


Soon We'll Be Found

by lilithsins



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Discussion of Abortion, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Instagram explodes, Internal Conflict, Lack of Communication, M/M, Medical Procedures, Mild Blood, Minor Injuries, Morning Sickness, Mpreg, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Past Character Death, Porn with Feelings, Post-Canon, Scent Marking, Sexual Content, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2018-09-16 12:02:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 305,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9269594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilithsins/pseuds/lilithsins
Summary: Yuuri slowly dropped his shaking hand from his mouth, and it drifted down to rest against his belly. He was eerily still as he stared off into space, and the scared, confused look in his eyes made Viktor's chest feel like it had a thousand pounds on top of it.When Yuuri finally spoke in a terrified, quivering whisper, it made tears well up in Viktor's eyes."What am I going to do?"When Yuuri's life is unintentionally turned upside down, he and Viktor are thrown onto a path in their relationship that neither of them could have foreseen. The future is a vast, uncertain cavern before them, and if they're going to get through it, they're going to have to lean on each other, to trust each other more than they ever have before......and it isn't always going to be easy.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was started by a Tumblr prompt, but instead of a short one shot like I'd planned, a plot bunny has latched its little teeth onto my ankle and demanded a full length fic. Not one to deny plot bunnies, Lil is once again writing trash. The prompt will still come, but much later.
> 
> This is set a few months after episode 12 ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (7/27/17) Like the space cadet I am, I somehow managed to delete this chapter, so I had to repost it. Sorry, all! I hate that the lovely comments are gone, but mistakes happen. :( it did allow me to go back and correct a couple of things to make it compliant with the rest of the story, though.
> 
> Hope you enjoy reading!

_Triple axel, triple toe loop…triple axel, triple toe loop…_

Crisp, sharp cuts of blade on ice, clean and pleasant. The sound was as familiar to Viktor as his own heartbeat, and never failed to send excitement thrilling through his chest. The wind against his face as he skated swiftly, whipping his bangs against his forehead and cheek, was icy in his lungs and made his chest ache in such a satisfying way. There was a breathless second as his muscles tensed, then the short, fast shred of the toe of his blade hitting the ice, then he was spinning blindingly fast in the air, landing the toe loop with a grandiose gesture and a lopsided smile in Yuuri's direction.

There was an indignant snort from behind him. "Showoff."

Viktor clutched his chest with a dramatic sigh. "You wound me, Yurio." The teen gave a halfhearted eye roll. "Did you see how I turned my foot at the end, Yuuri?"

Yuuri nodded, a light blush touching his cheeks, looking a bit starstruck. "I'll try it again," he promised, skating to build up speed.

The landing between the two jumps was what was giving Yuuri trouble, and he was attacking the flaw fervently, polishing it and refining it with Viktor's help. The determination shining in Yuuri's coppery brown eyes was visible even halfway across the skating rink as he practiced his heart out, beads of sweat glittering on his brow. Viktor was proud of how tenacious Yuuri's attitude was lately; he'd come such a long way from being too nervous to even land a jump properly in practice.

The rink was quiet that day; it was late, the last vestiges of sunlight pouring in through the windows in streams of orange, reflecting off of the ice and making it look like liquid gold. Viktor, Yuuri, and Yuri Plisetsky were the only ones on the ice, and for that, Viktor was glad. Yuuri always felt more comfortable when it was just the three of them.

Yuri landed a graceful triple Lutz next to Viktor, smirking across the ice. "You're awfully driven today, Katsudon." He skidded to a stop, holding his shoulder-length, wind-tousled hair off of his damp neck and letting out a tired huff. Yuuri proved him right by performing an almost perfect jump combo, only wobbling a little between jumps. Viktor couldn't keep himself from smiling proudly, and a Yuri gave a couple of mild claps.

"Good," Viktor called across the ice as Yuuri slowed to a stop, fanning his shirt, his chest heaving and his face flushed from exertion. He gave Viktor a shy, uncertain smile, still hesitant about accepting praise even after all this time. It made Viktor want to grin like a lovesick schoolboy, how soft and timid his Yuuri still was, so humble. He was glad that side of him hadn't faded; he found it irresistibly cute.

Viktor skated lazily from side to side, his hands in his pockets. "You're both getting tired, I can tell. A few more minutes and we'll stop, yes?" Viktor's stomach was starting to growl, and he knew that Yuuri and Yurio were probably getting hungry, too. They hadn't eaten since lunch, and Yuuri's mother, bless her, had promised to have food waiting for the trio back at the inn. Her birthday was in a few days, so they had traveled back to Japan from Russia for a short visit.

"Yes, please," Yuri groaned as he drifted by Viktor, "I'm starving."

"Sounds good," Yuuri agreed as he swiped the sweat from his forehead and nodded, skating forward and building up speed. Viktor stopped completely to give his full attention, his turquoise eyes locked on his fiancé. When he was in his element like he was today, Yuuri was an elegant force of nature on the ice, all grace and soft lines and chiseled muscle. Viktor loved watching him on days like this, when he threw his all into his performance. It was like he was only skating for one person in the entire world. A quick glance and a blushing smile from Yuuri made Viktor's face soften, and he rubbed the pad of his thumb over the ring on his right hand.

He was unspeakably honored to be that person.

Yuuri tensed as he skated forward, getting ready to jump, and started the triple axel rather well, but stumbled on the toe loop landing, touching one hand to the ice. He made a frustrated noise, bracing his hands on his knees and leaning over.

Yuri let out a loud, derisive snort as he gathered his hair into his hands, threading it through an elastic band to keep it off of his neck. "You can do better than that."

Viktor pursed his lips, and Yuuri straightened and waved at him with a grimace. "Sorry, I'll try again!"

"Don't apologize, you're fine." But he frowned inwardly. He couldn't put a finger on it, but something about Yuuri's voice was…off. More strained than it should be, even after all of the physical activity. _Probably just from tiredness._ He inwardly chastised himself for worrying over nothing.

Yuuri built up his speed again, his blades cutting the ice cleanly. He took off once more, spinning into the triple axel, but to Viktor's surprise, instead of transitioning to the toe loop, Yuuri lost his footing on the landing and fell, his hip and arm impacting the ice with a dull thud and a hiss of pain.

Viktor's back straightened and his frown deepened. Yuuri hardly ever fell in practice anymore.

"Graceful," Yuri noted.

Viktor ignored him. "Are you alright?" He asked gently as Yuuri slowly pushed himself up on trembling arms, looking a little shaken.

"I think so." He moved to stand, but suddenly froze, his eyes widening. Viktor skated a step forward, his brow creased in concern, and opened his mouth to speak, but whatever he was about to say was drowned out.

Yuuri doubled over and let out a choked, startled cry, full of pain and fear. The sound sent chills of dread pouring down Viktor's spine.

"Yuuri!" He yelled, and propelled himself forward as fast as he could without falling; he heard Yuri following behind him on his own skates. Yuuri curled up on his side, gasping and moaning breathlessly, and even from across the ice, Viktor could see that his face was white as a ghost. As they got closer, Viktor's heart leapt into his mouth, and Yuri let out a quiet "oh, fuck" from behind him.

There was a smear of bright red blood on the glassy surface underneath Yuuri.

Viktor briefly closed his eyes, his chest tight with panic. _Oh, God, please don't let it be bad_. Every possible worst case scenario flashed through his mind, from broken ankles to amputation, and it seemed like years before they were able to reach him, though in reality it was only a few seconds.

Viktor shredded to a stop and knelt on the ice next to Yuuri. He had his arms wrapped around himself, his teeth clenched and holding his breath, and the pain warping his pale features made Viktor's heart hurt. 

"Breathe, Yuuri," he murmured, and Yuuri forced out a rough groan, breathing hard. Though he had no visible injuries, Viktor quickly felt his arms and legs for broken bones, to be safe. "Where does it hurt?" He urged, unlacing and slipping the skates off of Yuuri's feet and gently pressing on his ankles. Where was the blood coming from…?

Yuuri coughed out a gasping sob. "M-my lower stomach," His voice cracked, and he curled in on himself tighter, his eyes squeezed shut. "Feels like s-stabbing… _nngh_ …"

 _His stomach…?_ Viktor wondered with a frown. A guttural noise of pain worked its way out of Yuuri's throat, and he squirmed and whimpered as if he was trying to get away from the pain. One of his hands scratched the ice, curling into a fist.

Viktor tensed. "Are you going to be sick?"

Yuuri's throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, and he shook his head, looking slightly ill. "I don't know…I don't think so…" He didn't sound too sure of himself. Viktor slipped his hand under the side of Yuuri's head, resting his other hand on his cheek and sadly brushing a tear away with his thumb. It must be bad if he was crying, he had a fairly high pain tolerance.

"Shhh, love…" Viktor soothed, and Yuuri reached up a shaky hand, grasping the front of Viktor's short-sleeved shirt. "Can you sit up?"

Yuuri cringed and panted out another moan, reaching down to curl his fingers into his belly. "I don't—"

"Viktor…" Yuri's voice sounded strange and distinctly unsettled. Viktor quickly looked up at him, and Yuri, his face paler than normal, lifted a slim, gloved hand and pointed to the lower half of Yuuri's body.

Viktor looked in the direction he was pointing and froze. He gently coaxed Yuuri's legs apart.

The blood, he finally realized, had seeped through the crotch of Yuuri's sweatpants.

The hair on the back of Viktor's neck stood up.

_What…?_

Yuuri followed their line of sight and blanched. "Wh-what—" his voice broke, but Viktor was already moving to pick him up.

"Yura," Viktor's voice rose, feeling thin and stiff in his throat, "call an ambulance." The teen raced off on his skates to get his phone, uncharacteristically compliant.

Viktor gathered Yuuri into his arms as quickly and carefully as he could, lifting him off of the ice and paying no mind to the blood that would most likely stain his clothes. Yuuri clenched his fingers into Viktor's shirt, and Viktor could feel him trembling in fear and pain.

"It's okay, Yuuri," he breathed, and his heart pounded in his ears as he skated his way off of the ice, carrying Yuuri bridal style.

Yuuri curled in on his stomach and let out another yelp, his head thrown back and his face tight with pain, and the sudden movement made Viktor wobble. "It hurts," Yuuri cried shakily, panting out short whimpers that were starting to sharpen with panic. Viktor tightened his hold, pressing his cheek against Yuuri's sweaty forehead.

"I know, I know," he murmured softly, "Yurio is calling an ambulance. Just breathe, and stay calm. You'll be okay. I'm right here with you, love. Try to be still, I don't want to drop you." He kept his voice low and soothing. Yuuri nodded jerkily against his shoulder.

The telltale quiver in Yuri's voice as he spoke into his phone was never brought up again.

-

Yuuri had been almost immediately admitted into the emergency room, thank God, but the staff had refused to let Viktor accompany him to the back until Yuuri had practically begged them to, pointing frantically to their rings and speaking in rapid, panicked Japanese. They had reluctantly allowed it, but had stopped Yuri at the door; he'd reluctantly stayed in the waiting room, but had given Yuuri one last worried look when he thought they weren't looking.

Viktor tensely paced around as they waited in a small room for the nurses to return. Something abnormal had shown up on the soft tissue scan they had performed, and they had said that Yuuri would need an additional abdominal ultrasound to see if they could find out what was wrong. Viktor tried his best to remain calm for Yuuri's sake—the poor kid was already on the verge of a panic attack, he didn't need Viktor making it worse—but he was having a difficult time sitting still.

He turned his attention to Yuuri, who lay in the hospital bed, curled up on his side and wearing the soft, seafoam green scrub pants he'd kindly been given.

"Are you still in pain? Still feeling sick?" He asked, touching the back of Yuuri's hand.

Yuuri jumped a little, startled out of his most likely dismal thoughts. "N-not as bad, but…" He slipped his hand under his shirt and pressed his fingers into his lower belly, his brows furrowed. "It feels…weird in there. Like…like something isn't right." His hand fell away, and his lip trembled. "I'm so scared, Viktor." His voice broke a little, and Viktor sat on the edge of the bed and smoothed his hand down the length of Yuuri's upper arm.

"I am, too," Viktor confessed, "but let's not worry too much, yet. It may be something harmless. We could be worrying for nothing." Yuuri reached up to grasp his hand, and Viktor could tell that he was doing his best to slow his breathing. He leaned down and pressed a long kiss to the smooth skin of Yuuri's temple. "That's the way," he murmured encouragingly, "nice and slow and deep." He carded his fingers through the soft, dark locks, and Yuuri nodded faintly against the pillow. He wondered, briefly, if that was the right thing to say. When Yuuri was like this, he was touchy, and Viktor was still learning the various coping techniques to help Yuuri lessen the anxiety. 

When the door to the small, sterile room finally opened again, a female nurse came through, rolling a sonogram stand behind her. She was petite, with her black hair pulled into a loose bun at the back of her head, wispy tendrils framing her slim, angular face. Her dark eyes were catlike, but she looked friendly as she smiled at them.

"Good evening, Nikiforov-san, Katsuki-san," her voice was soft and mellow, lightly accented, "I'm an ultrasound technician here, my name is Koharu." Viktor breathed a silent sigh of relief that she spoke English; the others they'd encountered thus far had only spoken Japanese, and his grasp on the language was still shaky. They both nodded politely as she sat on the rolling stool, tapping out commands on the keypad of the machine. "I need you to lie on your back for me, Katsuki-san, and pull up your shirt."

Yuuri obeyed, wincing as he did, and Viktor hovered worriedly over him as he settled his head on the pillow and pulled his shirt up to expose his abdomen. Nothing looked outwardly abnormal about it to Viktor: just smooth planes of creamy skin, muscles toned from years of skating.

Koharu picked up a tube of something blue and transparent, kneading it softly in her hands. "This will be cold," she said apologetically as she popped the cap and squeezed a swirl of gel onto Yuuri's lower belly, and his abdominal muscles visibly tensed at the temperature. She took the ultrasound wand and clicked a few buttons on the handle, pulled some slack into the cord, and gently rubbed into the gel on Yuuri's stomach, spreading it around and pressing the rubber tip of the wand below his belly button. "Now, let's see what's going on in here. Hopefully nothing serious." Her eyes darted back and forth, trained on the screen. "Are you still bleeding? Has the pain gotten any better?"

"N-no, I don't think so, and it's a little better," Yuuri said quietly. Viktor felt Yuuri slip his hand into his own, and he squeezed the cold fingers comfortingly and brushed the shaggy, dark bangs from Yuuri's forehead. Perhaps there was a benign explanation. Maybe they'd worried for nothing.

The woman squinted at the screen, a crease appearing between her brows. She scooted closer on her rolling stool, pressing more firmly with the wand. She was quiet for a moment, appearing confused. "Katsuki-san, pull your waistband down a little more, please." He hastily complied, and she moved the wand lower, frowning deeper.

"What is it?" He asked in a tiny voice.

The woman's face was serious as she stared at the screen of the monitor, moving the head of the wand over a particular spot several times. She tapped a few keys to still the frame in a couple of places, occasionally blinking long and slow.

"Katsuki-san…you're an omega, correct?" She finally asked.

Yuuri's face darkened in an embarrassed flush, but he nodded.

"Are you sexually active?"

The blush on Yuuri's cheeks deepened even further. He nodded once, quickly, his eyes fixed on a point far above him on the ceiling.

"When was your last heat?"

He looked back down at her, looking confused. "I…don't have heats. I'm infertile."

She didn't answer that.

Viktor's heart was drumming a nervous beat in his chest. He couldn't see the screen very well from where he was sitting, but what he could see just resembled television static. What was she seeing?

She abruptly set the wand down and pulled on a pair of blue latex gloves. "I'm going to touch you on your belly, okay?" she said in a calming tone, and Yuuri nodded slowly. She placed both hands on his belly, feeling around, moving her fingers as if searching for something, and Yuuri tensed and winced at her firm touch. Apparently she found it, because she stopped short, staring down at the pale, toned abdomen.

"Koharu-san…?" Yuuri began timidly, but she pulled one glove off and lifted her pager off of her neck. She spoke into it in Japanese, and Viktor didn't quite catch what she said, but Yuuri's eyes widened and he quickly propped himself on his elbows. "Ma'am, _please_ , what's the matter with me? Do I have cancer or something? Am I dying?" His voice rose a bit hysterically, and she gave him a firm, brisk pat on the knee that made Viktor bristle.

"If this is what it looks like, no, you don't have cancer and you aren't dying," she said in English, handing him a few tissues. "Please, try to stay as calm as possible, okay?"

Yuuri and Viktor exchanged an anxious glance as he wiped the lukewarm gel off of his abdomen. What did _that_ mean?

A soft knock sounded from the door, and a man in scrubs and a lab coat peeked his head through the doorway. "What is it?" He asked in soft Japanese. Koharu waved him over, and he hurried through the door, nodding and smiling politely to Viktor and Yuuri.

"What in the world is so fascinating? He's not a museum specimen." Viktor knew that his tone was cold, but he couldn't help it. The casual, clinical way they were acting was getting annoying. The two didn't act like they'd heard him, but instead turned their attention to the monitor.

Bewilderment was plain on the face of the Japanese doctor. He spoke and pointed at Yuuri, and Koharu nodded. His brow furrowed as he studied the still frame on the screen, whispering to her and pointing to a couple of places, and to Viktor, it sounded like he was asking "is that what I think it is?" The two walked a little ways away and whispered back and forth in Japanese. He and Yuuri both strained to hear them to no avail.

Viktor breathed out a quiet, frustrated curse, and Yuuri reached for his hand, trembling with fear. "Vitya," he breathed, his voice quivering, and Viktor rubbed his hand tenderly, juxtaposing the dark scowl on his face as he glared at the doctors.

"Could you two knock it off? You're going to give him a goddamn heart attack," he barked.

The doctor and nurse finally seemed to remember that they were there, and the young woman hastily sat back down on the stool, murmuring a soft apology. The man exited the room, giving Viktor a clap on the shoulder as he went by, like he was congratulating him.

Viktor blinked confusedly at the retreating back. What was that for?

The woman rummaged in the small drawer underneath the ultrasound machine. "This is going to sound crazy to you, but I want you to take this, Katsuki-san." Her voice was serious. "Take it into the bathroom and follow the instructions." She held out a small, rectangular box, and Yuuri sat up and stared at it, uncomprehending.

"Why should…" His brown eyes slowly widened, and Viktor felt his own heart skip a couple of beats.

It was a pregnancy test.

"Is this a joke?" Yuuri asked in disbelief, and Koharu wiggled the test in her hand, holding it out further.

"Please, Katsuki-san, just trust me," she said. Yuuri finally stood up and took the box with shaking hands, walking past Viktor into the tiny bathroom off to the side without another word. Viktor glanced after him worriedly, then turned to Koharu and gave her an incredulous look.

"Are you serious with this?" He hissed.

The woman nodded, her mouth set in a firm line. "I know he says he's infertile, but just look." Turning the monitor slightly, she pointed with one slim finger, tracing out a tiny shape on the screen that Viktor hadn't previously noticed. "Head…back…" Viktor followed her finger with wide eyes, his pulse jumping. "This could be a tiny arm right here…there's the other. Legs are down here. I may very well be mistaken, or crazy, either one. But it looks like a baby to me, turned toward us, and Dr. Nakamura agreed with me. He may have had a threatened miscarriage, or this could just be some normal first trimester spotting...whatever the case, there appears to be no harm done, as the baby is alive and intact as far as I'm able to tell. The heartbeat looks healthy and normal."

 _Baby. Heartbeat._  The words echoed in Viktor's head, and his stomach felt like a lead weight. Any other words that the woman said were fading into the back of his mind; he almost couldn't hear her over the white noise in his head.

There was no way. Yuuri was _infertile_.

...wasn't he?

Yuuri emerged from the bathroom, looking apprehensive. "The instructions say to wait for three minutes," he mumbled, looking down at the floor as he set the toilet paper wrapped test on the side table. "I…I just don't see how this could be possible, I can't have kids. And besides, isn't it a miniscule chance for male omegas to…to even be able to…?"

"Not as miniscule as you'd think, I'm afraid. Especially if you're young and healthy." Koharu looked grimly sympathetic, and Yuuri looked like he wanted to be sick. He gave Viktor a fearful look, and Viktor kicked himself mentally. _Say something, anything!_

Searching Yuuri's eyes helplessly, he opened his mouth to speak, but it felt like the words were trapped in his throat, refusing to come out. The weight of the situation was rapidly looming in his mind, stealing his coherence.

What if Yuuri really was…?

When the time was up on the test, they both stared at the small plastic stick in disbelief.

Two crisp, unmistakeable pink lines stared back at them.

Positive.

The pregnancy test slipped from Yuuri's fingers and hit the floor with a clack, and he sank down onto the edge of the bed, deathly pale. He covered his mouth with one hand, his panicked breathing growing faster.

"Oh, my _God_ ," he whimpered through his palm, sounding on the verge of tears.

Viktor stood numbly, frozen in place, his brain refusing to process properly. The back of his neck was ice cold; it was like a bucket of ice water had been dumped on him. He couldn't think over the dull roar in his head.

Koharu stood to her feet. "I'll give you a few minutes to yourselves. I'll be back to run more tests in a little while." She tactfully left the room, but neither one of them really noticed her leave.

"I…Yuuri…." Viktor's tongue rebelled against him once again, but Yuuri didn't act like he'd even heard him. A deafening silence blanketed the room, the heaviness and tension unlike anything Viktor had ever felt before. It weighed down on him like a physical presence, almost stifling in its intensity.

Yuuri slowly dropped his shaking hand from his mouth, and it drifted down to rest against his belly. He was eerily still as he stared off into space, and the scared, confused look in his eyes made Viktor's chest felt like it had a thousand pounds on top of it.

When Yuuri finally spoke in a terrified, quivering whisper, it made tears well up in Viktor's eyes.

"What am I going to do?"

Viktor forced his feet to walk forward slowly, reaching to rest his hand on Yuuri's shoulder. He desperately tried to come up with words to say, any sort of comfort, apology, reassurance, _anything_ , but once again, they refused to come. The truth was already plainly written on the still frame of the ultrasound monitor, whether either of them liked it or not.

The tiny, grey shape on the screen was a baby.

Yuuri was pregnant.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear.


	2. Chapter 2

It felt distinctly _wrong_ to be separated from Yuuri right now.

Viktor lay in his bed, miserably alone for the second night in a row. Rain fell outside his window in sheets, as if the sky somehow knew his mood was already dismal and wanted to make him feel even worse.

Since they'd gotten engaged, he and Yuuri had hardly been apart for a single night. Yuuri had been a little stiff and hesitant at first, never having shared a bed with another person, but Viktor had never forced any unwanted contact on him. He had simply waited patiently, letting Yuuri come to him in his own time. Every night, Yuuri had slept a little closer to him, gradually becoming more and more comfortable in his presence.

One night, about a week into their move to Russia, they had gotten ready for bed as usual, but instead of lying beside him, Yuuri had quietly lifted Viktor's arms and slipped underneath them, resting his blushing cheek against Viktor's bare chest. Viktor had gently held him close, pressing a kiss to his silken black hair and counting his blessings.

It had made him feel...special. Breathless, like a lovely butterfly had chosen to land on his finger, and he was captivated by its beauty, in awe that it had trusted him.

They had fallen asleep in the warmth of each other's arms every night since then.

Until now.

Now, the bed almost felt too big without Yuuri, but Viktor wasn't sure Yuuri wanted to be anywhere near him right now.

 _Or ever again_ , he thought miserably.

When they had arrived back at the onsen from the hospital the previous evening, Yuuri had, very worryingly, locked himself in his room. His parents begged with him to tell them what was wrong, but no amount of pleading from Viktor or his family would get a word of response.

Viktor had reluctantly decided to give him space, not wanting to push him too hard, but he was saddened by the knowledge that Yuuri was probably in the clutches of a panic attack. From what his parents said, he often retreated into himself when he got like this, even though he knew he shouldn't.

However, when morning came, Yuuri still hadn't come out of his room. Yuuri's older sister had pulled Viktor outside, and they'd taken a short walk. She had asked if they had had a fight, and if there was anything she could do to help. Her chestnut brown eyes were sympathetic, her face open and kind.

Viktor had ached so badly to tell her what was wrong. To ask her advice. Though he didn't know her very well yet, Mari always seemed wise and sensible, and he knew she would know what to do. She had far more experience around Yuuri than he did.

However, he couldn't bring himself to tell her. Yuuri was the one carrying the baby, it would be unfair to tell anyone without him.

Even though she didn't know the reason for their distance, she still offered him a few words of encouragement, her husky voice quiet and pensive.

_"Whatever happened between you two, I know that it's not just something flippant. Yuuri wouldn't have pushed you so far away if it was, he's never been a very petty person. You may just have to give him a little time, Viktor. Be patient with him, and he'll sort out his feelings and let you in eventually."_

At the time, it had given Viktor a little hope to hold on to, but now, laying in bed with Yuuri several rooms away, he didn't know whether it was the right thing to do or not.

He wondered if Yuuri felt the absence as acutely as he did.

Though he was without his fiancé, Makkachin still dozed away at his feet, ever faithful. He stuck his foot out from under the sheets and gently rubbed into the warm brown fur on the poodle's side, and Makkachin happily snuggled into the contact.

He glanced at the clock, and with a sigh, he saw that it was already nearly three a.m. There was no way he was getting any sleep any time soon, even though he hadn't slept a wink the night before, either. The image of Yuuri's tearstained, panicked face was still burned into his mind, chasing away any hope of rest, mental or physical.

The day they were at the hospital, once the realization had fully dawned on Yuuri, he had been so distraught that he had stumbled to the toilet and thrown up.

 _"I can't be pregnant, I'm not even supposed to be fertile!"_ He had kept repeating frantically once he had recovered enough to talk, tears trickling down his cheeks in steady streams. He had looked so pale that Viktor was afraid he was going to pass out; his lips had been almost white, and he had swayed unsteadily as he leaned against the doorframe, still weak from vomiting and shock.  _"I...I just can't be..."_

His own paralyzing shock having worn off, Viktor had hugged him close, his tongue finally cooperating and letting him speak. All he could come up with were generic words of comfort, hollow even to his own ears.

_"It's okay, Yuuri. We can get through this together."_

Yuuri had tensed up, then slowly broken out of the hug, stepping away from Viktor and turning away, his shoulders trembling.

It had felt like a physical slap had been dealt to Viktor's face, stinging him far more than words could have. His chest felt hollow and tight, like his heart had been scooped out of his ribcage and squeezed just hard enough to hitch his breath.

_"Yuuri…"_

Yuuri seemed to know, judging by the look of utter grief he'd given Viktor over his shoulder.

An uncrossable chasm had seemed to open up between them, though they were a few feet from each other.

For the first time since Yuuri had told him he wanted to retire, Viktor's throat had closed off and wounded tears had moistened his eyes.

It had _hurt._

Once he had calmed down, Yuuri was in vehement, almost angry denial, refusing to believe that he could have conceived a baby and insisting that he was infertile, like his doctor had told him all his life. He had argued back and forth with the ultrasound technician in Japanese once she returned, and from what Viktor could understand, he was _pissed_ , stopping just short of calling the girl a liar and demanding that she give him tangible proof.

All of the fight had left him when the woman had performed another ultrasound, and this time, she had turned up the volume.

A strange, swishy thudding had filled the quiet room, barely even there, but steady.

Their baby's heartbeat.

_Their baby had a heartbeat._

Yuuri's face had fallen, completely defeated. He had taken his glasses off and covered his face, any more words of argument silenced by his baby's tiny heart pulsing inside his womb, the sound of it somewhere in the valley between beautiful and terrifying.

Despite the shock of the situation, Viktor had covered his mouth, tearing up for an entirely different reason.

That was his child's heartbeat he was hearing.

 _Their_ child.

To their surprise, after a checkup, the baby turned out to be relatively fine. As it turned out, the cramping Yuuri had experienced hadn't just been the beginnings of a miscarriage, though that had certainly been the cause of the bleeding. His body was already shifting things around, making room for his uterus to expand in the coming months, and that had caused a lot of the pain.

Yuuri had nearly vomited again when the nurse told him that.

Fortunately, with rest and proper care, Yuuri and the baby— _we have a baby,_ Viktor thought blearily, not for the last time—would be just fine. Viktor was just glad that Yuuri hadn't been seriously hurt by the fall; the only lasting injuries were bruises and scrapes on his hip and arm that were tender to the touch.

 _"You're just under 9 weeks along,"_ Koharu had hesitantly told Yuuri, patting him on the shoulder, _"If you haven't already, you'll be starting to feel morning sickness soon, and you'll be a little moody. If you're going to continue with your pregnancy, you'll need to stay off of your feet and rest as much as possible for at least a month, so your body can heal, and so that stress to the baby will be minimized. You'll also need to start taking some prenatal supplements and increasing your protein and calcium intake, to help the baby develop. I can get someone to write you a prescription for the supplements if necessary."_

Yuuri had just sat silently, his face ashen and his eyes shadowed by fear, holding one hand over his belly and looking like his entire world was crumbling around him.

Viktor supposed it was, in a way.

Now that he thought back a few weeks, Yuuri _had_ been experiencing morning sickness. Viktor hadn't forgotten that one day, about two weeks ago, when Yuuri had gotten so sick at the skating rink. It had made him panic pretty badly, and Viktor's heart had twisted with pity as Yuuri had reached back for his hand as he knelt in front of the toilet, silently pleading as tears of fright spilled down his chalky face. _Poor thing…_

Viktor had been worried about him, but Yuuri had just dismissed it as anxiety, nonchalantly brushing him off. However, not too long after, he'd gotten so dizzy that Viktor had had to catch him to keep him from falling to the floor.

When Viktor had questioned how fine he really was, Yuuri had very uncharacteristically snapped his head off. A scathing retort had been on the tip of Viktor's tongue, but he had bitten it back and walked away for a few minutes to cool off, not wanting to say something he shouldn't.

He hadn't wanted to admit it at the time, but it had hurt his feelings.

He groaned inwardly; it was obvious now that Yuuri's angry outburst had been due to his fluctuating hormones.

Not only that, a few days later, Yuuri had gotten sick again at their apartment two days in a row, but had dismissed as food poisoning, telling Viktor not to worry. It had spurred another argument, and Yuuri had gotten mad at him again.

 _"I wish you would at least consider going to a doctor,"_ Viktor had huffed at one point, his hands on his hips, and Yuuri had groaned angrily, rubbing his temples.

_"Viktor, food poisoning is not deadly, I assure you. It will go away on its own, now will you stop worrying?"_

Viktor had finally relented when Yuuri wouldn't budge. He hadn't noticed him getting sick since, but he had to wonder how many times Yuuri had been ill and just didn't bother to tell him, or maybe even hid it from him.

They had both had no idea it was because of a baby.

_Hindsight is 20/20, I suppose..._

He grimaced up at the ceiling. He should have made more of an effort to comfort Yuuri at the hospital, looking back on it. The poor kid's whole life had been thrown off the rails in a matter of minutes, and Viktor had just stood there like a heel, relatively speechless from shock for far too long.

And if he had been sent mentally reeling, he couldn't even begin to imagine how Yuuri felt.

If only Yuuri would talk to him. Viktor wanted to give him a shoulder to cry on, to reassure him, to kiss him and love him. _To apologize,_ he thought guiltily, closing his eyes in the darkness and clutching the pillowcase in his fingers. _This is partially my fault, after all…_

He had attempted to talk to Yuuri once, when they had met in the hall earlier that night, and it nearly broke Viktor's heart to see Yuuri act so fearful around him. He had avoided Viktor's eyes nervously, like he couldn't stand to look at him, and dark circles smudged the pale skin underneath his eyes; he evidently hadn't gotten any sleep either.

 _"Yuuri,"_ Viktor had said softly, surprised to see him out of his room.

Yuuri had simply looked down, avoiding his eyes and starting to walk by him.

 _"Yuuri, wait…"_ without thinking, Viktor had desperately reached out, grasping Yuuri by the wrist and stopping him, and Yuuri's eyes had shot up to meet his own.

The pain that swam in the coppery pools had been so raw and undisguised that Viktor had almost taken a step backward.

 _Please don't,_ the eyes had pleaded silently.

Viktor had slowly let go, dropping his hand to his side. When Yuuri turned back around, Viktor's eyes had stung.

 _"Should…should we at least tell your parents…?"_ Viktor had asked weakly. All he had gotten was a faint head shake as an answer, and Yuuri had quickly retreated back to his room and left Viktor standing in the hallway, feeling more alone than he had in a long time.

He had silently agreed to respect Yuuri's wishes and keep the baby a secret.

The baby. He shook his head slowly, unblinking, dazed.

_We have a baby…_

There was a real, live, growing baby, safely nestled inside of Yuuri. It had looked so tiny and vulnerable on the ultrasound monitor, barely-developed limbs loosely curled around itself, its miniscule, visible heart softly beating away.

He rubbed his eyes hard with one hand, watching the crackly pink and green static behind his eyelids.

_After all this time, you're still surprising me…_

His mind chose that moment to unceremoniously dump memories on him of Yuuri trembling underneath him, writhing and moaning with pleasure, gasping and whimpering Viktor's name over and over like a mantra. His cheeks burned hot as he recalled the tight, slick feeling of Yuuri around him, how warm his arousal-heated skin had felt against Viktor's own damp chest. His delicious pheromones had filled Viktor's lungs, the tangy, sweet scent almost dizzying, an aphrodisiac that never failed to strip him bare.

He was soundly smacked in the face by the realization that that had been the one time he had ever forgotten a condom. He covered his face in disbelief. 

 _Your fault,_ a tiny, accusing voice jabbed in his mind.

Viktor let his hands fall away and blinked into the darkness, feeling strangely conflicted. Because of one oversight, they were faced with a baby that neither of them had planned, neither of them had ever even thought was possible. The doctor had told them that it was nothing short of miraculous that Yuuri had conceived in the first place, and that omegas with Yuuri's particular genetic makeup were hardly ever capable of bearing children.

_What would happen if we kept it?_

He'd had a passing thought before of having children, but when Yuuri had told him that he wasn't capable of getting pregnant, he'd put the thought out of his mind. But now…

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. There was no way they could keep the baby, not if Yuuri wanted to skate in the upcoming season.

And if he was being completely honest, the thought of being a father was pretty daunting. He didn't know if he was cut out for parenthood. It was a hard job.

He hesitantly mulled the thought over in his mind. Him and Yuuri, having a child together.

He couldn't help but wonder if it would really be so bad.

Curling up on his side and pulling his warm blankets around himself, he allowed himself a few moments to entertain the idea, shoving away any negative thoughts.

Yuuri's belly would get bigger and rounder as the baby grew. A brief smile involuntarily touched Viktor's lips as he imagined Yuuri with a baby bump distended out in front of him.

It would be cute.

Would Yuuri talk sweetly to their unborn baby, his hands gently resting on his rounded tummy?

Would Viktor be able to feel the baby kick if he touched Yuuri's belly in the later months?

He was a little surprised at how easily he could picture Yuuri holding a tiny, blanket-wrapped newborn, his handsome face lit up with love. He wondered if the baby would have Yuuri's pretty dark hair…

_Maybe it wouldn't be so bad._

A lump rose in his throat, and he swallowed, blinking back sudden tears.

_Should we keep the baby?_

To his shock, the confusing tears didn't stop. They trickled down his cheeks, plipping softly onto the pillowcase, and he touched the wetness on his face, blinking.

_Why am I crying?_

A bewildering, almost crushing mixture of sadness and happiness pressed down on his heart so heavily that he had to stifle a sob, curling up further and squeezing his eyes shut.

He was a _father_.

_Oh, God, I'm a father…_

A few silent sobs shook his body, then he caught his breath, wiping his cheeks with the heel of his hand.

As scary as it was, it was also…amazing.

As he brought himself back to reality, a profound, weighty sadness washed over him.

There was no use imagining something that would never happen. In actuality, Yuuri might never even want to see him again, much less raise a baby that he probably didn't even want. There was no way Yuuri would want to keep the baby.

…would he?

A frustrated groan left his lips, and he rubbed his eyes again. He didn't want to get ahead of himself, but he couldn't deny that a small part of him wanted the baby. It was a part of both of them, conceived in love. A perfect little miracle.

What concerned him more was what Yuuri wanted. Yuuri was the one who was pregnant, and it was ultimately his decision what they did.

The trouble was getting Yuuri to actually talk to him. He was still locked in his room, and so far, Viktor had received no responses when he knocked.

Would Yuuri ever want to talk to him again…?

He considered Yuuri for a moment. In the time that they had lived together in St. Petersburg so far, Yuuri had become so much more than just his fiancé. He was Viktor's best friend, his companion, a constant support. Viktor never had to even say if he'd had a bad day: Yuuri just knew. He would cradle Viktor close, running his fingers through his hair and giving him gentle kisses, simply offering his comfort and presence if Viktor didn't feel like talking.

Yuuri had such a distinct presence about him, one that Viktor had never seen in anyone else before. One that was quiet and unobtrusive, but with such underlying intensity and heat that even Yuuri himself was sometimes caught off guard by it. There were layers to him, a myriad of them, and Viktor was the only one he let dig deep enough to uncover what hid underneath his insecurity and timidness.

Every day that they spent together, Viktor fell deeper in love with him.

And one day, he would be his husband.

Viktor twisted his ring on his finger, watching the smooth surface glint in the dim light from the streetlights outside the window. His lip quivered involuntarily, and he closed his eyes against the ache in his heart and buried his face in his pillow, silently fighting back more tears.

That is, if Yuuri still wanted him, he would.

_What should we do…?_

He lay there for a few more minutes, struggling internally, until he couldn't stand it any more and sat up, impatiently brushing away the droplet that slid down his cheek. He deliberated for only a moment more before he made up his mind.

This was too important to leave hanging between them any longer.  
  
He threw his sheets and comforter back, slipping his robe on and tying the belt.

With a skip of his heartbeat, he hoped and prayed that Yuuri would talk to him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ganbatte, Viktor.
> 
> Thank you again for the encouraging comments! I didn't expect people to actually like this ;; ♡
> 
> I start back at university in a couple of days, so look for another update possibly over next weekend~


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note: even though this is a/b/o, it may not be quite as straightforward as it usually is in the majority of other a/b/o fics. I've always been a little bothered by how black and white the dynamics seem, like...all alphas are primal and wild and knotty, all omegas are submissive and always have regular heats, etc. Every individual's body is very different in the real world, and I feel like it would make sense for it to be that way in a/b/o, as well. More realistic, if you will.
> 
> The dynamics are still there, but just more private and a little less...intense? Idk, just know that I'm not trying to offend anyone by taking artistic liberties. ;;
> 
> I'm rambling. Here, have some crushing angst.

_Two weeks before..._

  
"Yuuri, are you okay?"

Viktor's voice rose in alarm from behind the bathroom door, and Yuuri hunched over the toilet and coughed and gagged again, his eyes blurring with tears at the sour taste of bile. He despised throwing up. He always cried, and it made him feel so weak and helpless. He forced out a faint moan in reply, and a hesitant "Can I come in?" drifted through the door.

"You might not want to," he managed. He tore off a length of toilet paper and wiped his mouth with shaking hands, spitting into the toilet and cringing. God, that tasted horrible.

Viktor cautiously opened the door, stepping in and regarding Yuuri with concern in his blue eyes. "You should have told me you weren't feeling well," he admonished, leaning down to touch Yuuri's back with one hand, "you shouldn't be skating if you're sick."

"I didn't really know," Yuuri said weakly, gripping his knees tightly and panting. "It hit me all of a sudden, I'm lucky I didn't throw up on the ice." He couldn't stop the whimper of dread that rose in his throat as another wave of nausea cramped his stomach and broke him out in a cold sweat. "Not again…" he pleaded, covering his mouth and squeezing his eyes shut.

Viktor's hand slowly rubbed up and down his back. "Don't hold it in, you'll feel better afterward," he said gently, and Yuuri lurched over the toilet again, dry heaving, tears spilling down his face as his stomach constricted painfully to force out what little was still in it. He couldn't stop the sob that tore from his throat and shook his shoulders, and he heard Viktor making quiet, soothing sounds from behind him. He held a hand to his throat, coughing and gasping desperately; he could hear his heart pounding in his ears a little too fast.

"I know it feels awful, but try to stay calm, Yuuri," Viktor reminded softly as he reached up to flush the toilet, keeping one hand on Yuuri's back. Yuuri took deep breaths, forcing the air out through pursed lips, and inwardly berated himself for letting something as simple as vomiting throw him into a panic attack so easily. He reached behind him, blindly searching. Viktor's soft, warm hand closed around his own, and he gripped it tightly, focusing on his breathing and the feeling of the hands in his and against his back. It helped to ground him, gradually pulling him from the brink of panic, and he let out another soft sob, this time of shame, tears dripping off of his chin into the toilet.

"I'm sorry." He wiped his wet cheeks with his other hand, sniffling, then wiped his mouth again, feeling a bit dizzy.

He could hear the smile in Viktor's voice as he spoke. "There nothing to be sorry for." The hand at his back patted him tenderly. "I cry and panic when I throw up, too. Lots of people do, it's a normal, natural reaction. Don't be embarrassed."

Yuuri managed a trembly smile, trying to imagine Viktor ever truly panicking about anything.

"I'll try." He took a few more deep breaths, his racing heart slowly returning to a normal speed.

After a little while, Viktor stood and offered his hand. "Do you need a few more minutes, or can you stand?"

Yuuri clasped his hand and stood up, swaying a little and leaning against the wall. "I think I'll be okay." He leaned over the sink to rinse his mouth and wash his hands, and he was a little startled by his reflection in the mirror. _Jeez, I look haggard…_

"Something you ate, perhaps?" Viktor mused, touching his chin with one slender finger and frowning, and Yuuri lifted one shoulder in a tired shrug, wiping his mouth with a paper towel.

"Most likely anxiety related," he said with a sigh, "like most of my problems. I'll be fine." He didn't want to worry Viktor any more than necessary.

Viktor looked a little dubious, but nodded and rested a hand at the small of Yuuri's back as they walked from the bathroom back to the rink area, where Yuri and Mila were still skating.

"I can take you home if you want," he offered as they passed through the door, and Mila gave them a questioning look from the ice.

"Viktor, no," Yuuri protested, waving him off, "it will be fine, I need to stay and practice." As if to betray his words, he was suddenly thrown off balance by a strong wave of dizziness, and Viktor caught him with a yelp, supporting him under his arms before he could fall to the floor. His head spun thickly, and for a second, he was afraid he was about to throw up again, but it passed.

"Yuuri, are you okay?" Mila called in concern, slipping on her skate covers and stepping off of the ice, and Yuri gave them a look of seeming dismissal as he skated the perimeter.

Viktor slipped an arm around Yuuri's waist to hold him up, frowning as Yuuri rubbed his temple with a shaky hand. "You're fine, huh?" He said sarcastically.

Anger abruptly blazed up in Yuuri's chest, and he knocked Viktor's hand off of him and roughly shoved him away.

"It's not that big of a deal," he snapped, "stop being such a mother hen." His voice echoed in the relatively silent building, and he realized too late how loud he'd just spoken.

Viktor's eyes reflected pain for a few seconds, then hardened, the blue of his irises cold. He set his jaw and held his hands up in surrender.

"Fine."

He stalked away, brushing Mila's hand away when she reached out to him with a worried look. Yuuri's eyes smarted as he watched Viktor leave the rink area, his broad shoulders tense and his hands shoved in his pockets.

 _Why did I do that?_ The anger left him as suddenly as it had come, and he sank down onto the bench and covered his face in shame, unable to stop the tears that leaked out of his eyes.

"Goddamn." Yuri's voice came to his ears, overly bright with derision. "That's the first time I've ever heard you so much as raise your voice. Good job, Katsudon, you finally grew a—"

"Yuratchka." Mila's sharp voice warned, and Yuri fell silent with a scoff. Yuuri just ignored him.

He heard the thunk of her skate covers against the wooden floor, and a small, gloved hand lightly rested on his shoulder. "Yuuri, what's wrong? You seem a little on edge. I've never seen you get angry like that."

He opened his eyes, scrubbing his cheeks with the heel of his hand and sniffling. "I don't know, I…he's only worried because I got sick." Yuuri's shoulders slumped and he gave a hitching sigh. "I hope he's not too mad at me."

Mila gave him a sympathetic pat on his shoulder. "He's the kind of person to walk away from an argument so he won't say something he doesn't mean. He just needs to cool off for a little while. Besides, he left his duffle bag and jacket, so he'll come back, I'm sure of it." He looked up to see the young woman giving him a reassuring smile, and he reluctantly nodded.

"I guess so…"

At Mila's suggestion, he stayed off of the ice for a while, carefully sipping from his water bottle to keep from getting dehydrated; it felt so good to his dry, abused throat. He watched Yuri and Mila practice, trying not to worry that Viktor hadn't returned. _He'll come back,_ Mila's confident words rang in his mind, and he decided to trust that she was right.

Why had he gotten so angry? Viktor had just been expressing concern. Yuuri had no reason to go off on him like that, but the sarcasm had made him see red for some reason. He chewed on his bottom lip nervously. He needed to apologize.

He jumped when he heard Yakov grunt behind him, and turned around to see the old man scowling down at him. "Why aren't you on the ice," he asked curtly, and Yuuri fidgeted, feeling much younger than his twenty-four years under the scrutiny.

"I got dizzy and sick, so I stopped for a while. I'll get back on as soon as I can," he said apologetically, and Yakov gave another noncommittal grunt, turning away. Yuuri heard him mumble something about staying hydrated as he walked away, turning his attention to the other skaters, and Yuuri breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Yakov could be a grump, but he meant well.

True to Mila's words, Viktor only stayed away for about fifteen minutes, and Yuuri had been able to keep his mind busy by watching the other skaters. He didn't even notice Viktor come up behind him until he was sitting down next to him with a sigh. They were silent for a little while, watching the rink, until Yuuri worked up the courage to talk.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, cracking his knuckles and absently twisting his engagement ring. "I…I don't know what got into me. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that, Viktor."

Viktor laid his hand on Yuuri's knee. "You're forgiven," he assured, his voice soft, "I've just never seen you sick before, and it, well...it scared me a little. I didn't mean to be clingy."

"No, y-you weren't clingy," Yuuri said hastily, looking down at Viktor's hand on his leg. He could feel the warmth from the palm seeping through the soft fabric of his sweatpants. "I was rude, and it was uncalled for. You're concerned for my health, as my coach, and…my…" his cheeks burned.

"Fiancé," Viktor supplied with a sweet smile, and Yuuri gave a soft, shy smile and nodded.

"Right." He still couldn't get used to the idea of being engaged to Viktor Nikiforov. It was surreal.

"If this persists, perhaps you should go to the doctor? It's only a suggestion," Viktor amended.

"I may." Yuuri covered Viktor's hand with his own. "Thank you for worrying about me, Viktor."

Viktor turned his hand over and lifted Yuuri's hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to the knuckles that made Yuuri's cheeks flush even more. "My pleasure." His intense gaze was always so mesmerizing, and Yuuri found himself staring into the crystal blue pools. Viktor's gaze briefly dropped down to his mouth, and Yuuri's heart tap danced in his chest as Viktor lifted his gaze back up, a smile lifting one corner of his heart-shaped lips.

"Hey, Viktor! Are you two coming back out here or what?" Yuri's annoyed voice broke the spell, and Yuuri looked away, pressing the back of his knuckles to his warm cheek and willing his heart to stop fluttering.

Viktor stood and lifted his hand toward the teen, giving him a subdued smile. "Coming." He turned back to Yuuri, raising his eyebrows. "Do you feel well enough to skate?"

Yuuri mulled over the question, taking note of how he felt. "I think so, yes." He took Viktor's hand and he pulled him up, and he was pleased at the lack of dizziness. Maybe it really had passed...it was probably just an isolated incident.

"Well, then, my Yuuri, shall we?" Viktor gave him a sunny smile, and he found himself returning it.

"Sure."

-

How blissfully ignorant he'd been.

It hadn't been an isolated incident at all. It had been _morning sickness._

The nurse patiently kept repeating it for him, he saw the positive pregnancy test, he saw the _actual baby_ inside of him on the ultrasound, and yet he still didn't want to believe it.

_This can't be happening to me._

He curled up on his bed and tried very hard to ignore the muffled voices of Viktor and his family outside his door. He couldn't face them right now, not when he'd fucked up his entire life.

He had held it together enough to get to his room, but now his efforts to breathe slowly were beginning to fail, and his heart was starting to race, the familiar feeling of tightness restricting his breathing and causing him to get even more worked up.

 _You need to calm down_ , his mind whispered in a voice that sounded a lot like Viktor's, but the panic was wrapping around his throat so fast that he couldn't stop it. Tears leaked out of his tightly shut eyes, and he buried his face in his pillow, panting out shallow breaths.

 _There's a baby inside of me,_ he thought wildly, his pulse pounding in his neck.

The thought was terrifying, not only because holy _shit_ , he was _pregnant with his coach's baby_ , but also because it wasn't even supposed to be possible. His doctor had always told him that he was infertile, that he would never be capable of carrying children. Mostly because he had never really had a heat, except for years ago, when he was sixteen and had first presented, and even then, it wasn't a full-blown omegan heat like he'd always heard described. He'd just felt a little feverish for a few days, and a little more easily aroused. It had passed and never come back, as far as he knew, and he'd put it out of his mind and simply thanked his lucky stars that he didn't have it as bad as some people, who had miserable, week-long heats.

Before they'd left the hospital, the nurse—Koharu?—had taken a moment to talk to Yuuri privately. She informed him that heats were different for every omega; some had regular intense heats every month, some had mild heats two or three times a year, some only had heats after they'd settled with a partner, and some barely had heats at all. Evidently, he was the last type she'd mentioned, though she cautioned him that having a baby may change that.

Now that he truly thought about it, it wasn't so implausible. He did occasionally have bouts where he was more horny than usual, but they had never really felt like a tangible, discernible _heat_ , and they were by no means regular. Perhaps that explained why the woodsy, musky scent clinging to Viktor's neck drove him nuts sometimes when they were intimate. Had he been having a mild form of heats all this time and hadn't even known?

He gulped. He felt so irresponsible.

He thought back to one of the last few times he had shyly tugged Viktor into their bedroom, and he realized something far too late. It wasn't Viktor backing him onto the bed and climbing on top of him, or the feeling of Viktor's hot, pulsing length spreading him open that Yuuri suddenly remembered. No, it was something they'd forgotten. Something they'd never forgotten before.

A condom.

That was the time, Yuuri realized, that he'd conceived. It was at the right time, too, as far as he could tell: nearly nine weeks ago. They'd been so caught up in each other that they'd neglected to use protection, and though Yuuri vaguely remembered thinking about it in the heat of the moment, he hadn't had the presence of mind to stop Viktor, nor the knowledge that a condom was an actual necessity.

And now, because of that, they had a baby.

A _baby…_

He caught his breath and wiped his face, the panic slowly dissipating enough that he could think more rationally. He hesitated, then slipped a hand underneath his shirt and flattening his palm on his stomach, keenly aware of the fact that a baby now grew just under his hand, in a womb that he had thought for the longest time was barren. A baby he'd nearly lost because he hadn't even known they were there. His emotions were pulling him in every direction; he didn't know whether to feel abject horror that he was pregnant or crushing guilt that he'd nearly miscarried.

 _I'm sorry,_ he whispered silently down at his flat belly.

A fresh wave of tears streamed down his face, and he closed his eyes and buried his face in his pillow again, fighting with himself inwardly.

Besides the typical childhood daydreams, he had never seriously considered having children. Even when he'd met Viktor, he had thought it was an arbitrary daydream, completely out of his reach.

He had thought it was impossible.

He had wanted to skate as long as he could by Viktor's side, and he thought that he'd had all the time in the world to live out his skating career.

But now, even despite that, a tiny part of him almost _wanted_ the baby, to his dismay. It was like an invisible string was tugging his heart, one that hadn't been there before, compelling him to protect and love his baby with everything in his being.

It almost made him angry. He didn't want to want the baby. Hell, he almost wanted to _resent_ the little thing.

But it was difficult not to want his own child, his own flesh and blood, when such instincts were weaved into the very fabric of his being.

Besides, it wasn't like it was the baby's fault. It hadn't asked for Katsuki Yuuri to be its mom. It was the innocent party here.

Suddenly, he realized that a strange fondness had begun to soften his heart, and he shook his head and rubbed his temples, stepping back and telling himself to think logically.

He couldn't keep the baby. He was a figure skater in the prime of his career, only twenty-four years old. Having a baby right now would set him back considerably, if he was even able to continue skating at all. Babies were a _lot_ of work.

But…

He curled his fingers into his hair, feeling more conflicted than he ever had in his life.

Deep down, he knew that he'd eventually have to talk to Viktor about it, and that alone was enough to paralyze him with fear.

His throat ached as he remembered the look of complete shock and incredulity on Viktor's face at the hospital. Viktor had barely said a word to him once they'd found out he was pregnant, and Yuuri could only assume that it was out of anger. Why else had he been so silent?

Another stifled sob left his lips.

_He probably hates me._

Oh, the thought was unbearable. He loved Viktor so much it _hurt_ , and to see him so terrified at the hospital had hurt even more.

Viktor had held him close, tried to whisper words of comfort, but Yuuri had felt so ashamed that he didn't even want Viktor to look at him, much less touch him. The wounded look in Viktor's eyes as Yuuri had broken out of his embrace made Yuuri want to crawl in a deep, dark hole and never come out.

_I'm so sorry, Viktor…_

Yuuri turned over on his back, covering his eyes and sobbing as softly as he could. He suddenly missed his poodle more than ever; many a time he'd buried his face in Vicchan's soft fur and cried, the patient little dog licking the tears from his cheeks. However, Makkachin was beginning to have a special place in his heart, too. He wished that the friendly poodle was with him now.

He sniffled deeply and hugged a pillow to his chest, taking off his tear-spattered glasses and setting them at his side. Too many thoughts were bombarding him at once, and he could barely keep track of them all. He blinked the tears from his eyes, gazing up at the water stains on his ceiling.

What was going to happen to him? To his relationship with Viktor?

What if Viktor didn't even want the baby?

_I'm not even sure if I do, either…but…_

What if…what if Viktor wanted him to get rid of it?

He closed his eyes with a choked sob, cursing inwardly. Sure, he was terrified, but…he had a _baby_. A tiny, innocent baby. He was a _mother_. Could he really…

But…if Viktor didn't want it…

Could he bear to…

His throat ached as he swallowed, biting his lip. He realized with a dull ache in his heart that the idea made him feel like vomiting.

He couldn't do it.

But…he couldn't go through with the pregnancy, either, could he?

If he did, it might be treated as a scandal. Katsuki Yuuri, knocked up by his coach mere months after moving into his apartment in Russia with him. God, the fans would lose their collective minds. He may even be publicly shamed, his reputation irrepairably ruined.

Not only was having a baby bad for his career, but his _health_. If he continued the pregnancy, he'd been warned that another threatened miscarriage was entirely possible if he wasn't careful not to strain his body. Not to mention the fact that he had always heard that, most of the time, pregnancy was pretty hard on male omegas. Though they had all the parts, they still weren't ideal for carrying children. Their hip structure was more narrow than female omegas, and it could make for difficulty, and even serious complications, in childbirth.

Distracted fingers absently rubbed into his belly, very gently. He was on bed rest for at least a month, and his heart felt like a stone as he realized how disappointed his parents would be if he had to tell them. He'd have to, eventually, on the off chance that he kept the baby. His belly wasn't going to stay flat and easy to hide for long, after all.

So why, with so many odds stacked against him, was he so hesitant to get rid of the baby?

 _Because you want to keep it?_ a tiny voice in the back of his mind whispered.

He shook his head slowly at the ceiling, tears streaming down his temples and a sick flutter in his heartbeat.

_I…I don't know...maybe._

But…what about what Viktor wanted? Would Viktor really want to be tied down to a husband and child this early in life?

Was Viktor so important to him? Would he really do… _that_ …if Viktor wanted him to?

He remembered the look on Viktor's face the first time they'd ever kissed, at the Cup of China after his free skate. The love in his eyes had been so tangible, like Yuuri could reach out and grasp it. The warm comfort of Viktor's embrace at the airport a few months later after the Rostelecom Cup, when he'd placed a tender kiss on Yuuri's fingers and tiredly joked about a marriage proposal. Even in his exhaustion, Viktor had looked so happy to be near him.

 _I wish you'd never retire._ The incredibly soft voice whispered in Yuuri's ear again.

He remembered the sparkly tears that fell from Viktor's eyes when Yuuri had told him that he wanted to part ways and retire, how he'd berated Yuuri for being selfish. He remembered absently thinking how beautiful Viktor looked, even when he was crying. He winced briefly; that had been awfully insensitive of him. Viktor had had a right to be angry.

He recalled the look of pure, unadulterated _joy_ on Viktor's face as he'd landed the quad flip at the Grand Prix Final, and the subsequent tight hug that Viktor had given him when they realized he'd broken Viktor's record.

So many different memories of Viktor floated around in his mind, pieces of their life together so far. Viktor beside him as he struggled through an anxiety spell, rubbing his back and whispering to him softly until he was able to calm down. Viktor helping him work through a routine, pointing out the flaws and assisting him as he practiced. Viktor's handsome face as he smiled that stunning smile, pressing a kiss to Yuuri's forehead and whispering _I love you_ in Russian.

He realized with a sinking heart that yes, Viktor _was_ that important. And yes, he _would_ do just about anything, if Viktor wanted him to.

_You're a selfish human being, Katsuki Yuuri._

He wanted to be disgusted with himself, and to a degree, he was. But Viktor was his foundation, his never-wavering support. His coach, his lover. His fiancé. Viktor was _everything_ to him. And if he lost Viktor, because he wanted to keep their baby…

Another tear rolled down his temple and his heart cramped. He didn't think he could bear it.

His hand wandered back to his belly, and he let out a whimper.

_I feel so lost._

He stared blankly up at the ceiling, then closed his eyes miserably.

_What do I do?_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;~; poor baby, he needs a hug...
> 
> Next chapter contains: more tears, perhaps.
> 
> Thank you for the comments so far, they brighten my day more than you'll ever know. ♡


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thank you to Tumblr user @autumn-leaves-falling for the incredibly sweet encouragement. Thank you for motivating me when I least expected it, dear. ♡
> 
> (Psst...when you get to the paragraph beginning with "Viktor drew back...", play [this lovely song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNmtYLhoAcQ) in another tab for extra heartbreak~)

_"Let's not fight; I'm tired, can't we just sleep?"_

_—"Soon We'll Be Found", Sia_

-

Makkachin raised his head and gave a soft whine as Viktor hurried to his door, having to force himself to slow down. It wouldn't help anything if he crashed into Yuuri's room in a panic and scared the daylights out of him. He tiptoed to the door, slid it aside, wincing when the old wood creaked in protest, and slipped through.

 _Quiet, now_. He pulled it shut behind him, blinking in the darkness. He felt his way down the hall as carefully as he could, so as not to wake Yuuri's family. The last thing he wanted to do was run into a vase and shatter it to pieces or something, that would be just his luck...

When he reached Yuuri's room, he lifted his hand to knock, but stopped short. He leaned close to the door, straining his ears.

Soft, muffled weeping drifted through the door, nearly drowned out by the steady rain on the roof.

Viktor closed his stinging eyes and bit his lip, his heart heavy with guilt. Yuuri probably felt so alone.

_And I call myself his fiancé…_

He stood there, hardly daring to breathe, his hand hanging suspended in the air inches away from the door.

_Do I even know what I want?_

In his heart, he knew exactly what he wanted, but it scared him shitless. But if Yuuri didn't...

His hand began to tremble with indecision.

Who was he kidding, Yuuri wouldn't want to keep the baby, he was a figure skater in the prime of his career. It was his life, his passion, his first love. They had been training vigorously for the next season, and Yuuri was so _excited_ for both of them to be skating against each other again.

There was no way Yuuri would want a baby that would prevent that.

Viktor's hand fell slowly, and tears sprang to his eyes. It was incredibly selfish of him to even think of suggesting that Yuuri go through with his pregnancy; not only would it put off his skating career by at least a year, but the pregnancy was already fairly high risk because of his near miscarriage. Potentially dangerous to his health.

...People _died_ from having babies.

 _God, no, don't think that…_ Viktor felt nauseated at the mere thought of losing Yuuri, and he tried so hard to push it out of his mind. Heedless of his efforts, the dark thoughts curled around him like a venomous snake, whispering poisoned words in his ear and raising his heart rate.

_Too many things could go wrong._

_For all either of you know, his body might not even be fully capable of bearing a child._

_He could miscarry for real, and bleed to death._

_Even if he carried the baby to term, he could die in childbirth from complications._

_This isn't a game, Viktor._

_This could kill him._

_You would lose him **forever**._

_If you love him, stop being selfish. He doesn't want your baby._

_He doesn't even need **you**._

His chest felt tight, but he took a deep breath, slowly forcing it out through his lips like he'd seen Yuuri do before to calm down. It gave him a little strength, and he set his jaw, disgusted with himself. _You're being irrational. Just knock on the door._

Nervous energy still writhed around in his torso, but he finally worked up the courage to tap his knuckles lightly on Yuuri's door.

The crying immediately ceased with a gasp.

"Yuuri?" he whispered, but he received no reply.

He rested his palm on the cool wood of the door, hesitating for a few seconds, then spoke again.

"Yuuri, I just want to talk to you." He kept his voice low and imploring, cursing the tears that welled up in his eyes.

The silence from the other side of the door was thick with tension.

With every loud beat of his heart in his eardrums, Viktor grew more nervous. His earlier courage was rapidly leaving him, and he closed his eyes tightly, willing himself not to cry.

"Yuuri, please," he tried not to beg, his voice wobbling, "you're…you're starting to scare me."

The silence stretched for thirty seconds.

A minute.

Viktor's lip trembled. 

_Please don't do this..._

After nearly two minutes of no response, Viktor almost gave up and turned around to head back to his own room, but to his surprise, he heard the soft click of the lock sliding aside.

He held his breath as the door was slid open slowly, revealing half of a rumpled, red-eyed Yuuri in his sleep shirt and loose, flannel pajama pants. Tear tracks glistened on his flushed cheeks. He resembled a scared child, hiding behind his mother's skirt.

It was so disheartening to see, after all of the trust they'd built in the past few months.

"May I come in?" Viktor asked softly, and Yuuri slid the door all the way open. He looked down, hesitant, and gave a faint nod, sniffling and stepping aside to let Viktor in.

Feeling like an intruder as he walked past, Viktor bit his lip nervously.

What in the world could he even say?

He sat down on the twin bed, inviting Yuuri to do the same by patting on the soft peach blanket across from him. Though his posture was reluctant, Yuuri eased down onto the bed, turning to cross his legs and face Viktor, his shoulders slumped as if the weight of the entire world were pressing down on them. The muted light from the streetlights outside the raindrop-sprinkled window glimmered in his hair and played across his face, making his ivory skin appear even paler.

He was quiet for a long time, simply staring down at the bed and fiddling with the ring on his finger, as if he were going over a speech in his head, the shadows from the raindrops on the window trickling down his face. Viktor waited patiently, but Yuuri was silent, looking uncomfortable.

Viktor leaned down into his line of vision, forcing Yuuri to look into his eyes, and Yuuri seemed to freeze. Taking a chance, Viktor cautiously reached out and touched his cheek, but to his shock, Yuuri flinched and pulled back out of his reach.

A pang of hurt struck Viktor's heart, and he let his hand slowly fall.

_He doesn't even want me to touch him…?_

Yuuri seemed to realize what he'd just done, because his eyes had gone wide, and he looked away, his cheeks scarlet with shame.

Viktor opened his mouth to speak, but Yuuri beat him to it, his soft voice finally breaking the silence.

"Viktor, I…" Yuuri took off his glasses and set them down on the dresser, rubbing the tears from his cheeks with his knuckles. "I know you're upset." He sniffled again, letting out a deep, shuddering breath. "This isn't something I knew could still happen, believe me." His hand drifted down to his belly, almost as if he wasn't aware he was doing it. Another tear glinted as it tracked a path down one cheek, and Yuuri brushed it away with his thumb, his brows furrowed over his closed eyes. "I…I'm so sorry."

Viktor's heart clenched at the dejection in his voice. "Yuuri..."

Yuuri continued as if he hadn't heard his interruption, though his voice was growing tight with supressed emotion. "So I-I've…decided. That if you…if you don't want the baby, we don't have to keep it." His fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt over his belly, badly disguised despair plain on his face.

Viktor's eyes widened and his mouth fell open.

_What?_

Yuuri looked so miserable, pursing his trembling lips in an obvious effort not to break down, and his expression of forced acceptance made Viktor want to cry.

_Oh..._

Yuuri thought that he didn't want the baby.

Viktor's eyes smarted and his throat ached fiercely.

"Yuuri—" his voice cracked, and he swallowed around the lump in his throat. "You…you think I want you to get an abortion?" His voice was soft and wounded, but he couldn't help it.

Yuuri finally looked up, meeting his eyes timidly. A confused crease appeared between his brows, and his hesitant silence told Viktor all he needed to know.

"Why?" He pressed desperately. Something like betrayal stung his heart.

"You…Viktor, I...you were mad at me, at the doctor," His voice quivered.

Viktor blinked confusedly. "Yuuri, no, I wasn't, why…?" He faltered, and Yuuri's voice rose high over his own in anger, cutting him off.

"You wouldn't even look at me, Viktor, what was I supposed to think?"

"Yuuri—"

"You looked so upset with me, you barely said a word to me! I don't understand," He was crying in earnest now, tears slipping down his cheeks rapidly. "Why did you shut me out like that?"

Viktor's mouth fell open. "Me, shut _you_ out?" He knew he was getting worked up, that he should stop talking, but the words poured out. "Yuuri, how could you say that and actually believe it? You pushed me away when I tried to hold you! I've tried so hard to get you to let me in!" His voice broke and a tear trickled down his cheek, and he brushed it away angrily. "I've knocked on your door multiple times, your family has done the same! Even _Yuri_ is worried about you! I tried to talk to you in the hall, and you wouldn't let me! You are the one shutting _us_ out!"

"I'm _fucking scared, okay?!"_ Yuuri half-yelled, his face contorted in a mixture of terror and anger.

Viktor drew back as if he'd been slapped.

Yuuri had never cursed at him before.

Yuuri's chest rose and fell rapidly, and he looked away, closing his eyes tightly and stifling his sobs.

"I...I'm scared." He repeated, his voice softer, defeated.

There was a stretch of painful silence.

"And you think that I'm not?" Viktor finally whispered, his chest feeling strangely numb.

Yuuri dragged his gaze back to Viktor's, his eyebrows furrowed. He blinked wordlessly, his expression growing less angry and more sad.

"Yuuri, I'm scared, too. But do you really think that I would...would force you to kill our child if you want to keep it?" The words tasted bitter, and Viktor almost couldn't bring himself to even say them.

Yuuri froze.

He looked like an animal caught in a trap.

"I...I…"

In the resulting stunned silence, it smacked Viktor full in the face what he'd just said.

More importantly, the fact that Yuuri hadn't immediately denied wanting to keep the baby. 

Viktor took a deep, steadying breath, deciding to go out on a limb and praying that he wasn't wrong.

"Do you want to keep the baby?" He asked quietly.

Yuuri's watery eyes slowly grew wide, and he looked completely taken aback. "I..." He covered his mouth and another tear fell down his cheek. His breath came in shallow hiccups, and something hopeful brightened in his eyes.

"Yuuri?" Viktor tried again, and Yuuri closed his eyes tightly.

"I don't know, I...I think I might," he sobbed out, his voice muffled by his hand.

"Oh, Yuuri…" Viktor murmured brokenly. He reached out very slowly, and when Yuuri didn't flinch away again, he gently pulled him to his chest.

Yuuri twitched as if the embrace had startled him, then slowly, weakly, he slid arms around Viktor's waist and dissolved into tears, stifling his voice and obviously trying to be quiet so he wouldn't wake the whole house. He clung to Viktor like he was his last lifeline, his chest shaking with the force of his quiet, panting sobs.

"Yuuri, why," Viktor began, but Yuuri cut him off again, whimpering the words against his chest and shaking his head.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just…I don't think I can get rid of it, Viktor, it's my _baby_ ," Yuuri wept softly against the robe, his voice weak and pleading, "I don't think I could l-live with myself if I...i-it's so tiny and h-helpless, I'm the only one it has, I can't do it, I just _can't_..."

Viktor fought back tears, pressing his cheek against Yuuri's temple.

"Shhh, Yuuri," he whispered into the soft black hair, combing his fingers through the silky strands, "Calm down, it's okay…" he pressed a soft kiss to his hair. "I was going to say, why didn't you tell me sooner?" He tried to keep the hurt out of his voice, but didn't succeed.

"I-I thought you would hate me, I thought you didn't want it." Yuuri's hoarse whisper was so full of anguish that Viktor's face crumbled, a tear escaping his pale lashes and falling down his cheek.

"Oh, _Yuuri_ ," he wavered again, "No matter what happens, I could never, ever hate you. I _love_ you." He could barely get the words out, his throat was so tight. The fact that Yuuri had genuinely thought that Viktor would force him to get an abortion made him feel sick to his stomach.

Yuuri sobbed something unintelligible into his chest, and Viktor tightened his arms around him, burying his face in Yuuri's neck and, at long last, fully letting himself break down.

"I'm sorry," he managed through his stifled sobs, hot tears spilling down his face, "I'm so sorry…"

Yuuri only hugged him tighter.

Viktor had no idea how long they cried. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours. They clung to each other, pouring out all of the tension, the confusion, the helplessness they'd felt over the last two days, tearing down the emotional wall they'd mutually built. The stifling guilt, sadness, and doubt that had weighed so heavily on Viktor's shoulders lifted slightly, and by the time their tears began to wind down, he felt lighter. Cleaner. Like the tears had washed away some of his pain.

Viktor sniffled hard, pulling back slightly and taking Yuuri's face in his hands. He softly kissed his wet cheeks, tasting the salt in his tears.

"I can't be upset with you about this, Yuuri." He rested his forehead against Yuuri's, looking into his sad eyes. "You had no idea you could still conceive, and that's not your fault. I would never make you abort if you don't want to." His voice was nasally and thick from crying, and he would probably have a headache later.

Yuuri gave a wet sniffle, breathing shakily, and reached up to wipe the moisture from Viktor's face, brushing his silver bangs out of his eye and tucking the locks behind his ear. Viktor leaned into the touch; he'd sorely missed the feeling of Yuuri's soft fingers on his face.

"I know, I-I just thought…you might n-not want to stay with me, if I wanted to keep it, and that was holding me back." Yuuri said the words like they physically pained him.

"I'd never do that. I could never abandon you to deal with this alone, no matter how frightened I am," Viktor tried his best not to make it sound like a reprimand, but some of it slipped through anyway. "We're in this together." He cradled Yuuri's cheek with one hand and stroked the pad of his thumb over his cheekbone, catching another drop as it fell.

"I'm...I'm so sorry, Viktor. I shouldn't have assumed…I should have just talked to you," Yuuri whispered, ashamed, and Viktor pressed another kiss to his forehead with trembling lips.

"I'm sorry, too. I should have never given you reason to assume in the first place. Please, forgive me."

Yuuri gave him another tight hug, and Viktor nuzzled his neck, breathing in the familiar, comforting scent of Yuuri's skin. It was like a balm to his injured heart, cool and soothing and everything _home_.

"I love you," he whispered thickly.

Yuuri leaned back far enough to press a soft kiss to his lips, and Viktor nearly started crying again at how sweet it was. Yuuri's flushed, slightly chapped lips kissed him over and over, on his mouth, the corner of his lips, his brow, his cheek, healing touches that Viktor had been craving and hadn't even known it. He cradled Yuuri's tearstained face with both hands, kissing him long and slow and searing, pouring wordless apologies into the loving contact. Yuuri's fervent moan against his lips sent a shudder down his spine.

Oh, how he'd _missed this._

They dragged it out as long as they possibly could, and Yuuri finally drew back with a sharp intake of breath when they both started getting lightheaded, panting and still sniffling.

"I love you too, Viktor, s-so much," he stammered tearfully as he nestled closer to Viktor's chest, and Viktor held him and rubbed up and down his warm back, tracing the graceful curve of his spine through his shirt.

He felt almost dizzy with relief.

There was a beat of comfortable silence, then Yuuri spoke again, very quietly.

"Viktor?"

"Yes?"

"…we have a baby." Yuuri's voice was a cross between wonder and fear. "There's a baby in my belly."

Viktor leaned back and saw that Yuuri's rich brown eyes were full of trepidation.

"Yes, there is," he replied softly, tracing one dark, thick eyebrow with his thumb. _So pretty_.

Yuuri blinked, leaning into his hand. He looked so timid as he spoke his next words.

"What if...we kept it? Would you b-be okay with it...?"

Viktor chose his next words _very_ carefully.

"Again, I will not lie to you, Yuuri. I'm scared." Viktor looked down in shame, his face burning. "It sounds so…cowardly and shallow when I say it out loud, but it's the truth. Having a child is a huge responsibility, a frightening one. It's a lifelong commitment."

Yuuri just took his hand, tracing the lines on his palm and patiently waiting for him to continue.

"Not only that, but this is dangerous. Your body is weakened right now, and if you don't rest, you could miscarry again. It could...seriously hurt you." The lump returned to Viktor's throat, and he swallowed back more tears. He felt Yuuri's fingers thread through his own.

"I know, but," Yuuri wet his lips, looking conflicted. "I'd never forgive myself if I let that be my excuse. It wouldn't be fair. If I'm careful, I'll be okay."

"I just don't know if I could stand it if something terrible happened to you." Viktor bit his lip, and Yuuri squeezed his hand.

"It won't."

"What if it does?" Viktor whispered, tearing up again, and Yuuri took his face in his hands, drawing Viktor's eyes up to his own. Something between fear and determination burned in the brown irises, and his next words were firm even though they trembled.

"We'll just pray that it doesn't."

Viktor gave a resigned smile, reaching up to stroke one of the hands on his cheeks. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly and closing his eyes. "I'm not…well...I don't know how good of a father I'll be, Yuuri."

"I'm with you there," Yuuri smiled weakly.

"It's a big job, and I don't know if I'll be cut out for it, but..." Viktor reached down, lightly touching Yuuri's belly with his fingertips, and his eyes softened, something vaguely protective welling up in him. "Despite all of that, I'm like you. I can't imagine getting rid of our baby."

Yuuri looked like he wanted to cry again.

"Really?" His voice was so soft, so disbelieving.

Viktor nodded. "Really."

"Y-You want to keep the baby?"

He took a deep breath again. "Yes." The word felt right in his mouth.

Yuuri gave a half-sigh, half-sob and held a hand to his chest, closing his eyes in relief. His fingers gently intertwined with Viktor's, pressed against his flat stomach. A couple more tears fell down his cheeks, and Viktor tenderly kissed them away.

Yuuri finally drew in a breath, letting it out slowly and wiping his cheeks. "I'm so sorry that I've shut you out." He sniffled and ducked his head, looking up at Viktor apologetically. "I was just so scared. You were so quiet the other day, I-I thought you were pissed at me for getting pregnant."

Viktor berated himself inwardly, not for the last time. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I was never angry at all, just…surprised." What a massive understatement.

Yuuri nodded, fidgeting with the hem of his pajama pants. "I was, too. I just didn't want you to think I've…I don't know, lied to you, or…tricked you into…anything…" his voice trailed off, and even he seemed to realize how ridiculous it sounded, his cheeks coloring.

Viktor gave him a deadpan look. "Yuuri, you are the most terrible liar I've ever met. There's no way you could have done that." A rueful smile turned up one corner of Viktor's lips, and he dropped a placating kiss on the bridge of Yuuri's nose. "No offense."

Yuuri winced, but smiled. "None taken." He got quiet for a minute, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. "So…we're…I guess we're going to be parents." His voice trembled, and he let out a nervous, slightly crazy chuckle. "God, I'm terrified."

"I am, too," Viktor huffed a quiet laugh. "The idea will definitely take some getting used to, and a lot of things will change." He sobered. "Of course, the most obvious is that you won't be able to skate for a while."

Yuuri's face fell. They had been training so hard, and the beginning of the skating season was only a few months away. The disappointment was evident on his face, but he nodded.

"I've thought about it. I think I want to continue skating next year, after I have the baby." A gentle smile crossed his face. "I still owe you a gold medal, after all."

Viktor laughed. "Yes, you do. And I'll hold you to that." He patted Yuuri's knee.

"Also, I don't want you to sit out this season because of me." Yuuri's face was serious. "Please, go ahead and skate. You've worked so hard, and you deserve to compete."

"Well…" Viktor frowned, and Yuuri took his hand.

"Please, Viktor. It would mean a lot to me."

Viktor felt a little unsettled at the thought of skating the season while Yuuri dealt with a pregnancy, but he mulled the thought over in his head. He'd still be able to be with him for the majority of it, even if he did skate. "We'll see. I'll seriously consider it." 

"Good." Yuuri let out a sigh, slipping his glasses back on his face. His expression grew thoughtful. "I wonder when I'll start showing." He looked down at his belly. "It's so hard to believe that there's a baby in there." He lifted his shirt and splayed his fingers on his stomach, and Viktor's heart fluttered at the hesitant awe slowly beginning to shine in Yuuri's brown eyes. "You can't even see it, I'm still so flat…"

Viktor brushed his fingers over Yuuri's hand on top of his belly. "It won't be flat for long. You'll get bigger." Once again, the mental image of Yuuri with a baby bump brought a smile to his face.

Yuuri nodded, flushing and looking a bit embarrassed. "It's going to be so strange…." His eyes suddenly widened. "What…oh. What are we going to tell everyone? What will they—oh, God, Phichit's gonna have _kittens!_ " Yuuri clutched his hair with both hands, and Viktor couldn't help but laugh.

"We'll tell them you're expecting a baby, of course, silly. What else would we tell them?"

Yuuri pulled on Viktor's cheek and Viktor whined dramatically. "You know what I mean! My parents are already so worried about me. They're gonna freak!" He was actually sounding worried now.

Viktor rubbed his stinging cheek. "No, they're going to be surprised, then they'll be happy for you! Your parents are good people, Yuuri. They'll be overjoyed to have a grandchild. And Mari will have a little niece or nephew." She would make a good aunt. "You know Phichit is going to be absolutely beside himself with happiness. Yuri, though, he'll most likely be miffed that you're sitting out for a season." Viktor chuckled. "He enjoys competing against you, even though he'd jump off of a cliff before he admitted it. But I think he'll be okay once you explain that you intend to keep skating."

Yuri had also attempted, rather awkwardly, to talk to Yuuri to no avail earlier that day. He was genuinely worried, bless his angry little heart.

"Probably." Yuuri gulped. "Minako-sensei may kill me."

"Oh, I doubt it," Viktor said mildly, "she's not as scary as you make her out to be, I don't think."

A nervous smile tugged on Yuuri's lips. "You've never taken her dance class." They both laughed softly, and Yuuri looked pensive for a moment. "Maybe we should, um…well, I'm on bed rest and everything, so we need to at least tell some people in a few days. Kaa-san and tou-san and Mari and Yuri, and maybe the Nishigoris. If we don't, they'll be worried that I'm seriously sick or something." He paused. "But, maybe we should wait longer to tell everyone else, like Phichit and Chris, and the others. Just to make sure that the baby's completely out of danger."

"I think that's a wise idea." It would give them time to come up with exactly what to say. Viktor knew that Yakov, at the very least, was going to be disappointed in both of them, and he didn't feel the need to mention that the media was going to lose their shit. They would cross that bridge when they came to it.

Yuuri looked down at his stomach again, covering it with one hand. "I know this is scary, and our lives are going to be crazy for a while, but, I…I almost want to be excited."

Viktor couldn't help but feel warm affection as he watched Yuuri gently rub his abdomen. His eyes were no longer dull with sadness, and though there was still apprehension in them, he already looked much happier.

A tiny smile tugged at Viktor's lips.

"Me, too."

He had a feeling Yuuri would be a wonderful parent.

They talked for a while, daydreaming, planning, just enjoying being near each other. The mutual silence between them had been unbearable, so different from their normally open communication, and while there was still a little hesitation and awkwardness, they were both so glad that it had been broken.

Viktor soon noticed Yuuri's eyelids drooping and glanced at the clock. "We need to go to bed and get some sleep. It's nearly four in the morning." He patted Yuuri on the arm, and he started, blinking blearily. "Do you want to sleep here, or in my room?"

"Your room, if it's okay," Yuuri yawned, "your bed is more comfortable. And Makkachin will be lonely if we don't go back."

Viktor smiled. Yuuri loved Makka so much.

He pulled Yuuri into a standing position, and before Yuuri could protest, he slipped his arms behind Yuuri's back and knees, scooping him into his arms easily. Yuuri squeaked and blushed even in his sleepiness, resting one hand against Viktor's chest and snuggling his flushed face into the robe.

"You didn't have to carry me," Yuuri mumbled, but Viktor heard the tired rasp in his voice, and it was understandable. Between being newly pregnant and all of the emotional stress he'd been through in the last couple of days, he had to be completely exhausted. It was evident from the shadows beneath his weary brown eyes.

Viktor pressed a kiss to the top of Yuuri's dark locks. "Nonsense. Like you said, you're on bed rest."

"Mm…"

He smiled softly. Yuuri had already dozed off.

As he slowly walked back to his own room carrying his sleeping fiancé, something suddenly occured to him.

He was holding both Yuuri and their tiny, unborn baby in his arms.

_Wow…_

His eyes blinked as he processed it, and a gentle smile gradually spread across his face.

_We're going to have a baby._

For the first time, he felt genuinely  _excited_ about it.

He eased the door aside with his foot, and Makkachin met him there, happily snuffling around and nudging Yuuri's dangling feet with his nose. Viktor hoisted him up further after sliding the door shut, padded to the bed, and carefully laid his groggy fiancé on the soft surface.

Yuuri immediately turned on his side, his preferred sleeping position, and buried his cheek in the pillow with a long, sleepy sigh. Viktor's eyes softened, and he reached down and gently slid the glasses off of Yuuri's face, folding them and setting them on the night stand. Yuuri's expression was smoothed out, worry-free in his light sleep, and it made Viktor's heart glad. He leaned down, brushing Yuuri's bangs off of his forehead and stroking down his soft cheek with the back of his knuckles.

_Thank you for letting me in._

As Viktor pulled the sheets and comforter up to Yuuri's hips, he paused for a moment, leaving his belly uncovered. He knelt down and carefully pulled the shirt up, gazing at Yuuri's smooth, pale stomach.

With trembling fingers, he reached to ever so lightly touch the warm skin.

Their tiny baby was centimeters away from his hand, safe and sound inside of Yuuri's womb. So very close.

He hesitated for a moment, then smiled tenderly. Leaning forward, he dropped a kiss on the soft skin, then crawled into bed behind Yuuri, the exhaustion of not sleeping for too long finally beginning to catch up to him as well. He snuggled up to Yuuri's warm back, burying his nose in his neck and draping one arm over him, and he felt Yuuri stir and loosely thread their fingers together over his belly.

 _"Oyasumi,"_ Yuuri slurred, already drifting off again. He was so out of it that he'd reverted to Japanese, and it made Viktor smile.

Viktor lightly rubbed his thumb over the back of Yuuri's hand. " _Spokoynoy nochi_ ," he whispered back, and he felt and heard Makkachin jump up onto the bed, snuggling contentedly down at their feet.

The rain softly pattering on the roof didn't seem depressing anymore; now it seemed cozy and relaxing.

Viktor was still scared.

He still didn't know how good of a father he would be.

Things would be hard in the coming weeks and months, and a multitude of things were uncertain, but…

…for right now, with his little family safely tucked in his arms, everything was as it should be.

For the first time in over a day, he slept peacefully, comforted by the rain and the warmth of Yuuri against him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :')
> 
> They both said "good night" to each other in their respective languages. If either is wrong, I apologize, and please correct me ;;
> 
> Updates may get a little bit slower from here on out, as much as that pains me. I'm back in school and that eats up a lot of my time, and I hate it, but I can't help it. Rest assured, I will update whenever I possibly can. ♡
> 
> Thank you all so much for the encouragement thus far! :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I don't update as often as I did at first ;;;;;

_9 weeks, 6 days_

 

"…iktor…ake up, you old geezer! Are you dead in there?"

Furious pounding outside his door abruptly yanked Viktor from a deep sleep, and he raised his heavy head and looked around, confused and disoriented, his vision blurry. Hazy yellow light streamed through the curtains, causing him to blink rapidly and squint. A bleary glance at the clock told him that it was seven a.m.

"I'm about to come in there if you don't answer me, and you'd better not be naked like last time!" The loud voice banged on his eardrums again, and he cringed at the volume.

Yuri. Why in God's name was he even awake this early? He normally slept much longer than this. Unless it was a training day, they couldn't get him out of bed until at least eleven.

Viktor groaned into his pillow, rolling over and moving to pull the covers over his head, but he stopped short and blinked, puzzled.

Yuuri's side of the bed was empty. The sheets and comforter were rumpled and his pillow was askew, as if the covers had been thrown aside in great haste.

"Viktor, seriously," Yuri's voice started to sound less angry and more desperate. "Katsudon is puking his guts up in the bathroom."

 _Oh, no…_ Viktor's pulse automatically jumped up a few notches, and he had to force himself to calm down. This was perfectly normal. Yuuri was okay, just a little sick because of the baby again.

He pushed himself up and off of the bed with a huff, shrugging into his robe and shaking his head to clear away the haze of sleep that still clung to him. Makkachin dozed blissfully away at the end of the bed, completely ignoring the insistent knocking. An amused smile tugged on Viktor's lips; even Makkachin had gotten used to Yuri being a drama queen.

Rubbing his eyes with one hand, Viktor strode to the door and wrenched it aside, and Yuri nearly fell in. He reached out to steady him as he regained his balance.

"Christ, old man, do you need a hearing aid?" Yuri said incredulously, and Viktor scowled down at the teen as he swept past him.

"Actually, I was just ignoring you until you mentioned Yuuri," he tossed over his shoulder airily, and he heard a snort.

"I'm touched," Yuri needled, "you're not usually this chipper in the mornings." Viktor waved his hand without turning around.

"So I'm not a morning person, sue me."

When he reached the bathroom, he heard harsh dry heaving from inside, and he suppressed a wince as his stomach reflexively turned at the sound. He waited a moment for the noises to abate, then tapped on the door lightly.

"Yuuri, do you need me to bring you anything?" He called softly, and he was answered by a weak, panting sob, then Yuuri's voice, thin and scratchy.

"No, it's winding down."

Viktor was saddened. _Poor thing, he sounds awful..._

"Are you sure? I could bring you a glass of water," he suggested, feeling a little helpless.

Yuuri let out a few feeble coughs. "I have a paper cup in here that I can use, but thank you."

Viktor hesitated, but didn't press him. "…okay…I'll be in the kitchen, then. Feel better soon." He kept his hand on the door for a moment more before reluctantly tearing himself away. Yuuri would be fine, of course, but it still made him feel bad. He wished he could help.

The kitchen was empty save for Mari, who was sitting at the kotatsu in her robe and slippers, nursing a cup of coffee and looking only about half awake. She wasn't much of a morning person, either, from what Viktor had seen. She nodded at him sleepily as he walked in, and he politely returned it, then glanced at the teapot. Maybe some tea would help settle Yuuri's stomach…

"Mari, is there any herbal tea here, spearmint, perhaps? Yuuri isn't feeling well," he asked, feeling weirdly apologetic. He still didn't quite know how to act around Mari, even though she seemed to be fairly laid back. Something about her was a little intimidating somehow.

She nodded, her dusty brown eyes half-lidded, gesturing vaguely with her coffee cup. "Second cabinet to the right of the sink, above the coffee maker," she mumbled, her voice raspy from sleep.

Viktor quickly found the tea, but he struggled to read the Japanese instructions. He could read katakana and hiragana fairly well, but when kanji were thrown in, he usually started getting a bit confused. _Evidently, I need to do more studying…_ He finally figured out how long to brew it and how much water to use, and soon the teapot was steaming away on the stove.

He could feel Mari's eyes on his back, watching him as he poured himself a cup of coffee. When he turned around and leaned his hip on the countertop, she was wearing a lopsided smile, and as usual, something unreadable danced in her eyes.

"You're a good kid. Thanks for looking out for him."

Viktor slowly took a sip of coffee, trying his best not to look as incredibly guilty as he felt.

He wondered if she'd still be saying that if she knew he'd planted a baby in her little brother.

They were planning on telling Yuuri's family in the next few days, so she would find out soon enough, but it was enough to make Viktor feel like he was walking on eggshells any time he was in the same room as any of Yuuri's family.

Not feeling the need to reply, he simply nodded and gave a cautious smile, and they fell into a slightly awkward silence punctuated by the soft bubbling of the steeping tea.

Even though she wasn't looking directly at him, the feeling of scrutiny still didn't go away.

Surprisingly, Yuri toddled into the room, holding an elastic band in his mouth and gathering his sleep-ruffled hair into his hands.

"Morning," Mari greeted him, and he made a grumpy sound, arranging his hair into a messy bun at the back of his head. He rolled up the sleeves of his sweatshirt and bumped Viktor out of the way of the coffee machine with his hip, grabbing a mug and filling it with coffee.

"Not a very good one," he muttered, giving Viktor a cutting, sideways glance full of annoyance. "Getting woken up by the sound of upchucking from the next room over isn't the most pleasant experience. Almost made _me_ feel sick. I couldn't even go back to sleep."

Out of the corner of his eye, Viktor noticed Mari's hand still on her coffee cup, and her gaze darted to him. His heart sped up, and he hoped that Yuri would stop talking.

He didn't, of course.

"What's wrong with him, anyway? He's been throwing up every fucking day for a week." Yuri set the coffee kettle back down and picked up his steaming mug.

Viktor pursed his lips. "Language, _kotyonok_."

Yuri paused, narrowing his eyes angrily. "Don't call me that." He took a sip of coffee, and his nose wrinkled. He dumped a couple of spoonfuls of sugar into it. "Now what's wrong with him?"

"Coffee stunts your growth, you know," Viktor wheedled, desperately trying to change the subject.

"Viktor."

_Shit._

When he met Yuri's jade green eyes, they were hard, glinting with something that could have been worry.

 _You'll have to tell them eventually_ , a singsong, inward whisper caressed Viktor's ear, and he shoved it away.

Not yet. Not without Yuuri.

When he didn't respond, Yuri made a 'tch' sound and took a gulp of his coffee. "Forget it. If it's that much of a secret, let him be sick, for all I care. But it had better not get in the way of him competing."

Viktor closed his eyes briefly, then gave Yuri a smile that felt incredibly fake.

"He'll be fine, Yura. He's just...got a stomach bug."

Yuri scowled and seemed like he wanted to say more, but he didn't. His expression of blatant distrust said enough.

Soft, barefooted footsteps came down the hall, and Yuuri appeared in the doorway, looking pale and drawn and out of breath. Viktor couldn't keep the worried furrow off of his brow.

"Feeling any better?"

Yuuri nodded faintly, but he was obviously worn out, shaky on his feet. His face was lined with exhaustion, his complexion pallid and grey. Yuri regarded him with open suspicion, but simply drained his coffee cup and thunked it down in the sink.

"You'd better not get me sick, pig," he warned in a scathing mutter. He left the room with a murderous glance backward, and Viktor tried his damndest not to deflate in relief.

"He's awfully cheerful this morning," Yuuri noted hoarsely, steadying himself with one hand on the wall. Mari chuckled behind her mug.

Viktor reached out to Yuuri as he walked over, giving his hand a squeeze, and he was a little disconcerted by how cold and clammy it was. "I'm making tea. You need to try to drink some, if you can. Don't want you to get dehydrated." He reached to tuck an errant chunk of hair behind Yuuri's ear, noticing the light sheen of sweat still glittering on his brow.

Yuuri nodded again, but from his uneasy expression, Viktor could tell that the thought of food or drink was far from pleasant to him.

As if a switch had been flipped, two days after they'd decided to keep the baby, the morning sickness had hit Yuuri like a runaway truck. More often than not, his mornings began with a mad scramble for the bathroom, and sometimes, on top of that, he'd get sick again later in the day. He had already lost several pounds, but a concerned call to the hospital had informed them that it was fairly normal when morning sickness was first starting out and still happened frequently. The friendly nurse they had spoken to had assured them that Yuuri would regain his appetite in a few weeks.

Viktor was ready for it to be over. It was hard to watch Yuuri feel so horrible and be unable to take it away. He just had to helplessly stand by while Yuuri battled the sickness from day to day.

Pouring some tea into a ceramic mug he'd found, Viktor held it out to Yuuri, who took it and gave it a hesitant sniff.

"Spearmint?" He asked, looking slightly less apprehensive.

"Mm."

He gave a weary smile. "Thank you," he rasped, sitting down at the kotatsu and tucking his legs underneath himself. He sipped the tea hesitantly, being careful not to drink it too fast, and Viktor eased down next to him, setting down his coffee cup and sticking his hands underneath the kotatsu's warm, heavy quilt.

"You're very welcome."

The three sat in companionable silence, enjoying the quiet. Early summer was a slow season for the onsen; as it got warmer, there would be fewer and fewer guests. The traffic would slow for the summer, then when fall came, there would be many more patrons, and even more in the winter. It was nice to enjoy the peace and quiet for a change.

As they had breakfast, Viktor couldn't help but feel jumpy. Mari kept looking between both of them as they talked, her expression guarded and suspicious. Especially when Yuuri declined the offer of food, since he was still feeling nauseated; her face slowly went blank and pensive, as if she had just had an epiphany, but she said nothing, only observed.

It made Viktor very, very nervous.

A couple of times, she opened her mouth and drew in a breath, like she was about to speak, but seemed to stop herself with a frown and sipped her coffee without a word.

He had a feeling she had guessed. Mari didn't say much, but she was scarily perceptive.

When Yuuri got up to go take a shower, she silently watched him leave, a small crease appearing between her brows. She turned back to look at Viktor, and he met her eyes warily, feeling about two inches tall under her intense gaze and unconsciously holding his breath.

She searched his face for a while, then let out a sigh, lowering her eyes. She stood up and took her mug to the sink, and when she passed back by him to walk out of the room, she patted him on the shoulder.

"Take care of my baby brother, okay?" She asked quietly, and Viktor hesitated, then nodded.

"I…I'm trying," he replied weakly. He decided to leave it at that, and hoped that she understood what he meant.

Her hand lingered on his shoulder for a moment, then she gave him a light squeeze and let go. "You're doing just fine." She gave a closed-mouth smile, but it felt a little…sad? Worried? That weird, unidentifiable _something_ was lingering behind her eyes again. Unlike Yuuri, who often wore his heart on his sleeve, Mari was almost impossible to read sometimes. Viktor made a mental note to never play poker with her.

She paused for a moment as she left the room, keeping one hand on the doorway. Turning her head to look at him, her lips parted for a moment, but then she pursed her lips instead and walked away.

Viktor waited until her footsteps died away, then closed his eyes and exhaled shakily. He leaned his elbows on the kotatsu and covered his face, resigned worry welling up in his chest.

She _knew_. There was no way she didn't.

He just hoped that she would refrain from telling Yuuri's parents.

After thinking it, he immediately shook his head. Mari wouldn't do that. She'd let them tell them in their own time. He was sure of it.

And as much as both of them were dreading it, that needed to be soon.

 

-

 

Telling your parents you wanted to be a figure skater was a harrowing task.

When he was growing up, there had been a sort of silent expectation that Yuuri would be a business owner, like his parents, perhaps that he would even take over the management of the onsen from them when he grew older. He hadn't wanted to tell them his career choice when he was younger, fearing that his parents would disagree, or even be angry.

They had, understandably, been a little confused. However, after a thoughtful discussion, they had agreed, and while neither of them knew much about figure skating, they had still supported him wholeheartedly, and still did to this day.

Telling your parents that you were pregnant with your coach's baby? An _entirely_ different matter.

"They're going to be so disappointed in me," Yuuri whispered as he and Viktor sat on their bed that evening after dinner. They had had a long discussion, and had finally decided to go ahead and come clean. He was trying so hard to work up the courage to go get his parents and Mari and Yuri, but he knew it was going to be difficult.

In a few minutes, they would know everything. And he was terrified.

What if it ended badly? Would they approve? He knew that his parents liked Viktor for the most part, but he had no idea how they would take _this_. It would be a huge shock. For all they knew, he couldn't get pregnant at all.

Viktor rubbed his back comfortingly, his fingertips warm through the fabric of his shirt. "They deserve to know, Yuuri," he said gently, "they've been terribly worried about you, especially your mother. We can't tell them that it's just a normal stomach virus forever. Mari is already suspicious, and Yuri cornered me this morning and almost wouldn't let me go." He pressed a soft kiss to Yuuri's temple. "We need to tell them, it would take a lot of stress off of you. You're supposed to be avoiding stress right now for the baby, remember?"

Yuuri sighed. "You're right," he groaned, rubbing one eye underneath his glasses, "I just…I don't know how they'll react." His mother and father were fairly traditional, as far as he knew.

"It will be okay. No matter what happens, I'll be right here with you," Viktor murmured. He turned Yuuri's head with a light touch on his chin and kissed his lips briefly, and Yuuri closed his eyes, savoring the sweet warmth. He gave a shuddering sigh when they separated.

"Will you go get them and bring them in here? I don't want anyone else to hear..."

"Of course." Viktor rose from the bed, briefly squeezing Yuuri's hand before he let go. "I'll be right back, okay?" Yuuri nodded faintly, and Viktor left the room with a concerned backward glance, pulling the door shut behind him.

Anxiety twisted around in Yuuri's stomach. He leaned back against the pillows, trying to stop shaking. The old, familiar panic was beginning to build inside his chest and throat, making him feel like crying.

He was so ready for this this be over with.

Makkachin, now awake when he'd previously been asleep at the foot of the bed, nosed his way underneath one of Yuuri's arms, sniffing his shirt and licking his cheek. Yuuri couldn't help but smile, reaching up to fondle the poodle's fluffy ears, and Makkachin leaned into his touch, closing his eyes and snuggling close to Yuuri's chest.

"Sweet boy," he whispered. Makkachin raised his head and blinked at him with a whine, as if to say 'why are you so sad?' Yuuri pressed a kiss to the top of the dog's head, burying his cheeks and fingers in his warm fur, and his poofy tail thumped contentedly against the bed.

He briefly wondered how Makkachin would react to the baby. The poodle had a very laid back disposition, and from what Yuuri had seen of his interactions with Axel, Lutz, and Loop, he was good with children. 

He could hear the voices approaching from down the hall outside. Oh, no, his mother already sounded alarmed...

His throat bobbed as he gulped, hugging Makkachin tighter as if it would give him strength.

If he made it through this without crying his eyes out or vomiting on the floor, he would be astonished.

When the door slid aside, he sat up, and before he could blink, his mother was in front of him, her cool, soft hands cupping his cheeks and her brown eyes searching his face.

"Yuuri, honey, what's wrong," she pleaded.

Yuuri reached up to take her hands, gently pulling them away from his face. Dread pounded in his chest as he looked up at her worried expression. Makkachin just laid over his lap and settled down, as if silently giving his support.

"Kaa-san…" he looked up at his father, who also looked concerned. "Tou-san…Mari, Yuri," he glanced at the two, and while Yuri's blond brows were furrowed in mild confusion, Mari had a knowing glint in her eye.

He looked down guiltily, avoiding her eyes. It was the same look she'd always given him when they were little and she knew he was lying. Viktor had been right; she had probably guessed.

Viktor sat down next to him on the bed, rubbing his knee, silently encouraging him to speak.

He opened his mouth, but the words lodged in his throat.

_What if they hate you?_

_What if they disown you?_

_What if they kick you out?_

The irrational thoughts pecked insistantly at his mind, and he closed his mouth and swallowed, biting his lip.

Viktor took the initiative and spoke instead, addressing the four. "We know that you've all been worried about Yuuri these past few days, and we're very sorry we haven't come to you sooner. We have something important to tell you."

"Why 'we'?" Yuri raised an eyebrow.

"Y-You might want to sit down, kaa-san," Yuuri suggested weakly. She and his father exchanged a glance.

"Are you sick, son?" His father asked quietly, and his mother's eyebrows immediately shot up and she covered her mouth, but Yuuri waved his hands in front of him hastily, shaking his head.

"No, no, I'm not...well…not really, but…" he bit his lip, feeling a bit nauseated at what he had to say next. He felt Viktor's hand slip into his own and lace their fingers together, and it gave him strength. He raised his eyes to look at his parents, his sister, and Yuri.

"I…I'm…"

Tears sprang up in his eyes, and he closed them tightly against the onslaught of negativity in his mind, forcing the words out before he could chicken out.

"I'm…Viktor and I, we're…g-going to have a baby. I'm pregnant."

The room was so silent that he could hear his heartbeat in his ears. Each thud seemed to shake his chest.

When no one said anything, he opened his eyes, expecting to see disappointment, maybe even anger on his parents' faces.

His mother's eyes were shining with tears, and even his father looked a little misty. Mari wore a gentle, knowing smile, full of quiet pride. Yuri's eyes were slowly darkening, but his face was sympathetic.

"Oh, Yuuri," his mother whispered, sitting on the bed on the opposite side from Viktor and pulling him close to her. He wrapped his arms around her, clinging to her and blinking away tears, surprised by the gesture. "Are you sure?" He nodded against her shoulder, and she petted the back of his head. "My sweet boy…no wonder you've been so sick…" a stifled sob left his lips, and she rubbed his back, rocking him from side to side. He melted into her embrace, nearly faint with relief that she didn't sound mad. "Shhh...I'm here, it's okay," she soothed.

"How, Yuuri? You're…" his father trailed off, and Yuuri heard Viktor quietly, sheepishly explaining to him what the doctor had said. He buried his face in the shoulder of his mother's jinbei, breathing in her comforting scent and the light, airy perfume she had worn ever since he could remember. He always felt so safe in her arms.

"We didn't think it was possible," Yuuri whispered, voice tight and wavering, "it was...a shock, finding out."

He felt Mari's strong hand gently rub his shoulder. "How far along are you?" She asked, her huskier-than-usual voice suggesting that she was a bit teary as well.

"Nine weeks. Well, nearly ten," he managed, pulling back and sniffling. His mother pulled her sleeve up over her hand and tenderly wiped his eyes, and he gave her a watery smile.

"Now, stop crying," she chided, her soft hand patting him gently on the cheek, "there's no need to look so sad after giving such happy news. You act like I'm going to kick you out of the house, Yuu-kun. Silly boy."

Thank God for Katsuki Hiroko.

She turned her attention to Viktor, fixing him with a firm stare. "And you're going to stay with him?" It was less of a question and more of a statement.

Viktor straightened and nodded quickly, his blue eyes wide. "Absolutely. There's no place I'd rather be, believe me."

Her face softened, and she reached behind Yuuri to give Viktor a pat on the shoulder. "That's good enough for me, then." Viktor's shoulders relaxed.

Yuri's arms were crossed over his loose sweatshirt. "So, that day at the skating rink last week, that was from the…" he trailed off uncomfortably. Yuuri just nodded, and Yuri held his fingers to his lips, his gaze darting away. He looked conflicted, like he didn't know whether to be angry or worried.

Yuuri's mother patted him on the back, sniffling a bit herself. "This is surprising," she admitted, "I thought for a long time that grandchildren was something we'd never have." She wiped a tear from her eye, and Yuuri blinked.

"What do you mean?" As soon as the words left his mouth, he wanted to reach out and yank them back, and his cheeks heated in shame. His eyes drifted to Mari, who lifted her shoulder in a shrug.

"Don't worry about it," she said good-naturedly. Viktor looked up at her a little confusedly, and she tucked her hands into her pockets. "I had to have a hysterectomy when I was 19, because of a car accident," she clarified, and Viktor's face fell. She cuffed him on the shoulder. "Don't take it like that, kid. I'm past it. Didn't think my little brother would be stealing my thunder, though." She gave an easy smile, and Viktor looked relieved.

"So you're keeping it," Yuri said bluntly, his face still blank and impassive, but his brows were drawing together.

Viktor and Yuuri exchanged a glance.

Oh boy. Here it comes.

"Yes, we are," Yuuri affirmed, and Yuri reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"Are you _kidding_ me."

And there it was.

"Just like that, you're going to throw your career away. You _stupid_ Katsudon," he hissed, "you had better not retire because of this...this...I swear, I'll never let you live with yourself if you do."

Yuuri shook his head, pursing his lips and trying not to laugh. Viktor had predicted it exactly. "No, definitely not retiring. Just sitting out for the season. And _Viktor_ ," he gave Viktor a sidelong glance, and he ducked and smiled, "is going to continue skating this season. Right?"

Viktor rubbed the back of his neck, breathing a laugh. "Right," he agreed.

The tension slowly drained out of Yuri's shoulders. "Good." To the naked eye, he still looked angry, but Yuuri knew better. He saw how his green eyes softened and his jaw unclenched. He wasn't angry anymore.

Suddenly realizing it was finally over, Yuuri let out a long, slow sigh of relief, leaning against his mother again and stroking Makkachin's head in his lap.

"I was so worried you would be disappointed in me," he confessed softly. His mother shushed him, patting his back and rubbing it tenderly.

"Now there you go, worrying over nothing again. There's nothing to be disappointed in you about. I wasn't married when I had Mari, either, sweetheart." She winked up at her quiet husband, and he cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses, looking bashful.

Yuuri blinked. He hadn't known that. "Really?"

"Really." His mother crossed her heart solemnly.

"Don't tell me they never told you that story," Mari said, rolling her eyes, but smiling. Yuuri shook his head, and his mother chuckled.

"Well, when I wa—"

"Kaa-san, no," Mari laughed, "There are little ears in the room."

"I'm not little, I'm sixteen," Yuri said gruffly, scowling, and Mari reached over to ruffle his flaxen hair and earned a growl.

"I was referring to Makkachin."

Everyone laughed, and even Yuri reluctantly smirked.

-

As he and Viktor lay in bed a few hours later, Yuuri still felt nervous.

Most of the job was done, true. He'd told his family and Yuri, and none of them had been too angry or disappointed in him. It was a huge weight off of his shoulders. But he still had more people to tell. He would have to tell the rest of the world eventually, and he wasn't looking forward to it.

It was frustrating.

"Penny for your thoughts," Viktor murmured as he scrolled through his phone, and Yuuri let out a soft sigh through his nose, drawing slow circles on Viktor's bare chest with one finger.

"Just thinking." He craned his neck and looked up at Viktor's face. "You need to get back to practicing. You've been staying home with me for too long. Yuuko-chan will let you use the rink if you ask her."

"Aw, but I like being with you," Viktor pouted, and Yuuri tapped his chest.

"No slacking off. You promised. I may even go with you, if you want. I like watching you skate."

Viktor gave a concerned frown. "You're supposed to be resting."

Yuuri rolled his eyes. "Bed rest doesn't mean that I can't walk around, you know. Walking to the rink may even be good for me. I'm going stir crazy in here already."

Viktor heaved a sigh, tipping Yuuri's chin up with one finger. His gaze was firm and serious.

"If you so much as step foot on that ice, I'll haul you right off of it again. If you go, you sit on the sidelines. I'm not trying to control you, but I worry, Yuuri. Your health is volatile right now, and you need to take care not to strain yourself."

"I know. And I promise." Yuuri snuggled closer to him, and Viktor tightened his arm around his shoulders briefly.

"Alright. I may go in the next few days. To tell the truth, I've been itching to get back on the ice. I miss it."

"Good." Yuuri leaned up and gave him a lingering kiss, and Viktor hummed appreciatively, smoothing his hand down Yuuri's bare back. Yuuri leaned forward, allowing Viktor to feel a little tongue, and the answering heated, insistent kiss he received made his insides tingle. He scooted farther up so he could straddle Viktor's lap, and against his lips, he felt Viktor draw in a sharp breath.

He loved this. Loved the way he could take Viktor apart and leave him vulnerable, so sweet and submissive. It was true that most of the time he preferred to let Viktor take the lead, but every now and then…

Viktor voiced a throaty moan into Yuuri's mouth, and his strong hands slid up Yuuri's back to rest against his neck and tangle in his hair, sending little jolts of sensation jumping along Yuuri's skin. He thrust his hips forward briefly and Viktor's breath hitched against his mouth; the familiar tingle of arousal was building in his lower belly with every breathy whimper he pulled from Viktor's lips. The heady scent of lust hung in the air between them, and Yuuri drank it in, reveling in the powerful feeling. He could feel firm thickness against his crotch as he rolled his hips in a slow grind, relishing the friction against his own rapidly filling cock.

When he was forced to lean back and breathe, Viktor looked up at him with that sort of dazed, awestruck look that he always got when he was aroused. His pale lashes fluttered as he blinked and licked his kiss-flushed lips, but then, he suddenly looked concerned.

"Is…you know. Is it safe for you and the baby right now, for us to…?"

"No, probably not," Yuuri murmured regretfully, touching Viktor's silky, shiny lips with one finger, "we may want to wait until after I'm cleared by a doctor." He rested his hands on Viktor's chest and nipped the soft skin of his earlobe, earning a shudder and a groan. "But I can still use my mouth," he whispered directly into Viktor's ear.

Viktor's face exploded into a full blush.

"Is that so?" He asked weakly.

"Mm." Yuuri trailed a finger down Viktor's Adam's apple as it bobbed.

Viktor blinked silently for a moment, his pupils noticeably larger than before. He abruptly slipped out from under Yuuri and headed for the door, and Yuuri blinked, confused.

"Where are you going…?"

Viktor's breathy answer made his lips tip up into a smirk.

"To _lock the door."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> (Sorry to be a cocktease. There will be actual smut later, I promise!)
> 
> School is, indeed, still a bitch, but I am having such a good time writing this when I get the time. Thank you for bearing with me.
> 
> Comments are my lifeblood! I love reading your thoughts, they make me irrationally happy ♡


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaa, I'm sorry it's been so long! I try to update every week, but life gets in the way...
> 
> But holy hell, this chapter is over 9,000 words long. Not sure whether to be proud or ashamed of myself. >_>
> 
> Hope you enjoy! The rating gets bumped up this chapter, just as a heads up. *wink wonk*

_12 weeks, 3 days_

Soft, slow, even breathing caressed Viktor's ears as he lazily drifted to the surface of wakefulness.

He opened his eyes halfway; the dim, periwinkle light of pre-dawn blanketed the room, a cool, heavy sort of silence. Not even birds could be heard outside. It was as if the world was holding its breath, anticipating the oncoming sunrise.

His lips pulled up into a soft, groggy smile at the sight that greeted him.

He and Yuuri had fallen asleep in each others arms, but during the night, they had separated, as they usually did. Most of the time, they ended up sprawled across each other haphazardly like a couple of discarded ragdolls, but every so often, they would wake up facing each other, as if unconsciously seeking out the sight of each other as they woke up.

Today was one of those days.

Yuuri was lying on his side, facing Viktor, still in a deep sleep. His pretty lips were parted, and his long, coal black lashes fanned out on his pale cheeks, making the greyish smudges underneath his eyes more noticeable. Viktor wanted to reach out and stroke his cheek, to place a kiss on his forehead, but he didn't want to wake him up.

God knew he needed the rest badly.

A resigned sort of sadness filled Viktor's heart as he observed Yuuri's weary face, his expression slightly pinched even in his sleep.

Once it had truly gotten going, the morning sickness had plagued Yuuri every single day. He would throw up nearly everything he tried to eat, and he spent a significant portion of his days slumped by the toilet, his eyes full of exhaustion and his complexion pale as a ghost. Viktor could only wring his hands, unable to take the sickness away and feeling awful for it.

They had thought it would go away eventually, as morning sickness was supposed to, but instead, it had escalated to the point of Yuuri barely being able to keep water down. Alarmed and at their wits' end, they'd finally been forced to take him to the emergency room because of how dehydrated he was getting, but after a brief checkup, they were assured that everything with the baby was normal. However, they had kept him for a couple of days on an IV, supplementing the fluids that he'd lost and keeping a close eye on both his and the baby's vitals. They had also given him some prescription nausea medication, and poor Yuuri had actually broken down and cried tears of relief at how effective it was. Since then, the sickness had gotten noticeably better, and in the last few days, it had hardly bothered him at all. It had been so _wonderful_ to see him eating again.

Now, looking at Yuuri's face, Viktor could tell that he was already improving after only a week on the medication. His cheeks were no longer sharp, and he was beginning to gain back the weight he'd lost.

Viktor was so glad. He had felt utterly helpless, at the end of his rope, and it had hurt so much to see Yuuri suffer like that.

His eyes roved over Yuuri's face, pale and beautiful in the hazy light of pre-dawn, and his heart warmed with affection and gratitude.

_How lovely he is._

He was content to lay there for a while, watching the rising sun lightly touch Yuuri's face, shading his handsome features in pale purples and pinks. He knew that he was eventually going to have to get back to practicing at the rink again today, and as much as he was looking forward to it, he enjoyed the moment of peace.

Not for the last time, he said a quiet prayer of thanks that he had Yuuri in his life.

Soon, he could see Yuuri's sleep becoming more light as he gradually woke up, shifting slightly and turning his head into the pillow with a soft moan. His fingers flexed, his eyelids twitched, and slowly, he opened his eyes, his gaze half-lidded as he searched Viktor's face in his sleepiness. Viktor loved watching him wake up. He always looked so sweet and enchanting, a sleeping prince rising from slumber.

Yuuri's eyes caught the light of dawn, the colors mingling with the brown of his irises to make them almost burgundy. He blinked slowly, reaching up a clumsy hand to wipe one eye, and a barely coherent noise left him.

"Viktor," his voice was rough, hoarse from sleep.

"Good morning, my love."

A drowsy, lopsided smile crossed Yuuri's face, and his hand drifted back down to the mattress. "Have you been watching me sleep?"

Viktor did his best to look innocent. "Maybe?"

Yuuri let out a sleepy chuckle, burrowing further down into the warm covers. "Why."

"Because you're so beautiful."

Even half awake, the compliment made Yuuri blush profusely. Viktor reached out and stroked his warm cheek with the back of his knuckles, and Yuuri's hand softly rested on the back of his.

"It's early," Yuuri noted with a yawn, still blinking and squinting.

"It is. I need to head to the rink soon," Viktor stretched, wincing when his back popped, "before I change my mind." He let out a self-deprecating laugh. "I don't want to leave. It's so warm and comfortable."

Yuuri reached over to lace their fingers together. "I'll go with you today again. I think I'll feel good enough."

After they had told Yuuri's family and Yuri about the baby, they had decided a few days later that they would stay in Hasetsu for a little longer, at least until Yuuri's health was a bit more stable. His parents and Mari had been delighted that they were staying longer, and to their surprise, Yuri had stayed as well. Though he'd never admit it, Yuri enjoyed staying in Hasetsu and talking with Yuuko at the rink.

Oh, what an experience it had been, telling Yakov the reason why they were staying.

He'd been pretty grumpy, as expected. He had lectured Viktor for nearly half an hour over the phone about keeping in practice, and had, surprisingly, given Yuuri an earful about staying off of the ice and maintaining his health as well. Though he had been peeved, the old man had begrudgingly agreed not to tell anyone the specifics of why they were staying. Yuuri had wilted in relief when they'd hung up.

Yuuko had been a mess when they'd told her and her family. The triplets had been absolutely fascinated by the ultrasound prints that Viktor had shown them, and Yuuko had been so happy for them that she had actually cried tears of joy, which, of course, had made _Yuuri_ cry. It was touching, how much Yuuri's friends and family loved him, and Viktor, by extension.

Minako had been a bit beside herself, worried that Yuuri was throwing the rest of his career away, but he assured her that he wouldn't.

"You're the reason I have premature gray hair," she accused after her initial freak out, but her stern face had softened eventually. She had hugged them both and told them to call her if they ever needed her, but Yuuri saw the worry in her eyes.

Viktor let out a dramatic sigh, rubbing his cheek into his pillow. "Can we stay a little longer?" He whined with a pout, and Yuuri gave a little grin.

"Whatever you want," he whispered. His face was softly lit in the pink-orange light of the sunrise, and just like every time he looked at him, Viktor was awestruck by how gorgeous he was. His clear, creamy skin, his striking dark eyebrows, the curve of his petite nose, his elegant jawline…

"Come here," Viktor murmured, tugging his hand, and Yuuri scooted closer with a little grunt. Viktor reached up to stroke his cheek again, his eyes roving over Yuuri's face. "I love you, Katsuki Yuuri."

Yuuri's cheeks pinkened again. "I love you, too," he replied softly. He turned his head to place a kiss on Viktor's palm, then leaned forward to kiss the tip of his nose. "Sorry, my breath is probably awful," he said with a quiet laugh.

Viktor nuzzled their noses together, smiling. "I love you anyway. But yes, by all means, let's brush our teeth before we do any kissing."

He watched as Yuuri rolled out of the bed with a long sigh, groaning and stretching his arms over his head as he stood. His loose, navy blue pajama shirt was lifted up as he did, exposing a strip of pale skin and the line of his hip bone. "I slept surprisingly well. I don't think I woke up ev—"

"Yuuri…" Viktor sat up abruptly, his eyes growing large.

Yuuri stopped mid-stretch, giving him a confused look. "What?" He followed Viktor's wide-eyed gaze to his abdomen, and his mouth fell open.

With trembling fingers, he grasped the hem of his shirt and pulled it up to his chest.

A soft roundness curved his lower belly outward, slight, but completely unmistakeable.

"You're showing," Viktor whispered, hardly believing his eyes.

His mouth still agape, Yuuri lightly touched the gentle curve beneath his belly button. "Oh my God," his voice was quiet, full of disbelief. He turned and hurried into the bathroom, and Viktor slid out of bed and quickly followed. In front of the mirror, Yuuri turned sideways and lifted his shirt again, staring at his reflection.

"I _am…_ wow…" his voice broke and his eyes glistened. He cupped his belly in one hand, his lip trembling. "I can't believe it..." Viktor's chest swelled with love as Yuuri gently rubbed the tiny protrusion. "Hi, baby," his voice wobbled. A tear fell down his face, and he sniffled, turning his eyes to Viktor. A wide, tearful grin spread across his face, and Viktor stepped forward and hugged Yuuri to his chest. He wrapped his arms around Viktor and broke down into laughing sobs, and Viktor smiled, tears stinging his own eyes.

He then realized that he could feel Yuuri's tiny bump against his own abdomen, and his heart filled with absolute wonder.

Yuuri drew back and looked up at Viktor, his watery eyes full of awe. "I can't believe this is real," he repeated, looking a little dazed. "We can see our baby." He stepped back and lifted his shirt yet again, flattening his palm on his belly and pressing gently. His eyes got big. "It's hard! Viktor, feel." He took Viktor's hand and pulled it to his belly.

Sure enough, there was a distinct firmness against Viktor's fingers that hadn't been present before, very different from the usual give of toned muscle. He breathed out a surprised sound and knelt in front of Yuuri.

"It is," he said in astonishment, following the curve with his fingers. He leaned forward and nuzzled his nose against Yuuri's bare stomach. "Hello in there, little one," his voice dropped into a soft coo, "I'm so happy we can finally see you…" he pressed a warm, gentle kiss to the tiny protrusion, and Yuuri grinned down at him with unbridled joy.

As they brushed their teeth and got ready for the day, Yuuri couldn't stop staring at his little baby bump, rubbing it with the tips of his fingers, looking an awful lot like an excited child.

"It's so crazy to even think about," he said at one point as he pulled his pants on, "before now, it didn't really seem real. But now we can actually _see_ it." His happiness was contagious.

"It is pretty amazing." Viktor gave him a cheerful grin, loading his skates into his duffel bag. He eyed Yuuri as he buttoned his jeans with a little difficulty. "You need some help?" He joked, and he ducked as Yuuri chucked a sock at him.

"Hush." Viktor threw the sock back at him and he caught it, slipping it on along with the other. "I guess I'll need to buy new pants one of these days…I won't be able to fit these for much longer, and I can't just wear nothing but sweatpants the whole time, as appealing as that sounds." He slipped an old red hoodie on, rolling up the sleeves. "You about ready to go?"

"You should eat something first," Viktor reminded, "you won't be able to just not eat breakfast anymore. You're eating for two now."

Yuuri sighed. "You're right. I'll get something quick from the kitchen. You want anything?"

"Grab me a protein bar, if you don't mind."

By the time they got out of the house and were walking to the skating rink, it had warmed up considerably, and towering, fluffy cumulus clouds were drifting into the sky; they would probably get rain later. They strolled lazily along, hand in hand, admiring how green and lush the foliage was around them. Early summer was a pleasant time of the year in Hasetsu; it was just before the rainy season kicked into full swing, and while the average temperatures were rising, the morning wind was still cool against their skin.

Truthfully, Viktor couldn't wait to skate again. He'd been choreographing both his short program and his free skate for quite a while, and he was eager to get back to work.

And this season, unlike previous ones, he'd have Yuuri cheering him on from the sidelines.

 

-

 

Yuuri was fully convinced that Viktor Nikiforov was the most beautiful person on the planet.

As Viktor danced across the ice with his earbuds in his ears, all Yuuri could do was stare, completely transfixed. His skating was _mesmerizing_ , even more so than before. The short program routine was full of Viktor's natural poise and grace, of course, but there was something different. Something about his movements, how purposeful and determined the strokes of his blades were now, quite unlike his skating in the previous Grand Prix Final. Every now and then, he'd shoot Yuuri a glance from the ice, full of love and longing.

It took Yuuri a few times to realize that it was part of the program.

_It's like…he's telling me a story._

Viktor came out of an elegant catch foot layback spin, his gaze burning into Yuuri's with such intensity that it took his breath away, a shiver dancing down his spine.

_No…it's more than that. He's calling out to me. He's skating for me._

This program was _for_ _him_.

It made him feel unspeakably special.

When Viktor struck the final pose of his short program for the fifth consecutive time, he reached out to Yuuri instead of simply wrapping his arms around himself like in previous practices, mimicking Yuuri's final pose from his own previous free skate. His chest rose and fell rapidly, his forehead glistening and his shirt damp, but the love shining through the tiredness in his eyes and lopsided grin was tangible and soft.

Yuuri grinned and applauded, his claps echoing through the empty rink, and Viktor's shoulders sagged and he looked up at the ceiling, breathing out an exhausted laugh and taking out his earbuds, letting them dangle against his chest.

"I need a break!" He half-yelled, half groaned, skating slowly to the divider and shaking his hair out of his eye, running his gloved fingers through it. Yuuri held out his towel and water bottle to him as he approached, and he took them gratefully. "Not as young as I used to be…" he took his gloves off and mopped his sweaty face with the towel.

"Your skating is even prettier than I remember," Yuuri said, and a single turquoise eye peeked out from behind the towel.

"You thought it was pretty?" Viktor looked uncharacteristically bashful.

Yuuri laughed. "Viktor, are you kidding me? I've never seen you skate like that. There was so much emotion, I couldn't take my eyes off of you." Viktor dropped the towel and glanced away, his already flushed cheeks darkening even more.

"Thank you," he murmured.

 _So cute_. Yuuri's eyes fell to the earbuds. "What song did you choose, anyway?"

"Oh, I didn't ever show it to you?" Viktor looked puzzled. "I thought I had, but I probably forgot." He unclipped his phone from the pocket on the inside of his waistband and handed it to Yuuri, starting the song over. "I've wanted to skate to it for a long time, actually, but I've never had a reason to before."

Yuuri tilted his head, fitting the buds into his ears. "What do you mean?"

"You'll see." Viktor winked and took a long drink of his water.

The song began with soft piano, slowly meandering and building with an expressive orchestra in the background. The melody was lovely, ethereal and lilting, and by the time the song had reached a crescendo, Yuuri realized that he'd closed his eyes, lost in the wistful music.

"Viktor, this is beautiful," he murmured, taking one earbud out, "what is it called?"

Viktor seemed pleased. "'Until the Last Moment.' It was composed by a wonderfully talented Greek pianist that I've admired for a long time." A subtle sadness crossed Viktor's face that Yuuri had never seen before. "The song is about the beauty and fragility of life. All life is precious, and it's...very short, and fleeting. We should take the time to enjoy our lives, until our very last breath."

 _Wow_ … "I could definitely feel that…but why did you never have a reason to skate to it before?" Yuuri asked again, and Viktor's eyes lowered, catching the light from above and softening.

"Because I didn't have you."

The simple answer struck Yuuri in the heart.

Viktor reached to rest his gloved hand over Yuuri's, smoothing his thumb over the back of it. "Yuuri, before I found you, I wasn't very happy. I was…well." Viktor gave a weak smile. "I wasn't in a good place. I had no real reason to enjoy my life. Everything had become so dull, so lifeless. Even skating had become a chore to me."

He leaned across the divider, resting his forehead against Yuuri's. "When you danced into my life to my own program, it was like someone had touched a flame to a gasoline-soaked cloth. You rekindled me, Yuuri. I feel _passionate_ about skating again, not only because it's become fun to me again, but because you've taught me how to truly enjoy my life." He lifted Yuuri's hand and pressed a kiss to it, and Yuuri couldn't look away from his entrancing blue eyes. "You taught me how to love. You…and our baby."

The adoration in Viktor's gaze was like a warm blanket wrapping around Yuuri's heart, and to his mortification, tears were rapidly welling up in his eyes.

"Ah…I didn't mean to make you cry," Viktor said hastily, brushing a droplet off of Yuuri's cheek.

He sniffled and rubbed his eyes, laughing. "Sorry, I'm kind of a mess nowadays," he said ruefully, and Viktor pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"The baby is just playing with your hormones, that's all. It's understandable."

"You being a mushy sap didn't help," he teased, and Viktor tapped his nose.

"Wait till you see my free skate." His eye twinkled mischievously.

Yuuri perked up. "Oh? What song are you using for that?"

"You'll see." Viktor winked again, and Yuuri groaned.

"You're seriously going to make me wait until you skate it?"

"I want it to be a surprise." Viktor's smile was secretive. Yuuri grumbled.

"Fine…"

Viktor leaned forward and dropped a quick kiss on the tip of his nose, then shoved off, skating backward with a grin.

"Plug my phone into the sound system. I want to hear the music all around me this time."

 

-

 

By the time they left the rink, it was well past lunch time, and Viktor insisted that they go get something to eat before heading back to the onsen.

_"It will be like a mini date!"_

Yuuri didn't even have the willpower to argue; he was _starving_. Somehow, it felt different from normal hunger. A deep emptiness in the pit of his belly.

They ended up at a small café that they'd been to several times before, and the bell gave a musical chime from above when they walked through the door. The woman behind the counter called out a polite greeting in Japanese, and Yuuri lifted his hand and answered her with a smile, but then stopped short.

Oh, wait.

His heart jumped in his chest. It must have shown on his face, because Viktor gave him a concerned look. Yuuri subtly leaned up to whisper in his ear.

"Can you tell I'm, well…is m-my belly noticeable?" He asked very quietly, feeling strangely embarrassed.

Understanding crossed Viktor's face, and he spared a glance downward, looking casual. He scrutinized for a second, then shook his head, his voice barely audible.

"No. Your hoodie is loose, you can't tell at all."

Yuuri closed his eyes and sighed in relief as they sat down in a secluded booth. "I'm lucky it is, because I didn't even think about it when I put it on. I should be more mindful."

"You'll have to announce it publicly one of these days, you know," Viktor reminded under his breath, "it's not going to be easy to hide in a couple of months."

Yuuri resisted the urge to groan. "I know. I'll do it soon, but I'd rather tell a few people we're close to personally first. Phichit would probably actually fly to Japan and murder me if he had to find out secondhand." He chuckled nervously. He could just picture his best friend's outraged indignation, and he didn't want to speculate what kind of revenge would be wrought.

He spoke for both of them when the waitress asked for their orders; she didn't know any English, but she was friendly, and she smiled and bowed as she hurried off, promising to bring their drinks soon.

Yuuri took a deep breath, and the tantalizing scent of spices filled his lungs and caused his stomach to growl. "Whatever that is, it smells delicious. I wasn't even the one skating, and I'm still so hungry." He shifted in his seat, keenly aware of the strange new feeling of fullness in his lower abdomen. It already felt so different. "So glad I can finally eat again."

Viktor leaned his chin on his hand, smiling sympathetically. "I am, too. I felt so awful for you, I probably drove you nuts worrying."

Yuuri reached to pat his hand. "You're a bleeding heart, you can't help it," he reassured sweetly, and Viktor sniffed.

They both grew quiet as the waitress brought them their drinks, water for Yuuri and tea for Viktor, and she told them that their food would be ready shortly.

"Here," Viktor pulled out the small bottle of nausea medication and handed it to Yuuri. "Don't forget to take this."

Yuuri let out an exasperated breath. "Oh, thank you." He took it, unscrewed the cap, and took out one of the tiny pills. "That would have probably kicked me in the ass later." He took a long gulp of water after downing the pill. He'd been a bit apprehensive about taking it so frequently at first, since he had to be extra careful what sorts of medicines he took now, but thankfully, it was perfectly safe to take during pregnancy.

Once their food arrived and they started eating, Yuuri felt better immediately. It was alarming just how hungry he had gotten between breakfast and lunch. He could already see that he was going to have to eat much more often than before. He was, as Viktor had mentioned, eating for two. A thrill of excitement fluttered in his heart.

"Ahh, this is so good," Viktor said enthusiastically through a mouthful, and it really was. The hot, tender noodles and meat in the beef bowls they had both ordered were delicious.

Yuuri opened his mouth to answer, but he was cut off by his phone buzzing in his pocket. He pulled it out, and his eyes widened when he saw the number.

Phichit. His heart skipped a beat.

 _Okay, calm down. He doesn't know anything yet, just act natural_.

"Mind if I put this on speaker?" He asked, wiggling the phone in Viktor's direction, and he nodded with a smile.

"Go ahead."

He swiped the answer button, hoping that he _could_ act natural. He was a terrible liar, after all.

"Hey, Phichit!"

"Yuuri! Nice to hear your voice, buddy. Haven't talked to you in a while, how have you been?" Phichit's voice brought a smile to his face. Always so cheerful.

"I've been pretty good. We're staying in Hasetsu for a while, so I've had fun with that. We're eating lunch in a café right now." He lifted his noodle-laden chopsticks to his mouth.

"Hello, Phichit," Viktor spoke up with a smile.

"Ah, you're there too, Viktor? Awesome, you doing well?"

"Wonderfully."

"Glad to hear it. Listen, Yuuri, I wanted to ask your opinion about my short program music, would it be a good day to Skype this evening?"

Yuuri and Viktor exchanged a glance, and Viktor raised his eyebrows. _It would be a good time to tell him,_ his expression said.

Yuuri cleared his throat. "Uh, sure! That would be fine."

Phichit's voice grew dubious. "You sure? Everything okay?" Man, Phichit could read him like a book, even over a phone call.

Yuuri laughed, trying to sound nonchalant. "Sure, I'm sure. And yep, everything is fine."

Phichit laughed as well. "Aw, Yuuri, you know I can always tell when you're fibbing," he said cheerfully, and Yuuri sighed.

"Okay, fine, I might have something to tell you, but it's not anything bad." _Depending on how you look at it. He may be disappointed I'm not skating this season…_

"Thought so. I gotta go right now, though, I'm supposed to be practicing, and Ciao Ciao is giving me one of those looks." He sounded sheepish. "Talk to you later, okay? Hope I didn't interrupt your lunch."

"No, you're fine. I'll talk to you later." They said their goodbyes and Yuuri swiped to hang up, letting his head fall to the table with a frustrated groan. The smooth surface was cool against his forehead. "Am I really that transparent?" He asked meekly without raising his head, and Viktor patted his hair.

"Yes. But that's part of the reason you're so adorable."

"Viktorrr…"

 

-

 

Hours later, Yuuri lay on their bed with Makkachin's head in his lap, listening to Viktor's short program music again with soft rain pattering in the background from outside.

They had gotten caught in the rain walking home from the café earlier, and had both gotten soaked to the bone. His mother had met them at the door with dryer-fluffed towels and hot tea, bless her soul. He'd never deserve her.

Now, resting on the bed with his hands clasped behind his head, Yuuri felt warm and comfortable, soothed by the music in his ears. It was such a lovely, calming song.

He could definitely use a little calming before Phichit called.

It wasn't that he thought Phichit would be angry. Quite the contrary, he'd probably be ecstatic for him. Still, it wasn't easy telling a close friend that you may not be around as much. He hardly ever saw Phichit as it was, and now he had no idea how much he'd be traveling with Viktor while he skated. It all depended on his health, which was, thankfully, steadily improving.

With every day that passed, he was becoming less afraid. Of course, he was still pretty apprehensive of being a parent. It was a heavy thought to get used to, but he was slowly warming up to the idea.

Especially since he had physical proof now.

He removed one hand from behind his head and rested it on the gentle swell of his lower belly. It was warm underneath the fabric of his shirt, as if the tiny life inside him was vibrating, radiating innocent, excited energy.

It may have been a silly thought, but he didn't care.

His fingers gently rubbed the firm distention, and a soft smile stole over his face.

It had taken him a while, but he had already grown to love their baby so much. They were so tiny, so _miniscule_ , barely even there, but he loved them. He didn't even know what sort of person they would grow up to be, but he _loved_ them, and he loved them more and more every single day. It was an unconditional sort of love that he'd never experienced before, something that reached deep into his heart.

Makkachin shifted his head and snuggled closer to Yuuri's belly with a sleepy sigh, and Yuuri smiled. _Sweet puppy_. He wondered if Makka would eventually grow more protective of him as his pregnancy progressed. He had heard of such things happening.

Viktor strode into the room with a towel slung around his neck, his hair damp and his skin shiny. "Aw," he cooed as he saw Makkachin, "did he keep you company for me?"

Yuuri took out one ear bud and nodded with a smile. "Doing a good job, too." He rubbed behind the poodle's fluffy ears, and his tail gave a little wag.

The bed dipped as Viktor sat down, and he noticed Yuuri's hand over his belly. "May I?" His voice was low and reverent. Yuuri made a soft, affirmative sound, and he lifted his hand as Viktor tugged his shirt up. He leaned down to eye level with Yuuri's stomach, tracing one finger up and over the curve with fascination shining in his eyes. "That is _incredible_ ," he breathed.

"I wonder what he or she will look like," Yuuri mused, his fingers intertwining with Viktor's, "I'd sort of like them to at least have your eyes."

"But your eyes are so lovely," Viktor countered, looking up at Yuuri through his bangs, and Yuuri blinked.

"They're just brown. There's nothing remarkable about them." He'd always thought his eye color was rather boring.

Viktor's head shot up. "Absolutely not! They're _beautiful_. So warm and sweet, but also—" he dropped a kiss to the dip of Yuuri's hip that made him shiver, "—so sensual, so seductive. Like freshly ground cinnamon." The blue of Viktor's irises glinted, mingled with minty green. His eyes were so interesting; under different lighting, there were many shades of green and blue in them, glimmering like sea glass.

Yuuri was flattered. He'd never thought his eyes were particularly pretty. "You're sweet," he murmured, combing Viktor's bangs out of his eye with his fingers and tucking them behind his ear.

Viktor was about to answer, but he was interrupted by a soft, bubbly chiming.

The Skype call ringtone.

Yuuri's heart rate jumped, and he swallowed. "There's Phichit."

"Do you want me to stay?" Viktor asked softly, and Yuuri shrugged.

"You can if you want."

Viktor stood. "I'll just let you talk to him privately. Give him my regards, okay?"

Yuuri smiled faintly. "I will."

Viktor left the room with a backwards wink and a blown kiss, and it gave Yuuri a confidence boost he hadn't known he'd needed.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, lifting his phone off of his chest and sticking his earbud back in his ear.

Here goes nothing.

As soon as he pressed the answer button, Phichit's concerned face filled his screen.

"Hey, Yuuri. Is it an okay time to talk?"

Yuuri nodded. "Yeah, it's a good time, actually. Sorry I couldn't tell you earlier, but we were in public, and I…um." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking away from the screen briefly. "First of all, try not to freak out, okay?"

"Uhm, that sounds like you're priming me to freak out, actually." But his face was kind.

Yuuri managed a smile. "Second of all, you have to _promise_ me this. Please, do not post this on any social media."

Phichit gasped dramatically, holding a hand to his chest. "No social media? How will I survive?"

Yuuri frowned, a flare of annoyance rising in his chest. "Come on, Phichit."

The mischievous smile immediately dropped and Phichit's posture straightened. "Is everything okay? Are you okay?" His voice rose in worry, his dark brows furrowed. "You're not sick, are you?"

Yuuri shook his head. "Not exactly."

"What do you mean, 'not exactly'?"

"Well, I…uh." Yuuri didn't know an eloquent way to put it. "I won't be skating this season."

_"What??"_

That was decidedly not eloquent.

Phichit's eyebrows had shot up, and Yuuri could tell he was clutching his phone in desperation. "Why?" Genuine worry was darkening his features. "Did you hurt yourself?"

"No, I, well," Yuuri's resolve was growing weaker, so he'd better get it out quick before he lost all nerve. "I'll, erm…I'll be on a sort of…maternity leave."

Phichit blinked rapidly, his face blanking. "…did I hear you right?"

Yuuri winced. "Yeah…"

"You—…maternity leave?"

"Yeah, I-I'm going to have a baby, Phichit."

Phichit's charcoal grey eyes grew comically wide. "Are you serious? You're _pregnant?"_

"Completely."

"How??"

Yuuri weakly explained. 

After a few seconds of shocked silence, Phichit's eyes welled up. "Oh, Yuuri," he said in a tiny voice, covering his mouth.

"Are you alright?" Yuuri asked in alarm, and Phichit nodded shakily.

"Just…wow," he wavered, giving an emotional smile, "you weren't supposed to be able to have kids, and now…" he let out a laugh that sounded like a half-sob. "Oh my _God_ , Yuuri!" He cried, his voice rising, and he briefly dropped his phone. Yuuri could hear him give a muffled scream into a pillow that sounded an awful lot like "my best friend is having a baby", and his heart flooded with relief.

The screen blurred as Phichit snatched his phone off of the bed, wiping his face and beaming. "I can't believe this!"

Yuuri felt a grin widen on his own face. "Neither can I," he confessed, "I wasn't too happy about it at first, if I'm being honest. But now I'm kind of excited."

"Why shouldn't you be? There's a _baby_ growing inside you!"

"Well, you know, skating and all."

"Ah," Phichit's smile fell slightly. "Right. But hey, it's only for one season, right?"

"That's the plan, yeah."

"That's great! Show me, show me," he bounced on his bed, "can you see it yet?"

Yuuri switched to the camera on the back of his phone and slid his shirt up, and Phichit let out a squeal that made him wince and turn down his volume. "You _can!_ That's so freakin' amazing! How far along are you?"

"About three months, give or take. But yeah, that's why I won't be skating."

"You had me worked up for nothing. I thought you were gonna say you had broken your ankle or some shit." Phichit glared playfully, and Yuuri ducked.

"Sorry! I would have told you earlier, but it's not just something you casually mention while in a public restaurant. I don't want the entire world beating my door down just yet."

Phichit's face grew thoughtful. "That's completely understandable, actually. The press is probably gonna give you some trouble."

"Oh, let them," Yuuri said crossly, "it's not like I'm a celebrity."

"Well, you are engaged to one of the most decorated figure skaters in recent history, y'know," Phichit pointed out, "People are bound to talk, but you don't have to listen."

"Mm." Yuuri leaned back against the pillows, stretching his back. "I'm glad you're not mad. Yakov gave me a pretty hard time, and Minako-sensei too, at first. They both think I won't return to skating after I have the baby."

"Ehh," Phichit made a noncommittal noise, "even if you don't, that's no one's business but your own and Viktor's, to be honest. It's your life."

Yuuri shrugged. "I still plan to. I want to win at least one gold medal, after all…"

"Same. Maybe I'll have a chance this season, now that you're out!" Phichit gave a lopsided grin, and Yuuri narrowed his eyes jokingly.

"An opportunist, you are."

"Hey, if the shoe fits." Phichit grew sober again. "Seriously, though, I'm so happy for you. And on my honor, I won't post it anywhere. That would be a dick move, even for a social media junkie like me. You tell the world when you're good and ready."

Yuuri's heart warmed. "Thanks, Phichit. I knew I could count on you."

"When are you due?"

"Supposed to be late December to early January, according to the doctor."

"Cutting it close. Viktor's still gonna skate the season, right?"

"Mhm. I asked him to, for me."

"Awww," Phichit gushed, "that's precious. Viktor will have a cute pregnant hubby waiting for him at the kiss and cry. I'm gonna take pictures and frame them on my wall."

"Ha ha," Yuuri deadpanned, trying not to grin at the mental image.

"The funniest part is you think I'm joking."

Viktor slid the door aside, and Makkachin leapt up, running past him out of the room, likely on a mission to beg for food from the kitchen. He shut the door behind him, raising his eyebrows in silent question, and Yuuri gave him a thumbs up. "Viktor just walked in," he said, unplugging his headphones and turning his phone around so Phichit could see.

"Heyo! There's my best friend's baby daddy!"

"Hello again," Viktor greeted with a grin.

"Take good care of him, okay? He's already moody as all get out, so I'm sure he'll be even worse now."

Viktor stifled a snort. "I'll try my best."

"I am literally right here," Yuuri objected with a mock frown, and Phichit chuckled.

"You two are going to be such awesome parents. I can't wait to see you both at Skate Canada."

They both looked at each other, then back at the phone.

"Skate Canada?" Yuuri repeated, turning his phone around.

Phichit perked up, swiping his finger across his own phone's screen. "Oh, yeah! They announced the lineup for the GPF series a few hours ago. Viktor and I will both be competing at Skate Canada." He read briefly. "Says here he'll be there, at Skate Canada in Saskatchewan in October, then the NHK Trophy in Osaka in November, and the Grand Prix Final is in Nagoya in December this year."

"Ah, I haven't been to Canada in a while," Viktor mused, "should be rather interesting."

"J.J. will be strutting around like a rooster," Yuuri snorted, rolling his eyes.

Phichit sniffed. "Oh, you know he will. Listen, I need to go, guys. I trained hard today, and I can barely keep my eyes open." The statement was punctuated with a stifled yawn. "Celestino can be harsh when he wants to be."

"He can, for sure." Yuuri smiled fondly. "I'll let you go, then. Get some good rest tonight, don't forget to send me your music to listen to."

"Oh, dammit," Phichit smacked his forehead, "that was the whole reason I called. I completely forgot after you dropped a bomb on my head like that. Or should I say a cradle?"

Viktor and Yuuri both snickered. "Go to bed, Phichit. Send it to me tomorrow."

"Right, right. Congrats again, and good night, you two. Or three. Whatever. Night!"

"Good night," they said in unison, and Phichit's tired smile faded off of the screen.

Viktor spoke first. "Did he cry?"

"He did." Yuuri laughed.

"You owe me five bucks, then," Viktor said in a low voice, sitting down on the bed. Cool fingers traced his jawline, tipping his chin up.

Yuuri's stomach jumped at the look in Viktor's eye, the atmosphere in the room abruptly shifting to something tense and lusty.

He lifted his hand, grasping Viktor's slim wrist and pulling it to his lips. "Oh, no," he said in an innocent, lilting tone, "I seem to not have my wallet on me. Whatever shall I do to pay you?"

Viktor's face leaned closer, his smirk unbelievably sexy, and Yuuri's glasses were slowly, deliberately removed and set aside. "Oh, I could think of a few things…"

Yuuri wet his lips, anticipation tingling in his abdomen. "Remember, we'll have to be quiet and careful." He had been cleared by the doctor the day before, but they'd been cautioned to be gentle. "You locked the door, right?" Viktor nodded, reaching down to give his stomach a soft rub.

"You're safe in my hands, my Yuuri," he whispered against Yuuri's lips, and Yuuri closed his eyes and shuddered. Viktor's rich, velvety voice alone was enough to get him worked up.

Warm lips pressed against his mouth briefly, gentle kisses trailing down his jaw, the line of his throat. He gave a contented sigh and reached up to thread his fingers through Viktor's soft hair.

"However you want it." The words were hot against Yuuri's neck.

"Just like this." His voice was husky in his chest. "I want you to take me like this." His face heated in embarrassment at the words, but he paid it no heed.

It had been so long.

Viktor smoothed a thumb over Yuuri's bottom lip, smiling. "Your wish is my command."

Their lips found each other in an affectionate, unhurried kiss. Viktor's lips were silky, as they always were, since he had more of a mind to keep lip balm on than Yuuri did. His lips slid against Yuuri's softly, kissing the corner of his mouth, his lower lip, the curve of his cupid's bow. Both of his hands slipped under Yuuri's shirt, and a soft gasp left Yuuri's lips at the feeling of cool fingers against the warm skin of his chest, a thumb caressing one of his nipples.

"Take it off, will you?" Yuuri whispered, lifting his arms, and Viktor gladly obeyed, sliding his shirt up and off and discarding it on the floor. He shrugged his own shirt off hastily, and it joined Yuuri's in a haphazard pile.

His fingers carded through Yuuri's messy hair, pushing it back from his forehead, and a quick kiss was dropped on his hairline. Yuuri's face burned as Viktor's gaze roved over him hungrily, desire burning in his eyes. A weak, incredulous noise rumbled from his chest.

"Oh, Yuuri," his voice was rough with emotion, "do you have any idea what you do to me?"

Yuuri's stomach did a backflip.

"I will if you show me," he breathed.

Viktor closed his eyes and shivered briefly, as if Yuuri's voice had cast a spell over him. He positioned himself between Yuuri's legs and rested his elbows on either side of Yuuri's head, and their lips met again, the contact sending sparks down Yuuri's spine.

They kissed slowly, exploring each other with a loving tenderness that filled Yuuri's stomach and chest with butterflies, gradually opening up to each other more and more. Yuuri groaned as Viktor dragged his teeth along his bottom lip and nipped gently, and when he felt the warmth of Viktor's tongue against his own, he involuntarily thrust his hips upward, suddenly aware of how hard they both already were.

Viktor gave a choked gasp at the friction, and rolled his own pelvis downward, his heated crotch rubbing the bulge in Yuuri's sweatpants. The kiss became messier, their tongues slipping together wetly, and a long, low moan escaped Yuuri as they ground against each other, the familiar hot-cold sensation building in his belly and thighs. He yelped when Viktor's lips latched onto his throat again, his tongue laving against the heated skin, and a hand slipped down into his sweatpants to grasp his pulsing cock.

He stifled a gasp into Viktor's shoulder as smooth, gentle pressure encompassed him, slicking him up and down, aided by the slippery precum already weeping from his tip.

"A-ah…" he whimpered, his voice muffled, and Viktor shushed him sweetly, scooting down further on the bed.

"You wouldn't want anyone to hear, would you, _moyo zolotse?"_ He purred, his voice like warm honey.

 _Fuck_.

Yuuri gasped quietly as he felt the hand leave his length and slip between his legs. A warm finger rested against his entrance, and he felt a little ashamed at how slick he already was. They probably wouldn't even need lube. Viktor kissed a trail down his belly, sliding his sweatpants down to his mid-thighs and taking his stiff cock in hand.

His warm, wet tongue prodded Yuuri's tip, and he let out another moan, his heartbeat racing. Viktor's lips slid down over him, and at the same time, the finger circling him wiggled inside.

His hips jerked and he clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Viktor," he gasped through his hand, squeezing his eyes shut as he was engulfed in the wet heat of Viktor's mouth, the skilled tongue teasing his shaft, and Viktor bobbed his head slowly, drawing a second, sharper inhale from Yuuri's lips.

Another finger was easily slipped past the ring of muscle, rubbing around inside and working him open. With practiced precision, Viktor found his prostate and curled his fingers into it.

Yuuri sucked in a breath and bit his hand, his feet digging into the bed, and he clutched the sheets in his other hand. The weightless, breathless feeling of orgasm surged upward inside him out of nowhere, and he waved his hand at Viktor frantically. "Stop, stop," he begged.

Viktor immediately pulled off of him and stilled his fingers, his eyes wide with concern. "Are you okay?"

Yuuri fought very hard not to come then and there at the sight of Viktor's heart-shaped lips shining with saliva and precum.

"F-fine, I just…I want this to last, and if you keep that up, it won't," Yuuri wavered, breathing deeply and holding a hand over his heaving chest, feeling the orgasm creep away. That was close.

Viktor's flushed face softened. He carefully removed his fingers and tugged Yuuri's pants and underwear off, and quickly did the same to his own, tossing them aside.

As usual, Yuuri's breath caught in his throat at how gorgeous Viktor was. The wiry, lean muscles of his chest and arms flexed as he moved to lift Yuuri's legs at the knees, spreading them apart and exposing him; his face grew hot and his stomach fluttered at the strange, almost feral light in Viktor's eyes, one that he'd only seen a handful of times before.

"God, Yuuri," Viktor said in a hushed, awed whisper, trailing his fingers down the back of Yuuri's thigh and causing him to twitch. "You are stunning." The praise curled around Yuuri and made his insides burn with arousal. His flushed, swollen cock rested against his belly, streaking it with clear fluid.

"I'll get a condom." Viktor moved to pull back, but Yuuri reached up and threaded his fingers into the soft hair on the back of Viktor's head, tugging him back down. His voice was low and gravelly as he spoke his next words.

"We don't need one."

Viktor's eyes darkened, his irises thin rings of icy blue around his blown pupils.

He closed his eyes and whispered something in Russian that Yuuri didn't quite catch, but he was fairly certain he heard the word "fuck".

Viktor took his own cock by the base, lining up with Yuuri's wet, quivering entrance, and bottomed out easily in one smooth, slow thrust, no lubricant necessary with how much slick Yuuri had produced.

Yuuri gave a low groan as he was stretched around Viktor's length, his inner walls straining to accommodate the hard, heavy cock, and the slight sting only added to the pleasure already pulsing over him in waves.

"Okay?" Viktor murmured, his voice rasping, and Yuuri nodded. He slipped his arms around Viktor's torso as he began to move his hips slowly, sliding in and out with ease and holding Yuuri up with one hand at the small of his back. Yuuri's breath caught in his throat with every bit of friction on his prostate. Viktor was just long enough to give it a good bit of pressure on every thrust in.

"Ohh, Viktor," he murmured shakily, his eyes falling shut in bliss. He allowed himself to fall into the sensations, curling his fingers into the tense muscle of Viktor's back, and he felt lips on his neck again, sucking and biting gently. He sighed and shivered at the feeling.

When Viktor made love to him like this, so soft and worshipful, it made him feel honored and special, as fragile as glass. Viktor was so _gentle_ , holding him like he was made of spun sugar, a precious, cherished treasure that carried equally precious cargo.

"You are so gorgeous," Viktor crooned breathlessly into his throat, his thumb rubbing circles into the small of Yuuri's back, "my perfect little vixen. You drive me _mad_ , Yuuri." His voice was strained, and Yuuri could tell he was holding back quite a bit simply from the scent of his pheromones; the sharp, tangy smell curled around him, hot and possessive, mingling with Yuuri's own spicy scent.

 _Mine_ , it whispered. _You're mine, all mine, and I'm yours._

Viktor picked up his pace a little, his breath becoming heavier, and Yuuri whimpered as his prostate was mercilessly rubbed. His vision filled with white static, his body tensing with every thrust.

Viktor's silver bangs clung to his forehead and cheek, moistened with sweat, and his lower lip was caught between his teeth. Sweat trickled down the elegant curve of his neck, over his sculpted clavicle, and hazy pink burned high on his cheekbones. His sea green eyes were half-lidded, glassed over.

He looked half drunk, utterly lost in pleasure, so immensely _attractive_.

His hand came up to stroke Yuuri's hair, trembling lips pressed against his temple. A tender Russian phrase was panted out against his skin, full of adoration, though Yuuri only understood the words 'love' and 'my heart'.

Yuuri's thighs twitched and he gasped, his tailbone and pelvis tingling with white-hot heaviness, the thread of his control wearing thin. "I'm close," he choked out, and Viktor buried his face in his neck with a tight, labored noise, nodding.

He rolled his hips into Yuuri and angled them upward, his cock slicking in and out with long, purposeful strokes and hitting Yuuri's prostate with pinpoint accuracy, and the thread _snapped_.

Yuuri's back arched off of the bed, and the bottom fell out of his stomach.

"Viktor," he breathed out as softly as he could, the breath leaving his lungs. He threw his head back into the pillow as he voiced a strangled, stifled groan, and he felt himself clamp around Viktor like a vice with tight, pulsing throbs. His cock seized and twitched, spurting warm, sticky cum between their abdomens.

Their free hands laced together tightly, and Viktor drew in a breath and shuddered above him, his arm tightening around Yuuri's waist. His face pinkened in surprise, lips forming a lovely 'o' and his eyes falling shut, and Yuuri felt Viktor's cock jump and wet warmth bloom deep inside him.

His thighs and hips trembled as the waves of orgasm grew less intense, slowly being replaced with the dazed, cozy haze of afterglow. He melted into the bedsheets, his chest rising and falling as he caught his breath, a bit disoriented.

Viktor relaxed his weight on top of him for a moment, then drew in a sharp gasp and raised up slightly, shaking his head and slipping a hand between them to touch Yuuri's belly.

"I don't need to do that," he managed, his voice a little groggy, "I could hurt the…here, let's…" he pulled Yuuri over with him so that they were laying on their sides facing each other, still attached with Viktor inside him. He let out a relaxed sigh. "That's better."

Yuuri smiled softly, brushing Viktor's silver hair out of his eye. He was always so limp and sleepy after they were intimate. It was precious.

"I love you," he whispered, tracing Viktor's features with his fingers gently. He was beautiful, breathtaking, like a perfect porcelain figurine.

Viktor's hand reached up to take his, and a lingering kiss was pressed to his knuckles. "I love _you_ , my Yuuri," he murmured, the love shining in his eyes so sincere that involuntary tears welled up in Yuuri's eyes. "Ah, I did it again…" Viktor guiltily caught a tear that trickled over the bridge of Yuuri's nose.

"I'm sorry, I just…you look so sweet and cute," Yuuri gave a shaky laugh, and Viktor smiled.

"Who's the sap now?"

"Both of us."

"You're not wrong." Viktor reached for a tissue. Yuuri winced as he pulled out, catching the spill of slick and cum that trickled out in his wake. "I had just taken a bath, and now I'll need another one," Viktor laughed ruefully, balling up the tissue and tossing it in the trash can. He leafed another out of the box to wipe the stickiness from their stomachs.

"We can shower off together and go soak in the onsen?" Yuuri suggested as Viktor sat up, tugging his pajama pants on and rising to his feet. He held out a hand and Yuuri took it, sliding to the edge of the bed and pulling his sweatpants on.

"That sounds lovely."

Yuuri stood as well, but his knees quivered unsteadily, so Viktor swept him off of his feet yet again, holding him bridal style. "Viktor, you're spoiling me," he scolded.

"Not really, I just like carrying you." Viktor gave him a sunny smile, and he grumbled a little. "Besides, you're always a little wobbly afterward. It wouldn't do for you to stumble."

"You're too considerate," Yuuri protested weakly, and Viktor pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Get used to it. You're pregnant with my baby, silly. I'm allowed to spoil you." He smiled smugly as he walked to the door, and Yuuri unlocked it and slid it aside for him. Makkachin ran back into the room, leaping up onto the bed and landing with a _poof._

"Be good, Makka," Yuuri whispered over his shoulder as the poodle turned circles on the bed and laid down, snuffling happily.

 

-

 

After they had washed up and showered off, they contentedly relaxed in the soothing warm water of the onsen. It felt lovely to Yuuri's slightly sore muscles as he sat with his knees apart, his arms crossed on a smooth stone slab, leaning his cheek on his folded arms. It was so peaceful in the onsen at night with the lights from above reflecting off of the steamy water and the sweet, melodic chirping of bell crickets drifting through the air.

Viktor rested beside him, his wet hair fanned out behind his head; he had his head leaned back onto the stone with his towel pillowed underneath, and his eyes were shut.

Yuuri's eyes roved over Viktor's sculpted profile, admiring how handsome he was. His eyes found the slight dip of a long-healed scar next to Viktor's left eyebrow. "How did you get this?" He inquired, reaching out to touch it, and Viktor breathed a laugh.

"My sister. She threw a spoon at me when I was about seven."

"A _spoon?"_ Yuuri repeated.

"Well, I had thrown a baseball at her, so I deserved it. Had to get a couple of stitches."

"Jesus." Yuuri paused, confused. "I didn't know you had a sister."

Viktor nodded sleepily. "She's older than me by…I don't know. She's in her early thirties."

"What's her name?" And how had he never known about her...?

"Yuliana," Viktor mumbled. Yuuri filed it into his memory; maybe he'd meet her one day. Viktor's hair was practically sparkling in the light of the lamps hanging above, and Yuuri reached to comb through the damp strands with his fingernails.

"Do you ever miss your long hair?" He asked, and Viktor hummed, sounding half asleep.

"Sometimes. It was fun to style, but it was high maintenance. It was soft, though. I liked it while I had it."

"Me, too," Yuuri agreed without thinking, then his eyes widened and his cheeks flooded with heat. Viktor turned his head slightly, giving him an endearing smile.

"You did?"

"I…yeah," Yuuri mumbled, feeling like he was twelve years old again. "I thought it was…really pretty. When I was younger."

Viktor's eyes filled with affection. "Thank you," he said softly, sounding a bit touched.

Yuuri shifted his hips, still feeling bashful, and the new weight in his abdomen made him remember something.

"I'm not supposed to stay in here for more than thirty minutes, don't let me forget." He poked Viktor's shoulder, and Viktor sank further down into the water, breathing out a sigh of pleasure.

"Because of the baby?"

"Right."

"Thirty minutes…" Viktor side-eyed him, looking mischievous. "That's plenty of time, wouldn't you say?"

Yuuri blinked, then his mouth fell open. "No, we are _not_ ," he said in disbelief, giving Viktor a look of reproach. "This is a public place. I don't care how late it is or that people are asleep. No way."

"Aww, come on, you know you've thought about it," Viktor said with a leering grin, and Yuuri smacked a hand to his face.

"That's beside the point."

"So you have!" Viktor crowed, and Yuuri's cheeks turned redder.

"We are not having sex in here!" He hissed.

"You know you want tooo~…" Viktor sang, leaning over him and pressing his chest to Yuuri's back, and Yuuri spluttered, feeling sneaky hands slip around his waist.

"Viktor, my parents would kill us!"

"They'd never know," Viktor countered slyly.

Yuuri turned his frustrated gaze toward the sky, a little horrified at the interested twitch between his legs. "Viktor."

"Think of how romantic it would be! Making love under the stars…oh, of course, we'd have to be quiet. Wouldn't want the entire neighborhood to hear our screams of—"

"Viktor, oh my God."

"Come here, my sexy little Katsudon—"

_"Viktor!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They prolly did it tbh
> 
> I decided to omit knotting from this particular version of the a/b/o dynamic, because I've never cared for it (and it kinda squicks me a little). Hope that doesn't disappoint!
> 
> As usual, thank you all sooo much you for all the support so far!
> 
> Comments make me smile and give me a lot of motivation!
> 
> (P.S., seriously, look up that song and tell me it wouldn't be perfect for Viktor to skate to)
> 
> ♡


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait!
> 
> Smut forecast for this chapter: no sexytimes, just a bit of butt grabbing. ;)

_15 weeks, 5 days_

"That's the head, right there, and here's the little curve of the back…"

Yuuri reclined on an exam table, twiddling his thumbs on his chest, the hem of his short-sleeved shirt pulled up and translucent blue gel slathered on the gentle mound of his lower abdomen. The ultrasound wand was hard and a bit cold against his stomach, but he paid the slight discomfort no mind. His eyes were locked on the monitor, where the fuzzy, crackly image of the baby in his womb was spread across the screen.

"Aww, there's a foot sticking out," the blonde technician cooed and pointed, rubbing lower on his belly with the wand and stilling the frame with the tap of a key.

Sure enough, a teeny leg was extended from the baby's body, as if they were in the middle of a flying kick.

Viktor chuckled from his chair next to the table. "Already trying to shotgun spin," he noted with a grin, and Yuuri laughed, rolling his eyes.

"Look," the woman said in a hushed voice, "movement."

An excited flutter rose in Yuuri's chest at the sight of their baby slowly, lazily stretching inside of him, nubby arms and legs curling up against its tiny body. It was such a surreal sight, one that made a wide smile spread across his face. "When will I be able to feel it?" The thought thrilled him.

"Any time within the next few weeks. It may feel like a slight popping or tapping, very light at first, but gradually becoming more noticeable. Prominent movement will start to come later, around nineteen to twenty weeks, usually." The woman smiled, looking between them. "Would you like to hear the heartbeat?"

"Yes," he and Viktor said simultaneously, then looked at each other and laughed bashfully.

The woman dug the wand into his belly a little more firmly and reached over, steadily increasing the volume on the machine, and soft, wobbly thumps drifted to Yuuri's ears. He rested a hand on his upper belly, a lump rising in his throat.

_That's our baby…_

Viktor's warm hand rested over his own, and Yuuri closed his eyes, letting the steady rhythm flow through him, so alien, but so human. A trembly smile crossed his face.

What a beautiful sound.

"Always so amazing, no matter how many times I hear it," the woman mused, taking the wand off of his belly and holding out a handful of tissues for Yuuri.

"When will we be able to tell the sex of the baby?" Viktor inquired as Yuuri wiped the sticky, messy gel off of his stomach. It was such a pain to completely get off.

"Eighteen to twenty weeks, so not too far off." The woman tapped a few keys on the machine, and the tiny printer underneath the monitor whirred, preparing the photos.

Yuuri swallowed, feeling embarrassed. He'd been avoiding this question like the plague, but he needed to know. "I really don't want to ask this, but, um…" he trailed off, his gaze darting to a random picture on the wall. His cheeks heated. "How will I…um…how exactly will it work? The…the birth part."

The tall woman adjusted her wire-framed glasses, looking a bit amused. "Depends on which route you choose to take. Most omegas in your position opt for a cesarean, but with your particular biology, it's entirely possible to give birth naturally."

Yuuri fell silent for a moment, furrowing his brows. The thought of natural birth was a little off-putting by itself, but he also had no idea how it would work. When he expressed this concern, the woman went to a file cabinet and rummaged around, coming up with a diagram that made Yuuri's ears and cheeks feel like they were on fire.

"This," she trailed her finger along a pink tube on the diagram, "is the supravaginal opening, leading up to the cervix that connects to the uterus. The difference between an omega male and an omega female is right here." She pointed to a small opening that connected to… "this is the anal cervix. It's how you got pregnant in the first place." She smiled at Yuuri's red face. "However, you won't be giving birth from there, but from here, the supravaginal opening." She pointed to the perineum on the diagram. "It's not visible from the outside at this time in your pregnancy, but a few weeks before you deliver, the supravaginal cervix will begin to dilate, and the birth canal will loosen."

Yuuri blinked, processing the new information. He hadn't realized that he even had those organs. "That's…a little strange, but also kind of fascinating." The body of an omega was an amazing thing… "So, as far as…that…compared to a c-section, which option is safer for the baby?" He asked hesitantly, and the woman caught the prints that fell from the printer, slipping them into an envelope and scrawling Yuuri's name on it.

"That also depends on several things. How healthy you are at the time of your delivery, your pelvic structure, etcetera. The decision is entirely yours to make, but if you want an objective answer, then natural birth is statistically less traumatic for the baby, and the recovery time is much shorter." The woman handed him the envelope with a smile. "Unless you have any more questions," Yuuri shook his head, "you're all done for today. Just take your chart to the front desk and you're good to go."

Yuuri slid off of the padded surface, slipping his shoes back on and returning the smile. "Thank you, ma'am." He was glad that a native English speaker had been at the clinic. It made things much easier for Viktor; his Japanese was still improving.

Once they had returned the chart and were back in the cheerfully sunny waiting room, Yuri caught sight of them and unfolded his legs, sweeping to his feet gracefully and tugging his hood over his hair.

"Thank God," he groused under his breath as they walked out the door with several women gazing after them curiously, "That was getting annoying. Do you have any idea how many awkward conversations about pregnancy I endured? More than I ever would have wanted in my entire life." He gave Yuuri an almost sympathetic look. "Do people do that to you? Ask you all kinds of weird questions, because of the…" he angled his head toward Yuuri's belly.

Yuuri stifled a chuckle as they waited on the curb for the taxi they had called, the warm wind ruffling his hair. "Not really, but they don't know, because I hide it. It was probably just because you were alone in the waiting room." Yuri gave a "hmph". "You didn't have to come, you know," Yuuri reminded, and Yuri shrugged.

"Someone has to make sure you two don't get sidetracked. Our flight leaves in forty-five minutes."

The taxi pulled up and they piled into the back, and Yuuri slid the tiny window aside and requested that they be taken to the airport, where his family and friends were most likely already waiting to see them off. Yuuri's health had finally gotten back to normal, so they had reluctantly decided to return to Russia so that Viktor and Yuri could continue practicing under Yakov and Lilia, respectively. The first competition in the series was mere months away, after all.

"You should announce it soon," Yuri stated, giving a pointed glance to Yuuri's abdomen. "It's getting less inconspicuous."

Yuuri tugged at the fabric of his shirt self-consciously. His belly was indeed bigger than it had been when he'd first started showing, and it was definitely noticeable if he wasn't wearing a loose enough shirt. His slender build gave it away.

"We will," Viktor murmured, giving Yuuri's knee a light squeeze. "Very soon."

Yuuri's heart gave a nervous skip, but he laid his hand over Viktor's, grateful for the comfort. As much as he knew it was necessary, he wasn't looking forward to publicly announcing that he was having a baby with Viktor Nikiforov. Not that he was ashamed at all, but he knew that the internet was going to have a field day. They may be hounded by the media, or hell, Viktor's fans may be angry at him…it might be difficult to go anywhere in public for a while. There were so many things that could end up causing them trouble.

But they had to do it.

_I'm proud to be his fiancé, proud to carry his baby, and I'll be proud to marry him. The world needs to know._

He just had to convince himself of it.

Yuri had slumped down in his seat, scrolling through his phone, and Yuuri caught a glimpse of the word "Otabek" at the top of the screen as Yuri typed on his keyboard. A secretive smile pulled on his lips, and he pretended not to notice.

He let out a slow breath, scooting further down in his own seat and leaning his head back onto the leather headrest. His eyes felt heavy; he hadn't gotten much sleep the night before.

Viktor's hand turned over to lace their fingers together. "Tired?"

Yuuri nodded sleepily, closing his eyes. "I'm almost looking forward to getting on the plane, just so I can take a long nap."

"Is it normal for you to be so tired?" Viktor's voice was laced with concern.

Yuuri tried not to sigh. "Yes, Viktor."

Viktor fell silent, but Yuuri could feel the worry radiating off of him. He was always a little on edge if Yuuri was tired or sore in any way, almost like he could feel it, too.

On the plus side, the morning sickness seemed to have completely ended, aside from the occasional mild bout of nausea that was easily remedied with tea. For now, the most discomfort Yuuri had to deal with was tiredness and constant hunger, and being hyperaware of the growing roundness of his belly, taking care that no one saw it in public.

Viktor spoke again a couple of minutes later, his voice quiet and contrite underneath the road noise of the taxi.

"I didn't mean to be a nag, Yuuri. I'm sorry."

Yuuri opened his mouth to reply, but Yuri interrupted him.

"You're both going to have ulcers by the time you're thirty," he sighed, giving them a look of mock pity from the eye uncovered by his bangs.

Yuuri narrowed his eyes and cut him a sideways glance. "You're no help." Yuri just rolled his eyes, yanking his hood down like the rebellious teenager he was.

Yuuri could only hope that their child wouldn't grow up to be as much of a handful as Yuri was. The kid was exasperating. Sometimes, it was almost as if he and Viktor were _already_ parents.

"Don't worry about it, Viktor," he reassured with a pat to Viktor’s knee. Viktor seemed to be appeased, the worried crease between his brows fading.

By the time they got to the airport, Yuuri had managed to catch just enough of a nap to remedy some of his tiredness, trading it for a slight crick in his neck. They paid the taxi driver and stepped out of the taxi, and they didn't get twenty feet to the airport terminal before Yuuri caught a glimpse of a brown blur.

Viktor's eyes widened and he barked out a sharp command in Russian, and Makkachin skidded to a stop and obediently plopped down into a sit, wriggling in place a bit impatiently.

"Slow down," Viktor hissed in a scolding whisper, tugging the poodle's fluffy ears, "you can't jump all over him like you used to. Bad dog, how did you get away from the others?"

Yuuri couldn't help but smile at Makkachin's mournful expression. The dog looked up at him with big, moist eyes, begging for mercy. He knelt down in front of Makkachin, giving him a warm hug.

"Poor puppy, he doesn't know," he cooed, ruffling the fur at Makkachin's back, and the poodle whined, leaning into the touch and burying his nose in Yuuri's shoulder. "You don't know I've got a baby in my tummy, sweet Makka...you were just excited to see me." He dropped a tiny smooch on the bridge of Makkachin's nose, unable to resist. The dog's expression was the epitome of the sad puppy face.

"Spoiled brat," Yuri scoffed.

"He knows better, and I'm going to keep him that way," Viktor said firmly, giving the repentant dog a reproachful look. "He could have seriously hurt you and the baby if he had tackled you to the ground like he always does." Makkachin shied away from his glare, looking up at Yuuri imploringly as if to say 'I didn't mean it!'

Yuuri leaned back, giving Makkachin's fuzzy head another affectionate ruffle. "He'll do better. Right, boy?" Makkachin gave a soft woof, still looking a bit wary.

Viktor sighed, reluctantly smiling. "I'm sure he will."

"I'm so sorry, he got away from me and I lost him for a minute!" Mari's voice came from a ways away, and they both turned to see her jogging toward them, her short hair tousled by the wind and her face exasperated. "He's as strong as an ox. I had no chance in hell."

"Makkaaaa…." Viktor warned, and the dog ducked, looking almost sheepish. If only he could talk; Yuuri was sure he'd have a lot to say in his defense.

"He's sorry, you can tell," Yuuri laughed as he stood, dusting the dirt off of his knees.

Yuri snorted. "He's sorry he got yelled at, but that's about it."

Mari leaned down and clipped the leash back onto Makkachin's collar, gladly handing the lead to Viktor and huffing out a breath. "He's all yours." She tucked a strand of her two-toned hair back underneath her bandanna.

Viktor smiled. "Thank you for looking after him."

As they went through the motions of picking up their tickets and checking their luggage at the terminal, Yuuri was already starting to feel a little homesick; even the airport felt like a part of his home because of how many times he'd been in it. He'd grown used to being in Japan with his family again, and it hurt to think that he wasn't going to see them every day anymore.

He noticed a few people pointing interestedly and whispering, likely recognizing them, and a couple of people were reaching for their phones. Nonchalantly taking his blue jacket from where it was tied around his waist, he slipped it on and zipped it up, pulling the loose fabric away from his belly before anyone could take an incriminating photo.

Far too soon, the time came for them to board the plane. Yuuri's family, plus Minako and the Nishigoris, were all there to see them off, and Yuuri already felt the telltale sting behind his eyes.

Yuuko gave him a loving hug. "You be careful in St. Petersburg," she said, her voice wavering, "mind what you eat, remember to get some light exercise, and don't skip any doctor's appointments. You can always call me if you need any firsthand advice, you know that, right? Don't hesitate."

Yuuri nodded into her shoulder. "I promise, and thank you so much."

He pulled back, and Takeshi clasped his shoulder, giving him a grin. "Be sure to call us and let us know how you're doing even now and then."

"I will."

He knelt down and opened his arms, and the triplets all hugged him at once.

"Send us pictures!"

"Remember not to skate!"

"We're going to miss you so much!"

Yuuri gave a shaky laugh, pulling back and seeing that they all looked sad. He poked Axel's round cheek. "Stop it, you're going to make me cry, too. I'll miss you girls." All three of them gave him tearful smiles. "Remember, not a word about the baby on social media. Alright?" They nodded vigorously.

Minako regarded him with open worry in her eyes, her arms crossed. "Are you absolutely sure about this, Yuuri?" She asked quietly, and he nodded firmly.

"More than anything. Thank you for everything, Minako-sensei. I…" his throat tightened. "I promise I'll keep skating after the baby is born. I'm not letting all of the teaching I've gotten over the years go to waste."

Minako's eyes got a bit misty, and she gave him a quick hug. "You'd better not," she sniffled, patting his back.

As Viktor and Yuri exchanged goodbyes with the others, Yuuri's mother and father hugged him tightly. His mother was crying softly, and his father was obviously trying not to.

"We're going to miss you, son." His father was a man of few words, but the few words he spoke always counted.

"I'll miss you, too," Yuuri choked out, grasping his father's hand on his shoulder.

"You call us if you ever need anything, honey. Please take good care of yourself and our little grandchild," his mother whispered, stroking his hair and kissing his forehead, and he smiled through his own tears.

"I will, kaa-san. Thank you both for everything."

He knew it had to be hard, seeing your child fly back to another country when he was carrying your grandchild. He'd have to call them frequently.

Mari pulled him into a tight hug, and he clutched the back of her shirt in his hands, unable to stop the quiet sob that shook his chest. Her familiar scent wrapped around him, the scent of coffee and tea, with a hint of cigarette smoke. He didn't know how he would deal with her being thousands of miles away again; Mari was his fortress, his source for the best advice.

"You punk," her voice quivered. Yuuri sniffled and drew back, and she brushed a tear from his cheek. "Don't make me come to Russia and make sure you're taking care of yourself."

"I'll try not," Yuuri whispered, and Mari rested their foreheads together.

"You'd better. Call us any time. I expect video chats and baby bump updates."

A hoarse, watery laugh escaped Yuuri's throat. "You can count on it."

"Oh, for God's _sake,"_ Yuri groaned out, scowling disgustedly, "you all act like you'll never fucking see him again for the rest of his life. You'll see him in November at the NHK trophy." Everyone glared at him, and he shrunk back. "Okay, okay, sorry."

Though everyone chuckled, Yuuri's heart felt heavy.

He didn't want to go. It may have been partly due to hormones, but it seemed even harder than usual to wave goodbye to his family and step onto the plane. Their faces were happy, but he could tell how sad they really were. Sad, and worried.

Once they were settled in their seats on the plane, Viktor gave him a concerned look, a wordless question.

Yuuri impatiently wiped away another tear that fell, drawing in a shuddering breath. "I'll be okay. It's just...it's hard to leave them at a time like this."

Viktor looked unsure. "Perhaps…maybe we should have just stayed…" he began, but Yuuri shook his head firmly.

"No, Viktor. You and Yuri need to practice under actual coaches. I'll be just fine, I'm being a baby."

"You can say that again," Yuri scoffed from his seat next to the aisle, leaning his cheek on one hand. Viktor gave him a dark look, but Yuuri patted his knee and subtly shook his head again.

The call for seatbelts rang over their heads, and they obeyed; Yuuri pulled on the belt to make sure it wasn't too tight across his stomach.

His family looked so small waving from the ground as they took off, and Yuuri pressed his hand to the window, feeling the cool glass heat up underneath his palm. The lump returned to his throat.

God, he was going to miss them.

He finally lost sight of them, too high up to spot them any more.

Ignoring the ache in his heart as best he could, he leaned back in his seat and attempted to get some rest.

 

-

 

It was so good to see Yuuri sleeping somewhat peacefully.

Lately, he had trouble getting comfortable at night, what with the newly-rounded shape, and size, of his middle. He was scared of turning over the wrong way and hurting the baby, of all things, so terribly cautious that it interfered with his ability to relax.

Viktor had tried to assure him that it wasn't really something he had to worry about yet, since his belly wasn't very big, but it mostly fell on deaf ears. When Yuuri worried, he went the whole nine yards, and he was too stubborn for his own good.

However, in the reclined seat of the plane, there was no chance of Yuuri turning over onto his stomach. It must have given him some peace of mind, because he was fast asleep. His chest and belly rose and fell slowly in his slumber; his stomach was covered by his jacket, but he still rested his hand on it as he slept, unconsciously protective.

Viktor reached over and gently removed his glasses, hooking them into the neck of his shirt with care, so as not to wake him. Yuri watched him with a frown.

"You shouldn't wait much longer to announce it," he said under his breath, and Viktor looked at him in surprise. Yuri cocked his head with a defensive expression. "What? Am I not allowed to express concern?"

"Excuse me if I find it outrageously out of character," Viktor whispered back, raising a wry brow. "Since when do you care?"

Yuri was quiet for a moment, then sighed. "Viktor, he can't hide it forever. Look at it."

Viktor turned his eyes to Yuuri's abdomen, pursing his lips. To the naked eye, it wasn't much of a distention, but if a keen-eyed person looked hard enough, they'd be able to tell that it was pregnancy, and not just the aftermath of a large meal; it was far too low in Yuuri's belly to be that.

It would take a whole lot of stress off of Yuuri's shoulders if they went ahead and broke the news to the public. Viktor knew how much he was dreading it.

They would have to in the next few days, anyway, once it became apparent to the other skaters that Yuuri would be sitting out the season. The sooner they did it, the better.

"I can try to convince him to do it soon, but…" Viktor felt wary of shoving so many new things onto Yuuri at once. Even though they had lived in St. Petersburg for a few months already, Yuuri was still adjusting. He didn't want to make him even more anxious.

Yuri gave a shrug, fitting his ear buds into his ears. "Just saying. If you two have any sense at all, you won't wait much longer." He tapped on his phone screen and turned away, an obvious dismissal.

Viktor sighed quietly through his nose, leaning back himself and rubbing his eyes.

Yuri was right.

As much as he hated it.

 

-

 

13+ hour flights were something that Yuuri had gotten used to after many years of competitive skating, but it didn't take away the fact that they were long, exhausting, and incredibly annoying. His back definitely wasn't happy with him; something in it had either been slept on wrong, or pulled. It hurt. He tried not to dwell on it, hoping that it would work itself out eventually.

The St. Petersburg airport was mostly vacant, with only a few travelers waiting around for their luggage at the terminal. Despite the early hour of the day, Yuuri was a bit surprised that there were no paparazzi; they normally hounded Viktor wherever he went, especially in his home country. Yuuri stuck his hands in his jacket pockets, already feeling the temperature and humidity difference.

"Awfully quiet in here," he murmured to Viktor as they waited at the baggage reclaim area for their luggage to be sent through. Luckily, the trickle of people that milled about were ignoring them, either unaware of who they were or just not interested in bothering them.

"Indeed it is," Viktor said slyly. Yuuri gave him a curious look. "I may or may not have dropped a couple of hints to the media about which airport we were going to be in." His blue eyes sparkled with mischief, and he held a finger to his lips. "We aren't there, needless to say."

Yuuri sniffed out a laugh, shaking his head. "Always one step ahead."

A bark from their right drew their attention, and they spotted a frustrated Yuri being pulled along by Makkachin on his leash. He had offered to go pick him up from the terminal his crate had been dropped off at, but he'd apparently underestimated the dog's strength.

"Slow down!"

Yuri yanked on the leash, looking comically desperate as Makkachin determinedly trudged onward, practically dragging Yuri behind him. When they reached Viktor and Yuuri, Makkachin trotted up between them and excitedly jumped up onto Viktor, nearly knocking him down with his paws on his chest.

"Heel, you horse!" Yuri exclaimed, then let go of the leash, throwing his hands in the air, huffing. "I give up. This is why I have a cat."

Viktor regained his balance and wrapped his arms around the dog, leaning down and burying his nose in the fluff at Makkachin's neck and hugging him.

"I missed you, too," he laughed, rubbing the curly fur vigorously, and Makkachin licked his cheek, wiggling with joy.

"He's probably glad to be out of that crate," Yuuri said, taking two small travel bowls out of his satchel and digging around for the ziplock bag of kibble he'd packed. When he found it, he knelt and emptied it into one of the bowls, and Makkachin abandoned Viktor and happily dug in. "Yeah, you were hungry, huh?" Yuuri fished a water bottle out of the bag and carefully poured it in the other bowl, giving Makkachin's head a rub.

"They seriously don't feed them during flights?" Yuri asked incredulously, and Viktor shook his head. "Wow. Dicks." The teen turned to the baggage terminal, spotting his suitcase and striding off. It wasn't hard to spot, after all.

"Leopard print," Viktor whispered, shaking his head, "maybe he'll grow out of that one day…"

"I wouldn't count on it," Yuuri replied with a wrinkle of his nose. He braced his hands on his knees and stood with a grunt, drawing in a sharp breath when something in his back twinged strangely. He rubbed the spot with the tips of his fingers, and Viktor reached out to him with a hand at his elbow.

"Are you alright?" He asked, alarmed.

Yuuri nodded. "Yes, I'm fine. My back is just sore from the plane."

He could tell that Viktor wanted to say more, but he refrained, crossing his arms and looking away, conflicted and worried.

Yuuri supposed it was mostly warranted, his health was still a bit unpredictable, after all, but good grief, if he so much as coughed or sneezed, Viktor nearly had a heart attack. He watched Yuuri like a hawk, asking him several times a day how he was feeling, if he felt sick, if he was tired. It was a cross between endearing and irritating.

The nurse pratitioner had told him the previous day that he would have minor aches and pains here and there, due to the significant changes his body was undergoing. Unless the pain was acute or coming in regular intervals, he was told to not worry too much, and he was trying his best not to.

He hadn't expected Viktor to be the one worrying the most.

"Ah, I see our bags," Yuuri said, starting toward the terminal, but Viktor waved him off.

"I'll get them, you stay with Makkachin." He walked away, and Yuuri sighed inwardly.

He was beginning to feel a bit useless.

Makkachin licked his chops, having finished his snack and drained the bowl of water, and turned his attention to Yuuri. Instead of jumping up on him like he had with Viktor, the poodle simply settled down on his haunches in front of Yuuri, gazing up at him and carefully resting his chin on Yuuri's baby bump.

Yuuri's heart warmed, and he smoothed his hand down Makkachin's fluffy head, smiling down at him. "Look at you, being so good," he whispered, and Makkachin closed his eyes, content to be still while Yuuri petted him.

"Not going to rugby tackle you this time, I see," Yuri noted as he walked up, rolling his loudly-printed suitcase behind him.

"Isn't he sweet?" Yuuri grinned, and Yuri curled his lip.

"Saccharine. That's the problem with dogs. At least cats are honest." But he gave Makkachin's head a scratch anyway.

Viktor approached them, pulling the two suitcases, and Yuuri reached out and took the handle of his bag from Viktor's hand, earning a frown.

"I can carry it for you."

"You're making me feel like an invalid." Yuuri did his best to soften his own scowl. "I can do it, but thank you."

Viktor shrugged, looking resigned. "Alright."

Yuuri slipped his other hand into Viktor's and gave him a light squeeze, earning a small smile. _Try to remember, he's just trying to be helpful._

A gruff call of "Yuratchka," came from behind them, and they turned around to see Yuri's grandfather waving to his grandson from the door. Yuri's face lit up, and he grasped the handle of his suitcase and nodded to both of them, shoving his other hand in his jacket pocket.

"See you at practice." With the simple, curt phrase, the teen was off, his blond ponytail swaying against his neck.

They smiled after him sadly. Yuuri had sort of grown used to having him around. Like an annoying, disgruntled sibling.

He'd almost miss seeing him every day.

"Shall we go?" Viktor asked, holding out his arm with an easy smile, and Yuuri slipped his hand through Viktor's looped elbow, wrapping Makkachin's leash around his other wrist and taking his suitcase handle.

"Let's. I can't wait to get home." He purposefully used the word.

He didn't miss the way Viktor's eyes brightened.

 

-

 

When he had first moved into Viktor's apartment, it had been sparse. It was obvious that Viktor had hardly spent any time there before he met Yuuri. The furniture had been pristine, barely used, and the space had seemed vacant and lonely, even cold.

As the months had progressed, however, little things had changed for the better. A fluffy new blanket appeared on the couch, taken from Yuuri's room back in Hasetsu. Two mugs instead of just one sat in the kitchen cabinet, one covered in poodles, the other decorated with ice skates. More than one towel hung from the rack in the bathroom. An extra toothbrush rested in the holder next to the other.

Pictures began appearing on the wall and on the refrigerator. Candid snapshots of the other skaters, their friends, practicing their routines. A smiling, posing photo of Viktor, Yuuri, and Yuri holding up peace signs at a restaurant in Hasetsu. A soft, intimate picture that Loop had secretly captured of Viktor combing Yuuri's hair by candlelight after a performance, their faces relaxed and serene. A framed picture on the coffee table of Viktor and Yuuri on either side of a happy Makkachin, kissing him on both fluffy cheeks.

A wistful smile turned Yuuri's lips up.

One day, they would have pictures of their child around their house, as well.

As if reading his mind, Viktor stood from where he was rummaging in his open suitcase, taking out an envelope and removing one of the prints.

He tacked the ultrasound scan to the refrigerator with a heart-shaped magnet that Lutz had insisted they take with them, standing back to admire his handiwork. It looked perfectly at home among the other photos.

Yuuri walked up beside him, slipping an arm around his waist and leaning his cheek against the strong shoulder.

"What are you thinking about?" Yuuri questioned softly. Viktor's hand came up to rest against the small of his back.

"How blessed we are." Yuuri could hear the smile in his voice. He hummed in agreement and let go, taking his jacket off and hanging it on the wooden pegs next to the door. Makkachin snuffled around in the corners and behind the furniture, getting reacquainted with the living space.

"What do you want for lunch?" Yuuri asked, opening a cabinet, but Viktor shook his head, laying a hand on his shoulder.

"We're both exhausted and jet lagged, let's just make some sandwiches or something."

"That's fine by me," Yuuri agreed. He opened the fridge and was met with a carton of eggs and a cucumber. He blinked. "Um."

Viktor gave a short laugh over Yuuri's shoulder, the puff of air ruffling a few strands of his hair. "Ah, well, maybe I should go actually get stuff to make sandwiches first."

Yuuri shut the fridge and turned around. "I'll go with—" he began, but a soft finger rested on his lips.

"I'll go, and you can stay here and take a nap. You can barely keep your eyes open." Viktor's fingers combed his bangs to the side, tucking them behind his ear.

It was true. Even though he'd slept for a few hours on the flight, Yuuri was still unusually tired. He stifled a yawn at the mention of sleep.

"Oh, alright. This once, you can have your way."

"Good!" Viktor dropped a kiss on his forehead and gave him a little push. "Off to bed with you."

Yuuri gave a mock frown. When he turned around, he squeaked as he felt a palm smoothly grip under one of his butt cheeks. He whipped around, feeling his face heat up, and Viktor's eyes were big and innocent.

"Yes?"

Yuuri laughed slowly and deliberately. "You're getting payback for that," he threatened, and Viktor stepped closer, tipping his chin up with a delicate touch.

"Looking forward to it," he whispered, and Yuuri stuck his lip out in a pout.

"You're impossible." But he leaned up to drop a kiss on Viktor's smiling lips. When they drew back, Viktor looked amused.

"You love me anyway."

"Mmm, I do." Yuuri gave his lips another peck and stepped away, calling for Makkachin. The dog bounded out of the bedroom. "Will you feed him before you go? I imagine he's hungry again."

"Of course. Rest well." Viktor's fingers lightly touched his back as he walked past Yuuri to pick up the dog food, and Yuuri heard him talking to Makkachin in a hushed, excited voice as he left the room, looking forward to some sleep in an actual bed.

He didn't even bother to put pajamas on when he reached it, he just removed his glasses and stripped down to his boxer briefs. He slipped beneath the cotton sheets, reveling in the smooth, clean texture against his skin and patting himself on the back for remembering to wash them the day before they had left for Hasetsu.

He was asleep in less than a minute.

 

-

 

When he clawed his way back to consciousness, his mouth and throat were dry; he must have been sleeping with his mouth open. He winced in embarrassment at the cold, damp spot of saliva on the sheets, pressed against his cheek. A quick glance at the clock informed him that he'd slept for a little over an hour.

He arched his back, stretching his arms and yawning, then exhaling deeply and rubbing his eyes. He felt much better and more rested, but now, of course, he was starving. He tossed the sheets back and turned onto his back, squinting down at the small mound of his belly. _Can't let me get a moment's rest without demanding food, can you?_ A fond smile turned his lips up, and he smoothed one hand down the bump.

Slipping his glasses on and pulling on a pair of Viktor's sweatpants and a shirt from his suitcase, he padded out of the room, sniffing. He smelled and heard bacon frying from the kitchen, and it made his stomach rumble interestedly.

Viktor was standing at the stove, humming softly to himself and frying bacon in the cast iron skillet that Yuuko had gotten them as an engagement present. The domestic sight brought a smile to Yuuri's face.

Feeling mischievous, he snuck up behind Viktor and pressed himself flush against his back, slipping one hand behind the apron he was wearing and sliding it down into the front of his jeans.

Viktor went rigid and stopped humming, drawing in a surprised gasp through his nose. He turned his head, his one visible eye narrowing to a slit.

"You little sneak," he muttered. His jaw clenched as Yuuri's fingers teased just below the waistband of his underwear. Viktor's skin was warm, and so very soft and smooth.

"Told you," Yuuri whispered against the back of his neck, and he felt Viktor shiver.

"Yuuri…" he was trying to be stern, but Yuuri could tell he was grinning. "Let's at least eat something before you jump my bones."

"Oh, alright…" Yuuri pouted, removing his hand from Viktor's jeans, but squeezing his ass cheeks sharply before pulling away, earning another lovely gasp. _Sweet revenge._ "What are you making, anyway?" Yuuri ducked his head under Viktor's arm, eyeing the bacon hungrily. His stomach gave another growl.

"Ah, I just thought a bacon sandwich sounded good, maybe some lettuce and tomato and swiss on it. I'm assuming you want one, too."

"Yes, please." Yuuri ventured into the living room, picking up his phone from where it was charging on the coffee table and curling up on the couch. He stuck his bare feet underneath the plush, dusty blue blanket, loving the cushy softness.

Scrolling through his text logs, he answered a few messages from his family and Phichit, letting them know that they'd landed safely and were back home. Phichit had sent him a snapchat from the rink, holding up a peace sign, and he answered with one in turn.

One message from an unfamiliar number caught his eye, and he sat up a little further, his brow creasing.

_yuuri, it's mila. yuri just told me you won't be skating the season, are you okay?_

He took a deep breath, anger simmering in his chest. _Should have known he couldn't keep his mouth shut_. He was going to give that brat a stern talking to next time he saw him…

He texted back. _I'm fine! Remind me to tell Yurio not to gossip so much._

She almost immediately replied. _but what's wrong with you? please tell me you didn't injure yourself._

Yuuri felt the familiar dread settle behind his sternum.

Their time was running out.

They'd have to tell people soon. Maybe even today or tomorrow.

He nervously mulled the thought over, chewing his lip. It wasn't going to be easy.

He tapped rapidly. _Seriously, I'm fine. You'll know why soon enough, trust me. Just please don't talk about it too much with anyone, okay? It's kind of a secret at the moment_.

_ah, okay, i promise. as long as you're alright…i'm sorry, it just worried me. sorry to be a bother!_

_No, no, thank you for the concern, I appreciate it._

_okay. i'll let you go, i'm supposed to be practicing, haha._

_Have fun. Smack Yurio on the back of the head for me._

_gladly_.

He set his phone down for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose. Of all the people to tell, at least Yuri had chosen Mila. She wasn't really a gossip when it came to serious situations. He couldn't imagine how fast the media would have known if Yuri had told someone untrustworthy.

He opened his mouth to voice his frustration to Viktor, but he was cut off by a squeal.

"Yuuri, this website says that our baby is the size of an apple right now!" He turned around to see Viktor clutching his phone to his chest, his eyes wet and sparkling with love. "It's so _little!"_

Yuuri stared at him for a moment, then broke into peals of laughter, falling over onto the couch. He just couldn't help it; the happiness on Viktor's face was so adorable. It was still a huge relief to see him so excited, when Yuuri had previously thought that he wouldn't want the baby at all.

"Yuuri?" Viktor was leaning over him, looking a bit confused.

He rose up on his knees and leaned over the back of the couch, pulling Viktor into an enthusiastic kiss. Viktor made a startled sound, dropping his phone on the couch and cupping the back of Yuuri's neck with one hand, leaning forward and kissing and licking into his mouth with equal fervor.

Yuuri broke away, panting. "You are so cute," he breathed another laugh, and a sweet smile spread across Viktor's face.

"That's my line." Viktor pulled him into a hug, giving a contented sigh. "I love you," he whispered into Yuuri's hair.

Yuuri smiled against the soft skin over Viktor's collarbone. "I love you, too."

Viktor's fingers brushed across one side of his throat, gently rubbing the source of his scent, and he leaned into the touch. It felt so nice…

An ear-piercing beep shattered the quiet, and Viktor flinched, then gasped and rushed to the kitchen.

"The bacon!"

Yuuri stifled a snort.

 

-

 

The next morning, after a lengthy discussion, Yuuri sat on the bed with his legs crossed, Viktor sitting across from him with Makkachin curled up in his lap. The poodle didn't seem to realize that he was too big to be a lap dog; he took up Viktor's entire lap and more, and no matter how much he curled up, he wouldn't fit. No one ever denied him, though. It was impossible.

"How are we going to do this?" Yuuri asked, dreading it with every breath. Makkachin's fur caught the morning light and glittered, as did the ring on Viktor's finger as he slowly stroked the poodle's fur, looking much calmer than Yuuri felt.

"It's up to you. We can do it however you want, as long as it gets the message across." Viktor's blue eyes caught the sunlight from the window, sea green and gold dancing in his irises.

Yuuri hesitated, fiddling with his hands in his lap, twisting his own ring on his finger. He was horrible with words; that much had been clear throughout his schooling. Speaking aloud, he was fairly well-spoken, but not so much in writing.

"We could always post a picture," he said uneasily.

Viktor's eyes roved over his face, searching his eyes knowingly. "Would that make you uncomfortable?" He asked, and Yuuri looked down at the bed, smoothing out a small spot on the grey comforter with his fingertips.

"Maybe a little, but it would be the easiest way." It was kind of an awful thought. The entire Internet would see that he couldn't be a responsible adult and use protection. Of course, he was happy about it now, but it still bothered him what people would think.

Viktor was quiet for a moment, then he spoke, his voice thoughtful. "How about this. We can post a picture, but I'll write an explanation to go along with it, so you don't have to. I'll keep it clear and concise."

Yuuri nodded gratefully. "That's fine. You're good at writing. Now, where to take the picture…" He got up from the bed with a huff, walking to their floor-length mirror. "Hm, this one is too small to fit both of us…" he ducked into the bathroom. The mirror in there was much bigger, floor to ceiling. The lighting was rather nice, as well. "In here?"

"That would be best, I think." Viktor's hands gently rested on his shoulders, turning him around to face him. Yuuri looked up into Viktor's eyes, seeing so much concern for him darkening the vibrant color. "Are you sure you're ready?" Viktor asked quietly, his brow pinched in worry.

Yuuri reached up to take his hands, rubbing Viktor's bony knuckles with his thumbs. "I'm sure." He somehow managed to keep his voice from cracking. If he didn't stamp it down quickly, anxiety was going to get the better of him.

Viktor dug his phone out of his pocket, accessing his photo app. "Here. Would it be okay if you take it, and I…" he knelt down in front of Yuuri on the powder blue bath mat, looking up at him, his eyebrows raised.

Despite the storm in his mind, a smile touched Yuuri's lips. "Sure," he said softly. He held the phone up, gazing into the mirror at their reflections. Viktor loosely wrapped his arms around Yuuri's thighs, briefly rubbing his soft cheek on the baby bump.

"When you're ready."

Yuuri reached down to brush Viktor's fine hair out of his eye, his fingertips trailing down his pretty jawline.

"I'm ready," he whispered.

They posed, and the camera shutter snapped.

Viktor craned his neck, looking at the phone screen, and Yuuri's heart may have fluttered a bit at the way his face softened. "That's such a good picture," he murmured, resting his cheek and ear on Yuuri's belly again. "We should get it framed."

Yuuri studied the picture. He was turned sideways in the mirror, and he'd managed to give a subdued, genuine smile, down at Viktor rather than smiling at the camera. A light blush touched his face, and the morning sunlight sparkled in their hair. He had pulled his shirt up to his chest, and Viktor was pressing a kiss to the pronounced curve of his belly. It was obvious, now, that he was pregnant and not just gaining weight. The distention was unmistakeably from a baby.

He pulled up Viktor's contacts and sent the picture to his own phone, then handed Viktor his phone back, nerves beginning to creep up on him again. "Would you…?"

Viktor rose to his feet, dropping a kiss on Yuuri's cheek. "Of course. I'll let you read what I write before I post it."

They returned to the bed and Yuuri laid back down, resting on his side. Makkachin snuggled up under his arms, giving his cheek a soft lick. With Viktor, he was still just as rough and playful as he'd always been, but ever since he'd been scolded, the poodle been incredibly careful around Yuuri. He most likely didn't know the reason, but it was obvious that he could sense that something was different about Yuuri, and that he had to be very gentle with him.

Yuuri combed his fingers through the warm, curly fur, listening to the tap of Viktor's fingers on his phone screen and desperately trying to quell the panic that whispered in his ear.

_In a few minutes, the entire world is going to know your biggest secret._

_They're going to hate you. You already stole Viktor from the ice once. They'll see this as an attempt to do it again._

_This is a bad idea_.

Unbidden tears flooded his eyes, and he tried to fight them back, curling up against Makkachin. The familiar, breathless queasiness was welling up inside him.

What if it was true?

What if people _did_ hate them for this?

What if they hated their _baby?_

The very thought made his chest feel hot and constricted. A tear trickled down his temple and he closed his eyes so hard that he saw floaty streaks of blue and green.

"Yuuri…?"

Viktor's quiet voice came from behind him on the bed, and hesitant fingers touched between his shoulder blades. He didn't trust himself to speak.

"We can wait, if you need to."

The words were meant to comfort, but Yuuri's mind was already going to bad places, too lost in the train of thought.

Did Viktor really want the world to know that he was having a baby with Katsuki Yuuri, someone who was supposed to be his student? He could see it on the front pages of the gossip magazines now. This sort of thing was cannon fodder for them.

He hadn't previously considered that he may not even be the only target; the media would double down on Viktor as well. Viktor would have to endure ridicule because of this.

And it was all Yuuri's fault.

"Yuuri…" the words came out in a soft, sad sigh, and Viktor's hand slowly rubbed up and down his arm. "Did I do something to…"

Yuuri shook his head tightly, his throat burning and his body trembling, and he felt a warm lick on his hand and heard a whine from Makkachin.

He heard Viktor sigh again, and the sound tore down the thin wall he had attempted to built around his emotions. A badly stifled sob shook his shoulders and he turned his face into the pillow, not even caring that his glasses were digging into his face.

"No, oh, Yuuri, please don't cry…" Viktor pleaded, sounding a bit frantic. Yuuri felt the bed dip as Viktor scooted closer, smoothing his hand down the back of Yuuri's hair. "Please, love, tell me what I can do to help."

Yuuri sobbed softly into the pillow, feeling like something was wrapped around his neck. "I-it's not your fault," he managed to force out. He lifted a hand to wipe his red face.

"Will you turn over so I can see you?" The question was timid.

Yuuri reluctantly turned over, settling his head back onto the pillow and sniffling. Viktor removed his glasses and set them between them, concern on his face.

"Is this hormones again?" He asked quietly, catching a tear with a cool fingertip.

"I th-think some of it might be," Yuuri conceded weakly, "but I'm just…I'm scared." Viktor leaned closer, resting his hand on Yuuri's cheek.

"Why are you scared?" His voice was barely there, so very gentle.

"People are going to be shocked. They may be mad. I don't want you to…to have to go through all this trouble, because of me." Another hot tear trickled over Yuuri's nose, and he panted shallowly.

Viktor's thumb wiped the tear away. "I don't care what people think, and you shouldn't, either. I'm incredibly happy with you and our baby, and nothing that anyone can say can change that." His face grew sad. "You're acting like you're a burden to me."

"I _am!"_ Yuuri sobbed out frustratedly, "I'm exhausted all the time, I snap at you over stupid things, and I can't even get through a whole day without crying!"

He was gently pulled close to Viktor's chest, and Yuuri wrapped his arms around him, crying into his shoulder. A small part of his mind knew that he was being irrational, that it was normal for him to feel this way, but he couldn't help it. Guilt and sadness pressed on him from all sides.

Viktor held him loosely, his fingertips stroking soothing paths up and down Yuuri's back through his shirt, but Yuuri could detect the uneasiness, the uncertainty in his body language. Viktor had said it himself, he wasn't always very confident in his ability to comfort when Yuuri cried.

_I'm probably just making him uncomfortable…_

The thought made him curl up even further in shame.

"Yuuri, shhh…it's okay…you need to try to take deep breaths…" Viktor's voice was soft, but his words were firm. Yuuri knew he was right; he was well on his way to a panic attack.

 _Over nothing_ , his mind taunted.

He forced himself to breathe deeply, closing his eyes and pressing his face into the curve of Viktor's throat. His scent filled Yuuri's lungs, icy cool and comforting.

"That's the way…" Viktor's cheek rubbed his temple, and a kiss was pressed to the shell of his ear. "You're doing fine. I'm right here…"

He let out a whimper as the panic wore down, leaving him shaky and feeling far too weak and vulnerable. God, he hated that. Makkachin scooted away and curled up for a nap, as if he knew that Viktor could provide more comfort than he could and he didn't have to worry about Yuuri anymore.

Viktor's thumbs tenderly massaged Yuuri's throat on either side, and another kiss touched his forehead. "I love you so much, my strong, beautiful Yuuri…" the words of comfort lifted him like a gentle cloud, wrapping around him, slowing his frantic heartbeat. He melted into the touch, unwittingly letting out a soft, needy moan from the back of his throat.

Apparently it encouraged Viktor, because he raised up on his elbows, and the next thing Yuuri knew, Viktor was leaning over him, their necks pressed together.

He drew in a shallow breath and slid his arms around Viktor's waist, caught by surprise at the intimate gesture. Viktor's throat rubbed against the side of his neck, and the surge of pheromones it gave off filled Yuuri's lungs, an almost physical presence that soothed every frazzled nerve in his body. He dimly realized that his eyes had fluttered shut and his lips had tipped up in a hazy smile.

He felt so warm, so safe and cared for. The anxiety was easing away, replaced with a quiet calm.

Viktor drew back slightly, kissing the corner of his mouth with a feather-light carefulness, and Yuuri leaned up slightly, asking for a full kiss. Viktor's lips sealed over his own, and he made a little noise of contentment, savoring Viktor's sensual taste and opening his mouth into the kiss.

Though they were centimeters apart, it wasn't a sexual touch. It was innocent, tender. So very close, touching his innermost being. Their scents drifted around each other, one light and wispy, almost sweet, the other deep and pleasantly musky. The essences mingled in the air between them, becoming one.

They lay against each other, eventually growing still. Viktor's head rested on Yuuri's chest, silky strands of the silver fringe fanning out on his shirt. He sifted his fingers through it, always in awe of how soft and light it was.

"Thank you," he whispered, and Viktor turned his head to plant a kiss on the dip of his collarbone.

"My pleasure. Your scent is changing, you know."

"Oh?" Yuuri raised his eyebrows.

"Mm. It's…" Viktor paused. "…warmer."

Yuuri breathed out a shaky laugh. "That makes no sense."

"No, it does. It's like…your scent has been warmed up with something different. Like when…" he was struggling to find the right words. "Like when you add a little bit of salt to something sweet. It changes it, yes, but it also makes it the same, but more…flavorful." Viktor's head went limp on his chest. "I have no idea what I'm saying." They both laughed softly.

Yuuri was intrigued. "Do you think it's because I'm pregnant?"

"Perhaps. I've heard of it happening. It's not enough of a change for other people to notice, but I can tell." One of Viktor's hands lightly rested on his bump, thumb stroking the soft skin beneath his navel.

Yuuri's heart felt lighter. The baby was changing him, slowly, but surely.

He felt significantly calmer about what they were about to do. "What did you end up writing?"

Viktor's hand stilled on his belly, then he reached to pick up his phone. After a few seconds of silence, probably him reading over what he'd written, he simply held the phone out to Yuuri, and Yuuri read the caption underneath the photo they had taken. It was written from Viktor's perspective, as it would be posted on his own Instagram, since he had the greater number of followers.

Nervousness still tied Yuuri's stomach in knots, but as he read the sweet message, he couldn't help but smile at Viktor's eloquence and charm.

"That's perfect."

Viktor's face lit up. "Really?"

"Really. Here, you post it, I'll sit here and second guess myself into oblivion if I try to do it." He handed Viktor his phone back, and Viktor took it, still looking a bit unsure.

"Are you absolutely sure?" He asked.

Yuuri took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

The world needed to know.

"Yes."

Viktor hesitated for only a moment more, then his finger pressed the 'post' icon.

Now, they waited.

-

 

 **v-nikiforov**  
[](http://i.imgur.com/OfGJJIb)

A couple of you already knew this was coming, but we have an exciting announcement: @katsuki-y and I will be adding a tiny new member to our little family in late December! (人´ ♡ ` )  
It came as a complete surprise and a bit of a shock to us, but we honestly couldn't be more thrilled. Yuuri will be sitting out this skating season, but he will return to the ice next year!  
We do ask that during this time we be shown respect of privacy. Stress is a big no-no for Yuuri and the baby right now! Thank you in advance for understanding!  
♡ 1,403,256 likes

  
**yuri-plisetsky** about fuckin' time you announced it  
3,801 likes

 **cherryblossompanic** WHAT   
32 likes

 **mila-b** I knew it! I'm so happy for both of you!  <3  
1,286 likes

 **g-popo** oh my, that's a wonderful surprise indeed :)  
990 likes

 **DJ245** oh my god, what? I didn't even know they were together   
1 like

 **AriaAnimation**  what rock have you been under, mate   
     868 likes

 **inasingletouch** HOLY HELLLLLLLLL, MY BABIES ARE HAVING A BABY   
63 likes

 **christophe-gc**  WHAT THE FUCK YOU TWO @v-nikiforov @katsuki-y #yallimshook  
4,813 likes

 **phichit-chu** Eeeeeeeee!! I knew already but congrats again!! :D #victorybaby #unclephichit #iwasthefirstonetheytold  
3,397 likes

 **yuri-plisetsky** lol no you weren't eyebrows, i was  
     1,245 likes

 **cfoureighty6** this cant be real, theres no way katsuki would just give up skating like that :/  
3 likes

 **enigmatic-kitten** umm it's perfectly fine for him to want to take off if he's pregnant, how rude? Congratulations to the happy couple!  
     142 likes

 **88sern88** Whoa! That's kinda awesome.  
92 likes

 **Darski2746** omg…I just teared up, this is so incredibly sweet. Just look at the love on their faces, it's obvious that they adore each other. They are seriously the cutest couple. ♡ Congratulations on the new addition!  
68 likes

 **RegalChihuahua** HOLY FUCKIN SHIT, IMAGINE HOW PRETTY THAT BABY WILL BE AAAAAAA   
284 likes

 **Tart23** this is so cute, omg, look at that tiny belly kiss  <3  
302 likes

 **meepmeep-minami** OH. MY. GOD. I AM FLAILING  
2,401 likes

 **Wubwub90**  SAME?????  
     20 likes

 **+guanghongji+** whaaaaaaaat :D  
845 likes

 **sara-crisp** OH MY GOODNESS YOU'RE KIDDING ME, THAT IS ADORABLE!!!! My sincerest congratulations, @v-nikiforov and @katsuki-y!!! (I like that hashtag, @phichit-chu! #victorybaby)  
1,291 likes

 **Turnonthelight13** ????? What even #imconfused  
1 like

 **48kaljd**  there's not much to be confused over tbh #didyoueventakebiology #imsohappyforthem #victorybaby  
     176 likes

 **mickey-crispino** wow, that awesome. congrats you two  
934 likes

 **Deeznyuts** …that's unexpected, but also super cool  
67 likes

 **v-nikiforov**  
  
most recent ultrasound pic ^_^ #thatsourwiddlebaby  
25k likes

 **meepmeep-minami** *DYING WHALE NOISES* D'''': OMG SO LITTLE  
     5k likes

 **christophe-gc**  you two never tell me anything?? i'm??? #worldssmallestviolin #seriouslycongratstho #victorybaby #doigettobeanuncletoo  
2,234 likes

 **katsuki-y** Sorry Chris, and everyone! We still love you all, haha. Thank you all so much! :) (and of course you do, Chris, lol)  
     21k likes

 **christophe-gc**  @katsuki-y aaaawwwwwwwwwwww ♡♡♡  
          2,008 likes

 **lovenectar897** CONGRATULATIONS OH MY GOODNESS #victorybaby  
19 likes

 **otabek-altin** Congratulations. #victorybaby  
884 likes

 **Nothisispatrick** oh mah gawd, someone help me up, I've fallen #victorybaby  
25 likes

 **leo-de-la-iglesia** wow, that's super exciting! Congrats! #victorybaby #cutesthashtagever  
596 likes

 **Queenofsass** !!!!!! HELP ME, I DIE #victorybaby  
49 likes

 **Jjleroy!15** well well, someone's been busy ;^)   
110 likes

 **yuri-plisetsky** can you fucking not for once in your life  
     24 likes

 **Jjleroy!15** hey now, I was just kidding… :P I offer my congratulations, of course! Best wishes to the new parents! #victorybaby  
          2,956 likes

 **Sk8rsquad** THEY'RE HAVING A BABY TOGETHER, I CANT BREATHE, SEND MEDICS #victorybaby #ishipthemsohard  
210

 **Emil-Neko** oh goodness! All the congratulations, you guys!! #victorybaby  
900 likes

 **NeuroticPickle** fhdkdhdkaldjjdksj look how happy they both look, omg, I'm crying #victorybaby  
103 likes

 **sukeota3sisters** FINALLY! #victorybaby  
87 likes

 **phichit-chu** YOU GUYS, #VICTORYBABY IS TRENDING AT NUMBER ONE WORLDWIDE, KEEP THIS POSITIVITY GOING!! ♡♡♡  
12k likes

>See 128,375 more comments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Yurio's words, it's about fuckin time.
> 
> Those pics were SO much fun to so. Especially the ultrasound. Babiiieees ;3;
> 
> Comments are adored like tiny valentine's candies!
> 
> Until next time! ♡
> 
> (P.S., Thank you to Tumblr user @autumn-leaves-falling for inspiring the #victorybaby hashtag!)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut forecast: cloudy with a 100% chance of mutual fingering.
> 
> Also: content warning. Proceed with caution.
> 
> At the paragraph beginning with 'Viktor stood in the empty room...' play [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=PLjmaGYAtBvtenbP1Y-N0Stzqo9VS8KlUi&params=OAFIAVgJ&v=i-p4hntPAuY&mode=NORMAL) in another tab.
> 
>  
> 
> ~~*hides*~~

_18 weeks, 6 days_

  
Viktor's bangs drifted around his face as he spun in place, lifting one hand above his head and allowing his eyes to slip shut.

His heart felt so full. The melody and words of the song in his ears were beautiful and loving, achingly longing. As usual, the climax of the song made his eyes sting, there was so much raw passion and emotion in it.

The last jump, a quad flip, was effortless and clean, so light and smooth that he barely even felt the landing.

His lips moved along to the final chorus, and he launched into his final spin, posture rising and falling until both hands were above his head, then as the final chord was struck, his left hand rested over his heart and the ring on his right hand was lifted to his lips.

 _A little sloppy on the second to last spin,_ his mind informed him, and he dropped his arms with a huff, wiping his forehead and fanning his shirt. His stomach was beginning to feel empty, anyway. Break time.

Viktor took his earbuds out and skated his way off of the ice, tossing a compliment and a smile in Georgi's direction, and it was received with a lift of the dark-haired skater's chin and a sparkle of his eye. Viktor was glad to see that he was happier these days.

The rink was busy today. The sound of people milling about, ice shredding underneath skates, Yakov's gruff voice, and the sharp, militant clap of Lilia's hands filled the air. Everyone was practicing so hard; the first competition in the series, Skate Canada, was October thirteenth, a little under three months away.

Having conceptualized them months before in his head, Viktor had completely finished choreographing both of his own programs, and all that was left to do was practice and finish his costumes. It gave him a chance to relax and tend to Yuuri as he needed to.

The internet had nearly collapsed in on itself when they'd announced Yuuri's pregnancy on Instagram a few weeks prior. Aside from the few sour fans who were a bit put off by it, page after page of positive comments flooded the thread underneath the photo. Hundreds of thousands of well-wishes, enthusiastic fangirling, and heartfelt congratulations, so many that despite being a little overwhelmed, Yuuri had shed a few tears. He had stubbornly blamed it on hormones.

Viktor smiled. Yuuri was adorable.

"Watch where you're going."

Viktor started, looking up from the ice and swerving out of Yuri's way. "Ah, sorry."

Yuri skidded to a stop, narrowing his eyes at Viktor. "What's your problem? Your head's even more in the clouds than it usually is."

An ambiguous shrug lifted one of Viktor's shoulders. "I'm fine. Just a lot on my mind, I suppose."

"Please. Anyone with half of a brain would know something's wrong." Yuuri looked at him like he was a particularly stupid child, waiting for an explanation.

Viktor just lifted one corner of his lips in the sweet, cold smile he knew Yuri hated so much.

Yuri scoffed, turning away on his skates, but then turned his head. His eyes glanced off to the side, and he looked reluctant to say any more. "Katsudon doing alright?" He asked begrudgingly, "haven't seen him in a while."

The smile on Viktor's face turned genuine at the nickname. "He's doing well, he just hasn't quite felt up to getting out lately."

"What's wrong with him? Is he okay?" Yuri never met Viktor's eyes, but Viktor could feel the concern in his body language and tone, despite the effort to hide it.

"Yes, he's okay. Just a bit tired."

Yuri visibly relaxed, then shoved off with one foot and skated away, prompted by Lilia's yelling from the other side of the rink. The smooth muscles of his back tensed underneath the tight black short-sleeved shirt he wore.

Viktor watched him go, feeling a bit nostalgic. Yuri was getting taller, and his flaxen hair nearly touched his shoulder blades now; his shoulders were broadening with every passing week. He seemed to be mostly keeping his wispiness so far, but gaining muscle mass, trading his delicate, fairy-like physique for something more muscular and wiry. Even his voice was getting deeper.

He was growing up.

Growing up, and getting very perceptive.

Yuri was right, Viktor's head really was in the clouds lately. He tried not to let it bother him, but he supposed some of his distractedness was warranted.

In the past couple of weeks, Yuuri had been so tired. His back was beginning to get sore if he stood up for too long, and his sleep was increasingly elusive. Some days, he would wake up and feel fine, but most days, he dragged around, too exhausted to protest much when Viktor insisted that he rest.

One thing Viktor didn't particularly like about this whole thing was that Yuuri had been having a lot of headaches in the past few weeks. One had been more of a migraine than a normal headache, the pain so intense that poor Yuuri had thrown up at one point. It had lasted several hours, unable to be medicated very much since the medicines Yuuri could take were very limited. He had ended up covering his eyes with a sleep mask and curling up in bed with the curtains drawn, to block out the light. Viktor had felt so awful for him. He hated seeing him in such agony.

One day, three days ago, Yuuri had barely gotten out of bed.

Viktor had practically wrung his hands, but Yuuri had assured him that he felt fine, and that he was just worn out because he'd been up for most of the night with heartburn. Viktor had decided to stay home from practice that day to keep an eye on him, and they had lounged in the bed with Makkachin and watched movies.

Even though he knew it was normal for a pregnant person to be tired, he still couldn't shake the disquiet. He wondered if all expectant fathers felt this way…

He slipped on his skate guards after drying his blades and stepped off of the ice, heading for his duffel bag to grab his wallet and go get something to eat. When he unzipped the pocket it was in, however, he was greeted with a rounded square box, a thermos, and a note in Yuuri's familiar handwriting. He held it up, raking his sweat-dampened bangs out of his eye. A slow smile spread across his face.

_Packed this for you last night, since I felt like it. I hope you like it._

_Love you._

Viktor's heart nearly swelled out of his chest, and he covered his blushing cheeks with his hands, internally swooning. _What did I do to deserve someone as sweet as you, Yuuri?_ He was going to shower him in kisses when he got home.

After heating the lunch that Yuuri had packed for him in the break room microwave, Viktor rested on a bench, sipping the hot miso soup and eating the sticky rice. His eyes followed Yuri as he skated across the rink, following the rhythm of Lilia's claps and shooting her an exasperated look every now and then when she told him to tighten up. He had his hair tied back now, and the blond ponytail was whipping against his neck and back as he danced across the ice like a golden leaf on the wind.

Viktor saw a lot of his younger self in Yuri. Same wiry build, same long, shiny hair, same ridiculous potential. Same grace and poise, same infuriating stubbornness. Despite that, he was proud of the kid. He was well on his way to becoming one of the top figure skaters in the world.

He slipped his phone out of his pocket and sent Yuuri a quick text.

_> >You are an angel. Thank you for the miso, it's yummy._

After a couple of minutes, the little blue chat bubble popped up.

_< <Aww, you're welcome, I'm glad you like it. Are you having a good day so far?_

_> >Yep, eating lunch right now. I'll be a couple more hours and then I'll be home. Stopping by the store on the way back, is there anything you need?_

There was a pause, and Viktor could almost feel the hesitation, then the message popped up.

_< <Could you pick up some mint chocolate chip ice cream?_

Viktor blinked confusedly, then typed. >> _Don't you hate that flavor?_

_< <I do, but apparently your child doesn't. -_-_

A wide grin caused the corners of Viktor's eyes to crinkle.

_> >That is adorable._

_< <Not adorable when it's all I can think about…_

_> >Of course I'll get you some. How are you feeling?_

_< <Okay, right now. I need to pee, but Makka's asleep on my lap and I don't want to wake him…_

Yuuri sent a selfie of himself and Makkachin in the bed, the poodle dozing away happily and Yuuri looking over his glasses up at his phone, his bottom lip stuck out in a pout of consternation. The hand that wasn't holding his phone was rested on his baby bump.

Viktor's heart melted.

_> >You are the cutest person in the entire world, Katsuki Yuuri._

_< <Aw, hush… See you when you get home, love you._

_> >I love you, too, sweetheart. So much. ( ˘ ³˘)♡_

_< <♡ ( ´⁄⁄⁄`⁄ )_

Viktor set his phone down, his mood lightened by the conversation. He was glad to hear that Yuuri felt alright.

He leaned back on the bench, pulling his leg up to stretch and watching the other skaters, eager to get home.

 

-

 

The house was quiet when Viktor arrived home a few hours later. He eased the door shut with one hand, holding the grocery bags in the other and trying to minimize the noise they made. Slipping his duffel bag off of his shoulder, he set it by the door and soundlessly took his shoes off, listening intently. No noise could be heard, so he assumed that Yuuri was napping.

He deposited the groceries (and ice cream) in the kitchen and refrigerator, noticing a pot of cooling mint tea on the stove and an empty mug sitting by the sink. A small frown crossed his face. Yuuri only ever drank that tea when he was feeling sick.

He tiptoed to the bedroom, where he found Yuuri curled on his side in the bed with Makkachin snuggled up to his belly, sacked out. He'd at least had the presence of mind to take his glasses off, and his face was so adorably relaxed and peaceful, his cheeks and lips flushed prettily in slumber. A strip of the skin on his rounded stomach peeked out from between the hem of his shirt and the waistband of his pajama pants.

When Viktor approached the bed, Makkachin opened one eye and looked up at him, his tail swishing against the bed, but didn't move, as if he didn't want to wake Yuuri up.

 _Aw…_ Viktor reached down to gently tuck a few strands of inky hair behind the delicate shell of Yuuri's ear, his face softening in a loving smile. He silently slipped his phone out of his pocket and took a snapshot. _So cute._ He was beginning to build quite the album of Yuuri pictures.

He carefully and quietly gathered clean clothes from the room, then pulled the bathroom door shut. His shirt felt gross and sticky on his back; he desperately needed a shower after all that physical exertion.

As he stripped his sweaty clothes off and tossed them in the hamper, he heard Makkachin stir and jump off of the bed, exiting the room in the direction of the kitchen. He had probably gotten hungry and was headed for his food bowl.

Viktor grabbed a towel and washcloth from the closet and hung them over the shower wall. The magnet on the glass shower door made a small, muted _pop_ as he opened it and stepped inside, shivering a bit at the cold tile against his bare feet. He quickly turned on the water, suppressing a yelp and stepping out of the way when the cold droplets pricked his skin. St. Petersburg was a little chilly, even in August, and it made the water a bit slow to warm.

The tension unwound from his shoulders as the water grew warmer, and he leaned his head back into the spray, closing his eyes at the feeling of the hot water soaking into his hair and snaking down his back and shoulders in rivulets. If his feet and knee weren't killing him, he would stand here all day…

He sighed softly, combing his fingers through his sopping hair and reaching for the shampoo.

The bathroom door eased open in his peripheral vision, and Yuuri's sleepy head poked through. When he clearly saw Viktor standing naked in the shower, his face flooded with color.

"Oh, I, uh," Yuuri stammered, moving to close the door, but Viktor pressed his palm to the cold glass shower door in a 'wait' gesture.

"Will you join me?" He asked softly.

Yuuri's eyes grew wide and darted downward, and he fidgeted. "…are you sure?"

A fond smile touched Viktor's lips. "Of course."

Yuuri seemed to still be a little conflicted, but he eased the door all the way open and stepped through, pulling it shut behind him. His fingers played with the hem of his shirt, and he hesitated before taking it off and shucking his pajama pants and underwear.

 _He's being awfully bashful…_ Despite all of the time they'd spent together, Yuuri did still had bouts of timidness from time to time. It was something Viktor found very endearing, that innocence that Yuuri still possessed.

Yuuri paused for a moment as he set his glasses on the grey marble sink, and Viktor stomach flipped; standing at the sink, Yuuri looked so beautiful bathed in the early afternoon sunlight from the window, hazed by the white curtains. Though he wasn't in top skating shape, the muscles of his back and legs were still toned and supple.

Certain other parts of the back of him were supple, too.

Viktor watched him quietly as he walked to the shower. His gait had slowly begun to change over the past couple of weeks; though he wasn't quite waddling yet, his hips swayed a little differently when he walked now. The growing size and weight of the baby in his womb was starting to affect his movement.

Yuuri timidly opened the shower door, and Viktor reached to take his hand and steady him as he stepped over the threshold. His eyes darted away from Viktor's questioning gaze, and his face and ears reddened even more. He looked terribly embarrassed.

"Is something wrong?" Viktor murmured, turning Yuuri's face toward him with a light touch. Yuuri's shoulders lifted in a self-deprecating shrug.

"It's silly."

"Nothing that makes you unhappy is silly," Viktor said firmly.

Yuuri looked down again, his voice barely audible. "Just…feeling kind of…I don't know..." he lifted a hand and smoothed it down his round belly, looking down at his body with slumped shoulders.

Viktor's brow creased sadly, and he cupped Yuuri's cheek in his palm. "Yuuri, look at me." He obeyed, but insecurity was plain in his eyes. Viktor suppressed a sigh, knowing that it might make Yuuri feel worse. "You're the most beautiful person I've ever laid my eyes on, love. Please don't think so low of yourself."

Yuuri's eyes welled up. "But…how can you find me attractive like this…?" His hand drifted back to his abdomen, and he looked so dejected that it made Viktor's heart hurt.

"Oh, Yuuri…" Viktor tugged him forward gently, wrapping him in a hug and rubbing his back. Yuuri's distended belly was firm against his own stomach. "You're carrying my baby, our perfect little miracle. That in itself is an incredible thing. Not only that," he drew back and pressed a kiss to Yuuri's smooth forehead, "you are _beautiful_. You're rosy and healthy, and your hair is so thick and shiny. Carrying is treating you very well. Just because you've gained some baby weight doesn't mean you aren't attractive anymore. Quite the contrary."

The soft brown eyes searched Viktor's, looking a bit unconvinced. "Really?"

"Really." Viktor combed his fingers through Yuuri's water-speckled hair. "Now, try to stop worrying. It's not good for you and the baby."

Yuuri gave a tiny smile. "I'll try." He reached for the shampoo. "Let me wash your hair?"

"Okay." It had been a while since they had bathed together. Viktor missed being able to do it every day in the hot spring in Hasetsu.

Yuuri turned him around with a gentle hand, coaxing his head under the water to wet his hair again, and soon, the sweet, enticing scent of honeysuckle wafted around them. Yuuri scrubbed his hair tenderly, and the feeling of his fingernails on Viktor's scalp felt wonderful.

"Oh, I meant to ask," Viktor remembered, closing his eyes. "Are you still feeling sick? I saw the tea on the stove."

"Mm-mm, not anymore. I was just a little queasy earlier this morning. I feel great, right now, baby's giving me a break." Viktor heard the smile in his tone.

When he was done washing, he ran his fingers through Viktor's hair, squeezing out the excess shampoo. Viktor leaned back into the spray, rinsing his hair, loving the tender touch of Yuuri's fingers in his hair.

Shampoo free, Viktor slicked his wet hair back out of his eyes, then turned around and gently tilted Yuuri's own head back into the spray of the shower, and Yuuri's hands came up to rest on his forearms. Once his hair was soaked, Viktor reached for the bottle of shampoo, popping the cap and squeezing some into his palm. He rubbed his hands together, stepping back from Yuuri slightly.

"Turn around," he murmured, and Yuuri obeyed, resting a hand on the tiny shelf. Viktor threaded his fingers through Yuuri's wet hair, evenly distributing the shampoo, and massaged into Yuuri's scalp with a firm gentleness.

"Mm…" a soft moan drifted from Yuuri's closed lips, and he leaned his head back into the touch. His eyes were closed, his coal black lashes dotted with water droplets above his pink cheeks.

Viktor loved doing this. It felt so precious, so intimate, standing here with steam curling around them, their respective scents dancing around each other underneath the smell of honeysuckle. He was glad to see that Yuuri was relaxing and enjoying it.

Viktor slicked Yuuri's soapy hair back from his forehead and tilted it into the spray, running his fingers through it and letting the water rinse the shampoo away. He then held Yuuri's neck loosely and pressed his thumbs against his scalp, rubbing circles into the base of his skull, where he knew most of Yuuri's headaches originated from.

Yuuri hummed in pleasure, reaching up to touch the back of Viktor's right hand. Their rings made a tiny, musical _clink_ against each other, and Yuuri's fingers threaded through his, skin slick with moisture, his thumb lovingly rubbing Viktor's. He leaned back, turning his head to kiss Viktor full on the mouth, and Viktor closed his eyes and tilted Yuuri's chin, savoring the sweet contact. When they broke apart, Yuuri gave a soft, satisfied sigh.

Feeling encouraged, Viktor slid one of his arms around Yuuri's torso and pressed a kiss to the back of his neck, the feeling of the warm, wet skin against his lips stirring something within him. He hoped he hadn't read Yuuri's actions wrong.

Yuuri drew in a soft gasp, his back straightening with understanding. He tilted his head to the side, baring his neck, and Viktor latched onto the pale skin. Yuuri's breath caught as he bit the soft flesh gently, laving it with his tongue and sucking. He pressed an apologetic kiss over the red smudges that formed, kissing down Yuuri's shoulder, leaving a trail of sucks and nips on the wet skin. Lovely noises fell from Yuuri's lips, tiny, breathless whimpers that fanned the growing fire of arousal in the pit of Viktor's stomach.

"Viktor…" Yuuri breathed, a plea in his tone.

Viktor nosed into the side of his neck. "It would be easier if you were sitting," his voice was rough in his chest, "I don't want you to fall."

Yuuri nodded. Viktor eased them down into a kneeling position on the spongy rubber mat of the shower, and Yuuri tucked his feet underneath himself, parting his knees around his belly.

Viktor pressed close to his back, reaching a hand around to splay his fingers on the mound of Yuuri's lower abdomen.

"Will you let me take care of you?" He whispered in Yuuri's ear, and Yuuri turned his head slightly. The naked lust smoldering in the hooded, cinnamon brown eye sent Viktor's blood rushing south with a thrill down through his stomach.

"Please." Yuuri's voice was husky and maybe a little bit desperate.

Viktor picked up the tiny bottle of lube they kept hidden behind the shampoo for such an occasion as this, drizzling some on his fingers and rubbing them together to warm it.

Yuuri's flirty pheromones were curling around him, teasing him, arousing him even further. The spicy-sweet aroma drove him _crazy_. He scooted closer to Yuuri, burying his face in his neck and drinking in his delectable scent, letting it permeate his very being.

"You smell so good," he murmured against Yuuri's arousal-heated skin, and Yuuri's head turned slightly again. A light kiss was pressed to Viktor's forehead, and his heart fluttered at how sweet it was.

He slipped a hand up underneath Yuuri, gently rubbing his fingertips against the wet entrance, and he nearly died at how slippery it already felt, at how he could _smell_ just how aroused Yuuri was. The heady, tangy scent of Yuuri's slick was dazing, stupifying, more potent than any alcohol. Viktor could get drunk off of him any day.

Yuuri gasped and his hips pushed back against Viktor as he slid one finger in easily, his cock pulsing between his thighs at the ribbed texture inside the wet walls. He twisted his finger in wide circles, and Yuuri gave a closed-mouth groan.

"Viktor, come on," Yuuri pleaded, wiggling his hips impatiently and angling them back, "more. I'm not made of glass."

Oh, how he loved it when Yuuri got demanding.

Viktor added a second finger, scissoring and stretching the opening, and Yuuri's hands braced against the wall, his head falling back, his wet hair clinging to the back of his neck. Streams of water trickled down his toned back.

He moaned shakily and shuddered as Viktor added a third finger, but then, with not much preamble, he wiggled the fourth one in as well.

Yuuri's back arched and he coughed out a surprised cry, his fingers curling into fists. Viktor reached in as far as he could, stroking downward with his middle and forefinger and finding the small knot of Yuuri's prostate; Yuuri bit down on his hand, muffling a rough noise that made Viktor's groin ache. He gently pulled Yuuri's hand away from his mouth.

"Let me hear you," Viktor rasped against the back of Yuuri's shoulder, giving another, much firmer thrust of his fingers, and Yuuri gave a strangled shout, his voice cracking.

"Viktor—" his strained voice was cut off by another deep, desperate groan, and Viktor felt his hips trembling as he massaged the little lump of nerves inside Yuuri, just the way he knew he liked it. He reached around to gently wrap his hand around Yuuri's length, giving him a slow, lazy pump and swirling his thumb around the tip; it was hot and heavy in his hand, slippery with precum. Yuuri's head fell back again and his lips parted, his eyes closed in bliss as his prostate was skillfully rubbed. _"Totemo fukai,"_ He panted in a whisper, sounding almost in tears, _"Kimochi ii…"_

Viktor swallowed hard.

He thrust his fingers into Yuuri purposefully, timing the strokes on his cock with the pressure on his prostate, and soon Yuuri's back straightened abruptly and a frantic yelp escaped his mouth.

"Viktor, I-I'm—" he forced out, his shoulders tensing and his chest heaving, and Viktor's own cock jerked, hanging painfully hard between his legs.

"Let go for me," he managed.

With a throaty sob, Yuuri's posture went rigid and his head tipped back, his toes curling and his hands balling up into white-knuckled fists against the wall. Gasp after delicious gasp fell from his lips, and Viktor felt the telltale, rhythmic squeezing ripple tightly around his fingers. Warm liquid oozed over the fingers around Yuuri's cock, and Viktor let go to reach back and touch his own, but Yuuri grabbed his wrist in a startlingly strong grip.

_"Don't."_

There was no room for argument with a command like that.

Yuuri panted a few more soft moans, riding out his orgasm with muted shivers. When he was spent, he rested his forehead against the wall briefly, his shoulders relaxing. Viktor gave him a moment, trailing his fingers along Yuuri's delicate spine, feeling the bumps and ridges of the bones underneath the hot skin. Yuuri twitched as Viktor pulled his fingers out, holding both hands under the warm spray of the shower to rinse them off.

"Viktor, have you ever…" Yuuri's voice was weak from exertion, but sounded a little different, "been on the receiving end?"

Viktor's blue eyes widened. That was a surprisingly brazen question, coming from Yuuri.

"Yes," he answered honestly. "Once or twice. Years ago."

Yuuri turned his head to look at him, and Viktor gulped at how _sexy_ the smirk that crept across his flushed face was. 

_Oh, God._

Yuuri turned around on his knees, leaning into Viktor's space, and crawled forward on his hands and knees until Viktor was backed against the wall of the shower, the smooth marble cold against his shoulders. Yuuri pressed close between Viktor's parted knees, his eyes half-lidded and burning with desire, so close that Viktor's erection was trapped between Viktor's stomach and the baby bump.

"Will you let me?"

Viktor's gaze darted away and heat poured into his cheeks, his heartbeat fluttering in his chest at the implication. "Yuuri, you can't—you're—"

"No, but I can return the favor. What you just did for me." Yuuri gave a pointed glance downward, and Viktor was once again made aware of how thick and darkly flushed his cock was, begging to be touched. He wanted to hide his face.

It was crazy, how quickly Yuuri had turned the tables. It was like a switch had been flipped. Gone was the meek insecurity from before; this was the Yuuri that had playfully skated the Eros program time and time again, his eyes dark and sensual, his posture confident. Even the baby bump that rounded out his belly didn't take away from his seductiveness.

Hell, it may have even added to it.

Viktor decided, then and there, to trust Yuuri as much as Yuuri trusted him.

"Okay."

Yuuri reached for the bottle of lube, slicking his fingers liberally, and leaned forward, surprising Viktor with a kiss that made his spine tingle. Yuuri's lips were soft, and his warm tongue tasted like mint tea against Viktor's own. Viktor moaned into his mouth, keenly aware of his throbbing cock still pressed between them.

Yuuri's hand slipped down between his legs, and Viktor's breath caught as the pad of a finger circled his entrance, spreading the lube around. He didn't produce natural lubricant like Yuuri did, so it would take a little more work.

Yuuri withdrew his hand and dolloped his fingers with lube again, returning to massage two fingers against Viktor gently.

Viktor's heart was beginning to race with excited uncertainty; he hadn't been touched here in years, and he'd forgotten how it felt. It sent shivers of pleasure down his arms, raising the fine hairs on his skin.

The tip of one finger wiggled in, and Viktor drew in a slow breath at the intrusion. The slippery digit slowly turned inside him, sliding further in; it felt so foreign, yet so familiar. He let out a quivering breath, and Yuuri leaned up and pressed another, softer kiss to his lips.

"You're doing well," Viktor whispered when they separated, lifting a hand to Yuuri's cheek and caressing his shiny bottom lip with his thumb. He could smell that he was getting aroused again. "My gentle Yuuri."

"Tell me what you want," Yuuri whispered back against his thumb, pressing a kiss to it.

Viktor shuddered with need. Yuuri's finger was all the way in, stroking around inside him. Such a strange sensation. Another finger rested against his entrance, and he swallowed, his mouth feeling dry and his words leaving him.

"I…I want…"

Yuuri raised one striking dark eyebrow in an expression so sultry that Viktor whimpered. He hadn't felt this submissive in a _long_ time, possibly ever. He felt like he was simultaneously on top of the world and two inches tall.

"Yes?" Yuuri's voice was low, dripping with want, and the tip of the second finger breached the ring of muscle, pulling a gasp from Viktor's lips. The dark eyes drew closer to his own, roving over his face; the pupils were blown so wide that Viktor could barely tell the brown from the black. "What do you want, _Vikutoru?"_ Yuuri drew each of the syllables of his name out, his tone singsong and decidedly immodest. Viktor felt so strangely embarrassed under the scrutiny, but somehow, not in a bad way.

It was mortifying, and exhilirating.

"I-I want you to…to finger me. Spread me open." Viktor's face burned. The finger slid all the way in, and he closed his eyes tightly, feeling the slight sting. Both of the digits spread apart gently, working the tightness out of his muscles.

Yuuri's other hand rested on his thigh, bracing himself, and his fingers reached even deeper, searching.

They hit something and Viktor sucked in a gasp; his vision abruptly crackled and wavered from the shock of pleasure that radiated up through his belly and chest.

_He found it._

Something animalistic glinted in Yuuri's eyes. "Oh," he uttered lowly, brushing his fingers roughly against the lump of nerves again, and Viktor's cock jerked off of his belly and his stomach felt like it jumped off of a cliff.

Viktor frantically clamped his fingers around the base of his cock, holding his breath and squeezing his eyes shut, fighting against his body. He only let go when he was sure he was safe, breathing out heavily, his brow furrowed. Sweat trickled down his temple, mingling with the water droplets.

Yuuri had stopped and was staring up at him, looking almost predatory. "You just nearly came from me fingering you?" he whispered, letting out a soft chuckle. "I've barely touched you." The words were spoken in a teasing coo.

"God, Yuuri," Viktor gasped out as Yuuri began moving his fingers again, "what's gotten into you?"

His only answer was a coy smirk and another mind-muddling kiss. Belatedly, he realized that he'd spoken in Russian without even noticing. His coherence was long gone.

By the time Yuuri was adding a third finger, Viktor was ready to get on his knees and beg for release. If he'd known Yuuri would be so skilled in edging him like this, he would have…

...probably still let him do it, actually.

The unrelenting stimulation on his prostate rode a fine, dangerous line between pleasure and pain, and his thighs were beginning to tremble uncontrollably; the pulled-taut, icy burn of his muscles was downright torturous. He hadn't even known that he had wanted this, but it felt like something in his body had been quelled, an unknown longing had finally been satiated.

"Yuuri," he managed, his voice strained and thin. His eyes slammed shut at a particularly strong jolt of pleasure up his spine, causing his mouth to fall open and the back of his head to thunk mutedly against the wall of the shower. His chest rose and fell as he gasped, his heart racing wildly like he had run a marathon; he almost felt like he couldn't get enough air in. One of his free hands came up to brace against Yuuri's wet shoulder, and a helpless, mewling cry fell from his lips at the constant pressure and friction. He was _right_ on the edge. He looked down; his cock was reddish-purple with need, drooling a sticky line onto his belly.

"You should see yourself right now." Yuuri's voice was tight, breathless, and Viktor looked down to see that Yuuri was jerking his own cock with his other hand. His eyes looked Viktor up and down, blazing with hunger. "If I weren't too pregnant, I would fuck you senseless."

With those words and a well-placed twist of Yuuri's fingers, Viktor fell headfirst over the edge.

A full-body shudder traveled from his heels to the back of his neck, and he came with a hoarse shout, his shoulders and head hitting the wall and his hands scrambling for purchase against Yuuri's damp chest. His breath left him completely; his neglected cock twitched up off his stomach and spurted thick ropes of cum from its flushed tip, and at the same time, his walls clamped down on Yuuri's fingers, the strong, throbbing pulse of his muscles causing his back to hunch slightly with every powerful wave. He'd forgotten that orgasm felt different this way. It was much more visceral.

"Yuuri," he gasped out brokenly, tears flooding his eyes at the overwhelming waves of sensation assaulting him. He heard a muffled grunt and a gasp; Yuuri had come, too. All over his thighs.

The heavy spasms finally began to wear down to subdued twitches, and Viktor went limp against the shower wall, breathing hard, head spinning. " _Fuck_ , Yuuri," he wavered, holding a hand over his stuttering heartbeat. He hadn't had an orgasm quite like that in years. He felt completely wrung out, weak and raw. Like he had been savagely torn open and laid bare for Yuuri to see.

Speaking of Yuuri, he was looking up at Viktor now, panting heavily, his eyes halfway shut and his cheeks burning hot. Viktor winced at the feeling of the fingers leaving him, and he heard them swish in the small pool of water around the drain.

"If I'd known it would make you feel that good, I would have suggested it a long time ago," Yuuri said, his voice a bit unsteady. He leaned over, bracing his hands on the mat on either side of Viktor's hips, his shoulders squaring. "It was okay, huh?" He sounded completely drained.

Viktor caught his breath, reaching to hold Yuuri's face in both hands and firmly sealing his lips over Yuuri's in a fervent kiss. It was softly returned with a little noise of pleasure in the back of Yuuri's throat. Viktor drew back and panted, bringing their foreheads together.

"I've never come so hard in my life."

Despite the fact that he had been a veritable seductress less than two minutes prior, Yuuri blushed profusely at the words. "I'm glad," he sighed, moving to rest his warm cheek on Viktor's chest, still out of breath himself. He was trying to hide it, but Viktor knew better. He was boneless, exhausted. This had worn him out.

Viktor lifted his arms to hold Yuuri close, nestling his cheek in the wet, dark hair and letting out a long, slow sigh of contentment. He felt a shaking hand come up to rest on his chest, felt the cool metal of Yuuri's ring against his skin. The warmth of their damp skin together felt so nice, and the soft press of Yuuri's round baby bump against his own stomach made him smile.

"You didn't have to do that," Viktor said softly, tracing circles on the small of Yuuri's back, and he felt Yuuri smile against his chest.

"I wanted to make you feel as good as you always make me feel."

Viktor let out an incredulous chuckle. "Well, you succeeded." His legs were still quivering like gelatin. He didn't think it would be smart to stand any time soon.

"And I meant what I said," Yuuri's voice dipped lower, "I'd like to…you know…take it further, after I have the baby. If you would enjoy it."

Anticipation rose in Viktor's chest, and he smoothed Yuuri's wet bangs off of his forehead, tracing down his jawline. "I'd love it," he murmured.

Still sitting, they washed each other off, using a mint-scented liquid body wash that Yuuri had recently bought. The icy scent of the menthol smelled wonderful and felt soothing in their chests, and soon they were clean of all sticky fluids.

Viktor turned off the water and gripped the support bar on the wall of the shower, gingerly pulling himself up, and he drew in a gasp when a zap of not-quite-pain made his knees wobble. "Does it feel like this for you every time?" He asked Yuuri weakly, still feeling out of breath. Yuuri sat cross-legged on the floor of the shower, cradling his belly and looking up at him with an amused little smile.

"Why do you think I'm always half drunk afterward?"

Viktor gave a rueful grin, bending his knees, testing his muscles. "Well, now I know, at least partially."

He couldn't wait to know fully.

He held onto the bar with a firm grip and held his other hand out to Yuuri. "Upsy-daisy." Yuuri took his hand, slowly rising and steadying himself with one hand on the wall. "I'll get you a towel, stay put." Viktor stepped out of the shower, wrapping his own towel around his waist and tossing his wet bangs out of his eye. Yuuri chuckled from behind him as he opened the cabinet to retrieve a towel.

"I'm not going anywhere. Can you ge— _ooh…"_

A soft grunt from Yuuri made Viktor whip his head around. Yuuri was hunched forward, his brows furrowed in a confused frown. The hand that wasn't on the wall was held against the curve of his lower belly.

Viktor's heart skipped a couple of beats, and he turned fully around. "Yuuri…?"

Yuuri's brown eyes were unfocused, as if they weren't seeing anything, and his breathing was shallow, as if he was concentrating very hard.

Viktor's heart hammered. "Are you okay? Are you hurting?"

Yuuri blinked slowly, pressing his fingers into his belly gently. "I…no, it…" he let out a shuddering breath of disbelief, his eyes widening. "That…I think that was a kick."

Viktor's mouth fell open. "You felt it?"

Yuuri nodded, his own mouth agape in amazement. "It felt like a muscle twitch, but a little different. More...solid."

"Oh, my…" Viktor breathed, and he knelt in front of Yuuri and laid both hands on the gentle mound. "Will I be able to feel it?"

Yuuri covered his hands with his own, smiling down at him. "Probably not, the baby's still pretty tiny. Maybe in a few weeks."

Viktor trailed his thumbs in slow circles on the sides of Yuuri's belly, marveling. Their baby was moving, however small the movement was. It was _moving_. The thought filled his chest with thrilled happiness, and he leaned forward and pressed a lingering kiss under Yuuri's navel.

"Amazing," he whispered.

A couple of minutes later, while they were drying off, Yuuri gasped and perked up again, his hands hovering over his belly.

"There it was again," he said breathlessly, grinning and letting out a laugh. "That's definitely movement. It feels so strange." He rubbed his rounded stomach, his eyes shining.

A jubilant smile spread across Viktor's face. Seeing Yuuri so excited about the baby made his heart feel giddy.

"Erm, you…" Yuuri looked off to the side, rubbing his neck. "Did you remember the ice cream?"

Viktor laughed as he toweled his hair. "Of course I did." He dropped a kiss on Yuuri's cheekbone, and Yuuri looked relieved.

"Thank _God."_

 

-

 

After they had dressed in comfortable sweats and t-shirts, they sat on the couch with the TV on. Yuuri held his long-anticipated bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream, dipping spoonfuls out and smiling blissfully with his eyes closed when he stuck them in his mouth.

Viktor scrolled through his Instagram, nearly choking a little when he saw that their previous post had reached nearly seventeen million likes. _Wow_.

"This is the weirdest thing I've ever experienced," Yuuri noted, his words garbled by the ice cream in his mouth, "I can't stand this flavor. I've hated anything with chocolate and mint together ever since Phichit made me try it back in Detroit. But suddenly, it's delicious to me."

Viktor set his phone down and rested his temple on his hand, watching Yuuri amusedly. "It's one of my favorites. It sort of makes sense that you would crave it."

"I guess that makes it your fault." Yuuri squinted down at his belly. "You, too," he whispered the accusation with a smile. Viktor chuckled, giving the bump a pat.

"I wonder if we'll get a boy or a girl. Some people claim to know even before they get a sonogram."

Yuuri pursed his lips around the spoon. "Hmm…" he took the spoon out, offering it to Viktor, and he gladly took it and scooped up a small bite of ice cream, savoring the minty coolness and the slight bitterness of the dark chocolate. "Kaa-san has always told me that she knew both times, with me and Mari. She said she just had a feeling, and she turned out to be right."

Viktor handed the spoon back, licking his lips. "Do you have any inclination in one direction or the other so far?"

"Nope." They both laughed, and Yuuri's face grew thoughtful. "I'm not partial to either one, I don't guess. As long as they're healthy."

Viktor mostly agreed, but he _may_ have been a little biased toward one…

"Do you want to find out before they're born?" Yuuri asked, and Viktor tilted his head to the side, shrugging with a smile.

"It doesn't matter to me. Whatever you want to do."

"Ah." Yuuri twisted his lips to one side, frowning. "I was kind of thinking we could keep it a surprise. You know, build the suspense. If it's okay with you."

"I like it. It makes it all the more exciting."

Yuuri looked pleased. "I thought so, too." He lifted the spoon to take another bite, but winced when it was halfway to his mouth.

Viktor's eyebrows raised. "More movement?"

"No," Yuuri sighed, dropping the spoon with a _clink_ and rubbing the back of his head and neck, his face twisted in pain. "Headache. Again."

Viktor sighed inwardly. "I wish you would at least call a doctor and get some advice."

He kept his voice neutral, but he could see the moment Yuuri's defensive walls went up. "I've asked Yuuko. She had headaches, too."

"Yuuri, she was pregnant with triplets. Her symptoms could have been for completely different reasons than yours." Viktor tried to sound placating and calm, but some of the worry slipped through.

Yuuri sighed through his nose. "Listen, if the headaches get any worse, I'll go to the doctor. Okay?"

It felt like a dismissal. Viktor didn't want to push him, so he just nodded, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Okay."

Yuuri reached up and took his hand, squeezing it gently, but didn't say any more.

Viktor knew he probably shouldn't say any more either.

However, he couldn't shake the cloud of uncertainty that hung over him.

 

-

 

Days later at the rink, Viktor was strangely distracted. That weird sort of dread still poked at the back of his mind, and it was affecting his concentration, causing his skating to be uncharacteristically sloppy.

Yuuri had still been asleep when he'd left earlier that morning, but Viktor could tell that his sleep wasn't restful, as it hadn't been in a while. A small crease had marred Yuuri's brow, even in his slumber. It made Viktor uneasy.

The third time he flubbed a jump, before Yakov could even get to him, Yuri forcibly hauled him off of the ice, sitting him down on a bench. Viktor didn't even have the presence of mind to protest.

Yuri crossed his arms over his lean chest. "Okay, spill. You hardly ever make mistakes that stupid unless your mind is full of bullshit. What's wrong with you, did you have a lovers' quarrel with your silly Katsudon? Did he finally get tired of you hanging off of him constantly?"

Because of how tightly-wound he already was by worry, the words struck an annoyed chord within Viktor. He glared up at Yuri through his fringe, and his scowl was matched with equal hostility.

"That's none of your business, _Yurio."_

Yuri's jade green eyes hardened like crystal, dark with anger. "Don't call me that. We're a few months away from Skate Canada, you idiot. You can't afford to be distracted now."

"Well, excuse me," Viktor drawled, lazily combing his silver bangs aside and lowering his eyelids, giving Yuri a thin, fake smile. "I didn't realize that I wasn't allowed to be human. You certainly hold a fellow to ridiculously high standards, don't you?"

Yuri rolled his eyes disgustedly, making his 'tch' sound with a curl of his lip. "And you call me an emo teenager. Listen, you old f—"

"Yuratchka." the heavily accented voice scraped the air like an ice pick.

Yuri's back straightened almost imperceptibly, and he glared up at the ceiling as if he were trying to burn a hole in it with his eyes. "Yes?" He said sweetly.

"Get back on the ice." Lilia's imposing figure loomed behind him, her slim face severe and pulled tight by her usual bun at the back of her head. Yuri groaned and muttered something about old hags under his breath, and he would have gotten smacked on the back of the head if he hadn't ducked and hurried away.

Viktor blinked up at the tall, thin woman, feeling a bit like a mouse staring up at a cat. She turned her attention to him, crossing her toned arms.

"And you. What, indeed, is your problem? You act like a bus ran over your puppy."

"Hey, Yuri, come back and comfort me some more, I'm missing your tact right now," Viktor called in a lilting, derisive voice around her, and Yuri responded by jabbing his middle finger in the air behind him.

"How blatantly disrespectful." Lilia glared down at him. "Now tell me what's wrong, young man. Why are you making mistakes that a four-year-old wouldn't?"

Viktor bristled a bit, but held his tongue. "It's nothing, ma'am."

"Lies." Her stern face softened. "Is everything okay with your Japanese Yuuri? Is it him that distracts you?"

Viktor stared up at her, a bit surprised at her perceptiveness. He evidently hadn't given her enough credit. "He's doing alright. A bit tired, but alright."

Lilia scrutinized his expression, her catlike eyes narrowed to slits. "Something is wrong with him. I can tell by your body language," she finally said.

Viktor sighed heavily, giving up. "It's nothing serious, he's just been having headaches and getting tired easily. Why are you bothering to ask?"

"Well, for one thing, your skating is hardly ever that pathetically infantile." Viktor tried not to look as offended as he felt. "He's the only thing besides skating that you seem to care about, him and that little one of yours. If he isn't well, take him to a doctor and stop acting like a lost lamb. It's pitiable. For another thing," and she quirked a trim brow, her mouth twisting into something that almost resembled a smile, "I was just concerned."

He must have looked extremely incredulous, because Lilia let out a short, barking laugh. "Yes, shocking, I know. Contrary to popular belief, even old ladies like me can have hearts when it comes to expectant mothers, yes?"

Viktor just nodded dumbly, and she strode away, speaking over her shoulder. "Take care of him. And get your head on straight." She turned her attention back to Yuri, who was trying to pretend he hadn't been eavesdropping and wasn't having much success. She clapped her hands at him and he jumped. "Why do you stare like a fish? Get to work, child."

Viktor barely heard Yuri's comeback. He was still shocked. That had completely come out of left field. Lilia hadn't spoken more than a few words to him in years.

He supposed no one could truly dislike Yuuri. Not even a crotchety old woman like Lilia. He briefly wondered how in the hell she and Yakov ever stood each other for more than a few days. _A match made in heaven, I suppose…_

Nevertheless, the concern was a bit touching. It had lightened the burden on his heart.

He stood up, frowning at himself. _She's right, I'm worrying myself sick. I wonder if this is how Yuuri feels sometimes._ While he wasn't nearly as anxious as Yuuri was, he could still empathize. It must be hard to deal with anxiety every day. He was beginning to have a whole new respect for Yuuri, as if he could have any more at this point.

He slipped his skate guards off and stepped back onto the ice, determined to get through his free skate without messing up even once.

He just hoped that his worry was misplaced.

 

-

 

When he got home some time later, he peeked into the dim bedroom. Yuuri was still curled up in bed with Makkachin. His eyes were closed in sleep, but the slightly pained expression was still worryingly present on his face.

It made Viktor's heart cramp in his chest. He still felt guilty for putting Yuuri through this whole thing in the first place. He decided to let him sleep as long as he could, the rest would do him good.

Once he had taken a quick shower in the guest bathroom so as not to disturb Yuuri's rest, he tried to distract himself by reading a book on the couch. It was a book on Japanese history that Mari had lent him, and he was enjoying it so far, but he just couldn't seem to concentrate. Something was very restless inside him, itching at his mind, and he didn't know why.

 _Perhaps I should call Takeshi and ask his advice sometime._  He couldn't have had it easy while his wife was pregnant. If Viktor was this worried with Yuuri carrying one baby, he couldn't even begin to imagine how antsy Takeshi had been. Maybe he would have a few pointers to give.

He set the book down frustratedly, picking up his phone and answering a few messages. He fought down the urge to Google Yuuri's symptoms; he'd have him diagnosed with some deadly disease if he did. It would just worry him further.

A shaky sigh left him, and he rubbed a hand over his face. He was half tempted to down a couple of shots of the champagne they kept for special occasions, just to steady his nerves, but immediately scolded himself for it. _Get a grip. Alcohol will make it even worse._ God knew he had firsthand experience with that…

Makkachin came bounding out of the bedroom a couple of hours later, and Viktor, half asleep with his phone resting on a pillow in his lap, didn't notice the high-pitched, distressed whines until Makkachin nipped at his sleeve.

"Makka!" He said sharply in surprise, frowning at the poodle. "Don't bite." He tapped the dog's nose.

Makkachin gave a low, growling woof, and chills raised the hair on the back of Viktor's neck. Makkachin hadn't growled at him in years.

"What's the matter? Do you need to go out?" He reached to rub the dog's head, but Makkachin ducked away, scurrying in the direction of the bedroom. He stopped at the door and turned around, whining back at Viktor anxiously and dancing from side to side on his front paws.

What…?

Viktor's eyes grew wide, and he got up from the couch, hurrying to the door.

He heard Yuuri moan in his sleep as he stepped through the door, and he approached the bed, feeling unnaturally tense. Makkachin gave a soft woof, looking up at Viktor sadly from his place beside the bed. Viktor switched on the soft lamp beside the bed.

Yuuri was still curled up on his side, but his face was pale as a ghost, except for red blotches of color on his cheeks that didn't look normal at all. His forehead glistened with sweat, his bangs sticking to his skin and his eyelids squeezing shut tightly every now and then in silent winces.

Viktor quickly sat on the bed. "Yuuri?" He reached to touch his forehead, and his stomach bottomed out like a boulder in the ocean.

Yuuri's skin was blazing hot, and Viktor noticed just then how much he was shivering.

His pulse thundered in his ears. "Yuuri, you need to wake up," he prodded under his breath, shaking his shoulder gently. Yuuri barely stirred, his eyes opening halfway. The brown of his irises was dull and glassy with fever. They roved over Viktor's face, but almost didn't seem to recognize him, lost in a daze.

Viktor's stomach twisted with worry, and he laid a hand on Yuuri's red cheek. "Yuuri, babe, can you hear me?" His heart leapt with relief when Yuuri nodded, closing his eyes briefly. "You need to try to tell me if you're okay. Are you in pain? Does your belly hurt?" Yuuri blinked sluggishly, seeming to gain a shred of coherence.

"I-I feel bad," he finally murmured, his voice weak and raspy. He lifted a pale, shaking hand to his cheek. "Don't know why…I was okay…when I…went to…" his eyelids drooped and his hand lowered slowly. Makkachin whined pitifully again, nudging one of Yuuri's hands with his nose.

"Yuuri, no, stay awake," Viktor's voice rose in alarm. He desperately beat back the panic welling up inside him as Yuuri's eyes flashed with pain and he jerked, closing his eyes tightly. "Come on, you have to tell me, does your stomach hurt? Is it the baby?"

"I-I don't…" Yuuri trailed off, his eyes going in and out of focus. He looked up at Viktor dazedly, never finishing the sentence, and gave a faint smile, tears welling up in his eyes. "You're so pretty…"

 _Oh, God, he's delirious, how high is his fever? How long has he been like this...? God dammit, I should have checked on him more closely,_ Viktor berated himself inwardly.

"Try to concentrate for me, okay? Tell me what you're feeling, don't go to sleep yet." His voice cracked mid-sentence.

"But I'm so tired, I—" Yuuri made a soft, choked noise, curling in on his belly in obvious pain.

Viktor's heartbeat screeched to a stop.

A clumsy hand reached down to fumble at the protrusion where Yuuri's shirt had ridden up. "The b-baby...if I'm sick, will it—" he grunted and his face scrunched, the knuckles of his clenched fist turning white against his stomach. " _Nnghh_ …"

Viktor breathed a shaky prayer in Russian, reaching his phone and dialing 112. He took Yuuri's hand and held the back of it against his cheek. "Just stay still, try not to move too much." He held the phone between his ear and shoulder and carded his trembling fingers through Yuuri's sweaty hair. "You're okay."

Yuuri blinked confusedly. "Why does it hurt," he whispered, his eyes filling with hazy panic. "Am I…is the baby…" he teared up again and his breathing quickened to shallow pants, and Viktor cradled his face gently, once again shocked at how hot it was. His fever had to be at least a hundred and three, possibly higher. "I'm c-cold," he whimpered pathetically, and Viktor felt sick to his stomach.

"I know, love, I know. Just look at me, okay?" The phone clicked in his ear, and he seamlessly switched to Russian. "…yes, I need an ambulance. My fiancé is four and a half months pregnant, and he's suffering from a very high fever…he's delirious, I don't know what to do…" Viktor gave the operator their address, trying to keep his voice steady.

Yuuri's eyes were darting back and forth, searching Viktor's face fearfully. A tear trickled down his feverish face. "Shhh, Yuuri," Viktor managed, stroking his thumbs over the too-hot cheekbones. "Stay calm for me, everything's going to be okay. Just breathe deeply."

Yuuri was struggling to obey through the stupor of his fever, and it made Viktor's chest feel horribly tight and frozen with fear. He needed to get himself under control. He didn't want to scare Yuuri any further with his distress, but he was _terrified_.

What did a fever this high during pregnancy even mean? He was obviously in pain, was he miscarrying?

"Vitya, wh…" Yuuri's eyes were gazing at his face as if it were very far away. "Why are you crying? Are you sad?"

Viktor wiped tears from his cheeks with the heel of his hand and sniffled, unaware that he even had been. "I'm fine, Yuuri. Keep looking at me, love, don't go to sleep."

"O-okay…"

Viktor heard the sirens of the ambulance before they even reached the house, and it made him sigh in relief. They were almost here.

He whispered comforting words to Yuuri, wiping away another tear that trickled down his temple. Viktor could tell that he was fighting very hard not to slip into unconsciousness; his half-lidded eyes would widen slightly from time to time, and he would shift in the bed, letting out strained, frightened moans.

There was a knock on the door, and Viktor heard someone let themselves in, then a tall, blond man in a paramedic uniform hurried into the room. Makkachin gave a savage growl, lowering his head and baring his teeth.

"Makka, _nyet! Lyezhat'!"_ Viktor grabbed his collar before he could rush the man, who had lifted his hands in surrender, staring at Makkachin warily. Makkachin grumpily obeyed, lying down and side-eyeing the man as if to say 'one wrong move and you're out, buddy.'

"Have you moved him at all?" The man asked in soft Russian, kneeling next to the bed with another cautious look at Makkachin and opening his black medical bag. Viktor moved to the other side of Yuuri on the bed, giving him room.

"No, I didn't know if I should. He acts like he's in a fair amount of pain, I didn't want to hurt him…"

The man hummed and nodded, pulling out a stethoscope and a thermometer. He punched the thermometer into a box on the side of the bag, and it came out with a plastic covering on it. "Probably for the best, then." He touched Yuuri's shoulder. "Does he understand Russian?"

"Ahh, no, just Japanese and English."

The man surprised Viktor by switching to the latter, speaking to Yuuri in a calming voice with very little accent. "I need you to hold this under your tongue for me, sir." He gently touched the sterilized thermometer to Yuuri's bottom lip, and Yuuri parted his lips to let it in. "Hold it under there real good. I'm going to feel of your belly and listen to it, is that okay?" Yuuri nodded faintly, eyes slipping shut. "Can you tell me your name?"

"...Yuuri..."

The paramedic slipped the ear pieces of the stethoscope into his ears, reaching down to place the metal chest piece against Yuuri's lower belly, listening briefly. "Are you in pain, Yuuri?" Yuuri gave another groggy nod, but didn't open his eyes. The paramedic pulled the thermometer out of his mouth, pursing his lips at it. "103.1, far too high for safety in pregnancy." Viktor's heart sank. "Talk to him, please, keep him awake. I'll be as quick as I can." The man placed both hands on the sides of Yuuri's belly, pressing very gently with his fingertips.

"Yuuri," Viktor fought to keep his voice from shaking, struggling to talk with his throat so tight, "what do you want to name the baby?"

Yuuri turned his face into the pillow, opening his eyes with what looked like a lot of effort. They were cloudy with pain. "I don't…know…what surname will they…" he trailed off, saying something in slurred, unintelligible Japanese.

"Whichever you want, love." Viktor held one of his hands in between his own two, rubbing it gently and trying not to break down into tears.

Yuuri's eyes drifted shut again, a dreamy smile lifting his lips. "…yours. It's really pretty…"

"Then they shall. Maybe a Japanese first name, then?" Yuuri's brow creased in pain and he made another rough, tearful noise in the back of his throat, curling in on himself further and clutching the sheets in his fists. Viktor felt like the breath had been yanked straight out of his chest. "Oh, love, hang on…"

The paramedic abruptly stood to his feet, yanking his stethoscope off and dropping it in his bag. "We need to get him to a hospital. If I'm right, which I hope I'm not, his body is preparing to miscarry. I've seen this happen many times with male omegas." The man's eyes were serious. "Do I have your permission to carry him to the ambulance?"

"Yes."

The man gently slipped his arms underneath Yuuri, lifting him into his arms as if he weighed nothing at all. Yuuri squirmed, struggling weakly against the stranger's hold.

"You're not Viktor," Yuuri whined in a frightened tone, and Makkachin let out rough, snarling bark, but didn't get up. Viktor whispered a quiet _"myesto"_ to him, patting him on the head. The poodle looked unconvinced, but obeyed.

Viktor reached to touch Yuuri's face reassuringly. "I'm still here, Yuuri, it's okay. He's here to help you."

Yuuri immediately relaxed. "Okay…" even in his half-consciousness, his hand loosely cupped his belly.

As they hurried out to the ambulance where a short, brunette, female paramedic was waiting, Viktor hoped and prayed that they had caught whatever was happening early enough.

All through the ride, the paramedics wiped Yuuri's bare skin with a cold, damp washcloth, desperately attempting to bring the dangerous fever down. By the time they reached the hospital, Yuuri had grown more delirious, barely aware of his surroundings, and the pain seemed to be growing worse.

As Viktor helplessly watched the paramedics get him out of the ambulance, his stomach lurched sickly.

There was a spot of blood on the crotch of Yuuri's pajama pants.

He swallowed down the urge to vomit. He had to force himself to calm down, to think rationally. _Spotting happens all the time in pregnancy, right? It doesn't automatically mean something bad._ But immediately, his mind volleyed in the opposite direction, and his breathing sped up. _Pain and bleeding means miscarriage, of course it does. What else would it mean?_

A choked sob left his throat.

_Please, don't..._

 

-

 

Emergency waiting rooms were the worst.

Viktor wondered briefly how many people had sat in his current position, head in their hands, heart pounding, desperately waiting for some sort of news about their loved ones. How many sorrowful cries of grief had the walls heard?

The only other person in the room was a nurse who was cleaning the coffee pot, which he was very thankful for. He hadn't had the presence of mind to wear a hood or sunglasses, and his easily recognizable silver hair was on full display. Luckily the nurse had just nodded and smiled when she caught his eye. She either didn't recognize him, or did and chose not to bother him.

His stomach still churned with worry, and his throat ached with suppressed tears. He didn't want to let himself cry here in a public waiting room; there was a lot of pent up frustration and worry weighing on his heart. He knew if he did give in, he wouldn't stop crying for a while.

He stared at a crack on the floor, numbly wondering if Yuuri was conscious enough to be scared without him. That one paramedic they'd met had spoken English, but not everyone in St. Petersburg did. Yuuri would probably feel much like Viktor had at the hospital near Hasetsu a few months ago. Language barriers could make a scary situation even more distressing.

His phone buzzed against his abdomen. Someone was calling him.

He reluctantly pulled it out of his jacket pocket, seeing that it was Yuri. Not really wanting to, he answered.

"Hello." His voice felt strange in his throat.

"Where the hell are you, why aren't you home? Your front door was unlocked. Your mutt could have run out into the street, you dumbass. I swear, you're getting senile."

Viktor covered his eyes, giving a shaky sigh and cursing himself inwardly. He had forgotten to lock it. Makkachin could have slipped out and gotten lost or hit by a car; he had learned to open unlocked doors a couple of years ago. He said a prayer of thanks that that hadn't happened.

"You there?" Yuri's voice had lost some of its edge in Viktor's silence, obviously sensing that something wasn't right.

"I'm sorry," Viktor finally rasped out, running his hand down his face, "I-I forgot to lock it. I was in a hurry, I…"

"Are you okay?" There was guarded concern in the teen's tone.

Viktor struggled against the lump in his throat. " _I'm_ perfectly fine."

A long few seconds stretched on the other end of the phone.

"What happened." All of the normal fire was strangely absent from Yuri's voice.

"Yuuri…when I got home, he had…he apparently developed a fever this morning, while I was gone. He was in pain, delirious. Last time I saw him, he was spotting. Then they carried him back."

"Spotting?"

"Bleeding." Saying it aloud made him want to throw up.

"... _oh_ …" Yuri let the word out in a hoarse, trembling breath.

In the resulting silence, a little more of Viktor's resistance was chipped away, and a hot tear slid down his cheek, dripping onto the sweatpants he wore.

"Where are you, what hospital." Yuri's voice was tight and muffled, as if his hand was over his mouth.

"Yuri, you don't—"

The teen's voice angrily rose over his. "No, you're not dealing with this alone. Where the fuck are you."

"I…Euromed, it was the closest."

There was a muted click in his ear.

Viktor almost smiled.

The almost-smile faded abruptly as a woman in scrubs jogged into the room. She spotted him and hurried over, her face urgent.

"Nikiforov?" Viktor rose slowly and nodded. She spoke in rapid Russian. "We need your permission to perform a procedure on your fiancé, sir, he isn't lucid. It will save the baby, but we have to hurry."

Viktor's heart slammed into his throat. "Wh-what? Is he losing the baby?"

"He's not right now, but he will be if we don't stop it early. His cervix is funneling, er, prematurely dilating. We can perform a cerclage, which is temporarily stitching the neck of the cervix closed. If we don't, he will indeed miscarry." The woman drew in a deep breath. "We have to act quickly, so please, decide."

"Will it hurt Yuuri?" Viktor's body felt like it was miles behind, struggling to catch up with his racing thoughts.

"Only for a few hours afterward, and it will heal quickly. It allows the cervix to build back up and will lessen the chance of further miscarriage, and it will be taken out once he reaches thirty-seven weeks. No harm will come to him, the procedure has a very high success rate."

"Then yes," Viktor affirmed with a nod. The woman raced away, calling over her shoulder.

"We'll notify you when the procedure is complete."

And then she was gone.

Viktor stood in the empty room for a moment, listlessly gazing after her, then he sank back into the chair, his hands shaking and his pulse pounding with adrenaline. Staring down at the floor, his eyes unseeing, he felt like he was trapped in a cruel nightmare that he couldn't wake up from.

Everything had been normal twenty-four hours ago. Yuuri had been fine. Happy.

Or...seemingly so. Was this why he had been constantly fatigued and plagued with headaches...?

What if the baby didn't...

_Don't even think that..._

The tiny life inside Yuuri had just begun to move a few days ago. It was barely a few months old, but Yuuri had  _felt_ it, the gentle stirrings of their unborn child in his womb.

Viktor ached to feel it himself. The proof that their baby was still alive.

Would he ever get to?

His heart felt constricted and heavy.

_God, please, don't take our baby away..._

"...Viktor?"

Viktor started when a face leaned down into his line of vision, green eyes wide and blond brow furrowed.

"Can you even hear me?" Yuri looked genuinely concerned.

 _I must have zoned out_. He nodded dumbly, blinking. Tears blurred his vision.

Yuri touched his shoulder. "Have they said anything yet?"

Viktor squeezed his eyes shut, desperately trying to keep the tears back.

_Yuuri's all alone back there…_

"Viktor, come on," Yuri was shaking his shoulder, his voice rising in alarm, "is he okay? Is…is the baby okay?"

"They're having to sew his cervix shut," Viktor whispered thickly, "so he won't miscarry."

Yuri's eyes grew wide.

Viktor felt utterly overwhelmed. The gravity of what was happening was beginning to catch up to him, the spikes of adrenaline ebbing away, leaving him shaken, emotionally whiplashed.

If the doctors didn't succeed, Yuuri would lose the baby.

A hitching breath left his mouth, and he buried his face in his hands, his eyes burning. He felt suffocated by worry.

Hesitant hands touched his shoulders again. "I-I'm sorry," Yuri whispered, sounding a bit shocked.

Viktor's shoulders shook. Grief wrapped around his throat.

_We could lose the baby._

_Our baby could die._

He heard the puff of air from Yuri sitting next to him in the other chair, and a slim pair of arms coaxed him into an embrace.

An anguished sob tore from his throat, and his defenses came tumbling down.

He wrapped his arms around Yuri, buried his face in his shoulder, and cried.

 

"It's okay…" the petite hands gently rubbed his back.

 

And cried.

 

"Just…just let it out…" the thin, weak voice didn't even sound like Yuri.

 

 

And cried…

 

 

 

"Shhh…you're okay…th-they'll be okay…"

 

 

 

 

And _cried_.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Totemo fukai" = so deep
> 
> "Kimochi ii" = feels so good
> 
> "Nyet! Lyezhat'!" = no! down!
> 
> "Myesto" = stay
> 
> Comments are loved like a bouquet of kittens. ♡
> 
> (I'm so sorry holy fuck this utterly killed me to write my heart is a gaping hole now)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: there will be medical bullshit galore in this chapter, and some of it will be a little nsfw. I'm no obstetrician, and there may be inaccuracies, so bear with me, pls :)
> 
> Also, content warning: Lil is projecting and she shouldn't, so be wary. I don't usually put trigger warnings, but this chapter may warrant one. Proceed with caution.

_19 weeks, 4 days_

 

Like a ceiling made of opaque black glass, the dark, dreamlike blanket of unconsciousness that hung over him cracked, letting in a few rays of the real world.

The surface beneath him was firm and soft. A slow, steady beep sounded from his left. Those were the only murky details his mind was able to give him through the haze.

He felt disoriented, like the room was spinning, and his mouth and throat were dry. He attempted to force his eyes open, but his eyes barely responded beyond a twitch of his eyelids.

_What…is this...?_

His head buzzed and swam warmly, undeterred by the cold washcloth he had just noticed resting on his forehead. Heat thrummed just beneath his skin, simmering, unnatural, calling to mind the waves of visible heat that drifted up from pavement in the summertime. He must have stayed too long in the onsen.

…no, that wasn't right…he wasn't in Hasetsu.

What day was it?

He began to feel claustrophobic, trapped by the inability to move and how densely pressured his head felt, like someone was squeezing his temples. The hot, stifling feeling caused his pulse to speed up, thumping weakly in his neck like tiny bird wings; even barely coherent, he wasn't free from anxiety...

As his chest rose and fell in shallow pants, the beeping grew faster, and with the spike of adrenaline came a little more awareness of his surroundings.

There was something cold and thin in his forearm. It prickled with pain, like a bee sting, and the muscle of his arm felt weird and sore around whatever it was. What were those things called? He couldn't remember…

Something felt _very_ wrong inside of him. A deep, untouchable ache in his abdominal muscles.

Someone was talking to him, touching his shoulder, but…the voice was distorted, unrecognizable. He couldn't make out any words at all; they sounded like they were talking through a pillow.

He wanted to respond, but his tongue was rubbery and clumsy in his mouth, completely uncooperative. His body and his thoughts were heavy and slow, like he was moving through deep water with weights tied to his limbs.

Hands gently touched his belly, smoothing over it, pressing lightly. It felt strangely tight, much more full and round than normal.

_What…?_

_Oh…that's right…I'm pregnant._

He felt a tiny stab of shame. How could he have forgotten? What was wrong with him, why did he feel so awful?

Out of nowhere, a strange, painful sensation tightly squeezed something deep inside his abdomen, then relaxed after a few seconds. His heart stuttered in fear.

Was that a _contraction?_ Was that what they felt like?

How far along was he again…? It was way too early to have the baby, right?

Fear snaked around his throat, restricting his labored breathing.

 _No…please_ …

Hands were touching him again, moving him.

Something long and sharp pierced the skin on his lower back, slowly sinking deep through muscle and tissue, and an involuntary, choked gasp left his throat. It _hurt_ , oh God, it hurt. A cold, icky feeling bloomed around his hips, down his thighs, like an agonizingly slow electric shock.

Gradually, all of the pain faded. An unnatural, thick numbness enveloped him from the pelvis down, and he sank into it blissfully. So nice…

In the absence of pain, the fog in his brain lifted a little bit more, and he was able to open his eyes halfway.

He was in…a hospital, in a bed, clothed in a thin hospital gown. The ceiling and walls were a crisp, sterile white. A blue curtain was draped over his lower abdomen, hiding the lower half of his body, and he could feel that his knees were spread apart with his heels resting in hard, cuplike surfaces. It was muted by whatever they had done to him, but the space between his legs felt...strange. Unnaturally cold.

He sluggishly turned his head to the side on the cool, smooth pillow; the motion hurt his scalp, and he noticed for the first time that there was a tube running under his nose, blowing a steady stream of cool, sharp-smelling air up his nostrils. A young, blonde haired nurse sat beside him in a chair. Without his glasses, her face was a bit blurry, but she met his eyes with a soft violet gaze, smiling and resting her hand on his own. It felt freezing cold on his hot skin.

"Just keep calm. Everything will be okay," she assured in English, her voice lovely and echoing, reverberating in his mind. Her accent was much heavier than Viktor's.

Wait…where was Viktor, anyway…?

"V…Vik…tor…" he whimpered dazedly, wanting nothing more than to see his fiancé's handsome face, feel his calming presence.

"You'll see him soon," the nurse promised him softly, but his mind wasn't rational. He was starting to panic, he could feel it.

His eyes darted frantically to the blue curtain. "Wh…what…" again, his tongue refused to cooperate with him, but she seemed to understand.

"Your body is sort of…fighting with you, but we're doing our best to fix it now. You're in good hands." She rubbed the back of his hand, trying to comfort him.

Beneath the numbness, he felt a tiny tug somewhere inside his extreme lower abdomen, then another, then another. He wanted to squirm away from the itchy sensation, but he couldn't. What were they doing?

He blinked slowly, his eyelids feeling droopy and hot. Hard to keep them open. He lifted a hand with great effort, holding it against his rounded side. "…b-baby…" His head hurt so badly, and his nose stung with tears as he desperately tried to get the words out, feeling almost hysterical at how difficult it was. "am…I…"

_Am I losing my baby?_

Warm tears made the nurse's face waver in his vision, and he felt her small hand gently pat his distended belly.

"Your baby is still safe inside of you. Rest your mind, dear, fear not." The light from above shone behind her wheat blonde hair, haloing it softly.

"Are you…an angel…?" He managed to get a full sentence out, and the woman gave a breathy laugh and a trembling smile.

"Not quite. I will watch over you if you would like, though."

Her soothing voice and words calmed him, and he relaxed into the mattress, breathing shakily. "Please…" his eyes drifted shut of their own accord, his temples throbbing faintly. "I don't want…to…" his words slurred in his mouth, "…lose…my…" he felt wetness on his cheeks, and guilt flooded his heart. What had even happened…?

Her voice came to him in the darkness, ethereal and wispy, drifting like silk on a breeze.

_"You won't."_

The fine thread holding him awake softly broke, and he finally let go of consciousness, his body going limp.

The last sensation he felt as he blacked out was a delicate flutter in his belly.

-

"You're going to wear yourself out."

Viktor halted his pacing around the small waiting room, tense and jumpy. He shifted his weight from one leg to the other and let out a loud sigh. "I can't help it," he muttered, voice rough. He took a sip of the weak coffee from his tiny, styrofoam cup, wrinkling his nose at the taste. _Even I can make better coffee than this..._

"Just sit down, rest your legs," Yuri suggested, glancing up from his phone, "you're not making things go any faster by pacing around like a lion in a cage." He patted the vinyl seat next to him.

Viktor hesitated, then reluctantly eased down into the chair next to the blond teen, trying his best not to let his leg bounce. What was taking them so long? It seemed like such a simple procedure from the explanation, shouldn't they be done by now?

He hoped they hadn't run into any complications.

His throat was raw and his nose was stuffy, and his eyes were still damp and hot. He felt like he had cried all of his tears out, and now his heart was weirdly empty and light, despite the anxiety still crushing his chest. It was the strangest juxtaposition of hollowness and worry to the point of nausea.

He'd never felt so restless and pulled-apart in his life.

Yuri was slumped down in the chair next to him, reading something on his phone, his hood pulled over his hair. His flaxen braid peeped out from behind the fabric, and his green eyes were tinted blue by the light from his phone screen as they drifted back and forth intently.

Viktor was glad Yuri was with him to give him a metaphorical shake every now and then. If he hadn't been, Viktor had no idea how much more worked up he would be.

Suddenly, he remembered something. "Did you lock the door?"

"Locked the door, fed the dog, and unlike you, remembered that he'll need these later." Yuri took Yuuri's blue framed glasses out of his jacket pocket, holding them out. Viktor took them gratefully.

"Thank you." He slipped them into his own pocket, then huffed out a breath, leaning his head back onto the chair and closing his eyes wearily. They had only been here for about an hour, but it felt like fifty years had passed. He was about to go nuts, separated from Yuuri at such a crucial time; his heart felt like it wanted to claw its way out of his chest and run to find him. Everything in him was screaming that he needed to be with Yuuri right now, instead of sitting uselessly in a waiting room, helpless.

It was insanely frustrating.

He pressed his thumb and fingers into his eyes, rubbing them until he saw static.

_He and your baby need you right now. Your child could be dying._

He was surprised that he even had enough tears left to well up. One trickled down his face, and he wiped it away impatiently.

He felt a hand give his knee a glancing pat.

"He'll be fine. They both will."

Yuri's voice was low, much more sincere than it usually was. Viktor sniffled hard, nodding and sighing. He tried to take comfort in the words, but it was just so hard.

More and more, the worry inside of Viktor was mixing with something else that he didn't need to let get out of hand.

Why had Yuuri been so damn _stubborn?_ Not everything in the world was as black and white as Viktor would have liked, but this seemed extremely clear cut: if they had gone to a doctor sooner, they would have caught this, whatever it was, far before it had gotten this bad.

But Yuuri hadn't wanted to. Every time Viktor had mentioned it, or even so much as expressed worry, he could sense the walls slamming up around Yuuri, cutting him off. For some reason, Yuuri was defensive, still pulling away from him from time to time, as if something was holding him back from completely entrusting himself to Viktor. So strange.

Viktor wished he knew what it was.

He worried his bottom lip between his teeth, picking at the cuticle around his thumb. He suddenly wished that he hadn't quit smoking all those years ago. Yakov had been so angry when he'd seen the box of cigarettes in his duffel bag when he was twenty-two, yelling something about taking care of his lungs while he was skating; Viktor had scoffed a bit, but had quit soon after without telling him. Yakov didn't have to know that he was right.

He hadn't craved a cigarette in years, but damn, did one sound good right now. It would take the edge off.

Alcohol wouldn't hurt, either.

His mind sharply reprimanded him. _Yes, it would. You know how it affects you. You should stay away from it, it can't solve your problems now any more than it ever has_.

His silver fringe fell over his eye as he leaned over, resting his elbows on his knees. A shaky sigh left his lips, and he leaned his forehead on one hand, willing his heart to stop skipping around so much.

"Phichit thinks it's gonna be a boy, by the way."

Viktor stared down at the cracks between the tile, his face softening. "Oh?"

Yuri gave a light scoff. "And he's an idiot. Obviously it's gonna be a girl."

It was a sweet attempt at improving his mood. Yuri must have been worried sick to be being so nice; he'd already made Viktor swear under penalty of death that he'd never tell anyone about the comforting hug that Yuri had given him.

He turned his head to the side, giving Yuri a wan smile over his shoulder. "We'll just have to see."

Yuri hummed in agreement, then they fell silent again, nervously waiting.

-

Thirty minutes later, just when Viktor was about ready to jump out of his own skin, the doctor came back.

She was a statuesque woman in her late forties, dressed in scrubs and a lab coat. Her tawny brown hair was pulled back into a bun at the back of her neck, and her pale grey eyes were sharp, glinting under the fluorescent lights. A beauty mark decorated one high cheekbone, and chained reading glasses perched on the end of her long, straight nose.

"Here for Yuuri Katsuki?" She asked in deep, soft Russian, squinting at her clipboard and pronouncing Yuuri's name with difficulty. She looked up and they both nodded. Viktor's stomach tied itself in knots as she motioned for them to follow her.

"Oh, please, ma'am, don't wait to tell me," Viktor begged, "did the baby survive?"

A smile turned up her lips, and though it was a little thin, it made Viktor's heartbeat quicken with hope.

"Yes, the baby survived. All is well for the time being with both mother and baby."

His entire world slowed to a crawl.

"Oh, God," he breathed shakily, holding his hand to his mouth. His vision wavered, darkened at the edges.

"Hey!" Yuri squawked, catching him as he swayed and nearly fell. "Calm your tits! There's no need to faint now!" Viktor steadied himself with Yuri's help, shaking his head and taking a few deep breaths.

"I'm sorry," he said weakly, tears filling his eyes, "I-I just…" he squeezed his eyes shut, still a bit dizzy.

"Nearly died of relief," Yuri finished for him, but patted his back awkwardly anyway.

The doctor chuckled. "You're not the first expectant father I've ever encountered, trust me. I understand."

She led them down the corridor and around the corner, then up a flight of stairs, and they came to the door of a room with 201 engraved on the plaque. She knocked lightly, and a female voice softly called for them to come in.

The sight that greeted Viktor both comforted and concerned him.

Yuuri lay in one of the two hospital beds in the room, either asleep or just unconscious. The arm that wasn't tucked underneath the taupe knit blanket had two different IV tubes taped against the pale forearm. His hand limply cradled his belly, a soft mound underneath the covers, bathed in warm light from the tiny bedside lamp.

A tiny, blonde nurse in lavender scrubs sat in the chair beside his bed, watching him with a worried set to her delicate brow.

"Yuuri," Viktor whispered hoarsely, and his shaky legs carried him forward. The nurse quickly moved out of the way to give him the chair, and he sat down, searching Yuuri's weary, sleeping face, beautiful even with the slight crease of discomfort between his dark brows. God, his eyelashes were so long... He gently touched Yuuri's still-flushed cheek, but as he trailed his fingers down the pale brow, he noticed that moisture was beading on his temples, dampening his bangs. _That's good, his fever seems to be going down._

Yuri, surprisingly, sat down on the end of the bed, crossing his legs underneath him.

"He's been resting quietly," he heard the nurse tell the doctor in Russian off to the side, "his fever broke a few minutes ago."

"Good. If I need you, I'll send for you." The blonde nodded, walking out the door with a concerned backward glance.

Viktor lifted Yuuri's hand off of his belly, threading his fingers through the loose ones. "I'm assuming everything went relatively well…?" He asked the doctor hesitantly.

The doctor cleared her throat. "Yes, the cerclage was successful. His body received it well, and there are no signs of negative side effects so far. He will, however, be pretty sore for a few days, so he needs to take it easy. He'll be on strict bed rest for at least two weeks, and even after, activity will be limited to prevent further stress. Now," she took her glasses off, letting them dangle against her chest, and sighed. "As for the reason this happened."

Viktor straightened, his brow creasing. The doctor gave Yuri a pointed glance, which was met with a silent raised eyebrow.

"Are you family?" She finally asked him dubiously when it became apparent that he wasn't leaving, and he lifted his chin, his green eyes stony and defiant.

"Yes."

Viktor had to fight to keep the shock from showing on his face.

"You can leave, if you would like. I'll need to be explicit," she warned.

Yuri's eyes flickered to the left, but he didn't waver. "I'll stay, thanks."

Viktor stared at him, his lips parted in silent question. Yuri frowned at him, simultaneously daring him to comment and waiting for permission, and Viktor was surprised at the determined set of his jaw. He simply nodded and decided to say nothing, and Yuri's posture relaxed a bit.

The doctor gave Yuri another suspicious glance, but didn't protest. She dragged the other chair from beside the other bed over, sitting down in it and leaning forward.

"If you had waited a few more hours to bring him here, he almost certainly would have miscarried. His birth canal has prematurely loosened, and he had begun to have mild uterine contractions, but we were able to stop them before they escalated into full-blown preterm labor. As of now, the baby is healthy, and there was no harm done."

Viktor breathed a quiet sigh, squeezing Yuuri's hand lightly, still lightheaded with relief.

"As you know, his cervix was funneling. Opening from the top down." She gestured with one hand, mimicking the shape. "The reason that was happening was a combination of a couple of things. One, from what I could tell, his cervix is naturally a bit short. However, he also has a fairly significant deficiency of both estrogen and progesterone, the hormones responsible for the thickening of an omega's cervix and uterine lining. It caused his cervix to thin and weaken, and that was why he was spotting." The doctor paused for a moment. "It's a fairly recent study, but apparently that deficiency is a staple of male omegas with his particular blood type. It can cause many things other than miscarriage, as well, unrelenting fatigue and migraines being just a couple of them."

 _Well, that explains that…_ Viktor frowned, trying to keep up with all of the new information. "What caused the fever?"

"We checked him thoroughly, and there's no sign of infection anywhere, but I've seen this happen several times before with miscarrying male omegas. Their body gets confused as to what's happening and doesn't know quite how to handle it. The fever is a crude defense mechanism. Now that he's not in danger of miscarrying, his fever will continue to go down, as it is currently."

 _Thank goodness._ "Is there any way to fix the deficiency?"

"Yes. We're giving him small doses of the hormones intravenously, at controlled intervals, so as not to affect the baby. It will build his cervix back up to normal thickness over a period of three to five days."

Viktor wilted a little. "That long?" He knew how much Yuuri despised hospitals.

The doctor looked sympathetic. "I'm afraid so. He needs to be on the hormones for a while. We'll keep him for at least four or five days, to make sure his body doesn't try to reject the pregnancy again. Once he's up and about, he'll need to be careful about the way he moves. His body will have to adjust to his birth canal being prematurely loosened, but soon, he won't even feel it. The stitching will remain as a failsafe, and it will be taken out once he reaches 37 weeks."

Okay. A few days wasn't so bad. Viktor drew in a deep breath and nodded. "Alright. Will I be allowed to stay with him?"

"It's encouraged. He asked for you during the procedure, and we had a little trouble keeping him calm." The doctor's face softened. "He was still delirious."

A sad little band of pity tightened around Viktor's heart. _Poor baby…_

The doctor stood to her feet. "If you need anything when he wakes up, just push that button." She pointed to a small red button on the wall, then left the room with a polite nod.

Viktor let out a long, slow breath, leaning his elbows on the bed and massaging his aching temples. It was getting late, and his body was beginning to get weary, what with all of the emotional stress piled on top of the physical fatigue that still lingered from practice. This much worry couldn't be good for a person. No wonder Yuuri felt bad for seemingly no reason sometimes…

Yuri shifted on the bed, staring down at his phone. "You can sleep if you want. I'll watch him."

Viktor's eyebrows nearly flew off of his forehead. "Awfully charitable today, aren't we?" He asked, overtly sarcastic.

"Okay, look," Yuri snapped, punctuating his words by slapping his phone onto the bed with a thud, "will you just take it or leave it, already? Quit acting so incredulous every time I do something any decent human being would do, it's annoying as fuck."

"I…sorry." Viktor rubbed his eyes, cringing. "I'm sorry, Yuratchka. You've been very kind. I didn't mean it."

Yuri's eyes had softened. "Go to sleep, old man. You're getting cranky in your old age." He picked up his phone, slipping his high-tops off and leaning back against the wall, settling in for however long the wait may be.

Viktor chuckled weakly. "I probably am." He was tempted to crawl up onto the bed beside Yuuri, but he didn't want to hurt him accidentally somehow, so he simply leaned on the bed and folded his arms on the soft blanket, resting the side of his head on them and yawning. All of the stress-induced adrenaline had left him high and dry, and he could barely keep his eyes open.

His eyes burned with suppressed tears as he closed them, letting the tension out slowly. He was asleep in minutes, but not before he sent up one final thought.

_Thank you._

-

Jesus _Christ_ , everything hurt.

Besides the overall, achy soreness, the first thing Yuuri noticed upon waking was a sticky, throbbing feeling inside him, in an unnatural place, and down between his legs, as well. It _burned_ , an itch that he couldn't possibly scratch.

The second was the sting of two IVs in his forearm, both tubes filled with clear liquid. His skin was slightly bruised around the injection sites.

The third was that he wasn't alone.

He had been moved to a comfy looking room, in a hospital bed with various monitors hooked up to him by small wires, and it was dark outside the curtained window. The small bedside lamp gave off a soft, unobtrusive light, just enough to where he could see. The clock on the wall informed him that it was a little after three in the morning.

On top of the taupe knit blanket that covered him, Viktor dozed away with his head resting on his crossed arms, his silver fringe draping over his elbow and his pale, feathery lashes fanning out on his pink cheeks. Despite the pain he was in, Yuuri couldn't help but smile.  _He's so cute…_

Not only was Viktor snoozing, Yuri Plisetsky was curled up on the end of the bed, sound asleep himself with his hoodie tucked around his shoulders like a blanket. Free from the normal stern lines, the teen's face looked so much younger, much more vulnerable and sweet.

Yuuri was taken aback. _Why in the world would he be here…?_  
  
_Wait, the baby—!_

In his sleepy haze of soreness, he'd completely forgotten what all had happened to him. His hand flew to his belly, a tidal wave of panic crashing over him. Still round, yes, but was the baby still alive…?

His breathing quickened rapidly, and a choked whimper burst out of his throat before he could stop it.

Yuri stirred at the end of the bed, pushing himself up groggily and rubbing his eyes. His blond braid hung over his shoulder, strands of hair escaping the elastic and clinging to the side of his face. When he noticed that Yuuri was awake and panicking, his green eyes snapped wide and he shook Viktor's shoulder with a rough "oi".

Viktor started and raised his head, his blue eyes bleary with sleep. His unsteady gaze darted to Yuuri, and he drew in a sharp breath, immediately wide awake.

"Oh, Yuuri," he gasped out, standing quickly from the chair and sitting on the bed. Yuuri reached up his untethered arm in a desperate gesture, and Viktor's arms slid around him in a gentle hug. Yuuri clung to him as tightly as he could, his body shaking violently.

"Viktor, please, _please_ tell me we didn't lose the baby," Yuuri's voice caught in his throat, and Viktor shushed him softly, running his fingers through the back of his hair and kissing his temple.

"The baby is just fine, I promise you. Slow your breathing, my love, I'm here…"

A strangled, sobbing "thank God" left Yuuri's mouth, raw and bleeding with emotion. He rubbed his cheek into Viktor's shoulder, following the pattern of his breathing as best he could, fighting back the icy feeling creeping up the back of his neck. He nuzzled his nose into Viktor's throat, breathing in his scent with every slow, quivering breath.

A small hand was on his calf, petting it hesitantly, as if Yuri didn't know if he should even be in the room but still wanted to provide some sort of comfort.

"There you go…you're fine, love…" he felt another kiss on his brow, and his shoulders loosened, the fear slowly ebbing away. Once he had calmed down enough, Viktor pulled back, cupping his face and looking into his eyes. The blue of his irises was muted in the dim light from the lamp, clouded over with concern, and eyes were red-rimmed, like he had been crying before he fell asleep; guilt poked at Yuuri's heart. "How do you feel?"

Yuuri leaned back against the pillows, trying not to jump and yelp at the strange pull of soreness deep within his pelvis that resulted from the movement. "…weird. Okay, I guess, not as hot, but just…really weird. What did they do to me?"

Yuri gave his leg one last pat and got up, slipping out into the hallway to give them some privacy. Yuuri felt affection warm his heart. _He can be a sweet kid when he wants to be…_

Viktor shifted, kicking off his shoes and drawing his long legs up onto the bed. Yuuri turned on his side with a grunt and scooted over to give him some room, and Viktor rested his head on the pillow next to Yuuri's. Cool, slender fingers came up to trail up and down his upper arm.

"What do you want to know first?"

Yuuri wracked his brain, frowning. "Well…the last thing I really remember is lying on a table, somewhere in the hospital, and…well, pretty much nothing after some time yesterday morning…"

Viktor's eyes roved over his face softly, as if he were happy just to see Yuuri awake and talking, and he didn't want to look away for even a second. "You had a high fever, it made you a little delirious."

"Oh…" Yuuri blinked. "Anyway, when I woke up, they were doing something to me, I could feel it. What was it?"

Viktor's eyes shadowed over. "They were stitching your cervix shut."

Yuuri stared at him, horrified, and his hand wandered to his lower belly. "They _what?"_  His voice felt small in his throat.

Viktor quickly and efficiently explained everything that had happened to him in the past twelve hours. When he finished, Yuuri felt like his heart was being squeezed.

They had nearly lost their baby.

He swallowed hard, feeling sick worry writhe in his stomach.

Viktor reached up to touch his face, and by instinct, he shied away. Uncertainty flickered across Viktor's face. "Yuuri?"

A tear escaped Yuuri's lashes, soaking into the pillow, and he stifled the feeling desperately. His emotions felt like a string, pulled impossibly taut. He was going to break down completely if he didn't regain control of himself quickly.

"I'll be fine," he lied.

 _It was all your fault_ , his thoughts screamed, _You could have killed your baby._

Viktor's eyes bored into his own, obviously sensing his inner turmoil. "Yuuri."

The defensive barrier that had become second nature began to form around him without him even noticing. "It's nothing." He had tried to sound casual, but instead, it came out a lot harsher. It sounded like a reprimand.

Viktor's blue eyes widened. "Nothing?" He repeated in disbelief. His eyes glinted with something that almost looked like anger.

Yuuri stiffened. The air in the room seemed to thicken. "That's what I said, just leave it."

Suddenly, Viktor's face was different. His features seemed to sharpen, like when he was watching Yuuri skate and spotted a flaw. The same look he'd gotten on his face in the parking garage at the Cup of China.

"Losing our baby, would that have been nothing to you?"

The words punched Yuuri in the chest, knocking the breath out of him.

Viktor's eyes were hard, like chips of ice.

Yuuri's mouth worked uselessly for a moment. "You…of course not!" He sputtered, his heartbeat loud in his ears. "How could you say such a thing?" His voice rose higher. _You need to calm down_ , a tiny voice in his mind said, but it was drowned out by the roar in his head.

Viktor leaned back, sizing him up, blue eyes penetrating. Yuuri felt naked under his cool gaze. "Why, then, wouldn't you let me take you to a doctor? Are you afraid?"

Anger rose in Yuuri's chest and throat, hot and cold. "That has nothing to do with this."

"It does," Viktor countered, "They could have caught the cervical incompetence earlier."

"Viktor, are you really doing this right now?" Yuuri asked incredulously, sitting part of the way up and cringing when something inside him pulled painfully. "You really think this is my fault?"

Viktor's brows furrowed, and he also sat up, narrowing his eyes. "I didn't say that."

"Not in so many words." The air in the room was stifling with tension. Yuuri's eyes stung, and he wished he could flee. _No, don't cry—_

A muscle in Viktor's jaw jumped, and he looked away. "All I said was, if you weren't so stubborn, this might've been prevented."

Again, the bluntness took him off guard. He struggled to control the anger welling inside him. "Viktor—"

Viktor got up, his shoulders tense, walking away from the bed and running his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Yuuri, you need to understand that your health is fragile right now. Going to the doctor doesn't make you weak."

Yuuri gritted his teeth. "How ridiculous of you to say that, of course I understand—"

"Then why do you act so _flippant_ when I express concern for you and our child?" Viktor's voice was thin and strained, as if it were seconds away from breaking, and his eyes were desperate. "I want to help you, but you brush me off like it's annoying."

"You _are_ annoying!" Yuuri snapped.

Viktor physically flinched and turned away.

Yuuri felt the blood drain from his face. _Oh, fuck._

He spoke frantically, his heart in his mouth. "Viktor, I-I didn't, that's not what I…I…"

Viktor stood with his back turned, unresponsive and scarily silent. One of his fists clenched, relaxed, and his shoulders squared.

Yuuri's throat tightened. "Viktor—"

A weak chuckle interrupted him, raising chills on his arms. It sounded like a completely different person.

When Viktor spoke, it was quiet, almost wistful, and it cut Yuuri down to the bone.

"And here I had thought that you would grow out of your selfishness." Viktor turned his head slightly, and the coldness in his blue eye chilled Yuuri like a blast of arctic air. "How naive of me," he said lightly, but his voice was terribly brittle.

He pulled Yuuri's glasses out of his jacket pocket and tossed them to the bed, where they landed with a plastic _clack_. Without another word, he stalked out of the room.

Yuuri felt sick to his stomach.

He reached out toward the door. "Viktor," he pleaded weakly, right before the door shut with a loud click.

He was left in the quiet, rapidly quickening beep of the heart monitor, alone.

His hands fell to his belly, his chest numb and cold and heaving. A panic attack was rapidly forcing its way through all of the coping methods he'd learned.

The door abruptly flew open and he jumped, startled out of his panic. Yuri strode through the doorway, scowling back over his shoulder. "What the hell did you do, you stupid Katsudon?"

Yuuri turned on his side away from Yuri, drawing the covers up over his face in half anger, half shame. He didn't want to deal with the Russian Punk right now.

Yuri let out a short, humorless laugh. "Hell no, you're not going to hide from this. I'm not Viktor, and I won't coddle your spoiled ass." Yuri threw the covers back, scowling down at him. "You're not going to be able to do whatever the fuck you want anymore, moron. You have a kid in your belly, for God's sake."

"I know that," Yuuri muttered roughly, giving him a scathing look. Yuri simply shook his head down at him in disgust.

"Then try, I dunno, not being a stubborn prick for five minutes? You might find that it benefits you."

Yuuri snorted, and words came spilling from his lips. "That's _rich_ , coming from you." Immediately, he was mortified at himself. Man, his tongue had a mind of its own today...

Yuri's face twisted in rage. "I don't know why I bothered to try. But hear this, you self-centered little _shit,"_ Yuri leaned down into his space, jabbing his finger in Yuuri's face, and Yuuri recoiled, "For the life of me, I can't figure out why, but that fucking idiot"—Yuri gestured back toward the direction Viktor had left—"loves you more than his own life. Stop being such an ungrateful dickhole to someone who blindly loves you that much." Yuri whirled and stomped out of the room. He paused at the door, his face softening so little that Yuuri barely noticed it. "…I'll go look for him," he muttered begrudgingly, pulling the door closed behind him with more force than necessary.

Yuuri's shoulders slumped, and he reached for his glasses, slipping them on and blinking as his eyes adjusted. He stared down at the mound of his belly underneath the blankets, biting the inside of his lip.

 _Maybe he's right. Maybe I am being ungrateful and selfish_.

He wasn't trying to be, certainly not. He was glad that Viktor cared about him so deeply, but…Viktor had never worried this much about him before, not even when he'd nearly broken his ankle on the ice several months back. A small amount of worry was normal, of course, but...it was disconcerting, and completely unlike him to be so anxious.

He just hoped Viktor would forgive him for being so seemingly callous. It had obviously hurt his feelings pretty badly.

Yuuri sighed deeply, smoothing his hand over the curve of his belly. It was swelling outward more every day, growing rounder and more prominent. It felt so surreal, how his skin was stretching taut, how his body was changing and reshaping around the baby in his womb. He made a mental note to ask Yuuko if she had any useful tips for minimizing stretch marks.

A sudden twitch in his womb brought a mild smile to his lips. _At least you're still here_ … The baby was steadily growing more real in his mind; the little kicks and squirms were getting stronger and easier to feel every day, reminding him just how big they were getting.

Maybe soon, Viktor would be able to feel it, too.

If he came back.

 _Don't be ridiculous, of course he'll come back_ , the sliver of his mind that was still rational told him.

 _He's done with your bullshit_ , whispered the other ninety percent.

Yuuri snuggled down into bed and pulled the warm blanket up over his shoulders, his breath hitching and his brow creasing when soreness stabbed between his legs. He took deep, slow breaths, focusing on the tiny flutters of life in his belly, doing his best to calm down and not give in to the anxiety scraping insistently at his chest cavity.

He was so _tired_. Emotionally, mentally, and physically. Way too much had happened too quickly, and his body refused to catch up. He needed to rest, not allow his mind to spin out of control, so he shoved the dark thoughts as far back in his mind as he could.

Viktor would come back.

He held his hand up to the light of the lamp, watching the light play across the golden band on his finger.

He would definitely come back.

But it didn't stop the ache in his heart.

-

The lights of St. Petersburg were hazy and twinkling against the pre-dawn sky. Viktor gazed out from the balcony of the hospital, leaning his elbows on the railing, shivering a bit in the damp breeze. Fog hung low in the sky and blurred the colors of the streetlamps together; they would probably get rain in the next few hours.

Now that he had replayed the conversation over several times in his head, he realized that he had overreacted rather spectacularly. He knew that Yuuri wasn't always good with finding the right words to say in tense situations. Quite frankly, he was horrible at it. He obviously hadn't meant what he said.

He sighed. He needed to go back and apologize. Yuuri was most likely picking apart their conversation in his own mind, working himself into an anxious frenzy.

"Go comfort your ridiculous Katsudon, you probably gave him a fucking panic attack."

As if reading his mind, Yuri's voice sounded from behind him, and Viktor pushed himself off of the railing, turning to face him. The wind ruffled his bangs, tickling his cheek.

When he didn't say anything, Yuri's scowl deepened. "Well? Go on," he prodded, flipping his braid over his shoulder and looking annoyed, "I'm sick of being the little dove of peace between you two children. Kiss and make up already, and grow the fuck up. He's supposed to be avoiding stress right now, not having it heaped on his head by his own fiancé."

Viktor winced inwardly. "I deserved that."

"Damn right you did. Now go." Yuri gave him a shove, and Viktor obeyed.

"When did you become so wise, Yura?" He teased weakly, and Yuri rolled his eyes with a long-suffering sigh.

"Someone has to be the smart one around here. It obviously isn't either of you."

_Definitely isn't me._

"I suppose you're right." Viktor drew in a deep breath and set his jaw determinedly, walking back down the hall and hoping that Yuuri would forgive him.

-

Twenty-four minutes after their fight, Viktor came back.

Not that Yuuri had counted.

He had managed to mostly calm himself, even to the point that he was able to doze a bit, though it was more from sheer exhaustion than peace of mind. He heard the door creak open in his almost-sleep, but didn't stir. He kept his back to the door, feigning deeper sleep.

Footsteps tapped the floor, then the bed dipped as someone sat down.

"Yuuri?" Viktor's voice was so low he almost didn't hear it. Even though he had been angry, he still didn't want to disturb Yuuri's rest. It made Yuuri's nose prickle with guilty tears. He didn't deserve that kind of considerate sweetness after being so awful.

After a few moments of silence, Viktor let out a slow, quiet sigh, very lightly combing his fingers down the back of Yuuri's hair. "You're a hard one to figure sometimes," he said under his breath, but his words were colored with a rueful fondness. He played with Yuuri's hair for several minutes, and it nearly had him falling asleep again.

He finally felt Viktor pull away, rising from the bed with a creak. Yuuri stirred and voiced a faint moan, cracking his eyes open.

"I didn't mean to wake you," Viktor said softly, sitting back down.

"It's okay," Yuuri murmured. He rolled over to face Viktor with considerable effort; his lower half still felt weird and tingly, slow to respond to his brain's commands. Viktor's fingers brushed his bangs aside tenderly, his beautiful eyes dark and sad.

"I shouldn't have run off like that. I'm so sorry, Yuuri." He hesitantly leaned down, and Yuuri tilted his chin up to meet him. Their lips met in a brief, chaste kiss, then Viktor rested one hand on the apex of Yuuri's belly, rubbing lightly with his thumb. "Please, forgive me."

Yuuri looked down, seeing the ring on Viktor's finger glint in the half light. "Of course, I do. I-I'm sorry for what I said, too…it wasn't what I meant at all." His face burned.

"I know." Viktor let the words out in one breath.

A quiet fell over them for a moment, and several different emotions played across Viktor's face. Sadness, regret, worry…love. To Yuuri's surprise, his blue eyes were slowly filling with tears. Something was evidently weighing heavy on his mind.

"Talk to me," Yuuri murmured, lifting Viktor's hand to his lips and dropping a kiss to the ring. Viktor managed a conflicted-looking smile.

"I don't…really know what to say."

"Then I'll ask." Yuuri gazed up at him sadly. "Why are you so worried about me? I understand that you need to worry a little, but lately it's seemed…excessive. You're anxious all the time, I can tell. It's hurting you, and you won't tell me why." His voice wavered on the last word.

Viktor's shoulders slowly lowered, and his resolve seemed to break. "I just don't want to lose either of you, _miliy."_

Yuuri's lip quivered at the raw pain in Viktor's voice. "Why do you think you'll lose us?" He asked softly.

Viktor was very quiet and still for a minute, and Yuuri simply waited, stroking the long, slender fingers of his hand, playing with the cool ring.

"I don't know how to start," Viktor finally rasped, and Yuuri reached up to trail the back of his knuckles down the smooth cheek. Even with tears threatening to fall and his nose and lips red, Viktor was achingly beautiful.

"Start however you like." Yuuri gave a reassuring smile, gazing up into the pools of blue-green, running the pad of his thumb over Viktor's soft bottom lip. Viktor pursed his lips, mulling his words. The atmosphere in the room grew tense and heavy, sadness weighing in the air. It was a tangible thing, hanging like a cloud.

Viktor looked extremely reluctant to speak, obviously fighting an inward battle of some sort. Yuuri had never seen him so uncertain. When the words came, they fell from his lips softly. "When I was twenty-four, I…" he closed his eyes in a brief wince, "…I lost my father."

Yuuri's heart sank. He had always wondered why Viktor never talked about his parents. "I'm so sorry, Viktor." He kissed his knuckles again, and Viktor gripped his hand tightly, as if to ground himself in the present. His voice sounded distant, his eyes seeing another time.

"He and my mother were in a car accident. The other driver was drunk, he…he t-boned them at an intersection, going about ninety miles an hour. The driver's side of the vehicle took the brunt of the force, and my father died instantly. My mother didn't." Viktor swallowed, looking a bit ill. "She was completely paralyzed from the waist down. She was inconsolable, because without her legs, she couldn't dance anymore."

"She was a ballerina?"

"Yes."

Yuuri felt awful for her. "I bet she's very beautiful."

"She was." A fragile, trembly smile turned Viktor's lips up, and his voice grew hushed and reverent. "I got my hair from her, but her eyes were green. As green as the leaves on the trees. I always thought she was the prettiest lady in the world. Her hair was so long and soft, like spun silk. She would let me brush it and play with it when I felt sad or afraid…it always used to make me feel safe. She eventually taught me how to braid it several different ways. I-I think…that's why I grew my own hair out so long. She was my role model in everything I did." Viktor's voice trailed off, and he didn't speak for a minute.

Yuuri intertwined their fingers, waiting.

Viktor chewed on his lip briefly, then continued, his voice growing quieter, shaking like a leaf. "She tried so hard to make her legs work again. She spent all the money she could, going to different doctors around the world, desperately looking for a cure. But she never found one."

Yuuri could sympathize. He would go insane if he couldn't ever skate again.

"She fell into a deep depression. Eventually, she got severely addicted to her prescription pain medication. Yuliana tried so hard to take her to a counselor, but she wouldn't go. She kept telling us that her life was over, that my father and dancing were her everything, and without them, she might as well be dead." Viktor drew in a shuddering breath, his eyes wet and haunted. "Nothing we told her got through to her. No matter how much we told her we loved her, that she wasn't a burden, she withdrew more and more. It was like part of her was missing, lost forever. After several months, she almost seemed like a different person altogether." Hurt flashed across his face, and Yuuri reached up to cradle his cheek with one hand, wishing he could take his pain away.

"About eight months after my father died, we—" his voice cracked and a tear slid down his cheek. Yuuri wiped it away, dreading what he was pretty sure was coming. "Me and my sister had just come home from the rink, we…we f-found mama in the bathroom. She had…" he turned his face away, but Yuuri saw it crumble. He gently tugged Viktor down onto the bed, and Viktor laid down next to him and wrapped his arms around him, unable to continue. Soft, hitching sobs shook his body, such grieving, sorrowful sounds that it made Yuuri's throat hurt. He regretted making Viktor talk about this.

"You don't have to finish," Yuuri whispered, running his fingers through Viktor's fine, silky hair.

Viktor caught his breath, shaking his head in quick jerks. "No, I-I need to face this. I still haven't even t-talked about it, not since it happened." Viktor sniffled deeply into Yuuri's chest, his breathing shaky. The rest of the words came tumbling out quickly. "She had…sh-she shot herself, she was dead when we found her," the last few words came out in a tight, coughing sob.

"Oh, Viktor," Yuuri cried softly, tears filling his own eyes. He held Viktor tightly, blinking the moisture away. Viktor wept brokenly into his chest, clenching the fabric of the blanket in his fist.

"There was so much blood," Viktor sobbed out, and Yuuri squeezed his eyes shut, his mouth tight. Tears trickled down his cheeks. "I've never seen so much of it in my life, it was _awful_ …"

"Just let it out, sweetheart, I'm here," Yuuri managed through his tears, brushing Viktor's hair back from his forehead, pressing his lips against it. He couldn't even bring himself to imagine losing his own parents, much less in such a horrific way...

Twenty-four…that was the age that Viktor had parted with the long hair that had become his signature. The media had lauded him for it, citing it as a 'brilliant artistic decision', but now Yuuri wondered if his mother's death was the real reason Viktor had cut his hair off.

It was a few minutes before Viktor could calm down completely, his sobs fading into quiet sniffles. Yuuri rubbed his back, feeling the fabric of his shirt warm up underneath his palm.

"You've never called me that before," Viktor whispered, huffing out a wet laugh, and Yuuri caught a tear with his thumb, brushing it away. "I like it."

Yuuri gave a half-smile and wiped his own face. "Maybe I should do it more often, then."

"I'd like that." Viktor sniffled again and sighed. "I'm sorry I've never told you that before, it…it wasn't something I could talk about, for a long time."

"Thank you for putting that trust in me." Yuuri kissed the top of his hair, and Viktor threaded their fingers together.

"I've been wanting to for a while. I think, unconsciously, that it may be why I worry myself sick about you and the baby. I just don't want to lose either of you, like I lost them." His voice was a hoarse whisper. "Your pregnancy was already so high risk before, and now with this happening…" he choked up, burying his face in Yuuri's chest again. "I just f-feel so helpless. Like there's nothing I can do to protect either of you, and it… _frustrates_ me."

Guilt pressed down on Yuuri's heart. "I'm sorry I've been such a stubborn idiot," he whispered. "You were right, I've been terribly selfish. I should have gone to the doctor way earlier than this, I don't even feel like I have an excuse. My pride got in the way, and it shouldn't have, not with something this important. We..." he swallowed around the lump in his throat. "We nearly lost the baby just because of my stubbornness. That needs to change. From now on, worry as much as you like, as long as you're not hurting yourself in the process. At this point, worry is absolutely warranted. I'll try not to get irritated with you again." He lifted Viktor's hand, kissing his fingertips. "And also, you aren't annoying, that wasn't what I meant to say. I may get frustrated with you sometimes, but that's partially my fault for being a terrible communicator."

Viktor nodded against his chest. "You're right."

"You're not supposed to agree with that…" Yuuri muttered, and they both laughed softly. "I'm really sorry, anyway. I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean to give you even more to worry about…"

"You're forgiven. I'll try not to hover so much." Viktor's cheek rubbed his chest. "We're just a collective mess, aren't we?" He gave another tearful laugh.

Yuuri rubbed a chunk of Viktor's hair in between his fingers, picking it up and letting it fall, feeling the softness. "We are. We'd better shape up if we're going to be parents."

One of Viktor's hands came to rest on top of his belly, and he covered it with his own hand. "I can't wait to meet them," Viktor whispered with another sniffle. "You said something...while you were delirious, you know."

"Oh, boy. What would that be?" Yuri asked warily. There was no telling.

A sweet, longing smile crossed Viktor's face. "You said that you wanted the baby to have my surname."

Yuuri sighed, frustrated with himself. "I...well, kudos to delirious me for spoiling my surprise..."

"You really want that?" Viktor stared up at him, his blue eyes inquisitive, and Yuuri's cheeks grew warm.

"Yeah...if...if you wouldn't mind."

"Yuuri, no, I-I would...really like that." Viktor sounded so honored. His face looked thoughtful. "It will depend on whether the baby is a boy or a girl, which name it will be."

"Which name?"

"If it's a boy, it will be Nikiforov, but if it's a girl, it will be Nikiforova. It's different, depending."

 _How pretty_. "That's interesting. I like it a lot," Yuuri said softly. A faint press from inside the walls of his belly made him draw in a quick breath. "Did you feel that?" He asked hurriedly, and Viktor looked up at him curiously.

"Feel what?"

"Ah…the baby's just kicking." Yuuri tried not to feel too disappointed. "I guess it's still not big enough to feel from outside."

Viktor's tired blue eyes brightened. "Oh," he breathed, scooting down and propping on one elbow to pull the covers down and Yuuri's hospital gown up, exposing most of his skin to the cool air.

Yuuri gave a muted squawk, yanking the sheets up to preserve his modesty. "Viktor," he scolded.

"Aw, it's just us. No one saw." He leaned down and rubbed the protruding bump gently, his hand warm against Yuuri's bare skin. "Hello in there," he cooed, and Yuuri felt more soft movement. "Can you hear us, _malyshka?_ Did you hear us talking about you?"

Yuuri smiled, pressing his fingers into his side, trying to determine exactly where the baby was. "I think they did, I felt another kick when you said that. They can hear sound by now." _Sitting pretty low._

"Wow," Viktor exclaimed, delighted. His lips brushed the tight skin beneath Yuuri's navel, tickling slightly. "I can't wait until I'm able to feel it, too." He gently pressed the pad of his finger into the dip of Yuuri's belly button. "This isn't going to be here for much longer."

Yuuri smiled ruefully. It was true. As his belly grew bigger, his navel was beginning to flatten outward.

Viktor tilted his head up to look at Yuuri, his pale hair falling over his eye. "By the way. Yuri has informed me that our baby is a girl, and that Phichit is an idiot for thinking it's a boy."

"Oh, my God." Yuuri snorted. "Imagine the vying for attention those two are going to do."

Viktor laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "You mean that they're _doing_. They're already competing for best uncle, and I have a feeling Chris will eventually be in on it, too. I wouldn't be surprised if Minami elects himself older brother, either. And just _imagine_ the triplets being big sisters…"

As they daydreamed about the coming years, Yuuri's heart felt light for the first time in a while. Their baby was going to have a huge family. So many people already loved them so much.

He was glad to see that Viktor's eyes had softened. While they were still a bit sad, they looked much clearer. Yuuri had a feeling that he was immensely relieved to get that weight off of his chest after so long. Perhaps now he could begin to heal properly.

They soon lay quietly, Viktor rubbing slow circles on Yuuri's belly, and his eyes grew heavy in the silence, lulled by the gentle touch. The fever felt mostly gone, but now he felt drained and even more exhausted and sore than usual. The pit of his pelvis still burned and stung. He hoped it would be better once he woke up.

Viktor spoke up softly. "You're tired. I should let you sleep." He moved to get up, but Yuuri tightened his arms around him.

"Stay. Please."

Viktor hesitated, then relaxed, resting his cheek on Yuuri's chest. "I just don't want to hurt you somehow in my sleep."

"You won't," Yuuri yawned and snuggled down further, removing his glasses and setting them aside. As he drifted off, he felt Viktor's warm hand come to rest on his baby bump, and a whisper caressed his mind.

"Okay."

-

The halls of a hospital at four in the morning were a bit unnerving, especially a hospital as old as this one. _Bet there are a few ghosts in here._

Most everyone was asleep, but a few nurses were awake, walking the halls, checking on patients. They gave him sunny smiles as they passed him, nodding politely.

He paced the halls, his phone held to his ear underneath his hood. The rich, velvety voice in his ear had calmed him down considerably, as it usually did. No one else could quell his anger quite so effectively.

"I just don't want to…I dunno, intrude on their relationship, I guess. I feel like I may have overstepped earlier. He honestly looked like I had slapped him in the face." He winced at the memory.

The soft voice on the other line was deep and husky with sleep. "You can be a bit abrasive, you know."

"Watch it." But he smiled, rubbing the smooth end of his braid over his lips, a nervous habit he had picked up once his hair had gotten long enough.

"In all seriousness, perhaps he needed it. It sounds to me like they both need to learn better communication skills."

"Mm. We, a couple of actual children, know all about that."

A quiet chuckle. "You have a point."

He still felt guilty. "So you don't think I was too harsh?"

"Maybe, maybe not." He heard the soft shuffle of sheets against bare skin through the phone. "You could always just apologize."

"Ugh."

"Just a suggestion." The tone was amused.

"Why do you have to be so rational?" He accused.

"Isn't that why you called me? For advice? And at an ungodly hour, mind you."

"Yeah…" he stopped down the hall from room 201, shifting his weight nervously. "I should probably go check on them to make sure they haven't killed each other while I was gone."

"Now, I highly doubt that happened."

"Hey, you didn't hear the argument. It was vicious. There was blood."

"You're a drama queen." His voice grew softer. "Go check on them."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going."

"And Yura?"

"Mm?"

"If you ever need anything, I'm here. Don't forget that."

A fond smile tugged at one corner of his lips.

"Thanks, Beka."

"Now let me sleep, you heathen. It's nearly five a.m."

"Okay, okay. Good night."

"Pff. Good morning is more like it. Talk to you later."

"Bye," Yuri murmured, swiping to hang up. The name 'Otabek' faded off of his screen, returning to the lock screen, a snapshot of his fluffy Himalayan playing with her favorite toy. He tucked the phone into his jacket pocket.

Soon, he stood outside the door of Yuuri's room. He couldn't hear anything inside, so either they had made up, or Viktor had stormed off again.

 _I don't really wanna do this, but…_ Worry won out, and he eased the door open silently.

Here in the darkness, no one saw the secret smile that tugged at his lips.

Viktor and Yuuri were curled up against each other in the small bed, sleeping soundly, their tired faces free of worry for the first time in hours. Viktor's head was pillowed on Yuuri's shoulder, his forehead tucked under his fiancé's chin. His arm was draped over the swell of Yuuri's stomach, which was truly starting to look like it was housing a growing baby.

The tension drained from Yuri's shoulders, and he reluctantly allowed the affection to creep into his heart.

He pulled out his phone again, muting it so that the shutter wouldn't make noise, and snapped a picture of the tender moment.

…just for posterity, nothing more.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Miliy = dear one
> 
> Malyshka = baby
> 
> I've always had the thought that something happened to Viktor's parents. I headcanon that it was part of the reason his mannerisms and smile were so fake and stilted after he skated Stammi Vicino the first time. None of this is canon, of course, just my personal take on it.
> 
> I've had similar circumstances in my own life. I apologize for projecting ;;
> 
> Also: someone please give Yurio a fuckin marriage counselor certificate already. That kid is a treasure. I also headcanon that, with Yuri, Otabek is a little more expressive. Still deadpan, but with a super dry sense of humor, so I apologize if he seems a little ooc...
> 
> The next chapter may be a tiny bit slow coming. I have portfolio review at university in three weeks, and I'm absolutely working myself into overtime with projects for it. However, after that, things should clear up enough for me to write!
> 
> Comments, as always, are my absolute favorite thing in the world. I'm so thankful for all the feedback I've received so far, you guys have utterly blown me away!!
> 
> If you ever want to chat/scream headcanons at me, I'm found on Tumblr @lilithsins.
> 
> ♡♡♡


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit, I am so sorry it took me so long to update. Portfolio review damn near killed me, but THANK JESUS, it's over. 
> 
> As an apology, this chapter is chock full of fluff! ♡♡ it starts the morning after the last chapter ended.
> 
> Tiny content warning: medical procedures/examinations.
> 
> Edit: Holy FUCK. I JUST REALIZED THAT THIS STORY HAS REACHED 11,000 HITS. :OOO I can't believe it!! I could have never dreamed that so many people would like my story!! Thank you all SO much for reading and commenting!! ♡♡♡

_"It's been rough, but we'll be just fine._  
_We'll work it out; we'll survive."_  
_—"Soon We'll Be Found", Sia._

_19 weeks, 5 days_

  
The sight of Viktor sound asleep on his chest did funny, melty things to Yuuri's heart.

He hardly ever woke up first; Viktor was usually the one to nudge him awake if he slept too long. Even though he was no more of a morning person than Yuuri was, it was extremely unusual for Viktor to sleep in past seven or eight, unless he was sick or just plain exhausted. It was a rare treat to see Viktor like this, his pretty, rosy lips parted and his features relaxed sweetly in slumber. His soft cheek rested over Yuuri's heart, and one of his arms was limply (but carefully) slung over Yuuri's belly, protective even in his sleep.

 _He's so adorable._ Yuuri gazed down at him, smiling softly and brushing a few errant strands of silver off of his smooth forehead.

Viktor didn't even stir. The hollowed shadows beneath his closed eyes told Yuuri enough.

He decided to let him sleep until he woke on his own.

He squinted up at the clock on the wall, barely able to read it without his glasses on. It was afternoon sometime. The cool light of a cloudy sky already drifted through the curtains, and if he strained, he could hear a few birds singing outside. Craning his neck, he peeked out between the window facing and the curtains and blinds; the sky was, indeed, a muted grey. _Looks like rain._

He stretched as carefully as he could without waking his slumbering fiancé, wincing when a dull pain zapped his lower back; it was stiff and sore from being in the same position for too long. It was becoming harder to sleep comfortably this way; the growing weight of the baby pressing down on his back eventually put a crick in it. He much preferred sleeping on his side, with a pillow underneath the side of his belly to take the strain off of his back.

 _Already getting big enough to hurt my back, huh?_ He smiled ruefully down at the bump of his belly underneath the covers.

As if answering his thoughts, the tiny perpetrator gave a slow, lazy movement inside of him; he wasn't positive, but it felt like the baby had rolled against the walls of his uterus. It felt so strange. He patted the side of his stomach that the baby lay against. _Good morning to you, too._

Mindful of the IVs pulling in his forearm, he carefully reached over and picked up his phone, unlocking it and scrolling through his Instagram feed. Before he'd met Viktor, he hadn't been in the habit of using social media. He had hardly used his account at all, it had been Phichit's idea for him to make one in the first place. Now, he actually found himself looking forward to seeing what his fellow skaters were up to.

A snapshot of Chris, kissing his fluffy white cat on the tip of her pink nose, one of her little paws held to his scruffy cheek. A group photo that Sara Crispino had taken, out bowling with a few of her skating girlfriends. A picture of one of Phichit's hamsters snoozing in their tiny, cozy bed. A picture that J.J.'s fiancé had taken of him, out on the rink practicing and throwing her a grinning thumbs up. A selfie that Guang Hong Ji had posted, lying in bed, his hair messy and his eyes soft from sleep. And lastly, a picture of Yuri at practice that Mila had snagged, lifting his lengthening blond hair into a ponytail, scowling and talking at her camera; Georgi held up a peace sign in the background.

Yuuri let out a quiet sigh through his nose. He couldn't deny that seeing the pictures of his rinkmates practicing made his heart ache with longing. He missed skating terribly already, and the season hadn't even started yet. It was a feeling very much like homesickness. He supposed he was sitting out for a very good reason, but he still felt lonely and left out.

Maybe he could attend practice with Viktor sometime once he had recovered. It may help him feel a little better.

For a while, he was content, answering a few messages and enjoying the quiet that was only broken by Viktor's slow, even breathing. Now that he had a chance to relax, Yuuri realized just how exhausted he was, despite the sleep he'd gotten. He was grateful for the moment of respite.

A few minutes of silent scrolling later, Viktor stirred on his chest, drew in a deep breath, and his eyes opened halfway, his feathery, pale eyelashes catching the light and sparkling. What was visible of his irises glimmered with muted blues and soft greens in the cloudy, washed out sunlight. Yuuri wondered if there would ever be a time when his breath wouldn't be taken away by how pretty Viktor was.

Even if he had drooled on Yuuri's hospital gown.

 _"Ohayou,"_ Yuuri said softly, tucking Viktor's bangs behind the shell of his ear. The sleepy blue eyes closed briefly in a feline blink, and Yuuri caught a glimpse of his pink tongue as he wet his lips and stretched, voicing a soft grunt as he did. He relaxed and buried his face back in the blanket covering Yuuri's chest.

 _"Dobroye utro,"_ his voice was raspy and muffled by the fabric. He lifted a hand and scrubbed his eyes, speaking through a wide yawn. "What time is it?" His accent was always a bit thicker when he first woke up, and it was so endearing.

"Early afternoon. We slept the morning away." Yuuri let out a yawn himself.

Viktor's hand came to rest on his belly; it had become a morning habit. "How do you feel?"

"Okay." Yuuri sighed. "Pretty tired, but better than yesterday, for sure. No fever that I can tell."

Viktor smiled softly against his chest. "I'm glad." His thumb traced a loving back and forth path beneath Yuuri's navel.

The hospital room was fairly cool from the air vents, so Yuuri moved to scoot further down underneath the blankets, a move that he immediately regretted.

Blazing pain jolted up through his stomach from between his legs; the back of his head hit the pillow and a pained, startled _"Oh!"_ was punched from his chest before he could think to stifle it.

Viktor quickly sat up and touched his shoulder, his eyes filling with concern. "Are you okay?"

Yuuri's eyes welled up and he covered them with the heels of his hands, his face scrunched, breathing in shallow, tearful pants. The pain had taken his breath away. "I think so," he finally said weakly, "Just soreness." He swallowed hard and relaxed cautiously, and the sharp stinging slowly began to fade to a dull ache.

Sympathy darkened Viktor's eyes. "I'm so sorry. I wish I could help you feel better."

Yuuri reached up shakily and pulled him back down so that they were facing each other on their sides. "This will help." He snuggled close to Viktor's chest, wrapping his arms around him and burying his nose in his collarbone.

Viktor breathed a quiet laugh, slipping his arms around Yuuri as well. "If you're sure."

Yuuri let out a soft, affirmative noise, breathing in Viktor's scent with every slow inhale; the unique, musky aroma mingled with the smell of clean laundry. It was a healing balm for Yuuri's weary heart. Thankfully, the pain had faded almost completely, now that he wasn't moving.

For a long time, they simply lay there, feeling each others presence keenly, reveling in the closeness. Viktor rested his chin on the top of Yuuri's head, sifting his fingers through the back of his hair; it felt so nice. He loved it when Viktor played with his hair.

As he lay there in Viktor's arms, warm and safe and loved, he couldn't help but marvel. He could have never dreamed when he was younger that he would be this close to Viktor Nikiforov, much less be engaged to him and carrying his baby. He felt close to Viktor in more ways than simply physical; it was like they were in sync, attuned to each other's bodies like only soul mates could be. They were so close that the heat from Viktor's body seeped through the fabric of his hospital gown, keeping him warm and cozy, and he could feel the sturdy, rhythmic _thmp thmp_ of Viktor's heart against his cheek, pulsing life through his veins.

The intense affection in his heart filled his eyes with tears and made his lips tremble.

Oh, how he adored this man.

_Stupid hormones..._

He tried his best not to let the tears fall, and his throat ached with the effort, but a few droplets escaped his lashes undeterred and trickled over the bridge of his nose, seeping into the fabric of Viktor's shirt.

A few seconds later, he felt Viktor's hand rest hesitantly between his shoulder blades. "Are you crying?"

Yuuri didn't answer, but pulled the loose neck of Viktor's shirt down a little. He raised his chin to press a long, soft kiss to Viktor's warm skin, right over his heart, and he felt Viktor draw in a surprised breath. "I love you," he murmured, squishing his flushed cheek back against Viktor's chest.

Viktor's fingers stilled in his hair. "Oh, Yuuri," he said breathlessly, "I love you, too. So, so much." He tenderly cradled the back of Yuuri's head in his hand. "But why are you crying? Is it because of your hormones, or…?"

"It just…" more tears fell. "I'm sorry…it…"

Viktor was quiet, patiently waiting for him.

_Go on. Open up to him; you know that he'll meet you halfway, just like always._

"…it scares me." He allowed the crack to spiderweb up his emotional defenses, curling in on himself in embarrassment.

"What scares you?" Viktor sounded a bit confused.

Yuuri sniffled. "How much I love you, it…it scares me." God, it sounded so stupid out loud. "I…well, I never had anyone before you. I had never been in love. Then, all of a sudden, you were here, and I fell for you so suddenly, and I just…it took me off guard. I love you so much that it makes me cry sometimes, because it scares me." Yuuri's face felt hot, his voice faltering. "I'm not making much sense…"

"No, I understand." Viktor's hand rubbed up and down his back. "The intensity of it is what scares you, yes?" Yuuri nodded gratefully. "I feel the same. When I fell in love with you, it was like the world sort of…exploded into full color for the first time. Everything is so much more vibrant now, and I do mean everything. Every emotion I feel is heightened, like the sensitivity is turned up to maximum, and at times, it can be a bit overwhelming."

"That's exactly it," Yuuri whispered, "it's…so _much_. It's like…um…" he hated trying to put his feelings into words, he was so abysmally bad at it, but Viktor deserved to hear them. "I've never felt this way about anyone, but with you, I feel like…it's almost like you're part of me. You know me so well, it's like your soul is…in tune with mine. That level of closeness, it…it's amazing, it's _incredible_ , but it also…"

"…terrifies you?" Viktor finished for him softly.

Yuuri closed his eyes and nodded, ashamed. "…but not necessarily in a bad way. It's just…a lot to take in, all at once."

Viktor's lips pressed against the top of his head. "You don't have to take it in all at once," Viktor murmured. "I'll always wait for you. We have the rest of our lives, my love. Go at your own pace."

Yuuri bit back a quiet sob. Viktor was so considerate, patient to a fault. He gave himself so completely, so freely to Yuuri, but never _once_ had he rushed or pressured Yuuri to do the same. His arms were always open for Yuuri whenever he needed anything. Viktor loved him with such trust and intimacy, and yet Yuuri still held back, too cowardly to step up and trust him on the same level.

Viktor didn't deserve that.

He deserved _agape_. Unconditional love.

More words came spilling out, loosened by uncertainty. "And now, with…" he sniffled again. "With the baby coming, I just feel like…I'm two steps behind everything that's happening. It's all happened so fast, but yet, at the same time, it feels like it's going so slowly, and even on top of _that_ , it feels like I'm being yanked in every direction at once." The insecurities had been pecking at his mind for a couple of months now, bottled up. "I feel… _lost_." His voice broke. "And I miss skating so much that it's starting to hurt. I didn't think I would miss it this much, but seeing pictures of everyone practicing earlier nearly made me cry." He was rambling now, jumping from one topic to another too quickly, but he found that he didn't care. He needed the emotional release.

Viktor made a sympathetic noise, his hand lightly smoothing down the side of Yuuri's protruding stomach. "I can imagine."

"A-and…what if…what if I'm not a good mother?" His voice caught again, but he pushed through. "It…I love our baby, Viktor, I love them so much, but are we ready to be parents? Are we ready to raise a child? Will I really want to return to skating after giving birth to a baby? What if…something happens, and I _can't_ return?" His voice wobbed dangerously on the last few words, and he let out a rough sob, tears dampening the front of Viktor's shirt.

"Shhh….calm down, love, we still have some time to adjust before the baby comes." Viktor pulled back and wiped away Yuuri's tears, his other hand cradled underneath Yuuri's cheek. "You're barely halfway through yet, and this is a short time in your life. This is just your hormones messing with your feelings." A kiss was dropped to his forehead.

Yuuri rubbed his eyes, his lips trembling. "I-I know, but…I…I'm already a mess, what will I be like when I have a tiny human to take care of? I'm going to give them a _complex_." It was one of his greatest fears. He didn't think he could bear it if he passed his crippling anxiety on to his own child. No one deserved to suffer like that.

"Yuuri, no." Viktor sighed, "You're going to be a wonderful mother to our baby, trust me. You may not be perfect, but no one is. You'll do just fine."

Yuuri sniffled hard, rubbing his nose. "How do you know?" His voice sounded so feeble. When he looked up, Viktor's eyes were mournful pools of blue. Gentle and unwavering.

"Because I have faith in you, _miliy_. More than you do in yourself."

The soft, simple answer, so similar to the words Yuuri himself had cried to Viktor just before the Cup of China, weaved around his heart. The tension slowly drained from his body. Viktor had known exactly what he needed to hear.

He buried his face back in Viktor's shirt, hugging him tightly. "Thank you," he choked out hoarsely, feeling small and safe in Viktor's strong embrace.

They stayed like that for a couple of minutes, then when they both relaxed, Viktor carefully scooted down to eye level with him and took his hand. The sincerity in his beautiful eyes went straight to Yuuri's soul.

"It's okay to be scared, Yuuri. But I have full confidence that you will be an amazing parent." Viktor's gaze was firm. "And you won't be alone, you know. At least have a little faith in me, so that I can, in turn, have faith in you. That's how a relationship works." His fingertips trailed Yuuri's jawline.

Yuuri breathed in, breathed out. "Okay. I'll try."

Viktor leaned forward and gave him a light kiss, pulling back briefly to admire the blush that Yuuri felt pour into his cheeks, then softly kissed him again. Yuuri's eyes drifted shut as he felt the warm, tender caress of Viktor's tongue against his own, then the kiss was broken gently. Viktor's lips briefly pressed against Yuuri's lower lip, then he leaned back, his eyes full of desire and longing, but sad.

Yuuri felt the same way. He didn't often want it so badly, but he wished that they could have sex right now. He craved the mental closeness and the physical intimacy, longed for the raw emotional release. That wordless connection with Viktor was a beautiful thing, a bond that ran impossibly deep, one that he treasured and adored. But one, they were in a public hospital room, and two, even if they weren't, he knew that he was far too sore for it.

"I hope I heal up quickly," he muttered grumpily, and Viktor's heart-shaped lips twisted into a wry smirk.

"You and me both."

Yuuri settled for kissing him again.

They made out for a while, unhurried and loving, bathed in the cool blue light from the window and the soft pitter-patter of rain on the glass panes. It was intimate and cozy; not exactly the sexual touches that they both craved, but it still soothed Yuuri's mind and body. It was a sort of silent conversation, reaffirming what had already been said.

_I'm scared._

_Don't be afraid. You're not alone, and I love you, so very much._

_I love you, too._

_I'm here, and I always will be_.

Eventually, the kisses wound down, neither of them wanting things to escalate too much. Yuuri would die of embarrassment if someone walked in on them grinding on each other like a couple of teenagers.

To distract himself from the warm arousal slowly ebbing away, he observed their position, lying chest to chest. "We won't be able to lie this close in a couple of months," he noted, resting his hand on the side of his belly; it was pressed up against Viktor's own abdomen.

Viktor's hand rested over his own. "Indeed, we won't." He grinned. "Has the baby moved this morning?"

"Not too much. A little restless before you woke up, but it's all quiet in there right now. Baby's probably asleep." The thought of their tiny baby curled up in his womb all comfy and snoozing away made him smile.

Viktor patted the side of his belly. "Not a morning person, I guess."

"Well, I mean, it's two p.m. It's not exactly morning."

"Maybe it is to them." They both laughed. Viktor's fingers carefully pressed into the tight skin. "Is that the baby, right there?"

"Probably. That's where I felt movement last."

Viktor looked absolutely fascinated. His fingers rubbed in a small, firm circle. "Is that an arm or a leg I feel?"

"Oh, I don't know," Yuuri felt around in the same place, "Maybe…a leg? I can't ever tell, it's so little…"

Viktor gave his belly another tiny pat with his fingertips. "It will be more obvious in a few weeks, once they're bigger."

"Mm."

As they lay quietly, Yuuri felt and heard his stomach growl, and it made his ears warm.

"Oh," Viktor laughed softly, "that reminds me. Do you think your stomach could handle some katsudon pirozhki?"

Yuuri heart lightened at the mention of food. "I think so." He hadn't felt like eating or drinking anything in the past several hours but a glass of orange juice and a few crackers during the night. Now that the epidural had worn off completely and he didn't feel sick from it anymore, food sounded very appealing.

"Yuri texted me earlier this morning. His grandfather heard about what happened, and he's sending you some pirozhki as a get well present today. He said he'll bring it when it's done."

"That sounds amazing…" Yuuri couldn't help it, his mouth watered. While Yuri's grandfather's pirozhki wasn't his mother's katsudon, it was still delicious. He couldn't wait to taste it again.

However, right now, he had a bit of a problem.

"Will you help me get to the bathroom? Baby's been using my bladder as a pillow for the past hour, and I don't think I can ignore it much longer." He squirmed uncomfortably, pushing the covers back and grabbing his glasses from the nightstand.

Viktor got up from the bed with a grunt, running his fingers through his sleep-tousled hair to push it out of his eye, and leaned down over Yuuri to scoop him into his arms.

Yuuri huffed a laugh. "Ah, well, this works, too." He reached over to take hold of the IV stand, to pull it alongside them.

"I'm a bit offended that your hospital gown covers your backside, honestly." Viktor's eyes twinkled with mischief, and Yuuri smacked his chest lightly.

"You see my backside enough."

"I can say with one hundred percent certainty that I can never see enough of your backside." Viktor winked.

Yuuri rolled his eyes, trying not to smile.

Once they were in the bathroom, Viktor let him down gently, but the second his feet touched the floor and his lower abdominal muscles tensed to help hold him up, a choked cry flew from his lips at the pain that exploded up between his legs and through his belly.

Viktor yelped in surprise, catching him as he stumbled and helping him lean against the sink. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Viktor's voice was muffled by the roar crashing in his ears like waves breaking the shore. Yuuri squeezed his eyes shut, clenching the sides of the sink behind him with a white-knuckled grip, halfway holding himself up.

"I'm going to get a nurse." Viktor moved to walk out of the bathroom, but Yuuri caught the back of his shirt in his hand, shaking his head.

"Viktor, no, it—" the strained words died on his lips, and he remembered his promise. His shoulders slumped, resigned. "Okay. But at least let me pee first…"

Once he had finished, Viktor picked him up again, and Yuuri slid his arms around his neck, breathing out heavily in relief and relaxing into Viktor's strong arms. He hadn't realized how strenuous standing would be.

Viktor gingerly laid him back in the bed and pushed the button on the wall, talking softly into the speaker in Russian.

Yuuri leaned back against the pillows, cringing and panting at the cramp that he felt pull inside of him. Was it normal for it to hurt this much after…?

A sudden warmth between his legs made his back tense up, ramrod straight. His heart pounded against his ribs, his eyes slowly widening.

He reached a hand down between his legs, feeling for the new opening that he knew was there.

When his fingers touched wetness, he wanted to throw up.

He lifted his shaking hand; his vision wavered as he stared at the redness on his fingers. _No, no, no, no—_

"Viktor—!" he choked out, half hysterically and probably a little too loud.

Abject horror seized Viktor's face for a couple of seconds, and he took Yuuri's wrist, turning it so he could see his fingers. His face relaxed a bit, and he let out a slow breath, holding a hand to his chest.

"I think you're just spotting because of the cerclage. It's bright red, not dark red. They told me this might happen." He reached for a tissue, going to the bathroom to wet it.

"And you didn't think it might be a good idea to _tell_ me?" Yuuri's voice cracked, incredulous and accusing. Viktor halted, then turned and gave Yuuri a wounded look.

"It wasn't intentional, I assure you." His tone was thin and just the tiniest bit chilly. It snapped Yuuri out of his anger, and his cheeks heated.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean…" A lump rose in his throat, and he swallowed against it. He barely noticed Viktor coming back and wiping the blood from his fingers, handing him another damp tissue for between his legs.

_Viktor loves our baby just as much as I do. I'm not helping his worry by being bitchy. He has feelings, too, stop being so quick to anger._

He dropped his hand slowly when Viktor balled up the tissue and tossed it in the trash can. "I'm sorry," he whispered again, closing his eyes, refusing to give in to the tears he could feel pricking behind his eyelids. God, he was so damn tired of crying. He reached between his legs and pressed the tissue against the entrance, biting the inside of his lip when it stung.

"It's okay." Viktor's voice was quiet and cautious. "You had every right to freak out. I almost did, too." He rested his hand on Yuuri's knee.

Yuuri wrapped the tissue in a clean one and dropped it in the trash, staring down at nothing with half-lidded eyes. He cracked his knuckles nervously and was about to speak again, but there was a knock at the door. Viktor called for them to come in, and a petite, pale-haired nurse slipped through the door, rolling a stand with various equipment on it behind her.

"How are you, Yuuri?" She asked, surprising him with English, though her accent was fairly heavy. Yuuri tilted his head confusedly, struck with a strange sense of déjà vu. The girl's face softened. "Do you remember me?"

"Maybe…"

"I was beside you while your cerclage was being stitched in, though you were barely conscious. I'm one of the only nurses in this ward that speaks English, so I was elected to keep you calm," she said with a smile.

An unsteady image came to mind of her leaning over him, the light from above whiting out the edges of her wheat blonde hair like a halo.

"Enough about me, tell me how you're doing." She sat down on the bed, clipping a tiny heart monitor to his finger and slipping a blood pressure cuff around his bicep. Viktor moved out of her way, sitting on the end of the bed.

"Well, I'm really sore and cramping, and a couple of minutes ago, I started bleeding." His heart jumped at the mere word.

"Bright red or dark?" She pumped up the cuff on his arm.

"Bright." He accepted the thermometer she held to his lips.

"That's probably from the stitching, dear. It is to be expected, along with some cramps and general discomfort. Do they just happen when you move?" Yuuri nodded wordlessly. "As long as the cramps are not at regular intervals and steadily increasing in intensity, they are normal after a cerclage. It will go away once you have healed up in a few days, but do tell me if you feel they are getting worse." The thermometer beeped, and she took it out. "98.8, much better. Blood pressure is 104/72, and heart rate is 81." She seemed pleased. She removed the monitors and set them aside.

"Now, to take a look in there." She pulled on a pair of blue latex gloves with a snap, and Yuuri's stomach sank. He had known in the back of his mind that they would have to do this eventually, and he had been dreading it.

Viktor noticed him tensing uncomfortably and scooted up the bed until he was beside Yuuri, on the opposite side from the nurse. He offered his hand, and Yuuri took it, grateful for the emotional support.

The nurse patted his knee sadly. "I'm sorry. I wish I could skip this part."

"You have to do it, it's okay." Yuuri was unable to keep his voice from shaking. He let his legs fall open, resting his heels fairly far apart. He breathed deeply, trying to slow his racing heart.

"Small amount of blood there," she noted as she lifted his hospital gown, carefully dabbing the blood away with a tissue, "but nice and bright, so we know it's normal." She took a long, thin plastic wand off of the stand beside her, rolling a latex cover with blue gel in the end down over it. "Now, I'm going to insert this into your birth canal. It will be uncomfortable, but it will only take a minute, just so I can see the stitching." She pulled some slack into the cord and liberally slicked the wand with lube. "I know it won't be easy, but try to relax as much as you can for me."

Yuuri gripped Viktor's hand tightly as she placed her free hand on his lower belly and slowly, very carefully worked the wand into him. It felt strange, but it didn't hurt quite as much as he'd thought it would until he felt the head of the wand touch what he assumed was the back of his birth canal.

Sharp pain flared up through his belly, and he sucked in a gasp through his teeth, clamping Viktor's hand in a vice grip and desperately trying to stay still.

The nurse made a soft, sympathetic sound. "Oh, I know it hurts, dear, I'm sorry…" his heart pounded in his ears as he felt the wand press and rub around, feeling like it left fire in its wake. He saw that the nurse was watching the screen intently, so he looked as well to give himself something to focus on; the stitching inside of him was clearly visible through the layers of muscle, a small, white zigzag of thin cording.

Another white-hot blast of pain stabbed upward, and he jerked his face into Viktor's chest, hissing and panting and clenching the fabric of his shirt in the other hand. Tears gathered in his eyes, and he squeezed them shut. It felt  _horrible._

"Almost done, promise," the nurse murmured. He felt Viktor's lips on top of his head and his arm around his shoulders

"You're doing great, Yuuri," he heard in his ear, low and encouraging. He nodded tightly.

"Okay, all done…just going to pull it out now, okay?" She slowly withdrew the wand from inside of him, and once he felt the head leave him, he went limp with relief, exhaling shakily. "I know, it feels awful," she sounded apologetic, patting his belly, "we won't have to do that again until tomorrow." She took the bloody cover off of the wand, and even though he knew now it was normal, the sight still made his chest tight with worry. "Everything looks perfect. The stitching is holding very firm. The inflammation has gone down a lot since last night, and there are no signs of infection at all. You are well on your way to healing." She dropped the cover in the bio hazard bag on the stand, then wiped the blood-tinged lube away from Yuuri's skin with a tissue.

"Thank God," he whispered softly.

"Now, the fun part. I need to do an ultrasound on your belly this time." She picked up a larger wand, and Yuuri brightened. He hadn't known he was going to get to see the baby today. "Pull your gown up for me, please." He obeyed, baring his ever-expanding stomach to the cool air, and she pulled the sheets up around his hips to give him a bit more modesty. "As always, this will be quite cold."

The feeling of the icy blue gel swirling just beneath his belly button was very familiar to him by now. The nurse spread it around on his lower abdomen with the head of the ultrasound wand, pressing into his skin and watching the monitor. "There we are," her voice grew soft, and a grin tugged at the corners of Yuuri's mouth, his heart skipping giddily.

The baby was so much bigger than last time. What had been short, stubby arms and legs had grown into proportionate, recognizable limbs. The little profile of the face was more pronounced, too. Even as the nurse rubbed around on his belly to get a different angle, he felt and saw the baby twitch, as if they knew they were being watched, and slowly stretch, extending teeny arms.

"Can you feel that?" Viktor murmured, his eyes glued to the screen and a look of wonder on his face. Yuuri reached to give his knee a loving squeeze.

"Mhm. It's tiny, but it's there."

"Wow…" Viktor held his fingertips to his lips, looking a bit misty-eyed.

"That's good." The nurse briefly smiled at him, moving the wand lower. "Should be increasingly active in these next few weeks. Let's see…6.09 inches long…weight, just over half of a pound. Measuring at approximately twenty weeks."

 _Halfway there._ A thrill of excitement fluttered in Yuuri's chest.

"Look at that," the nurse cooed, stilling the frame. The baby was digging one foot into the wall of Yuuri's uterus, creating a tiny, perfect footprint.

"Five little toes…" Viktor's voice was hushed as he slipped his fingers through Yuuri's, blinking back tears. Yuuri couldn't keep the tender smile off of his face at Viktor's awe. _He's going to be an amazing father…_

"Would you like to know the sex of your baby?" The nurse interrupted his thoughts.

Yuuri's eyes widened. "You can tell?"

She gave an amused smile. "Yes, I can."

"I…" he looked at Viktor, conflicted, and Viktor smiled easily.

"Whatever you want, Yuuri."

Yuuri was tempted, but he wanted to be surprised even more. "…let's keep it a surprise. Is that okay?"

"Of course," Viktor nodded.

The nurse moved the wand further up on his belly. "Okay, that's fine. Now we need the heartbeat…" she tapped a key on the keyboard.

Yuuri was almost startled by how much different the heartbeat sounded this time. What had been wobbly taps last time was now a much stronger thudding, no longer whooshy and soft, but steady and solid, a distinct, unmistakeable heartbeat.

Viktor let out another quiet "wow", giving Yuuri's hand a squeeze.

"Heart rate 159…very nice," the nurse wrote on her clipboard again. "Okay, everything looks very good. You've got a healthy little fighter in there."

Yuuri sighed in relief. It was so good to hear.

The nurse gave him a handful of tissues, and he wiped the gel from his belly and tugged his hospital gown back down over it. "Remember, if your discomfort gets worse, do not hesitate to call me. I can give you some…ah, how do you say it in English..." She looked at Viktor and said a long Russian word.

"Do you mean acetaminophen?" He didn't look too sure himself.

Her face lit up. "Yes, that, exactly. We can give pain reliever for the pain, and we are keeping you on antibiotics for a while to lessen the chance of infection. That's the clear tube in your arm." She pointed. "The other tube, the one with the blue stripe, is your hormone treatment. I can go ahead and give you the dosage for the next few hours now." She stood to her feet, turning a valve on the bottom of the IV bag hanging from the stand. "This will release a controlled amount every so often. It may make your stomach feel a little sick at first, but once your body adjusts to it, it will not bother you anymore. Once you go home, you will take the hormones orally in pill form once a week until you reach thirty-seven weeks." She stood back, gathering the monitor and equipment. "Do you have any questions?"

"Ah, no, I don't think so."

"I'll take my leave, then. My name is Olesya. If you need anything at all, just ask for me."

"…can you spell that, please?" Yuuri asked, abashed. The girl grinned, writing her name in English on a stray piece of paper and handing it to him.

"I forgot, you are Japanese, _da?"_ Yuuri nodded. "I have seen you skate. You tell a story with your dancing." Her violet eyes were full of admiration.

Yuuri's face flooded with color. "Th-thank you," he uttered quietly, adjusting his glasses and looking down. He could feel Viktor beside him practically vibrating with pride.

"Anyway, please, do not hesitate to call if you need me."

"Thank you," they said in unison, and she gave them a friendly smile as she left the room, pulling the door closed behind her.

"Didn't expect someone to recognize you here, did you?" Viktor looked entirely too gleeful.

Yuuri's face still felt hot. "Not at all." He scooted down farther on the bed, breathing through the pain he'd come to expect from moving by now; he could still feel the throbbing ache of his cervix where the head of the wand had rubbed against it.

Viktor's hand came up to smooth down his hair. "Tired?"

"Mhm…" Yuuri mumbled, pulling the blanket up to his shoulders and turning on his side to face Viktor, who was sitting back against the headboard. Viktor took his glasses off for him and set them on the nightstand. "I don't really want to sleep again, but I think I may have to…" he felt so drained just from that small amount of activity, but he supposed it was normal while he was still healing.

"Go ahead and rest. I'll wake you once Yura gets here."

His eyes drifted shut. "Okay…"

He felt a soft kiss on his temple, and he was out.

 

-

 

The deep sleep he'd fallen into was interrupted by the sound of a voice speaking heatedly in Russian outside the door.

He lifted his head off of his pillow, blinking and yawning and slipping his glasses on. He checked his phone; he'd slept for a little over an hour. He felt much more rested than he had.

The angry voice belonged to Viktor. He must have been talking on the phone, because no one was answering him. The rise and fall of his native tongue was both beautiful and slightly scary, with so much force behind it.

 _If only I understood Russian_. The fire in Viktor's tone was a bit worrying. He sounded pretty pissed.

Yuuri braced himself and turned onto his back, voicing a groan through the stab of pain, thankfully less breathtaking this time. He settled back against the pillows, resting both of his hands on his belly. "Your tou-san isn't happy with someone," he whispered down at it, rubbing his fingers into his sides. A surprisingly swift kick to his stomach made him flinch and voice a grunt from the back of his throat. That was much stronger than it had been being. He stared down at his belly amusedly. "Now what did I do to deserve that?" He tapped his side in playful reprimand, and tiny feet tapped back. _Already cheeky like your dad…_

Viktor's voice quieted back down, slipping into the overly bright, sarcastic lilt that Yuuri had heard him use with Yakov and Yuri numerous times. It would make sense if it was Yakov; Viktor had missed practice today.

Refusing to worry, Yuuri contented himself with holding his palms flush against the sides of his increasingly round stomach, trying to feel the baby kicks from outside. A couple of times, he almost though he did, but quickly realized that it would be hard to truly tell, since he was feeling it from the inside as well.

Oh, well. Maybe soon.

The door opened after a few minutes, and Viktor's face was the picture of annoyance until he saw that Yuuri was awake. It brightened his expression immediately.

"Ah, good, you're awake. Yuri just texted and said he'd be here soon. He's bringing some stuff from home, too, clothes, shampoo, things like that." Viktor crossed the room, plugging his phone into the charger resting on the bed.

"Okay." Yuuri linked his fingers together on his lower belly. "Was that Yakov?"

"Ah." Viktor turned his head to look at him, his one visible eye rueful. "You overheard that?"

Yuuri sniffed out a laugh. "It was kinda hard not to."

Viktor shook his head, sighing. "He's just having a fit because I missed practice. I got a big, long speech about how" Viktor held the back of his hand to his forehead, his voice high and mocking, "this could be one of your last seasons, Vitya, you can't be distracted by anything!" He rolled his eyes, muttering. "I'd say my future husband and child are pretty important distractions. No wonder Lilia divorced him..."

Yuuri was about to laugh again, but stopped short. Viktor's words echoed in his mind. "Future husband…" he repeated quietly.

Viktor gave him a puzzled look. "Yes…?" It sounded like a question. "We are engaged, Yuuri."

Yuuri's face warmed up. He felt like a silly schoolboy. "I know…it's just…I keep thinking I've dreamed all of this."

"Oh?" Viktor sat on the bed, his expression kind.

"Being engaged to you is still a little surreal. I, uh…" Yuuri averted his eyes, looking down at his hands, rubbing his knuckles. "I had…well, I was a huge fan of yours when I was younger. I admired your skating so much, and...I thought you were…really cute, and pretty. So, it's kind of like a dream come true?" He winced inwardly.  _That sounded creepy as hell…_

Viktor held a hand to his chest, looking moved. "You had a crush on me? Oh my goodness…" his eyes sparkled. "That is precious."

"Viktorrr…." Yuuri whined.

"Hey, I can find you cute if I want." Viktor leaned down and nuzzled their noses together, and Yuuri's heart fluttered like a butterfly. "For the record, I thought you were the cutest thing I'd ever laid eyes on when you were drunkenly grinding all over me in your boxer briefs and asking me to be your coach." The metaphorical butterfly flitting through his heart dropped out of the air.

"Oh, my God..." Yuuri covered his face. "You're impossible sometimes."

A soft, cooing laugh, then Viktor's hands were gently pulling his own away from his face. There was no malicious intent in the blue eyes. "I'm only teasing, love. If it makes you feel better, I pined my ass off for you all those months after, so to be perfectly honest, being engaged to you is surreal for me, too."

Yuuri blinked. "You did…?"

"I did, indeed. I couldn't get you out of my head. You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, and after the banquet, I had every intention of winning your affection." Viktor tipped Yuuri's chin up, and Yuuri felt like he was being physically held in place by his intense gaze. His irises smoldered like hot blue flames. "And so you can imagine my confusion when I did this," he trailed his hand down the length of Yuuri's arm, stopping at his hand and cradling his palm gently, a familiar gesture from months past, "that you jumped away from me like I had burned you."

Yuuri winced. "I still feel bad about that."

"It's okay." Viktor leaned down further. "Now I can do what I was about to do then."

He guided Yuuri into a kiss that felt like warm honey, soft and sensual, so full of love. Their tongues slipped against each other, drinking in the outpouring of affection from both sides. Yuuri's breath caught as Viktor tilted him further into the kiss, opening his mouth even more, and a quiet, guttural moan escaped Yuuri's throat, swallowed up by Viktor's skilled tongue. He tasted like…like love, and warmth, and home. _Wonderful_.

Yuuri breathed in deeply when they separated, his head light. That had made his toes tingle.

Viktor's thumb smoothed across his wet bottom lip, and he hummed, licking his kissed-red, heart-shaped lips, as if to savor Yuuri's taste. "That," he breathed, looking pleased with himself, "was what I had longed for, all those months after the banquet."

"If only I hadn't pulled away," Yuuri lamented, looking down dejectedly. Viktor's thumb caressed his cheekbone.

"No, Yuuri. You needed time, and I understood, after I thought about it. Waiting for you made our first kiss that much sweeter." Viktor dropped another kiss to his lips, then another to his forehead. "And all of the ones after, too. I love kissing you, you know. I treasure each one close to my heart." His eyes were impossibly tender as they roved over Yuuri's face. "I can't wait to marry you."

 _Aw_ … Yuuri melted into an affectionate smile, reaching up to touch Viktor's cheek. "I can't either," he murmured.

A pensive expression crossed Viktor's face. "You know…now that you mention it, I never asked in so many words, did I?"

Yuuri blinked, wracking his memory. "Uh…"

"Hmm…" Viktor's fingers danced along the skin of the back of Yuuri's hand, gently twisting the ring off. "I think I should remedy that."

Yuuri gave a trembling laugh and covered his mouth as Viktor slipped from the bed down onto one knee. He took Yuuri's right hand, gazing up into his eyes with such adoration that Yuuri wasn't able to suppress a soft sob.

"Katsuki Yuuri, you are the love of my life, my best friend, the mother of our precious baby, my _everything_. Every day that goes by, I find something else I love about you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, until…" tears glinted in his striking blue eyes, "until the very last moment."

Yuuri broke down into tears, smiling like an idiot.

Viktor's voice was softer than it had ever been as he slipped the gold ring back onto Yuuri's finger, brushing his fingers lightly over Yuuri's knuckles. "Yuuri, will you marry me?"

"Oh, get up here," he half-sobbed, yanking Viktor up beside him and crushing him in a hug. "You already know I will."

"I love you," Viktor's words were soft against his temple, "I love you so much…oh, _Yuuri_ …" he trailed off in whispered Russian, his tone tender, and Yuuri caught the words 'my love' and 'dearest'.

Yuuri sniffled into Viktor's neck, reaching up to comb his fingers through his hair. "I love you, too, sweetheart," he murmured, "I can't believe I get to marry you, I'm so lucky…"

Viktor pulled back and gave him a quick kiss to the lips, his blue eyes dancing. "I think I'm the lucky one," he said, wiping the tear tracks from Yuuri's face.

Yuuri rested his forehead against Viktor's, closing his eyes in contentment. "We'll just split the difference and say we're _both_ lucky."

Viktor's soft, breathy laugh tickled his lips.

"I'd say get a room, but it would be redundant at this point."

Yuuri looked over Viktor's shoulder to see Yuri standing in the doorway. He was dressed in loose sweatpants and a black tank top, and his hair was wrapped in a messy bun. He held a brown paper bag in one hand and rested the other on his chiseled hip, his backpack slung over one shoulder. If he was trying to look disgusted, he was failing rather miserably; his eyes held a muted affection.

"Yurio," Yuuri said with a friendly smile, "good to see you."

"Yeah," Yuri grunted, handing him the bag and setting the backpack down.

As the three of them indulged in the pirozhki (Christ, it was even more delicious than Yuuri remembered), Yuuri found that he was finally starting to feel like his old self again, despite the weird soreness still poking at his muscles every now and then; if he closed his eyes, he could almost imagine that they were back in Japan, sharing a meal together in the lobby of the onsen. The atmosphere of warmth and friendship wrapped around him and made him feel relaxed and protected.

"Did you feed Makkachin this morning?" Viktor asked Yuri, who nodded.

"Mhm." He swallowed his bite of pirozhki. "He didn't act too enthusiastic, though. I think he misses his real family."

"He probably does, poor thing," Yuuri said, licking his fingers and frowning, "he's been mostly alone for a while now."

"I'd say we could bring him here, but I seriously doubt they would allow that," Viktor said.

"Yeah, probably not." Yuri rose to his feet, and all of a sudden, Yuuri was struck by just how far up he had to look to meet his eyes.

"How tall are you now?" He asked incredulously, and Yuri gave him a rather strange look.

"I have no idea. Why?"

Viktor, who had apparently realized the same thing as Yuuri, stood to his feet next to Yuri. The height difference between them had been noticeably reduced.

"Whoa." Yuri blinked. "I didn't realize..." He looked back down at Yuuri. "Hey, stand up."

Viktor frowned. "Yuri, no, he's still sore."

Yuri winced apologetically, much to Yuuri's surprise. "Oh…yeah. Never mind."

"It's fine, it'll only be for a second." Yuuri braced himself and swung his legs to the edge of the bed, leaning on the railing to help himself stand. He managed to only cringe a tiny bit. "It's getting better the more I move, anyway."

Viktor looked entirely unconvinced, but didn't protest further.

Yuuri stood to his full height, which, last time he checked, was 5'8", ignoring the twinge of soreness in his back. To his surprise, Yuri was only about an inch shorter now, when previously, the top of his head had been at eye level.

"You've gotten quite a bit taller in the past few months," Yuuri noted, feeling a pang of nostalgia in his heart. Yuri wouldn't be a kid for much longer. He was quickly growing more wiry and lanky, gaining muscle in his arms and a more streamlined figure. He was losing the childlike roundness to his cheeks, as well; his face was slimming up, his cheekbones and jawline becoming more defined.

Yuri almost looked a bit embarrassed. "Guess I have." He tapped his knuckles against Yuuri's shoulder. "Gotta make up for you getting bigger around, I guess." He smirked.

Yuuri breathed a laugh, looking down and resting one hand on his rounded side. "You're right about that." He was pretty unmistakeably pregnant now. Because the baby was getting heavier, his center of gravity had been slowly changing in the last few weeks, and it was the strangest thing.

"When are you popping the kid out, anyway?"

Viktor spoke up. "The official due date is December nineteenth, that's what they told us last time."

Yuri whistled. "You'll be as big as a house for the Grand Prix Final."

"Oh, don't remind me," Yuuri groaned as he sat back down, leaning back on the heels of his hands and squaring his shoulders. "I already feel huge. I can't imagine how much more my back is going to hurt at that time."

"Aw, you're not that big, Yuuri," Viktor reassured.

Yuuri smiled up at him sweetly.

"Nah, you're already pretty big. How many are you carrying, two?"

"Yurioooo….."

 

-

 

Every day that went by, Yuuri improved a little more.

The second day, he was able to walk to the bathroom and take a shower on his own, though Viktor heard him hiss in pain a couple of times. He had to hold himself back from rushing in and helping, but he refused to break his promise; he knew that Yuuri would ask for help if he needed it. The doctor and nurse had both told them that he would be sore for quite a while. It was normal, and nothing to truly worry about.

Yuri visited every day, much to Viktor's surprise. He always brought some sort of snack for them to share, and he stayed for several hours. Neither Viktor nor Yuuri dared to bring it up in conversation, but the concern and consideration, while rather unlike Yuri, was very sweet.

The third day, Yuri brought a surprise.

When Viktor heard the knock on the door, he called for Yuri to come in, not looking up from his phone, distracted by an article he was reading. However, he lifted his gaze when he heard the familiar jingling of metal tags on a collar.

"Makka!" Yuuri cried joyfully, and the poodle smoothly yanked his leash from Yuri's hold and rushed to the bed, wriggling with happiness.

"I'm not even gonna bother to complain this time," Yuri deadpanned down at the dog.

Yuuri patted the mattess eagerly, and Makkachin almost jumped up, but seemed to hesitate, snuffling and woofing softly, looking over at Viktor beside Yuuri on the bed.

"Come on," he invited with a laugh, patting the bed as well, and Makkachin leapt up, excitedly burrowing up between them.

Yuuri wrapped his arms around the poodle's fluffy neck, giggling when Makkachin licked his cheeks. "I missed you, too! Aw, I bet you were so lonely." The dog whined happily, resting his head on Yuuri's chest and snuggling as close as he possibly could. His tail wagged madly against the bed.

Viktor looked on with amusement. "Whose dog is he again?"

"Evidently not yours," Yuri scoffed.

"How did you get him in here? Yuuri asked, scratching behind Makkachin's ears with both hands. The poodle closed his eyes, obviously enjoying the attention immensely.

"Believe it or not, they allow dogs in here. Like, for therapy. So it actually wasn't hard. I just had to check him at the front desk." Yuri plopped down in the chair next to the bed and propped his ankles on the railing.

Yuuri had looked happier than he had in days, and Viktor was grateful. It was hard to see his normally content fiancé fidgeting uncomfortably in the hospital bed, his brow furrowed in anxious boredom.

(Yuuri _hated_ hospitals, and he had said as much on more than one occasion. He'd apparently gone through a time when he was little when his health was fragile, and had spent a lot of time in hospitals. They had finally discovered he was anemic, and he had been released, but it had left him with a lasting dislike.)

On the fourth day, Phichit called, and not five seconds into the video chat, he had nearly had a heart attack.

"Are you in a _hospital??"_

"Um…" Yuuri's gaze darted to Viktor helplessly. "Yes?"

"Why? Are you okay?? Oh God, did something happen with the baby?!" Phichit's voice rose in panic.

It took a minute to calm him down. Yuuri felt bad for worrying him, but Viktor thought the concern was sweet. He was glad that Yuuri had a friend like Phichit.

The fifth day, Mila and Georgi came with Yuri.

Mila, of course, fawned over Yuuri, cooing and patting his belly and asking the standard questions. She and Yuuri chatted amicably for quite some time about babies; Mila had an older brother whose wife had recently given birth, so she had a few stories to share.

Georgi waxed philosophical about how romantic and beautiful their relationship and looming parenthood was, prompting Yuri to hurl a tissue box at the back of his head.

When they had first moved to St. Petersburg, Viktor hadn't known what to expect from his rinkmates when it came to Yuuri, since they didn't know him very well. They had surprised him by immediately taking Yuuri under their wings, helping him if he couldn't read some of the Russian signs at the rink, treating him like a new family member. Now, they absolutely loved him.

The sixth day, they got the best news of all: Yuuri was being released the next day.

Olesya dampened their excitement just a little, though unintentionally.

"You will feel back to normal in a few weeks, but you may want to be considerate of your soreness when it comes to sexual intercourse," she said as she wrote Yuuri's vital stats on her clipboard for the last time.

Yuuri turned beet red, of course. "So we should wait a while?"

"It is up to you, and how you feel. But yes, it is encouraged that you wait at least a couple of weeks."

Though they were a bit disappointed, they didn't care. The important thing was that the baby was out of danger.

The worst was finally over.

 

-

 

As silly and sentimental as it made him feel, Yuuri teared up when they stepped out of the taxi in front of their house.

 _Their_ house. He still couldn't get used to it. He hadn't realized he'd been so homesick for the living space, but it actually felt like another home now.

Viktor's hand rested at the small of his back. "Do you need help getting up the stairs?"

Yuuri shook his head, the cool August breeze ruffling the hair at the back of his neck. "I don't think so, no." He was tired of feeling like an invalid, and truthfully, he was in a lot less pain now.

However, once he was at the top of the stairs, Viktor stopped him.

"Wait, I want to do something."

Yuuri dropped his hand from the doorknob, giving Viktor a perplexed look as the keys were taken from his hand. Viktor reached around him, unlocked and opened the door, then pocketed the keys.

"What are you…" Yuuri trailed off as Viktor gently lifted him into a bridal-style hold. "Viktor…?"

"I never got to do this, did I?" Viktor gave a sheepish smile. "Even though we're not officially married yet." He crossed the threshold with Yuuri in his arms. When the meaning behind it hit Yuuri, he blushed and buried his face in Viktor's jacket, his heart light and full of love.

"You're so sweet," his voice was muffled by the fabric. He pulled back and looked into the blue eyes, muted and greyed in the dim, unlit living room. "I love you." He leaned up and planted a kiss on Viktor's strong jawline.

He was rewarded with a stunning smile and a lingering kiss to his temple.

"I love you, too, my Yuuri."

 

-

 

It took them a few days to fall back into their routines. Being away from home for so long had thrown them both off balance; though it had only been a week, it had felt like an eternity.

Now that it had been brought to his attention, Viktor realized just how much he had been agonizing over Yuuri's health. He hadn't had a clue, but now, when Yuuri expressed discomfort or tiredness, he caught himself in the act. Even though Yuuri hadn't completely meant what he had said at the hospital, Viktor imagined that his constant hovering probably _was_ a little annoying. So, he tried his best not to worry when Yuuri made soft, pained noises as he rose from the couch or stretched in their bed.

He'd just have to trust that Yuuri would let him know if something wasn't normal.

 

-

 

_21 weeks, 2 days_

  
Viktor hummed along with the melody of his free skate music in his ear as he scrubbed a plate with the rough sponge, the soapy water warm on his skin. The tune was so pretty. Since Yuuri was in the bedroom napping, he could hum it freely without clueing Yuuri in as to what song it was. The acoustic guitar plucked softly in his ear, and he swayed in place in time with the melody. Makkachin snoozed peacefully in his dog bed in the corner of the living room; he was quite obviously content with having his owners back home.

 _I need to remember to put carrots on the grocery list,_ Viktor mused inwardly. It was one of Yuuri's latest cravings: baby carrots dipped in ranch dressing. So far, his cravings had been for fairly normal foods, nothing like the ridiculous food combinations Viktor had imagined him concocting. Honestly, the strangest thing he'd done so far was dip plain potato chips in mint chocolate chip ice cream.

(Viktor had tried it. It was deliciously sweet and salty.)

He frowned, scrubbing vigorously at a spot on one of the sauce pans. Yuuri had wanted to help him with the dishes, but Viktor had gently ordered him to go take a nap. Yuuri had protested, of course, but Viktor had seen his eyelids drooping while they had been eating dinner.

 _"Oh, fine…but I'll do them tomorrow, okay?"_ Yuuri had said, trying to look stern, but with his hands on his hips and his baby bump rounding out the fabric of his hoodie, he just ended up looking impossibly adorable.

Viktor had just kissed his forehead and nodded, knowing full well that he'd probably do them for him again. Yuuri's feet were sore more often than not now; there was no reason for him to wash dishes when Viktor had a perfectly good pair of arms and legs, not to mention the distinct lack of a baby in his belly, weighing his front down and straining his back.

Maybe Viktor was spoiling him, but he didn't care. He wanted to help in any way he could.

Stinging pain zipped through his finger, startling him out of his thoughts. He hissed and yanked his hand out of the soapy water, glaring down at the paring knife that had been hidden underneath a bowl. He washed the soap off and held his finger to his lips, sucking on the shallow cut and furrowing his brow. _I should be more careful_.

A soft sound reached his ears through the music, and he took one earbud out, listening with a frown.

He heard it again, louder, and it stole his breath.

"Viktor…!" Yuuri's voice drifted from the bedroom, and the half-awake tremble in his voice sent cold fear lancing through Viktor's chest.

He nearly dropped the plate he was holding, hastily drying his soapy hands and ignoring the burning cut as he yanked the other earbud out. Makkachin raised his head off of his front paws with a snuffle, whining at Viktor's obvious distress.

Viktor sprinted into the bedroom, where he found Yuuri in the bed surrounded by blankets and pillows, though now he was sitting up against the pillows instead of napping, his hair tousled from sleep. His shirt was pulled up and he had one hand on the side of his protruding stomach, a seemingly worried crease marring his brow.

Yuuri looked up at him, beckoning to him, and Viktor rushed to the bed, taking his hand.

"What's wrong? Are you hurting? Is it the baby?" Viktor's throat constricted around his words.

"Oh, no, no, it's not that, the baby's fine," Yuuri said hastily, shaking his head and squeezing Viktor's hand. "Sorry, I-I didn't mean to scare you." He pressed his fingers into his belly, frowning in concentration. "I just wanted you to hurry."

Viktor closed his eyes, breathing slowly, trying to calm his frantic heartbeat and still his writhing stomach. "It's alright."

The baby was fine. Perfectly fine.

He supposed he couldn't be blamed for having a hair trigger at this point.

"Come here..." Yuuri tugged Viktor into a sitting position on the side of the bed. He pulled Viktor's hand to the spot on the side of his belly where his own hand had just been, pressing it against the sleep-warmed skin and covering it with his hand.

Viktor found himself holding his breath. The silence stretched for half a minute, the clock mutedly ticking away on the wall. Yuuri's shoulders eventually slumped and his hand fell away.

"N-never mind...I thought—" He gave a sudden, soft gasp, his face lighting up, and he covered Viktor's hand again.

Viktor felt the gentle nudge of a tiny limb against his palm from inside the stretched skin, and his heart skipped a beat, his breath catching in his throat.

"Can you feel that?" Yuuri whispered, grinning widely.

"My God," Viktor breathed, pressing a little more firmly to confirm what he was feeling. Sure enough, he felt more soft movement against his hand, a glancing touch, but unmistakable.

_I'm feeling my child move..._

He nodded slowly. "I-I can feel it," his voice wobbled.

"Finally," Yuuri squeezed his hand again, his reddish brown eyes sparkling with tearful, relieved excitement in the soft gold light from the lamp. "You can _finally_  feel it. I've wanted you to be able to for so long…"

Viktor covered his mouth, suddenly finding himself fighting back tears. "Yuuri…" he whispered hoarsely, the word muffled by his hand. A warm tear trickled down his cheek, and Yuuri wiped it away lovingly, his smile quivering.

"Now you're going to make me cry." He gave a shaky laugh, pulling Viktor close, and Viktor wrapped his arms around Yuuri, lying next to him and pressing his face into his shoulder. He felt Yuuri's warm hands rubbing his back, and he let out a stifled sob, his throat burning.

_Our baby is moving..._

"Are you okay?" Yuuri's gentle voice sounded in his ear, and he nodded into the shoulder, not trusting himself to speak. Slender fingers combed through Viktor's hair soothingly. "You can cry, you know. I know how you feel." Viktor heard a quiet sniffle, and it shattered his resistance like glass.

He broke down and wept softly into Yuuri's shoulder, overcome with emotion. He felt Yuuri's cheek rest on top of his head, his chest and shoulders shaking with silent tears.

He had felt his child move inside of Yuuri. They had touched his hand. Their  _baby_.

After so much sickness, so many long, uncomfortable days and nights, and far too many miscarriage scares, their baby was moving so strongly that he could _feel_ it now.

His heart ached, feeling like it could burst from happiness and relief. He had never felt such overflowing joy in his life.

_Thank you…thank you…._

When his tears were spent, he sniffled and scooted back, leaning down to drop a kiss to the tight skin above Yuuri's navel.

"How amazing," he said in a watery whisper, wiping his wet face, and Yuuri sniffled again and nodded, taking off his glasses and pulling the hem of his shirt up to wipe his own eyes.

Their baby was alive and moving.

Amazing didn't even begin to cover it.

When they had both composed themselves, Yuuri spoke softly.

"Hey…look up."

Viktor complied, and found himself looking up into Yuuri's phone screen; the front facing camera was on. "Since we haven't taken one in a while," Yuuri explained.

Viktor laughed, his heart light and free. "Now is a perfect occasion, I would say."

They posed, and the shutter gave a crunchy snap.

  
-

  
**v-nikiforov**

[ ](http://i.imgur.com/EyF3p5K)

For the very first time, we _both_ felt the baby move!! :'D @katsuki-y #ohmygoodness #sohappy #21weeks #victorybaby  
♡1,899,985 likes

  
**Raiarain** FHDJDHFJDHHF LOOK AT THEEEEM #victorybaby  
324 likes

 **JustASmalltownGirl** oh god I'm gonna cry, look at their eyes sparkling, they're both so happy ;_; #victorybaby  
130 likes

 **00Ophelia00** someone call me an ambulance cause my soul boutta ascend from my body #victorybaby  
109 likes

 **phichit-chu** You guys are gonna make me cry with this much adorableness, I swear…I'm so happy for you. :'))) #victorybaby #unclephichit #iloveyouguyssomuch #♡  
1,029 likes

 **katsuki-y** oh my god, i look awful, you didn't have to post it!  
2 likes

 **v-nikiforov** lmao no you don't, you're beautiful ( ˘ ³˘)  
     12,893 likes

 **katsuki-y** ( -⁄⁄⁄-⁄; )  
          8,356 likes

 **00Ophelia00** YOU ARE A FUCKINFN VISION YUURI HAVE MORE CONFIDENCE CHILD  
               1,890 likes

 **33jumpstreet** You wear pregnancy very well, dear! ♡  
                    1,002 likes

                    >>See 67 more replies

 **kaikio-10** THIS IS SO GOOD AND PURE #victorybaby  
89 likes

 **CfghTheAntLord** look how sweet ^_^ #victorybaby  
56 likes

 **megumin-best-girl** aw, i remember very well what those baby kicks feel like! congrats you two! #victorybaby  
187 likes

 **yuri-plisetsky** aw #victorybaby  
1,109 likes

 **QQdance** I have a feeling #victorybaby is about to trend again, lmao  
342 likes

 **Kisskiss23** SWEET JE S US THIS IS CUTE #victorybaby  
32 likes

 **zigazig-aah** my skin is clear my crops are flourishing my grades are restored this picture saved my entire life #victorybaby #blessed  
67 likes

 **motherfuckinjesseeisenberg** look at these soft precious bbys with their bby  <33 #victorybaby  
68 likes

 **sara-crisp** omg @mila-b, and we were /just/ talking about these two being adorable! Such a cute picture, guys! #victorybaby #bestcouple  
587 likes

      **mila-b** OMG, yes we were! You two are the cutest! #victorybaby  
     386 likes

 **MidnightCry** glad to see he's looking happy and healthy. best wishes for the baby, guys! #victorybaby  
218 likes

 **christophe-gc** oh my goodneeeessssss, look at that cute baby belly! You're glowing, hon! :) #victorybaby #loveyouboth #:*  
1,702 likes

 **Sk8rsquad** EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LOOK AT VIKTOR'S HAND ON HIS BELLY, I MELT #viktuuri #victorybaby #myshipissailing  
600 likes

 **karen-246** shame on them…so weird and unnatural

 **00Ophelia00** kinda like how your unwanted opinion is weird and unnatural??? fuck off karen your negativity ain't wanted here ♡♡♡ #noonelikesyou  
     1,893 likes

 **Kisskiss23** Excuse you? There's nothing unnatural about it, male omegan pregnancy is a rare, beautiful miracle. You're probably just unhappy because you're such an unthinking, hateful person. Have a nice day.  
          980 likes

          >> See 21 more replies

 **Nothisispatrick** such a cute couple, so happy for them #victorybaby  
238 likes

 **millionbillionzillionraisins** yuuris hair looks so cute grown out like that, aw. they are such relationship goals, I s2g #victorybaby  
321 likes

 **december-rain** these two give me so much life dfjsjfndj ♡♡♡♡ #victorybaby  
97 likes

 **33jumpstreet** WOW. Even pregnant, Yuuri is hands down one of the prettiest men I've ever seen in my life. You're a lucky man, Viktor! #victorybaby  
509 likes

 **5Jklo6** bless these two and their sweet baby  <33 #victorybaby  
126 likes

 **learning-to-breathe** cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute #victorybaby  
19 likes

 **+guanghongji+** daaww, that's so sweet #victorybaby  
456 likes

 **NotSoGrumpFan** reminds me of when i was pregnant with my little boy. those little kicks and flutters are hands down the most precious feeling in the world. glad you can feel it now ♡ #victorybaby  
324 likes

 **backinblue** it's kind of a shame that Katsuki isn't skating anymore…so much wasted talent ://  
1 like

 **my-face-is-my-warrant** can you go be a rude ass fuck somewhere else, jesus fucking christ. let them be happy. he already said he's only taking one season off, but regardless, it's none of your goddamn business. he's a human being and he's allowed to have a life. #whoaskedyou #victorybaby  
     2,679 likes

 **g-popo** such a beautiful relationship #victorybaby #younglove  
350 likes

 **yuri-plisetsky** try not to cry on your phone this time you melodramatic piece of shit, lol #jk  
     657 likes

 **panic-in-the-ballroom** wow! I looked half dead throughout my whole pregnancy, how is he still so gorgeous?? ♡_♡ #victorybaby #hesgotthatglow  
462 likes

 **StrawberryBlossom** I want this picture stamped on my gravestone when I die #victorybaby  
186 likes

 **Fedex-shipper-13** aww….so cute, mum and dad with their teeny baby #victorybaby #fuckthehaters  
103 likes

 **GracieJean319** God bless these sweet, precious parents-to-be, they deserve all the happiness in the world :') #victorybaby  
600 likes

 **TimeToDuel** okay i know this has probably already been said but omg. this baby is going to be absolutely beautiful?? i can't get over what a fucking gorgeous couple these two are. #victorybaby #theyrebothsopretty  
909 likes

 **cabin-fever-dream** yuuri with a baby bump is just the most precious thing ive ever seen holy shit #victorybaby #yesjesus  
256 likes

 **meepmeep-minami** !!!!!!!! YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO KILL ME ONE OF THESE DAYS, THE HUMAN HEART CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH CUTE #victorybaby #fukkensaved #imliving  
2,001 likes

 **leo-de-la-iglesia** aaaand #victorybaby is trending again lolol, someone called it. Great pic btw, guys, see you at Skate Canada!  
745 likes

 **pauseballs24** love this so much ♡ #victorybaby  
23 likes

>>See 289 more comments

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :')
> 
> I had such a blast writing that last scene. The first time one of my close friends let me feel her little girl kick inside her, I cried. It really is a beautiful experience.
> 
> I'll try my best not to wait an eternity to update this time! You've all been so lovely and patient, thank you so much for the continued support and encouragement!
> 
> Comments are loved like the first bite of mint chocolate chip ice cream. ♡


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay first off, I am SO SORRY it took me this long to update...school has been crazy, but it's nearly over now, thank goodness! ~~I got an A in the portfolio review I was so worried about I'm still screaming~~
> 
> Anyway, this chapter is long af, and I don't know whether or not to apologize for that, haha...ha... 
> 
> ...I'll try to keep them at reasonable lengths from now on ;;
> 
> Warnings: there's a lot of sex in this chapter, and it made me feel dirty to write.
> 
> Also, content warning for disturbing imagery near the end: proceed with caution. ~~I'm sorry~~
> 
> EDIT: Holy balls, 15,000 hits. O_O I can't thank you guys enough for reading this story and giving encouragement! You are the reason I do this! ♡

_24 weeks, 1 day_

  
At first, Yuuri hadn't believed Viktor when he had said that Yuuri created music with his skating simply through the movement of his body. He hadn't known Viktor well yet at the time, so he had thought that it was merely a bit of sweet flattery.

Now, watching Viktor do exactly that, he finally understood.

Yuuri followed Viktor across the ice with his gaze, staring with rapt attention at the way his body twisted and danced fluidly through the choreography of his step sequence. There was a wistful sort of longing to his dance, his movements steeped in achingly honest emotion. Yuuri didn't even have to imagine it; he could hear and feel the piano and orchestra of Until the Last Moment as if he were seated in the Acropolis in Athens, hearing it live. It was such a beautiful song.

Viktor effortlessly launched into a triple axel, landing with a sharp, crisp _clack_ that echoed across the rink. Even dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt, Viktor was gorgeous, his muscled arms and legs carrying him through the dance with poise and skill and his fringe catching the afternoon light as it drifted against his cheek. Every movement, every gesture, was near perfect. It was as if he were a graceful, ethereal wind spirit, weaving a sparkling, intricate spell of captivation with every shred of his blades. Yuuri could hardly wait to see him actually skate in costume.

The rink was fairly quiet, as it usually was on Mondays in the afternoon. Georgi and Mila were out on the ice with Viktor, as well as two or three more skaters that Yuuri didn't recognize. Yuri sat next to him on the bench, sipping from his water bottle and catching his breath. The back of his shirt was damp with sweat and his golden hair was beginning to fall out of the loose bun at the back of his head. A slightly bloody bandage was wrapped around the crook of his left elbow; he had been a little reckless with a quad salchow, falling and scraping up his elbow and scaring the rest of them half to death, so he was resting at Yakov's furious insistence. Yuuri's pulse was still jumpy from it.

The poor kid was frustrated. Since he'd gotten taller, his center of gravity was changing, throwing off his balance from how it normally functioned. He was attacking the imperfection viciously, re-learning how his body moved, and he had already made a lot of headway.

Yuuri could sympathize. His own balance wasn't exactly A+ lately, either.

It hadn't hurt quite as much as he thought it would, watching the others skate while he couldn't. It gave him a sort of comfort and hope, in fact, to see them practicing away, excitement for the upcoming season shining on their faces.

 _It won't be long, and I'll be out there with them again,_ he thought to himself, resting his hand on the gentle mound of his belly. The baby twitched against his hand, bringing a smile to his face. He was still getting used to the strange, weighty feeling of the movement shifting in his womb. It felt so foreign.

Coming out of the graceful step sequence, Viktor landed a stunningly flawless triple lutz/triple salchow combo, his intense, winter blue gaze sending a thrill of either awe or arousal (or both) skittering down through Yuuri's abdomen. How was it possible for a human to have such beautiful eyes? They were _so blue._

Yuri gave a grunt of disdain. "I've noticed him doing that even when you're not here, looking over to where you'd normally be sitting. Is that part of the program?"

"I think it is."

The teen curled his lip. "Ew."

Yuuri just laughed.

As Viktor's short program drew to a close, he came out of the final spins, an elegant one-handed Biellmann ( _Jesus, he's flexible,_ Yuuri thought with a blush), then a scratch spin with one hand over his head, then lifted his right hand toward Yuuri and held the other to his heaving chest, right over his heart. Adoration shone on his sweaty face, tugging Yuuri's own mouth into an answering smile. Though he had done it jokingly at first, Viktor had decided some weeks ago that he really did want to use Yuuri's finishing pose, as a callback to his 'Yuuri on Ice' routine, and, as Viktor had put it, "a way for the world to know my love for you and the baby."

As if they didn't already at this point.

(Yuuri had felt so honored.)

Yuuri beamed at Viktor as he skated to the barrier, blowing his pale bangs out of his eye with a puff of air and lifting his damp shirt away from his torso. "How was that?" He huffed out.

"Beautiful, as always. The second-to-last spin was perfect this time." Yuuri stood a bit awkwardly, still not used to his belly being heavier, and handed Viktor his towel and water bottle. He felt an inward squirm against his right side, as if the baby agreed with him.

"I've been wondering," Viktor panted, "if I should change that triple lutz at the end to a quad. It would be worth more." He tossed his bangs to the side and mopped his face with the towel.

Yuuri pursed his lips thoughtfully, touching his chin. "You could, but it's a little late in the program, keep in mind." Viktor didn't have quite as much stamina as he did, after all.

"You sure you won't be too tired for that, you old fart?" Yuri leered down his nose at him.

"Hardly, Yuratchka. Why don't you get out on the ice and practice? You could use it after that performance," Viktor volleyed back, his eyes twinkling as he drank from his water bottle.

Yuri narrowed his eyes. "Fuck you, I'm injured. Yakov made me take a break." He pointedly ignored Viktor's "language" reprimand. "Besides, someone had to check on Katsudon, he was making a weird face." Viktor's smile fell away, and he lowered the water bottle with a concerned look at Yuuri.

Yuuri barely held back an ungraceful giggle, instead giving Yuri an eye roll. "Of course I was making a weird face, Viktor's kid was tap-dancing on my organs." Since the baby had started moving in earnest a few weeks ago, it seemed like the little thing had hardly _stopped_ moving, seemingly delighted that its tiny presence could finally be made known to its mother. With how big the baby was starting to get, the movement was sometimes enough to take Yuuri's breath away, if it was strong enough and in the right spot.

"Well how the hell should I know? It looked like you were in pain. Just forget it, then," Yuri growled, jumping to his feet and moving to storm off, but Yuuri caught his uninjured elbow.

"Aw, Yurio, it's nice of you to worry about me, and I really do appreciate it, but you d— _aah_ ," Yuuri suddenly gasped. An abrupt, inward rolling movement from the baby against his stomach startled him and caused him to grunt and close his eyes.

"Yuuri?" Viktor asked in alarm.

He let go of Yuri and waved Viktor off, then held the other hand to the side of his belly, his face creasing as the baby twisted sharply inside him, digging little feet into his insides. Jeez, how could such a small baby be so damn strong? _Stop that, baby…_

The baby finally shifted off of his organs, apparently satisfied that it had caused him enough discomfort, and Yuuri let out a deep breath of relief, opening his eyes.

Yuri had turned back toward him and his angry expression had fallen away, leaving his green eyes startlingly vulnerable and flashing with worry. A pang of sadness poked Yuuri's heart at his concern.

He patted Yuri on the arm. "I'm fine, I promise. Baby's just kicking."

Yuri's brows knitted, unconvinced.

"Oh." Viktor perked up and reached over the barrier, slipping his cool, gloved hand underneath the hem of Yuuri's shirt and pressing his palm on the side of his round belly. After a moment, the baby wiggled again, stretching the skin on Yuuri's side, and Viktor's face lit up in a proud smile. "Kicking, they are. Pretty hard, too."

Yuuri let out a breathy chuckle, wincing when the baby pressed into his stomach again. "Hardly given me a break all day," he said, rubbing one hand on his upper belly. "It's like they're doing acrobatics in there." If nothing else, the kid was going to have some strong legs.

"…really?" Yuri's voice was hesitant, his eyebrows still drawn downward. 

"Let me see your hand." Yuuri wiggled his fingers. Yuri looked at his hand like it was a snake about to bite him.

"It's fascinating, go on," Viktor encouraged him gently.

Yuri looked off to the side, frowning deeply. "I just don't want to hurt you."

"I don't see how you could possibly do that. I'm not made of glass." Yuuri turned to face Yuri and took his hand, pulling it to rest against his t-shirt-covered bump. Yuri shifted awkwardly, his downward gaze darting back and forth, but when Yuuri felt another soft roll inside him, Yuri's eyes locked on his belly.

His eyes widened as his hand was nudged by the baby, either a knee or an elbow from what little Yuuri could tell. Yuri slowly lifted his other hand, framing the baby bump with both of them.

"It's really moving," he said in a disbelieving whisper. As if the baby was enjoying the attention, it rolled slowly between Yuri's hands, drawing a soft gasp of surprise from him.

"Mhm, moving down…" Yuuri rubbed his fingers into his lower belly, feeling a hard, blunt surface. "Here, I think I feel the head right here. Or maybe the back." Yuri moved his hand down as well, his lips parted silently in wonder as the baby shifted lazily, pressing against his palm again. Yuuri heard the quiet _krch_ of Viktor's phone camera shutter, unnoticed by Yuri, and he couldn't help but give a soft smile. "Baby's probably sleepy by now after all that activity, I'm not getting soccer kicked anymore."

"Oh," Yuri looked up and met Yuuri's eyes, his face surprisingly open, "does she move around like that all the time?"

Yuuri chuckled. "Mostly when I'm trying to sleep. And I get kicked in the bladder a lot at inconvenient times."

Yuri huffed out a laugh as well, gently patting Yuuri's belly. "She's already mischievous. What a surprise." The genuine smile on his face warmed Yuuri's heart. Yuri had a pretty smile that few got to see very often.

Viktor lowered his phone and quirked a brow, his lips lifted in a half-smile. "She?"

Yuri's cheeks pinkened and he averted his eyes. "Uh, sorry. It slipped out."

"You don't have to apologize. It could be either one, after all." Yuuri looked down at his belly, smoothing one hand down the bump. "A little girl would be adorable." He could just picture her; petite features, wide eyes, Viktor's silver hair…of course, it was just as easy to imagine a little boy, as well. His heart lifted with love and excitement.

"I'm pretty sure either one is going to be adorable, boy or girl regardless," Viktor pointed out with a cheeky wink, "we're both pretty attractive, after all." Yuuri snorted, giving him a light shove, and he laughed.

Yuri let out a disapproving noise. "You guys are gross," he grumbled with another disgusted curl of his lip, slipping his skate guards off and stepping onto the ice, "I hope I'm never that lovey-dovey." He skated away, moving and testing his elbow. Yakov bellowed at him to keep resting, and Yuri popped off something about Yakov needing to keep his blood pressure down, ignoring his order.

Yuuri and Viktor exchanged an amused glance, then Viktor leaned his elbows on the divider.

"How do you feel?"

"Great, actually." Yuuri smiled up into Viktor's handsome face, resting his hands on his forearms. "I haven't felt this good in a long time."

The healing process after his cerclage had been much slower than they had expected. Up until a couple of weeks ago, Yuuri couldn't do much walking at all before he would feel the annoying soreness begin to burn in between his legs, or feel the itchy sting of the stitches inside him. Not to mention the downright bewildering feeling of having an entirely new opening down there. It had definitely taken some getting used to.

Now that he was completely healed and adjusted to the changes, he felt fine. Hell, right now, his back barely even hurt. Aside from the baby currently taking a nap on his innards, he felt almost perfectly normal. It felt so good to finally feel good again; it took so much stress off of him, and Viktor as well. Yuuri knew how much he still worried, even if he didn't show it as often.

The fact that the baby was healthy and kicking up a storm helped, too. It eased both of their minds, even if Yuuri sometimes sacrificed some sleep for it. Just a few hours ago, he'd been woken from his sleep at around 4 a.m. by a sharp jab to his ribs, and the baby hadn't let him go back to sleep, kicking and prodding him insistently until he was forced to get up and walk around in the hope that it would calm the little one. It hadn't, of course.

However, he would gladly lose a bit of rest in exchange for periodic reassurance that their baby was alive. It kept him from getting too anxious. Besides, seeing Viktor's precious reactions to their child's increasingly strong movements was utterly priceless. The smile that would brighten his face every time could light up a dark room. Yuuri really needed to take video of it.

"Do you think you'll feel good enough to run by the design studio with me after practice? They called this morning and said that my costumes are ready for fitting." Viktor paused, seeming to rethink. "You don't have to if you're tired, of course. I can always go by myself, and you can head home and get some rest."

Yuuri's lips curled into a suggestive smirk. "If I did that, I would miss getting to see you try them on." As soon as the sentence left him, heat poured into his cheeks and he clapped a hand over his mouth, shocked at the brazen words that had flown from his lips without a second thought.

Viktor straightened slowly, a wolfish grin crossing his face. "Oh?" He purred out, leaning forward and tilting his head, his silver fringe falling softly over his eye. "You like seeing me in costume, _Yuu_ ri?" Yuuri gulped, feeling a twist of arousal in his gut at the way Viktor drew his name out, silky and deep, somehow making it sound utterly sinful. He caught a whiff of Viktor's heady pheromones, more potent than usual because of the physical exertion. He had to resist the urge to bury his face in Viktor's neck and inhale the woodsy scent deep into his lungs. He smelled so good.

When he didn't answer, a puff of air tickled Yuuri's lips as Viktor chuckled smugly. "It seems you do. Naughty."

Yuuri narrowed his eyes. _Oh, I'll show you naughty..._  With a quick check to make sure that the others were still on the other side of the rink, and ignoring the voice in his head telling him not to embarrass himself, he reached up to curl his fingers into Viktor's shirt collar. The teasing smile fell away from Viktor's face as Yuuri hauled him into a firm kiss, and he emitted a surprised, muffled sound against Yuuri's lips, reaching up to hold Yuuri's neck in his palms.

Feeling bold, Yuuri opened his mouth, kissing Viktor insistently, and Viktor moaned as his lips were prodded open by Yuuri's tongue. Yuuri tasted a hint of the coffee Viktor had drank earlier against his tongue, slightly bitter and sweet, mixed with the salt of clean sweat. Viktor nipped and mouthed back against his lips in a way that weakened Yuuri's knees and quickened his breath, the wet, eager press of tongue against tongue sending a shudder down his spine. He could feel his own pulse pounding against Viktor's palms.

When the heated kiss was broken, Viktor looked wary, his gaze darting around to make sure they were still alone. Yuuri didn't blame him, he hardly ever kissed him like that in public.

"Yuuri…?" He blinked questioningly.

Yuuri slowly tugged Viktor's collar down to expose the reddish-purple smudge left by his lips the night before, the sight of it stirring a fire inside him. "How about I give you a few more of these later?" He whispered against Viktor's ear, voice barely audible, tracing a heart around the hickey with the tip of his finger.

Viktor let out a soft, disbelieving sound, his blue eyes widening into saucers. "You little..." He trailed off, as if at a loss for words. His kissed-red lips parted as he licked them, his pale throat bobbing in a nervous swallow.

"Yes?" Yuuri lilted, lowering his eyelashes, turning on a little of the smoulder that his Eros routine made famous. A shaky breath left Viktor's chest, his eyes darting back and forth on Yuuri's face as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"Do you know how difficult it will be to skate with a hard on?" Viktor finally uttered under his breath.

Yuuri stifled a snicker. He pressed a chaste kiss to Viktor's smooth cheek. "Promise you'll give me some back, then." He lightened his tone.

Viktor breathed out a weak chuckle, shoulders slumping. "I'd like nothing more. Now, talk to me, act natural while I stand here for a minute." He leaned his elbows on the divider again, hanging his head. Yuuri suddenly noticed his measured breathing, the set of his jaw, the blotchy flush on his cheeks and neck. His slightly desperate expression.

_Oh._

"Wait." Yuuri stared at him. "I thought you were joking, did you actually get hard from that?" He whispered.

Viktor nodded, shamefaced. "Started to…" his voice was a faint, tight murmur.

Guilt needled at Yuuri's conscience. His gaze darted around nervously; no one was around to hear, thank goodness. They were still alone at one end of the rink.

He rubbed Viktor's shoulder apologetically. "I didn't mean to get you so worked up."

"It wasn't your fault," Viktor managed, his voice low, "It's just…it's been so long. I miss being able to make love to you." He sounded so downhearted that Yuuri felt tears sting behind his nose.

With pity swelling in his heart, Yuuri stroked Viktor's temple, brushing away the bit of perspiration that had beaded on his skin. He was obviously fighting it pretty hard. "Hate for you to get blue balls," he fretted, but Viktor shook his head.

"I don't think it was bad enough that I will. Just give me a minute." Viktor took another deep breath, letting it out slowly. Yuuri handed him his water bottle again, and he took a long gulp.

"But…anyway, yeah, I'll go with you. After this." Viktor didn't answer, and Yuuri's hands prickled with nervous sweat, a cold sensation tightening his throat. "I…I'm sorry." He shouldn't have teased Viktor in public, how insensitive was he? It had been over a month since their last chance for intimacy, of course Viktor would be easy to rile up. He hadn't been thinking…

"Yuuri, it's okay," Viktor insisted firmly, giving him a pat on the hand, obviously sensing his disquiet. "It's not a big deal. Don't worry about it, okay?"

Yuuri smiled reluctantly. He didn't seem mad, at least. "Okay." Viktor dropped a kiss on his cheek, then leaned to whisper in his ear.

"Besides, you can just make it up to me later."

Yuuri's heart flipped as he felt teeth graze his earlobe.

"In _public_ , Vitya, how risqué!" Georgi's teasing voice caused them to hastily break apart.  
  
"If I vomit, it will be all over both of you!" Yuri yelled from the middle of the rink, and Viktor gave him an icy glare over his shoulder.

"Will our child be that bad?" He wondered aloud, and Yuuri stifled a giggle.

"Probably not."

-

 **v-nikiforov** [ ](http://i.imgur.com/3CTlp7H)

♡889,796 likes

Yurio got to feel his niece or nephew kick!! Don't mind me, I'll just be over here dying of cuteness (੭ु ›ω‹ )੭ु⁾⁾♡  #victorybaby #sosweet #24weeks #weresoinlovealready

 

 **yuri-plisetsky** little shit's strong #victorybaby #apparentlyimanunclenow #imfinewithit #uncleyuri  
3,268 likes

 

 **StrawberryBlossom** THIS IS CUTE AF OH #victorybaby #help  
548 likes

 

 **CfghTheAntLord** christ, I need medics #victorybaby  
219 likes

 

 **phichit-chu**  aw, he got to feel it before me :'(( I'm so ready to see you guys again, I miss you!! #victorybaby #iwannafeeltoo #unclephichit  
3,375 likes

 

      **katsuki-y** we miss you too! T_T  
     6,132 likes

 

           **phichit-chu** ;_;  <3  
          2,070 likes

 

 **stand-and-watch-me-burn** awwww, how adorable #victorybaby  
90 likes

 

 **christophe-gc** that is too precious for words, yall gonna make me cry like a bitch #victorybaby #ibetthatkidhassomestronglegs #ripyuurismuscles  
1,798 likes

 

      **katsuki-y** you're right about that ^ ^;  
     998 likes

 

 **megumin-best-girl** this made me cry :') #victorybaby  
400 likes

 

 **TimeToDuel** I'm not crying, there's a tree branch in my eye #victorybaby  
642 likes

 

 **geezinadanghole** oh god my heart #victorybaby  
871 likes

 

>>See 1,007 more comments

 

-

As it turned out, yes, Yuuri _very_ much enjoyed watching Viktor try on his costumes.

He also enjoyed the soft, plush black couch in the design studio. The wooden bench at the rink had started to wear on his tailbone after a while.

The first costume was a gorgeous, flowy blouse, made of a deep maroon, iridescent silk chiffon, which was an airy, semi-translucent fabric. The front was decorated with a vertical stripe of silver beading and jewels, with the largest one being nearly exactly the same blue as Viktor's eyes, and the shoulders glittered with a sprinkling of tiny rhinestones. Long sleeves came to a loose gathering at the wrists, and the strips of fabric around the wrists were bedazzled with silver, as well. The black pants of the costume had an intricate, beaded swirl design dancing across the torso and down the right leg, the same maroon as the top.

Yuuri's eyes trailed up and down his fiancé as he turned this way and that in front of the mirror, conversing in enthusiastic Russian with the designer, who had also apparently been the one to conceptualize the Eros costume years ago. She was an older woman dressed in all black, with straight, black, chin-length hair, and round, thick, red glasses that made her deep-set eyes appear even more owlish.

Viktor's fingers played with the fabric of the sleeve, rubbing it gently. "It's so light," he commented in English for Yuuri's benefit, "I can barely even tell I'm wearing it." He swayed his arm back and forth, watching the wispy material catch the wind, and Yuuri smiled at the delight in his eyes.

"It's so pretty. This color is always wonderful on you." Yuuri reached up to touch the cool fabric, marveling at how thin it was. "It's going to look amazing under the stadium lights."

When Viktor translated Yuuri's words for her, the tiny woman held her hand to her heart and seemed very pleased. She rattled off something in Russian, and Viktor replied with a laugh as she scuttled out of the room, flapping her hands as she talked, her kitten heels clicking on the tile floor.

"She said thank you, she's very flattered. She's going to get the other one, and she says this next one is her favorite that she's worked on in a while." Viktor struggled to unzip the flimsy material at the back of his neck. "Ah, can you help me?"

"Oh," Yuuri stood, rubbing his back briefly, "sure." He unzipped the costume gingerly, so as not to rip it. It fell away with a delicate flutter, exposing Viktor's smooth, muscled back, and Viktor caught the shirt before it could fall.

"Thank you." Viktor slipped it back onto the hanger, arranging it carefully and hanging it back up on the rack. Yuuri stared at him, unable to look away. The way his shoulder blades moved beneath his skin was mesmerizing, pulled by the chiseled, powerful muscles of his back and arms.

Viktor turned his head and gave a questioning, smiling raise of his eyebrows over his shoulder, and Yuuri looked away, feeling heat seep into his cheeks and ears. Somehow, looking at Viktor when he was half-clothed felt even more forbidden than the multitude of other intimate things they had done, which made no sense at all.

"You can look, you know. I don't mind." Viktor's gentle voice drew Yuuri's eyes back up to his face. Fondness colored his expression.

Yuuri swallowed, glancing at the door, then back at Viktor's back. God, his skin was so clear and pretty.

A lovely pink blush rose on Viktor's one visible cheekbone, and his lashes lowered. "You can touch, too."

Yuuri reached out to trail his shaking fingers down the curve of Viktor's spine, feeling how soft and supple his skin was. He felt Viktor exhale a delicate shudder.

His mouth may or may not have watered.

"You never have to feel embarrassed around me," Viktor murmured, "or when you want to touch me." He turned around, and his voice dropped even lower, breathier, sweet and wistful. "I love it when you touch me. And I love touching you." His soft hand found Yuuri's cheek, the pad of his thumb smoothing over his cheekbone.

Yuuri bit his lip on a swear, fighting the heavy blush on his cheeks in vain. "Later." The promise was rough in his chest.

Barely restrained hunger snapped and sparked in Viktor's eyes, darkened by his widening pupils. The green flecks were overshadowed by the hot blue, sensual and enticing, threatening to devour Yuuri's own gaze. The intensity of it was almost scary.

They held eye contact for a few moments, then Yuuri forced himself to break it, sitting back down and letting out a long, slow breath. He pressed the cool back of his hand to his flaming cheek, cursing how weak his knees had gotten. _We're in public, I've got to stop being so shameless…_

"Yuuri." He lifted his gaze at Viktor's voice. The piercing look in the lovely blue eyes had fallen away, replaced with affection and longing, the gaze drifting over Yuuri like a soft caress. That endearing smile that Yuuri loved so much crinkled the corners of Viktor's eyes. "I love you," he said softly.

Yuuri relaxed into a smile. He never got tired of hearing it. "I love you, too." He reached for Viktor's hand, intertwining their fingers and tilting his chin up, and Viktor leaned down and pressed a long, sweet kiss to his lips. Slender fingers combed through the back of Yuuri's hair, the light scratch of nails on his scalp pleasant and soothing.

The baby, apparently awake now, chose that moment to twist against Yuuri's side, and he broke the kiss and huffed a sigh downward. "You're interrupting," he chided, patting the side of his round stomach. Though he was carrying fairly low so far, the distention wasn't solely in his lower belly anymore; his whole abdomen was beginning to swell into a prominent curve. It had grown outward enough now to partially rest on his lap when he sat down. He couldn't help but wonder how much bigger he was going to get. He already felt huge, but he knew the baby was far from done growing.

An excited smile lifted Viktor's lips. "Must not be a fan of public displays of affection, like their uncle Yurio," he cooed, rubbing his hand over Yuuri's side. The baby rolled into Viktor's palm, and his eyes softened. "What must that feel like for you, I wonder…"

Yuuri took as deep of a breath as he could, letting it out slowly and smiling down at his belly. "Very weird. Sometimes I can even see it pushing my skin up if I look closely."

Viktor's eyes widened comically. "Wow. It doesn't hurt?"

"Not really," Yuuri assured, "it's a little uncomfortable, and sometimes it takes me off guard, but it doesn't hurt. At least not yet. Yuuko told me it may eventually, once the baby is bigger."

They heard the heeled footsteps drawing near again, so Viktor gave Yuuri's stomach another soft pat and straightened, shaking his head in wonder.

"Amazing."

The second costume took Yuuri by surprise, needless to say.

He blinked rather stupidly as Viktor tested his movement in the tight fabric, rolling his shoulders back, stretching his arms, and turning around in front of the mirror.

The costume was reminiscent of the Eros costume, sharing a few of the same design elements, but with different colors. It was, in fact, very much a cross between the Eros and Agape costumes. The strappy top was a shimmery, pearlescent white, with stark black pants to go with it. It was bedazzled with black sequin details that shimmered when Viktor turned. Silver and red beading spilled along one of the straps and in between the mesh of the left shoulder. On the right, the fabric keyholed from the band of the neckline down around Viktor's shoulder, exposing his creamy skin to the air, and it was just enough exposure to make Yuuri's face burn again.

He was very glad that the designer (what was her name? Marya? Anya?) had excused herself briefly to take a phone call.

"Do you like it?" Viktor's shy voice brought Yuuri back down to earth. He seemed almost hesitant, as if he were waiting for approval.

Yuuri nodded slowly, feeling a lump rise in his throat. "Viktor," he murmured, "did you do this for me?"

Viktor looked strangely bashful. "Yes."

Yuuri had to struggle to keep his composure. Tears were welling in his eyes. _When will these stupid hormones stop jerking me around…?_

Viktor fidgeted with his ring, something he didn't do very often, twisting and rubbing it. Yuuri's breath caught in his chest at how beautiful he looked, the stained glass window behind him casting colored light around his form. "I asked her to keep your costume in mind while she was designing this one." The quiet timbre of his accented voice warmed Yuuri's insides.

"Viktor, that wasn't my costume, it was yours," Yuuri managed a laugh.

"No…" Viktor gazed down at him thoughtfully, his visible eye like a bottomless ocean. "Not anymore. It wasn't from the moment you put it on."

Yuuri's heart tightened in his chest.

He let out a shuddering breath, gazing up at Viktor. "I don't know whether to hug you and cry, or drag you into a closet somewhere and—" his mouth snapped shut, rebelling against the lecherous words.

There was a beat of silence in which Yuuri could hear his pulse pounding in his ears.

"And what?" Viktor's voice trembled, weak with anticipation.

_Suck you off._

Coward that he was, Yuuri couldn't bring himself to say something so lewd in public. He looked down, worrying the inside of his lip in between his teeth.

Viktor seemed to understand, leaning down to drop a quick kiss on his forehead. "I'm ready to get home," he said casually, breaking the tension, and Yuuri deflated in relief.

"Me, too."

Viktor had no idea how ready.

-

(rough designs of Viktor's costumes)

[ ](http://i.imgur.com/QAnlhmU)

-

All through dinner, Yuuri felt antsy.

Not necessarily in a bad way. Just in a hot, uncomfortable, frustrated, wanting-to-rip-your-fiancé's-clothes-off way. He resisted the urge to Google the words "can you die from sexual tension?"

Viktor had insisted on cooking, since he had "dragged Yuuri along for something so boring", and began pulling pots and pans out of the cabinets when they arrived home. He had tried to protest when Yuuri tied on an apron to help him, but Yuuri stood his ground.

_"I feel good, seriously. I want to help."_

Viktor had relented, but not without grinning and commenting on how short Yuuri's apron strings were in the back.

Yuuri had smacked him on the ass with a spatula, and the squawk he had emitted was very satisfying.

As they prepared the meal, they snuck a few touches here and there, hands trailing underneath hems and teasing the skin beneath waistbands. The contact had warmth humming through Yuuri's body like an electric current, winding him tighter with every graze of Viktor's fingers underneath his shirt.

The beef stroganoff and some sort of salad that Yuuri couldn't pronounce were delicious(even though Viktor had nearly burned the meat during a fervent kiss). He had known that Viktor could cook, but he hadn't known he could do it this well. It tasted just as good as any restaurant they had been to in St. Petersburg so far, and he had highly enjoyed helping Viktor prepare the meal. It felt so cozy and domestic, like they were already married.

Makkachin had thoroughly enjoyed the bit of beef that Viktor gave him along with his dog food, too.

At one point, while they were eating, he paused with his fork halfway to his mouth and bit back a grin when he felt Viktor's sock-covered toes trace the outside bone of his ankle. A quick glance up revealed the desire burning in the deep blue eyes.

Apparently Viktor was feeling a bit antsy, too.

When they were finished and setting their plates in the sink, Viktor's hand gently caught Yuuri's as he reached for the dish soap.

"Yuuri," he said quietly. His eyes were pleading. Begging.

Yuuri's heart did a painful somersault. Viktor was looking at him like a parched man at water in the desert.

The least they could do was try and see if he was still sore.

"The dishes can wait," he found himself whispering. He ran water in the plates to keep them from sticking, then threaded his fingers through Viktor's, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

The look of relief on Viktor's face pricked Yuuri's conscience again.

He led Viktor into their bedroom, shutting the door and locking it behind them to keep Makkachin from barging in. He looked up into Viktor's eyes, his stomach jumping at the naked lust in the blue pools. _So pretty._ He reached up to touch the smooth, heart-shaped lips, and they parted in response.

"However you want it," Yuuri murmured, echoing Viktor's words from a few months ago, one of the last times that Yuuri had actually felt good enough to have full-blown sex. He had missed it terribly this whole time.

Viktor looked at Yuuri like he had handed him the moon, and he didn't quite know what to do with it.

"How sore are you still?" He asked, a worried pucker on his brow.

"We'll find out."

Viktor leaned against the wall, running his hand through his hair, looking a bit weak-kneed. "I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't want this so badly. I feel like I—"

"No," Yuuri said firmly, startling Viktor into trailing off. "You're always telling me not to overthink, and now you're doing it.There's nothing wrong with the way you feel. It's perfectly natural." His voice faltered a bit. "A-and…I feel the same way," he admitted.

Viktor's expression was pained. "I just don't want to hurt you."

"Like I said, we'll find out. If it hurts, we'll stop." Yuuri reached out to lightly press on Viktor's chest, easing him onto the bed. "First, I'm going to do what I wanted to do earlier in the studio."

Viktor scooted up and leaned back against the pillows, a question in his eyes, but Yuuri just crawled up onto the bed with him, slipping up between Viktor's parted legs. He leaned up for a kiss, resting a hand on the hard muscles of Viktor's chest, and Viktor reciprocated gratefully, voicing a soft moan against Yuuri's mouth. The kiss was just rough enough that Yuuri could feel how much Viktor wanted him.

"I haven't done this for you in a while," Yuuri murmured in between kisses, "I hope I haven't forgotten how. Take off your shirt."

Viktor's chest rose in a slow inhale, his eyes wide. He sat up and pulled his shirt over his head, discarding it on the floor.

Giving him another brief kiss on the lips, Yuuri mouthed down Viktor's pale neck, trailing a line of licks and nips on the warm, silky smooth skin. He poured his love into every gesture, his kisses and touches soft and worshipful. Viktor didn't often let himself be spoiled like this; he was usually the one spoiling Yuuri, and that needed to change. He wanted Viktor to _feel_ how much he adored him.

He made sure to suck hard enough to ensure a few hickies, too.

Every little whimper and hitch of breath from Viktor gave him the courage he needed; it had been a very long time since he had done this. Too long.

He smoothed his hand down Viktor's muscled stomach, stopping at the waistband of his jeans, brushing the skin above it with his fingertips. He molded his palm over the firm bulge in the crotch of the denim, kneading in slow circles. Viktor rolled his hips up into the contact, humming in pleasure.

Yuuri didn't draw out and tease him like he normally would. He wasted no time getting Viktor's pants unbuttoned and unzipped, pulling his stiff cock out of the top of his dampened boxer briefs. He was already wet…

Yuuri gripped him, stroking steadily, and Viktor let out a liberated moan, his eyes slipping shut in relieved bliss. He was hot and swollen in Yuuri's hand, the head of his curved cock flushed a deep, rosy pink and weeping clear fluid. Even down here, Viktor was gorgeous and well-kept.

Yuuri started to shift backward on the bed.

"Wait," Viktor panted, "take your shirt off, too. It's not fair if we're not even."

With a sighing laugh, Yuuri stripped his own shirt off, doing his best to ignore his embarrassment at having his stomach exposed. Viktor's gaze trailed him up and down, his eyes alight with that same hunger. Yuuri's face flamed under the scrutiny, and he self-consciously rested a hand on his upper belly.

"You're staring," he scolded mildly, and Viktor ducked his head.

"I can't help it."

Yuuri shook his head and smiled, taking his glasses off and scooting backward on the bed. He grabbed a pillow to tuck under his lower belly to help support it, then leaned down, resting on his elbows.

Gently taking Viktor's cock in his fingers, he slipped the head into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the moistened tip, and the shuddering exhale that Viktor let out sent a shiver along Yuuri's arms. He tasted the musky, almost sweet saltiness of precum. He had never minded the flavor, it meant that he was making Viktor feel good.

He sucked softly, running his tongue all around the heavy shaft, beside the vein where he knew Viktor liked it. Not wanting to draw Viktor's painful arousal out too much, he quickly took him deep, feeling the tip hit the back of his throat. Thankfully, he had practiced training his gag reflex for a while, before he met Viktor.

(Yes, he had fantasized, don't judge him.)

Viktor swore roughly above him as he set a steady pace, bobbing his head and occasionally jerking Viktor with his hand to rest his jaw. It was a pleasant weight in his hand and mouth, thick and satisfying. He was so ready to feel it open him up.

The stream of groans and profanity above him fanned the fire of arousal beginning to flame up in his belly. The sinful noises Viktor could make never ceased to amaze him.

Viktor whined, thrusting shallowly into Yuuri's mouth, his arm thrown over his eyes. "Fuck, Yuuri," he wavered out, his thigh trembling unsteadily beneath Yuuri's hand, "I'm close, I'm sorry—"

Yuuri pulled off of him briefly. "Don't be sorry." He sucked firmly at the junction of Viktor's cock and crotch, grazing the soft skin with his teeth and tongue in a way that he knew drove Viktor crazy. "We have all day."

Viktor audibly gulped.

Yuuri swallowed him down again, unrelenting in his rhythm. The slide of Viktor's hot, spit-slicked cock between his lips and down his throat had him swelling between his own legs. He had forgotten how much he enjoyed doing this. Viktor's heavily aroused scent filled his nose and mouth, spicy and submissive, such a strange combination. It was incredibly sexy.

Not two minutes later, Viktor was tugging on Yuuri's hair, trying to be gentle and failing. "Yuuri, wait, you need t—I'm going to—" his voice was frantic, rasping with force of restraint.

Yuuri ignored him in favor of picking up his pace, hollowing his cheeks and taking Viktor as deep as possible with each rise and fall of his head.

"Yuuri—!" Viktor cried hoarsely, his toes curling, hands scrabbling at his sides in the sheets. With an abrupt tremor of his body and a strangled curse, Viktor came down Yuuri's throat, his thighs quaking and his eyes tightly shut.

Yuuri swallowed all that Viktor gave, voicing a muffled moan around his pulsing cock. He could feel each wave of orgasm as it hit Viktor, causing his cock to twitch and jump in Yuuri's mouth and pulling his back into an arch with each spasm. It was so erotic, feeling the physical evidence of just how much pleasure he had given Viktor. The feeling had his own cock straining against his underwear and pajama pants.

Once he had coaxed Viktor through the aftershocks, he relaxed his throat and pulled off carefully, stopping at the tip to lick the bead of semen off and suck a final, tiny kiss onto it.

Viktor went limp and sank back into the pillows with a soft, vulnerable sound, loosening his quivering fists from where they had been clutching the sheets. He spoke in a rushed, breathless voice. "I tried to warn you, I'm sorry, I—"

"I wanted to swallow it," Yuuri assured, licking his lips of the salty taste and swiping a line of saliva off of his chin with the tip of his finger. Viktor always got so bashful and apologetic when he came too quickly for his own liking. _Cute_.

Viktor looked down at him with dark, wet eyes, cheeks burning bright pink and his breathing shallow. _God_ , he was gorgeous right after he had come. Viktor shook his head slowly, letting his head fall back onto the pillow with a muted _poff_. "I don't know whether to be scandalized or turned on."

"Hopefully the latter, I'm not done with you yet." Yuuri thoroughly enjoyed Viktor's incredulous expression. "Have you decided what you want?"

Viktor stared at the ceiling, unblinking. "…I want to move to the shower. If it's okay." His gaze flickered down to Yuuri. "Just for a little while."

Yuuri raised his eyebrows, but didn't question. "Okay." He hadn't expected that.

Viktor rose from the bed, wobbling, and Yuuri reached out to steady him with a hand at his elbow. He wordlessly trailed after Viktor into the bathroom, following suit and stripping his pajama pants and underwear off as they went. Viktor's backside swayed as he walked, and Yuuri let himself peek. Figure skaters were notorious for having nice asses, and maybe Yuuri was biased, but he thought Viktor had an especially well-sculpted one. Powerful muscle with just the right amount of plush.

Yuuri stood on the mat outside the walk-in shower door while Viktor turned the water on, his hands cradled underneath his belly, feeling a little lost. He had no idea what Viktor was planning, and his gut was tingling with anticipation and unknown.

Viktor wordlessly held out his hand, and Yuuri took it, carefully stepping over the threshold into the stream of warm water. Viktor deposited him next to the hand rail, reaching for Yuuri's preferred body wash and pouring it into his hands, and Yuuri frowned in confusion.

"Shouldn't we wait until after…to…?" He trailed off as Viktor's soapy hands smoothed down his arms, around to his back.

"I want you to be clean for this," Viktor mumbled at the floor, bashful for some reason, and Yuuri decided to just trust him.

He was tenderly held as close to Viktor's chest as possible with his swollen belly pressed between them. He tucked his head underneath Viktor's chin, resting his cheek on the hard muscles of his pecs and trailing his fingers up and down Viktor's spine. Viktor's hands soaped him up all over, slicking across his skin, and the sensual touches soon had his cock lifting in interest again. Not for the last time, he felt so special and cared for that he almost felt guilty.

Viktor's fingers caressed his shoulder blades in small circles, rubbed down the small of his back, the bubbles from the soap mingling with the warm water streaming down both of their forms. He drew in a breath as Viktor gently squeezed one of his ass cheeks, then his soapy fingers slid between them, massaging Yuuri's moistening entrance, cleaning him with care and tenderness. The closeness of it made Yuuri's ears hot and his shoulders square.

"You're trembling," Viktor whispered in his ear, threading his other hand through the back of Yuuri's wet hair.

Yuuri shifted closer, ignoring the scratch of anxiety in the corners of his mind. "I'm fine."

Viktor's hand slipped around his cock, and he closed his eyes, letting the tension bleed from his shoulders as Viktor tugged on him gently, slicking him up and down. The shivers of sensation that resulted had him relaxing into the touch.

"Turn around," Viktor said, coaxing him with a hand. Yuuri obeyed, steadying himself with the hand rail, but he was surprised when Viktor dropped to his knees behind him.

What…?

His cheeks were pulled apart, and before he had time to react, there was warm, firm wetness pressing against his entrance.

A high, sharp yelp escaped his lips at the unfamiliar touch, and he was suddenly very grateful for the hand rail. He clung to it, shock welling in his chest.

" _Viktor_ , what are you—?"

A strong hand slid up and around his thigh, thumb brushing the soft skin of his crotch. He felt a kiss on the back of his thigh. "Preparing you."

_Oh, God._

"Wh…but…" he hated the way his stomach had bottomed out.

"If you want to stop, I will. I have no intentions of making you uncomfortable." Viktor made no move to keep going, waiting patiently, his hand rubbing a gentle path up and down Yuuri's thigh.

"I…I've just never…" Yuuri squeezed his eyes shut. The sheer intimacy of the act terrified him.

"I figured." Viktor leaned around to look up at him, his cheek squished against Yuuri's hip bone. "You have one hundred percent of the say here. If you want to stop, we'll stop right this minute and never speak of it again. But, if you do want it, I promise, I'll take such good care of you." His blue eyes were tinted mint green in the cool light from above, hooded by pale, water-speckled lashes. "I will make you feel the best that I possibly can, if you'll put that trust in me."

"I…" Yuuri averted his eyes momentarily. He had suddenly realized that while it scared him, it also _thrilled_ him. Just the thought of the obscene act, of Viktor's mouth on his most private area, filled him with hot-cold adrenaline.

He took a deep breath, rolled his shoulders back.

"Okay."

"Are you sure?"

Yuuri nodded. "I'm sure."

Viktor smiled, his features soft with admiration. He nuzzled his face into Yuuri's hip, reaching up to briefly rub his rounded side. "Just relax as much as you can, and let me knew if you want to stop."

Yuuri nodded, forcing himself to breathe deeply.

He splayed one hand on the cool marble wall, feeling Viktor part his cheeks again. He shifted and spread his feet a little further apart on the rubber bath mat, gripping the rail with his other hand again. The last thing he wanted to do was fall.

This time, since he was expecting it, he let the unfamiliar sensations invade him, overtake his fear. He focused on the feeling of Viktor's lips and tongue against the tight pucker of his skin, letting his eyes slip shut. The warm, velvety wetness was strange, bizarre even, but as Viktor laved his tongue over him gently, he slowly found himself canting his hips back toward the sultry feeling. The heat from Viktor's mouth had his breath shortening and his heartbeat thrumming faster.

He felt a faint prod at his entrance, then the ring of muscle was breached.

 _"Oh,"_ he breathed out, his eyes snapping wide and his knuckles blanching white on the shower rail. His stomach fell for a completely different reason as Viktor gripped his thighs, leaning forward and delving deeper. His eyelids fluttered shut and his head fell back, and a low moan rumbled from deep in his chest. The hot, silky press of Viktor's tongue inside him was unlike anything he'd ever felt before.

Viktor hummed against him, and the vibration from it dragged a groan from Yuuri's lips. Viktor's fingers delicately trailed underneath his balls, ghosting over the hypersensitive new entrance behind them, leaving sparks of sensation in their wake. One finger traced a path up the vein on the underside of his cock, smearing through the line of slippery precum trickling down.

Viktor was _good_ at this. He was a master at working Yuuri up gradually, drawing out his pleasure as slowly as possible without it becoming too much or turning painful, since he knew very well how much stamina Yuuri possessed. It was like Yuuri was an instrument, and Viktor was the musician, playing him expertly until he sang.

Viktor withdrew his tongue for a few seconds, only to effortlessly add two lubed fingers alongside it, and Yuuri _melted_ , moaning from the back of his throat. He couldn't even find it in himself to be embarrassed when he felt a hot trickle of slick down his inner thigh. The scorching intimacy still made his face and neck burn, but he didn't care anymore. It must have been the extra preparation he'd already received, but he felt incredibly loose and relaxed, much moreso than usual. It felt amazing.

When Viktor added another finger and rubbed firm circles into his prostate, Yuuri let out a breathy, shaking groan, tossing his head back and panting hard. He felt the familiar prickle of tears behind his eyes and nose, and his pelvis and crotch were turning cold and tingly, a sure sign that he was approaching the edge.

"Close," he gasped out, and he felt Viktor nod. He seemed to redouble his efforts, slipping his tongue out and solely focusing on using his fingers, since he had more dexterity that way. Yuuri whined and whimpered as his prostate was expertly massaged, the thread of climax pulling ever tighter inside him.

"Yuuri, you are amazing," Viktor sounded breathless himself, "So good for me, my naughty little tease. I can't wait to feel you pulsing around me."

"Please!" Yuuri begged.

"Come for me, don't hold back," Viktor commanded in his coach's voice, and Yuuri gasped out a sob, the familiar shudder overtaking him in a wave from his heels to the back of his neck. He came with a weak shout, the breath yanked out of him as his release spurted on the wall of the shower. His knees felt like they had turned to water.

Viktor caught him in his arms as he swayed, lowering them to the bath mat easily. He cradled Yuuri in his lap, kissing his sweaty temple and gently pumping his cock, helping him through it. He murmured words of praise in Yuuri's ear as he whimpered his way through orgasm, body jerking with each wave as the pleasure slowly began to wane.

Once he had mostly finished and was limp and loose, he felt Viktor's hand caress his cheek. "Okay?"

Yuuri batted at him weakly, his face still flaming, body still twitching. "You are _filthy_ ," he gasped out shakily. "I can't…believe..."

Viktor barked out a laugh. "You were clean, silly, otherwise I wouldn't have considered it." Yuuri cracked his eyes open to see Viktor gazing down at him hungrily. "You taste sweet, like nectar from a flower." His grin was decidedly indecent.

"Viktor, oh my God," Yuuri scolded, still catching his breath, his hand falling to his belly. Viktor just laughed again. Viktor was lucky that Yuuri had more stamina, or that would have had him down for the count. His bones felt like microwaved butter, but his head was rapidly clearing, less from afterglow and more from the insistent press of Viktor's rigid erection on the back of his thigh.

They were far from through. His stomach flip-flopped in anticipation.

Once they had hastily washed each other off and toweled their hair (and Yuuri had firmly insisted that Viktor _brush his teeth_ ), they barely made it to the bed before they were attacking each other again, mouthing against each other in starved, messy kisses, leaving love bites on each others necks and shoulders for the world to see. Yuuri tilted his head to the side and grated out a moan as he felt Viktor's teeth on his throat, reveling in the adrenaline rush it gave him.

Viktor backed him against the bed and Yuuri fell onto his back on the mattress beneath, looking up into Viktor's eyes and sliding his hands around to his back. "Last chance to decide what you want, before I decide for you," he teased. Viktor leaned down carefully, keeping his weight off of the baby bump, and kissed Yuuri long and slow, licking into his mouth in a way that had his spine shivering. Viktor's lips were always so soft…

When he pulled away, Viktor smiled. "I don't care. You decide."

A thrill of power writhed in Yuuri's belly, and a devilish grin tugged at his lips.

Despite being just over six months pregnant, he had kept in shape and was still fairly lithe and muscled, and he was pleased that he was able to execute his next actions with relative grace.

Bracing himself, he heaved himself up with a grunt, flipping Viktor onto his back and straddling him in one smooth motion.

Viktor's eyes grew large, and he sputtered and gasped as Yuuri rolled his hips forward, grinding their erections against each other. "Y-Yuuri, are you…you can't top, can you?"

Yuuri snorted. "God, no. Though I am keeping that promise, after I have the baby." Yuuri braced his hands on either side of Viktor's torso, dragging their cocks together in a slow, sensual grind, and the back of Viktor's head hit the pillow with a growl that caused a fresh seep of slick inside Yuuri. _Jesus_ , his voice…like liquid gold.

"Then, what are you...?" Viktor trailed off, panting, and Yuuri leaned back, looking into his eyes with what he hoped was intensity. He barreled through his next words with confidence, stamping down his anxiety.

"I've always wanted to ride you."

The flush on Viktor's cheeks grew brighter. He blinked up at Yuuri, lips parted in surprise, his blue irises nearly overshadowed by his widening pupils. A feral glint lit up his eyes that Yuuri didn't see very often.

"Yuuri, you…" he trailed off again, like he had earlier that day. He slowly shook his head, never breaking eye contact. "If…" he swallowed hard, trying to look stern, "if it hurts, you will stop immediately. Understood?"

Yuuri smirked, briefly squeezing Viktor's cock and earning a gasp. "You are in no position to give me orders, _coach_."

Viktor stared up at him, his mouth agape in astonishment. "What's gotten into you?"

That deflated Yuuri's confidence a bit, but he shoved it to the back of his mind. He straightened his back and rocked his hips forward again, letting Viktor feel how hard he still was, pulling another gasp from Viktor's pretty lips. "I just want you," he mumbled, feeling vulnerable, "so bad. I need you, Viktor."

A closed-mouth laugh escaped Viktor's nostrils, the set of his mouth rueful. He gently took Yuuri's hand and pressed a kiss to the inside of his wrist.

"Likewise," he replied quietly, resting his other hand on the bump of Yuuri's belly, "but there's a certain way to do this. You will be in control of the pace and the depth. You'll have to go slower than usual."

Yuuri set his jaw. "I know what my body can take." Feeling particularly immodest, he reached between his legs, ignoring the hot, nearly dizzying embarrassment.

Viktor's blue eyes widened in shock as Yuuri easily slipped three fingers into himself with a gasp, pumping them in and out and coating his digits in sweet-smelling slick, and then stroked Viktor's cock with the same hand, covering it with his natural lubricant.

"Who's the filthy one now?" Viktor asked weakly, but Yuuri could feel his cock give a pronounced twitch in his hand.

Yuuri rose up on his knees and took Viktor's cock by the base. He pressed the head against his wet, loosened entrance, licking his lips, his chest light with anticipation. He had waited so _long_ for this, and he refused to let anxiety ruin it.

He let himself sink down, closing his eyes and tensing a bit when he felt the penetration and subsequent stretch around the blunt tip. The slight burn had him panting, not from pain, but from wanting more. He felt so empty, and Viktor was the only one who could fill him.

He could tell that Viktor was struggling against the desire to thrust up into him. His lips were a thin, white line, and his eyes were tightly shut.

Yuuri carefully lifted up, then sank down more, gasping at the strain of his muscles around Viktor's cock.

"Careful," Viktor murmured softly.

He slowly rocked up and down, supporting himself with his hands on Viktor's chest, groaning as he was stretched more and more. No soreness so far…

By the time his backside touched Viktor's thighs, his heart was pounding in the pit of his throat. Viktor reached much deeper this way, and the head of his cock was already pressing flush against Yuuri's very alert prostate.

He felt _almost_ uncomfortably full.

"Is…is it okay? Does it hurt, are you…" Viktor's hands hovered over his thighs, as if he was afraid to touch him or break his concentration.

He shook his head. "I'm fine," he breathed with a probably unconvincing smile. He twisted his hips to the side, trying to shift and move his leg, and the air was forced from his chest in a startled grunt at the explosion of pain-tinged pleasure up his spine. He had never felt this sensitive before.

A worried crease marred Viktor's brow. He reached out to touch Yuuri's elbow. "Careful," he whispered again, breathing hard, already sweating. "Please, sweetheart, don't hurt yourself. Go slow."

Yuuri reluctantly nodded, hanging his head and closing his eyes. Viktor had been right, after all.

Out of nowhere, his arms trembled and his heart rate increased.

He suddenly felt very exposed.

This was somehow so much more intense than Viktor being on top of him. His face burned with the knowledge that he was seated on top of Viktor, naked as the day he was born, his belly swollen and unnattractive. There was nowhere to hide. He could feel Viktor's eyes on him, looking him up and down.

A cold, unpleasant shiver raised the fine hair on his arms.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

"Yuuri, look at me, please." Viktor's cool fingers touched his cheek, and he opened his eyes.

Soft blue eyes roved over his face, gazing up at him like he was the most beautiful creature in the world. Those gorgeous lips were curved into a sweet smile. The adoration in Viktor's expression washed over him, soothing him, warming him like gentle sunlight.

"You are radiant, Yuuri," Viktor's chest rumbled underneath Yuuri's palms as he spoke, smoothing his thumb across Yuuri's cheekbone. His other hand came up to rest against Yuuri's swollen stomach, rubbing in a slow circle. "This will never take away from that. You are just as beautiful as you've always been. Maybe even more so."

Yuuri exhaled a trembling breath, managing a smile that was probably very unsteady. "Doesn't feel like it," he admitted quietly.

"It's the truth." Viktor's gaze was firm, leaving no room for question. "I wouldn't lie to you."

Yuuri did his best to take the words to heart. He rested his hand over Viktor's on his belly, and Viktor turned his hand over and threaded their fingers together.

"Now." Viktor's eyelashes lowered in a sensual stare. "Make love to me."

Yuuri's spine tingled at the gentle command.

So he did.

It didn't take him long to find a rhythm. In no time, he was bobbing his hips up and down with his arms braced on Viktor's chest, the motion fluid and natural. He felt a little tighter than normal, but there was no sign of the soreness from the cerclage. Nevertheless, he kept the pace languid in caution. The slow drag of Viktor's cock in and out of him stole his breath, and _oh,_ did Viktor like it.

The desperation had fallen away from Viktor's expression, leaving pure pleasure evident in the breathy smile on his face and the open-mouthed moans he was crooning out. His eyes closed briefly every now and then as his body jolted and his brows pinched in bliss. The blush on his cheeks had spread down the sides of his face and to his ears, and his head was tilted back, exposing his strong, pale neck, littered with hickies that _Yuuri_ had given him. Only Yuuri could do that. Only Yuuri could make Viktor feel this good.

 _Mine_.

A surge of power and possessiveness rose in Yuuri's chest, and he allowed himself to revel in it for a moment.

Here was someone he had idolized when he was younger, that he had put up on an unreachable pedestal. Someone who had haunted his dreams, whose face had gazed down at him from the posters on his walls, inspiring him to skate, to be better.

Someone he never would have thought would be the love of his life, or the father of his unborn baby.

And yet, here he was. Viktor lay trembling beneath him, his soul bared, his cock spreading Yuuri open. Yuuri could see every raw, undisguised emotion that played across his flushed, sweaty face as it twisted in pleasure. The desperate clench of his jaw, the furrow of his brow in an almost pained expression, his lovely lips rosy with arousal and hanging open, calling Yuuri's name like a mantra. His muscled chest rose and fell rapidly, shining with sweat. The eye that wasn't covered by his sweaty bangs was hazy, dreamy, like a cloudless sky.

Yuuri fervently counted his blessings.

At some point, Viktor had shifted downward on the pillows, nearly flat on his back, and his heels were digging into the mattress, hands twisted in the fabric of the sheets. He gasped out something in Russian, almost tearful, and the sound of his native tongue on his lips made Yuuri's cock jump.

"English, Vitya," he teased breathlessly, wincing and grinning as a shudder of pleasure traveled up his spine from the friction inside him. _Still no pain, that's good…_ He angled his hips differently, searching for his prostate again, and his mouth fell open in a gravelly moan when he found it.

"You're so hot and tight," Viktor forced out, covering his eyes with one arm, "you feel amazing around me, oh, God, Yuuri, I can barely stand it…"

Yuuri lifted Viktor's hand, pressed a kiss to his warm palm. Viktor's blush crept down his neck and collarbone, darkening the marks on his skin even further. "I'm doing okay?"

Viktor let out a tight laugh in lieu of an answer and pulled Yuuri down into a bruising kiss, all teeth and tongues and searing heat. Yuuri tugged Viktor's lip in his teeth, tasting copper, and when they broke the kiss, he saw that Viktor's irises had flared bright, a thin ring of electric blue around a sea of black.

Yuuri picked up his pace, riding with determination and grace. Even with his stomach heavier than usual, it wasn't as difficult as he had expected it to be; somehow it almost felt natural, the rise and fall, the pulling burn in his thighs, the hot, thick friction against his walls with just the right amount of pressure and resistance. He briefly wondered why they had never tried this before.

Viktor's face was turned into the pillow, mouth open, eyes squeezed shut. He let out a deep, husky moan, chest heaving underneath Yuuri's hands. He was rolling his hips and thrusting up as much as he could to meet Yuuri as he came down, grasping one of Yuuri's ass cheeks in an iron grip. The added leverage drove him impossibly deeper, pressing hard against Yuuri's prostate, and if he would have been more coherent, Yuuri might've been embarrassed at the unrestrained moans that spilled from his lips. The pressure was unrelenting, nearly constant, pulling his muscles tight in preparation. 

"I'm not going to last much longer." Viktor's voice was strained, as if he was holding back, trying not to shout. He was hardly ever so vocal during sex, not when he was this close to orgasm. Perspiration trickled down his brow, and Yuuri wiped it away with his fingers.

"I'm not either," he confessed between breaths. He changed his rhythm slightly, pulling almost completely off of Viktor before pushing himself back down, sliding the cock in and out of him in long, purposeful strokes. Every hit to his prostate caused his thighs to tremble and white to frame his vision. The air in the room was thick with their pheromones; Yuuri could taste the intoxicating tang of Viktor's arousal on his tongue.

Viktor squirmed helplessly beneath him, practically holding his breath, too lost in pleasure to concentrate on thrusting. His hands gripped the pillow above his head so hard that they shook. The deep crease between his brows and the tears welling in his glassy eyes told Yuuri enough; he was right on the edge, desperately fighting to last as long as Yuuri.

So Yuuri reached down and took hold of himself, jerking his cock quickly as he rode to build his orgasm faster. The added sensation had him whimpering, almost overstimulated, but now, he, too, was so close that he could taste it, tingling from the base of his skull down to his tailbone and crotch.

Yuuri felt a heavy shudder beneath him, then Viktor's back arched off of the bed and he let out a tortured, sobbing cry that Yuuri had never heard him make before, and the feeling of Viktor's cock spasming rhythmically inside him was enough to nudge him over the edge.

A quivering groan left his lips as he forced Viktor's twitching cock as deep as it could possibly go, bracing himself with his hands on Viktor's thighs. His back bowed, his body shuddering violently as the dam of pressure burst inside him, sending a waterfall of pleasure pouring down his spine. He seized up and gasped out a breathy cry as his cock twitched, lifted, spattering Viktor's stomach and chest with sticky ribbons of cum, and his insides constricted tightly around Viktor over and over, milking him of every spurt of the hot, thick release that bloomed inside.

Gaining a little sense, Viktor gripped his hand around Yuuri's cock, stroking him through his climax.

 _"Ohhh…"_ Yuuri's head fell back, his lips melting into a breathless, open-mouthed smile and his eyes rolling back behind his fluttering lids.

It was the longest, most brilliant orgasm he had ever had. It hummed along every nerve of his body, taking him apart piece by piece, overwhelming him in the best way.

When his muscles finally began to relax and uncoil, he let out a weak sound and swayed, dazed and spent, head spinning. He felt more than saw Viktor sit up slightly, pulling Yuuri into as close of an embrace as was possible, his warm hand rubbing the small of Yuuri's sweat-slick back.

"I needed that." Yuuri felt Viktor's breath against his neck, accompanied by the gentle press of lips on his stuttering pulse point. Yuuri nodded, breathing hard and closing his eyes, feeling like he'd been put through the ringer. He felt so full and wet. "Was that as good for you as it was for me?" Viktor sounded as winded as Yuuri felt.

"Mmhmm," Yuuri hummed lowly, wrapping his heavy arms around Viktor and shifting sideways so his stomach wouldn't be so pressed between them. Thank God the baby had been quiet the whole time, that would have been distracting. "S'good…"

Viktor gave a cooing chuckle, patting his back. "Made you sleepy, huh?" Yuuri nodded lazily again, his head pleasantly fuzzy. "Rest for a while. I've got you." Yuuri felt a tender kiss on top of his head, and Viktor's fingers traced patterns on his shoulders. "You were so good for me, baby, so sexy. I love you so much…"

"Love you, too…"

They lay there for a while, still connected, drawing on each other's scents and emotions. The bond of intimacy between them that had been beginning to fray lately had been strengthened and fortified. Yuuri felt like his heart and soul were tied to Viktor's by an invisible cord, pulling them so close that he could almost feel Viktor's very emotions through his strong heartbeat.

Viktor let him stay as long as he needed, whispering praise and devotion into his clean, damp hair. His hands smoothed up and down Yuuri's back, massaging gently in the places that he knew usually hurt, between his shoulder blades and his lower back. The sweet, considerate touches had Yuuri utterly boneless.

He wished that he didn't have to get up, but he knew that they would have to clean up eventually. So after a few minutes, he raised his heavy head off of Viktor's chest, rubbing his eyes.

"I started to wonder if you had fallen asleep," Viktor said, helping him sit up.

"If only. I'm too sweaty and sticky to fall asleep yet." Viktor took his hand and helped him balance as he slowly pulled off, wrinkling his nose when he felt the softened cock slip out of him, but gasping at the sudden rush of thick fluid that came with it.

"Whoa!" Viktor scrambled for a handful of tissues, barely catching the small, widening puddle of slick and cum before it dribbled down the sides of his hips onto the bed. "What the…"

Yuuri leaned over and stared down as best he could with his belly in the way, mildly mortified. "Do you usually…come that much?" His voice cracked and his face warmed.

Viktor reached for more tissues, looking bewildered. "I don't think so?" It came out as a question. His cheekbones had turned pink with embarrassment.

Yuuri blinked. Perhaps it was because they had gone so long without having penetrative sex? Yuuri didn't think he usually produced so much slick, either.

He accepted the tissues Viktor handed him, fighting back a mischievous smile as he wiped himself down. "Are you trying to get me pregnant?" He asked sternly, the grin tugging on his lips.

Viktor snorted out a laugh, his eyes crinkling with mirth. "Whatever gave you that idea?" He teased back, giving Yuuri's protruding stomach a pat.

They both tossed the tissues in the garbage, dreading the rest of the cleanup, but once Yuuri was clean, sticky substance free, and comfortably leaned back against Viktor in the warm water of their large bathtub, he reconsidered.

His head rested on Viktor's shoulder, face turned toward the pale neck so he could breathe Viktor's comforting scent without moving. It always smelled slightly sweeter right after Viktor had orgasmed, and Yuuri loved it so much.

Viktor's hands framed his belly, rubbing the taut skin gently and feeling the baby's soft kicking. The tiny passenger had apparently had a nice, long nap; Yuuri hadn't felt movement in a couple of hours. _That probably means I'm going to get rudely awakened later,_ he thought with an affectionate inward eye roll.

"Remind me to text Yuuko your mailing address, she's going to send me her stretch mark lotion," Yuuri mumbled into Viktor's neck without opening his eyes. He felt Viktor nod.

"I already have a post-it note on the counter by the microwave. And isn't it _our_ mailing address by now?" Yuuri could hear the smile in Viktor's tone.

"Yours, mine, ours, sure. All of it." Yuuri shifted, breathing a long, contented sigh through his nose.

Viktor's chest vibrated with a chuckle. "Please don't fall asleep on me, you're heavy."

Yuuri gave a mock gasp. "Are you calling me fat?"

Viktor backpedaled hastily. "No, o-of course not! You have a lot of muscle mass, you know I wouldn't—"

"Viktor, I was joking."

"…oh."

Yuuri shook his head, smiling. He lifted his hand out of the water and looked downward, rubbing his palm in a slow circle on his mound of a belly, feeling how tight his skin was becoming. The baby wiggled and stretched near his almost nonexistent navel, and he lifted his head and drew in a surprised breath. "Viktor, look, hurry."

Viktor leaned around him, and a noise of wonder tickled Yuuri's ear. "Oh, wow." Viktor touched the raised knot on Yuuri's belly with his fingertip, tracing around it lightly. "You weren't kidding. Hi there…" his voice lowered to a soft coo. "We see you, sweet baby…"

"Mhm," Yuuri breathed out, moving his hands so Viktor could explore his stomach. "It's like there's a little alien in there."

"Our baby is not an alien," Viktor said indignantly, shielding Yuuri's belly with his hands as if to protect the baby from the words.

Yuuri laughed. "Don't tell me you've never seen Alien."

There was a beat of silence. "Um."

Yuuri patted the back of Viktor's hand. "We'll watch it sometime."

"A movie?"

"Yep. It's pretty scary."

"Huh…" Yuuri could hear the apprehension in Viktor's voice. He hated horror movies. The Grudge had really gotten to him when they had watched it back in Hasetsu months ago. Yuri had never let him live it down.

As they washed up and got out, weariness started to weigh on Yuuri's limbs. Aside from the walks they took every day with Makkachin, he hadn't done any strenuous activity lately, only light exercise to keep in shape. He was going to be feeling it in the muscles of his thighs in the morning...

He sleepily pulled his boxer briefs up and accepted the t-shirt Viktor handed to him, by some miracle managing to get his head and arms into the right holes. He made a bleary mental note to buy some looser sleep shirts; this one, one of his favorite navy blue tees, was beginning to strain to fit over the bulge of his abdomen.

He barely even remembered brushing his teeth. Viktor must have noticed how tired he was, because he slipped an arm around him to help him to the bed.

He groaned in relief when his head hit the pillow. He felt a kiss on his forehead, then a peck on his lips.

"Good night, my sleepy beauty."

"G'night," he slurred, turning on his side. He felt Viktor gently wedge an extra pillow underneath the side of his stomach, then snuggle up to his back and drape an arm over the side of his torso. His gentle hand rested over Yuuri's on his belly.

The heavy blanket of sleep soon covered him.

-

_Running…running up a staircase. It's so long and steep; the skate guards on his feet hinder his movement. Why is he wearing them now?_

_He reaches the top and opens the heavy, iron door. A vast field opens up before him, beautiful and green, with a single tree in the middle. It's the biggest tree he's ever seen, its large, powerful roots clinging to the earth beneath._

_He approaches it, but suddenly the ground cracks and breaks beneath his feet, making his footing unsteady._

_He hears a familiar voice. Viktor…?_

_A flash of white in the treetops, and he's abruptly somewhere else._

_Lying in a bed in a dark room. Dull aching in his belly, back, and thighs. A sick dread tightening the back of his throat for unknown reasons. He confusedly lays a hand on his stomach, which is alarmingly large, full term and stretched to capacity._

_He throws his head back into the pillow and screams when a tearing sensation assaults him; it feels like his intestines have been ripped out. When he opens his eyes through the blinding pain, a shadowy, indistinct entity stands at the end of his bed, holding a round, fleshy mass in one of its hands._

_His uterus, still connected to his flayed-open insides by thick strands of bloody muscle._

_He gags, tries to scream again, but his voice is gone. He can only watch and suffer as life-giving blood gushes from his body, seeping into the sheets below._

_The ambiguous creature keeps pulling, and the slow, snapping breakage of tissue and flesh is_ agonizing. _He tries so hard to get away, but his limbs are moving so slowly that he wants to sob in frustration._

_He's struck with the intense need to push, and it confuses and scares him. His uterus is outside of his body, why should he push?_

_The sudden realization that the baby is probably dead strikes him in the chest, and it makes his body shake so violently he thinks he's seizing. A cord wraps around his neck. It feels like there's tar in his lungs._

_The thing says something he doesn't understand. Pitch black suddenly pressed down on him, so hard that he can't breathe._

_**I couldn't…save…** _

_**I killed our baby—!** _

_**Oh, God, I—I—!** _

_Silence engulfs him, only broken by the doleful, accusing sound of a fetal heartbeat stuttering and dying._

-

Viktor started awake out of a dead sleep, his heart racing, breathing rapid. His eyes darted around in the dark bedroom, searching for what had woken him. Nothing but quiet reached his ears, save for the pounding of his heart.

The tension slowly left him, and he relaxed, turning his head on the pillow and rubbing hard to scrub the sleep from his eyes. _I was probably just dreaming_. He didn't remember anything particularly alarming in his dream, but his heart was still pounding out a fearful beat in his chest. His body was reacting strangely to seemingly nothing. 

Perhaps he was just exhausted. He sometimes had trouble sleeping if he was too tired, oddly enough.

_Maybe if I get some water…_

He rolled onto his back, stretching quietly, feeling his back pop. The light from the window was solely from streetlights; it was still the middle of the night. 1:26, the clock informed him once his eyes had adjusted to the darkness enough.

He yawned, mentally preparing himself to get out of bed and pad to the kitchen to pour a glass of water. His eyes found Yuuri's sleeping form of their own accord, and he froze, eyes widening.

Yuuri was lying on his back, something he almost never did anymore, not even in deep sleep, because of the strain it put on his back. That fact alone was enough to unnerve Viktor, but Yuuri's eyes were also moving rapidly beneath his closed eyelids, and there was a worried wrinkle on his forehead. He was dreaming.

The furrow between his dark brows deepened and he twitched abruptly, the fingers resting on his chest curling into the fabric of his shirt. His lips parted and his brow relaxed, but a quiet, choked grunt left him, bottom lip quivering. Droplets of sweat glittered on his forehead in the dim light from the window, sticking his bangs to his skin.

Viktor closed his eyes, resigned sympathy swelling in his heart.

He raised up on one elbow, reaching out to touch Yuuri's shoulder, but he was startled by Yuuri moaning out a long, low, pitiful cry in his sleep, his face creasing with sorrow. His damp chest and belly rose and fell rapidly, one of his hands clumsily reaching down to fumble at the rounded mound beneath the covers. Viktor's heart nearly broke in his chest at the tiny, pleading "no" that left Yuuri's parted lips.

"Yuuri," Viktor whispered, touching his shoulder.

He started and squirmed, but didn't wake. Another whimper, louder this time. A tear rolled down his temple.

Heart in his throat, Viktor leaned over Yuuri, taking hold of his shoulders and gently shaking them. "Yuuri, wake up," he muttered, voice wavering. The fear marring Yuuri's features was heartwrenching.

Yuuri tossed his head to the side, panting shallowly, and another tear trickled down his ashen face, his eyebrows raised in horror. His lips moved in a silent plea.

"Yuuri," Viktor tried again, louder. He touched Yuuri's pale cheek.

The brown eyes flew open, hazy and unfocused and dilated in abject terror. He sat up, swaying, his eyes darting around as if looking for some unknown foe.

"Yuuri, babe, you're awake, it's okay," Viktor soothed, gently cradling Yuuri's face in his hands.

Yuuri's eyes came into focus on Viktor's face, and a quiet sob shook his shoulders. "Viktor," he breathed out shakily.

"Oh, love, I'm here…" Viktor wrapped his arms around him, holding his head to his chest and rocking him gently, and Yuuri reached up to fist his hand in the fabric of Viktor's shirt, his fingers shaking.

"Oh, God… _Viktor_ …"

"Shhh," Viktor whispered as Yuuri broke down and cried softly, body trembling with his feeble tears. Viktor kissed Yuuri's sweaty forehead, smoothing his hand down the back of his hair. "You're okay now, it was just a dream." Yuuri quietly panted through his tears, his other hand plastered to his round belly. He kept digging his fingers into it as if to remind himself it was still there.

A little jolt of fear shot through Viktor's chest. "Are you in pain?" He asked quickly, and Yuuri covered his eyes, coughing out a tearful breath.

"…no, but…" The words trembled in the air between them. Yuuri swallowed, the hand covering his eyes shaking like a leaf. His breathing sped up further and he made a weak, distressed noise. "H-help me to the bathroom, hurry."

Viktor hastily got up and helped Yuuri do the same, then helped him stumble for the door. When they reached the bathroom, Yuuri fell to his knees in front of the toilet, frantically scrambled to raise the lid, and threw up into the porcelain bowl. Viktor cringed at the sound of it, reaching out to keep the toilet lid from falling back down.

"Oh, sweetheart…" Viktor knelt down and gently rubbed Yuuri's sweat-soaked back. "It's okay, you're okay now…" Yuuri's back expanded and contracted with his too-fast, panicked breaths, and Viktor closed his eyes in another wince as he retched harshly again.

A sudden, strangled scream of fear tore from Yuuri's throat that made Viktor's heart fall into his toes.

"I can't breathe—!" Yuuri wailed hoarsely, gripping the edges of the toilet bowl with white fingers, hysterical sobs spilling from his lips, and Viktor bit his lip, feeling a bit panicky himself.

"Yes, you can, Yuuri, just…just take deep breaths, or try to. You're okay. You'll be okay, I promise." The words sounded frail and pandering to his own ears. He felt like he'd been pushed off of a cliff and was floundering in thin air, completely out of his element.

Yuuri frantically shook his head, his sobs beginning to be replaced with genuine gasps for air. "I-I _can't_ —" he coughed and gagged roughly, struggling to breathe, his hand clutched to his chest.

 _Oh, God, help us…_ Viktor loosely wrapped his arms around Yuuri's torso, fighting not to give in to his own fear. It had never been this bad before. "Yuuri, you have to calm down, you're hyperventilating. Just focus on your breathing, in and out."

He felt Yuuri grab his hand, resisting the urge to pull away at the shooting pain in his bones from the strong grip. He pressed his chest against Yuuri's back and breathed loud enough for Yuuri to hear, in a slow, easy-to-follow pattern.

It was a long few seconds before he felt Yuuri begin to breathe along with him.

"There you go, you're doing well. Just listen to my breathing, honey. You're going to be okay. You're so strong, and I'm so proud of you." The encouragement spilled out, soft and soothing, as comforting as Viktor could make it. He reached around and rubbed light, gentle circles into Yuuri's protruding stomach, and the restless, almost frantic press of the baby against his hand surprised him. He wondered if the baby could somehow sense how distressed its mother was.

Gradually, Yuuri's breathing slowed. The muscles of his body unwound. His shoulders slumped, most likely in shame, as he tore off a length of toilet paper and wiped his mouth.

Viktor felt his shoulders hunch, and knew that he was crying again.

Yuuri turned around, and Viktor's heart cramped at how white his tearstained face and lips were. Yuuri sniffled and crawled into his lap, and Viktor wrapped his arms around him, nestling his nose in Yuuri's hair.

"I've got you," he whispered. Yuuri's weeping brought tears to his own eyes. He sounded _heartbroken_. Like someone had died.

He let him cry as long as he needed to. Now that he wasn't struggling to breathe, crying wouldn't hurt him, and he needed to let it out and not bottle it up. He clung to Viktor like a limpet, never loosening his hold for a second, and for a while, the only sounds in the room were quiet, jerky sobs and Viktor's whispering.

Predictably, after a few minutes of crying, Viktor felt more than heard a low, ashamed "I'm sorry" against his chest. He reached up to wipe Yuuri's wet cheek, resting his own cheek on top of the inky locks.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he murmured. Yuuri didn't argue with him, but he felt the disagreement radiate off of him as clear as day. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He felt Yuuri hesitate, then shake his head.

Viktor pursed his lips, but didn't press him.

After waiting for a few minutes, he moved to get up, and Yuuri emitted a whimper, tightening his hold. "Yuuri, you need to rinse your mouth and drink some water, you don't need to get dehydrated," Viktor said, keeping his voice quiet and unthreatening, "it's bad for the baby if you do."

That got him up. He went through the motions of rinsing his mouth and brushing his teeth, but he was jumpy, and Viktor could see the tension in his lips, the haunted look in his eyes.

Whatever he had dreamed had shaken him pretty badly.

Viktor's chest tightened.

 _I wish you would talk to me_.

Viktor managed to get him back in the bed, handing him a cup of water, and he took it with quivering fingers, not meeting Viktor's worried gaze as he drank.

Viktor did his best to stamp down the frustration, but it felt like every bit of headway he made in helping Yuuri cope with his anxiety didn't last very long. Like he was constantly taking one step forward, then two steps back.

Deep down, he knew Yuuri couldn't help it, but it still didn't make him feel much better. He wanted to help so badly.

"Do you want to try to go back to sleep?" He asked, taking the empty cup and reaching to hold Yuuri's trembling hand.

Yuuri looked more like he wanted to try and bolt from the room, but he nodded stiffly, his eyes welling up.

He tugged his hand away and laid down on his side, arranging the pillow under his belly.

Facing away from Viktor.

Viktor closed his eyes against the dull ache in his heart.

_He doesn't mean it. Don't take it personally._

Yuuri was most likely ashamed of what had just happened, and that was why he was pulling away; he was a bit sensitive about his anxiety, and he despised feeling like a burden. He probably didn't want to bother Viktor with his problems, even though he would be glad to listen.

Sometimes Viktor wanted to shake him by the shoulders, to shout at him, "why don't you see how much I want to help?!", but he knew that it would do far more harm than good.

Viktor set the cup on his nightstand and settled back down into the bed, drawing the covers up around his shoulders with a sad sigh.

Sleep, as predicted, wouldn't come easily. The image of Yuuri's eyes wouldn't leave his mind, the cinnamon brown overshadowed by a cloud of fear and grief. It was scarily reminiscent of the look in his eyes the day they had found out he was pregnant. Like his entire world had just screeched to a halt. What in the _world_ had he dreamed…?

After several minutes of trying and failing to fall asleep, Viktor decided to act against his better judgement.

He reached out to touch Yuuri's back.

Yuuri tensed immediately, unease radiating off of his frame.

Viktor made no move to scoot closer or pull Yuuri to him. Instead, he simply rubbed the tips of his fingers up and down Yuuri's spine, the contact so light that it was barely there. He prayed that Yuuri found comfort in his touch.

Soft words formed on his lips, a sweet, haunting melody from his childhood. The crispness of his own language always felt strange on his tongue after spending so long speaking mostly English around Yuuri.

Yuuri's shoulders relaxed, almost imperceptibly.

A completely different voice filling Viktor's head as he sang, singing the words along with him as it had many years ago. A lovely voice, full of life and love, almost otherworldly in its beauty.

A patchy memory filled his mind. He was eleven years old, half delirious with high fever from strep throat.

Long, silky strands of silver hair had brushed against his flaming cheek, and he remembered those hauntingly beautiful green eyes looking down at him as he lay in bed, full of love, with a hint of tired, worried fear.

A different face, looking down at him from the other side of the bed, soft blue eyes framed by blond hair, shining with unwavering strength. The deep, quiet voice whispered to him.

_"Vse budet khorosho, synok. My zdes'…"_

A delicate, cool hand had stroked his forehead. It had felt wonderful against his hot skin.

The lullaby had been sung ever so tenderly, words of love and protection, a soft, tearful plea for angels to watch over him and keep him safe.

His voice cracked and caught on the words, tears filling his eyes.

He hoped Yuuri didn't notice, but with how hoarse he was and how much his voice was wavering, he doubted it.

It took a while, but eventually, Yuuri's shoulders completely lost the tight discomfort. His breathing began to even out, his posture growing more and more limp and relaxed.

Viktor lowered his voice, still singing until he was positive that Yuuri was asleep. Once he heard the slow, controlled breathing of slumber, he let his voice trail off.

He turned on his back so he wouldn't have to sniffle and accidentally wake Yuuri, closing his eyes. His lips, flushed with heat from his tears, quivered as he let out a quiet, shuddering breath.

Droplets escaped from the corners of his eyes and trickled down his temples, but not tears of merely sorrow. Tears of nostalgia for days long past.

Tears of love for those that he never got to say goodbye to.

He fell asleep with wetness on his face, and as he slept, his rest was surprisingly peaceful, as if guardian angels were indeed keeping watch over him.

He dreamed of them all night.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vse budet khorosho, synok. My zdes'… = Everything will be fine, my son. We are here. (Thank you to ustaalary for giving me the correct translation! ♡)
> 
> Welp, my heart hurts now. Why did I do that. (Oh yeah, cause @autumn-leaves-falling gave me the idea, lmao)
> 
> I tried to make the nightmare and panic attack as realistic as possible, basing it off of one experience in particular I've had in the past.
> 
> Poor Yuuri ;_; let Viktor love you.
> 
> The lullaby Viktor's mother sang him, and that he in turn sang to Yuuri, is [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2xnPSRSSzU) beautiful piece of music. I'm kind of sad I wasn't able to find a Russian translation/cover, but I can use my imagination, and I think it would sound gorgeous ♡
> 
> As previously mentioned, school is about to end, which will give me much more time to write! I'll try not to go too long without updating, but writer's block strikes at strange times, so I'll do my best to power through it!
> 
> Thank you for all of the sweet comments/messages so far! They make me irrationally happy and brighten my day. c:
> 
> ♡


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *guess who's back, guess who's back*
> 
> Holy fuck, it's been forever. I'm sorry for the wait. I got my wisdom teeth removed, and let me tell you, it was...an experience.
> 
> This chapter is basically gratuitous fluff with only a tiiiny pinch of angst for once. I hope it ends up being worth the wait ;;
> 
> Smut forecast: clear skies!

_29 weeks, 2 days_

 

 

Waking up was annoying, in and of itself.

 _Being_ woken up was even more undesirable.

Yuuri squeezed his eyes shut and groaned out a protesting noise when, through the heavy haze of sleep, he felt his shoulder being slowly moved, rather than shaken. _Nope_ , his mind whispered, _ignore it and go back to sleep. It's cold outside, and it's warm under here._

He felt cool fingers tenderly smooth his hair off of his forehead, then a warm, sweet kiss on his temple. "Wake up, Yuuri," Viktor's low, gentle voice broke the quiet of their room. "We have an ultrasound appointment in an hour and a half."

 _Oh…right…I had almost forgotten_ …

He cracked his eyes open to see Viktor gazing down at him lovingly, his smile so very soft in the dim light from the bathroom. The minimal light from the window was grey; it was barely dawn.

He heard Makkachin's tags clink together softly, then with a shift of the covers, the poodle wiggled underneath the comforter and nosed his way under one of Yuuri's arms.

"Makka, no," he whined groggily, "it's too early…" he received a lick on the cheek as an answer.

A silky chuckle caressed the air. "Wake up, sleeping beauty. We get to see the baby today, aren't you excited?" The bed dipped as Viktor rose, and Yuuri could hear him rummaging in the chest of drawers, likely looking for clean socks or underwear.

"Be excited once I'm actually awake," he slurred, burrowing further underneath the heavy comforter and sighing. Why did doctors insist on getting you out of bed so damn early?

Makkachin cuddled closer to him, sniffing his shirt and licking his chin. _I probably smell a lot different to him now._ He draped an arm over Makkachin's warm back and drew him closer, nestling his cheek in the curly fur on top of his head. He felt the happy thumps of a wagging tail through the mattress, and it made him smile sleepily.

Lulled by the warmth and comfort of Makkachin next to him, he nearly fell back to sleep. The world of sleep pulled on him gently, enticing him to give in and drift off. It was so nice and cozy…

But once again, he was unceremoniously plucked from the brink of slumber. "Do you want to make breakfast or just eat something quick?" Viktor's voice sounded from the bathroom, echoing against the tile. His words were slightly garbled by toothpaste.

Yuuri reluctantly sat up with a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I don't really _want_ to eat anything…" he stretched his arms behind his back with a strained grunt, then relaxed and rested one hand on his belly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the other.

"You need to eat, love," Viktor reminded, "you and the baby need the nutrients." The water in the sink turned on.

Yuuri sighed, stroking Makkachin's head. "I know. I'm just so tired of having heartburn." He couldn't really avoid it anymore, no matter what he ate. Sometimes it was bad enough to make him nauseous.

Viktor made a sympathetic noise. "Maybe we can ask the doctor about some over-the-counter antacid. I'm sure there's a kind that's safe to take during pregnancy."

"I really hope so." Yuuri covered a wide yawn, forcing himself to wake up a little. "Would you grab the lotion while you're in there?"

"Of course." Viktor emerged from the bathroom, Yuuri's fluffy robe draped over his shoulder and the tube of stretch mark cream in hand that Yuuko had been kind enough to mail to them.

"Thanks." Yuuri reached out to take the offered tube, mentally preparing himself for the shock of cold that came with baring his belly to the cool air of the bedroom. He never looked forward to it. Makkachin scooted away, used to the morning routine by now, but stayed close enough to rest his head on Yuuri's knee.

"My pleasure, love."

He folded the hem of his pajama shirt up over the smooth bulge of his abdomen, shivering. "Is it always this cold in early October?" He squeezed a few lines onto his belly, rubbing the light, thin cream into his pulled-tight skin. At least it soaked in fairly quickly, lotion underneath clothes always felt so icky. It really did help with the dry itchiness, though.

"This is actually a fairly warm autumn so far," Viktor said, laying Yuuri's robe over the end of the bed, "it's usually much colder. Last year at this time, it would barely make it past zero degrees during the day. I had to drip my water every day to keep the pipes from freezing and bursting."

Yuuri shuddered, rubbing his upper arms vigorously, trying to dispel the chill bumps that had risen on his skin. "Maybe I'll get used to it one day…" Even after five years living in Detroit, he was still more accustomed to the fairly balmy temperatures of Hasetsu. Of course, it got cold and snowed in Japan, too, but the cold in Russia was different somehow. It seemed to stab right through you if you weren't wearing a thick enough coat. Luckily, he had bought one recently, along with some infinitely more comfortable maternity jeans that he was pleased to find looked a lot like his normal ones, save for the much wider, stretchy cloth waistband that would accommodate his baby bump as it continued to swell.

He set the tube on the night stand and slipped his glasses on, leaning back and waiting for the lotion to soak in a bit before he pulled his shirt back down over his belly. A quick check revealed that he still had no stretch marks that he could see. Viktor had, of course, vehemently assured him that he would be just as attractive if he did gain some, but he didn't really want any more than he already had; there were already a few pale ones on the insides of his thighs from the weight he'd gained before he met Viktor. Thankfully, the lotion seemed to be helping those fade as well. Yuuko had sworn by the stuff for a reason, he guessed.

He felt a tiny twitch in his womb, then a long, slow stretch. "Good morning," he whispered, rubbing the side of his belly gently.

Viktor gave a soft smile over his shoulder from the closet. "Baby awake?"

"Mhm," Yuuri sighed, feeling the relaxed, leisurely turn of the baby waking up against his side. He rested his hand over the movement. "For once, I woke up first."

The baby kept him up during the night more often than not here lately, kicking and prodding him relentlessly. It was like the little thing did all of its sleeping during the day, just so it could party it up at night, gleefully pressing all over Yuuri's insides. For such a small baby, it sure was active. Yuuri blamed Viktor's "hardy Russian bloodline." Viktor just thought it was adorable.

A sudden heat flared and blossomed through his body, and he dropped his head onto the pillow and groaned in annoyance. He hadn't had any idea that hot flashes were a common symptom of pregnancy until they started happening to him, but the doctor had told him it was perfectly normal. They had never hit at a particularly inconvenient time yet, but he was just waiting for the day when it happened. Thankfully, the episodes never lasted more than a couple of minutes, miserable as they were. He kicked the comforter and sheets down and off of his feet, crossing his ankles and sighing in relief, suddenly very grateful for how cold the room was. He picked up a magazine from the nightstand and fanned himself with it, stretching and wiggling his bare toes.

"Hot flash?" Viktor asked as he pulled a shirt on, and Yuuri nodded, panting.

"Not a very bad one, thank goodness."

Viktor sighed. "I'm sorry."

Yuuri raised an eyebrow. "What for?"

"I...just expressing sympathy, it seems pretty uncomfortable." He looked strangely guilty.

Yuuri smiled a bit confusedly at him. "It's nothing I can't handle," he assured, "and it never lasts long. See, it's already going away." The unnatural heat was beginning to drain away, leaving his skin cool and clammy. He blew out a breath, wiping away the sweat that had beaded on his forehead. "That was a short one." He rested his hand back on his belly.

"That's good." Viktor looked relieved as well.

Yuuri grunted softly at the sudden, sharp roll right underneath his hand. "You sure woke up quickly," he muttered down at his belly, "where do you get all that energy?"

"From both of us, most likely," Viktor said with a grin.

"She…or he…is laying sideways," Yuuri pointed in a line across his belly, "like this. Head's over here…" he massaged his fingers into his right side, feeling the hard roundness of the baby's head underneath them, then felt around on his left side. He felt the tiny feet pitter against his fingers. "Feet are over here. They're lounging." He grunted out an " _oof_ " as the baby kicked off of his side and turned over, the movement rippling across his belly. "Or not…" he rubbed the spot. "Sheesh, catapult off of me, why don't you…"

"Use you as a springboard?" Viktor asked amusedly, pulling a hoodie over his head.

"Mhm. Took my breath away." Makkachin nudged the back of Yuuri's hand with his wet nose, his big, dark eyes inquisitive. "You see the baby, Makka?" Yuuri asked softly, moving his hand out of the way. Makkachin nosed against the side of his belly, one of his ears raised in curiosity, then flinched and backed up in surprise when the baby rolled again, staring in disbelief at the protrusion it created on Yuuri's skin. If dogs could have raised eyebrows, Makkachin's would have flown through the roof.

"Viktor," Yuuri hissed, waving his hand and pointing when he got Viktor's attention. Makkachin shifted on the bed, looking at Yuuri's belly from different angles and occasionally letting out a slightly confused woof. He pawed at the spot where the baby had been, and Yuuri was struck by how cautious and gentle the gesture was. "Yeah, that's the baby, boy, right in here." Yuuri patted his bare stomach. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Viktor was recording video with his phone.

"Did he feel it?" Viktor asked quietly, trying not to draw Makkachin's attention too much. Yuuri nodded wordlessly.

The dog cocked his head from side to side, still a bit bewildered. After a little while, seemingly coming to an understanding, Makkachin laid down, resting the side of his head against Yuuri's stomach. "Oh, my _God_ ," Yuuri said in a stage whisper, "this is the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life."

"Makkaaa…you felt the baby, huh? That's our baby." Viktor's voice rose and fell in a tender croon. Yuuri heard his phone snap a picture.

Yuuri felt another heavy shift in his womb toward his side, one he was positive that Makkachin must have felt, but his reaction was different this time. The poodle simply snuggled closer, tucking his nose into the comforter and rubbing the side of his face on Yuuri's belly.

"Aww," Yuuri's voice wavered, "you love the baby, Makka?" Makkachin just responded by licking Yuuri's hand, his eyes soft with affection and his tail swishing back and forth on the bed. Tears pooled in Yuuri's eyes and dripped down his face before he even realized it was happening. He hastily wiped them away with the heel of his hand and sniffled.

Viktor turned off the video camera, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. "You okay?"

"Fine, it was just one of those things." Yuuri laughed through his tears to hide his embarrassment. If he'd thought that his emotions would level out eventually as his pregnancy progressed, he had been wrong. The tiniest thing could set him off these days: missing his family, diaper commercials, anything remotely cute…a few days ago, he had broken down into tears at the rink because he realized that Yuri was eventually going to be taller than him. Yuri had awkwardly patted him on the shoulder, his eyes screaming for Viktor to come help him calm Yuuri down. It had actually been kind of funny, now that he looked back on it.

Viktor's lips settled into a gentle smile. He sat down on the edge of the bed, rubbing his hand over the apex of Yuuri's belly. "How do you feel?"

Yuuri sniffled deeply, feeling the urge to cry ebb away, as it always did. "Besides it being ass-thirty in the morning? I feel pretty good. I got a surprising amount of sleep." Yuuri's breath hitched as a little hand or foot caught on his ribs. "First time in a while I haven't been woken up by your spawn fifty times in one night."

Viktor held a hand to his chest dramatically. "What a crude way to refer to our baby. I am highly offended." Yuuri snorted, and Viktor's face sobered, his eyes becoming cautious. "How did you sleep?"

Yuuri felt himself tense involuntarily. "What do you mean? I just told you." His tone was a bit stiff.

Viktor wet his lips, looking apprehensive. "You didn't…you slept well? No more dreams like…" he trailed off, as if he were unwilling to continue.

Yuuri's throat tightened, but he shook his head. "No."

The blue eyes that gazed back at him were sad.

Yuuri fidgeted, looking off to the side and hating the tense silence that stretched between them.

Hating it, because it was all his fault.

The occasional nightmares he'd been having since nearly losing the baby were beginning to wear him down. Four times now, Yuuri had woken up from utterly _horrific_ dreams to Viktor's panicked face leaning over him, desperately trying to disguise his fear as he shook Yuuri awake. One of the times, the most recent one, Viktor had actually ended up in tears because he had had trouble snapping Yuuri out of it. Once he had regained full consciousness, the shame that Yuuri had felt had been utterly crippling.

Viktor hadn't brought it up during the day yet, but Yuuri knew how badly it bothered him. He hated making him worry; Viktor was stressed enough over the pregnancy already without having to help Yuuri recover from nightmares at least once a week. It was emotionally exhausting for both of them, and Yuuri could see it beginning to drive a wedge between them.

Never before in his life had he felt terror like he had those few hours weeks ago, when the baby's future had been uncertain. The weight of his child's survival had pressed so heavily on his shoulders that he felt like he was drowning, burdened down by the responsibility. He supposed it was only natural that he would have nightmares after such a traumatic experience.

He didn't dare think what he would have been compelled to do if the baby hadn't lived.

There was no way he was going to bother Viktor with such depressing thoughts when he had his own struggles to deal with.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to nag." Viktor's voice, quiet and pained, drew Yuuri's eyes back to his face. His eyes shone with sincere concern.

Yuuri itched with guilt, wishing he could make the awful feeling go away. "You're not nagging… I just don't want to…"

_Worry you._

_Be a burden to you._

_Annoy you._

_Make you tired of me._

"Yuuri?" Viktor prodded gently, his eyes pleading.

Chickening out, Yuuri lowered his gaze to his lap, twisting his ring. "Nothing. I-I'm sorry for worrying you."

 _Coward_.

Viktor's eyes shadowed over. "Yuuri, please," he said miserably, but Yuuri cut him off, his mouth moving of its own accord.

"Don't, okay? Just…I'll…I'll tell you sometime. Just…not now. Please," he whispered. The familiar coldness was crawling up his throat.

Viktor's shoulders slumped. "Okay. I'm sorry for pressuring you. I just want to help, because I love you."

Yuuri felt like he could breathe again. He reached to tuck Viktor's bangs behind his ear. "I know. I love you, too. I'm sorry I don't always…it's just…hard," he finished lamely.

Viktor just gave an understanding nod, leaning to press a kiss to Yuuri's cheek.

As if trying to break the tension between its parents, the baby gave an abrupt jab up into Viktor's hand, and both of them started at the sudden movement. "Well, hello," Viktor laughed, scooting and leaning down to eye level with Yuuri's belly and pressing his palms against the sides, "you want some attention, too, huh?" He pressed a lingering kiss underneath Yuuri's navel, his voice softening. "I can't wait to be able to hold you and love on you, little bean, I'm going to give you so many kisses and hugs." He nuzzled his nose into the soft skin, his thumbs rubbing Yuuri's sides lightly.

Yuuri's heart melted. "They're going to love you so much," he whispered, combing Viktor's silky bangs to the side. He, for one, couldn't wait to see Viktor hold their baby in his strong arms. What an adorable sight it would be. His chest fluttered at the very thought.

Viktor gave Yuuri's belly one last rub, then pulled the shirt down over the bump and stood. "I need a shower before we go, I should probably go do that."

Yuuri slid out of bed as well, slipping on his robe and tying the belt at the top of the bulge of his abdomen. "You should." He pulled on some warm socks as best he could with the baby in the way. "I'll go make something quick for breakfast." He laughed softly at the way Makkachin perked up and leapt from the bed at the word 'breakfast'.

Viktor opened his mouth to protest, but whatever he was going to say was silenced by Yuuri's hand over his mouth.

"No," Yuuri said firmly, "I'm perfectly capable. I'm pregnant, not broken." He removed his hand, and Viktor's eyes twinkled.

"You read minds now?"

Yuuri gave him a light shove. "Go shower, Dad. We're going to be late."

"Dad, huh…"

Viktor's expression was positively delighted, and the contagious joy stayed with Yuuri all throughout breakfast, warming him from the inside.

-

 

 [](http://i.imgur.com/AhRyQGU)

(video attached)

 **CfghTheAntLord** holy cow that is CUTE #victorybaby  
3,425 likes

 **cherryblossompanic** oh my god even the doggo loves the baby I'm crying #victorybaby  
1,897 likes

 **meepmeep-minami** oh my GOD. YOU COULD SEE IT IT MOVINGGG That is so amazing?? I hope I get to see you at Skate Canada, @katsuki-y #victorybaby  
4,274 likes

 **katsuki-y** you will! can't wait to see you skate! :)  
     7,293 likes

 **meepmeep-minami**!!!! AWESOME :D  
          3,208 likes

 **sara-crisp** oh my goodness, the baby is already so strong! and capturing doggy and human hearts alike  <3 #victorybaby #precious  
1,243 likes

 **yuri-plisetsky** jeez that looks like it hurts #victorybaby #uncleyuri  
2,758 likes

 **katsuki-y** it does from time to time, but i don't mind  
     3,215 likes

 **Nothisispatrick** Viktor's posts just always make me smile. He's so ready to be a dad. #victorybaby  
489 likes

 **megumin-best-girl** my cat would do the same thing when i was pregnant, always cuddling up to my tummy and rubbing against it. i think animals can sense the teeny little life inside…  <3 #victorybaby  
896 likes

 **christophe-gc** awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww my heart ♡♡ I'm gonna spoil that little toot rotten #victorybaby #unclechris #whatacutiepie  
2,964 likes

 **Sk8rsquad** oh my god…toward the very end of the video, you can tell Yuuri was crying…I just shed a few tears. This is too precious for words :')  
525 likes

 **phichit-chu** look at them go! I can't wait to feel that for myself, oh my god…I'm in love already!! Love you guys! ♡ #victorybaby #unclephichit #thatsonestrongbabykatsudon  
5,840 likes

>See 492 more comments

-

"Nngh…A- _aah_ …oh, God…"

"You're fine, Yuuri, she's almost done…"

"It still _hurts_ , Viktor!"

"R-right…sorry."

Yuuri gasped again, squeezing his eyes shut and squirming on the examination table, his toes curling in discomfort above the stirrups his heels were in. He was obviously struggling not to move too much. Viktor sat beside him, stroking his hair and holding his hand, feeling a bit useless. He couldn't imagine how painful having a cerclage checked was, but evidenced by the little huffs and whimpers Yuuri was emitting, it wasn't pleasant in the least. He had a fairly high pain tolerance.

"Just a few more seconds, I promise, Yuuri…" Olesya murmured, gently turning the wand inside him and watching the ultrasound monitor. Yuuri just let out a tight, pained breath, digging his fingers into Viktor's hand.

Deciding not to attempt more feeble verbal comfort, Viktor simply dropped a kiss on the top of his head, rubbing the back of his hand with his thumb, and Yuuri breathed slowly, the hand holding Viktor's giving a telltale quiver.

To distract himself, Viktor looked around at the various diagrams on the wall of the room. One was of a full-term baby in a womb, and he was shocked to see just how much space it took up in the mother's abdomen. The organs were extremely squished and misplaced around the uterus, stretched full with the baby taking up all of the possible room. He couldn't even imagine having something that big and heavy and squirmy inside of him, much less for several months.

A pang of sadness jabbed at his heart. It had to be incredibly uncomfortable for Yuuri; even if he wasn't full term yet, he would be soon.

 _My sweet, strong Yuuri. I'm so sorry_.

After what felt like much more than a few seconds, the nurse spoke again. "Okay, all done. I'm going to pull it out now, okay? Try to relax…"

She slowly pulled the ultrasound wand out of him, bracing her other hand on his knee. Yuuri turned his pale face into Viktor's shoulder, gripping his hand tightly and trembling. The pitiful, bleating noise that escaped his throat cut Viktor to the bone.

With an inward start, he suddenly wondered how in the absolute hell he was going to be able to watch Yuuri go through the agony of childbirth if he could barely handle this.

He shoved the thought as far back into his mind as possible. Focus on the present.

"Everything looks perfect, no inflammation and the stitching is still nice and tight." The head of the wand cover was tinged red with Yuuri's blood when it emerged, and try as he might to beat it back, it still made Viktor worry.

"Is that normal, for him to still bleed when you do this?" Viktor asked hesitantly as Olesya carefully removed the speculum from Yuuri's birth canal. He felt Yuuri breathe a sigh of relief and go limp as a dishrag as she unlatched it and pulled it out, dropping it and the wand cover into two separate bio hazard bags.

"Yes, actually. The rubbing of the head of the wand against the cervix usually disrupts the stitches slightly and causes some spotting, but it heals very quickly." She looked apologetic, as always. "I'm so sorry about the discomfort. I know how bad it feels." She handed Yuuri a few tissues.

Yuuri reached between his legs to wipe away the lubricant, wrinkling his nose at the no doubt strange feeling. "You've had a cerclage before?" His voice was still a little shaky.

She nodded with a smile, prepping the ultrasound machine with the larger wand head and picking up the small, blue tube. "I did, unfortunately, but it allowed me to carry to term." She pulled the extender out underneath the table so Yuuri could take his feet out of the stirrups and rest his legs on it, then laid the crinkly blue covering over Yuuri's groin, tucking it under the sides of his hips.

"That's good…"

"I'll give you a bit of hope: taking the stitches out is far less painful than putting them in, and once your newborn is in your arms, nothing else matters and everything is worth it." Her violet eyes were soft with love.

"Did you have a boy or a girl?"

"A boy. My little Andriy is nearly two now, and he is quite the handful, but I love him more than words can describe." She reached to dim the lights, then squeezed a thick squiggle of translucent blue gel onto the length of Yuuri's belly and pressed the wand into it, clicking a key on the keyboard.

The familiar awe rose in Viktor's chest as the screen flickered to life with the image of their baby, but then, his mouth fell open in surprise.

"Will you look at that," Olesya said softly.

"Oh, my God," Yuuri's face lit up in a smile of disbelief. "Is it…?"

"It looks like it to me," she agreed, moving the wand up and stilling the frame briefly. "It is very common for babies to practice suckling in the womb. A good sign that you will have a healthy baby."

Viktor felt tears prick his eyes. The baby was curled up, either asleep or just resting, with its tiny hand held to its lips. Its thumb was tucked in its mouth, and it was contentedly suckling away. He could actually see the slight movement of the little jaw up and down.

"That is incredible," he whispered around the lump in his throat, and Yuuri reached for his hand, threading their fingers together. God, he'd never get tired of seeing it. How could a baby that wasn't even born yet be so _cute?_

"Are you going to cry at every appointment?" Yuuri teased, though his eyes were a little misty as well.

Viktor wiped his eyes with a laugh. "I just might."

Olesya chuckled, moving the wand down to the soft space between Yuuri's belly and hip. "All comfy and cozy in there. And see this dark area? You have a nice, healthy amount of amniotic fluid in there to cushion the baby." She pointed out various features to them, trailing her finger down the ghostly image of the baby and sliding the wand through the gel as she spoke. "There, you can see the backbone." Sure enough, the baby's delicate spine was clearly visible, as was its ribs, pelvic bone, and heart as it pumped steadily away. Its little fingers and toes were so _tiny_ …

Viktor couldn't resist; he pulled out his phone and snapped a quick picture.

The heartbeat briefly sounded from the speakers, bringing a smile to Viktor and Yuuri's faces. "Sounds perfect. Healthy babies make my job so much easier," Olesya said with a smile. She began writing down the measurements, but then the beeping of her pager cut the quiet. She made a frustrated noise, glancing at the pager hooked to her waistband. "I have to take this, it's my supervisor…would you like to…" she raised her eyebrows at Viktor and pointed to the wand, and he smiled widely, unable to contain his excitement.

"Of course!"

Viktor traded places with her, taking the ultrasound wand. She showed him which keys to press to freeze the frame and take a screenshot, then with a stern, smiling order not to touch anything else, she left, promising to be back as quickly as she possibly could.

The dimly lit examination room was mostly quiet for a few minutes, only broken by the soft beeps of the machine and loving commentary from Viktor and Yuuri when the baby did something.

It was still so _amazing_ to see their child before they were even born, moving just underneath Yuuri's skin. To watch them slowly growing bigger, swelling Yuuri's abdomen outward more with every passing week. Viktor couldn't believe that he was already approaching his third trimester. His belly was beginning to get pretty big.

In just two short months, they would meet the little person they had created together, born out of their deep love for each other.

What a breathtaking thought that was.

"Aw…stretching out," Yuuri murmured as the baby shifted and extended its arms, drawing its little legs close to its body. "I bet that feels good, huh?" He trailed his fingers along the raised lump on his belly, likely a tiny hand. "Sleepy baby…" his voice was a high, gentle coo. The baby's mouth stretched wide in a yawn, and Viktor raised his eyebrows, quickly stilling the frame.

"I had no idea babies could yawn before they're born…" He took a screenshot.

"I didn't either," Yuuri breathed, shifting downward on the examination table and laying his hand on the side of his belly. The baby wiggled briefly, then slowly rolled over. "Oh," Yuuri chuckled, "Viktor, are you seeing this?"

Viktor looked down at Yuuri's belly, and he could _see_ the baby rolling over, pressing the skin above Yuuri's navel up from the inside. Or, where his navel used to be. It was stretched completely flat now, just a dark smudge where it used to be.

"Active little bean," he noted with a grin.

"Tell me about it," Yuuri huffed out, moving his hand to his upper belly. His eyes closed in a flinch. "Ooh…"

Viktor gave his knee a sympathetic squeeze. "Hurting?"

"Kinda…" Viktor could tell that his breathing didn't come easily. "Pressing up into my lungs." Yuuri tensed and grunted softly as the baby shifted upward even farther, little feet kicking his organs. "Cut it out, baby, that hurts," he pleaded breathlessly.

Viktor chuckled, trying not to worry. "Stubborn little bean, too." He moved the wand up to where the baby was, his heart filling with affection. What a perfect little nose they already had… " _Lapochka_ , you're hurting mama, hurry up and move, please." He had previously thought that it would embarrass him to speak like this, but the singsong baby talk felt so natural already. It was similar to the way he talked to Makkachin.

"So what are we going to name this 'little bean'?" Yuuri asked, voice still a little strained, "we can't keep calling them little bean forever."

"I think it's a nice name!" Viktor laughed out, unable to keep the impudent grin off of his face.

Yuuri snorted. "That's a terrible name."

"Fine, how about Ina?"

Yuuri gave him a deadpan look. "We are not naming our child after a figure skating move."

"…Biellmann?"

Yuuri glared.

Viktor gave a mock pout. "Yuuko did it…"

"Yuuko is crazy."

"…point."

Yuuri shook his head, smiling. "Have you thought about this at all?"

Viktor nodded. "Yes, actually. I asked you about it, but you weren't…" his smile faded, "you weren't completely conscious at the time."

He had to force the image of Yuuri dazed and delirious with fever out of his mind. He never wanted to see that again.

Yuuri looked down, his eyes losing a little of their sparkle. "Ah."

Viktor shook his head, dispelling the depressing memory. "Well, anyway, since they'll have my surname, what would you say to them having a Japanese first name?"

Yuuri's head cocked from side to side, then he nodded with a smile. "I like it. It will sound pretty along with your surname. And I think it would make it easier for my family to pronounce. Do you have any picked out?"

Viktor scratched his cheek with one finger, twisting his lips to the side. "Mmmaybe." He totally didn't have a whole list on his phone, nope, not at all…

…okay, maybe he did, sue him, he was excited.

Yuuri laughed. "Let's hear them. I'll tell you if they mean something ridiculous."

Viktor's eyes drifted back to the ultrasound screen. "For a boy, I like a couple of different ones. My two favorites are Chiharu and Hachiro."

Yuuri hummed, still sounding a bit out of breath. "Hachiro means 'eighth son'."

Viktor sighed disappointedly. "Well, I guess that one is out, then…"

"I would hope so," amusement colored Yuuri's tone. "Chiharu can mean several different things, depending on kanji. The most popular one is 'one thousand springs', spring as in the season."

Viktor brightened. "I love that. It reminds me of springtime in Hasetsu, with the cherry trees blooming and raining petals everywhere." He couldn't wait to go back. It already felt like a home away from home.

Yuuri looked pleased. "I like it, too."

Chiharu Nikiforov. It sounded noble. Strong. Befitting of a baby who had already survived so much.

"For a girl, I haven't found any that I really like yet, but I'll keep looking." The baby shifted downward, and Yuuri exhaled deeply, whimpering out a sigh of relief.

"Thank God, it was getting hard to breathe…" Yuuri took several deep breaths, closing his eyes, his brow wrinkled in discomfort.

Guilt rubbed at Viktor's conscience.

"Let's see…" Yuuri pursed his lips thoughtfully, linking his fingers together on his upper belly. "How about…Natsumi? 'Beautiful summer?'"

"Your due date is December 19th," Viktor reminded, "that wouldn't make much sense, considering the time."

"Hmm…" Yuuri drummed his fingers on his belly. "I'll have to think for a while."

Olesya returned after a few minutes, apologizing for leaving them alone for so long. As she took Yuuri and the baby's vitals, Viktor wracked his memory, trying to recall any of the Japanese names he had heard in his life.

This was going to be harder than he thought…

-

  
 

 

 **TimeToDuel** I'm crying, this is so beautiful ;_; #victorybaby  
1,208 likes

 **yuri-plisetsky** is she sucking her thumb?? #victorybaby  
3,642 likes

 **v-nikiforov** indeed  <3 apparently it's common  
     3,201 likes

 **yuri-plisetsky** wow  
          2,390 likes

 **mila-b** awww…are you guys having a girl? #victorybaby  
1,643 likes

 **katsuki-y** yurio seems to think so ^ ^; we don't actually know. we're keeping it a surprise  
     16k likes

 **mila-b** ohhh okay  
          998 likes

 **SoiledIt** look at that little nose, oh my heart ♡ #victorybaby  
423 likes

 **+guanghongji+** ohhh that's so sweet…babies are adorable. ^_^ #victorybaby  
1,008 likes

 **Raiarain** it just makes me so happy that everything is going well for them…viktor is just ecstatic about all of it and it's so adorable. #victorybaby  
179 likes

 **phichit-chu** oh, look at them…they're so beautiful already. I hope you know you just made me cry in a restaurant, @v-nikiforov @katsuki-y :') #victorybaby #ithinktheyhaveyournoseyuuri #alsoitsgonnabeaboy #dontlistentoyuri  
2,799 likes

 **yuri-plisetsky** lol you're wrong tho  
     3,917 likes

 **phichit-chu** we'll see who's wrong in the end!  
          3,468 likes

 **christophe-gc** you're getting big, hon! rocking that belly ;* #victorybaby #youwearitwellboo  
2,391 likes

 **katsuki-y** i know, haha…i feel so huge  
     1,439 likes

 **sukeoka3sisters** whoa…how do you hug people?? doesn't the baby get in the way? :o —Axel #victorybaby  
798 likes

 **katsuki-y** i have to kind of turn sideways a bit, lol, but i manage! tell your mom and dad hi for us, okay?  
     4,207 likes

 **sukeoka3sisters** they said hi back and they love you guys, and to come visit as soon as you can!  
          692 likes

 **katsuki-y** we will ♡ we love you too  
               2,468 likes

 **sargent-guy** wtf that's so weird. why the hell are male omegas even allowed to have kids, it's so fuckin gross  
12 likes

 **00Ophelia00** lmfaooo hon you better back tf UP, don't even start that shit. there ain't NOTHIN wrong with guys having babies. nature designed it that way, and it's an amazing part of secondary genders (which people don't talk too much about tbh and it's totes cool to keep it private) so don't even try to fuck around here with ur omegaphobic word vomit. don't like, don't look, keep ur goddamn mouth shut and move on with ur sad little life #byebitch #fuckthefuckoff #yourenotwantedhere #omegapride  
     7,250 likes

 **do-it-for-the-pronz** dude do the entire world a favor and keep your disgustingly rude opinion in your nasty mouth. there's no call to act so hateful toward someone you don't even know. grow up.  
          1,739 likes

 **december-rain** oh go stick a cattle prod up your rectum, no one asked you shitbag #youmustbefunatparties  
               732 likes  
  
                     >See 11 more comments

 **g-popo** you're becoming sentimental already, vitya…so sweet :') #victorybaby #younglove  
592 likes

 **v-nikiforov** as if i wasnt always lmao  
     2,382 likes

 **Jesus-take-the-whole-damn-car** so…I really really hate to ask this but how do male omegas even give birth…? Not hating, just genuinely curious. Also, congrats on the baby! #victorybaby  
1,963 likes

 **YuChan24** https://www.webmd.com/secondary_gender/omega/anatomy.j2dhk28Dknqj this explains all that you need to know. it's really pretty fascinating :)  
     1,273 likes

 **Jesus-take-the-whole-damn-car** oh thanks so much!  
          235 likes

 **Kisskiss23** awwwwwwww, sweet little baby! #victorybaby  
368 likes

>See 492 more comments

  
-

"…Satori? 'Enlightenment?'"

"Eh…I don't really like that one."

Yuuri took a sip of his vegetable soup. "Hmm…Ayame? 'Iris', like the flower?"

"Don't you think that one is a little generic?"

Yuuri huffed. "Picky. I'll find one you like eventually."

The cafe/coffee house they had stopped at after leaving the doctor's was mostly empty, save for an older couple in the corner and a young man on a laptop with his ear buds in his ears. _Don't forget to stop at the drug store for Yuuri's prescription after this,_ Viktor's mind reminded him.

Viktor chewed on the end of his straw, an unhappy frown furrowing his brows. "I don't feel like it should be this hard. We decided on Chiharu so quickly."

"I guess that one was just meant to be. We'll find one, don't worry. Ugh, here," Yuuri fished a large piece of tomato out of his bowl, dropping it in Viktor's with a soft _plip_ , "since you like those." Viktor enthusiastically scooped it up with his next bite, and Yuuri made a disgusted noise. "How do you eat those? They're so…slimy."

"I don't know, I just like them. How do you _not_ eat them?"

Yuuri shrugged. "I eat around them?"

"More for me, I suppose." Viktor made a show of enjoying the bite, and Yuuri gave a mock gag to the side.

_"Henjin."_

"Did you just call me weird?"

"I did."

"…You love me anyway."

"I do." Yuuri reached out to pull Viktor's fingers to his lips for a kiss.

Viktor's heart did a little dance. Yuuri was so cute. "Maybe we should start thinking of names based on meaning first. I'd like it to mean something special, like the boy name does."

"Well, what would you like it to mean?" Yuuri asked.

"Well…"

Yuuri prodded Viktor's leg with his foot under the table. "Go on, it's not like I'll laugh. I wanna know."

"It may be a little silly…"

Yuuri's smile was gentle and sweet. "I still want to know."

Viktor lowered his eyes, a smile of nostalgia pulling at the corners of his lips. "The ocean. More specifically, the ocean near Hasetsu."

Yuuri rested his chin on his folded hands, his eyes attentive. "Why the ocean?"

"Well, do you remember the day, soon after we first met, when we took Makkachin to the beach? The day I asked you what you wanted me to be to you." Yuuri nodded, his cinnamon brown eyes softening and catching the light from the window. "That was sort of…when I knew that what I felt for you wasn't just a crush. I feel like that was the day I fell in love with you. Plus, all of our trips to the beach were always special to me, because I love the ocean, and I love you. So…that's why," he finished quietly, his cheekbones feeling warm.

Yuuri's mouth was hidden by his hands, but Viktor could see the tears pooling in his eyes, and it saddened him.

"I've got to stop doing that," Viktor sighed, reaching up to brush away the tear that dripped onto Yuuri's knuckles. "I don't like it when I make you cry."

"It's not your fault," Yuuri's voice wavered, and he sniffled. "I won't be like this forever." He reached under his glasses with one finger, wiping his tears away, his smile quivering. "That's a really sweet reason. I'll—"

The tinkling of the bell above the door drew their attention briefly, only for a very pale Yuri to stride through the doorway with Otabek Altin trailing behind him, barely keeping up with Yuri's now longer stride.

"Yuri, come on, you're being ridiculous, we need to—you're not even listening, are you?" Viktor could hear Otabek saying, his tone a cross between placating and annoyed, but Yuri ignored him, sweeping past the table where they sat and into the bathroom. The door slam was just hard enough to shake the jars on the shelves, and a muffled Russian curse sounded from the kitchen.

They both turned back to look at Otabek, and he gave a frustrated sigh up at the ceiling, sticking his hands into his jean pockets. He gave them a slightly awkward smile.

"Mind if we join you?" He asked, nodding to the two empty seats at the table.

It didn't take him long to explain why Yuri was even angrier than usual. Otabek's costume designer lived in Moscow, and before returning home, he had made a slight detour to St. Petersburg to visit Yuri for a couple of days so they could train together. After practicing for a couple of hours, one thing had been made glaringly clear.

Yuri's balance was getting worse.

"He didn't land a single jump." Otabek's charcoal grey eyes were grim. "The last time he fell, I'm pretty sure he broke a finger. He wouldn't let me look at it."

Yuuri's eyes widened and he covered his mouth, and Viktor's face darkened with worry.

"I'll go check on him." Yuuri rose from his chair, a worried pucker on his brow.

"Good luck getting him to talk," Otabek scoffed, "he won't say a word to me. I had to run to keep up with him, and it was just a convenient coincidence that he ducked in here to get away from me." His expression was sullen. Viktor could tell that he was a bit hurt by it.

Yuuri's jaw set in that determined expression that Viktor knew so well. "Then I'll make him talk to me." He marched away.

Viktor's heart ached. Poor _Yuri_. Viktor remembered very well how insanely frustrated he had been when he himself had started getting taller. It was a strange phenomenon, how your body just seemingly stopped obeying you. He had had to have extensive training to relearn where his center of gravity was.

He hoped Yuri would listen to whatever advice Yuuri had to give.

-

Yuuri knocked on the door of the bathroom. "Yu—"

"Go the fuck away."

Anger flared in his chest, but he patted it down. "It's me, Yuri, I just want to talk to you."

"Are you deaf, pig? Go _away_."

Yuuri sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Yuri, I'm not trying to crowd you, but if your finger is broken, we need to take you to the emergency room."

Silence fell.

Yuuri shifted his weight, supporting his belly with one hand, feeling the baby squirm against his side. "Yuri?" He said after a couple minutes of waiting.

The door unlocked and creaked open.

"Get in here before I change my mind."

Yuuri quickly slipped through the door, closing it behind him. He found Yuri leaned against the sink, his face pallid, his chest heaving. Strands of blond escaped the ponytail and clung to his damp forehead. The fingers of his right hand were tightly clasped around the ring finger and pinky of his left hand, and his green eyes were bright with pain.

"How bad does it hurt," Yuuri asked softly, stepping forward, and Yuri briefly shrank back.

"Just don't touch it," he commanded, his voice unsteady. He held out his hand, and Yuuri cringed and sucked air through his teeth sympathetically. The two fingers were swollen at the middle knuckles, the skin darkened to an unnatural flush with the beginnings of what would be nasty bruises.

"That looks painful," Yuuri murmured, reaching out, but Yuri yanked his hand away.

"I said don't touch!" He snapped.

"Either I touch it or a doctor touches it," Yuuri warned, "and I can bet that I'll be a lot more gentle."

After a few seconds of narrow-eyed mistrust, Yuri inched his hand back out again. Being as gentle as he could, Yuuri held the fingers in his own, pressing lightly, but not daring to twist or bend them.

Yuri hissed out a curse, his eyes slamming shut. "Fuck, _fuck_ …" he dug his fingernails into his thigh, panting.

"Those are definitely broken…" Yuuri sighed through his nose. "How did this happen?"

Yuri averted his eyes. "Fell."

Yuuri fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Well, I know that much…how specifically?"

"…fell out of a quad. Overrotated, lost my footing, landed on my fingers." He swallowed, breathing out shakily. "I nearly threw up when it happened."

Yuuri patted his back in comfort. "Can you move them?"

Yuri's fingers barely twitched, but it was enough to drain the remaining color from his face. "N-not really."

"Well, at least it was your non-dominant hand, I guess…" Yuuri hesitated. "Have you been having any more trouble with your balance?"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he could see Yuri's hackles raise. "Some," the teen lied smoothly.

 _Be as supportive as possible without sounding patronizing_ … Yuuri tried to keep his voice calm and soothing, but casual. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone goes through this, it's perfectly n—"

Yuri cut him off with a groan. "Can you not? I don't need a speech." He slid his back down the wall and sank to the floor. He was shaking, and his eyes were hollow.

Yuuri leaned back against the sink, taking some of the weight off of his feet. "Look, Yuri, between the three of us, Viktor, Otabek, and I could help you. We all know how to deal with the change in gravity. It's all about where you put your weight and how you turn your feet. I know I may not be much use out on the ice, but I can still give you some tips on techniques that I used."

Yuri's face was stony, juxtaposing his trembling hands.

Yuuri knelt down next to him, gently laying his hand on the boy's shoulder as he stared at the cracks between the bricked flooring, looking a bit ill. Yuuri didn't say anything else. He didn't have to; Yuri eventually spoke again on his own.

"How am I supposed to skate the season if…if I can't even land a fucking jump?" Yuri whispered, breathing hard and closing his eyes. "I feel wrong. It all feels wrong, and I _hate it."_ His voice wobbled unsteadily on the last few words.

Yuuri's heart tightened. _Poor kid_ … It was strange to see Yuri look so…small and vulnerable. Sometimes Yuuri forgot that he was only sixteen.

He rubbed Yuri's shoulder lightly. "I know it's scary and unknown, but you've just gotta work through it, and you _can_. I have faith in you, Yuri. If you really try hard, you can have it worked out by the first competition. Is it Skate Canada for you?"

Yuri shook his head faintly. "Cup of China. First week of November."

"See there, you still have some time," Yuuri said encouragingly, "I know you can do it. You're not just gonna give up, are you?"

It took a long few moments for Yuri to shake his head.

"Good. Now come on, you need to get your fingers treated. You don't want to lose them." Yuuri pulled himself up with a hand on the sink, then held his hand out for Yuri.

"I can do it," Yuri waved him off tiredly, "you're not supposed to be lifting heavy things."

Yuuri smiled inwardly at the consideration.

Yuri rose slowly, all gangly muscle and awkwardness. Yuuri felt awful for him. He remembered how hard it had been to feel like a stranger in your own body. Puberty was an unforgiving mistress.

When Otabek spotted them on their way back from the bathroom, he stood up, his dark brows raised in questioning concern.

"Let's get this shit over with," Yuri mumbled, keeping his eyes down and walking past. Otabek's face fell a little, but he nodded.

"Will you two be okay? Should we come with you?" Viktor fretted, and Yuri's head whipped around and he gave Viktor a thunderous look.

"Will you _stop_ treating me like I'm a fucking child?" He spat, whirling and storming out the door. Otabek quickly followed with an apologetic glance back over his shoulder. The whole restaurant seemed to breathe a sigh of relief as they left.

Yuuri sank down into the chair with a grunt, rubbing his hands over his face. "That boy's going to give me grey hair before the baby even comes."

Viktor sighed heavily. "From what Otabek told me, it's been like this for a while. He asked me for advice on how to handle him when he's like this. He seems to really care."

 _He cares more than we know, I think_ … It was subtle, but Yuuri saw the way Otabek's eyes would soften slightly when Yuri wasn't looking. Whether it was romantic or platonic love was inconsequential; either way, it was obvious that Otabek cared very deeply. Yuuri was glad. Yuri needed someone level-headed and calm like that in his life.

His mostly-finished soup long cold, he took a final sip of his water and stood, stretching his back briefly, pressing his hand into it.

"We should get going, you need to practice."

Viktor gave an easy smile. "Ready when you are."

-

As they walked the streets on the way to the rink after a quick trip to the pharmacy, the chilly wind nipped at Yuuri's nose and ears as it whistled through the streets. It must have been about thirty-five degrees Fahrenheit, but it didn't seem to bother the locals; the streets were bustling with people, going to and from work, stopping at the many street vendors along the way. The air was filled with delicious aromas from the shops and the smell of wood smoke.

Yuuri shivered and pulled his scarf up around his mouth, slipping his hand into Viktor's and moving closer to him.

"Cold?" Viktor asked in concern, giving his hand a squeeze.

"A bit. I'm not quite used to this weather yet." Yuuri gazed up at the pillowy grey sky. "When does it usually start to snow around here?"

Viktor's thumb rubbed Yuuri's fingers out of habit. "Usually any time after late September. Like I said earlier, it's a bit warm so far, so any precipitation we get will likely be rain. The first snow may be a little bit later than normal this year."

As if to affirm his words, Yuuri felt a raindrop on his nose, then another on his hair. "Oh, great," he murmured, "we don't have an umbrella…"

As the rain picked up, they hurried underneath the awning of one of the shops, shaking the droplets from their clothes. Yuuri took his glasses off to wipe them on his scarf, causing the world in front of him to blur.

"I hope this doesn't last long," Viktor said with a frown, running his fingers through his water-speckled hair, "we can't walk in this. You could get sick."

"That's an old wives' tale," Yuuri muttered, and Viktor looked positively affronted.

"It's not at all. Getting sick would be bad for you and the baby."

Instead of arguing, Yuuri just smiled ruefully, huddling closer to Viktor and slipping one arm around his lean waist underneath his heavy coat. "Keep me warm, then?"

Viktor's strong arms held him close. "Always," came the soft reply against his temple, followed by the sweet press of lips.

Yuuri snuggled his cheek against Viktor's cable-knit sweater, reveling in the warmth that seeped through his own clothes and the gloved hand smoothing up and down his back. Maybe he didn't mind if it rained for a while, after all…

…even if he did have to turn slightly sideways for Viktor to hug him now.

Once the rain let up and they got to the rink, Viktor stayed for about an hour to practice. At this point, with Skate Canada only a little over a week away, he had worked all of the kinks out of both programs, and practice was somewhat of a formality now.

As Viktor skated through both programs a couple of times, Yuuri decided to go ahead and book their plane tickets for Saskatchewan. He had been dreading it, but once he got it done, he was glad he had done it. It felt nice to be able to help Viktor take care of menial chores like this, even if talking with strangers on the phone wasn't exactly at the top of his list of favorite pastimes. It made him feel useful.

Being able to call Viktor Nikiforov "my fiancé" was a plus, too. It made his stomach feel all tingly.

He had only been to Canada a couple of times, and he was getting excited both for the trip itself and for the looming competition. Canada was home to some beautiful scenery, and not only was he going to get to see Viktor skate in competition again for the first time since his comeback, but he was going to get to see Phichit as well. He had missed him terribly. He couldn't wait to see Phichit's reaction to how much his niece or nephew had grown.

He wondered how strange it would feel to be a spectator for once. To be waiting at the kiss and cry when Viktor stepped off of the ice, instead of waiting to skate his own program after him. He was excited to be able to offer Viktor that support. It was almost like they had switched roles, with Viktor being the pupil and Yuuri being the coach.

As Viktor skated over and slipped his skate guards on, Yuuri reached out to take his hand as he stepped off of the ice.

"Ready to head home?"

"God, yes. I need a hot shower." Viktor sat down and fanned his shirt, breathing heavily and looking a bit exhausted. "We should call Yuri sometime later and see how he's doing."

"I hope he's okay…his fingers looked pretty bad." Yuuri dropped Viktor's water bottle in his duffel bag after he took a long drink from it. Viktor unlaced his skates with a soft hiss.

"I'm sure he will be, but regardless of the outcome, he won't be happy about it." He rubbed the inside of his ankle.

Yuuri loaded his skates into the duffel bag. "As usual." They both laughed, Viktor slipped his shoes on and shouldered the bag as they started for the exit.

"Who was on the phone earlier?"

"Oh, I just booked our tickets for Saskatchewan. I figured it would be nice to have it out of the way." Yuuri held the door open for Viktor as he went through it, but when the footsteps behind him halted, he turned his head and gave a questioning smile over his shoulder.

Uncertainty was etched into Viktor's features. His thumb rubbed the strap of the duffel bag in a gesture that reminded Yuuri a bit of his own anxious habits. Yuuri could see that he was very conflicted.

"Is it safe for you to fly?" He asked quietly, shifting his weight.

"Why wouldn't it—oh…" Yuuri smiled, shaking his head fondly. "I'm sure it is."

Viktor's brows drew together. "I don't know if it's a good idea."

The smile slowly faded from Yuuri's face as he realized that Viktor was serious.

"Why?"

Viktor rubbed the back of his neck, his posture stiff. "I just worry about such a long flight. It's seventeen hours, Yuuri. It will be hard on you." Yuuri could tell he was trying to be gentle.

"I'll be fine," he said, waving his hand, "you worry too much."

Viktor's eyes flashed.

The atmosphere abruptly changed. They stared at each other uneasily. Yuuri could feel the disapproval hanging in the air, and it irritated him.

Yuuri frowned. "Pregnant people fly all the time. It's not a big deal."

At least, he didn't think it was.

"It is very much a big deal. What if something happened that far up in the air?" Viktor's face was darkening into a scowl of his own.

Yuuri huffed an exasperated sigh. "Viktor, are you serious? I'm not missing your first competition since coming back. Besides, there's nothing to be concerned about."

"You _should_ be concerned. We don't know if it's safe." Viktor's voice rose, becoming snappish. Yuuri was a bit taken aback by how quickly he'd gotten hostile.

"Is it really worth getting worked up over?" He asked incredulously.

Viktor's eyes glinted with muted anger. "I'm not worked up."

Yuuri took a deep breath and mentally counted to ten. "Viktor, you're overreacting," he said slowly, "I thought we agreed not to worry so much."

Viktor looked off to the side, frowning deeply. "It's a legitimate concern."

They stared each other down for a moment, then Yuuri let out an annoyed sigh, seeing that Viktor wasn't going to budge. He turned and strode through the door, feeling and hearing Viktor follow him.

The walk home was uncomfortable. Viktor walked behind Yuuri, something he almost never did, silently scrolling through his phone with his eyes pointed downward.

Yuuri shoved his hands in his pockets.

 _Baka_.

Viktor was being unreasonable. It was true that some airlines did prohibit pregnant passengers once they were very late into their pregnancies, but Yuuri was only a little over twenty-nine weeks. Almost seven months. The chances of him going into labor this early were slim to none, especially with how careful he'd been being. He and the baby both had gotten a clean, perfect bill of health this morning. There was barely any cause for concern at all.

Yuuri's conscience nudged him gently. _You're high risk. He's worried about you and the baby because he loves you both and he wants you to be safe._

He stubbornly ignored it. Loving someone didn't mean they were allowed to smother you.

But…then again, he thought with a wilt, maybe he was being a bit too casual about it…it wouldn't be hard to get approval from the doctor to ease Viktor's mind. He had an appointment a couple of days before they left for Saskatchewan.

He sighed as they stopped to wait at a crosswalk for the light to turn green, chancing a glance at Viktor. He was still on his phone, his lips set in a thin line and his brows furrowed.

_Pouty._

A small part of him would have found the grumpy expression kind of cute, if Viktor hadn't looked so worn down.

When they reached the house, Makkachin happily greeted them at the door, oblivious to the thundercloud of tension between his humans. Yuuri knelt down to give him a good rubdown, smiling faintly when Makkachin sniffed his belly and snuggled against it to feel the baby's movement. It had been kicking up a storm since their argument, almost as if it was displeased that mom and dad were fighting again.

Viktor quietly set his duffel bag in the closet, peeling his shirt off on the way to the bathroom. The soft click of the door shutting struck Yuuri in the heart with a dull thud.

Viktor hardly ever got this silent when they disagreed.

He only realized he'd been kneeling motionless for several minutes when Makkachin nosed against the side of his belly, whining. His shoulders slumped, but he managed a smile, rubbing the curly ears with both hands.

"Thanks, boy," he whispered, and Makkachin carefully placed his front paws on Yuuri's knees, so he could reach Yuuri's cheek and give it a lick.

He gently set Makkachin to the side and stood with a little effort, flinching when his back popped. It was beginning to ache after sitting on the bench at the rink, even though it hadn't been very long. He pressed the heel of his hand into his lower back, arching it and stretching, and the reflection of himself in the glass of the bookcase caught his attention.

 _Man_ … He gazed at the reflection and smoothed his hand down his belly, stopping at the underside to cradle it and marvel at the weight. He was getting big. The swell of the baby growing inside him was beginning to obstruct his view of his feet. "How much bigger are you going to get, Chiharu?" He whispered with a smile, testing the name on his lips. Chiharu Nikiforov. He was in love with it already.

Feeling sleepy, he slipped his shoes off at the door, padding to the couch and sitting down with a huff. He wanted to put pajamas on, but he couldn't make himself get back up to do it; the couch was so plush and comfortable. He took his glasses off and settled on his side, tossing the cushy, powder blue blanket over his feet. He felt and heard Makkachin step up onto the couch, curling up in the blanket with a contented doggy sigh.

The baby twisted gently inside him, no longer moving so vigorously. The movement was languid, as if the baby was looking for a more comfortable position to sleep in and just couldn't find one. _I know how you feel_ , he thought ruefully, slipping his hand underneath the side of his belly and rubbing lightly with his thumb.

He felt a little worried as he heard the shower turn on through the walls. Viktor didn't usually retreat into himself like this when they argued. In fact, he was usually the one to come back and apologize first, Yuuri realized guiltily. He needed to step up and be the first this time.

His eyelids grew heavy and he drifted off into a nap, still keenly feeling the silence between them.

-

He woke a little later to a perplexingly quiet house.

He put his glasses on and slowly heaved himself into a sitting position, jumping and gasping in surprise at the strong, well-placed kick against his bladder. "Jeez, baby, have a heart, I need that," he whispered tightly. He squeezed his eyes shut in a wince as the baby rolled into his stomach uncomfortably. He was forced to sit and breathe shallowly through it until the baby moved again. He was surprised he hadn't been woken up by this much restless movement.

Once he had taken a quick trip to the bathroom, he unsteadily made his way to the bedroom door. Balancing himself with his hand on the wall, he gently eased the door open and stuck his head inside.

Viktor was curled up in the bed hugging the body pillow, completely sacked out, as if he had only had the strength to pull on a shirt and underwear before falling into the bed. Strange, he hardly ever took naps during the day.

Yuuri quietly padded to the bedside, gazing down at his sleeping fiancé. His long, silvery lashes fluttered against his pale cheeks; even in deep sleep, he looked worn out. He must have been awfully tired after practice to take a nap.

Yuuri wondered if he was hurting.

Viktor had never brought it up between them other than an offhand comment early on in their relationship("you've never had any major injuries, and you're younger than me", the words echoed in his mind), but Yuuri had followed his career for years before they met. He knew that Viktor had fallen during a competition and sustained a pretty significant knee injury when he was nineteen. It had torn a bit of connective cartilage, forcing him out of the season. Luckily, it hadn't been career ending, and had been able to be repaired with surgery, but knee injuries almost never fully healed. Viktor would carry it with him for the rest of his life.

Yuuri still caught him favoring his left knee every now and then, so he knew that it still bothered him from time to time.

He hoped it wasn't the case.

He rested his hand on the nightstand and leaned down as far as his full belly would allow him, brushing a feather-light kiss onto Viktor's forehead. He stirred a little, his brows furrowing for a moment, but didn't wake.

A slightly sad smile pulled at Yuuri's lips. _Poor baby…get some rest_. He pulled the sheets and comforter up to Viktor's shoulders to tuck him in, closing the blinds to darken the room.

He lazily wandered back to the living room, stretching his arms over his head and pursing his lips in consternation as he ran a hand through his messy hair. What he had feared would happen eventually was happening: he was bored.

Normally when he was bored, he went to the rink. However, not only was it very risky for him to skate right now, he had a feeling that skating with any semblance of grace would be next to impossible with the baby weighing him down. Though it would probably make for a rather hilarious spectacle.

There were no dishes or clothes to wash…

…the bathrooms were neat and tidy…

…hmm. _I have nothing to do_.

He sank back down onto the couch with a sigh, giving Makkachin's fur a ruffle and picking up his phone. Mindlessly scrolling through social media sounded pretty boring…

 _Oh, wait_ , he thought, sitting up straighter, _I can look for names. That's what I can do._

For the next hour, he did exactly that, after grabbing a quick snack of raspberry yogurt and granola from the fridge to satisfy the insistent demands of his unborn baby. He curled up on the couch with a pen and paper and scrolled through site after site, reading list after list of both boy and girl names, writing down the ones he liked that had nice meanings. Every now and then, he'd whisper aloud, testing the way the names sounded and felt, and Makkachin would blink sleepily at the sound of his voice.

He found a couple more boy names, but none of them felt quite as right as Chiharu did, so he scratched them out. _I think that name is here to stay_. He narrowed the list of girl names down to two or three that he liked, but though one name in particular was already standing out to him, he wanted Viktor's opinion before he got too attached.

Halfway through the second chapter of the pregnancy book he'd bought several days ago, he heard soft, slightly limping footsteps against the kitchen floor behind him. A pill bottle rattled, then a glass of most likely water was poured.

Yuuri's heart sank. He must have been right. It sounded like Viktor was taking pain medication.

Maybe that's why he had seemed irritable earlier…

 _Go on, apologize like an adult_ , his mind poked at him.

He set his book on the coffee table. It took a minute to gather his courage and his chest was full of nervous butterflies, but he finally succeeded in getting his voice to cooperate.

"…Viktor, will you come here, please?" His heart pittered nervously. His voice seemed so loud in the silence.

The footsteps drew nearer, and Viktor came around the end of the couch, his blue eyes tired and wary and his hair slightly mussed. Yuuri was distracted for a moment by how adorable he looked, rumpled and flushed from his nap, his face bathed in the hazy golden light of late afternoon.

"I…um…" words suddenly left him and he felt very small.

Viktor blinked questioningly, but didn't speak.

Yuuri hesitantly reached out, and was grateful when Viktor's hand met him halfway.

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brushed your concern off the way I did." He swallowed, frustrated to find that a lump had risen in his throat. _Can't I get through a single sentence without crying anymore_?

Viktor's eyes softened. He caught the tear that trickled down Yuuri's cheek with one finger, brushing it away. Yuuri continued, though his voice wavered. "You have every right to worry about me, and I shouldn't treat your concern so callously. I know that you worry about me because you love me, and I appreciate it. I just…hate that you have to worry about me at all. I guess it makes me feel a little guilty, and that's why I get defensive."

Viktor sighed, though there was no irritation in it. He sat down on the couch and eased them both down so that they were facing each other on their sides, cradling Yuuri in his arms. Yuuri shifted his hips sideways so that his belly wouldn't be between them and rested his cheek on Viktor's chest, relieved that he wasn't still mad.

"If anything, I should be the one saying that," Viktor said quietly, pillowing his cheek on top of Yuuri's head. "It's my fault."

Yuuri was perplexed. "What do you mean?"

"All of this…It's my fault. I'm the one who forgot to put on a condom." His voice was husky. "If I hadn't done that, you wouldn't have to go through all of this."

Yuuri stiffened. "Do you…are you saying that you regret…?" His throat constricted around the words, cutting him off.

" _No_ , Yuuri, that's not what I mean at all," Viktor said wearily, "I don't regret keeping the baby, but, just…seeing you go through all of this sickness and discomfort and pain and emotional instability…you're going through so much for me, and…it just…hurts to see you hurting and not be able to help you." His voice faltered.

Yuuri relaxed, relieved. "Viktor, you're looking at it all wrong. It's not fair of you to blame yourself like that." Yuuri's cheeks flushed. "First of all, it takes two to make a baby." Viktor gave a reluctant, conceding laugh. "Second of all, if I hadn't wanted the baby, we wouldn't have kept it. You want it, too, right?"

Viktor looked offended. "Of course I do."

"Well, then, stop beating yourself up," Yuuri said gently, "I knew what I was getting into. I knew it was going to hurt sometimes. Pregnancy isn't comfortable, but that's just part of life." He reached up to touch Viktor's cheek. "You're acting like you forced me into this or something."

"Sometimes it feels like I did," Viktor confessed quietly.

Yuuri shook his head. "You didn't. I want our baby. I love them, and you, more than anything in the world." His voice wavered on the last few words.

A thumb caressed his cheekbone. "I do, too," came the soft reply. "I just wish I could…I don't know, bear part of the burden."

Yuuri's heart filled with love. "That's sweet of you, but I'm not dying, here. A little heartburn and a heavy baby strapped to my stomach aren't the worst things in the world, you know." He pulled Viktor down for a quick kiss. "And it won't all be for nothing. We'll have a baby to show for it in the end."

Viktor's face relaxed into a smile. "Indeed we will." He gave Yuuri's stomach a pat.

Yuuri smiled back. "I'll ask the doctor if it's safe for me to fly at the next appointment. Okay?"

"Okay." Viktor lifted Yuuri's chin, pressing another soft kiss to his mouth.

For half a second, he considered opening up to Viktor about his nightmares, then the thought was gone, shoved down by insecurity.

They held each other for a little longer, savoring the closeness. Yuuri was glad that they had talked. He was beginning to get hungry again, but he didn't want to ruin the tender moment, so he could wait.

Hesitating for a moment, he spoke softly in the silence. "Viktor…are you hurting?"

After a few seconds, he could feel Viktor's shoulders slump with a resigned sigh. "A little."

Yuuri trailed his fingers in loops on Viktor's warm back. "Do you want me to get the ice pack? Or the heating pad?"

"No, thank you. It will be fine. I pushed myself a little too hard today, that's all. I'll just need to be more careful for a while." Viktor's nose rubbed into his hair, and he inhaled deeply. "You smell good."

"Viktor…"

"I'm alright, Yuuri, really." Viktor's fingers smoothed the worried lines from Yuuri's brow, and a gentle kiss was pressed to the spot. "Thank you for worrying about me, though."

"Okay…if you're sure." Yuuri tried not to worry. He knew Viktor was a bit irresponsible sometimes.

Viktor reached behind him toward the coffee table, turning the list of names with one finger. "What's this?"

Yuuri adjusted his position, snuggling his head down on Viktor's shoulder. "Oh, I've just been writing down some names. Are there any there that you like?"

Viktor picked the list up, holding it behind Yuuri's shoulder, his eyes darting back and forth, his lips moving silently.

"…What does this one mean?" He held the list where Yuuri could see, pointing to the last name on the list.

Yuuri's heart fluttered with hope. "Beautiful ocean."

"Is it pronounced how it looks?"

"Mhm."

Viktor blinked slowly, staring out the window over Yuuri's shoulder, his eyes soft and wistful, greens and blues mingling with the golden light. "…Miuna…" the sound of the name on his lips felt like a cool, comforting balm. "Miuna Nikiforova…I like that one a lot." It fell from his lips musically. It felt right.

Yuuri nodded into his chest. "I did too. I was hoping you would choose it."

"Are we in agreement, then?"

"I think so."

"Miuna it is, then. It's beautiful. Elegant, but strong." Viktor rubbed the side of Yuuri's stomach. "Are you Chiharu or Miuna, little bean?"

Yuuri felt a twitch in his womb toward his side. "I've noticed that when you talk, I feel more movement. I think they like your voice."

Viktor's eyes lit up in delight. "Oh? Do you recognize daddy's voice, _malyshka?_ Can you hear me?" His hand rubbed wide circles on Yuuri's side.

Another quick twitch, the same duration and pressure as the first, deep in Yuuri's pelvis. The movements were coming at too regular of an interval to be normal kicks. "That feels weird…"

Viktor's hand froze on his belly. "What does?"

"Wait for a second…maybe it'll happen again."

They both breathed shallowly, motionless. After a few seconds, Yuuri felt it again, the same twitchy sensation, as if…

"I think the baby may have the hiccups," he said in amusement, "I've heard of this happening."

Viktor's eyes grew large. "They can _do_ that?" He asked in wonder.

"Apparently." Yuuri felt yet another tiny jump, and he and Viktor locked eyes, their faces brightening in giddy disbelief.

"Our baby has the hiccups!" Viktor cackled, hugging Yuuri to him, "that's the most adorable thing I've ever seen!" He pressed a smacking kiss to Yuuri's cheek.

Yuuri closed one eye in a wince, unable to keep the grin off of his face. "You thing everything the baby does is the most adorable thing you've ever seen."

"It _is!"_ he insisted, "They're the cutest baby in the _world."_

Yuuri's heart warmed at the love in his voice. "Viktor, they're not even born yet."

"Still! You know with their genetics that they're going to be absolutely beautiful." Viktor snuggled his nose into Yuuri's neck with a happy sigh. "I hope they look like you."

"I think it's a safe bet. I am the vessel, after all." Yuuri smiled.

Viktor tutted disapprovingly. "There you go, talking about our baby as if they're some sort of demon again. They're right _there_ , Yuuri, it's rude." He rubbed Yuuri's stomach, speaking through an exaggerated pout. "Poor little thing. Mama talking all bad about you…"

"You would, too, if you were the one carrying it," Yuuri said dryly. "You'd be so overly dramatic about every little ache and pain."

"I would not!" Viktor exclaimed.

"You would be even more extra than you are now." Yuuri could just picture it.

"I am shocked and appalled by this unfounded statement," Viktor deadpanned.

"You can make it up to me by carrying the next baby, then," Yuuri teased.

Viktor kissed Yuuri's forehead, amusement in his voice. "Perhaps I will, just so you wouldn't have to go through all of this again. Though I doubt I would wear it so well."

"Oh, I don't know. I think it would be cute." They both laughed softly. Imagining tall, slim Viktor with a big, round baby bump was just too funny and adorable.

Yuuri relaxed into Viktor's arms, feeling drowsy. Viktor's protective scent was all around him, calming him and making him feel safe and loved.

He had nearly dropped off to sleep when he felt the baby lurch to the side, yanking a grunt of surprise from his lips.

"Can you let me have a moment of peace?" Yuuri chided, pressing his fingers into the side of his belly gently, feeling what was most likely the baby's feet underneath his fingers. The baby wiggled underneath his touch, seemingly pleased that it had drawn his attention. "Spoiled already…"

"That was…" he looked up to see Viktor staring downward, his brow creased in slight confusion. "I…I felt that."

"Huh?" Yuuri looked down as well. Their stomachs were pressed together snugly. "Oh…I suppose you did."

Viktor's hand roamed the side of Yuuri's belly, his lips parted and his eyes wide. "That was so strange." He held Yuuri close with one hand at the small of his back. The baby kicked outward against Yuuri's navel, and Viktor drew in a sharp breath. "Were those _feet?"_

A smile slowly spread across Yuuri's face at Viktor's expression. "I think so. Sometimes it's hard to tell." The baby shifted again, pressing firmly against Viktor's stomach from inside Yuuri's belly. Viktor held his free hand to his mouth, blinking rapidly.

"Is this what it feels like for you?" Viktor asked in breathless awe, sounding close to tears.

"More or less, it's probably pretty similar, yeah." Yuuri laid his head back on Viktor's chest with a sleepy sigh. "We should get up soon, I'm getting—"

"Thank you."

"Uh…what?"

Viktor's words grew softer and thicker, hushed with emotion. "Thank you, Yuuri. For caring enough about me to carry my baby." His voice broke. "Thank you f-for not aborting it, even though you thought you couldn't have children. Thank you for…for everything."

Yuuri's breath caught. His heart squeezed in his chest at the sincerity and love in Viktor's expression, his beautiful blue eyes glimmering with tears of unwavering love.

He buried his face back in Viktor's shirt to hide his own tears. "I love you so much," he mumbled shakily. He let the tears course down his face when he felt Viktor's arms tighten around him.

They stayed there for a long time, wrapped in each others arms with Makkachin at their feet, sharing the feeling of their unborn child's soft movement in Yuuri's womb.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried 392 times writing this chapter. No lie
> 
> The name Chiharu is just one that's always struck my fancy, but Miuna is the name of a sweet, lovely girl from an anime called Nagi no Asukara who has the biggest most beautiful blue eyes ever. She's precious :')
> 
> This thing is getting...long. I never planned for it to be this long at all. I hope you guys are still enjoying! You don't know how much I've enjoyed reading your comments. They give me so much life.
> 
> Thank you for the encouragement thus far! This never would have kept going if it weren't for you guys. ♡
> 
> Next chapter: Skate Canada!
> 
> Until next time! <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *crawls out from under rock*
> 
> I'm back! With...a stupidly long chapter. To make this easier, I've split it into two "parts", so just ctrl-F this little doodad: ~♡~ for part two, in case you don't have time to read it all in one go. :)
> 
> Alternatively titled "Yuuri is the most unreliable narrator ever and Viktor is v confused"
> 
> Content warning: emotionally convoluted sexy times and a fairly graphic depiction of a panic attack in the first half of this chapter. The rating is going up to explicit, as well, not necessarily just for this chapter. The rest of this fic is uh...going to get real.
> 
> I hope this was worth the wait, I'm sorry it took me so long ;;
> 
> ALSO WHAT THE FUCK 20,000 HITS. YALL. I AM NOT WORTHY. THANK YOU ;_;

_30 weeks, 2 days_

 

  
"That was much better, but you still turned inward a little bit with that left foot. That's why you stumbled."

"Yeah, yeah, got it…"

Yuuri sat cross-legged on the bench at the rink, a bag of baby carrots nestled in what was left of his lap and holding a tiny, round container of ranch dressing in one hand. He was glad he had had the mind to bring plenty of food; the hunger had swept over him so abruptly that it had almost made him sick. It was much better, now, though. Even the baby was being mercifully gentle with its movements, now that the demand for food had been met. _Spoiled brat._

Viktor and Otabek were out on the ice, helping Yuri as best they could to hone his jumps and spins. It was nice to hear Yuri's normal, "surly teenager" grumbles for a change, instead of the previous week's desperate cries of "I can't do this anymore!".

When they had first started a couple of weeks ago, Yuuri had been shocked at just how much trouble Yuri was having with his balance. Sure, he had already heard it from Otabek and Yuri himself, but seeing him fall over and over when he was normally so graceful, frustrated to the point of tears, was just…unnerving.

Now, after intense training with Viktor and Otabek, Yuri had vastly improved. After several screaming matches and many threats to quit, of course. Yuri and Viktor could really go at it when they put their minds to it, especially when they fell back into their mother tongue. Poor, mellow Otabek was often caught in the middle, his wide, dark eyes darting back and forth between the squabbling Russians.

"Much better," Viktor praised as Yuri landed a near-perfect quadruple salchow, skidding to a stop and wobbling as he did. He braced his hands on his knees, huffing to catch his breath. He looked a bit worn out, but determination and pride still glittered in his green eyes as he puffed his bangs out of his face in vain.

"Great, cause I still feel like a newborn giraffe." He wiped his forehead with his wrist.

"Your spins are improving, as well." Otabek tapped his toe pick on the ice, his hands in his pockets, "and to think, when we started all of this, you were wailing that you were broken."

"I _felt_ broken, you ass," Yuri growled with no animosity, straightening to re-ponytail his hair that was falling around his face, being extra careful with his splinted fingers. His hair was getting long. Long enough that he wore it in a sleek fishtail braid more often than not. He had pretended not to hear Yuuri compliment his braiding skills the previous day, but Yuuri had seen the flush of satisfaction on the teen's face. Viktor had told him later that he had been the one to teach Yuri how to style his hair.

"Yuuri," Viktor called, giving him a smile, "doing okay over there?"

"I'm good. Your kid isn't using my bladder as a punching bag like earlier," Yuuri answered cheerfully, nibbling on a carrot.

Viktor gave a dramatic gasp. "Being good? Are you sure that's my child in your belly?"

Yuuri cocked a brow. "Fairly sure, yes," he said in a lilting tone. Viktor's lips melted into a suggestive smirk.

"You two make me want to puke my brains out," Yuuri groaned, a scowl of disgust on his brow and curling his lip. "Can you go two seconds without eyefucking each other across the rink?"

"Yuri!" Viktor and Yuuri cried in mortified unison.

"Yura," Otabek half-laughed, half-scolded, and Yuri gave him a shove.

"You've said worse."

"Nonsense. I'm a gentleman."

"Bull _shit_."

"Get back to work and don't worry about me," Yuuri said with playful sternness, shifting his foot out from under him to massage away a cramp in his arch, "we have to go to bed early tonight, so hurry up and tire Viktor out."

They were leaving the next morning to fly to Saskatoon for the first competition in the Grand Prix series. Viktor was as excited as a child on Christmas morning for it. He had packed and unpacked his suitcase twice now, full of a level of nervous, impatient energy that Yuuri had never seen him exhibit before. He had obviously missed skating terribly in his hiatus, and couldn't wait to get back on the ice.

It made Yuuri feel guilty, thinking of Viktor denying himself something he loved so much for so long just to be some Japanese kid's coach, but he didn't dare tell Viktor that. He'd get a big, long lecture about how Viktor could make his own choices, and how he'd never regret sacrificing his own season to be Yuuri's coach.

The other skaters who were lined up against Viktor were Phichit, Chris, Otabek, Kenjirou Minami, and Leo de la Iglesia. Yuuri had been a bit amused to find out that Jean-Jacques Leroy wouldn't even be skating in his home country, and possibly a little disappointed for him. The rush of having so many of your fans in once place was indescribable, and he sort of hated that J.J. had to miss out on it this season. He knew that J.J. would probably show up anyway, bragging and strutting and showing off his lovely fiancé. He had reason to, Yuuri supposed. Isabella was a pleasant person; Yuuri had talked with her a bit at the previous Grand Prix Final Banquet, and she was well-spoken and friendly.

Viktor had, of course, still been a bit skittish of Yuuri going on the plane, but the doctor had given him a very thorough checkup earlier that day(almost _too_ thorough, Yuuri recalled with an inward cringe), and she had pronounced him and the baby fit, healthy, and ready for travel. She had cautioned Yuuri to stretch his legs often on the flight, since pregnancy upped the chances for blood clots, but other than that and the possibility of motion sickness, she was confident that Yuuri and the baby would be just fine. It had eased Viktor's mind so much, and Yuuri was glad for it.

"Oh, you'll tire me out just fine later, Yuuri," Viktor said slyly, sending him a saucy wink that spread a hot blush across Yuuri's cheeks.

Before he could scold Viktor for being shameless in public, Yuri gave a loud, exaggerated gag. "He's already pregnant enough with your demon spawn, you nympho, leave him be!"

Viktor started, seeming to realize what he'd just said. "I…sorry, Yuri, I wasn't thinking. That was improper of me. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

Yuri snorted. "I mean, I'm not that much of a prude. If it made me uncomfortable, I'd just tell you to shut the fuck up." He flipped his ponytail. "It's just obnoxious. Try to control yourself for five minutes, maybe? And you don't have to act like I don't know what sex is. I'm not a kid."

"Yuri Plisetsky, you had better not be!" Viktor stared at him with the most 'shocked parent' face Yuuri had ever seen, and Yuri waved him off impatiently with a roll of his eyes.

"God, no. Stop worrying, _mother_." He peered at Viktor, one hand held up in a confused gesture. "As if I have someone to do that shit with."

"We'd better get back to practicing, like Yuuri said," Otabek said softly. "It's getting late. I have to get up early, too, you know."

Yuuri snickered. "Yeah, God knows you need your beauty sleep."

"Yes, yes I do," Otabek deadpanned.

"Maybe it will help that resting bitch face you've got going on."

"Well, now you're just being hypocritical."

"Tch."

Yuuri re-crossed his legs, settling in for a little while longer of waiting as the three resumed their training. After getting up to walk around a couple of times, twenty minutes into his Pinterest surfing, he felt someone sit beside him, and a sharp perfume tickled his nose.

"He's doing better, isn't he?" Madame Baranovskaya's pronounced accent rose and fell on the air, and she crossed her long, elegant legs, lifting her nose and watching Yuri out on the ice. Her sleek, dark hair was pulled back in a low ponytail, rather than her usual severe bun. She wore a simple white shift dress, with an elegant tan trench coat.

"He is. They've made a lot of progress." Yuuri turned to see Yuri execute a beautiful camel spin. A surge of pride rose in his chest; Yuri had finally found his center of gravity again.

"I had my doubts about Vitya coaching, at first, you know. He's a bit flighty. Irresponsible. But I'm confident that he'll make a fine coach one day." She spoke in her typical blunt fashion, but perhaps a bit softer than usual. She seemed to be happier these days now that she and Yakov were on semi-friendly terms again.

"I know Yuri has been very grateful for everyone's help these past few weeks, even though it may not seem like it," Yuuri said, offering her a carrot, which she surprisingly took with a polite nod and nibbled on.

"Yuratchka is a stubborn boy. More stubborn than anyone I've ever taken under my tutelage before." Her pink lips quirked. "But lately, he's been maturing a bit. Dare I say it, I think the Kazakh boy is good for him, even if that exhibition stunt they pulled last year was terribly indecorous, well done as it was."

Yuuri nodded with a smile. Otabek was a good foil to Yuri's fiery temper.

Lilia folded her hands primly in her lap. "And what of you? How are you doing with your little one?"

"Oh, just fine," Yuuri assured, a bit taken aback that Lilia was being so conversational. She usually didn't pay much attention to him. "Sometimes I'm a bit uncomfortable, but I manage."

"I can imagine. How far along are you?"

"About seven and a half months now."

Lilia hummed. "Not too much longer. I imagine you're excited. Boy or girl?"

"Ah, we're keeping it a surprise."

"Mm." Lilia's catlike green eyes softened with regret. "Sometimes I catch myself wishing that I had had a child of my own." Her voice was quiet, wistful. "But I suppose it's for the best that I didn't."

A young, redheaded girl of about fourteen walked in, spotting Lilia and waving to her, calling in Russian. Lilia rose gracefully, giving Yuuri a rough pat on the shoulder. "There's my student, I must go. Take care, child." With that, she was off, her ponytail swaying against her neck and her heels clicking smartly.

Yuuri stared after her, shaking his head in wonder. She had really mellowed out over the past few months. He didn't think he'd ever had that long of a conversation with her.

He sighed with a small smile down at his belly when he felt the baby give a lazy roll, seemingly still sleepy. He hadn't felt any strong movement since that morning. While he had been searching for a shirt to wear, the baby had kicked so suddenly and sharply against his bladder that he had actually lost control of it for a second. He had doubled over and cried out from shock and more than a little pain, prompting Viktor to crash out of the bathroom with his eyes wide, wearing nothing but his boxer briefs and looking the very picture of panic. Yuuri would have laughed if he hadn't been hurting so badly.

Needless to say, the sight of Yuuri hunched over with a dark, wet spot on his pants and clutching his belly had nearly scared poor Viktor's soul right out of him, but he had sagged against the wall with relief when Yuuri reassured him that no, he wasn't in labor, and yes, the baby had actually donkey kicked him hard enough to cause a bit of an accident. Viktor had tactfully stifled his laughter, then grabbed Yuuri another pair of jeans, saving Yuuri a lot of embarrassment by dropping the subject.

Yuuri sent Viktor a sweet wink when he caught him staring over from across the rink. Viktor's eyes widened and he gave a little gasp with a hand over his heart, then blew Yuuri a kiss.

Yuuri reached out, then touched his cheek and laughed, catching the kiss.

Viktor was too cute.

Viktor's lovestruck gazing nearly landed him a collision with Yuri, who spilled out an angry stream of expletives and shoved him.

Yuuri snickered. Viktor also needed to concentrate more.

-

Later, once Viktor was almost through, Yuuri took a quick trip to the bathroom before they left, since they would need to run by the supermarket on the way home for a few things. On his way back down the hall, he heard a familiar, gruff voice from the rink area. The tone of it made him slow down before he reached the doorway, for some reason compelled to keep out of sight.

"…just wondering…going to come back as strong as you were before. You're doing better, but up until now, you've been a basket case, Vitya, and you know you have. I don't want to see this ruin what little of your career you have left." The old man's voice was weary and irritated, and it made Yuuri bristle.

Viktor's voice shot back, highly incredulous and defensive. "I love him, Yakov! He's carrying my baby, and this had been hard on him, physically and emotionally! For God's sake, let me worry! You're being horribly callous!"

"You love him a little too much, I'm thinking, and you worry about him more than is normal." Yakov's words held a bite to them that Yuuri felt like a jab to the chest. "He's holding you back because he's weak right now. It's not callous, it's thinking realistically. This is your career, Vitya, and it could be one of your last seasons. This whole situation with Katsuki could keep you from skating your best if you let it. You have sponsors to keep happy, you know, and they're not going to want to support you if you flub around this season like a lovesick schoolboy."

"I'm not flubbing around!" Viktor's voice rose over the end of Yakov's sentence, but Yakov cut him off, his voice turning angrier.

"Vitya, it's mere days before the competition, and instead of working on your own programs, you're dallying around with Yuri and his bosom friend! You used to give a shit about your skating!"

Viktor sputtered for a moment. "He needed my help! You certainly weren't giving him any! And I do give a—"

"He doesn't need as much help as you're giving him. He doesn't need to be babied. You, on the other hand, with your head full of _Katsuki_ —"

"Leave my fiancé out of this!" Yuuri felt even the baby give a startled jump inside of him as Viktor's voice thundered over Yakov's, dark and dangerous, almost territorial. He could practically smell Viktor's anger in the air.

"Your little fiancé is the whole damn problem!"

Yuuri's heart pounded against his ribcage in the resulting silence.

"My fiancé," Viktor was eerily calm, "is none of your concern, nor is my unborn child. If I ever hear you talk about him like that again, Yakov…" The sentence hung suspended, but the threat was there, icy and quiet. His tone made Yuuri's blood run cold.

Yakov was silent.

"Stay out of my personal life." Viktor swept past the doorway, visibly seething, but Yuuri had managed to duck out of sight just in time.

His brain on autopilot, he quickly retreated back to the bathroom, shutting himself in a stall and backing up against the wall, holding his forehead in his hand and staring, frozen, down at the checkered tile. His pulse thumped frantically in his throat.

He was holding Viktor back?

Him and the baby? Were they just…in the way?

Viktor had seemingly been vehement, but…what if a part of him agreed with Yakov? Yuuri had, after all, caused him to miss several days of practice because of the baby, either from sickness or being in the hospital. Viktor claimed that he always made up the time, but now, Yuuri was unsure.

Yakov was right, Viktor _worried_. He had never struck Yuuri as an anxious person before, but in the last few months, he had been extremely jumpy and overly cautious when it came to Yuuri and the baby. Anxiety was hard to deal with, and he hated that Viktor seemed to be struggling with it, especially at such a crucial time.

The whole world was eagerly watching, waiting for Viktor to make his comeback to the ice, and Yuuri could ruin everything. If something happened with the baby to keep Viktor from skating, the media would absolutely eat it up.

 _If I wasn't weighing him down, Viktor's career wouldn't have to suffer_.

He buried his face in his hands. He couldn't even cry, his throat and chest felt so numb.

 _You need to calm down,_ the little voice of rationality whispered in the back of his mind.

He took deep, measured breaths, willing away the anxiety until he could leave the stall, and even then, he was shaky on his feet. Viktor was probably wondering where he was by now, he had been gone for quite some time. He splashed water on his face at the sink, but it didn't scrub away the paleness of his cheeks or the shadows of stress around his eyes. It was pathetic how quickly his mood had taken a nosedive, how easily he had fallen into anxiety. He stared at his reflection, leaning wearily with his hands braced on the sink. Dead eyes stared back at him, forcing his gaze downward.

Viktor would know right away that something was wrong. He was a great deal more perceptive than he used to be, and if he was paying enough attention, he could read Yuuri with a single look these days. Sometimes it was almost annoying. _I've got to stop being so transparent_ … He somehow managed to school his expression into something that resembled normal.

He left the bathroom and slowly ambled down the hall, stopping once to lean against the wall and pant through a harsh movement from the baby that dug downward into his pelvis. It was the strangest thing, how the baby would move so much when his emotions spiked. It was like they could somehow sense it.

As he neared the rink area, Viktor rounded the corner, spotting Yuuri. His duffel bag was slung over his shoulder, and the tired, resigned look in his eyes scratched at Yuuri's conscience.

"You were gone for a while," he murmured as Yuuri approached, holding his hand out to take Yuuri's and give it a squeeze when they met. "Feeling alright? You're pale."

"I—" a lie formulated on his tongue before he had time to stop it "—feel a bit sick, that's all." Well, it wasn't exactly untrue. His stomach had fallen into his toes when he had overheard the conversation, and it hadn't quite made it back up yet. At least the icy chill wasn't prickling the back of his neck anymore.

"Oh, no…" Viktor looked worried, reaching up to hold Yuuri's cheek. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine. It will pass, I'm sure." His voice trembled, and Viktor's eyebrows knitted. He opened his mouth, then closed it, but he didn't question.

"Let's skip the supermarket and get you two home," he said softly, settling his warm arm around Yuuri's shoulders and pressing a kiss to his temple, "I'll make something mild to eat that won't upset your stomach."

Yuuri barely heard the small talk on the way home over his own troubled thoughts, the softly drifting snow and grey skies only heightening his discouraged mood.

He was a liability.

-

The minute they walked through the door, Makkachin flying-tackled Viktor to the ground.

"My goodness," Viktor laughed as Makkachin peppered his face with doggy kisses, his tail and back end wagging madly. "You'd think we had been gone for days." Once the poodle had received a thorough petting, he came to Yuuri, rubbing his face on Yuuri's thigh and whining happily.

Yuuri slowly knelt to pet him, tears filling his eyes. In that moment, hormones be damned, his heart ached with nostalgia. When he had been younger and had been like this, standing on the precipice of an anxiety attack, Vicchan would run to him as he huddled on the bathroom floor, the little dog's body wriggling with joy. He would cuddle up to Yuuri's chest after he had picked him up, licking his damp cheeks and burying his tiny nose in Yuuri's neck. It was like he had known Yuuri needed extra love and care when he was in that state, and Makkachin was no different.

Yuuri had managed to keep it together on the walk home, but now, the guilt was growing heavy again, undeterred by his attempts to silence it. The depressing thoughts hung around his mind like a dark cloud.

 _I'm burdening him. I'm in the way. He probably doesn't even need me_.

A small part of him knew that it was anxiety talking, but it was so hard to fight back against once it wrapped its way around his mind. It was a vicious cycle that took a great deal of strength to break out of, and Yuuri was very, very tired.

Makkachin leaned his warm body against Yuuri, licking his hand, being so gentle that Yuuri's lips quivered, unable to keep the tears from trickling down his face. Ever patient, Makkachin leaned up to lick the tears from his cheeks, and the action reminded him so much of Vicchan that a quiet, hitching sob burst from Yuuri's lips.

"Yuuri…" Viktor's voice sighed from behind him as he took off his coat and gloves, "did I do something?" His tone was soft and caring.

Yuuri sniffled, staring down at the teardrops that plipped onto the floor. "No, you're fine. I'm…just…you know how I get lately, sad for no reason." His voice cracked. God, he was a terrible liar. He scrambled for another excuse. "A-also kind of missing Vicchan."

Viktor sat down behind him, scooting close to his back and drawing him into his lap. He slipped his arms around to rest his hands on Yuuri's upper belly. "Is there anything I can do to help?" He asked quietly.

Yuuri nearly went limp with relief when Viktor accepted the half truth. "You just being here is helping. And Makka." He petted the poodle's back, feeling the soft, fluffy fur. Makkachin snuggled closer and rested his chin on Yuuri's thigh, leaning into the touch with his eyes closed in happiness.

They stayed on the floor for a few minutes, and Yuuri reluctantly let himself cry a little bit, knowing that if he didn't let it out sooner or later, it was going to end badly. Viktor never asked more questions, only rocked Yuuri slowly from side to side and pressed periodic kisses to his hair and shoulders. He knew, somehow, that he didn't even need to talk. His presence was more soothing than any words could have been. His hands roamed Yuuri's belly, tenderly cupping the swell and rubbing lightly when the baby pressed against his palms. Yuuri realized after a few minutes that the gentle touches were calming him down. The tangible feeling of Viktor's hands caressing the firm, tight bump of his stomach helped to ground him, as did the periodic kicks from their baby, as if the tiny life was reassuring him that he wasn't alone.

Eventually, the storm inside of Yuuri was beaten back. His breathing evened out, and his heart no longer felt like a rock. He sniffled away the last of his tears and wiped his eyes underneath his glasses, laying his hands over Viktor's on his stomach. "We should get up and eat something, so we can get to bed at a decent hour." Luckily, the packing had been mostly done already.

Viktor stood up behind him and stepped around, offering his hand and a soft smile. The affection in his blue eyes was clouded by the tiredness of the end of a long day, but it was there all the same, and it felt good to see. He pulled Yuuri up with ease, despite the fact that he was about fifteen or twenty pounds heavier than he used to be, and steadied him with a hand at his elbow when he swayed. His balance certainly wasn't getting any better as the weeks wore on…

"Are you sure you're alright? You still look a bit pale." Viktor's cool fingers tucked his hair behind his ear, a familiar, comforting gesture that always reminded Yuuri very much of his mother. A wave of homesickness washed over him, but he gave a faint nod.

"I'm sure I'll be fine. Don't worry, it's still normal for me to feel kinda sick every now and then." Yuuri managed a weak smile. "Not a surprise with a baby pressing all over my stomach, I don't guess." And weighing on his back, too. His back was starting to remind him just how heavy the baby was getting, a dull aching that was growing more persistent by the minute. Sitting on the bench at the rink hadn't done it any favors.

Viktor's frown faded. "I suppose that's true," he admitted, "I didn't think of it. Sorry if I'm hovering."

Yuuri leaned up and pressed a long kiss to Viktor's lips, turning his cheeks a pretty pink. "You're not. You're doing a good job of taking care of me."

_Too good a job, considering I'm dragging you down like this…_

The sad little thought scraped at the corners of Yuuri's mind, even as Viktor talked on cheerfully, pulling a cutting board and a knife out.

"How about I make you some chicken soup? It would be easy on your tummy."

_You don't deserve it._

Yuuri shoved the thought as far away as he possibly could, summoning up a smile that felt just a teensy bit fake.

"That sounds perfect."

-

Viktor was perplexed.

Yuuri being quiet could mean anything. It could mean he was tired, or hurting, or sad, or angry. He could be being truthful about missing Vicchan. He could be homesick. He could be worrying over the responsibility of being a parent, as he had been a lot lately. He could be worried about the trip tomorrow, because God knew _Viktor_ was. But try as he might, Viktor couldn't get a feel for what was bothering him.

_What's going on in that mind of yours…_

All through dinner, Yuuri seemed distracted, and his cheeks didn't have their usual pink tinge. His eyes had a faraway look in them, and it was subtle, but he looked sad and regretful. Burdened down with whatever was plaguing his thoughts.

Viktor had a feeling it was more than just missing his dog.

But he didn't push, didn't question. That was the quickest way to make Yuuri withdraw into that little shell of his when he was like this, as Viktor had unfortunately discovered early on in their relationship. Yuuri had retreated into his mind more times than Viktor could count in those first few months, running to the one place where Viktor couldn't follow. At first, it had frustrated him terribly, and he had taken it personally, but he soon learned that Yuuri did that with everyone when he was feeling anxious. He didn't mean it to be personal at all.

If Yuuri wanted to talk, he would come to Viktor. Still, though, it didn't quell Viktor's worried thoughts.

 _Was it something I did? Are you in pain and not telling me? Do you still feel sick?_ The words never made it past Viktor's lips, but he wanted so badly to voice them. He felt helpless, like he was floundering in deep water and he didn't quite remember how to make his limbs work together to swim.

Yuuri still seemed melancholy as they finished packing for their trip. The few attempts to converse were met with soft, short answers and smiles that weren't entirely genuine. The kind of smiles Yuuri gave to the public.

Those smiles made Viktor's chest hurt.

When Yuri came to the door to pick up Makkachin, even he could see that something was wrong with Yuuri. He wrapped the leash around his wrist and hefted the bag of doggy supplies over his shoulder, sending Yuuri a confused blink or two when he didn't talk much.

"I'll miss you, Makka," Yuuri said quietly as Makkachin nosed against his stomach, giving his fluffy ears gentle pets. Viktor knelt down to pet him as well, wrapping his arms around the poodle's neck and rubbing his ruff.

"Behave for uncle Yuri, boy," he whispered, kissing the top of his head, and Makkachin gave his cheek a subdued lick. He was acting like he knew they were parting, but he trusted that they would come back. Viktor always hated leaving him. It felt like a betrayal, somehow.

"Well, uh…" Yuri fumbled for words, obviously out of his comfort zone. "You'd…better do your best, old man. I want to beat your ass into the ground at the Grand Prix Final." His eyes drifted to Yuuri, then he quickly looked down. "Be careful, Katsudon. Take care of the baby."

Yuuri gestured to him, and Yuri confusedly (but surprisingly willingly) stepped forward into the side hug that was offered. When they broke apart, Yuri gently placed his hands on the sides of Yuuri's baby bump, his eyes softening. He whispered quietly in Russian, then gave the bump a pat and stepped back, his face red with embarrassment.

"Well…see ya," he muttered over his shoulder, then stalked down the steps, Makkachin trotting in front of him obediently.

"What did he say?"

The question took Viktor off guard for a moment, but he quickly recovered. A fond smile touched his lips.

"He said, 'be good for your mom and dad, baby girl.'"

Yuuri's mouth relaxed into a genuine smile for the first time that night.

As they brushed their teeth that night before bed, Yuuri surprised Viktor by leaning against him, resting his dark-haired head on Viktor's shoulder. Viktor slipped an arm around his waist, pulling his toothbrush out of his mouth and giving Yuuri a gentle smile in the mirror. Yuuri blinked his pretty brown eyes (how were his lashes so long and dark?), a small, slightly timid answering smile curving his lips. Viktor was struck by the domesticity of the moment, and it filled his heart with happy flutters. Yuuri looked so adorable leaning against him in his pajamas, fitting against his side so perfectly, toothbrush in his mouth and his baby bump rounding out the fabric of his shirt.

_So cute._

_Maybe he's just tired. I'm most likely worrying over nothing again_.

He had been better about not nagging so much lately. That was about the only thing Yakov was right about. He bristled inwardly. Nosy old codger.

Even as they climbed into bed, though, Yuuri still seemed a bit distracted, but the distant sadness in his eyes had faded. Viktor scooted up to his back and draped an arm over his torso above his belly, but Yuuri didn't snuggle back against him quite as readily as he usually did, or turn over so Viktor could feel the baby move.

He refused to take it personally. If Yuuri was mad at him, he would tell him. He was most likely just buried in his own thoughts, and that was okay.

It was.

He threaded their fingers together on Yuuri's rounded side, his throat and tongue working with the words that he wanted to say, but he held off. The last thing he wanted was to make Yuuri feel more anxious. He sighed a little, burying his nose in the back of Yuuri's neck.

 _I'm not going to get much sleep tonight_ …

Immediately after thinking it, he winced at himself. Who was he kidding, he shouldn't complain…Yuuri was the one losing the most sleep lately, over either discomfort, sickness, or nightmares. He bit his lip, haunted by the terrified, half-coherent cries Yuuri had wailed out the last time Viktor had been forced to shake him awake. He had sounded utterly heartsick. His lip trembled between his teeth, but he pressed his lips together to stop it.

Yuuri would let him in soon. He just had to believe that.

He started out of his thoughts when he felt Yuuri press a kiss to his hand, long and warm. He was even more surprised when he felt Yuuri tilt his hips back, shifting his hips and causing friction against Viktor's crotch. Viktor's brow creased in the darkness.

"Yuuri…?" He whispered, not daring to say much more.

He felt warm, silky wetness around two of his fingers, and he nearly sat up in shock. Yuuri's tongue caressed the pads of his fingers, then the warmth left, and his soft, trembling voice sent a zigzag of heat down through Viktor's belly.

"Are you tired, Viktor?"

He shifted closer, daring to rub his crotch against Yuuri's backside.

"No."

"Can we…" Yuuri trailed off.

Viktor reached down to palm Yuuri through the thin fabric of his pajama pants, and Yuuri rolled his hips into the touch. "We can," he replied lowly. His mind pointed out that it may not be the best idea, but…

"Can we do it like this…? It would be comfortable." Yuuri's voice was endearingly shy, and it melted Viktor's heart, breaking his resolve so easily that he was a little ashamed of himself.

"Of course." Viktor reached behind briefly to open the drawer of the nightstand and retrieve the lube. His fingers hesitated on the small box in the drawer. "Condom?"

"…no." Yuuri's voice was very soft, but the word was firm. It tingled in Viktor's abdomen.

"Whatever you wish."

Yuuri shimmied his pajama pants off with some difficulty because of his middle, succeeding in kicking them off of one ankle, and Viktor slid his own pants and underwear down to his mid thighs. The air was pleasantly cool on his skin. Viktor leaned over Yuuri, kissing the soft space behind his ear, and Yuuri leaned his head back, offering his lips for a full kiss. Viktor complied, running his fingers through the back of Yuuri's hair, cupping his head as gently as if he were holding a flower, and the quiet moan that Yuuri voiced into Viktor's mouth held great promise. Viktor liked kissing Yuuri _very_ much. Yuuri kissed like he skated; hesitant at first, then gradually becoming more sensual until Viktor was lost to the warm sweetness of his lips, to the taste of Yuuri's tongue against his own.

When he broke the kiss and panted, leaning back, the look in Yuuri's eyes was enough to make his head hazy with arousal. Oh, how impossibly lovely his eyes were, cinnamon irises stretching thin around his blown pupils.

As he dotted Yuuri's neck and jaw with kisses, he still couldn't shake his concern. When Yuuri was like this, he was emotionally fragile, touchy. Almost skittish, like a nervous little hummingbird, like one wrong touch or word could send him flying. It was a bit peculiar that he would want to have sex right now, but judging from the soft hums and sighs of contentment he was breathing out, he was enjoying Viktor's touch. Perhaps he needed the emotional release.

Viktor gently pulled Yuuri's shirt collar down off of his shoulder, kissing a line down the side of his throat and licking the soft skin that was beginning to heat with his blush. The resulting moan from the back of Yuuri's throat vibrated under his lips. "My sweet Yuuri," he whispered against Yuuri's scent gland, giving it a kitten lick. He could swear that he could taste Yuuri's arousal, a cool, tempting mix of something like mint and cinnamon filling his nose and mouth. He rolled his hips against Yuuri's backside in a slow grind, and he felt Yuuri's breath catch.

"Touch me," Yuuri breathed softly.

The order sent a rush of blood to Viktor's increasingly interested cock, and he obeyed, slipping his hand down between Yuuri's legs and taking hold of his firm length. He was gentle with his touch, pumping slowly up and down, feeling the slickness of precum already on Yuuri's skin. It was hot, full, already weighty and swollen in his hand, and the closed-mouth whimpers Yuuri emitted had his own cock flushed and sensitive as he slotted it between Yuuri's cheeks.

"Viktor," Yuuri pleaded helplessly, canting his hips backward, "I need to feel you, please…"

"So eager," Viktor whispered. He drizzled his fingers with lube and reached down; warmth touched his fingers when he rubbed them against Yuuri's entrance. "And so wet for me." He probably hadn't even needed lube. The smell was delicious in his lungs, so heady and tempting, filling his mouth with saliva. His cock twitched between his legs at the memory of how wonderfully sweet Yuuri had tasted when he had rimmed him, like nectar on his tongue. He definitely needed to do that again someday.

"Please," Yuuri whined again, drawing one leg up over his belly to give Viktor better access. Viktor drew in a slow breath through his nose at the sight of the tight, pink pucker of Yuuri's entrance twitching and glistening with slick, begging to be touched.

It took no time at all to prepare Yuuri; he opened to Viktor so easily, and the feeling of him so relaxed and dripping around his fingers had Viktor's heart palpitating in anticipation. He couldn't wait to be sheathed in that tight warmth.

Yuuri's back curved as he twisted his hips, trying to fuck himself back onto Viktor's fingers. "Viktor, come on…" There was the slightest edge of impatient annoyance to Yuuri's voice, and it spurred something snarky inside of Viktor.

He rubbed his erection between Yuuri's cheeks, catching the slick and sliding effortlessly, kicking up the delectable scent even more. "You want me in here?" He nudged the little lump with his fingers and Yuuri jumped in his arms, then nodded vigorously, his breath coming in short puffs.

"Get in me," Yuuri's voice broke, tight with desperation.

Viktor obediently lined up and slid into him, bottoming out in one slow thrust, and Yuuri arched his back and let out a _beautiful_ moan.

"Ohh, fuck," he whimpered out, his back rising and falling rapidly with his panting, and Viktor's stomach jumped at the expletive. Yuuri's voice was husky and low, wavering with abandon, the tone that Viktor adored so much. God, he'd bottle it and keep it if he could.

He rolled his hips once, squeezing his eyes shut at how snugly Yuuri's walls hugged him as he slid out, then in again, wrapping him in wet, velvety heat. His heart thumped vigorously in his chest.

"You feel so good, love," he rasped into Yuuri's hair, pressing a wet kiss to the back of his neck. The pheromones that clung to his throat were spicy on Viktor's tongue, filling his lungs, reaching into him and touching his soul. Even though he was topping, he still felt so stripped bare, so submissive; it felt like a hand was wrapped around his heart. It was weird, the way Yuuri could do that to him.

"I should be the one saying that," Yuuri managed a teasing tone through his huffing breaths.

He slid his hand up under Yuuri's shirt to rest it on his round side, rubbing gentle circles as he rolled his pelvis at a steady, languid pace, trying to make his thrusts as careful and sensual as possible. This wasn't about him right now, wasn't the time for rough, wild sex. This was lovemaking. He wanted Yuuri to feel relaxed, to know how very much Viktor cherished and adored him.

Apparently, he was succeeding; Yuuri was loose and pliant against him, his head tilted back to rest on Viktor's shoulder, singing out long, sweet moans that filled Viktor's chest with warmth. Occasionally, the moans would turn to gasps and little cries, soft and vulnerable, but every now and then, he threw his head back and shuddered, choking out noises that were so obscene that Viktor swore he felt all of the blood in his body drop into his cock. It felt so good to make Yuuri feel good.

"I love you," Yuuri's voice was rough with emotion, his warm hand closing over Viktor's against his belly and stroking with his thumb. "Oh, Viktor…"

Viktor kissed his neck tenderly, laving with his tongue. "I love you, too, darling," he whispered against the smooth skin, meaning that simple phrase more than anything he'd ever said in his life.

In moments like this, Viktor felt so close to him. Like their skin was the only thing keeping them from becoming one whole person. That odd, strangely pleasant tug deep in his chest was present again, like Yuuri's heart was pulling on his own, their souls feeding off of each other and creating a hum of invisible energy in between.

Yuuri's mouth had fallen open, and the side of his face that was visible to Viktor was pinched with pleasure, a peachy flush decorating his cheekbone. He was periodically holding his breath, forcing it out in deep, strained huffs, and sweat was beginning to bead on his temple. He was getting there, but not quite yet.

Viktor gently coaxed Yuuri's leg up from where it had fallen with one hand under his knee, holding it up against his side and over his belly. He adjusted his position and resumed thrusting, angling his hips just so, and Yuuri immediately arched his back and let out a wet, startled grunt. _There we go_ … He reached a good bit deeper this way, and he knew that Yuuri liked it deep.

He picked up his pace, his breathing quickening and his heart beating a staccato rhythm against his ribs. Every nerve from his torso to his knees was humming, muscles beginning to burn and tighten in that delicious way. That familiar, confusing cocktail of possessiveness and submission writhed in his torso, like his body didn't know whether it wanted him to keep thrusting into Yuuri or beg Yuuri to take _him_. The mental image of Yuuri, as heavily pregnant as he already was, fucking Viktor into the bed…

It did things to him. Things he'd never readily admit.

Yuuri panted harshly, his breath stuttering with every thrust. Viktor mouthed a hot kiss against Yuuri's throat, and he could feel the blood thumping rapidly through the pulse point against his lips. The physical proof of Yuuri's desperation. The feeling sent a shock of pleasure up his spine.

 _"H-hai, aah—"_ the hoarse Japanese that streamed from Yuuri's lips closed Viktor's throat off; he sounded on the verge of tears. _"Motto hayaku—nghh—o-onegai, Viktoru!"_

He quickly sped up, pressing his mouth against the back of Yuuri's neck, drinking in the sharp scent of impending orgasm. He heard Yuuri cough out something that sounded an awful lot like a sob.

"I've got you, baby," he panted, reaching up to brush Yuuri's nipple with his thumb and earning a hitching squeak, "I love your voice so much…"

Yuuri was tense with restraint, the muscles of his thigh quaking underneath Viktor's hand and his toes curling. "Close," he forced out in a whisper.

Nearing to his own limit, Viktor reached around and closed his hand around Yuuri's cock, giving him a few gentle tugs, pressing his thumb into the slit that was wet with precum. Yuuri squirmed wildly, and watery, trembling words spilled from his lips, somewhere between a whisper and a scream.

"Oh, oh, God…o- _oh—"_ Yuuri's back bowed and he locked up, his eyes wide and unfocused. Viktor felt Yuuri's release spurt into his fist, warm and sticky, and he let out a strangled grunt at the slow, vicelike grip of Yuuri's insides constricting around him, squeezing him rhythmically and forcibly dragging his own orgasm from him. He sank his teeth into the meat of Yuuri's shoulder, tightening his arms around his chest as he seized up and came with an abrupt shudder. His cock spasmed deep within Yuuri, pumping thick ropes of cum into him, and he felt Yuuri tense a bit more and gasp, turning his face into the pillow and holding his breath.

Viktor came down from the high and exhaled deeply, catching his breath, and Yuuri panted shallowly in his arms. That was the first time in a long time that Yuuri had come first, though Viktor had definitely cheated. He winced when he saw the indentations on Yuuri's shoulder, blood pooling just beneath the surface and darkening. He pressed his lips to it in a silent apology.

"I th-think," Yuuri said shakily, his voice a bit high-pitched, "we should probably shower. I'm not sure I can sleep if I'm all sweaty."

"Agreed." Viktor propped on one elbow and reached for the tissues, giving a few to Yuuri and cleaning up his own hand. He leafed another out of the box and gently pulled out, making sure the bed didn't get soiled.

He helped Yuuri sit up, noticing that he was trembling slightly. His face was a strange mixture of pale and flushed, but Viktor only caught a glimpse before Yuuri turned away.

"Would you mind terribly if I showered on my own?"

Viktor sat all the way up at that, his stomach dropping at Yuuri's tone. Something about it was...off, just enough to make Viktor uneasy.

"Are you…did I do something to upset—" he touched the teeth marks on Yuuri's shoulder, feeling slightly panicked. "Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have bitten you—"

Yuuri's posture was tense. "No, no, I promise, you didn't hurt me. It's not you, I just…I need a little…alone time."

Sirens and red lights blared in Viktor's mind. Yuuri never liked being alone after sex. He sometimes experienced adrenaline drops afterward, and Viktor knew that they made him anxious.

He reached out to run his fingers down the back of Yuuri's hair. "Yuuri, what's wrong?" His throat felt constricted.

Yuuri shook his head a bit stiffly, squaring his shoulders. "N-nothing, I just…it will be faster if we do it separately, you know?" Yuuri's back was turned, but Viktor could hear as clear as day that his voice was thick and tight, as if he were crying.

Viktor's heart cramped in his chest. "Yuuri, you're scaring me." He tried to keep his own voice from trembling.

Yuuri quickly spoke again. "I promise, it's nothing you've done, okay? It's just me, not you. I'm not mad or anything, just…I need some space. Just for a little while."

Viktor was terribly confused, but nodded with a soft "okay". Yuuri stood up and wobbled to the dresser, pulling out a clean pair of pajamas and boxer briefs, then he retreated to the bathroom and shut the door.

A lump rose in Viktor's throat, but he did the same, heading for the guest bathroom.

Yuuri wouldn't lie to him, he told himself over and over. Whatever was happening wasn't his fault, but something just…wasn't quite right.

As he turned on the water in the shower and stepped in, his heart wounded and bewildered, he hoped and prayed that Yuuri could work through whatever was wrong on his own.

-

Once Viktor's footsteps died away, adrenaline exploded through Yuuri's veins with the force of a freight train.

 _Fuck…oh,_ fuck _, no, no, no…_

He frantically peeled his shirt off, stumbling into the shower and yanking the faucet on to drown out the pained gasps that he couldn't contain any longer.

_No, God, oh, please, please…come on, don't do this…_

The muscles of his uterus were still rigid and strained. Like a rubber band was wrapped tightly around his middle.

His heart banged against his ribcage so hard that his vision wavered with every beat. He couldn't hold his hands still. Tears pricked his eyes and he squeezed them shut, sliding his back down the shower wall and panting out rapid puffs through pursed lips. He curled in on himself and wrapped his arms around his protruding stomach as best he could.

 _Is this a contraction? Am I in labor?_ his thoughts whirled madly in his head, drowning out all rational thought, _It's too early! I can't be in labor! I…I could ruin everything for Viktor tomorrow!_

More importantly, he realized with a sucking gasp, at their appointment this morning, the baby had been head up.

If he gave birth right now, it might be breech.

_The baby could die._

The breath whooshed from his lungs as if his chest had been smacked with something heavy.

 _Please no, please no, please no, please no…_ He moved his lips silently, repeating the thought over and over, hugging his belly and shaking like a leaf. He wasn't _ready_ to give birth. It scared the ever-loving daylights out of him. The thought of having to push his tiny, helpless baby out of his birth canal and into the world ten weeks early made him sick, oh, _God_ , it made him want to—

He hunched to the side and weakly threw up into the drain, only serving to hinder his breathing even more. His vision was going dark and squiggly at the edges; the blood had rushed out of his head, and his fingertips were numb. Icy fingers dragged from his spine up to the back of his neck. He swayed dangerously, even while sitting.

 _Take deep breaths, get your head between your legs if you can_ , the steps cycled mechanically through his mind. Doing the latter was out of the question, but he managed to compromise, resting his weight on one hip and turning his belly to the side so that he could press his forehead to the shower floor.

_Deep breath…breathe in for four seconds, breathe out for eight…_

With warm water beating on his back, he slowly worked himself down from the panic attack, repeating the instructions in his mind and pushing away all other thought.

 _I can do this. I can do this_.

Strangely, his belly never relaxed. It stayed taut, even after he managed to calm himself down, the adrenaline drop leaving him clammy and lightheaded and still vaguely nauseous. He pushed himself up against the wall and cupped his hands to catch water to rinse his mouth with, then sat there cradling his stomach, breathing slowly and not daring to move. He rubbed the heel of his hand on his temple, growing less afraid and more perplexed.

_What's going on…?_

He forced himself to think logically, raking his fingers through his now sopping hair to push it off of his forehead. If he was in labor, the contraction would have lasted around a minute. That's what the doctor had told him earlier that day. Whatever this was, it was much longer, less of a true _pain_ and more of a weird discomfort. The fear had added a lot to how painful it had seemed, and now that the haze of panic was gone, he realized that it wasn't that bad, just tight and uncomfortable. He felt nothing in his back, either, and he'd been informed that, statistically, the vast majority of laboring male omegas felt their contractions in their backs.

He pressed his fingers into his belly, confused at the unusual hardness and resistance he was met with. It felt like he was pressing on his forehead.

An errant thought flitted through his mind, something the doctor had said he may start experiencing soon.

He rubbed his forehead frustratedly; what were they called again? It was a name. A proper name…it started with a B.

Brax…

Braxton…something.

"Braxton Hicks," he breathed the words out, letting his head fall back against the wall. Tears streamed down his face, and he gave a soft, shaky laugh that turned into sobs, holding his hand over his mouth and sending up a silent prayer of thanks. The relief was almost crushing, it was so immense.

He wasn't in labor. This was a practice contraction, like what the doctor had told him about. It had to be; it felt exactly how she had described it would feel.

Now that he thought back several months, he vaguely remembered being on the examination table in the hospital, half delirious, experiencing an _actual_ preterm labor contraction. It had felt distinctly different than this, significantly painful even through the stupor of fever that had shrouded him; it had felt like a simultaneous stab to the back and front. There was no way what he had just experienced was a real contraction.

Even now, it was going away. His muscles were beginning to relax, and he felt a perturbed kick from the baby against his stomach, as if they were displeased that they had been woken up by their home getting tighter. He rested a trembling hand on his belly, his heartbeat finally slowing to a more normal speed.

"Sorry about that," he whispered down at the bump and sniffled, smiling when he felt the press of the baby's head underneath his palm.

He stood on shaky legs, holding his breath and steadying himself with the shower rod. His shoulders relaxed when nothing else happened. He leaned his forehead against the tile of the shower wall, taking slow, measured breaths to chase away any remnants of anxiety.

Once he was completely calm, he made quick work of washing up and getting out, giving an amused frown down at his belly when the towel refused to wrap all the way around it. He hastily dried his hair and slipped his boxer briefs and pajamas on, shivering, feeling a bit nervous.

_Should I tell Viktor?_

If he did, he would worry. If he didn't…he'd probably still worry.

He leaned against the wall and weighed the options, linking his fingers under his belly to support it and keep the strain off of his back. If he told Viktor, he may insist on Yuuri going to the hospital. Their flight for Canada left at six the next morning. They'd never make it if they went to the hospital.

If he didn't, Viktor would probably think he had just been mad at him for some reason, and his feelings would be hurt. Hell, his feelings were _already_ hurt, Yuuri thought with a self-deprecating cringe; the quiet tremble in Viktor's voice had spoken volumes. Though, now that Yuuri was calmed down, he could assure Viktor that it wasn't the case, that it wasn't his fault, and it would be more believable.

He reluctantly decided to hold off on telling him, at least until they had returned from Skate Canada. He wanted Viktor to be able to focus on the competition, and he couldn't do that if he was worrying himself to death over Yuuri experiencing false labor. When the time was right, he would calmly explain to Viktor what was happening, and that it was completely normal, and everything would be fine.

Perfectly fine.

Taking a deep breath, he eased the door open and padded back to the bed, pressing his knuckles in between his shoulder blades. Viktor hadn't returned yet, so he crawled into bed and settled back in, propped up with the heating pad behind his back to soothe away the ache. He drank a good bit of the water from his glass beside the bed, remembering that he needed to stay hydrated since he had been sick. The baby was still wiggling away in his belly, much softer now; apparently he had been forgiven for disturbing them. It was still so weird to see and feel his skin being pressed up from the inside. It made him feel a bit like a balloon.

He reached for his phone and accessed Google, tapping out his symptoms, and sure enough, that had been a Braxton Hicks contraction, or his name wasn't Katsuki Yuuri. It was his body's way of preparing to give birth, which was…kind of unnerving, but it was comforting to know that it was normal. He was surprised (and a little embarrassed) to find that they could be triggered by orgasm. _So that's why it happened_ … What awful timing that had been.

Viktor walked through the door a few minutes later. His expression was cautious as he rounded the bed, sitting down and drawing his long legs up onto the mattress. His lips parted, then closed again, his blue eyes greyed with worry.

"Yuuri, are you…?" He trailed off, and Yuuri could tell that he wanted to reach out and touch him, but he was being cautious, terribly so.

"I'm fine now," Yuuri assured, reaching for Viktor's hand and giving it a squeeze. "I'm sorry I scared you, I didn't mean to." The discouraging thoughts from before still itched in his mind, but he was calm enough to hold them back now.

Viktor blinked a bit confusedly, but nodded, scooting close and wrapping an arm around Yuuri's shoulders. "Was it something I did? When we were…did I hurt you somehow…?"

Yuuri waved his hand hastily. "Oh, no, trust me, it wasn't that. It was just me being silly. I handled it."

Viktor's face softened, and his fingers combed through Yuuri's damp, clean hair. "I'm proud of you, sweetheart." He pressed a kiss to Yuuri's nose.

 _You'd be less proud if you knew if was fibbing_. He somehow managed to keep a straight face. He leaned his head on Viktor's chest, grunting when the baby rolled over and caught a foot on his ribs. "Really, baby? I have to sleep tonight," he sighed.

Viktor chuckled. "Sounds like someone isn't sleepy." He rubbed Yuuri's belly, and Yuuri felt the baby kick up against his hand. "Go to sleep, _lapochka_ , mama needs rest."

Yuuri smiled, resting his hand over Viktor's. "At least I'm sleepy." He stifled a yawn.

Viktor gave him a squeeze and released him, and they both scooted downward on the bed. Viktor settled on his back, while Yuuri snuggled up to him on his side, tucked his head into the crook of his neck, and carefully lifted his belly up to partially rest on Viktor's abdomen. It was a sleeping position they had recently adopted after Viktor had felt the baby move against his stomach. He loved being able to feel even a fraction of what Yuuri always felt, and Yuuri loved sharing the feeling with him. It felt so intimate, bonding with their tiny son or daughter before they were even born. So precious.

"I don't want to get up at the crack of dawn tomorrow." Yuuri yawned again and rubbed his eyes, suddenly finding it hard to keep them open. The stress and physical exertion had left him a bit weak.

Viktor's hand rubbed in absent circles on his stomach. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Yuuri hummed with a nod. "Positive."

The wrinkle of worry on Viktor's brow smoothed out. "Alright. Good night, my love," he pressed a kiss to Yuuri's forehead, "sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams to you, too," Yuuri sighed out with a smile, letting his eyes drift shut.

He was out in minutes.

-

_30 weeks, 3 days_

 

In the middle of the flight, he had another one.

Weeks ago, Viktor had insisted on paying for first class seating, since Yuuri would have more leg room that way. Yuuri had protested, appalled at the unnecessary extra expense, but Viktor had put his foot down. However, once he was on the flight and in the comfortable, spacious seat by the isle, he was glad that he hasn't argued too much.

He had remembered to take a doctor-approved motion sickness medicine before boarding the flight, and it worked like a charm. He didn't feel the slightest dizziness when they took off. The St. Petersburg skyline grew smaller and smaller beneath them until it couldn't be seen anymore.

To his surprise, Otabek was on the flight as well, across the isle from them, of all things. Yuuri was beginning to have a familial fondness for Yuri's best friend; he'd been a bit skeptical after Yuri's exhibition performance the previous year, but now, seeing how close the two had become, he was glad that Otabek had stuck around. He was a good kid. Yuuri was ready to see his skating again.

The first half of the flight, he had napped comfortably, kicked back in his seat with a blanket thrown over him. He had slept fairly restfully the night before, but he still had no trouble getting more sleep. Viktor had read a book, resting one hand on Yuuri's knee and crossing his legs. They had had lunch, then dinner a few hours later, and the food had been surprisingly tasty.

At around seven p.m. by his watch's time, Yuuri had been dozing quietly when he felt the muscles of his uterus slowly pull tight, creating the same deep, dull ache from the previous night.

His brow creased and he sat up, pressing his hand to his side and finding it rigid. His heartbeat quickened, but he reminded himself to stay calm. _This is a false contraction. It's just practice._

He glanced at Viktor, giving a quiet, shuddering sigh of relief when he saw that he was sound asleep, his book resting on his chest.

Yuuri closed his eyes and focused on breathing in and out slowly, wincing slightly when his muscles tightened even more. _You're okay, you're okay_ … The tightness made breathing feel a little more difficult than normal, but this time, with prior experience under his belt, he was able to keep the panic at bay.

He felt a light touch on his shoulder, and opened his eyes to see Otabek leaning over him, alarm in his dark eyes.

"Are you okay?" He whispered.

Yuuri nodded and managed a half smile through the discomfort, bouncing his leg to distract from the strange feeling of his belly being hard as a rock. "False contraction," he whispered back, closing his eyes briefly again, "not actual labor, but not very comfortable." He slowly let his breath out through his pursed lips.

Otabek's mouth formed an 'o' of understanding. "I remember my mother complaining about those when she was carrying my sister. Hers were pretty bad, though."

"This isn't too bad, but thanks for worrying about me," Yuuri murmured, keeping his voice down.

"Sure. You just looked like you were in pain, so…" Otabek rubbed the back of his neck, giving a small smile.

Yuuri returned the smile with a nod, and Otabek returned to his seat.

Viktor, of course, chose that moment to wake up, rubbing his eyes and blinking blearily. He quickly jerked up when he saw Yuuri hunched over his belly with his hands braced on his knees.

"Yuuri, what's happening?" His blue eyes were wide and he was getting ready to panic, all traces of sleep erased.

Yuuri shook his head, grateful that the pain wasn't pinching his voice anymore. "Baby's really active, that's all." Once again, it wasn't quite a lie. The baby had been quiet for the first half of the flight, but now the little thing was kicking with a vengeance, and it was starting to genuinely hurt.

Viktor slowly relaxed, but he still looked a little worried. Yuuri patted his hand, inwardly dying of relief when the last vestiges of the contraction faded away.

"I'm just fine. Cross my heart." He leaned to kiss the tip of Viktor's nose, earning a cute blush.

"Okay…if you're sure."

He breathed through another sharp inward twist. "I'm sure. Might wanna tell your kid to calm down, though, I kinda need my internal organs."

Viktor patted the bump, clucking his tongue. "Calm down in there, please," he singsonged, leaning down to drop a quick kiss on Yuuri's upper belly, "mama needs a break, little bean."

Yuuri gave an inward sigh. Viktor hadn't pressed him.

He didn't miss the raised eyebrow of suspicion Otabek gave him when Viktor wasn't looking, though.

The rest of the flight was uneventful. When they _finally_ landed at the airport, Yuuri was relieved. Seventeen hours on a plane could drive just about anyone crazy. He could hear the beds at the hotel calling his name already.

They said their goodbyes to Otabek at the baggage claim, as he would be heading to a different hotel than them, and wished him luck in the next day's short program skate.

It was bewildering to think that they had left St. Petersburg that same day. Yuuri glanced at his phone; it had reset itself to the right time zone, and it was now two p.m. It would be about eleven p.m. in St. Petersburg, twelve hours ahead of their current time. Time zones never failed to mess him up. It was much wamer, too; around forty-one degrees Fahrenheit, as opposed to the twenty-five of St. Petersburg. They had escaped the cold snap just in time.

They skillfully avoided the press, turning down the pleas for photo opportunities and interviews with apologetic smiles, and took a cab to their hotel, which was a convenient four miles away.

They were staying at the Delta Hotels Bessborough, a historic castle that had been refurbished as a lavish hotel, complete with a beautiful lakeside view and stunning architecture. Viktor had picked the hotel, as he had stayed there before and loved it. Yuuri craned his neck and gazed up at the tall spires of the castle as they stepped out of the taxi. It was such an elegant old building.

"Want me to carry your bag?" Viktor asked as they approached the front door, giving a wave and a wink to the paparazzi as the cameras flashed. At least they had been fairly polite paparazzi so far, only taking pictures from afar. A couple of them even smiled and waved back.

"I can handle it, but thank you," Yuuri assured. Viktor raised his eyebrow and gave a cryptic smile, taking the handle of Yuuri's rolling suitcase from him anyway.

"You may want to have your hands free," he said slyly.

Yuuri blinked confusedly. "What do you…" as they walked through the front door, he spotted someone that made him draw in a gasp. He was leaned against the front desk, chatting with the receptionist, his dark eyebrows expressive and his tanned face friendly.

Yuuri's eyes welled up.

"Phichit!" he cried, and his best friend's gaze darted to him, eyes widening and expression lighting up in that smile that was like a brilliant ray of sunlight.

"Yuuri!" He pushed off of the desk and broke into a run, dodging people as he did, and Yuuri met him halfway, though he jogged rather than ran. Phichit slowed down before he reached Yuuri, probably remembering to be gentle, and they threw their arms around each other in a tight hug.

"I missed you," Yuuri half-laughed, half-sobbed into Phichit's shoulder, reveling in his best friend's comforting, familiar scent. He smelled like old times, like home away from home.

Phichit's hands rubbed up and down his back, his cheek pressed to Yuuri's. "Aw, don't cry, you're gonna make me cry, too." He drew back, wiping Yuuri's cheeks and cradling his face, looking close to tears himself. "Let me look at you! God, I missed you, too, so much. It feels like fifty years since I've seen you. Been doing okay?"

"I've been fine, as fine as I can be," Yuuri said through a watery laugh, sniffling. "Trying to hold out for a couple more months."

Phichit's face softened. "Not too much longer, now," he encouraged, looking down at Yuuri's belly with a smile. "Baby's getting big."

"I _know_ , isn't it ridiculous?" Yuuri framed his belly with his hands. "I feel like I've swallowed a basketball, and I'm not even done yet."

"Well, you're glowing, and don't you dare think otherwise."

"That's what I keep telling him," Viktor said amusedly as he approached. He had hung back out of respect; he knew how very close the two were. "But he insists that he isn't." Phichit tugged him into a welcoming embrace as well, and Yuuri could see the pleased surprise on Viktor's face as he returned it.

Yuuri scoffed. "You wouldn't exactly feel gorgeous with this much extra weight on your stomach, either," he said with a laugh, holding his side at the sudden movement from the baby. "Phichit, quick, give me your hand."

"Moving?" Phichit asked in a hushed, excited tone. Yuuri took his hand and held it to his right side, and after a moment, the baby wiggled again. Phichit sucked in a gasp. " _Wow_ ," he whispered, kneeling down to eye level with the bump and holding it gently between his hands. Yuuri felt the baby squirm again, and Phichit's grey eyes filled with tears. "I've waited so long to feel that." He gave a wobbly smile up at Yuuri. "Strong already."

"You have no idea," Yuuri groaned, "I got kicked so hard yesterday morning that I actually Googled 'can a unborn baby break through your skin.'"

Phichit cringed as he stood. "That mental image is not one that I needed."

"I'm with you there."

They checked in and parted with Phichit to cart their luggage to their room, a ridiculously posh suite with a city view and a huge whirlpool tub. The soft, powder blue carpet and taupe walls felt very welcoming and warm, as did the gigantic king-sized bed.

Yuuri gazed around the room, feeling a little out of place. This was probably the fanciest hotel room he'd ever been in. "Viktor, did we really need all this space? This room is huge." He ran his fingers along the soft, tan fabric of the couch.

Viktor looked over his shoulder from the closet, where he was hanging up his costumes. "I wanted you to be able to walk around if you needed to."

The simple, considerate answer poked at Yuuri's conscience. "This is so much, though. How much does this room even cost per night…?"

Viktor turned fully around, crossing the room and pressing a kiss to Yuuri's forehead. "Don't worry about that. Rest assured, I can afford it."

"That's not the point," he protested weakly, fingering the fabric of Viktor's jacket and frowning, "I feel like you're going to too much trouble to spoil me."

"Why, yes, that is exactly what I'm doing," Viktor said cheerfully, "but it's no trouble. You deserve to be spoiled every now and then, you know. I don't do it because I feel like I have to. It's because I want to. I enjoy making you comfortable, in any way I can. Like you said, pregnancy isn't comfortable, after all." Viktor winked. "Also because I wanted a king bed, and the regular guest rooms were booked."

"People are going to start thinking you're my sugar daddy or something," Yuuri muttered.

Viktor held a cheeky finger to his lips. "Hey, maybe I'm okay with that."

"Viktor."

"Joking, dear."

Yuuri sighed exasperatedly, unable to stop the smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth. "Alright…" he padded to the bed, slipping his shoes off and sitting down with a huff. "I appreciate it. It really is a nice room." He was very tempted to curl up and take a nap, despite having slept a few hours ago.

Viktor peered through the curtains down the sprawling city. "Nice view…" he turned back. "Chris texted me a little while ago, asking if I wanted to come try the spa. He claims that it's heavenly. I think I'll hold off for now, though."

"Oh, he's staying here, too?" It felt a bit like a class reunion. "Go on, I know you're eager to catch up with him. I think I'll stay here and take a quick nap." He yawned.

Viktor's brow wrinkled. "I don't want to leave you here alone."

Yuuri started to protest, but stopped just short of it. Viktor had a point. The baby was healthy and out of danger for now, but he supposed anything could happen.

He brightened. "Would you feel better if Phichit came and stayed with me?"

The frown faded from Viktor's face. "Yes, actually. That would be fine, if he's able. If he isn't, I can wait, though."

Of course, though, when Yuuri called Phichit, he immediately agreed to stay with Yuuri while Viktor went to find Chris, just to keep an eye on him while he slept. He promised to head to their room in a few minutes.

"I feel like a walking time bomb already," Yuuri muttered as he swiped to hang up, "I can't even imagine what it's going to be like in a few weeks. Everyone is tiptoeing around me like I'm made of sugar."

"Well, you are sweet." Viktor leaned down to peck him on the lips, licking his own when he drew back. "Mmm…deliciously so."

Yuuri snorted, shaking his head, and pulled Viktor down for a longer kiss. When their lips parted, Viktor looked him up and down.

"Feeling alright?"

"Fine, just tired and jet lagged. Baby's quiet, thank goodness. I think I'll actually be able to get a little sleep." Yuuri reached over and knocked on the wooden side table, then snuggled up to the plush pillows with a long sigh. Viktor leaned down to kiss him on top of the head.

"Go ahead and sleep. I'll wait until Phichit gets here to leave."

"Alright," Yuuri murmured, letting his tired eyes drift shut. The comfortable coolness of the room and Viktor's fingers stroking his hair soon lulled him to sleep.

-

A voice reached down through the seemingly endless loop of blood and pain, yanking Yuuri to the surface of consciousness so fast that his head reeled.

"Yuuri, oh my God," the voice broke, pleading. Hands were on his face, cradling it gently. "Please, wake up. You're dreaming, it's not real." The face came into hazy focus, but even without his glasses, he knew it wasn't Viktor this time, and it dropped his stomach like a rock.

Phichit's face flooded with relief as Yuuri blinked rapidly, feeling cold wetness on his face. "Thank God, you scared the shit outta me…" his best friend's eyes were full of worry. "You were crying in your sleep, I had a little trouble getting you to wake up."

Yuuri went limp, covering his eyes in shame. His face scrunched up with the effort of staving off more embarrassing tears. Really? He had to bother Phichit with this, too?

"You're okay now…" Phichit's hand smoothed up and down his arm. "Do you need me to go get Viktor?"

"No," Yuuri choked out, uncovering his eyes and shaking his head wildly. Ooh. He squeezed his eyes shut again. Bad idea. "Please, don't bother him with this, he's dealt with me enough lately…"

"Yuuri." He reluctantly looked up, and Phichit's grey eyes were wary. "How long has this been going on?"

Yuuri sniffled and half-sighed, half-whimpered. He should have known he couldn't keep anything from Phichit, he was terrifyingly perceptive. "Um…" he offered weakly.

Phichit closed his eyes and gave a sad sigh. "Oh, Yuuri…" he eased down onto the bed, coaxing Yuuri into a loose hug. Yuuri buried his face in Phichit's shirt, his lips trembling. "Have you told Viktor?"

Yuuri barked out a laugh that made Phichit jump. "I had no choice. The first time he caught me in the middle of one, I panicked and got so sick that I scared several years off of his life."

"The first time he _caught_ you, huh?" Phichit deadpanned, and Yuuri tensed guiltily. "Exactly how long has this been happening?"

Yuuri shut his eyes tightly, trying to banish the gruesome images from his thoughts. He couldn't lie to Phichit. "R-remember when I was in the hospital…? After I n-nearly lost the…"

Phichit was silent for a moment. "Yuuri," he murmured, "that was, like…three months ago."

Yuuri just nodded listlessly.

His stomach clenched with guilt. Why had this had to happen _now?_ Instead of relaxing before the competition, now Phichit was having to worry about Yuuri. Was there anything he couldn't ruin? Could he be any more of a burden?

Phichit's hand rubbed his back. "You've been having them this whole time?" Yuuri nodded again. "How often?"

"A few times a week," he confessed quietly. At least it didn't seem like he would be sick this time…

Phichit made an incredulous noise. " _Yuuri_." His voice was sorrowful. He didn't say anything else, only held Yuuri close.

Yuuri bitterly cursed himself for dragging Phichit into this. He didn't deserve to have to deal with it any more than Viktor did. He had comforted Yuuri more times than he could count when they had been in college. He had been the one to drag Yuuri out of the depths of depression and encourage him to not give up, even though there were days when Yuuri wanted everything to just…stop. To not be there anymore. Phichit was loyal to a fault, and Yuuri was repaying him by giving him emotional baggage that wasn't even his.

"I can feel you thinking some bullshit," Phichit raised a brow down at Yuuri, "it better not be what I'm thinking it is."

Yuuri ducked his head, ashamed that he was so easily read. "Sorry…"

"Don't apologize. Just don't put yourself down. You deserve just as much love as anyone else." Phichit nudged Yuuri's gaze up to his own with fingers under his chin. "Okay?"

Yuuri sniffled, reluctantly nodding. It wouldn't do any good to argue. Phichit always won that argument. He sat up with a bit of effort, cringing when his back ached fiercely with the movement. He must have slept on it wrong yet again. It was already hurting pretty badly from the plane.

"You alright?" Phichit's hand rested on his shoulder.

Yuuri nodded, crossing his legs under him and leaning back on his hands. "Back's hurting." He sighed up at the ceiling, trying to ignore the pain. His breathing was a little restricted; the baby had been pressed upward for a while now, squishing his lungs slightly. He tried not to let the feeling make him too anxious. The baby would move eventually.

"I hate that for you." Phichit leaned his elbows on his knees, fondness in his eyes. "It's so weird to see you pregnant."

"Believe me, it's weird to _be_ pregnant." Yuuri gave a resigned sigh at his swollen belly. It was big enough to take up most of his lap now. He leaned back against the pillows to free his hands, laying them on his sides. "Feels kinda surreal, even now. Like it's a dream."

"A good dream, I hope." Phichit's smile was a little concerned.

"…Yeah…it is." Yuuri's lip quivered as the familiar ache of love welled up in his chest. "Sometimes I just…cry. Because I love the baby so much. That's probably dumb..."

"It's not." Phichit gave his stomach a pat. "You have a little human in there. They're going to call you mom, or dad. That's definitely something to shed a few happy tears over."

"Probably mom, or mama." Yuuri smiled softly, gazing down at the mound. "I mean…I'm carrying a baby in my womb. I'm going to give birth to them. If that doesn't make me a mother, I don't know what does. I like the sound of it, too." Imagining a little boy or girl calling him 'mama' made tears pool in his eyes. God, he loved this baby.

"You're going to be an awesome mama, then." Phichit's smile was gentle. "I'm so happy to see you happy."

Yuuri opened his mouth to reply, but instead, his eyes widened at the sudden tightening of his uterine muscles, cutting off what he was going to say. Phichit snapped to attention, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Yuuri?"

He shook his head and leaned over, squeezing his eyes shut. Sure enough, when he pressed his fingers into his lower belly, it barely gave under the pressure.

"Yuuri, what's going on?" Phichit's voice rose in panic, and Yuuri fumbled for his friend's hand to give himself something to hold onto.

"Contraction," he managed to force out, and Phichit made a choking noise.

 _"Contraction?!"_ He half-shrieked, scrambling to pick up his phone.

"No, wait, don't call anyone," Yuuri waved his other hand frantically, "it's a—"

Phichit's eyes bugged out. "What do you mean 'don't call'!? If you're in labor, y—"

"Phichit, no, it's just a—"

Phichit barreled over him, voice cracking. "Yuuri, if you're having a contraction, you nee—"

"Will you calm down and listen to me?" Yuuri huffed out, whining from the discomfort, "it's a _false_ contraction."

Phichit sputtered. "What the fresh hell is a _false_ contraction?"

"It's just something that happens at this point," Yuuri groaned, moving his hand to his upper belly and wincing. "Getting my muscles ready. I'm not in labor, trust me."

Phichit fell sideways onto the bed, gasping out a relieved noise. "God dammit, Yuuri, I just nearly died!"

"Sorry!"

They looked at each other for a moment in silence.

Yuuri couldn't contain the hysterical giggle that bubbled up in his chest, and they both burst out guffawing and holding their sides.

"You can't just tell me that so calmly!" Phichit barely got the high-pitched words out through his mad laughter, "Oh, hey, yeah, Phichit, just having a contraction here, ho-hum! Nothing to worry about!"

"I didn't mean for it to sound like that!" Yuuri screamed into a pillow, shaking with laughter. His belly protested at the further muscle strain. "Ow, ow, oh, hurts to laugh…" Phichit patted him on the back in sympathy, still unable to stop laughing. The contraction was a long one, a whopping five minutes, and by the time it ended, they were still giggling periodically. Yuuri flopped onto his back and let out a long sigh. "I needed that…"

Phichit wiped a tear from his eye. "Same. I've had the competition jitters all day, but that made me feel a lot better."

"You don't have to be nervous, you'll do wonderfully." Yuuri jerked and gave a punched-out grunt as the baby turned over abruptly. "Jeez, I just can't get a break…" the little mischief maker did it again, this time catching what was probably a foot on the bottom of his ribs and making him suck in a breath and whimper out a series of pained 'ah's.' " _Crap_ , that felt awful."

Phichit gazed at his baby bump a bit worriedly. "What happened?"

Yuuri's belly rose and fell in a sigh. "Foot caught on my ribs." He rubbed his lowest rib on his right side, hissing. "Made it a little sore…" The baby lurched up under his ribs again and he bit the inside of his cheek to keep from making another sound. He pulled his shirt up to his chest, baring his stomach. "Watch," he said, his voice tight. It took a few seconds, but the baby gave another sudden turn, shifting his entire belly to one side.

"Holy _shit_ ," Phichit breathed out, rested his hand just beneath Yuuri's stretched-thin navel, "that's terrifying. And also awesome."

"Right?"

"And it sticks out so far, with you laying flat like this."

"Don't remind me," Yuuri groaned, moving his hand to his lower belly, "it's only going to get bigger, and I'm not sure how mentally prepared for that I am…" Because he was slightly short-waisted, the baby really had nowhere to go but outward.

Phichit laughed. "At least baby is healthy and strong. And you wear it well, anyway." The baby shifted against his hand again, and he made another awed sound as he watched the baby turn over. "That is just crazy."

Yuuri breathed in as much as he could, letting it out in a strained chuckle. "When I said it looked like an alien a few weeks ago, Viktor got so offended. He's never seen Alien."

"I thought you were marrying a man of culture," Phichit said in mock horror.

"I'm gonna try to get him to watch it one of these days."

"Good man."

Yuuri rolled his shirt back down over his belly, sighing contentedly. He felt significantly lighter after laughing. It really was the best medicine. Though, his mind nudged, he was going to have to open up to Viktor about his worries and dreams sooner or later. Even though Yuuri had good intentions, he knew that Viktor worried more than was probably healthy. It was hurting him, Yuuri could tell, for Yuuri to be keeping it from him.

He propped back on the pillows and settled down. He was starting to feel groggy again. "I hate to, but would you mind if I slept a little more?"

"Of course not. I have nowhere to be, and you're probably still jet lagged to hell." Phichit propped up as well, giving Yuuri's leg a pat. "Sleep."

Yuuri smiled, reaching over to squeeze Phichit's hand. "Thanks, Peach."

"Don't mention it. Get some good rest, little mama."

 _Hopefully that was the last nightmare I'll have for a while._ Refusing to let the images torment him further, he shoved them to the back of his mind and instead focused on the coming competition. He wondered when Viktor would skate the next day, and what songs and costumes the others had chosen…man, Viktor was going to look so pretty dancing across the ice in his costumes…

He drifted off with a smile on his lips, and no more nightmares plagued him.

~♡~

Some time later, he awoke to a dim room. The lamp had been turned down, and the glow of the city lights shone softly through the window. Someone had taken care to drape a soft blanket over him.

He heard low voices talking in the sitting area, the rise and fall of Viktor's familiar tone and the crisp, quiet cadence of Chris' Swiss accent.

He glanced at his phone. It was seven p.m. A note from Phichit rested on the other side of the bed.

_Night buddy, sweet dreams tonight. See you tomorrow ^_^_

_~Phichit_

He smiled at the familiar, hasty-but-somehow-neat handwriting. Bracing himself with his hands, he pushed himself into a sitting position and gasped out a strained noise when his back twinged sharply, taking his breath away. He leaned over and hung his head, trying to stretch out the cramp and not having much luck.

"Aah…sounds like your sleeping beauty is awake, Viktor." Chris' words were colored with fondness.

Viktor rounded the corner a few seconds later, sitting down on the bed, his brow pinched. "Your back still hurting you?" He asked softly, rubbing up and down Yuuri's spine.

Yuuri nodded and closed his eyes, his breath shortened by the ache. "Pretty bad," he confessed, his voice low. Viktor made a sympathetic sound, leaning to rest his cheek against Yuuri's temple. Yuuri nuzzled into the touch, trying to breathe deeply. It felt like there was a sharp fist pressed into the small of his back.

Padding footsteps approached and the bed dipped down. Yuuri looked up to see Chris sitting beside him, his smile marred a bit by the concerned crease on his brow.

"Hey, Chris," Yuuri said with a weak smile, leaning into the side hug he gave. His soft, unobtrusive scent was calming, always such a contrast to his bold, flirtatious personality.

"Great to see you again, cutie. It's been too long," Chris said softly, giving Yuuri's shoulders a very gentle squeeze.

"Yeah, I…kinda hate that I'm not skating with you guys this season, but…"

Chris waved his hand. "Nonsense. I'd do the same, were I in your position, but I lack the parts." He gave a teasing wink, and Yuuri breathed a quiet laugh.

"Sometimes I wish I did, believe me. Especially here lately."

Chris cooed through a pout, rubbing comforting circles on Yuuri's shoulders. "You poor thing. How much longer do you have?"

"You make it sound like he's dying, Chris," Viktor said with a reproachful laugh. Chris scoffed at him.

Yuuri sighed. "A little less than two months, now. I'm due on December nineteenth."

Chris whistled. "Wow. Nine days after the Final ends."

"Yeah, seems that way…" a ripple of apprehension traveled down Yuuri's spine. "Just hope baby doesn't decide they want out early, or late, even."

"Due dates are tricky things, that's what the doctor told us," Viktor said, scooting behind Yuuri and crossing his legs. "Are you hurting too badly for me to rub your back, love?"

Yuuri gave his head a little shake. "I don't think so. It may help." He felt apologetic. He hadn't meant to be a bother.

Chris gave Yuuri's shoulder a pat and stood. "I'll leave you two to rest. I need to get to bed myself, long plane rides don't count as beauty sleep, you know." He clapped Viktor on the shoulder and they shared a grin. "I'll be expecting nothing but the best out of you tomorrow, old man. I want to beat you fair and square."

"I'll hold you to that." Viktor quirked a playful brow.

Chris left the room with a jaunty backward wave, leaving the two in the quiet. The soft, muted sounds of city traffic drifted from below. Yuuri focused on the pinpricks of lights scattered across the cityscape like glittering jewels, a weighty melancholy filling his chest. The last time they'd been in a hotel like this, they had had a huge fight after Yuuri had told Viktor he was retiring. A part of him was glad he hadn't, but a tiny fraction was just a little frustrated that he had to sit out the very next season after all of his big talk at the Final.

Viktor's hand touched between his shoulder blades. "Where does it hurt," he murmured. The low, peaceful timbre of his voice sounded nice in the relative silence.

Yuuri shifted carefully, squeezing his eyes shut, and folded his legs underneath himself, parting his knees around his belly and leaning over again. It still felt bizarre to only be able to hunch over so far before the tight fullness of his womb pressing into his stomach stopped him. "Mostly in my lower back, but kinda between my shoulders, too…I think I strained it on the plane. Or I don't know…maybe it's just because my belly is getting heavier." Heavy enough to rest on the bed between his thighs.

Viktor kissed the back of his shoulder. "Okay. Just tell me if I'm hurting you."

Strong, gentle hands kneaded his lower back, and he couldn't stop himself from jumping at the pressure on his sore muscles. Viktor worked his thumbs in circles, pressing into the skin lining Yuuri's spine. It sent jolts of pain through his nerves, and a soft grunt worked its way out of his throat.

"Yuuri?" Viktor slowed his touch, sounding hesitant.

He tiredly shook his head. "It's just going to hurt at first, Viktor, it will work out eventually."

He felt the resigned worry behind him like a tangible aura, but Viktor resumed, massaging his back with utmost tenderness. It gradually became less painful and more relaxing, soothing the deep ache and letting the tension drain from his body. He sighed in relief as Viktor rubbed firmly in between his shoulder blades, Viktor's calming scent and the comfortable atmosphere in the room easing away his pain.

"Did you ever think we would be here?" The question made him open his eyes. Viktor's voice was relaxed, and Yuuri could tell he was smiling.

"What do you mean?" He inquired in the same tone.

"Just…where we are now. As close as we are. Engaged to be married. You, pregnant with our first baby."

Yuuri's smile softened. "Never in a thousand years."

Viktor rubbed his shoulders. "Well, I'm glad I beat those odds, then."

"I'm glad, too." Yuuri looked down at the soft, white bedding. "And…even though it hurts sometimes, I'm so glad we kept the baby. I…I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. Not even skating this season." He rubbed his belly, feeling the lazy squirm of the baby. Such a strange, wonderful feeling.

Viktor exhaled a quiet laugh. "And I wouldn't trade either of you for all of the gold in the world." He leaned forward to rest his forehead on Yuuri's shoulder. "As far as I'm concerned, I won gold the moment I fell in love with you."

Yuuri's lip trembled, but he smiled through it. "I think you've got that backwards," he whispered.

Viktor shook his head. "I don't at all, _solnyshko_."

Yuuri's heart fluttered.

"I love you," he whispered, turning around, and Viktor gently gathered him into his lap, resting his hand on his belly. "So much."

"I love you, my Yuuri. Both of you." Viktor's lips pressed against Yuuri's lower lip, then his cupid's bow, and Yuuri tucked his blushing face into the crook of Viktor's neck. He couldn't handle it when Viktor was so sweet and loving like that, it made his heart jump around.

They sat silently for a little while, Viktor gently rocking Yuuri (and the baby, he joked) in his arms, his long, slender fingers playing with Yuuri's hair. Yuuri rested his hand over Viktor's heart, feeling the soft, sturdy thumping under his palm. He said a silent prayer of thanks that he had the privilege to feel it.

 _Open up to him_ , his mind whispered, but he quashed it down. He wasn't about to ruin this.

Instead, he broke the silence to voice something he'd been thinking a lot about lately.

"Viktor?"

"Mm?"

He hesitated for a second, feeling nervous. "What were your parents' names? If…if you don't mind me asking."

The silence thickened, and Yuuri was afraid he had stepped on thin ice.

Viktor finally spoke. "My father's name was Fyodor. My mother's, Aleksandra." The accented names rolled off of his tongue softly, effortlessly. He gave a quiet sigh. "It's been a very long time since I heard those names."

Yuuri reached to take his hand and press it to his lips. "They're beautiful names. I like them." They sounded strong and kind.

Viktor's eyes held a faraway sadness, but he smiled. "Why do you ask?"

Yuuri swallowed, gathering his courage and hoping that this wouldn't upset Viktor.

"What would you say to the baby having a middle name?"

He could feel Viktor's breath catch. A hand came up to cup his cheek.

"Do you mean you want…?" His voice broke, as if he couldn't believe Yuuri would offer something of such magnitude.

Yuuri fiddled with his ring. "I…I know 'Chiharu Fyodor' and 'Miuna Aleksandra' are kind of mouthfuls, but…I'd like to. If it's okay with you. I know it's not really traditional, but…"

Viktor drew in a shaky breath through his nose. "Yuuri, they would be…so unspeakably honored, were they still with us." Yuuri could tell his throat was tight with suppressed tears. He pressed a long kiss to Yuuri's hair. "I would love that." A lone tear fell down Viktor's cheek, and Yuuri reached up to catch it with one finger, then leaned up and pressed a light kiss to the spot where it had been.

"I'm glad. I only wish I could have met them." Yuuri's heart felt heavy. What must it be like, to not have the strong support of your father, to not be able to hug your mother whenever you wanted? He couldn't imagine it.

"I know they would have adored you," Viktor sniffled and reached down to rest a protective hand on Yuuri's side, "and the baby. They would have been thrilled to be grandparents again. They spoiled my niece and nephew rotten."

That's right…Viktor's sister had kids. Yuuri hoped he would get the chance to meet them one day.

He was about to ask where she lived, but his growling stomach interrupted him. A blush rose on his cheeks, and Viktor hummed.

"Someone is hungry." Yuuri grumbled a little, burying his face back in Viktor's neck. Viktor gave a cooing laugh. "Hungry and grumpy, my my. Let's just order room service and eat here, yes? I know you're exhausted."

It was unfortunately true. No matter how much sleep he got lately, he was still dog tired by the end of the day. Though, he supposed growing a tiny human inside his belly was excuse enough to be a little worn out.

He nodded into Viktor's soft jacket, his eyes slipping shut. "I just want to sleep, I don't even want to eat…"

"Well, you're going to, baby needs it. Coach's orders." Viktor patted his belly.

"Aren't I more of the coach figure this time around?" Yuuri asked playfully, leaning back to see Viktor's eyes dancing with amusement.

"Mm, I suppose you can be my coach, just this once." Their lips met in a brief kiss, then Viktor leaned back, one corner of his mouth quirking. "Though, at least to my knowledge, a student has never gotten their coach pregnant."

Yuuri's face burned with a sudden realization. "Everyone is going to see me."

Viktor blinked, thrown off. "What?"

"This will be the first time I'll really be seen in the public skating scene since we made the announcement." Yuuri swallowed. "I guess I'm a little nervous." Try as he might to ignore it, he knew that there was a small fraction of Viktor's more… _enthusiastic_ fans that viewed the baby as a ploy to steal Viktor from the ice, as horrible of a suggestion as it was. He'd probably be hounded for interviews and photos by the press, as well. They would ask him invasive questions.

And, truth be told, being this pregnant was almost kind of…embarrassing. The ever-growing baby bump made him a little clumsy, and not that he was ashamed of the baby, but it was a bit like holding up a sign that said "I had unprotected sex with Viktor Nikiforov". Which…

…well, actually, he wasn't very ashamed of that, either. Still, it wasn't fun having a group of people hate you simply because they were jealous.

Viktor brushed Yuuri's hair off of his forehead, planting a kiss there. "Yuuri, I can truthfully say that I'm _glad_ they'll see you. They'll see the physical proof that I love you with my whole heart." He gave Yuuri's bump a pat, then his voice dropped lower. "At this point, I think anyone would have to be blind to not see how scandalously in love with you I am."

Yuuri reveled in the words, despite the feverish blush that lit his face. "I'm just thinking too much, I guess. I shouldn't do that." His stomach growled loudly again, and he sighed down at it. "Always demanding food…"

Viktor reached for his phone. "Right. Food."

As he ordered their dinner, Yuuri allowed himself to study Viktor's face, half bathed in the city lights from the window. His clear, blue-green eyes that could be so sexy they could melt ice one minute and be charmingly sweet and innocent the next. The pale curve of his neck, rising up to meet his slender jawline. The way he would hold his fingers to his lips when he was watching or listening intently. The lovely smile on his heart-shaped lips.

Yuuri was so in love.

Viktor noticed him staring, and once he had hung up the phone, he raised his eyebrows. "What is it?"

"Just looking at how beautiful you are," Yuuri answered honestly.

Viktor's blush was utterly adorable.

-

_30 weeks, 4 days_

 

The smell of the crisp, chilly air and the low lighting of the Evraz Place skating arena filled Yuuri's veins with nostalgia and excitement. That smell was childhood, adolescence, and adulthood all rolled into one, accompanied by the low buzz of people milling about and chattering, and the clacks and shreds of the contestants' skates on the clear, shiny ice. He could feel the anticipation in the air, sharp and electric. Fans from all over the world would turn out today in support of their favorites.

He stood at the barrier, resting his elbows on the divider and watching Viktor warm up. Even the few simple jumps that he did to warm up were beautiful. Yuuri could tell that some of the younger skaters were a little intimidated to be sharing the ice with the legendary Viktor Nikiforov. He knew their apprehension far too well, wincing as he recalled his own fears of losing.

The icy air blowing off of the rink made his cheeks ruddy and his nose cold. He tucked the cushy grey scarf he was wearing (at Viktor's insistence) around his neck a little better, and the breath he exhaled hung around his mouth like a small cloud. He'd forgotten just how cold it could be at a rink if your body temperature wasn't raised by the exertion of skating. Luckily, Viktor had lent him one of his "coach's jackets", as he called it, a classy black trench coat that probably cost more than all of Yuuri's clothes combined. Even though he couldn't button it in the front, he was glad he had it; it was extremely comfortable and warm. He made up for the exposure to his belly by wearing a thick sweater underneath the jacket, blue to match his glasses, paired with the comfy black maternity jeans they had found in a happy accident. Viktor had told him the outfit looked adorable on him, but, of course, he thought that about everything. Yuuri could wear a trash bag and Viktor would still think he was gorgeous.

After some protests from the officials that were silenced by a few charming winks and nods from Viktor, they managed to get him access to the coach's area, so he could wait for Viktor and go with him to the kiss and cry. He was glad they had allowed it. It really was sort of like he was Viktor's coach.

Minami caught his eye out on the ice and waved madly, his face lighting up in a million-watt smile, and Yuuri couldn't help but return it. The kid's enthusiasm was always so contagious. He had to be excited; this was the biggest competition he'd been in so far. Yuuri would make sure to cheer as loud as he could when he skated.

Viktor had gotten third in line in the draw; Leo and Minami would skate before him, then Phichit, Otabek, and finally Chris. Yuuri's stomach was full of nervous energy already, and he wasn't even the one skating.

He noticed Yakov giving him a sideways glance when Viktor gave him a wink from out on the ice, but he chose to ignore it.

The call soon rang out over their heads for the skaters to vacate the ice, and one by one they stepped off to prepare to skate. Yuuri gave them all words of good luck as they stepped off, handing Viktor his skate guards, and they all chuckled.

"We have a personal cheerleader, it seems," Phichit said with a laugh, giving Yuuri a quick hug after slipping his own skate guards on.

"And such a cute one. Or should I say a cute two?" Chris chuckled, giving Yuuri's belly a gentle pat. Yuuri gave him a mock glare through his smile.

"Might as well rub it for good luck while you're at it," he said with faux annoyance, and Viktor pulled him to his side in a one armed hug.

"Hey, now, you're my good luck charm, not theirs." Viktor kissed the top of Yuuri's head, and he hummed out a laugh, despite the incessant, crunchy snapping of camera shutters from a few feet away. Viktor must have sensed his unease, because he leaned down. "Let them look, my love," Viktor whispered in his ear, "let them be jealous that we belong to each other. Don't pay them any mind." Yuuri nodded with a muted smile.

"Do you want me to come back and help you stretch?"

Viktor breathed a laugh after a second, when he realized Yuuri was being sly. "I'd love it, darling, but I don't think I'd make it back out here in time." He leaned to whisper again, his breath warm against Yuuri's ear. "Stay and watch the others. I know you want to see Minami skate. I won't be long."

Yuuri rubbed the zipper of Viktor's jacket with his thumb, trying not to imagine slowly taking it off for him. "Okay. Remember to stretch your knee well, okay?"

"I will." Viktor kissed his cheek and gave him a sweet smile, then he was off for the practice room with the others. Minami and Leo stayed behind.

Minami twiddled his thumbs, looking excited and nervous to be around so many older figure skaters. Yuuri gave him a smile, and he returned it, his face relaxing.

"Nervous?" Yuuri asked him, and the boy nodded, his shock of red bangs bobbing.

"Very. But also really hype, too. I've practiced so hard for this." Minami cracked his knuckles, looking jittery, watching Leo step out onto the ice. "Good luck!" He called through his cupped hands, and Leo gave him a thumbs up. Yuuri could tell that Minami was about to jump out of his skin.

"If you're nervous, it always helped me to listen to music and stretch in the back. I couldn't sit out here and watch right before my performance, it would have driven me nuts with anxiety."

Minami took a deep breath. "Yeah…yeah. I think I'll do that. Thanks, Yuuri!" He hurried off, just as Leo's name boomed over the loudspeakers and the crowd erupted into applause.

"Please welcome our first skater of the day, Leo de la Iglesia of America. His theme for this season is 'determination'."

His performance was upbeat and lively, with catchy [music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ya2U8XN_Zw) and a snazzy red costume to match, and he soon had the audience clapping along as he skated. His spins and step sequences were right on the money. He touched down on a couple of his jumps, but all in all, it was a very solid performance, evidenced by the audience going nuts as he struck his final pose.

Minami came back looking considerably calmer as they were announcing Leo's scores, and Yuuri saw his coach giving him a last minute pep talk as he shed his jacket and handed it to her. His costume was a blue and white top that hugged his small, lean build rather well, glittering with rhinestones.

 _"Ganbatte, Minami-kun!"_ Yuuri shouted as the teen skated a few rounds, waving to the audience's cheers. He was obviously becoming a fan favorite among skating fans; the stadium had filled with Japanese flags, and it made Yuuri's heart glad. Minami waved at him, then took his beginning pose. The nervousness seemed to fall away from his expression as he closed his eyes and breathed out slowly. The commentator spoke again.

"Next up is Kenjirou Minami of Japan, newly turned eighteen years old. His theme for this season is 'growth'. He has said that he is determined to qualify for the Grand Prix Final this year."

The [music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_v_4UHe7d7k) took Yuuri by surprise. It was more low key than the previous performance he had witnessed last year. Minami raised his hand and spun in time with the soft piano and expressive bass, an expression of longing on his petite features. Violin sang out the melody, and it was so beautiful that chills raised on Yuuri's arms.

As Minami skated, Yuuri could tell that he was serious when he had said he had practiced a lot. His jumps and spins were much more defined and skillful, and his step sequences were near flawless. His skating had matured so much in just a year.

Yuuri wasn't trying to be vain, but Minami's skating, especially the step sequences, was definitely influenced by his own. The way he carried himself through the program reminded Yuuri very much of his younger self. It made him feel proud, not in a cocky way, but in that…he had inspired this kid. He was one of Minami's reasons to skate. Minami had loved Yuuri's skating enough to model his program after it. It was an honor.

Minami struck his final pose to wild applause. He had landed all of his jumps. The look on his face was a cross between elation and utter disbelief as he covered his mouth, and Yuuri was certain that he saw tears in the boy's eyes.

It was nothing compared to Minami's expression when he saw his score at the kiss and cry: he had exceeded his personal best by a long shot. His face blanched and he quickly hid it in his coach's shoulder as she embraced him tightly, and Yuuri could see his shoulders shaking. Tears filled his own eyes.

"You look like a proud parent," Viktor's voice sounded in his ear, and he turned to see that teasing, heart-shaped smile.

"I feel like one," he said truthfully, and Viktor took his hand so he could stand without difficulty. He heard cameras clicking, but he ignored them. "Are you ready to skate for us?"

Viktor's eyes softened in that loving way.

"More than ready."

He allowed Yuuri to unzip his jacket so he could shrug out of it, revealing the beautiful maroon of his costume. The jewels and rhinestones on the neck, wrists, and shoulders sparkled in the stadium lights, and Yuuri's breath caught at the sight.

Viktor was stunning. Radiant.

"Like what you see?" Viktor asked in a low voice, and Yuuri blushed.

"Yes."

Yakov gave a grunt from a few feet away and waved Viktor over, probably to give him a pep talk, and Yuuri stifled laughter as his fiancé sighed and trudged off. Viktor looked a bit like a child whose parent had just called them in for a scolding.

He couldn't understand the Russian that Yakov spoke, but it sounded angry. Viktor's face was schooled into that impassive, slightly cold smile. The one reserved for public appearances.

The smile that turned genuine when he turned back to Yuuri.

As Viktor removed his skate guards and stepped onto the ice, he turned to lean against the divider.

"Yuuri."

"Yes?"

Viktor beckoned him with a tug on his hand, and suddenly their foreheads were touching. Cameras snapped and flashed all around them, but all Yuuri was focused on was his fiancé's winter blue irises drilling into his own gaze.

Viktor's breath warmed his lips. "Don't ever take your eyes off of me," he murmured, and the words sent goosebumps skittering along Yuuri's arms.

Yuuri nodded breathlessly, and Viktor was off.

The applause was deafening. He made a couple of laps as the commentator spoke, waving to the screaming crowd as the stadium was overtaken by Russian flags.

"I'm sure everyone has been eager to see this; next up is Viktor Nikiforov of Russia. His theme this season is 'love and family', which he says is inspired by his fiancé. Mr. Nikiforov's fellow skater and fiancé, Yuuri Katsuki of Japan, is here to support Mr. Nikiforov as he skates today, having taken the season off due to pregnancy. The couple is expecting their first baby this December."

Yuuri winced inwardly at being mentioned, but gave the camera a smile and waved anyway.

Viktor circled until he was in the middle of the rink, and before he took his beginning pose, he blew Yuuri a kiss. The rink erupted in "aww's" that made Yuuri's face burn, but regardless, he reached out to catch the kiss, holding it to his cheek with a smile and resting his other hand on his belly.

_Skate beautifully for us, Vitya._

The opening [note](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lev_URMzpMQ&app=desktop) resounded.

-

Oh, how he had _missed this._

Electricity zapped through his veins. He soared across the ice, weightless.

The first jump…a quad flip. As effortless as taking a breath.

He had never heard such thunderous applause in his life.

This was what he was made for.

The piano and orchestra lifted him up as he spun, filled his chest with longing. The pleasant burn of his thigh as he lifted it into a one-handed Biellmann was like coming home.

He moved into the step sequence, leaning into his movements with wistful purpose, every turn of his ankle and tilt of his head telling a story of love and loss.

She would watch him skate, every time. Her shining platinum hair falling around her slender shoulders, or piled in a loose bun. Her eyes, playful. Deep pools of green.

_Are you watching now, mama?_

He pursed his lips through the catch foot layback spin, closing his eyes against the sudden ache in his heart.

He had been surrounded by love all of his life. From his mother, his father, his sister.

Then cruel fate had taken two of them, and love had been unattainable for a very long time.

Then Yuuri had come along and taught him how to love again.

Tears pricked his eyes and nose as he lowered himself to one knee and spun, then stood out of it and lifted his right hand to Yuuri.

_When I truly met you that day at the onsen, I found purpose again._

The glimpse of Yuuri's teary face brought a smile to his lips.

The second half of the program represented his life once Yuuri had joined him. Light, airy. Full of love and joy and laughter, but not without pain.

Their first kiss. Their first time.

Their first fight.

Many nights, staying up talking about nothing at all.

Lazy mornings spent together, their bodies heated and damp against each other.

Days of practice together that they had thought would last several years, until the staggering news that Yuuri had conceived their miracle baby.

He fought to keep control over his expression as he remembered Yuuri nearly losing the baby. Then, the overwhelming gratitude when they learned that the baby was safe.

Yuuri, standing at the edge of the rink now, belly round with their baby, his expression lit up in a proud smile.

_You've given me so very much._

_How can I ever repay you…?_

He soared into the last jump combination, a quad lutz, then a triple salchow. The landing was so easy that he felt like he was still flying.

 _I can't wait to marry you, my Yuuri_ …

He glanced at Yuuri to see that he was holding one hand over his mouth, tears streaming down his face, and Viktor couldn't stop his own tears in time.

The old Viktor would have never let himself cry during a performance.

As he went into the final spin, his cheeks were cold and wet.

 _I love you_.

He held his left hand over his heart and reached out to Yuuri with his right, and Yuuri reached back.

-

Amidst the deafening applause, Yuuri tried to hold his tears in, but failed miserably. _Goddamn hormones…_ He didn't even care that he was full-on sobbing at this point; he had _never_ seen Viktor skate like that before, not even in practice. Had he been holding back this whole time?

He hurried to the steps near the kiss and cry, and he saw Viktor skating toward him as if his life depended on their reunion. He was reminded of their first kiss, when Viktor had run for his life and tackled him onto the ice.

He opened his arms to Viktor, as Viktor had to him.

Viktor looked like he wanted to knock Yuuri over with a hug, but he knew that he couldn't. Instead, he carefully stepped off of the ice and plucked Yuuri's glasses from his face, then wrapped Yuuri in his strong arms, being considerate of the baby as he did.

Yuuri buried his face in Viktor's chest and wished he would never let go.

"Viktor, that was…" he struggled to speak through his tears, knowing Viktor probably couldn't hear him too well anyway, "you were perfect, you were so _beautiful_."

A soft kiss was pressed to the top of his head, then Viktor gently eased him back so that he could kiss the tears from Yuuri's face. "All for you, Yuuri," he said softly against Yuuri's ear, slipping his glasses back onto his face.

Yuuri leaned against him as they sat in the kiss and cry, cameras in their faces, waiting for Viktor's score. Yakov was quite silent on Viktor's other side, and Yuuri couldn't help but feel a tiny bit smug, as petty as it was.

_Guess I'm not such a distraction, after all._

Despite his embarrassment, he waved to the cameras and smiled, purposefully resting his hand on his prominent bump and mouthing a "hi kaa-san". Viktor noticed and formed his fingers into a half heart on Yuuri's belly, and Yuuri held the other half to it with a bashful laugh. Cameras strobed around them, but for once, he found that he genuinely didn't mind.

The world needed to know how much he loved his fiancé and baby.

The announcer's voice boomed across the stadium, and their gazes snapped to the scoreboard as the audience lost their minds. Viktor sucked in a gasp, and Yuuri's eyes slowly widened.

"Oh, my God," he cried.

118.58.

Zero point two points higher than the world record that Yuri had set in Barcelona.

They threw their arms around each other, Viktor laughing and Yuuri half-laughing, half-crying, barely hearing each other over the shrieks of the audience.

"Yurio is going to kill me," Viktor hollered through his laughter, and Yuuri had to agree. Yuri would be _furious_ that Viktor had broke his record again.

Viktor released Yuuri temporarily to crush Yakov in a hug, and the old man rolled his eyes and blustered, but he patted Viktor on the back nonetheless. He wasn't as mad as he was making out to be, Yuuri thought amusedly. He looked very pleased.

Yuuri tugged Viktor into a chaste kiss, blocking the whistles and applause out of his mind. "I'm so proud of you," he said when they parted, and Viktor dropped another kiss on his forehead.

"Your support means so much to me, love," Viktor replied, his eyes twinkling.

"Yuri isn't here to say it, so I will: get out of the kiss and cry already, lovebirds!" Chris' teasing words somehow broke through the applause still going on all around them, and they hastily obeyed, arm in arm, to go find seats to watch the rest of the skaters perform. Yuuri pulled Phichit into a quick hug and wished him good luck as they passed by.

Phichit was just stepping down onto the ice as they sat down, dressed in a sparkling, strappy black and silver costume and getting last minute encouragement from Celestino. Despite the lingering craziness from Viktor's performance, Phichit still garnered a huge response as he skated out onto the ice, waving and grinning. He was a very popular skater.

"Next up is Phichit Chulanont of Thailand. He has chosen 'maturity' as his theme this season, and he has said that he aims to break out of his comfort zone with this short program."

The performance was definitely different than what Phichit was normally comfortable with. He had admitted as much when he discussed his short program music with Yuuri all those months ago. Still, Yuuri had encouraged him to do what he felt was right, and Phichit had joked that he was aiming to channel some "eros" of his own.

It was playful and tastefully provocative. Phichit got into character well, lowering his lined eyelids suggestively and running his fingers through his hair as the [music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tVmLQFedxc) started. Yuuri glanced around to see that the audience was already enthralled.

Phichit gave his all in his performance, but he fell out of one of his jumps, and Yuuri could see the frustration in his face after he had done it.

"Oh, no…looks like there were enough rotations in that jump, though."

Even though he had fallen, he didn't give up. No, his efforts redoubled.

By the time he struck his final pose, the audience was screaming his name.

A lump rose in Yuuri's throat. He was so proud he felt like his chest could burst. Because Phichit had fallen, his score wasn't perfect, but it was still respectable, and very near his personal best.

Otabek came after Phichit, clad in deep green and blue. He stepped onto the ice and began circling, and as Yuuri raised his hands to his mouth to shout a " _davai_ ", he was startled out of it by the now-familiar feeling of a Braxton Hicks contraction.

Oh, _great_. Why now, when he was in public?

He tightened his hand on his knee. _Okay, don't panic, just…just_ … his brain didn't seem to want to work properly. He clenched his jaw, fighting to keep his expression neutral. It wasn't bad, as usual, but it was still uncomfortable enough to restrict his breathing and make his heart pound.

Could he walk right now without hunching over? Maybe, maybe not. He pressed his fingers into his upper belly. It was ridiculously hard, considering how fairly pliable it normally was. He would have marveled if it hadn't felt so weird and awful.

"Yuuri, is something wrong?" Viktor touched his arm, blinking those pretty blue eyes in concern. Yuuri bit the inside of his lower lip hard enough to taste copper, but he managed to keep his expression from showing it.

He took a steadying breath.

_Be honest with him. He deserves to know._

His throat tightened, betraying him at the last second.

"My back is hurting, that's all."

 _Coward_.

At least his voice had sounded relatively normal.

Viktor frowned sympathetically. "I'm sorry, love," Viktor wrapped an arm around him, and he leaned into the embrace. "Anything I can do?"

"No, no, it's…it will go away. It always does." He buried his face in Viktor's shoulder, taking deep breaths. Thank goodness the contraction seemed to be a short one. It was already going away.

With an inward sigh, he realized that he needed to tell Viktor soon. He had read that the muscle spasms would get more painful as his due date neared. One of these days, he was going to have a bad one and scare poor Viktor shitless, and he didn't need that stress.

Once the tightness had passed and he raised his head off of Viktor's shoulder, he was disappointed to find that he had missed the majority of Otabek's program. He watched Otabek skate around, gathering a few stuffed plushies and flowers. "How did he do? I was distracted."

Viktor's fingers absently played with his hair. "He did well. He landed all but one of his jumps, and his form was lovely. I'm sure he'll score well."

Yuuri smiled. "Yurio will be proud."

"Mm."

Chris was the last to go. Yuuri watched Chris skate out onto the ice in a glittering silver costume, a confident smile on his handsome face, but the buzz in his mind drowned most of the performance out.

Viktor had just skated a program for Yuuri that spoke beautifully of his love and devotion. He was so free and open with his love for Yuuri, and that love included trust and honesty.

Why was it still so frightening to offer that same level of trust back?

He rested his hand on his belly, the movement under his palm as familiar to him now as his own voice. If he and Viktor were going to raise a child together, to be married to each other, then they needed to be honest with each other. Yuuri had fallen short of that lately.

His jaw hardened with determination.

_Tonight. I'll tell him tonight._

He just hoped he could stick to that.

-

The day concluded with Viktor in first, Chris in second, and surprisingly, Minami in third. He still looked a little shell-shocked. Phichit, Otabek, and Leo followed by small margins.

Unfortunately, on the way out, the press finally cornered them. Cameras flashed in their faces, the snapping of shutters nearly drowned out by the incessant chatter.

"Mr. Nikiforov! How many more seasons will you be skating?"

"Will you be retiring to take care of the baby, Mr. Katsuki?"

"How does it feel to be the one to steal Viktor away from his fans, Yuuri?"

"A message for your heartbroken fans, Mr. Nikiforov?"

"Is your baby a boy or a girl?"

"Do you plan on raising the baby together?"

"How far along are you, Mr. Katsuki?"

"How will you continue skating if you have a child to take care of?"

"Yuuri, what's your response to the people who claim you stole Viktor from the ice?"

"Are you really engaged?"

"Viktor! How does it feel to have conceived a baby with your student?"

The questions whirled around Yuuri, and part of him wanted to bolt, but he knew that it would just delay the questions. They'd never stop hounding him if he did. He was unsurprised that the majority of the questions were either for him or related to him. Not all of them were without reproach, and some of them were downright rude. Celebrity gossip was a cruel thing.

However, Viktor slipped an arm around him, offering his unwavering support. Yuuri could have kissed him right in front of the cameras for that. Viktor answered the questions with poise and eloquence, turning down the more improper ones, and helped Yuuri to do the same.

Eventually, the press got what they wanted, and they were released. Yuuri was tempted to fall to his knees and kiss the ground in relief. He despised dealing with paparazzi, especially when he hadn't even been the one skating.

He sighed and let his head fall back once they were in the taxi on the way back to the hotel. Viktor patted his knee.

"Tired?"

"Of invasive questions, yes. Don't those people have any shame?" His face heated as he recalled a few of the more embarrassing ones.

"Evidently not." Viktor's lip curled in disdain. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that."

Yuuri gave him a sidelong glance. "It's not your fault. I chose to carry the baby, I knew people were going to talk."

"Still…" Viktor twisted his ring, irritation pulling his brows down. "I wish they would control themselves. You're not a zoo animal."

Yuuri stifled a snicker at Viktor's disgruntled expression. "My knight in shining armor, defending my honor from the mean paparazzi," he sighed dramatically, clasping his hands and leaning over to rest his head on Viktor's shoulder.

Viktor reluctantly smiled, readjusting so that he could wrap an arm around Yuuri's shoulders.

When they reached their room, Viktor took off his jacket and fell onto the bed face-first with a long, groaning sigh. Yuuri chuckled, sitting down next to him and rubbing his back.

"Sounds like you're the tired one here."

Viktor gave a pitiful, muffled whine. "Don't make fun of me, I'm old. Will you unzip me, please?"

"You're twenty-eight, Viktor." Yuuri complied, and the costume fell away, revealing the creamy skin beneath.

" _Old_ , Yuuri. I'm ancient, or at least I feel it." Viktor sat up and let the blouse slip off of his arms and onto the bed. He turned over and stretched his right knee out in front of him with a wince. "I didn't realize how tiring competing would be. I stretched thoroughly before I skated, but…" he rubbed the joint, looking very troubled.

Yuuri's heart skipped a beat. "Is it hurting you badly?"

Viktor pursed his lips and glared down at his knee, then shook his head. "Not badly. It's just stiff. I think it will go away if I wrap the heating pad around it. Maybe I just need to stretch it a little more tomorrow."

Yuuri procured the aforementioned pad from Viktor's suitcase, plugging it into the wall and handing it to him. He wrapped it around his knee and secured it with the velcro, switching it on and leaning back against the pillows. He closed his eyes in bliss. "Oh, that's wonderful…"

Yuuri sat on the edge of the bed, fiddling with the fabric of his sweater, fighting inwardly with himself.

 _Tell him, just tell him. He won't be mad at you. If anything, if you wait until you have another one and he panics, he will be mad, and it will just stress him out further. Stop being selfish and tell him_.

He breathed in, breathed out. Opened his mouth, but the words died in his throat. He closed his eyes, his brow furrowed.

God dammit, why was he such a coward?

"Yuuri, do you…you want to talk?" He turned to see Viktor regarding him with a concerned look.

"Well…" he hesitated. He chewed on the inside of his bottom lip, planning out what he was going to say. Viktor watched him patiently.

"You know you can tell me anything." Viktor reached out to rest a hand on his thigh.

Yuuri blinked down at the white bedding, fingering a stray thread. "I-I know. I've been meaning to tell you for a while, but…" Dread welled in his chest as Viktor sat up further, his brows raising.

"Is everything okay?"

"Well, no and yes." He took a deep breath, resting his hand on his belly when he felt a slight shift within. "You know how…the further along I get, my body will be preparing to h-have the baby?" His cheeks warmed up. He forced himself to meet Viktor's eyes.

Viktor nodded, his face open.

"Well…those things the doctor told us about…the Braxton Hicks? False contractions?"

Viktor nodded intently again, his brows drawing together.

Yuuri pressed through the fear. "Um…I've been having them off and on since the day before we left."

Viktor's face flashed with worry for a split second and he looked down, and Yuuri could tell that he was collecting his thoughts.

"So, then…that night, when you wanted to shower alone. Was that…?"

Yuuri nodded faintly, closing his eyes in guilt. "I started having one r-right after I came." His face burned. How embarrassing.

Viktor was silent for a minute, and Yuuri chanced a peek at him. His blue eyes were stormy with uncertainty.

"Does it hurt? When it happens?" He asked softly.

Yuuri nodded reluctantly, rubbing his knuckles. "Sometimes, but not too badly. It's just really uncomfortable. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I just wanted you to be able to focus on the competition and not be distracted…"

Viktor tugged him down onto the bed, pulling him close to his side. Yuuri shifted so that the side of his belly rested on Viktor's abdomen.

It was a moment before Viktor spoke again, and he sounded contrite. "I…I hadn't even noticed that you were in pain. I'm sorry."

Of course he would find some way to blame himself.

Yuuri quickly shook his head. "It's not your fault. I shouldn't have kept it from you, it wasn't right of me. So…yeah…" he squished his cheek on Viktor's shoulder, lowering his eyelids. "When I have another one, try not to worry too much, okay? It's normal this late in pregnancy. It's just my muscles tightening to get ready for actual labor."

Viktor's hand came to rest on his bump. "I'll do my best, but why did you keep it from me?" His voice was a bit hurt.

Yuuri swallowed, curling up a bit. "I just didn't want you to have to worry."

"Yuuri," Viktor gave a resigned sigh, "it's my job to worry about you and little bean. Please, don't keep things from me like that from now on. It only makes me worry more. I honestly thought that I had injured you somehow that night, and I didn't know what to do."

Yuuri nodded against his shoulder, trying not to die of shame at the thought of Viktor feeling so helpless. "I'll try…I'm sorry."

"At the rink, earlier, while Otabek was skating? Was that one, too?"

"Yeah…"

"…and on the plane yesterday?"

Yuuri nodded wordlessly. He felt a bit like he was being scolded, but he knew Viktor was just concerned.

"Oh, Yuuri," he sighed again, his voice soft and sad, "I'm sorry you have to go through so much pain. I know you've told me it's not my fault, and I'm not saying it is, but it's just…difficult to see someone I love so much hurt like this." He let out a resigned laugh. "I'm kind of ready for all of this to be over for you. I know how uncomfortable you're getting."

Yuuri smiled faintly. "I know. And I appreciate your sympathy." The baby wiggled, shifting down toward the side that was pressed against Viktor's belly.

"Hi, little bean," Viktor whispered in that sweet, singsong tone he always used when talking to the baby, "daddy loves you so, so much." He rubbed slow, gentle circles on Yuuri's stomach, the warmth from his palm seeping through the fabric. Yuuri drew in a sharp breath through his nose when the baby pressed against the bottom of his ribs. "Restless tonight," Viktor noted with a hint of concern.

"I think they're eager to meet us." Yuuri gave a labored sigh, resting his own hand on his round side. "And I'm so ready to meet them. I hope they have your hair." Genetics wasn't on his side there, but he could dream.

"And I hope they have _yours_." Viktor shot back playfully.

They talked softly back and forth about the baby for a while, and it made Yuuri's heart feel as light and airy as cotton candy. He was so glad that he'd finally come clean. He hadn't realized how much stress it had been causing him.

He slept so much better that night knowing that his conscience was clear.

Well, mostly.

-

During the night, he was woken up, thankfully not by the frantic pound of his heart because of a nightmare, but by the baby twisting and writhing around, squishing his organs.

 _Babyyy, why now?_ He suppressed the urge to groan, knowing that it would wake Viktor up. He looked over his shoulder to see his fiancé sacked out on his abdomen, tangled in the sheets, his cheek pressed into the pillow and his mouth open. He couldn't help but smile at the sight. Viktor was a hilariously messy sleeper sometimes.

He groggily sat up, pressing his fingers into his upper belly and letting out a long-suffering sigh. At least it seemed like he was developing a higher pain tolerance because of all this restless baby movement. He quietly slid out of bed, cringing when the baby kicked his hip bone. _Maybe if I walk around, it will help_. The baby didn't seem to like to move as much when Yuuri was standing.

He slowly walked around for a few minutes, ruefully noting the recent changes to his center of gravity. The heaviness of his belly was finally enough to make him waddle slightly now, much to his annoyance. He ended up at the window, moving the curtains with one finger and peering down at the city lights glittering softly. It was drizzling, and raindrops lazily snaked down the window in tiny, clear paths. The world seemed so much softer when it was raining, like it took the hard edges off of everything, blurring them out and creating a hazy mix of shapes and colors. _Such a pretty view…_

He pressed his hand to the window, watching the glass fog underneath his palm. As usual, when he was alone like this, his thoughts were filled with the baby.

He had been surfing around on YouTube earlier, and had come across a video of a premature baby boy that had been born at thirty-one weeks, which was almost how far along he was now. Though the baby had been tiny, what had struck Yuuri wasn't the fact that the newborn had been in an incubator, or how small he had been.

It was how _perfect_ he had been.

He had had a tiny nose, mouth, ears, all completely formed. He had pale, delicate eyebrows, fingernails no bigger than dewdrops at the ends of his fingers, and soft, wispy brown hair on his little head. His eyes had been sleepy, lined with miniscule lashes that were so small Yuuri had barely been able to see them on the video.

As early as he had been born, he was still flawless. A perfect little human.

Yuuri's eyes filled with tears, gazing down at the mound of his belly protruding out from his torso.

His baby, the baby that was moving around inside of his womb right now, was already roughly the same size as that little boy. So perfect already.

It was an amazing thought.

He heard Viktor stir in the bed and he looked over his shoulder, seeing Viktor turning over and sighing quietly in his sleep. His heart overflowed with affection.

He loved Viktor so much that he couldn't even fully wrap his mind around it. And sometimes, as impossible as it seemed, he loved the baby even more.

He reached a hand under his shirt, resting his hand against his warm, tight skin, feeling the little shifts and squirms of the baby winding down, finally settling down for a nap.

A smile touched his lips as he climbed back into bed.

 _I can't wait to meet you face to face, little bean_.

-

_30 weeks, 5 days_

 

Since Viktor had placed first in the short programs, he would be skating last in the free skate. It was fine with him. It gave him more time to watch his lovely fiancé's reactions to the other skaters after he stretched. By the time he was satisfied with the range of motion in his knee, he had unfortunately missed the first performance and a bit of the second. Yuuri smiled up at him as he sat down, then turned his attention back to Otabek's skating.

His program was very atypical for him. The [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccBDu4ZARIo) was rocky and tinged with desperation, and it was a bit reminiscent of Yuri's exhibition skate in tone. All in all, it was a solid performance that definitely matched Otabek's theme of "duality". It was vastly different from his short program.

(Yuuri told him later that Otabek and Yuri had helped each other choose their music, to give each other a challenge.)

Viktor smiled at Yuuri's enthusiasm as he clapped and cheered as Otabek finished. Yuuri was fun to just sit back and quietly watch, especially when he was content. His facial expressions were so _cute_ when they were unbridled like this, free of the anxiety that plagued him far too often. Viktor felt a twinge of sadness that Yuuri had kept him in the dark about the false contractions, but he understood that Yuuri had done it out of concern, misguided as it had been. Now, with that weight off of his shoulders, Yuuri was visibly relaxed and calm, free to enjoy the performances of his friends and fellow skaters.

His cinnamon brown eyes would harden when a skater overrotated or touched down, and they would sparkle with delight when a successful program finished. A couple of times during Phichit's program, he teared up from the emotion of the [music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94LH08Y1vfM) and performance, and Viktor gently gathered him against his side, rubbing his shoulder with his thumb.

"I'm so proud of him," Yuuri wavered, and Viktor dropped a kiss on the crown of his head.

"I know he loves you very much, and he's grateful for your support." Phichit was truly a rarity. He was one of the genuinely nicest people Viktor had ever met.

Once Phichit had completed his program, Yuuri got up (with a little effort) and hurried to the barrier with Celestino not too far behind. Viktor stifled a grin of endearment at his gait; Yuuri was beginning to waddle, and it was so adorable. Phichit hugged Yuuri gently as he stepped off of the ice, and Viktor could see them talking excitedly to each other. Celestino said something in a stern tone, and all three of them laughed.

It felt so good to see Yuuri happy.

Minami was up next, dressed in deep purple, black, and blue. His [music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEzoxgv_kOM) was probably the catchiest, most high-energy song Viktor had ever heard, though he couldn't understand but a few words here and there. Minami danced and bopped across the ice, completely in his element, flashing that sharp-toothed grin and encouraging the audience to put their hands up and clap along.

He finished the program with almost no flaws, to Viktor's surprise. Apparently, it was to Minami's surprise, too. He looked dazed and tearful as he fell to his knees, clutching one of the onigiri plushies that had been tossed onto the ice.

His score was impressive, another personal best for him. Viktor couldn't help but feel proud for him as he waved to the cameras in the kiss and cry, his face lit up in an ecstatic smile.

"Oh, boy," Yuuri chuckled, and Viktor followed his gaze to where Chris was taking his jacket off, revealing a racy costume of black and crimson. "There's the Chris we know and love."

"Let's hope the audience covers their children's eyes," Viktor answered lowly, and they both snickered.

Chris skated to the center of the ice with a smile and a flourish, and the screams of his fans were earsplitting. "Next to skate is Christophe Giacometti of Switzerland. From the looks of things, we'll be getting a sultry performance indeed. Once again, his theme this season is 'fearlessness'."

Sultry, it was. The [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WNxDRJb5ow) was dripping with sexy, in-your-face confidence, and Chris had no shortage of that. Unfortunately, he underrotated on one of his jumps, but he made up for it by changing one of his triples to a quad in the last half of his program.

Viktor's chest surged with pride as Chris fell into his finishing pose, his cheeks flushed and his expression happy. He had done beautifully.

Yuuri stood with a little grunt and tugged Viktor to his feet, leading him to the barrier and congratulating Chris as he made his way back from the kiss and cry. He looked a little disappointed, as he was currently in second (behind _Minami_ , Viktor realized with amazement), but he smiled and winked all the same.

" _Ganbatte!_ Do your best!" Minami called from the stands behind them, and they both waved. Even though he was in first, he was still a ball of enthusiasm and encouragement.

Yuuri unzipped Viktor's jacket and he shrugged out of it, rolling his shoulders in the tight fabric of the Agape/Eros costume hybrid. It was, thankfully, very comfortable, like a second skin. He rubbed his ring, making sure that it fit snugly and wouldn't fly off while he was spinning.

Yuuri was looking up at him with admiration glittering in his pretty eyes. "You're stunning, sweetheart." He reached up to brush Viktor's bangs aside, the corners of his eyes crinkling in a smile.

There was that endearment again. Ah, how Viktor loved the sound of it on Yuuri's lips. It warmed every nerve in his body.

He rested his hands on the sides of Yuuri's belly. "Not as stunning as you," he answered softly, and Yuuri laughed.

"You know," Yuuri's fingers gently touched the beads and sequins on his chest, "this reminds me a little of the Agape costume, too, not just the Eros."

"That was the point, love. What I feel for you is a mixture of both." Viktor smiled at the sweet blush on Yuuri's smooth cheeks. He handed Yuuri his skate guards and stepped down onto the ice, then turned around, resting his hand over Yuuri's. "I want the whole world to know how much I adore you, Yuuri."

Yuuri must have sensed what Viktor wanted so badly to do, because he leaned down and forward in invitation, and the pretty red pout of his lips was too much of a temptation to resist.

Viktor leaned to meet him, and their lips joined in a tender kiss that made the audience's screams even louder. When he pulled back, Yuuri's eyes roved over his face, then a soft smile turned his lips up.

"Seduce me with everything you have," he whispered playfully, lifting Viktor's right hand to his lips to kiss his ring.

Viktor breathed out a chuckle, clasping Yuuri's hand tightly. "Watch me."

Yuuri beamed. "As if I could look away."

As he settled into his starting position, the commentator speaking in the background, he smiled inwardly.

_Yuri will call me a hopeless sap._

Finger style guitar sounded over his head, and he lost himself to the performance.

-

"Welcome our last skater of the evening, Viktor Nikiforov! Mr. Nikiforov stood in first in the short programs, let's see if he can hold onto that title today. He has four quads planned in this program."

Viktor circled the rink, waving to the crowd and blowing kisses, until he was in the middle. He took the starting position that Yuuri had watched time and time again, but this time, as the crowd fell into a hush, softly plucked guitar drifted from the speakers, a [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iYUQW6RovY) that Yuuri hadn't been allowed to hear until now.

"His first jump will be a quadruple flip."

The lyrics of the song, sung by the soft voice of a young man, almost distracted Yuuri from the perfect quad flip that Viktor executed. The words were ruefully affectionate, open and honest.

"Flawless quad flip there. He's really bringing his all tonight."

The audience was completely transfixed as Viktor glided across the ice, a vision in sparkling pearlescent white and black, weaving his love spell with signature grace and poise.

Viktor was telling Yuuri, not just with words, but through his skating, how much he loved him. Not only telling him, but telling the world, using the one language that both of them were completely fluent in.

As Viktor twirled in an achingly beautiful butterfly entry into a camel spin, the chorus surged around the stadium, and Yuuri was already holding back tears.

He felt the baby shift inside, and he rested his hand over the movement. _Your tou-san is skating for us, little bean. I wish you could see it._

If Viktor's short program had been a subtle tribute, then this was about as blatant of a public "I love you" as he could possibly make it. Yuuri felt…not embarrassed, but bashful, and maybe a little envious that Viktor could express that so freely. On the plus side, any naysayers would be straight up denying reality now.

The second verse had Yuuri's resistance breaking, and he completely gave up trying to stifle his tears. He pressed his scarf to his lips, letting the hot tears slip down his cheeks. Who cared if he cried, he was pregnant, he could cry.

Viktor soared into a quad salchow, then a triple axel, landing with a soft smile and rolling his wrist as he reached out to Yuuri.

"What a beautiful combination jump!"

Viktor gazed into Yuuri's eyes as he skated by, and Yuuri's breath froze in his chest at the intensity in the blue-green eyes. God help him, his insides tingled.

How in the _hell_ did he get so lucky?

Viktor's face was more relaxed than he had ever seen. He was completely in the moment, utterly focused.

"Very emotional step sequence. You can tell that he's giving his whole heart here."

 _Have to agree with you there_. Yuuri shifted his weight, leaning forward to stretch and supporting his belly with one hand so it wouldn't pull on his back so badly. He was glad he was almost able to sit down again, he was beginning to tire.

Viktor ended up shirking Yakov's advice and putting two quads in the last half of his program, and he shocked Yuuri by landing them without a hitch. His stamina had held out.

"He's landed all of his jumps! What a display of talent!"

"You okay?" He heard Phichit whispered in his ear, and he nodded, never taking his eyes off of Viktor. "Making sure you weren't crying from pain. You've got me antsy with those contractions." His friend slipped an arm around his shoulders, and he leaned into the hug.

"I'm hopeless," Yuuri sniffled quietly as Viktor went into his final spin, "I love him so much it scares me, Phichit."

"I know you do," Phichit whispered, "and I'm so happy for you I could just die."

Phichit released him and patted his back as Viktor finished his program with one hand over his heart and his ring held to his lips. Flowers and stuffed toys showered the ice all around him.

"A truly masterful performance by Viktor Nikiforov!" The commentator could barely be heard over the audience, but Yuuri heard none of it.

Viktor skated to him hurriedly, a Makkachin plushie tucked under his arm, and stepped up off of the ice, holding his arm out for Yuuri. He hugged Viktor as tightly as his belly would allow.

"I love you so much," Yuuri murmured into Viktor's shoulder, tightening his hands on his back, "so much it just _hurts_."

Viktor pulled away, and suddenly his lips were on Yuuri's again, drowning out all of his rational thought. He didn't care that the whole world was watching; he kissed back with just as much fervor, not even minding when his glasses fogged slightly with their warm, shared breath.

"Can you two at least make it to the kiss and cry before you start kissing?" Yakov growled, but Yuuri saw the twinkle in his eye when they parted. They obeyed, and as they sat down, Viktor slipped his arm around Yuuri to wait for his score.

"That song…Viktor, it was beautiful." He'd never heard it in full before, only snippets of it on the radio when he lived in Detroit, but it was so heartfelt and gorgeous.

"I figured it fit," Viktor said simply, giving him a smile. Yuuri wrapped his arms around his fiancé, resting his cheek on his shoulder.

"Effective performance, Vitya," Yakov said gruffly, giving him a rough pat on the back, "several people around me were in tears."

"Including me," Yuuri laughed, "but I cry at just about everything these days."

The audience's screaming ratcheted up to the absolute maximum, and all three of their gazes darted to the score board.

They broke into excited yelling.

219.20. A full ten points ahead of Minami, but falling two points short of Yuuri's world record.

He had won.

Viktor Nikiforov was back.

-

**phichit-chu**

  
♡241,508 likes

Bye bye, Skate Canada! And congrats to the podium winners, @christophe-ge, @meepmeep-minami, and @v-nikiforov! #proudofyouguys #skatingfamselfie #plusmamayuuri #victorybaby #babysfirstskatingcompetition #unclephichit

 **yuri-plisetsky** @v-nikiforov come the nhk trophy you are literally roadkill  
21,924 likes

 **christophe-gc**  oooo, get im, tiger  
     4,569 likes

 **yuri-plisetsky** jfc go away  
          2,415 likes

 **v-nikiforov** I look forward to you breaking my record again ;)  
               34k likes

 **yuri-plisetsky** damn right i will (also this is a good pic of you @otabek-altin for once you don't have the resting bitch face lol)  
                    3,592 likes

 **CherryBlossomPanic** what a good picture!! #gpf #skatecanada  
1,492 likes

 **Raiarain** look at yuuri, he looks so happy, they all look so happy, I'm living  
937 likes

 **meepmeep-minami** this was such a huge honor, seriously!! #gpf #silver  
5,147 likes

 **+guanghongji+** congrats to you guys! Ready to skate against you at the Rostelecom Cup, @meepmeep-minami! #gpf  
     1,500 likes

 **meepmeep-minami** same to you! :D  
          801 likes

 **otabek-altin** @yuri-plisetsky I try.  
13,490 likes

 **yuri-plisetsky** lmao  
     3,401 likes

 **CfghTheAntLord** Yuuri's hand on his belly gave me all the happy flutters #socute #victorybaby #congratstothewinners  
947 likes

 **leo-de-la-iglesia** had an awesome time, guys! Congrats!  
1,170 likes

 **december-rain** viktor and yuuri make such a stunning couple, and he wears that baby bump like a champ! #victorybaby  
204 likes

 **sara-crisp** this is such a good picture! And you look great, @katsuki-y! #gpf #congratstothewinners #victorybaby  
1,721 likes

 **motherfuckingjesseeisenberg** all of my faves in one picture, I am blessed, yes lord  
830 likes

  
-

They all met at the café in the lower levels of the Bessborough afterward, once the medal ceremony was over and commemorative photos had been taken. They had met J.J. and Isabella on the way out of the stadium, and Phichit had insisted that they join, even though J.J. hadn't skated. He had been absent the previous day due to a younger sibling's birthday. Otabek, Minami, and Leo had gone back to their hotels, apologizing for having to leave because of their early flights the next morning, but not before Minami gave Yuuri a hug and told him to take good care of the baby.

Viktor was just thankful the chairs in the café were comfortable, for Yuuri's sake.

The low chatter in the room curled around him pleasantly as he sipped his champagne. It felt…quite a lot better than he thought it would to win. The last time he had won gold, it had felt horribly shallow. Like it hadn't meant anything. But now, he felt like he had actually been challenged, and he had Yuuri to motivate him to skate his best. It felt so much more fulfilling to skate for someone he loved, rather than just skating to be winning because it was expected.

He glanced over at Yuuri, who was sitting with Phichit and Isabella, curled up in a cushy armchair with shadows of fatigue under his eyes. He looked exhausted, poor thing…it had been a long couple of days for him. Phichit sat in the chair next to Yuuri, intently watching the baby move and occasionally resting his hand over the protrusions it created, and Yuuri seemed amused by his fascination. Viktor tuned in to the conversation, rather than listen to what Chris and J.J. were discussing.

"You just wait until you have a baby some day," Yuuri was saying, breathing deeply through the no doubt vigorous kicks and prods, "you won't think it's so cute and novel then."

"Oh, of course I will. It will be such a cool experience. Provided I find someone who can stand me before I'm eighty." Phichit rolled his eyes. "And you know you love it. You've told me."

"I do," Yuuri sighed, poking the little knot that had risen on his side even through his sweater, "even if it hurts sometimes."

Isabella sighed happily, resting her chin in her slim hand. "I'd love to have children some day. Babies are so sweet and cuddly, they just melt my heart."

Yuuri grinned, crooking a finger at her. "Come here, while baby's still active." Isabella lit up, and she rose from her chair. Yuuri pointed to his left side, where Viktor could see that the baby was moving almost constantly. "Feel right there."

"Oh, my God, I can already _see_ it." She still held her hand to Yuuri's belly, her blue eyes wide with wonder. "That is so…strange and wonderful. What on earth must that feel like for you?"

"Like a squirmy little baby is doing Pilates in my belly." Yuuri winced and hissed, causing that same guilty feeling as always to rise in Viktor's chest. "Sometimes I wonder if he or she is already trying to do triple axels in there."

"You, my friend, are so far gone I can barely see you anymore."

Chris' teasing words pulled Viktor back from the others' conversation, and he turned to see his long-time friend leaning his chin on his hand, a lopsided smile on his face and shaking his head. "You haven't heard a word I've said for the past five minutes."

"I'm sorry," Viktor ran a hand over his face and yawned. "I'm pretty tired."

J.J. laughed, nudging his shoulder. "You're pretty _smitten_ , is what you are."

Viktor looked back at Yuuri, who was laughing softly at something Isabella said as she held her hand to his belly. "Can you blame me?"

They stayed in the cafe for quite a while. Eventually, Viktor felt like enough was enough; Yuuri was falling asleep in his chair, so they bid their friends good night. J.J. shook Viktor's hand before they left, promising to give his all if they met each other in the final, and Isabella gave Yuuri a gentle hug. Phichit departed for his room with a smile and a hug for each of them, and Chris dramatically sighed as he did the same.

By the time they reached the room, Yuuri was practically dead on his feet. They took a quick shower together to save time, helping each other wash off, and Viktor was amused to find Yuuri falling asleep sitting up while Viktor washed his hair, his head falling back into Viktor's hands. It was such a cute display of trust. Yuuri knew Viktor wouldn't let him fall.

"Come on," Viktor chuckled, holding his arm out for Yuuri to slip his own through it as they got out of the shower, "the sooner you do it, the sooner you can go to bed."

"I know," Yuuri groaned, wrapping a towel around himself (as far as it would go) and moving to sit down on the side of the tub so he could dry his hair, "I'm just so exhausted. I don't know what's wrong with me."

Viktor patted his bare shoulder. "You're pregnant, sweetheart. This is the first major activity you've had in a few months. It makes sense that it would wear you out." He turned on the blow dryer to take some of the dampness out of his hair, brushing it as he did. Yuuri watched him with a wistful expression.

"Your hair is so pretty."

Viktor's face warmed at the sleepy affection in Yuuri's voice. "Thank you," he murmured down at Yuuri, his grin widening when he saw him rubbing his eye and yawning, resting his free hand on his round stomach. "Try not to fall asleep, I'm not sure I could catch you in time."

"Ha ha. I think I'll take the longest nap in history when we get home." Yuuri blinked blearily, drying himself off with the soft blue towel. It looked a little difficult to dry his legs and feet, but he managed to get it done, even with the baby likely pressing into his stomach. "Man, I sure can't lean over very far anymore," he lamented.

Viktor gave him a sideways smile. "Baby's really getting big. You don't really look like you're just seven and a half months."

"Mhm, I look about a month more." Yuuri prodded his belly with one finger. "Must be because of my waist being short. My mom told me she looked huge with me and Mari because of how short she is." Anyone else might have been offended by Viktor's words, but Yuuri actually seemed to take a maternal sort of pride in his baby bump. He had told Viktor before that, barring the pain and discomfort, it felt very special to carry a baby.

"I'll have to see your baby pictures one day," Viktor said with a wink, and Yuuri rolled his eyes, slipping his feet into the leg holes of his boxer briefs.

"Sure you will. Ah…" he hesitated, averting his eyes. "Could you help me up?"

Viktor held out his hand with a smile, pulling Yuuri up off of the side of the bathtub. Yuuri tugged his underwear up as he stood, having to bend and twist a little awkwardly to get them situated. "Need some help with that?" Viktor asked teasingly, and Yuuri smacked him over the chest with his pajama pants.

"Yes, actually. Will you?"

Once they were clean and in pajamas, Viktor felt so much better. Nothing could compare to the feeling of being squeaky clean and snuggling into soft, freshly washed sheets at the end of a long day.

"What time does the flight leave in the morning?" Yuuri padded put of the bathroom once he had brushed his teeth, leaving Viktor standing at the sink.

He spoke around the toothbrush in his mouth. "Eleven. I figured we would want to sleep in." Oh, how he was looking forward to it. He was going to sleep like the dead tonight, provided his knee didn't stiffen up again. Viktor leaned over to rinse his own mouth of the minty foam.

"That's good. I'm glad we don't have to get up earl…" Yuuri abruptly stopped talking, as if something else had grabbed his attention, but Viktor had gotten the gist of the sentence. He patted his mouth with the towel and turned to leave the bathroom.

"I agree. It will be nice to rest up before the…flight…" he trailed off at the sight before him.

Yuuri was standing a few feet from the bed, hunched over, one hand on the wall and the other cradling the underside of his bump.

"Yuuri?" His voice rose in panic of its own volition as he jogged to his fiancé, holding his hand to the small of Yuuri's back. He was breathing heavily. "Hurting?"

Yuuri nodded jerkily, turning around to bury his face in Viktor's chest and lean against him instead of the wall. "Braxton Hicks," he whispered, seeming to force the words out through clenched teeth.

Viktor took a few deep breaths of his own, sliding his arms around Yuuri. Right. The things Yuuri had told him about yesterday. The things that were _normal, calm down._ His heart was already way above its normal rate.

He reached up to hold the back of Yuuri's head, hearing a moan against his chest. "Is there anything I can do?" He asked, feeling useless. Yuuri shook his head slowly, and it made Viktor's heart hurt. He nestled his nose in Yuuri's hair, breathing in his soft scent and the shampoo he had used, then pressing a kiss to the silky locks. "I'm sorry you're hurting, darling." Yuuri voiced a cross between a hum and a groan, breathing shallowly and rocking his hips from side to side. Viktor moved his hand down to rub Yuuri's lower back, startled at how hard the baby bump felt against his own stomach. It was normally a bit squishy and pliable.

He tried not to think about the fact that Yuuri had gone through this several times alone already, with no one to comfort him.

Eventually, after about a minute and a half, Yuuri seemed to recover enough to breathe more normally, the tightness in his shoulders ebbing away. "That was…worse than they normally are," he whispered. Viktor tried not to feel alarmed at the words.

"What do they feel like? How do you know that they're not actual labor?" The words made his pulse jump. He didn't like even the _idea_ of Yuuri giving birth this early.

Yuuri drew in a deep breath and leaned back, standing on his own, and Viktor helped him to the bed, noticing him rubbing his back with the heel of his hand. "It feels like a rubber band closing around me," Yuuri sat down and pointed across his round stomach in a line, right above his belly button, "here. And I know they're false because I…well, when I was delirious that time, I don't know if they told you this, but I was having contractions on the examination table back there. They had to stop it with some kind of drug before they stitched my cervix up."

Viktor nodded sympathetically. The doctor had told him that right away.

"That's how. I remember what the contractions felt like. That, and Braxton Hicks are much longer than real contractions. This isn't labor, it's just practice." Yuuri pressed his fingers into his upper belly. "Here, feel. It's still pretty tight, but I think it's starting to go away."

Sure enough, Yuuri's belly was taut under Viktor's fingertips, like the muscles beneath the skin had been pulled as tight as they could.

"That's…kind of amazing." Viktor realized what he'd just said and amended. "The process, not the you being in pain part."

Yuuri nodded. "It is pretty fascinating. And don't worry, it's not unbearably painful or anything. Just uncomfortable, and it kinda makes it a little hard to breathe deeply." His voice was becoming clearer, losing the pinched breathiness and returning to normal. "That was a fairly short one, thank God. I had one yesterday, here in the room with Phichit while you were gone, and it lasted like…five minutes."

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry," Viktor murmured, rubbing his back and feeling like the worst fiancé in the world. "If only I had known, I'd have never left you."

"You couldn't have known, because I was a big idiot and didn't tell you." Yuuri curled up against the pillows, and Viktor lay down on his side, propping on one elbow and resting his temple on his hand.

"Still. Sort of feels like I abandoned you," he murmured, reaching to take Yuuri's hand and rub his knuckles.

"You didn't, silly. Stop blaming yourself." Yuuri took a deep breath, resting his free hand on the side of his belly. It was visibly relaxed again, hanging slightly to the side and slowly rising and falling with his breathing. "If it would have been actual labor, I would have called you, or sent Phichit to get you."

Viktor laughed sheepishly. "I know. I just wish I had been here to, I don't know…commiserate."

Yuuri smiled, patting his hand. "You're so sweet."

"I try." Viktor stretched slowly, arching his back and squeezing his eyes shut, and the muscles in his back and torso pulled pleasantly, worn out in a good way from the workout of the past couple of days. He relaxed out of the stretch and let his hand fall to Yuuri's upper arm, rubbing a tender path up and down. "Thank you for coming along and supporting me at the competition, even though it was hard on you." Yuuri looked like he was about to protest, but Viktor held his other hand up. "I'm not blind, Yuuri. I know this trip has tired you out pretty badly. And just so we're clear, I won't be hurt if you don't make it to the next two."

"Viktor, I—" Yuuri's mouth snapped shut and he looked a little petulant, but reluctantly nodded. "…okay. But if I feel like it, I want to be there. It wouldn't feel right to watch you from a TV. Besides, they're both in Japan this time, so we wouldn't have to fly."

Viktor nodded, choosing not to argue further. "Okay." He held out his arm in invitation, and Yuuri scooted closer. Viktor had to bend his back a bit around the baby bump, but they managed to maneuver around it to get as close as they possibly could, with Viktor's arms pulling Yuuri close and pressing their bellies together.

"I meant what I said, though. You're the sweetest. You've…" Yuuri's face lit with a blush and he looked down, eyes hooded by his dark lashes, "you've been so wonderful and selfless throughout this whole thing. You're considerate and thoughtful and it makes me feel… really safe and cared for."

Viktor lifted Yuuri's hand to his lips, kissing his ring finger. "Anything for the mother of our baby," he replied, his own face softening into a contented smile when Yuuri squared his shoulders and his blush deepened. "And my future husband whom I love very, very much."

Yuuri swallowed, blinking rapidly. A tear rolled down his temple and dripped onto the pillowcase, and Viktor was about to feel bad for making him cry _yet again_ , but then, the most beautiful, quivery smile spread across Yuuri's face, his eyes catching the city lights from the window and shining softly with adoration.

"Oh, Vitya…I love you so much more than I can express," Yuuri whispered and sniffled, reaching up to stroke the back of his knuckles down Viktor's cheek, "you are so…so precious to me."

The tender words enveloped Viktor's heart like the steam curling off of a coffee cup, and he felt the prick of tears in his eyes and nose. He leaned forward and Yuuri met him halfway, sealing their lips together. As they kissed languidly, unhurried, Viktor felt the baby wiggle against his stomach through the walls of Yuuri's uterus, and it made him smile against Yuuri's lips. It was such an incredible, wonderful feeling, the gentle stirrings of life within his fiancé's belly. The baby kicked outward and they broke the kiss, each voicing a noise of surprise (and maybe a little pain on Yuuri's part). Okay, maybe not so gentle, after all.

"Hey, uh, Viktor?"

"Yes, my love?"

"Would you…man, I hate to ask this, I know you're so tired…" Yuuri's tone was full of regret.

Viktor rested his hand on Yuuri's side. "You can ask me anything, dear."

"Well…I, um. I've been craving mint chocolate chip ice cream all day…I know it's a little late, but would you…?" Yuuri fidgeted, looking so adorable that Viktor couldn't help the grin that stretched across his face, forgetting the weariness in his limbs.

He kissed the tip of Yuuri's nose. "Say no more. There's a convenience store about a block from here, I'll go see if they have some. I'm sure they will." Viktor got up from the bed, slipping his jacket and shoes on and combing his fingers through his slightly messy hair.

Yuuri deflated in relief. "Oh, thank you. It's been driving me crazy for hours."

"Yuuriii…you should have said something, I would have been glad to get it sooner," Viktor said, leaning down briefly to press a kiss to Yuuri's forehead, "I'll be back in a minute. Call Phichit or Chris first if something happens."

Yuuri smiled. "I will. Thank you so much."

"Of course." He sent Yuuri a wink over his shoulder, the image of him smiling back sweetly and propped up with his hands resting on his full belly staying with Viktor the whole walk.

As he walked across the street of the quiet city, he shook his head, smiling and inhaling the icy wind into his lungs, then letting it out in a soft chuckle that expelled a cloud of steam.

He gazed up at the stars, silently thanking whatever fate had decided to allow him to exist at the same time as Katsuki Yuuri.

 _I've got to be the luckiest man in the entire world_.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Motto hayaku: faster
> 
> Onegai: please
> 
> My musical taste is weird as fuck and I apologize for it lmfao (but Minami skating to Flyers is everything I've ever wanted in life)
> 
> The Skate Canada medals are so cool :'D and jfc, that group photo killed me several times over, I'm so glad it's finally done
> 
> Quick question for pondering: are there any cute and/or hurt/comforty pregnancy scenarios/symptoms I haven't covered yet that you would like to see in the next few chapters? If so, don't hesitate to mention it in the comments! I need inspiration!
> 
> Thank you loves for being so sweet and encouraging this whole time! You give me life ♡
> 
> Bye for now!~


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to warn about this time! Just a lot of hurt/comfort ♡ ~~and some much needed communication~~
> 
> Smut forecast: clear skies!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

_33 weeks, 5 days_

 

"There we go," Yuuri whispered in the hushed, excited tone customary for talking to dogs, scratching behind Makkachin's ears after pouring the kibble in his bowl. "You were hungry, huh, boy?" Makkachin's tail thumped against Yuuri's leg happily as he dug into his dinner. It had been a few hours since they had been home, and Yuuri knew Makka had probably been hungry.

Yuuri grabbed the counter and pulled himself up slowly, squeezing his eyes shut and breathing out through the ache in his back as he stood to his feet. It was growing difficult for him to get up from a kneeling position on his own; luckily he had had the counter to help him out this time. Viktor would have had a fit if he saw Yuuri doing it on his own, he thought with amusement. He heard and felt a satisfying crack as he arched his back and pushed his belly out in a stretch, his back muscles burning pleasantly. Sighing out a deep breath as he relaxed, he padded to the living room, stopping by the fridge on the way to tack the latest ultrasound to it.

The baby's head took up most of it. The little profile had been hard to find, because unlike previous appointments, the baby's head was pretty far down into Yuuri's pelvis, a knowledge that alarmed him even here, hours later. No wonder it had felt like there was a bowling ball firmly settled in his hips lately. He had had to lay down and let his belly hang to the side to get an adequate view of the baby, which had _not_ been comfortable; it had pulled on his back terribly without a pillow to support it. Luckily, Olesya (who was not just a nurse, but a nurse practitioner, he had learned) was quick and efficient, digging the ultrasound wand into the space between his belly and hip and _finally_ finding a still of the baby's face.

He was glad they had persevered, though, uncomfortable as it had been. The baby's nose and mouth were fairly visible in it, and maybe Yuuri was crazy to be looking for similarities this early, but the baby looked a little like Viktor already, or at least he thought so. He couldn't wait to be able to kiss that little forehead and nuzzle that petite nose.

After remembering to take the hormone pill he had to take once a week, Yuuri sank down onto the couch with a long, groaning sigh, resting his hand on his baby bump.

He was so tired. He was tired of _being_ tired, and he still had a little over a month to go. Patience, as it was beginning to turn out, was not always a virtue. He was getting to the point where he was just ready for it to be over.

At the doctor that morning, he and the baby had been given a thorough check, and everything was progressing normally. His belly was measuring fairly close to what was normal, only a little bigger than anticipated because of his short-waisted bone structure; Olesya had confirmed his suspicion on that. The baby was healthy and growing like a little weed, weighing nearly four and a half pounds and measuring sixteen inches long now, and those numbers would only continue to grow as the weeks wore on.

Six more long weeks. Yuuri rubbed his eyes and sighed.

He would hit the eight month mark in a couple of days, and he already felt like his belly couldn't possibly get any bigger. The press of his full uterus on his stomach and lungs caused him to almost always be slightly out of breath. People regularly asked him if he was having twins, and he could only laugh and answer in broken Russian. (Thank God, he wasn't; he had been assured that he was definitely only having one baby.)

He or she was estimated to weigh between seven and eight pounds at birth, which he was thankful for, because he himself had been nearly nine pounds when he was born. He winced inwardly. _Sorry, kaa-san._

Olesya had told him not to worry too much about the baby being head down already, as it likely wouldn't stay that way until a few weeks before he delivered. She said she had even heard of cases of the baby turning head down while the mother was in labor, so he tried not to fret over it too much. Still, it was hard.

He really needed to stop reading stories of complications on the internet. He didn't seek them out, more like stumbled on them in a stroke of bad luck, but they still scared the shit out of him.

The thought of giving birth in _general_ scared the shit out of him, but he'd be damned if he had to recover for six or more weeks from a c-section. He had heard that the recovery for a major surgery like that was pretty brutal, and returning to skating afterward was even more difficult. Besides, natural birth was statistically better for the baby; there was a long list of complications that came with a c-section that he would have rather gone his entire life without hearing. No matter how much it scared him, he would go through anything to make sure the baby was as safe and healthy as possible.

He looked down at his protruding belly, resting heavily in his lap. The fabric of the blue shirt that he wore strained to fit over it; he had had to wear another shirt under it to keep it from riding up, but he didn't mind. It was beginning to get genuinely cold outside, and extra layers could be shed if a hot flash were to blindside him.

At least the baby was fairly quiet, and had been for most of the day, only shifting and wiggling a little at the doctor's office during the ultrasound. It was like they somehow knew that mom and dad were watching and wanted to put on a show. He rested his hands on the swell, rubbing affectionately. _Little performer, like your mama and dad._

He was thankful for the respite. The baby was getting strong enough to hurt him with their vigorous movements, not to mention the increasingly painful false contractions he was experiencing nearly every day now; thankfully, the contractions were still extremely irregular, far away from actual labor contractions.

Viktor was currently in the bedroom packing for their trip back to Japan in two days, having waved Yuuri off when he offered to help upon their arrival home. After a lot of discussion, they had decided to stay in Japan for the length of time it took for the Grand Prix series to finish, and beyond, so Yuuri could give birth in his home country. Viktor had agreed immediately, since he "didn't have family in Russia anymore" (unless Yuri counted, and he would likely be in Japan anyway for the Final. He had already mentioned wanting to be near for the baby's birth, in a roundabout, grumpy way).

At that confusing statement, Yuuri had finally worked up the courage to ask Viktor where his older sister lived, and he had nearly fallen over when Viktor told him she lived in _Tokyo_ , of all things, with her Japanese husband and two teenage children. Apparently Nikiforovs had a type, as it were. He didn't ask if they could meet, though; he had seen the faraway look of regret in Viktor's eye at the mention of her name.

Maybe one day.

In any case, Yuuri was relieved to be going back. He was terribly homesick these days, though most of that was probably hormones' fault. He couldn't wait to be back home at the onsen with his family, and Viktor seemed excited to see them again, too. The hot, soothing water of the spring called to Yuuri all the way from Hasetsu.

Olesya had actually been a bit disappointed to hear that it would be their last appointment with her. As Yuuri had finished wiping the gel off of his stomach and tugged his shirt back down over it, Olesya had given them both a sad smile.

"Be sure to take care of yourselves in Japan, _da?_ Find a good doctor."

They had promised her that they would, and each of them had shaken her hand before they left. Weeks ago, Yuuko had told Yuuri that she recommended he see her doctor for his soon to be weekly checkups. Apparently, Yuuko had loved this particular doctor, so Yuuri felt like he could trust her judgment.

He huffed as he drew his legs up onto the couch, scooting down to rest his head on the pillows and pulling out his phone. It had dinged a few minutes prior, but he hadn't remembered to answer it. His memory was awful these days, also apparently the baby's fault. _Troublemaker_ , he glared playfully down at the big bump. He couldn't even see his feet past it…

He opened his messages to see Yuri's name, and he drew in a breath of hopeful anticipation as he tapped on it.

_silver_

Yuuri's heart sank. Second was very respectable, but he knew that Yuri wouldn't be satisfied with that at all. He had worked like a dog in the weeks leading up to the Cup of China, desperately trying to push himself back to his former skill.

He tapped out a reply. _I'm proud of you, Yuri_.

The phone immediately dinged again. _at least i beat out the fucking canadian. better than i thought id do. otabek won_

Yuuri smiled faintly.

_Hey, cool, you got to share the podium with him. That's awesome._

_dont give me that bullshit i should have tried harder_

_You did your best, and that's all that matters_.

He received no answer. If he knew Yuri at all, he had probably hurled his phone against a wall.

He knew how frustrating losing was, despite the fact that Yuri hadn't even truly lost. He could still easily qualify for the final. But that sick dread that seemed to crawl around in your throat, the knowledge that you hadn't been good enough, he knew that like the back of his hand. It hurt, and he hated that Yuri was going through it. Maybe he'd try calling him later.

"Yuri just texted. He won silver," Yuuri said in the direction of the bedroom, knowing Viktor would hear him easily in the quiet house.

He heard a sigh, and there was a break in the rustle of clothing. "He's not going to be happy with that."

"Oh, he's not." Having finished his snack, Makkachin stepped up onto the couch at the other end and snuggled down, draping himself over Yuuri's feet. He leaned down as far as he could to give the dog's head a pat, wrinkling his nose at the press of his uterus into his stomach and lungs. "He already won't answer me." His voice came out strained.

Viktor made a sympathetic humming noise. "Who won gold?"

"Otabek. From what Yuri said, I think J.J. won bronze." Yuuri snuggled back against the pillows, setting his phone to the side.

"Ah. Well, I'm proud of both of them, anyway." Viktor emerged from the doorway, one hand on his hip and running his fingers through his hair like he always did when he was going over lists in his head. "Are we forgetting anything?" He looked a bit frustrated.

Yuuri scooted to the side and patted the couch near his knees, and Viktor sat down, giving Makkachin's head a scratch. "Your clothes packed?" He asked.

"Yes. And most of yours. Will we need to pack dog food?"

"No, my parents keep kibble at the onsen now."

"Okay…" Viktor tapped his lips. "I have my costumes packed…the tube of your stretch mark cream is on your suitcase so we won't forget it…our passports are in our wallets…" he idly rested his other hand on Yuuri's thigh. "I think it just feels like I'm forgetting things because we don't actually need to bring all that much."

"True. There are a lot of things at the onsen that we have at home." Yuuri rested his hand over Viktor's on his thigh, playing with the ring on his finger.

"One thing that I feel like we're forgetting is baby clothes. We haven't even bought any yet," Viktor mused.

It was probably for the best that they didn't buy too much yet. The first few months of the baby's life would be spent in Hasetsu, and shipping a load of baby supplies was too tedious to do twice. They had been tentatively planning a baby shopping trip once they were settled back in Hasetsu.

As far as baby things went, the only things they had bought so far was a sturdy white crib to go in their room and a stock of diapers. Yuuri's mother had assured them they wouldn't have to buy a crib to keep in Hasetsu; she still had Yuuri's old one in storage, along with a plethora of both his and Mari's old baby clothes, still in excellent condition, because neither she or Toshiya had had the heart to give them away.

"Phichit let it slip that he bought something the last time I talked to him, but he wouldn't tell me what it was." Yuuri breathed out a laugh.

"He told me," Viktor said slyly.

Yuuri lit up. "What is it?"

Viktor rolled his eyes to the side innocently. "Can't tell. You'll like it, though."

Yuuri pouted. "Do I even get a hint?"

"Not unless you want Phichit to smack me next time he sees us." Viktor mimed zipping his lips and throwing away the key.

Yuuri huffed. "Fine…" he moved to sit further up, furrowing his brow and drawing a sharp breath through his nose at the sudden, burning pain in his back.

Viktor gave a sad frown. "Back hurting again?" He squeezed Yuuri's shoulder.

"Yeah," he sighed tiredly, slipping his feet out from underneath Makkachin and prompting a side-eyed look of 'I'm trying to sleep here and you're moving my cushions'. "Laying on the table like that at the doctor didn't feel great." He could also still feel the dull ache of his cervix, having been subjected to another cerclage check. Only a little more than three weeks and it would be taken out.

Viktor's soft lips pressed against his temple. "I'm sorry, love. I would say I could rub it for you, but I have a better idea: let's take a bath together in the big tub. You can lean against me, and the hot water may help. We could use a bath bomb."

Yuuri perked up. "Oh, that does sou— _nngh_ …" the words tightened and ended in a grunt as his uterus contracted, making him lose his train of thought. He clutched his belly, his heart skipping a beat.

Viktor tensed, instantly on high alert. "Braxton Hicks?"

"Mmhm," Yuuri breathed, shifting to sit all the way up and hunch over; he had found that doing so seemed to take a little of the edge off.

Viktor quickly drew one leg up onto the couch and turned to face Yuuri, placing his hands on the sides of the baby bump, and Yuuri rested his forehead on Viktor's shoulder. The slow, burning pull of his muscles drawing taut quickened his breath and raised his heart rate.

"Breathe, Yuuri…" Viktor's fingers sifted through the back of his hair.

"I'm trying," he grated through clenched teeth. His hardened uterus made it difficult to breathe normally, and it never failed to kick his anxiety up several notches. He hated feeling like his breathing was hindered. "Ooooh…" he moaned out as the pain reached a peak, squeezing the couch cushion beneath him with quivering hands. "Ohh, God…"

"Bad one?" Viktor asked softly.

"Kinda," Yuuri managed in a high, strained voice. The grip inside his belly created an ache that seemed to wrap around his entire waist. He blew rapid little puffs of air through his lips, squeezing his eyes shut. 

"You're fine, love, you're okay," Viktor murmured against Yuuri's temple, his thumbs rubbing the rock hard sides of Yuuri's stomach, "it will be over soon…"

Thankfully, Viktor wasn't wrong. After a minute that felt like far longer than one, Yuuri's muscles uncoiled, slowly losing the rigidity and returning to normal. He exhaled an unsteady breath, leaning back and wiping away the sweat that had started to bead on his temples.

"That was a bad one, but at least it was short, I guess…" He cupped his belly in one hand and fanned his shirt with the other, breathing deeply, trying to calm his racing heart. The baby stirred gently within him, probably woken up by the contraction. _Go back to sleep, please_ , he begged silently.

Viktor looked troubled. He bit the inside of his lip, looking down for a moment.

"Yuuri, please, don't take this the wrong way, but…are you sure, _really_ sure, that you're okay to fly the day after tomorrow?" He sounded very wary, eyeing Yuuri like he was expecting him to go off.

Yuuri just stomped out the tiny ember of annoyance in his chest and smiled. "I'm sure, I promise. As long as I'm not having four contractions per hour, it will be okay. I've only been having them a couple of times a day. Remember, the doctor said it would be fine, especially since it's not as long as the last flight." He rubbed Viktor's knee gently.

"It's still thirteen hours," Viktor said quickly, then immediately winced. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't—"

"No," Yuuri said firmly, "you have every right to worry. Flights are scary when pregnancy is involved, I realize that, especially with these false contractions the way they are. But, Viktor, I want to go." He softened his voice. "Kaa-san and tou-san are so excited they can barely stand it. This is their first grandchild, when they thought they were getting none. I want them and Mari to be able to hold him, or her, when they're born. It would mean a lot to me."

Viktor gave a sigh and a weak, self-deprecating smile, rubbing up and down his upper arm in an anxious gesture that Yuuri found sadly familiar. "I know, and I agree with you completely, darling. I'm just worrying, or, rather, voicing the worries. I'm not used to feeling like this, I still don't…really know how to cope with it."

"No, I'm glad you're telling me when you're worried," Yuuri said with a smile, reaching up to cup Viktor's cheek, "it makes me happy that you don't bottle it up and hurt yourself." _Like I do_. "It's good for us to talk like this. You're doing the right thing." Yuuri tried to ignore his mind's scoffing at how hypocritical he was being.

Viktor turned his head to kiss Yuuri's fingers, taking his hand. "So you think you'll be okay for the flight?"

"Definitely." Yuuri nodded with certainty. "And just think, after that, we won't have to fly anymore. We can take the bullet train to Osaka and Nagoya for the NHK Trophy and the Grand Prix Final."

A great deal of the worry visibly melted off of Viktor as he stood. "Oh, thank goodness. That makes me happy."

"Same here, believe me. The flight won't exactly be comfortable with this kid wedged down in my hips…" Yuuri swung his legs off of the couch and accepted Viktor's offered hand, standing to his feet with a long groan. "Now, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, a bath does sound wonderful. I think you're right, it would help my back." His belly was a distinct, tugging weight on it, and the ache was beginning to get to him.

Viktor held up a hand. "Wait! Before we do that, let me take your picture."

Yuuri gave him a confused look as he pulled out his phone, tapping and swiping to access the app. "Why?"

"Because you look cute in what you're wearing!" Viktor declared, taking his hand and ushering him to the window.

Yuuri rolled his eyes. "I look tired, you mean." The bags under his eyes could hold a small child.

"Please?" Viktor's baby blue eyes gained that sweet, innocent look as he held his phone to his chest, melting Yuuri's resistance away.

"Oh, alright," Yuuri sighed, resting his hand on his belly. The warm, early evening sun felt nice on his skin, though he knew it was hovering just above freezing outside. "Where do you want me?"

Viktor lit up in a brilliant, beautiful smile that was a hundred percent worth the extra time standing on his feet. "In front of the window, sideways."

Yuuri groaned in disapproval. "I look _huge_ from the side," he protested, self-consciously fingering the light grey overshirt he wore.

"Yuuri, you look _pregnant_. Your belly is so round and cute! I've never seen someone wear pregnancy so well." Viktor wrapped an arm around Yuuri's shoulders and pressed a firm, humming kiss to his cheek that brought a reluctant smile to his face. "Besides, you're all baby, anyway. You barely even look pregnant from the back, I noticed it earlier."

Yuuri shook his head, unconvinced. "If you say so."

"Oh, I do." Viktor rested one finger on his lips and winked. "Now, hands on the belly."

Yuuri rolled his eyes again, but smiled and complied. "Like this?"

"Hmm…" Viktor stepped back a little. "Hold your shirt to the underside. That way you can tell the shape of it."

"Picky," Yuuri muttered, but moved one hand down his belly, cradling the underside in his hand. He pulled up on it very gently, inwardly marveling at how heavy it felt. "How about this?"

"Perfect." Viktor's eyes roved over him, then he smiled, visibly melting with love. "You're precious," he said softly. Yuuri blushed profusely, looking down. "Okay, on the count of three, ready?"

Yuuri gave a subdued smile. After the shutter had clicked, Viktor studied his phone and nodded his approval. "That's a good picture," he murmured, "you look beautiful."

Yuuri absently rubbed his hipbone; his pelvis was so sore these days because of the baby. "Let me see?" Viktor came closer and slid an arm around his waist, giving him the phone. Viktor hadn't been exaggerating; it was a nice picture, even if Yuuri did look a little worn out. "Wow," he mused, "it really does look like I have a basketball under my shirt…" At least the early evening lighting was nice. Pinkish-orange and soft.

"A baby is much better than a basketball," Viktor joked, briefly kneeling down to wrap his arms around Yuuri's thighs and nuzzle his nose into his belly. "So much cuter." He pressed a kiss to the spot where Yuuri's navel would have been if it wasn't stretched flat, then rested his forehead on the same spot. "God, I can't wait. They're going to be the sweetest, most beautiful baby in the world."

"You're going to be an amazing father." A soft smile pulled at Yuuri's lips. He brushed Viktor's bangs off of his forehead, watching the silver strands fall to the side and sparkle in the light. _Like spun silk…_

Viktor's eyes shone with affection. "And you're going to be an amazing mother." He rose to his feet and kissed Yuuri on the forehead, then laced their fingers together, his smile relaxed and easy. "Ready for a bath?"

"Ah…" Yuuri shuffled sheepishly. "Let me grab a snack first."

Viktor's laughter made Yuuri's heart feel light.

-

**v-nikiforov**

  
♡1,084,478 likes  
They're so precious I just want to cry… ( ´•̥̥̥ω•̥̥̥` )♡ #victorybaby #hesjustsobeautiful #bestillmyheart #imsoinlove #thirtythreeweeks

  
**Raiarain** oh my goodness…how is he still so gorgeous this far into pregnancy, I just?? #victorybaby  
2,490 likes

 **TimeToDuel** this made my day #victorybaby  
904 likes

 **CherryBlossomPanic** pretty sure my ovaries just exploded #victorybaby  
1,489 likes

 **phichit-chu** Aaaaaah so sweet! Little bean is already so loved by so many people :') #victorybaby #unclephichit  
3,509 likes

 **megumin-best-girl** I can't possibly have a bad day after seeing this much adorableness  <3 #victorybaby  
1,424 likes

 **00Ophelia00** lort I can't he's fucking gorgeous. I looked like a gigantic bruised potato when I was that pregnant #victorybaby #howthefuck #teachmeyourways  
1,063 likes

 **christophe-gc**  good grief, he's all baby. that big belly is just precious beyond words <3 #victorybaby #unclechris #gonnabeabigbaby  
2,401 likes

 **v-nikiforov** I KNOW RIGHT. from the back he looks completely normal, then he turns around and it's just like boom, pregnant. he's all baby for sure ♡  
     4,589 likes

 **december-rain** omg he's so cute, how is he so cute?? #victorybaby #viktoryouluckybastard  
934 likes

 **trampledbyturtles15** viktors enthusiasm never fails to put a smile on my face #victorybaby

 **motherfuckingjesseeisenberg** he's so big, wow :o #victorybaby #iwonderifithurts  
730 likes

 **megumin-best-girl** coming from someone who has two kids, it does hurt, but it's so worth it ♡  
     400 likes

 **greatscott2** not a fan of ppl waving there pregnant s/o all over instagram, especially when its a man :/ like why do we need to see this, this is defiantly something to keep at home? my kids are on here  
9 likes

 **yuri-plisetsky** first of all, *their, *it's, *definitely. secondly, if you're going to be a disgusting lowlife who hates on someone for being happy and in love, maybe you shouldn't have reproduced in the first place.  
     78k likes

 **00Ophelia00** fuck, I thought public execution wasn't allowed on the internet #yoholyshithedead  
          2,389 likes

>See 28 more comments

 **sara-crisp** omg! The baby's getting so big! ♡ #victorybaby  
1,816 likes

 **CfghTheAntLord** rocking the baby bump! :D #victorybaby #socute  
738 likes

 **otabek-altin** nice pic. #victorybaby  
1,649 likes

 **sukeota3sisters** we can't wait to see you, @katsuki-y, @v-nikiforov!! #victorybaby  
488 likes

 **v-nikiforov** same here! ♡  
     2,473 likes

 **katsuki-y** I can't either! ^_^  
          2,437 likes

 **broken-doll-dreams** he looks tired, poor bby :( #victorybaby

 **23jumpstreet** awwwww…he's got such a glow. yes, he looks tired, but carrying babies is hard work, man. props to anyone who can, idk if I could do it #victorybaby

 **longlivekingjj** the way he cradles his belly  <33 you can tell he loves the baby so much :') #victorybaby

-

The flames from the candles Viktor had lit danced and quivered, casting amorphous shadows on the wall and throwing their soft, golden glow in every direction. Yuuri had laughed a bit when Viktor pulled the candles out.

 _"How romantic,"_ he had teased. With the candles' warm light bathing the room, it definitely did feel romantic and cozy, like a honeymoon setting in a magazine.

 _"I'll charm you with my ways yet_ , mon cher," Viktor had teased back.

_"Oh, like you haven't already."_

The kiss they had shared had been so sweet.

Viktor helped Yuuri balance as he undressed. He sighed in frustration when he couldn't reach his ankles to pull the pant legs off, so Viktor helped him out of them, and it made Yuuri blush sweetly.

While Yuuri chose a bath bomb and gathered towels and washcloths, Viktor ran the water in the tub, making sure it was just hot enough. He swished his hand in the water, sitting on the side of the tub, but his gaze wasn't on what he was doing.

Yuuri looked so radiant that he took Viktor's breath away. His bare skin was smooth and supple, painted in the golden glow from the candles. The light shimmered in his dark hair and fell across his big belly, highlighting how round and tight it had become. The pregnancy had made him a bit softer, had taken off the hard edges of muscle in his chest and thighs, but to Viktor, it made him even more beautiful. The evidence that he was carrying their baby.

 _Gorgeous_.

"I've never tried this one," Yuuri's voice was quiet, filling the room now that Viktor had turned the water off. He had the prettiest voice Viktor had ever heard. "Rose and jasmine. It's a nice color, too." He held up the bath bomb, which was a pale baby blue.

"Let's use it. Jasmine is supposed to be a relaxing scent." Viktor stripped his own clothes off, chill bumps rising on his skin at the cool air. "I could use some relaxation before tomorrow. Yakov will be working me pretty hard since I'll be on my own for a while in Hasetsu."

Yuuri took his glasses off, folding them and setting them on the side of the sink, doing that adorable squint he always did while his eyes adjusted. Unwrapped bath bomb in hand, he waited while Viktor stepped into the tub, then took his offered hand and stepped in himself, grasping the support rail with the other hand.

Once Viktor was seated, Yuuri dropped the bath bomb in the water with a _plip_ and eased down carefully, having to part his legs around his belly as he sat. They scooted until Viktor was reclined against the sloped side of the tub, and with a little more shifting and grunting from Yuuri, he was tucked with his back against Viktor's chest.

"Comfy?" Viktor asked, thumping the fizzing bath bomb away and watching it turn on the surface of the water. It was already tinting the water a soft periwinkle, and the scent it gave off was deliciously floral and sweet.

Yuuri nodded with a long sigh. "Mm, very. You're surprisingly comfortable. Am I too heavy?"

"Not at all." Viktor reached for the cup they kept by the tub and scooped water into it, then tilted Yuuri's head back with his fingers on his throat and poured the warm, fragrant water over his hair. Yuuri made a happy noise in the back of his throat that made Viktor's heart do a little dance in his chest. Once Yuuri's hair was soaked, he did the same with his own, and it felt so good.

They lay quietly for a while, soaking up the closeness and warmth from each other. The room was relatively silent except for their soft breathing and the occasional drip of water. The hot water encompassing Viktor's knee from all sides felt _heavenly_.

Viktor loved bathing with Yuuri. They had only done it with candles once before, a few nights after they had gotten engaged, and he had forgotten how wonderful and soothing it was. The flames reflected on the surface of the cloudy lavender water, sparkling in the low light. Yuuri was a pleasant weight against him, head rested on Viktor's shoulder, his body warm and soft. It felt so intimate and special.

Viktor lifted one hand, resting it on the side of Yuuri's globe of a belly underneath the water. The apex of it made an adorable, rounded island in the water, slowly rising and falling with Yuuri's breath. "Baby still asleep?"

Yuuri turned his face a little more toward Viktor's neck, nodding. "Probably not for much longer," he sounded a bit sleepy, "he or she has been asleep since the doctor's office, except for a little movement that I felt after the Braxton Hicks. They always move around after I have one, like they're annoyed with me." He breathed out a quiet chuckle.

"Sassy like their mama," Viktor smirked. Yuuri gave a noncommittal snort. Viktor held his other hand to Yuuri's chest, feeling the sturdy beat of his heart against his palm. He loved feeling Yuuri's heartbeat, especially when they were in a close setting like this. Feeling the organ pumping blood through his veins, giving him life…it was awe-inspiring. Especially the knowledge that that same heart was helping give life to their child.

Yuuri made a strange sound and shifted, and Viktor could tell it was out of discomfort.

"Something wrong?" Viktor asked, raising his eyebrows in concern.

Yuuri shook his head, furrowing his brow and blinking in confusion. He lifted a hand and placed it next to Viktor's on his chest. "I…I don't know…" He rubbed with the tips of his fingers, wrinkling his nose. "Weird feeling."

Viktor's heart skipped. "Pain?"

"I don't know, kind of…? Felt kind of like a muscle twinge. Probably nothing to worry about." Still, Yuuri's frown didn't fade for a couple of minutes. Viktor tried not to worry.

Instead, he pressed a long kiss to Yuuri's wet hair, reaching up to rub his fingers over the scent gland in his throat. Yuuri immediately let out a contented sigh, tilting his head further to the side in invitation. Viktor massaged circles into the little spot with the tips of his fingers, causing Yuuri's sweet scent to drift around them.

"Mmnh…" Yuuri made a soft, pleased noise, tilting his chin up to press a brief kiss to Viktor's jawline and then nuzzling his nose into Viktor's own throat. It made Viktor's skin tingle as Yuuri coaxed the pheromones out of him, filling the room with their shared scent. They always smelled so good together. "This is nice…"

"Mhm…" Viktor hummed out. His eyes were slipping shut, his body lulled into relaxation by the hot water and coziness. He buried his nose in Yuuri's hair, breathing his unique scent in with every inhale. "You smell so lovely." Somehow, pregnancy had made Yuuri smell even more enticing. Like a little bit of Viktor's scent was mixed in with his own.

"So do you," Yuuri murmured shyly against his neck, giving it another rub with his nose, then tilting his face up in invitation. Viktor gladly took it, pressing their lips together in a slow, warm kiss that had them smiling against each other's lips.

They kissed languidly for several minutes, deep and hot and wet, the kind of kisses that made Viktor's abdomen drop. Yuuri's kisses were so special. They felt like precious gems that he had gifted to Viktor alone.

Just when he was beginning to get lightheaded, Yuuri released his lips and leaned back, eyes roving over Viktor's face. "I love you so much," he murmured.

"I love _you, solnyshko."_ Viktor lightly pecked Yuuri's lips again, earning a cute, closed-mouth giggle and a sparkle of affection in those beautiful brown eyes.

Viktor felt a shift underneath the hand that was splayed on Yuuri's belly, and his heart instantly melted even further.

"There's my little bean," he whispered, rubbing Yuuri's belly. The tight skin peeking out of the water was speckled with droplets that glittered in the candlelight, and Viktor could see the baby moving slowly just beneath the surface, wiggling and testing tiny limbs.

Yuuri's hand joined his, lacing their fingers together on top of his round stomach. "Well, I enjoyed the peace while I had it," he said with a breathy laugh, though Viktor could tell from his rueful, borderline annoyed tone that he wasn’t really joking. He knew Yuuri didn't get many breaks from the baby's movements anymore.

The baby's little feet pressed up against their joined hands. "Can you believe we're going to be parents?" Viktor asked in wonder, watching the tiny protrusion roll across Yuuri's belly. Yuuri shook his head with a hum. "Sometimes it just…hits me, that…" he rubbed the taut skin, "that's our little boy or girl in there. They're _ours_." His voice became hushed. "We're going to be able to hold them, and love them…they're going to call us mama and daddy." His throat ached, eyes and nose stinging. He bit his lip to compose himself.

"It still doesn't feel real sometimes," Yuuri agreed softly. "I hope we're good parents." He cradled his belly with loving reverence. "I want to be the best one I can possibly be."

"You and me both." Viktor patted Yuuri's stomach. "We'll have a lot to learn, but I'm sure it's that way with all new parents. We can ask your mom and dad for advice, too."

"I know they'll be glad to give it, th— _oh!"_ Yuuri's back arched in an abrupt jerk, causing the water to lap against the sides of the tub. At the same time, his belly rippled strongly underneath Viktor's hand.

"What on earth was that? Are you okay?" Viktor stared down at the bump in alarm.

Yuuri dropped his head back on Viktor's shoulder with a panting groan. "I don't think…the baby's head down anymore," he said weakly in lieu of an answer. He felt around on his upper belly, and Viktor did the same. A hard, round mass could be felt under the tight skin. "Yep, that's the head…" He let out a whimpering sigh, his breathing labored, rubbing his hip bones with both hands.

Viktor felt so bad for him.

"You seem to have a talent for interrupting tender moments, _lapochka_." He stroked the bump very lightly, rubbing one finger over the slight protrusion the baby's head created, his voice dropping to a soft coo. "You must get that from your uncle Yurio."

Yuuri laughed, though it was a resigned, almost sad sound that gave Viktor a strange heaviness in his chest. "I was hoping they'd stay head down…" Yuuri shifted further up; he had slipped down when the baby had made him jump. "Oh, well, I'm sure they'll turn again eventually."

They relaxed for a few more minutes, watching the baby squirm around until the water cooled down a bit, then Viktor helped Yuuri sit up so they could wash up.

Viktor hummed in pleasure as Yuuri scrubbed his hair thoroughly, leaning back into the touch and relishing the feeling of the nails scratching his scalp. The tangy scent of the honeysuckle shampoo filled his nose, mingling with the scent of the bath bomb. After he rinsed, he did the same for Yuuri and helped him wash his back. He rubbed while he washed, making sure to massage gently, drawing soft sighs of happiness from Yuuri.

As they got out and toweled off, Viktor could hear Yuuri's stomach growl, and it made him smile. "We should probably make dinner, sounds like the baby's hungry."

"They are, and I am, too." Yuuri sighed as he struggled to dry his legs. "I'm kind of tired of eating so often, and that's something I never thought I'd say."

Viktor took his own towel and knelt down in front of Yuuri, drying from his knees down and earning a grateful smile. "By all means, then, let's start dinner. I'm hungry myself."

-

Soon, they were in clean pajamas and sitting on the couch with steaming bowls of chicken curry in their laps, though it wasn't exactly what they had meant to make. They had planned on grilling the fresh salmon they had bought earlier that day, but about a minute after Viktor had taken it out of the packaging and started slicing it, Yuuri had gagged and nearly thrown up.

 _"What? What? What's wrong?"_ Viktor had asked frantically, hands hovering over Yuuri as he hunched at the sink with his hand clapped to his mouth, swallowing convulsively, trying not to vomit.

 _"That smells awful,"_ Yuuri had finally managed to gasp out, pulling his shirt up over his nose and squeezing his watering eyes shut. Viktor had taken a confused sniff of the fish and found nothing unusual.

 _"It smells fine to me…"_ Then, a light bulb had gone off. _"Oh, wait, I've read about this. I think this is a pregnancy thing…"_ Viktor had hastily sealed the salmon away in an airtight container, then went to open the window above the sink, fanning the smell away as best he could and shivering at the freezing air. _"Sorry, love, I didn't know."_

Yuuri had offered a feeble laugh through his shirt, leaning against the sink and cradling his belly with his other hand. _"Well, neither did I, so don't feel too bad. It's never affected me like that before. I guess it's safe to say that little bean doesn't like salmon…"_

Yuuri had taken a few minutes to recover; his face had been sickly pale, and it had Viktor wanting to wring his hands. He had stuck the offending salmon in the back of the refrigerator, far out of smelling range until he figured out what to do with it.

Now, Viktor raised an eyebrow at the bowl of lemon-seasoned green apple cubes Yuuri was eating along with the curry. "How can fish smell bad to you, but you eat that with chicken curry?" He took a sip of water.

"I don't know," Yuuri sounded exasperated as he popped a lemon-soaked apple cube into his mouth, "all I know is that it tastes good."

Viktor reached over and took a piece, giving it a hesitant lick. When he bit into it, he found that it wasn't intolerable, just interestingly sour. "Huh." He licked his fingers. "Not terrible." He scooped another bite of chicken and rice into his mouth, savoring the spice. To his surprise, the lingering taste of apple was actually rather pleasant along with the other flavors.

Yuuri laughed, slipping an eager Makkachin a piece of chicken. "To me, it's delicious. I don't know what that says about your child."

"Hopefully they're not sour." They both snickered, then Yuuri pursed his lips thoughtfully at the cubed apples.

"Now that I think about it, this needs some salt."

"Salt?" Viktor asked incredulously, but Yuuri was already setting his bowl to the side and heaving himself off of the couch.

"Yes, salt. Don't ask why, I don't know." He waddled to the kitchen, coming back with the salt shaker and sprinkling the apple cubes with salt.

Viktor shook his head. "What is wrong with that child." He gently poked the side of Yuuri's stomach.

"I have _no_ idea," Yuuri laughed around a bite of apple, the corners of his eyes crinkling with mirth, and the sound was musical and pleasant to Viktor's ears.

 _So cute_.

-

They had gone to bed soon after, since they were both sleepy. The bath had definitely succeeded in relaxing them; Yuuri could barely keep his eyes open, and Viktor wasn't far behind him. They had half-heartedly brushed their teeth and fallen into bed, and sleep overtook them both minutes after their heads hit their pillows.

Viktor woke sometime during the night, facedown in his pillow with his mouth and throat uncomfortably dry. He lay there for a minute in a dreamlike state, blinking dumbly, contemplating why his mouth would be so dry. When he finally kicked himself awake enough to realize he had been sleeping with his mouth open, he slowly pushed himself up with his elbows, rubbing his eye and wincing as he swallowed. His throat felt like sandpaper. His phone supplied the time after a couple of times missing the home button; it was two a.m.

He sighed inwardly when he saw the empty coaster on his night stand. _Forgot to bring a water glass to bed…good job, me._ He managed to make himself slide out of bed, and the shock of cold air snapped him fully awake. He hastily slipped his robe on, tying the belt and stepping into his slippers, then looked back at Yuuri to check on him.

Yuuri was on his side, facing Viktor's half of the bed, conked out. His face was relaxed and peaceful, but he was curled around his big belly, obviously cold but in too deep of a sleep to wake up; the covers had slipped down past his stomach, skewed by his turning in his sleep. Movement caught Viktor's eye, and when he leaned closer, he could clearly see the baby squirming around in Yuuri's womb, even through the pajama shirt he wore. That much movement, at this time of the night? How did he sleep through it…?

Viktor carefully pulled the covers up to Yuuri's neck, tucking them around him with tender care, then placed a light kiss on his soft hair. He didn't budge. _Poor baby, I know you were tired._

Navigating through the dark, quiet house, Viktor poured himself a glass of water in the kitchen, sipping from it and sighing in relief at the cool liquid on his dry throat. Makkachin sleepily ambled into the room, stopping at Viktor's feet and leaning his warm, fluffy body against his leg; Viktor had probably woken him up when he got out of bed. Viktor leaned down to scratch behind his ears, smiling softly when Makkachin yawned.

Feeling restless and contemplative, Viktor wandered to the living room with Makka trailing behind, moving the curtains and peering out the window at the falling snow. The street lights wore foggy haloes, hazed out by the white flakes as they drifted down. After a few weeks of the snow not sticking, the ground was finally building up with a fairly thick layer of snow. The world seemed to be holding its breath, the silence cold and heavy with the promise of the looming winter. He always felt a bit melancholy around this time of year.

He was ready to return to Japan with Yuuri. Sure, he would miss being in Russia, but…Hasetsu felt like a home away from home now. He loved the quiet little town by the sea; it was peaceful, the people were friendly, and the food was amazing. He also knew that Yuuri would feel more comfortable around his family in his last few weeks of carrying the baby. He was already starting to nest, though he probably didn't notice himself doing it.

Viktor finished off the water and took a quick trip to the bathroom, then got back in bed, being careful not to let the warm air out from under the covers as he did. Yuuri was still sleeping soundly, buried in the warm cocoon of the comforter. Makkachin stepped up onto the bed and snuggled down into the space between their feet.

For a long time, Viktor stared at the ceiling with his hands linked on his abdomen, listening to Yuuri's soft breathing, unable to drift back to sleep. The sound of the snow hitting the roof was cozy and relaxing, but sleep still evaded him.

He turned his thoughts to the baby to occupy himself, and his heart immediately fluttered in excitement.

They were so close to meeting their son or daughter.

It was a bit of a nerve-wracking thought, and Viktor knew it was probably even more so for Yuuri. Since Yuuri had expressed that he wanted Viktor there for emotional support while he labored, Viktor had finally worked up the courage to look up videos of childbirth on YouTube to prepare himself, and it…wasn't as bad as he had anticipated, but what he had witnessed had worried him, fascinating though it was. Viktor had never been squeamish, but the thought of Yuuri going through that much pain and trauma was deeply unsettling. He didn't like seeing Yuuri hurt.

He tried not to think about it too much.

Instead, he thought of what the baby would look like. Of finally being able to hold their child after so many long, uncomfortable months of waiting. To give their tiny baby all the love in their hearts.

He couldn't wait.

His eyes closed and he let out a sigh of contentment, relaxing more and more as he let his thoughts wander.

Just as he was slipping into the soft darkness of sleep, a noise roused him into opening his eyes again.

A quiet, hitching gasp, then a whimper.

Viktor quickly turned his head to look at Yuuri, and his heart sped up at the pained, fearful expression on his face, his eyes still closed and moving rapidly beneath the lids.

Viktor hated that it was a familiar sight now.

"Yuuri," he whispered sharply, sitting up and taking hold of Yuuri's shoulders to gently shake him. Yuuri's expression just pinched further, tears slipping down his temples, and he choked out a sob, still trapped in the confines of whatever nightmare he was having. Makkachin gave a whine of alarm at the end of the bed, sitting up and crawling closer.

Viktor patted Yuuri's cheek firmly, trying to calm his own stuttering heartbeat. "Yuuri, come on, love," he said, raising his voice, "wake up."

Yuuri's chest caved with his sobbing breaths, forcing out a ragged noise of distress that had every fiber of Viktor's being screaming at him. _He's in trouble, he's upset! Help him! Protect him!_

"Yuuri!" he tried again, voice raised almost to a shout, and Yuuri's eyes finally snapped open, dilated in horror and full of tears.

"Please, don't—" his voice whistled with half-awake fright, then he froze, the fog clearing from his eyes as they met Viktor's.

Viktor breathed a sigh of relief that he had been fairly easy to wake this time.

"It's me, Yuuri, it's okay," Viktor soothed, cupping Yuuri's pale face in his hands as he started to cry softly, "you're okay, it was just a dream. Nothing can hurt you here, _miliy_ , it wasn't real…" Yuuri's hands came up to grasp his wrists, like he was trying to ground himself in reality. His body was still quivering with fear.

"I'm sorry," his voice wobbled, breathing uneven and shuddery, "I'm sorry…" Makkachin moved to gently rest his chin on Yuuri's leg, as if to offer him support.

"Oh, sweetheart, don't apologize, it's okay." Viktor kissed his forehead. "I was already awake. I'm just glad you're awake now." Yuuri's chest was still rising and falling rapidly. Viktor held his fingers to his damp neck. "Do you feel sick this time?" His pulse had to be at least a hundred and twenty.

"I-I don't think so…" Yuuri panted deep, gasping breaths through his mouth. He was right on the edge of hyperventilating.

"Try to breathe slowly," Viktor coaxed, taking Yuuri's hand and holding it flat to his own chest, over his heart. He breathed in and out deeply, and Yuuri struggled to follow the pattern with shaking breaths, sniffling and wiping his tears as he did. "That's it, love, nice and even, in and out…" Makkachin gave Yuuri's other hand a soft lick.

Yuuri gradually calmed down, and the fear on his face was replaced with the silent shame that always came afterward. It made Viktor's chest ache.

Viktor's mind tried to stop his mouth before he spoke, but it didn't succeed.

"Yuuri, please talk to me," he begged, then immediately wanted to pull the words back into his mouth when Yuuri's eyes widened.

Yuuri looked off to the side, avoiding his gaze, his eyes darting from side to side.

Viktor's shoulders slumped. He stroked his fingers down Yuuri's cheek, wiping away the moisture that glistened in the light from the streetlights outside.

He didn't expect him to answer, because Yuuri never did.

He was just about to lay back down when Yuuri's voice stopped him.

"I…I just don't want to…"

Viktor held his breath as Yuuri spoke haltingly. He was quiet for a minute, biting his lip and resting his hand on his round side. He was obviously struggling with himself.

"The stuff I dream, I don't…Viktor, it's awful. It's... _sickening_." The word cracked in his throat. "I…I don't want you to have to hear any of it." His voice was low, eyes haunted and full of pain.

Viktor clenched Yuuri's hand on his chest. "What happens, in the dreams," he wavered desperately, then inwardly smacked himself for asking immediately after Yuuri had said that. He was torn between not saying anything now that Yuuri was actually talking and letting the words stream out of him like a fountain.

Yuuri closed his eyes in dread. "I don't…it…it usually ends up w-with…either you or the b-baby…" he trailed off, voice becoming thin with suppressed tears. His fingers tightened on his belly and his face crumpled. "S…sometimes it's both of you. Very vividly."

Viktor's heart broke into pieces in his chest.

"Oh, _Yuuri_ ," he whispered, laying back down next to him and thanking the heavens that Yuuri was finally lowering his defenses. He cautiously wrapped Yuuri in his arms, experiencing a sad sort of relief to hear Yuuri burst into tears, the kind of deep, heaving sobs that released the weight of pent-up emotions.

No wonder Yuuri always cried like someone had died afterward. Viktor felt vaguely sick just thinking about it.

Yuuri cried for a good ten minutes, but they weren't quite the same grief-stricken, sorrowful sobs of previous times. They sounded like tears of relief, of pouring out tension and worry. Constructive tears, with a worn-out edge to them. Viktor rubbed up and down his back, pressed kiss after kiss to his hair and face, unable to keep from tearing up himself. He was simultaneously overjoyed that Yuuri was opening up to him after so many weeks of suffering alone, and heartbroken that Yuuri had felt like he _had_ to suffer alone.

As if to answer his thoughts, unbridled apologies spilled from Yuuri's lips. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Viktor," he whimpered into Viktor's shirt, breath hitching, "it's just…it's so hard to think about, much less _talk_ about, and I-I just…you don't want describe how many times you've seen someone die, much less y-your…" he sniffled and swallowed hard, not finishing the sentence. "I..I didn't want to heap that burden on you after I've b-been such a burden already this whole ti—"

Viktor felt the baby give a heavy, upward lurch through the walls of Yuuri's belly, pressed against his own abdomen, and Yuuri cut himself off with a choked gasp and a pained, strangled cry, clutching his stomach. The force of it made Viktor's eyes widen in shock. It seemed to cause something in Yuuri to break, and his tears returned full force. "I'm so _tired!"_ He wailed pitifully.

Viktor's pulse quickened at the near hysteria in Yuuri's voice. "Yuuri, shhh, it's okay," he tried to soothe, but Yuuri coughed out another sob and shook his head violently, his hands tightly clenched in Viktor's shirt

"It's _not!"_ His voice cracked, and Viktor felt the baby writhe again, "I'm sick of being in pain all the time! I'm sick of being scared and having nightmares! I'm sick of bogging you down with stupid emotional baggage! I'm sick of the baby constantly moving, they just _never_ get tired, Viktor! I'm just…" he rubbed his face in Viktor's neck in a weak, needy gesture, his sobs hiccuping and growing soft, almost ashamed. "I'm s-so sick of being pregnant."

Viktor's bottom lip quivered at the words.

Yuuri dissolved into weary, anguished weeping, like the fight had left him completely. The hollow sound was like a razor being sawed into Viktor's heart.

He held Yuuri while he cried, feeling very small and helpless. This was probably the work of Yuuri's hormones, but…

_What can I do…?_

Yuuri nosed into his neck again, and suddenly he knew.

He gently turned Yuuri on his back and leaned over him, then pressed his throat to Yuuri's, rubbing their skin together and kicking up their shared pheromones. Yuuri's crying trailed off and he made a soft, questioning sound in the back of his throat, sliding his arms around Viktor and holding him as close as he could with the baby bump in between them. Viktor could actually feel Yuuri relaxing in his arms as he scented him; he realized that it had been far too long since they had done it properly.

Once Yuuri's throat was thoroughly scented, Viktor picked Yuuri's hands up and pressed the wrists to his own neck, rubbing them up and down the sides of his throat. Yuuri blinked up at him with tear-filled eyes, the fear gone from his face and replaced with the most unwavering trust Viktor had ever seen him express. His hands were limp as he willingly let Viktor scent him, and when Viktor let go, Yuuri pulled Viktor's wrists down to reciprocate. Viktor found himself calmed by the intimate gesture just as much as Yuuri was.

"How do you put up with me…?" Yuuri finally whispered brokenly, clutching Viktor's hand as if it was the only thing keeping him from blowing away. He looked so small and fragile, though Viktor knew he was just the opposite.

Viktor leaned down to kiss him gently, tasting the salt from his tears, and when he leaned back, he reached under Yuuri's shirt and rested a hand on the protruding baby bump.

"Because I love you, Yuuri. Even when you're exhausted and in pain and at the end of your rope." He rubbed in a circle, feeling the shift and press of the baby through the warm skin. "I don't want you to suffer alone. I'm so sorry you have to deal with those horrid dreams." Viktor reached to brush Yuuri's bangs to the side with one finger, feeling guilty. "I wish I could take them away for you."

Yuuri's expression was no longer shut off and guarded. "They started pretty soon after I almost lost the baby," he confessed, his eyes sad, "I just…worry, I worry so _much_ that something bad will happen again. It's hard to…" he seemed to be struggling to find the right words, "to have a tiny human depend on you to keep them alive. It's…such a huge, scary responsibility on your shoulders. I think that's why I have the dreams, because I'm so terrified of losing the baby. We've waited for so long…" Another tear slipped down his cheek, and Viktor caught it with the tip of his finger. "I don't know what I would do if…if…"

Viktor nodded slowly, trying to come to terms with the fact that this had been going on for far longer than he had thought. Nearly _four months_.

"Yuuri, the baby is healthy," he reminded gently. "You just have to think of that. The chances of something bad happening are fairly low."

"I know that, but my brain doesn't seem to. It's like it's still stuck in 'you nearly miscarried so I'm primed for panic' mode. That's why I get so frustrated when I have a nightmare, because I know it's not very likely for something bad to happen. I feel…trapped, by that panic. It's like it will never go away." His lips trembled. The baby rolled, slowly pushing Yuuri's skin up just below his ribs, and he let out a closed-mouth whimper and closed his eyes, his brow creasing in pain.

_Oh, love, I'm so sorry…_

Viktor leaned to press a kiss to his forehead. "It will, darling. I promise."

Yuuri's hand fell to his belly, his eyes red and wet. "I'm sorry I haven't talked to you about it. I didn't want to drag you down with me." He sniffled, reaching for a tissue.

"I'm glad you told me," Viktor murmured, rubbing Yuuri's belly comfortingly, "I'm sorry you're tired and hurting, Yuuri. I know it can't be easy to be this pregnant."

Yuuri shook his head. "It's the hardest thing I've ever gone through," he admitted, wiping his face and blowing his nose.

"At least you're almost done now," Viktor encouraged, giving the bump a pat. "Only six more weeks. I know you can do it, love. You're the strongest person I know." He leaned to kiss the tip of Yuuri's nose. "It will all be worth it in the end."

A faint, willowy smile pulled on Yuuri's lips. "At least I have you to make it better until then." They snuggled back down into their normal sleeping position, with Yuuri's belly on Viktor's abdomen. The baby was still squirming.

"Sleep, _solnyshko_. You and the baby are safe with me," Viktor whispered, pressing a kiss to Yuuri's flushed cheek.

Exhausted, Yuuri only nodded silently and held Viktor's hand, threading their fingers together. Makkachin snuggled back down between their legs, satisfied that Yuuri was okay.

As Yuuri's breathing evened out and the baby's movements slowed, Viktor exhaled a long, slow sigh of relief.

There were many things that Yuuri didn't trust, but Viktor was slowly becoming one of the things that he did.

He kissed the top of his sleeping fiancé's head, smiling into his soft hair and blinking back weary tears of joy.

_Thank you for letting me in._

-

_33 weeks, 6 days_

 

Yuuri felt a thousand times better.

It was like a cloud that had been hanging over him for months had finally dissipated. The sun streaming through the floor-to-ceiling windows of the rink even seemed a little brighter now. He really had felt like he had been all alone, despite the fact that he and Viktor spent nearly every moment of every day together. Now that he had gotten all of that worry off of his chest, he felt light as a feather, no longer burdened. He had almost forgotten what unfiltered happiness felt like.

Viktor seemed happier, too. He skated with renewed vigor and a wide smile on his face, and during a break in his practice, he horsed around with Georgi and Mila, racing them and laughing. Yuuri hadn't seen him enjoy a practice so much in weeks. He had never intended to hurt Viktor by keeping the nightmares from him, but now, he realized that it had.

He needed to fix that.

Yuri walked through the door thirty minutes before the lunch break, looking exhausted and squinty-eyed, nursing an iced coffee and glaring at anyone that approached him. Despite that, he plopped down on the bench next to Yuuri, raising his chin in greeting. Yuuri just smiled, knowing that if he wanted to talk, he would talk first.

They silently watched the skaters for a few minutes. Yuri took periodic sips of his coffee, his green eyes shrewdly studying the others as they practiced their routines. After a while, he grunted out a disapproving noise when Georgi overrotated and fell. Viktor and Mila helped him up, laughing and teasing all the while, and Yakov thundered at them to stop playing around. Yuuri didn't miss the slight furrow of Viktor's brow, aimed at Yakov.

"Baby doing alright?" Yuri finally asked, setting his drink down and rolling the hair tie off of his wrist. He separated his hair into two sections.

Yuuri nodded, looking down at his protruding belly. "Very well. Kicking away in there." There had been steady movements over the course of the last hour or so, but they were soft and lazy, a welcome contrast to the painful movements of the night before.

Yuri jerked his head in a sharp nod. "That's good." He looked down at Yuuri's belly. "She's getting big."

Yuuri cradled his stomach. "Mhm. Nearly five pounds now. Supposed to weight between seven and eight when I deliver."

"Wow." Yuri fell silent again, methodically twisting his hair over itself into a fishtail braid.

Yuuri crossed his legs underneath him with a little difficulty, leaning back on his hands once he got situated to take some of the pressure off of his lungs. Now that the baby wasn't wedged into his hips, they had taken to camping out in his upper belly again, much to his resignation.

"Hey, Yuri?" He breathed.

"What?"

He tried not to laugh at the short, barking word. "How can you be so sure the baby's a girl?"

Yuri stopped braiding and looked at him in confusion.

Yuuri cocked his head to the side and clarified. "You know, mothers are supposed to be able to sense that, somehow…but I don't really feel inclined one way or the other." It was a little frustrating, actually. People seemed incredulous that he had no idea.

When Yuri offered no answer, Yuuri waved his hand in dismissal. "Never mind, I was just curious."

Yuri gave an ambiguous shrug, tying off the end of his braid. "I don't know for sure. It all started months ago, back when you were still like…sick, or whatever. Before the bad shit happened. We were talking about it one day, and Viktor told me he wouldn't mind having a girl."

Yuuri sat up a little straighter. "Oh?" Any time he asked Viktor, he always just said he'd be happy with either one. He hadn't known he was hoping for a girl.

Another shrug as Yuri pulled his skates out of his duffel bag and slipped them on to lace them up. "Just what he told me. It stuck." He laced the skates quickly, standing up to walk to the divider. Yuuri could see the reluctance in his face and posture.

"Yuri."

He stopped without turning around.

Yuuri chose his words carefully. "Try not to get discouraged. Okay?"

Yuri turned his head slightly, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. He nodded.

"I won't."

He stepped off and skated away. Yuuri watched him go, smiling fondly to himself. Yuri was too stubborn and rebellious to give up so easily.

A pang of nostalgia hit his heart as he watched Viktor brighten when Yuri approached. Georgi punched the teen's shoulder affectionately and Mila gave him a hug, prompting him to duck away and growl. Yuuri bit the inside of his lip to keep it from trembling; Yuri was taller than her now. The familiar burn of tears stung his eyes.

It was a bit like watching your little brother grow up. He wondered if Mari had felt the same when he had surpassed her in height. God, he couldn't wait to see her again. Video chats just weren't the same as a face-to-face conversation.

Lilia caught his eye from across the rink, giving him a short wave and a nod of acknowledgment, and he waved back, knowing now that the curt gesture was a friendly one. Her gaze darted to Yakov, a few feet away from her, and the expression on her face darkened into something…angry? She exchanged a few Russian words with him, her eyes glancing back at Yuuri a couple of times, and Yakov almost seemed to wince.

Huh. What was that about?

Yuuri didn't think any more of it until a few minutes before the skaters took their lunch break. Someone sat next to him, and when he turned to look, he was surprised to see that it was Yakov.

The old man was quiet for several minutes, and Yuuri could sense that he was far out of his comfort zone.

"Coach Feltsman?" He asked hesitantly.

Yakov finally spoke, spurred on by Yuuri breaking the silence.

"I'd like to clear some things up."

Yuuri was confused for a moment, then his heart skipped a beat. He cleared his throat, suddenly nervous. "What about?"

"You were listening, that day." Yakov grunted, as casual as if he were talking about the weather.

Yuuri's breathing grew shallow. "What?"

"Lilia saw you."

Yuuri wracked his memory. He had been in a panic and hadn't noticed.

His mouth grew dry, and his throat constricted. "I, Coach Feltsman, I'm—"

"I'll have you know, Katsuki, that she gave me the worst tongue lashing of my life that day." The old man scowled.

Yuuri wrung his hands. No wonder she had been glaring at Yakov like that.

The compulsory need to apologize welled in his chest. "I'm sorry, it's m—"

"And she was right to."

Yuuri stopped short. "…what?"

Yakov let out a slow, weary sigh, his gaze on the rink. On Viktor. "I should never have said the things I said, even if I thought you weren't around to hear. It was…uncalled for." He rubbed his calloused knuckles, his brow furrowed. "And I owe both you and Vitya an apology, but I would at least like to explain why I said the things I said. They weren't exactly said carelessly."

Yuuri slowly nodded. He had never seen Yakov so hesitant.

"Now, I'm not justifying my rudeness, mind you. But when it comes to Vitya…" They watched as Viktor executed a perfect quad toe loop out on the ice, his face open and happy. "Vitya is…well, I guess you could call him emotionally dependent. He's been that way all his life. There's probably a better-fitting term for it that I don't know."

"Codependency…?" Yuuri supplied, frowning.

"Perhaps not that extreme in his case, no, but his mother was a textbook case, God rest her soul. As I'm sure he's already told you, he lost both of his parents in the span of less than a year." Yuuri nodded in response, and Yakov continued. "The months after his mother died were the worst I had ever seen him go through. I…" Yakov paused, seeming to deflate. He looked every bit of his seventy years, worn out and burdened by the world. "I worried for his safety."

Yuuri felt the heaviness of dread in his chest. He didn't want to hazard a guess as to what that meant.

Yakov stared out at the rink. "When he flew off to Japan to coach you without telling me, it drove a wedge between us that, I will readily admit, he has tried multiple times to mend. I had done my best to help him out of his depression, and it felt like he had callously tossed that aside, which I now understand was ridiculous and selfish of me."

"I understand why you would have felt that way, though," Yuuri said gently.

"It still wasn't right of me. I've been a stubborn old idiot." Yakov sighed, fingering the end of his scarf. "Vitya is something of a son to me. I never had children of my own, though we…" Yakov's gaze drifted to Lilia, who was pointedly ignoring him. He looked back down, then closed his eyes. "Well…perhaps it was for the best." His voice was grieved.

 _Oh_. Yuuri's heart ached.

"So when you came along and were able to make Vitya genuinely smile again, I was wary of you, and I didn't trust you. He had gotten attached to you prior, I'm sure you know."

Yuuri winced inwardly. If only he could remember it.

"I thought you were a whim, at first. Something that Vitya wanted simply because he was bored, or being rebellious. I put his skating career before his happiness, which was something I was guilty of in my own life." Yakov chewed his lip, then continued. "When Vitya told me you had gotten engaged, it worried me. I thought he was rushing things, and I was concerned that he would become too dependent on you." Yakov glanced down at Yuuri's belly. "And when he told me you were expecting a baby, it worried me even more."

A flood of embarrassment heated Yuuri's cheeks, though it probably wasn't Yakov's intent.

"When you were in the hospital a few months ago, he nearly had a breakdown, because he thought he was going to lose you and the child. I called him the next day and said some things I'm not proud of, because I thought you had proved me right." Yakov rubbed the inside corners of his eyes with his fingertips, shaking his head. "That was…abhorrent of me. I didn't remotely deserve the forgiveness he gave."

Yuuri's throat ached fiercely as he recalled the terror on Viktor's face that day. He never wanted to see Viktor that scared again.

"I see now how wrong I've been." Yakov heaved a sigh. "He loves you. You've turned out to be his inspiration when I thought you would be an obstacle, and for that, I have to thank you. I've never seen him so happy."

Yuuri looked down, trying to discretely wipe his tears. Yakov patted his back a bit roughly.

"Now, don't do that. Lilia will have my hide. She already nearly took it once." A tearful giggle escaped Yuuri, and Yakov growled without venom. "What a thing to laugh at. She's a scary woman when she's angry, you know."

"I bet," Yuuri agreed, wiping his tears away under his glasses.

Yakov's hands tightened on his knees. "In any case, I'm sorry I treated you the way I did. Those words were…the ramblings of a selfish old man who wishes the clock could be turned back."

Yuuri smiled timidly. "It's okay. I'm sorry I made you worry like that."

"Bah, wasn't your fault in the slightest." Yakov waved him off.

A pretty strong kick to Yuuri's side caught his attention, and he rested his hand over the spot, hiding his wince as best he could. Yakov's brows drew together. "Are you in pain?"

"Ah, not really, the baby's just getting stronger. It hurts a little if they kick me hard enough." The baby rolled over slowly, but the movement was gentle. Yuuri breathed a sigh of relief.

Yakov's face softened. "I see." He made a sound that could have been a chuckle. "Never thought my Vitya would turn out to be a father." His voice thickened almost imperceptibly. "How time flies."

"I think he'll be a good one," Yuuri murmured.

"I think you're right. And please, don't take this the wrong way, but…take care of him. For all of his grandeur, he has a very fragile heart. Though, now, I see that I can trust you with it." Yakov stared straight ahead, but Yuuri recognized the weight of his words.

It was as close to a parental blessing as he was going to get.

"I love him, coach. I'll take good care of him," he vowed quietly.

Yakov's chin dipped in a curt nod. He moved to get up and walk away, and Yuuri gave one final promise.

"When the baby comes, you and Madame Baranovskaya will have to come visit. I'll want them to meet their other grandparents, after all."

Yakov's posture straightened, and he turned halfway around. His lips trembled in the closest thing to a genuine smile Yuuri had ever seen on his face. He nodded with pursed lips, and Yuuri could tell that his eyes were a bit misty and he was fighting back tears.

Once Yakov had turned away, Yuuri wasn't positive, but he could have sworn he saw Lilia give him a conspiratorial wink from across the arena.

Viktor, Georgi, and Mila skated to the barrier, breathless and laughing.

"Doing okay, love?" Viktor asked, catching his breath and wiping his face with his towel.

"Mhm." Yuuri gazed after Yakov as he walked away, his shoulders stooped with emotion. Compassion for the lonely old man filled his heart.

He turned back to Viktor, accepting the chaste kiss that Viktor dropped to his mouth and reveling in the cooing "aww's" that Georgi and Mila gave.

When he pulled back, he smiled up into those pretty blue eyes.

"More than okay."

-

_Oh, come on…_

Viktor combed his sopping bangs to the side with his fingers and growled inwardly, seeing through the shower door for the first time that he had forgotten to bring clean underwear with him to the bathroom.

Of all the days to forget. It was so cold, and he wasn't about to disturb Yuuri, who was settled in bed reading already. God knew he needed all the rest he could get after his fitful sleep the night before.

He sighed, resigning himself to a hurried trek to the bedroom wearing nothing but a towel.

He twisted around in the shower to turn the water off.

Hot pain stabbed from his left knee up to his hip, punching the breath from his chest and causing his knees to buckle.

He caught himself with the support rail on pure reflex, his eyes slowly widening in shock. Cold fear zapped through his chest, freezing him in place.

He stood there on one leg for a moment in the warm spray of the shower, hardly daring to breathe, his heart in his throat. Gently, he put more weight on his left leg, and winced at the ache he felt. Not as bad, but…

As quickly and safely as he could, he sat on the shower floor and extended his knee out in front of him, very carefully moving it and testing his range of motion. He continued for several minutes, and it got better with every stretch, no longer hurting as bad.

He breathed a shaky sigh, holding his hand to his chest. The ligament had probably caught awkwardly again. That seemed to be happening with increasing frequency lately…

He leaned his head back onto the wall, covering his eyes, his lip quivering.

_Please, just…let it hold out for a couple more years. Please. I don't want to let him down._

He stood up slowly, feeling nearly dizzy with relief when his knee gave no further protest.

He stepped out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist, stalking to the dresser in their bedroom, feeling very irritated with himself. Chill bumps pricked his skin from the cold air.

He rummaged through the drawer, finally coming up with a pair of boxer briefs amid the sea of shirts and lone socks. _I really need to arrange this better…_ It was the one part of the house that stayed messy. Yuuri's drawer, right beneath this one, was always neat and tidy.

"Aw, I could have brought that to you," Yuuri's voice sounded from the bed, where he was reclined with Makkachin snuggled up to his belly, scrolling through his phone. Viktor envied him; he looked warm and cozy.

"No sense in you getting up, you're settled in." Viktor dropped the towel to the floor, biting his lip on a smirk when he heard a wolf whistle behind him, and pulled the boxer briefs on with exaggeratedly sexy flourish as he turned around, taking care not to twist his knee again.

"Oooh, take me now," Yuuri sighed flirtatiously, clasping his hands to the side and batting his long, dark eyelashes.

Viktor laughed, bending his good knee to pick up the towel and hang it on the bathroom door. "I would if if wasn't so damn tired. And cold." He shivered and rubbed his upper arms.

"Come here." Yuuri lifted the covers in invitation.

Viktor danced from foot to foot as he hopped lightly to the bed, feet stinging when it met the parts of the floor that the plush rug didn't cover. He deftly slipped under the blankets in one smooth motion, snuggling up to Yuuri's side—oh, he was so incredibly _warm_ , it felt delicious. Yuuri wrapped his arm around Viktor's shoulders, and Viktor slid an arm behind his back to hug him close, throwing a leg over his thighs.

Yuuri chuckled. "Didn't know I was engaged to an octopus." He tightened his arm around Viktor briefly, kissing the top of his head. "Wow, you are freezing…" he rubbed up and down Viktor's arm to help warm him up.

Viktor nodded into Yuuri's chest, closing his eyes and letting out a slow, humming sigh of contentment. "You feel wonderful, love." The warmth seeped into his very bones. Coupled with Yuuri's scent in his lungs, he was limp and relaxed in seconds. He reached over Yuuri's chest and rubbed Makkachin's ears, earning a happy whine.

"You'll be nice and toasty soon enough." Yuuri's hand moved to stroke his hair. Viktor loved it when Yuuri was this affectionate. He let his eyes drift shut for a few minutes, soothed by Yuuri's gentle touch.

It had been a long day, but in a good way. The tiredness in his muscles was pleasant and well earned. His knee still hurt, but it had faded to a dull ache. It would be fine.

Yuuri's cool, slender fingers sifting through his hair nearly put him to sleep, but he knew that one, his mouth would feel awful the next morning if he didn't brush his teeth, and two, he wanted to put pajamas on so he wouldn't get too cold during the night. So, he drew in a deep breath, blinking rapidly and rubbing his eyes, trying to make himself get up. His limbs felt pleasantly heavy, and it wasn't easy.

"Thought you had drifted off there for a minute," Yuuri murmured, smoothing Viktor's bangs off off his forehead with one finger. His brown eyes had that pretty reddish tint that the warm light from their bedside lamp always gave. Viktor couldn't help but smile up at him; he looked so soft and beautiful.

"I wish I didn't have to get up, you're so warm." Viktor rubbed his cheek on Yuuri's chest as he got up, and he thought he saw a flicker of pain on Yuuri's face, but it was gone in less than a second. "I should have done like you and just brushed my teeth right after showering."

Yuuri's breathing suddenly seemed a little labored as he spoke. "Would you mind bringing me a glass of water and a pill while you're up? I think I'm feeling heartburn." He rested a hand over his chest.

Viktor slid out of bed and hurriedly tied his robe on when the cold air hit his skin, temporarily forgetting the pain in his knee. "Of course. Is it making you feel sick?" He knew that, at one time, the heartburn had been bad enough to make Yuuri feel nauseated.

"No. I don't think so, anyway…" Yuuri's voice seemed to be growing taut, and his brow was beginning to crease.

Viktor's pulse jumped. "Are you okay? You sound like you're in pain."

Yuuri nodded, his eyes gaining that tired, resigned look again. "Braxton Hicks is starting up, that's all. It doesn't feel very good."

"I'm sorry, love." Viktor leaned down to kiss Yuuri's forehead. "I'll hurry back."

"Okay." Yuuri gave a thin half-smile.

Viktor retrieved the pill and water, grabbing an additional glass for himself, and returned to the bedroom. He found Yuuri still propped up in the bed, his eyes closed and a frown of intense concentration pulling his dark brows down. His hands gripped the comforter tightly, and his chest and belly rose and fell in slow, deliberate breaths. Makkachin was restless, pawing at Yuuri's leg and whining nervously, as if he could sense that something was hurting him.

Viktor set the water and pill down on the night stand, then sat on the edge of the bed, folding his good leg underneath himself. He gently rested his hand on Yuuri's protruding belly, deciding to forego verbal encouragement and instead simply rubbing up and down the rigid skin. Yuuri's earlier remark about his belly being a basketball came back to mind; it certainly felt similar to one right now. Viktor couldn't help but feel amazed at how strong his uterine muscles were.

He studied Yuuri's face, the pinch of pain between his brows, the tightness of his jaw, the sweat glittering on his forehead. Pity tugged at his heart, accompanied by pride.

 _He's so strong_.

The false contraction slowly ebbed away underneath Viktor's hand. Eventually, Yuuri opened his eyes and sighed shakily, pressing the back of his hand to his pain-flushed cheek.

"You okay?" Viktor asked quietly, and Yuuri nodded faintly, wiping his damp forehead and picking up the water and pill from the night stand.

"Wasn't as bad as that one yesterday, thank God. I've been reading up on breathing techniques to try during contractions, and it did seem to help a little." Yuuri popped the pill into his mouth and chased it down with the water. Makkachin still looked a bit uneasy, watching Yuuri as if he expected something bad to happen. They both petted his head and ears. "It's okay, Makka, I'm fine," Yuuri reassured, and Makkachin reluctantly laid back down, cuddling extra close to the baby bump this time. Yuuri smiled down at him. "I've never seen such a protective dog. Has he ever been around babies before?"

"Mm, not babies, but toddlers, yes. My nephew was about two when I first got him, and Makka was great with him and his older sister." Viktor ruffled Makkachin's fur affectionately.

"Aww…" Viktor saw the curiosity dancing in Yuuri's eyes, but as usual, he didn't ask very personal questions, like he was afraid of dredging up bad memories for Viktor. "You've had him what…twelve years?"

"Thirteen, almost fourteen now." Viktor leaned down to kiss the top of Makkachin's fluffy head, earning a lick to the chin. "He's in wonderful health for his age. His mother lived to be twenty-three."

"Whoa…" Yuuri sounded impressed.

Viktor's smile faded a little, though he tried not to let it. "He was a gift from my parents, on my fifteenth birthday. Mama picked him out."

He had been in such disbelief, he remembered. He had hugged little Makkachin to his chest, tears of shock tears welling in his eyes, asking over and over if his mother and father were serious. His mother had laughed her beautiful, musical laugh and assured him that yes, they were serious, and Makkachin was really his. He had been beside himself for quite some time.

Yuuri's smile was tinged with sadness and regret. "Well, she had good taste, then." He rubbed Makkachin's back. "Isn't that right, Makka?" He received no answer; the poodle was dozing.

"Indeed she did." Viktor summoned the effort to get up, hurrying to the bathroom to put his pajamas on and kicking himself mentally for not bringing them with him.

Out of sight of Yuuri, he leaned against the sink and bent over, taking his knee in his hands. Through gentle pressing, he found the pinpoint of pain, slightly to the right of the pale, faded surgical scar on his skin, in the soft space between his bone and knee cap.

He sighed quietly through his nose, closing his eyes briefly against the ache in his heart.

Carefully, he put his pajamas on, hardly daring to touch his knee as he pulled the pants on, then brushed his teeth. Even to him, the eyes looking back at him from the mirror were sad.

When he sat back down on the bed, Yuuri spoke thoughtfully.

"Viktor?"

"Yes?" He folded the covers back and moved to slip underneath them.

"I think you should wait to practice again until a few days before the NHK Trophy."

Viktor froze.

"You're favoring your knee, sweetheart." Yuuri's voice was gentle. The endearment only did a little to take the hurt away.

Viktor gave up all pretenses, sighing heavily in defeat.

"It hurts," he confessed in a whisper, his throat catching.

Yuuri opened his arms, and Viktor sank into his embrace, pressing his lips together to stave off the sudden urge to cry.

"I know," Yuuri whispered back, lips pressed to the top of Viktor's head, warm and soft. "I noticed it was hurting you at the rink today. Scale of one to ten?"

Viktor mulled over his answer. "…maybe a seven?"

Yuuri was quiet for a few minutes, stroking Viktor's hair with his fingertips.

"Ice or heating pad."

Viktor closed his eyes. "Yuuri—"

Yuuri cut him off. "Viktor. Which one."

"You don't have to," he protested weakly.

"I obviously want to."

"I…well, ice, I guess…it needs to be numbed—but Yuuri, you're tired, you're way more tired than me. You need to be resting—"

Yuuri paid him no mind, slipping out from underneath the covers and sticking his feet in his slippers. "How many pain pills do you take?"

Viktor whined. "Yuuriii—"

_"Viktor."_

He went limp in surrender. "Two."

Yuuri padded slowly out of the room, supporting his belly with one hand. In his place, Makkachin shuffled closer, resting his chin on Viktor's butt. He rolled his eyes down at his dog. "Thanks," he whispered, reaching down to lightly poke Makkachin's fluffy forehead. All he got was an adoring gaze in reply, and he couldn't help but smile back.

Yuuri was back in less than a minute, carrying the frozen gel ice pack in one hand and the pills in the other. Viktor bit his lip on a smile at Yuuri's waddling gait. His hips never used to sway so much when he walked. It was so adorable.

Yuuri sat down on the bed with a huff, handing the pills and pack to Viktor and gently moving Makkachin so he could get back under the covers. He drew his legs up onto the mattress, snuggling back against the pillows and letting Makkachin curl up against his belly again.

"Thank you," Viktor murmured, "you didn't have to." He took the pills and wrapped the pack around his knee, his skin tingling at the sudden cold.

Yuuri patted Viktor's thigh. "I worry, Viktor. At least let me help you when I can. I may be a little clumsy, but I can still get around." He rested his other hand on the mound his baby bump created in the covers. Viktor scooted closer to him, resting his head on Yuuri's shoulder and placing his own hand on the bump. Yuuri wrapped his warm arm around Viktor's shoulders. "I wish you would just tell me when you're hurting." He sounded a bit wounded.

Viktor's eyelids lowered, staring at the crack on the wall that he had never gotten around to fixing. Maybe it was the pain, or the tiredness, or the late hour, but unintended words tumbled from his lips before the filter of rationality could stop them.

"You do the same thing."

Yuuri's hand tightened on Viktor's shoulder, and for a second, Viktor could almost smell the anger in his scent. He braced himself, cursing his tongue for betraying him, but then Yuuri sighed. It was an annoyed sound.

"I do," he agreed quietly. He sounded more cross with himself than with Viktor.

Viktor bit his lip. "I'm sorry, Yuuri, I shouldn't have said that."

"No, you're right. I do it, and I shouldn't." Yuuri's voice turned sad. "You deserve better than that."

"You've got that backwards," Viktor mumbled.

"Fine, we both do, then." Yuuri's hand rested over Viktor's on his belly. "How about…" he idly twisted the ring on Viktor's finger. "How about we make a pact. You tell me when you're hurting, and I'll do the same. No more hiding, no more keeping things from each other."

Viktor smiled thinly against Yuuri's chest. "Seems to me we should have done that long ago."

"Viktor, I'm being serious." At Yuuri's firm tone, he looked up, seeing that the cinnamon brown eyes were glinting with determination. "I'm tired of this divide we've allowed between us." Viktor opened his mouth, but Yuuri stopped him. "And before you jump to defend yourself, yes, I contributed to it, probably more than you did." He paused, his brows furrowed. "We're going to be married. Marriage is built on trust, and I don't trust you as much as I should."

Viktor turned his hand over underneath Yuuri's, holding it gently. "Same here," he whispered. It felt awful to say out loud, but it was true.

"More importantly, the…the baby is coming soon. I should be telling you any time I don't feel well. I mean…my mom had Mari this early. Realistically, I could have the baby any time now." His voice shook; Viktor could tell it was from fear. He rubbed his belly, gazing down at it with half-lidded eyes. "Being truthful wouldn't just be for our own good, it would be for Chiharu's, or Miuna's, sake too."

Viktor nodded slowly. "I agree," he murmured. He had a point. The baby was so close to being here.

Yuuri tugged on his hand until Viktor let go, then held out his pinky. "Let's promise. If your knee hurts, you'll tell me. If I have a bad nightmare, or if I feel bad or sick in any way, I'll tell you."

A giggle rose in Viktor's throat at Yuuri's outstretched pinky. "I haven't made a pinky promise in years."

Yuuri glared, though Viktor knew it was in jest. "I take pinky promises very seriously, mister."

"You are so cute." Viktor looped his pinky through Yuuri's, squeezing gently. "No more hiding," he whispered.

"No more hiding," Yuuri whispered back, and Viktor was surprised to find tears welling in his eyes. Despite the childish gesture, he felt the sincerity in Yuuri's words. He obviously meant them with all his heart, and Viktor would do his absolute best to do the same.

He gazed at their laced fingers, smiling softly. Yuuri's hands were a little smaller than his own, and slender and smooth as they were, they were strong.

"I like your hands," he said, bringing Yuuri's hand to his lips for a kiss.

He felt the vibration of Yuuri's laughter under his cheek. "I like your hands, too." Yuuri squeezed his hand.

Viktor's eyelids lowered. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you straight away that I was hurting, I just…it feels a bit silly to complain about my knee hurting when you're going through all of this pregnancy discomfort. It makes me feel kind of petty."

Yuuri patted his hand. "It's not, and you're not. I care about when you hurt, just like you care when I hurt. I like helping you feel better, because I love you."

The words weaved around Viktor's heart. He'd never get tired of hearing them on Yuuri's lips. "I love you, too, honey," he said, pressing a kiss to Yuuri's chest. He reached down to unstrap the gel pack from his knee.

Yuuri must have sensed how tired Viktor was getting, because he took the ice pack, now warm and squishy, and set it on the night stand. He plugged his phone up to charge and switched the lamp off, then pulled Viktor close, scooting down to rest their bellies together. Viktor gladly snuggled his cheek on top of Yuuri's head, beginning to feel the effects of the pain pill finally taking hold and dulling the pain in his knee. Perhaps they would both be able to get good sleep tonight in preparation for the flight tomorrow.

After a few minutes of laying quietly, Yuuri's low voice broke the silence. "Viktor?"

"Hmm?" He opened his eyes, blinking to keep himself awake.

Yuuri seemed to hesitate for a moment. "Do you want a girl?"

Viktor exhaled a chuckle. "Why do you ask?"

"Yuri told me you said you wouldn't mind having one, that's all."

"Mm, I wouldn't mind at all, but I also wouldn't mind a boy. I'll be thrilled with either one. Especially with how pretty their names are." He patted the bump underneath the covers. He felt minimal movement against his own belly; it seemed like the baby was settling down for a nap. His heart warmed at the feeling. "Are you feeling like the baby is a girl?" He asked gently.

Yuuri shook his head. "Not at all. I still feel completely in the dark about it, actually." He sounded a bit frustrated.

Viktor nuzzled the top of his head. "Don't stress about it, love. Little bean is little bean, and we'll love them no matter which one they turn out to be."

"Yeah," Yuuri said softly, his hand joining Viktor's on his round side.

Viktor could feel Yuuri gradually drifting off after that, and his own eyes grew heavy again.

Just before he went to sleep, a little thrill of excitement bloomed in his stomach.

He couldn't wait to get back to Japan, where he was treated not just as Yuuri's fiancé, but as a member of the family.

He drifted off with a smile on his lips, and both of their dreams that night were peaceful and sweet.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can thank @autumn-leaves-falling for that candlelit bath scene. Lord, I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> I cried actual tears while drawing Yuuri this time because 1. He turned out so fucking cute that it compromised me and 2. I feel genuinely bad for putting him through this whole thing because I'm an emotional child. Poor thing, he's just ready for the baby to come. :(
> 
> Thank you for your encouragement and kindness so far! It means the world to me, seriously, you guys are just amazing. If you decide to drop a comment, tell me whether you're Team Pink (for a baby girl) or Team Blue (for a baby boy)! Cause...I'm having trouble deciding. Lol
> 
> Until next time! ♡


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *shows up a month later with starbucks*
> 
> First off, I'M SORRY I'M TERRIBLE AT UPDATING. I'm back in school, and I'm graduating in december, so I'm pretty sure the teachers are actively trying to kill me. 
> 
> Second off, holy fuck. You guys. 26,000 hits. I am absolutely floored with the support you guys have shown this story. You'll never know how happy it makes me <3
> 
> Smut forecast: heavy clouds with a 100% chance of a sex scene in the latter half of the chapter.
> 
> Other than that, no warnings! Here's a lovely [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2h31yDEScI) for some ambience in the first few paragraphs <3
> 
> I hope you enjoy the warm fluffiness!

_34 weeks_

  
The rhythmic _kathunk, kathunk_ of the train wheels on the rails, coupled with the low hum of the engine and the quiet chatter of people, was a familiar sound to Yuuri. He had taken this particular train every time he had ever left Japan, and every time he returned. The hills and fields that passed outside the window were nothing remarkable or breathtaking, necessarily, but to Yuuri, they were the most beautiful sight in the world. It was the sight of coming home.

When they had gotten on the train, they had been relieved to find it relatively empty, and had taken a seat by the window and slid their luggage out of the way as best they could. Yuuri could tell that a few people recognized them, but the only thing they received were polite nods and smiles. It was nice, the relative silence his home culture offered. Not many people went out of their way to bother you here.

He gazed out the window, feeling Makkachin's tail thumping against his ankle; he was resting at their feet, being very well behaved, and Yuuri was glad for it. They had gotten some looks for having a dog in the train, but it was the only way to get him to Hasetsu.

Poor Viktor was exhausted after the nearly fourteen hour flight. Yuuri had gotten a surprising amount of sleep, but Viktor hadn't been able to rest, too anxious about keeping an eye on Yuuri, and it had finally caught up with him; he was slumped against Yuuri's shoulder now, sound asleep. A tiny snore escaped his parted lips every now and then, most likely from the position he was in, as he didn't snore very often.

Yuuri gently moved him down to rest his cheek on his shoulder, so he could wrap an arm around him and make his position more comfortable, and he wasn't surprised when it didn't wake him. He was conked out. Yuuri combed his hair off of his forehead, tucking it behind his ear and watching a few errant strands escape. It was nice to see his forehead free of any worried wrinkles. He pressed a light kiss to the smooth skin, then turned his attention to the passing world outside.

The mountains in the distance were encircled with transparent wisps of fog, barely visible in the rapidly fading light of dusk. The farmers and fishermen would have already retired inside their houses for dinner with their families by now. He could see a few dim lights on in some of the houses they passed, likely the warm glow of fireplaces; while the Saga prefecture was generally balmy in November, they were experiencing a cold snap right now. He couldn't wait to stick his hands and feet under the kotatsu at home.

 _Home_. What a wonderful word.

It wasn't that he didn't enjoy living in Russia. Quite the contrary, he loved it. He loved the early mornings jogging to the downtown bakery for coffee. He enjoyed the camaraderie of his Russian rinkmates, and the valuable skating advice he had gleaned from both Yakov and Lilia, as well as Viktor. It was a home away from home now, but Japan would always be closest to his heart.

Of course, right now, with his hormones riding a wide, confusing spectrum, he was definitely more prone to homesickness. He could feel it in his bones and in the tugging on his heart. A deep, intangible desire to be surrounded by his family, one that he suspected was instinctual, something that was written into his very DNA.

He couldn't wait to see them again.

The train ride was a long one, a little over an hour, but even though Yuuri was tingling with anxious anticipation over getting home, he somehow still felt content. The scenery that passed by was achingly familiar, and it settled a warm, cozy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Unfortunately, his physical insides weren't so content. The baby had slept off and on all day, but in between naps, the little thing had twisted and turned vigorously, kicking against the walls of their increasingly cramped home with startling force and waking Yuuri from a dead sleep more than once on the flight. And to think, the doctor had told him at one time the baby would be moving _less_ as he got near the end of his pregnancy. He'd been assured that it just meant the baby was healthy and strong, but good grief, it felt like a Tasmanian devil had taken up residence in his uterus.

Earlier that day, he had been slightly alarmed to find what appeared to be a yellowish bruise on the lower left portion of his side, a spot that the baby had been favoring as a punching bag lately. Google had fortunately told him it was relatively common, but harmless, for the baby to bruise the mother a bit if they kicked in the same spot too many times. The spot was a bit tender, but nothing he couldn't handle. He made a mental note to ask the doctor about it next time they had an appointment.

Curiously absent, though, were the Braxton Hicks. He hadn't had one since the night before in bed, and it was making him antsy, not because he _wanted_ to have one, but because he knew it was probably going to take him off guard once he did. He didn't like having to blindly dread for it to happen, and it did nothing to ease Viktor's mind, either.

Of course, thanks to what Yuuri had said about his mother giving birth to Mari several weeks early, Viktor was already fully convinced Yuuri was a time bomb that could go off any day now. Yuuri wasn't so sure; apart from his back hurting and his throat being a bit dry, he felt surprisingly good at the moment, though he didn't feel like he could trust that somehow, if he knew his track record at all. He tried not to worry too much about it, but still, it felt like something bad was waiting to happen, and it grated on his nerves.

He kept himself occupied by gazing out the window, watching the last vestiges of pink-orange sunlight slowly fade from the sky. The soft sounds of "Until the Last Moment" played in his earbuds, soothing his nerves with piano and orchestra. It was a nice song to listen to while traveling with the mountains going by, and it was easy to see Viktor skating along to it in his mind, his silver hair sparkling and his smile wide. It was a beautiful routine, and he couldn't wait to see it again.

The rest of the train ride flew by, and soon, they were pulling into Hasetsu Station and the robotic, female voice was informing them in Japanese of their location and which doors would be opening.

Yuuri took his earbuds out with one hand and gave his snoozing fiancé a nudge.

"Viktor, wake up, we're here," he whispered. When he didn't respond, Yuuri shook his shoulder gently. Viktor's eyes cracked open, then his head slid off of Yuuri's shoulder and he rubbed his eyes with a clumsy hand, giving a blinking, squinting glare up at the fluorescent lights of the train ceiling, as if berating them for being too bright.

"I shouldn't have done that, now I have a crick…" Viktor rubbed the back of his neck and winced as he slid his suitcase out from under the seat, wrapping Makkachin's leash securely around his wrist. The poodle's tail wagged as Viktor stood. He was probably glad to get off of the train; he had been quiet, but Yuuri could see how nervous he was.

"It will feel better once you're in a nice, warm, comfy bed," Yuuri soothed, accepting Viktor's offered hand and slowly standing to his feet.

Viktor's answering groan was borderline lewd. "I love it when you talk dirty to me."

Yuuri stifled a snort of laughter and tucked his scarf around his neck as they stepped off of the train, hand in hand. Luckily, not many of the people in hearing range probably understood English enough to catch the meaning.

He spotted Minako across the station before she saw them, so he lifted a hand and called out to her, drawing her attention immediately. Her slim face broke into a beaming grin, and she quickly approached, flinging her long hair over her shoulder and walking with the grace and confidence Yuuri had always known her for.

"I was starting to get worried," she said as they got closer, "was the train delayed?" She gave Makkachin's head a rub when he circled her excitedly.

"Only for a few minutes," Viktor answered, sleepily running his fingers through his tousled hair.

Minako's eyes glistened as she pulled Yuuri into a hug. "You've gotten big, kid." Her voice sounded suspiciously watery.

Yuuri stifled a smile in her shoulder. "Not like you to get emotional, Minako-sensei," he teased.

"Oh, rubbish. My best student is having a baby, let me be a little emotional," she scoffed, releasing him and patting his belly before pulling Viktor into a side hug. "Bad enough that you never bothered to video chat when I was around. Mari, the bitch, she would rub it in my face every time I missed it."

She brought them up to date on the mundane goings-on of Hasetsu as they walked to her car, which she had waiting outside. Yuuri was so grateful she had offered to pick them up at the station. It was a fairly long walk to the onsen, and the mere thought of walking that far right now almost made him want to cry.

When they pulled up to the front of the onsen, Yuuri could just make out the dark form of Mari leaned against the doorway, the yellow-orange glow of a cigarette visible in the shadow of the door facing. He hastily thanked Minako and threw the car door open, struggling to his feet and hurrying for the entrance when he found steady footing. Normally, he wasn't particularly touchy with his friends and family, but oh, he longed for a hug from his big sister right now.

When she caught sight of him, Mari immediately extinguished her cigarette in the ashtray and blew out the remaining smoke, waving her hand through it to clear it away faster. The considerate gesture warmed Yuuri's heart.

She held her arms wide open, and when they met, Yuuri melted into the hug, feeling his throat ache. She smelled so familiar; coffee and tea, with the lingering bite of smoke. The smell of childhood. Even though she was several inches shorter than him, her embrace was strong and protective.

"I missed you, little brother," she rasped in Japanese, her hand coming up to pet the back of his head. He buried his face in the soft fabric of her jinbei, tears stinging his eyes and nose harshly. He had missed that husky voice. It just wasn't the same hearing it over Skype.

"I missed you, too, nee-san," he whispered, sniffling back his tears. She made a noise of disagreement and shook her head.

"Don't do that, don't make me cry, too." She leaned back, looking down at his protruding belly and holding it between her hands, chuckling in amazement. "God, you're huge."

"Oh, gee, thanks," he sniffed, "I wasn't aware."

"You look like kaa-san did when she was pregnant with you. When are you due?" She rubbed circles into his sides, her eyes full of wonder.

"December nineteenth, that's what the doctor says." He felt the baby squirm against her hand, and she grinned.

"Feels like you've got a strong kid in there."

"You would be very right." Turning and seeing that Viktor was struggling with both suitcases and Makkachin, he hastily went back to help him. "Sorry, didn't mean to abandon you like that," he apologized, taking his suitcase by the handle and extending it.

"Nope, you've wounded me, I'll never recover," Viktor sighed, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as they walked to the entrance of the onsen. Mari watched them with fondness in her eyes.

"Come on, you two, kaa-san is making food."

-

When the three of them walked through the door, Toshiya gave a smile that made the corners of his eyes wrinkle, and he slipped out from behind the counter to meet them as they took their coats and scarves off. Makkachin broke away and excitedly ran up to him, and for once, Viktor was too tired to chase after him and demand that he behave. Toshiya just chuckled and stooped to give the poodle a few scratches that were merrily received. Luckily, flying tackles didn't seem to be in the play book tonight.

"Welcome home," Toshiya said quietly, giving them both a pat on the shoulder. Viktor had never known him to be one for hugs, but his eyes always held a soft affection. "How was your flight?"

Yuuri let out a huffing laugh, and Viktor gave a closed-mouth groan.

"About as comfortable as you could expect," Yuuri replied ruefully, and Viktor rubbed his sore neck. He couldn't wait to relax in an actual bed.

Toshiya made a sympathetic sound, shooing their hands away from the handles of their luggage. "I'll take these to your room. We kept the same one vacant for you so you'd have a nice big bed."

"Oh, thanks, but you didn't have to," Yuuri said quickly, but Toshiya tutted.

"Trust me, I did. If you're anything like your mother when she was pregnant, you'll need room to be comfortable." He gave another pleasant smile, and Yuuri's cheeks turned adorably pink. Toshiya reached to give Yuuri's bump a gentle pat. "How long until the baby's due?"

Viktor draped an arm over Yuuri's shoulders, giving him a brief squeeze. "Just a little over a month." Yuuri's eyes were tired, but he beamed up at Viktor with a sweetness that made his heart turn a flip.

"I can't wait," Yuuri said softly, rubbing his hand over the side of his round stomach.

Toshiya gave a contented sigh. "I can't, either. Anyway, go on to the dining room, your mother is making dinner now. She figured you would both be hungry. Mari, help me with the luggage?"

Mari stuck one hand in her pocket, leaning down to take Yuuri's suitcase by the handle with the other. "Sure."

"Thank you," they both said, and Toshiya and Mari departed with lazy waves. They were both such easygoing people. On the couple of occasions when they had drank together in the past, Viktor had thoroughly enjoyed their company.

The few guest that occupied the lobby gave them polite greetings as they walked through, and Yuuri must have known one of them, because the old woman called him by name, smiling with recognition. They had a short conversation, and from the few Japanese words Viktor could understand and Yuuri gesturing to and rubbing his baby bump, she was congratulating them on the baby. A few more guests offered words of congratulations, and Yuuri rubbed the back of his neck bashfully and thanked them.

When they turned the corner into the kitchen and saw Yuuri's mother, Viktor saw Yuuri's expression tighten with emotion. His heart hurt for him; he knew how homesick he had been.

Her back was turned to them, and she was digging through the cupboards and letting out sighs of frustration, probably looking for a spice or an ingredient.

Viktor and Yuuri shared a mischievous look, then tiptoed as silently as they could until they were right behind her, then each covered one of her eyes. She squeaked in surprise, her posture going rigid.

"Who's there?" she asked in Japanese.

"Guess who," they sang in unison, and she gasped.

"Oh!" She turned around, her round face lighting up in a sweet smile that turned a bit trembly when she saw Yuuri. "Welcome home, boys." They both embraced her, though Yuuri had to turn a bit to the side to do it. Makkachin wriggled with excitement at their feet, his tail swishing back and forth on the floor, and Hiroko reached down to give his head a pat.

"Missed you," Yuuri whispered, resting his chin on top of Hiroko's head, made easy by the fact that she was about an entire head shorter than him. He was the tallest one in his family, after all. Viktor took a moment to enjoy the feeling of Hiroko's welcoming arms; though she was short, her embrace was strong and full of love. She smelled like spices and light, airy perfume. Like he remembered a mother was supposed to smell.

"I missed you, too, both of you. I'm so glad you're home safely, I was beginning to worry..." Her voice had grown thick, like she was holding back tears as well. When she finally pulled back, she rested her hands on Yuuri's protruding belly. "Oh, the baby's gotten so big…" she rubbed very gently and whispered something in cooing, melodic Japanese, her eyes glowing with pride and delight.

Yuuri's hand joined his mother's smaller ones, resting on the expanse of the side of his stomach. It amazed Viktor to no end how far the baby bump stuck out from Yuuri's torso now, how much his body had morphed and changed to accommodate the growing baby inside his womb. A surge of pride rose in his chest, and maybe a _tiny_ bit of ego that whispered, _I helped do that, that's my baby in there_.

"I think he or she is asleep right now, thank God," Yuuri said with a grimace, "which is more than I can say for most of the rest of today so far."

Hiroko patted the bump. "I remember that feeling very well. It's normal, Yuu-kun." Viktor could see the nostalgia in her eyes. "You were very active when I was carrying you. You would respond to your father when he talked to you and follow where his voice was, it was the sweetest thing."

Oh. Viktor tucked that info away to try later.

She ushered them to the bar connected to the kitchen. "Sit, sit, I have miso udon on the stove. Does that sound okay? I wasn't sure what to make…"

Viktor pulled out a chair for Yuuri, who sank down with a huff and a grateful smile back at him. "It sounds good, thanks." Makkachin politely sniffed around the nooks and crannies of the room, reacquainting with the vastly different smells, no doubt.

Hiroko talked as she bustled about, pouring them each a cup of tea (which she had remembered without any prompting needed to be decaffeinated for Yuuri's sake) and tending to the soup on the stove, chopping vegetables with practiced ease. "I figured I'd make something fairly mild, since I didn't know how the baby had affected what you can and can't eat. I felt queasy most of the time in my third trimester with both you and Mari. I couldn't eat anything heavy." Wiping her hands on her apron, she took a bag of dog food out of a cabinet and poured it in an empty bowl that Viktor had just noticed next to a bowl of water on the floor, and Makkachin bounded over, pouncing on his dinner with enthusiasm. He found himself touched that she had remembered.

"As long as it's not fish, I should be fine," Yuuri said, wrinkling his nose. "I can barely stomach the smell."

As Yuuri and his mother talked, Viktor sipped the hot, fragrant tea, feeling the warmth spill through his body. He had missed this; sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea, the atmosphere cozy and welcoming. Yuuri's weary eyes had brightened, and the tension that had been visible in his posture all day was beginning to fall away. It was obvious already how much more at ease he was just from being home for a few minutes. He was so cute when he was relaxed and happy like this.

Soon, Toshiya, Mari, and Minako joined them, and they all moved to the big kotatsu. With some maneuvering and teamwork, they pulled it closer to the wall so Yuuri could prop up with a pillow to save his back any further strain, though he tried to protest that it was too much trouble.

(No one had listened to him.)

The miso udon that Hiroko ladled into their bowls was hot, flavorful, and coupled with the gentle warmth from the kotatsu, it chased away any lingering chill Viktor had felt. He found himself closing his eyes and humming in pleasure as he ate the delicious, perfectly tender noodles and vegetables. No one in the whole world could cook like Katsuki Hiroko.

"When are you due, anyway, kid? You look like you swallowed a watermelon," Minako noted at one point, not unkindly, as she sipped the saké Hiroko had brought out.

"December nineteenth, and believe me, I _feel_ like I've swallowed a watermelon," Yuuri laughed and rested his hand on his upper belly. His voice was breathy and strained, and he was panting shallowly through his mouth every few words. As far as Viktor could tell, he was always out of breath these days. He flashed back to the diagram on the wall of the doctor's office, feeling a prick of guilt. The baby took up so much room in Yuuri's belly now, no wonder he always sounded breathless. Especially since the baby favored the upper part of his abdomen, often squishing his stomach and lungs.

Mari hummed, swirling her chopsticks in the noodles. "Not too long and we'll have a kid running around here…that should be interesting." She tucked the noodles into her mouth.

"It will be so nice to hear tiny feet thumping on the floor again," Hiroko said dreamily, clasping her hands over her heart. "And I haven't held a baby since the triplets were born."

"It will certainly liven things up," Toshiya agreed quietly.

Yuuri suddenly looked nervous, worrying the ring on his finger. "I never held the girls when they were babies, um…is it hard…?"

"Oh, no," Hiroko gave his hand a reassuring pat across the table, "it's easy. You just have to support their little heads and bottoms. And babies aren't as breakable as they look. You'll get the hang of it very quickly." Yuuri visibly relaxed.

Viktor reached under the table and gently rubbed Yuuri's knee. "I've done it, it's easy. If I can do it, you can do it." Yuuri's hesitant smile made Viktor's lips curve into an answering smile. Just picturing Yuuri holding a tiny newborn baby made his heart want to jump out of his chest and run down the street with happiness.

"Well, at least you look good," Minako said with a smile, "as cliché as it is, I think you're glowing."

It was true, though Yuuri protested weakly at the observation. He _was_ glowing. His skin was clear and smooth, his cheeks were a healthy pink, and Viktor could swear even his hair was more lustrous and soft. Yuuri was the kind of expectant parent that other pregnant people were jealous of, at least in terms of looks. He was gorgeous.

…well, okay, Viktor was biased, but still.

A heavy comfort settled over him as they talked and laughed, long after Hiroko had cleared their bowls away and set out a plate of tiny, candy-coated ice cream balls for them to nibble on. They were so light and refreshing, perfect after the warm, savory soup. Yuuri, of course, gravitated toward the mint chocolate ones, much to his family's amusement; they remembered how much Yuuri hated that flavor before the baby.

During a lull in the conversation, Viktor noticed Yuuri's head nodding, so he rose to his feet.

"Somebody's getting sleepy." He offered his hand, and Yuuri took it, bracing his other hand on the kotatsu as he struggled to his feet. Viktor noticed the pained pinch between his brows.

"The onsen is closed to the guests for the night, but, as always, you're free to use it as much as you like," Hiroko said with a smile as she rose from her seat.

Yuuri shook his head. "I think if I got in there right now, I would fall asleep and not be able to get out." He supported underneath his belly one hand, wincing. His back was probably hurting. "I need a quick shower and a soft bed."

"Maybe tomorrow night," Viktor agreed, rubbing Yuuri's back and earning a weak smile.

"Alright, then," Hiroko said, patting them both on the back and taking the cups and plates to the kitchen, Toshiya close behind her.

"Oh, I'll help you," Viktor began, reaching for a bowl, but she gently slapped his hands away.

"You're tired, Vicchan. Toshiya will help me." The endearment caught him off guard, sending an unexpected flutter of warmth through his chest. "Go sleep, both of you, we can get this cleared up in no time. Mari, drive Minako home, please, she's not sober."

"Sure I am," Minako slurred, doing her very best to look nonchalant and lean against the counter without swaying. Mari rolled her eyes, pushing the older woman out of the room.

"Like having a teenager around the house again," she muttered.

Minako made a 'hmph' sound. "Whassat? You bein' a smartass?"

"No, of course not," Mari said in a monotone.

"Night, all." Viktor and Yuuri chuckled at the jaunty wave Minako gave over her shoulder, and at the fond exasperation on Mari's face.

After bidding Yuuri's parents goodnight, they took a record-breaking shower that Yuuri practically slept through, then half-heartedly brushed their teeth and tugged on their pajamas, then headed for their room.

Toshiya had left the light on a soft setting, and it made the turned-back, soft tan bedding look even more inviting. Viktor let out a long sigh as he slid the door shut and locked it, heading for the bed and falling onto it face-first, bouncing slightly up and down before going still. The freshly washed sheets smelled amazing.

"Sweet bed, how I've longed for you," he whimpered. He let out an ' _oof_ ' as the heavy weight of Makkachin unceremoniously flopped across his back.

"I wholeheartedly agree," Yuuri groaned from behind him. Viktor tilted his head and cracked one eye open to see Yuuri discarding his slippers by the door, one hand pressed into the small of his back. It was a familiar sight these days. He slowly shuffled to the other side of the bed, easing down with a tight, pained breath.

"Back?" Viktor questioned, though he already knew the answer.

"Yeah…" Yuuri leaned back against the pillows with a frown, his movements stiff and cautious. "Feels like a fist digging into the base of my spine."

"I can rub it for you, if it would help," Viktor suggested, pushing himself up on his elbows. He stretched his back briefly, relishing the pop he felt, and Makkachin grumpily slid off of him, annoyed that his human bed was moving underneath him. Viktor gave him a scratch behind the ears and a nuzzle on the forehead and was immediately forgiven.

Yuuri looked like he was about to refuse, but then slowly nodded, looking ashamed. "If you don't mind," he murmured. "I know you're tired."

"Of course I don't," Viktor said gently, moving further up the bed until he was sitting behind Yuuri. He touched his back. "Same places?"

Yuuri nodded, so Viktor got to work.

He rubbed and kneaded as hard as he dared, resisting every urge to jump back and yelp out apologies when Yuuri groaned or gasped in pain. Yuuri had told him before that it usually had to hurt worse before it got better, but still, it made him feel horrible for hurting him at all.

"Have you still not had any more Braxton Hicks?" Viktor asked, digging his thumbs into Yuuri's shoulder blades. The noises of pain had ceased, and now Yuuri was leaning back into the touch.

"No, not yet…" there was an anxious edge in his voice. "I just wish it would hurry up and get it over with. I hate having to dread it like this."

"I'm sorry, love…" Viktor leaned to press a kiss to the back of Yuuri's head, breathing in the sweet scent of his shampoo. "It will come eventually."

Once Yuuri was relatively pain-free (and falling asleep sitting up), Viktor took his glasses off and gently helped him lay down, then eased down on his own side, so they were facing each other underneath the cushy comforter. Viktor snuggled down into the warmth and sighed, long and happy.

"Feels so good…"

"Mmhmm," Yuuri sighed out through his nose. Viktor felt the soft touch of Yuuri's hand on his own underneath the covers. "C'mere, little bean's awake now." He tugged Viktor's hand to his belly and covered it with his own, and the soft, slow nudges against Viktor's palm made his own smile soften with concern.

"Hope they don't keep you from sleeping."

"Me, too." Yuuri's eyes were slipping shut already, so hopefully that wouldn't be an issue.

Viktor leaned forward and kissed the tip of Yuuri's nose. "Good night, _solnyshko_."

"G'night." Yuuri's lips curved into a drowsy smile, and even as his eyes closed, he lifted Viktor's hand from his belly to his lips, pressing a slightly clumsy kiss to his fingertips. "Love you, so much."

"I love you, too, baby," Viktor said softly, his heart filling with butterflies when Yuuri gave his hand a light squeeze without opening his eyes.

They fell asleep like that, facing each other, holding hands.

  
-

The next day, something was off.

As if they had jinxed it, Yuuri had slept fitfully, thanks to the baby kicking and prodding his bladder in the middle of the night. It had caused him to wet the bed in his sleep, and when Viktor had gently nudged him awake, he had been so mortified that he had cried, despite Viktor's frantic attempts to reassure him that it was perfectly normal. Viktor had been glad to make the pilgrimage to the outside closet to get a fresh change of sheets, but even once Yuuri was clean and dry again, he still hadn't slept well.

Now, sitting at the kotatsu with toast, eggs and rice, and tea in front of them for lunch, Viktor could tell something besides the lack of sleep was wrong.

Instead of the healthy glow that usually colored his cheeks, Yuuri's complexion was washed out and pallid. He looked like he felt sick. His pretty brown eyes were dull and downcast, and he was picking at his food. That alone was cause for concern; normally, he was ravenous in the mornings.

Inwardly crossing his fingers that Yuuri wouldn't get defensive, Viktor reached to touch his knee. Yuuri looked up, raising his eyebrows tiredly.

"You okay?" Viktor asked, giving his knee a squeeze.

He was surprised when Yuuri hesitated, then slowly shook his head.

"I don't feel well," he said softly.

Viktor's heartbeat quickened. "Where? Are you in pain?"

"No, not really, just…" Yuuri scrubbed his eye underneath his glasses. "So tired, and kind of…achy all over. Really nauseated." The skin beneath his eyes was smudged by dark shadows of fatigue. He looked exhausted.

Viktor willed himself to calm down. That didn't sound like labor.

"Come here." Viktor scooted closer and held the back of Yuuri's head in his hand, pressing his lips to his forehead like his mother had done for him when he was sick as a child. "You feel warm…" Yuuri just nodded wearily, leaning into his touch. "Do you want to get back in bed?"

"Maybe in a few minutes. I want to try to eat for the baby, even if I don't feel like it." Yuuri picked up his chopsticks, a ghost of a smile pulling at his lips. "Kaa-san must be psychic. When we were kids, she never made this for me and Mari unless one of us wasn't feeling well."

Viktor smiled into his tea cup. Mothers had a way of knowing certain things. A tiny cramp squeezed his heart at the memory of his own mother making him soups and teas to remedy sickness. She had been a natural empath, always ready to sacrifice her time to nurse either him or Yuliana back to health when they were ill.

 _So what happened?_ A taunting voice whispered in his ear.

He swallowed down the lump in his throat, pushing the thought to the back of his mind.

Once Yuuri had eaten all he could, Viktor held out his hand for Yuuri to take so he could stand. "You're going to hurt your knee," Yuuri protested.

"It will be fine," he said, waving him off and wiggling his fingers.

Yuuri frowned. "You're supposed to be resting it, not—"

"Yuuri, don't worry about that," Viktor said firmly, "I'm not going to hurt it just by helping you up."

Yuuri said nothing else, but an angry pout marred his pale face as Viktor pulled him up. He held him around the shoulders, steadying him as he swayed and supported his belly with one arm. It was still strange to see his balance virtually gone when he had been so graceful before.

Viktor followed close behind him, trying not to hover anxiously as he unsteadily waddled back to their room, and helped him get settled in the bed. Once he was snuggled under the covers, Makkachin happily scooted closer to Yuuri and resumed his nap, burying his nose in the comforter next to Yuuri's thigh.

"Is there anything you need? Something I could bring you?" Viktor asked, shifting his weight restlessly.

Yuuri's gaze was fixed downward and to the side.

"No."

Viktor sighed and closed his eyes.

He abruptly turned away, pulling a hoodie from his suitcase on.

"I'm going for a run," he announced, running a hand through his hair to tame it, though it was probably pointless. The residents of Hasetsu didn't care what he looked like.

Yuuri's scowl darkened dangerously, and Viktor could actually smell how irritated he was. "You have a competition in three days, you're really going to risk hurting yourself just for the sake of being petty?"

"I'm not being _petty_ , I just want to keep in shape. Since I can't go to the rink and all." He meant to make it sound light and teasing, but it just came out very petulant and snappish. He almost winced when the words left his mouth.

"You…" Yuuri's face contorted in anger. "You're such a child."

Viktor clamped his teeth down on the inside of his cheek. The sharp taste of copper stung his tongue. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly and trying desperately to stamp down the anger rising in his chest.

"I didn't mean it that way," he tried, but Yuuri rolled over to face away from him, and he could sense the walls going up.

 _He's probably just moody, don't take it personally_ , he told himself, but it didn't take away the sting.

He shoved his wallet in one pocket and his phone in the other, stalking to the door. Part of him wanted to glance back at Yuuri, but he would probably just end up saying something else he would regret.

He forced himself not to slam the sliding door closed on the way out.

On his way through the lobby, he met Hiroko, carrying a tray; she had just finished serving tea to the guests. Her face creased in concern when she saw him.

"What's wrong? You look upset."

Viktor shook his head. "I'm going for a run. Check on Yuuri for me in a few minutes, if you don't mind. He's mad at me." He rubbed his hand over his face, sighing heavily. "Again."

Instead of the anger he had expected, Hiroko just sighed and shook her head, an understanding smile crossing her face. "His moods are going to fluctuate, Vicchan. It's part of carrying a baby." She balanced the tray on her hip with one hand and patted his arm. "Don't stay gone too long, it's cold out. Would you like for me to have tea waiting for you?"

Viktor's face softened. "You don't have to do that."

"I'll take that as yes," she said cheerfully, turning and walking to the kitchen.

He watched her go, a sad little smile tugging at his lips.

She wasn't his own mother, but maybe, one day, she could begin to fill the gap.

The outside air was crisp and cold in his lungs. He breathed it in deeply, fitting his earbuds into his ears, and the fog from the breath he exhaled hung in the icy air.

He took off from the doorstep, his pace steady and his heart aching.

-

_Why did I say that?_

Yuuri sobbed out quiet, pained breaths and rubbed his wet cheeks, feeling Makkachin nose against his belly and give a concerned whine.

No matter how hard he tried to stifle them, the tears just kept coming, trickling down his face in steady streams. The hurt in his chest somehow radiated all the way out to his shoulders as Viktor's stunned expression played through his memory again and again. Surprise and anger had flashed in his eyes, then they had closed off, losing the warmth that usually sparkled in the deep blue.

Yuuri was so tired of hurting him.

He hunched his back with a gasp and dug his fingers into his side when he felt the baby's foot catch on his ribs, a sharp, jabbing pain that always made his whole body jump when it happened. It did nothing for the nausea still slowly churning his stomach, made even worse by the anxiety creeping over him. He hadn't felt this bad in a long time.

"Baby, please, not now," he snapped shakily.

After a long few moments of stillness, the baby wiggled softly further down in his belly, as if they were apologizing, and it made him feel strangely guilty.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, sniffling again and rubbing slow circles into his side, "I didn't mean it…mama just doesn't feel very well." A gentle nudge against the tips of his fingers sent more tears trickling over the bridge of his nose and down his temple. Spurred on by the contact, he kept talking, even though his voice wobbled. Maybe it would calm them… "I can't wait to finally meet you, little bean...you're probably ready to be out of there, huh?…I hope you have your daddy's pretty hair, or…or m-maybe his eyes. You're going to be so beautiful, I can already feel it." He kept his voice in a whisper, so no one outside would happen to hear. "You have so many people waiting to meet you…you're so loved, and you don't even know it yet. You're a miracle, did you know that? Mama wasn't supposed to be able to have you…"

The tears tapered off as he continued the quiet, one-sided conversation, stroking his swollen belly with tender affection, and Makkachin settled back down, snuggling against his legs. The baby would squirm every now and then, pressing up against his hand gently and responding to his voice. Eventually, the movements slowed and stopped, and he wasn't positive, but it felt like the baby had lain parallel to his own body, head up. A wobbly smile tipped up his lips. He cradled his belly in his arms; in this position, it was almost like he was giving the baby a hug. The thought made his chest ache with love, and he longed for the day when he could finally hold his child in his arms.

There was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in," he called, and the door slid open to reveal his mother, carrying a mug of something hot, judging from the steam curling off of it.

"Spearmint, with honey," she said, holding the mug up. She set it on the nightstand, then eased down onto the bed, giving Yuuri's hand a pat. "Viktor told me you were a little upset." Her melodic Japanese was easy on his ears; she spoke enough English to easily converse with Viktor and any English-speaking guests they may have, but she wasn't yet fluent. It was nice to hear her speak Japanese again.

Yuuri's face heated. "I just snapped at him over something stupid, like always…"

His mother gave a gentle smile. "I think he knew you didn't mean it. He asked me to check on you. Are you still feeling sick?"

Yuuri nodded wearily. It didn't feel bad enough to make him throw up, but it was ever present in the pit of his stomach, gnawing at him. He sort of wished he could just throw up and be done with it, just so the horrible feeling would go away, but he knew it probably wouldn't even if he did.

His mother gave a soft sigh, her face sympathetic. "I know how it feels, dear. It was especially bad with you. When you finally arrived, I was so relieved…"

Feeling the beginnings of a backache, Yuuri shifted, reaching behind him for a pillow to tuck underneath the side of his stomach. He sighed at the relief the extra support gave. "I can't wait for it to be over," he confessed, feeling awful for saying it.

"The last trimester is always the hardest. Especially with how big the baby is now." Her hand moved to his belly, rubbing up and down gently.

Yuuri hummed out a noise of agreement. "I would say I hope I don't get any bigger, but I doubt I'll be so lucky…"

"If you're anything like me, I'm afraid you're right." She laughed quietly. "I was so uncomfortable in my last few weeks with you. Mari was six weeks premature, but I carried you past your due date. You were actually due on the twenty-fifth, but I didn't go into labor until the evening of the twenty-eighth. Eight hours later, there you were." Her face had relaxed into a smile of nostalgia. "You were a short, easy labor compared to Mari."

Biting his lip, Yuuri looked down, fingering a stray thread on his sleeve. "H-how long was it with her?"

She looked like she was choosing her words carefully. "A good bit longer," she finally said.

Yuuri gave a shaky, defeated sigh. He had suspected already; first labors were almost always long, according to the doctor.

"I'm scared, kaa-san," he whispered, throat catching.

"Oh, Yuuri…" her brown eyes softened, and she reached up to comb her fingers through his hair, like she used to do when he was little. "What is it that scares you?"

"Labor. Delivery. I'm just…terrified." He swallowed, trying not to imagine it. The fear had been slowly, steadily eating at him ever since he had found out he was pregnant, and it was getting harder and harder to ignore the closer he drew to his due date.

"It is a bit scary," she agreed mildly, "but the scariest part by far is the anticipation. Once you're actually in labor, it sort of flies by. By the time you're pushing, you're ready to see your baby, no matter what it takes." Her eyes grew misty. "When they placed you in my arms for the first time, I cried and cried, because your father and I had wanted a little boy so badly. You had the prettiest, thickest hair I had ever seen, and your tiny face was so pink and round." She stroked the back of her soft knuckles down his cheek, love shining in her eyes. "There's nothing in the world that compares to the love you feel after you have a baby. It makes everything you've been through worth it."

"So I've heard," he murmured. Olesya had said the same thing.

She was right, he could do this. People had babies every day and didn't have complications, and some even went on to have more children in the future, like his mother had. He would be fine.

"Have you picked out any names?" His mother asked, breaking him out of his reverie.

Yuuri frowned. "I told Mari, didn't she tell you?"

She shook her head. "She probably wanted to leave that for you to tell."

"Ah." Leave it to Mari to be considerate and thoughtful. He rubbed his right side; since the baby was laying nearer the bed, toward his left side, the opposite side of his belly was a bit squishy and gave easily under pressure. It felt strange. "For a boy, Chiharu. For a girl, Miuna."

"Oh, my…they're lovely." She repeated the names in a whisper, a smile wrinkling the corners of her eyes. "I wondered if you would choose Japanese names."

"Viktor wanted it that way." A prick of guilt poked his chest. Viktor was probably still upset with him. "And I know it's kind of unusual, but we're pairing each name with a middle name, after Viktor's parents." His mother gave a questioning look, and he winced. "He…his parents are gone, kaa-san. He lost them both when he was twenty-four, they were in a car accident." He tactfully left out the details.

His mother's eyes widened, and she covered her mouth. "Oh, no…" her eyes grew wet, her voice hushed with horror. "That poor boy…" Yuuri could tell she was struggling not to cry, but it wasn't working very well. Her lips trembled, and she took off her glasses. "What were their names?"

"Fyodor and Aleksandra." Luckily, he had practiced pronouncing them. Russian names were so different from Japanese names, but he loved them.

She sniffled and wiped her eyes on her sleeve, then slipped her glasses back on. "I won't be able to pronounce them correctly without some practice, I'm afraid, but they're beautiful. I can't wait to see which one is in there." She gave his bump a light pat, then stood, her eyes thoughtful. "I have to get back to the lobby, so call out if you need me. Try to drink some tea, it may help you feel better."

"Thank you," he said softly. She dropped a kiss on top of his head, something she didn't do very often, and gave him a sweet smile.

Once he was alone again, he pulled out his phone and accessed his messages, tapping rapidly.

_I'm sorry. I love you._

He held his breath for a second, heart skipping a beat, but he didn't have to wait long. The dotted line showing that Viktor was typing popped up almost immediately.

_It's okay. I love you, too._

He closed his eyes and breathed a quiet sigh of relief. He typed again, hoping that it wouldn't make Viktor mad.

_Please be careful._

The reply was almost instantaneous.

_I promise. ♡_

If he was using heart emojis, he wasn't too miffed, at least.

Yuuri set his phone aside momentarily and slowly shifted onto his back to prop up, squeezing his eyes shut and gasping when a sudden, strong jolt of pain radiated from his right side down to his crotch, freezing him in place. _What…oh. That ligament pain,_ he thought, letting out a shaky breath of relief. He rubbed the heel of his hand down the length of the pain, wrinkling his nose. It made sense that his ligaments were protesting, he supposed. They were stretched to the limit nowadays.

He picked up the mug of tea and gave it a wary sniff. When his stomach didn't turn at the smell, he took a tentative sip, and the taste of spearmint and honey was soothing in his throat. After a few sips, he could feel the difference it was already making. Of the multitude of things he had tried throughout the whole pregnancy to alleviate nausea, mint tea had been the most consistently effective. Relief slowly spread through him at the feeling of the nausea ebbing away with each drink of tea. As usual, his mother had known exactly what to do. He could only hope that he turned out to be half the parent she was.

Picking his phone back up, he surfed the web and sipped his tea, hoping Viktor would return soon.

-

By the time Viktor did get back, Yuuri felt noticeably better, especially after managing to catch a quick, restful nap. He still felt slightly queasy, and various muscles in his body were aching dully, but it was a vast improvement over how he had felt when he first woke up.

Viktor closed the door to their room behind him, carrying a mug of his own; Yuuri guessed that his mother had given Viktor tea to warm him up. His nose and cheeks were ruddy, as were the backs of his knuckles. Though the outside weather wasn't as harsh as Russia, it was still cold enough to chill your bones.

"Come here," Yuuri said softly, holding out his hand. Viktor came to meet him, taking the offered hand and setting his mug on the nightstand. Yuuri tugged him down to press a quick kiss to his lips, and when they separated, Yuuri rubbed the cold hand between his own and looked up into Viktor's face, seeing a crease of concern on his brow. "I know I've already apologized, but…"

Viktor shook his head, sitting down on the bed. "Don't worry about it. You felt awful, it's natural for you to be a bit grumpy." His eyes softened. "How do you feel now?"

"Much better. Kaa-san brought me some mint tea." He yawned, then rested his hand over his belly underneath the covers. "Baby's quiet, so that helps. Sometimes if they move around too much when I feel sick, it can make it worse, so I'm glad they're napping."

Viktor scooted down the bed, leaning down to eye level with Yuuri's belly and pulling the shirt up so he could frame the firm, round mound with his hands. "I'm glad for that, then." He pressed a kiss to Yuuri's bare bump. "Hi in there, my sleepy little bean," he whispered against Yuuri's skin, "you must be so comfy and warm in mama's tummy. Aw, yes you are…"

Yuuri chuckled. Viktor using the crooning, babbling baby talk was impossibly adorable.

As Viktor happily talked on, whispering to their baby, the tight, weird feeling in Yuuri's chest returned, the same one that had caught him off guard the other day in the bath. It was a sort of…achy stinging, deep in his chest. It had been happening a lot more lately, but he still didn't know what it was. Add that to the long list of things he'd have to ask the doctor about…

A cold sensation on his chest right over his heart drew his attention, and the dark, wet spot on his shirt pulled his brows down into a perplexed frown. Had he dripped tea and not realized it…?

Something in him made him raise his shirt and look underneath the wet spot, and when his brain finally made the connection, heat rose on his cheeks and his eyes widened.

Viktor looked up from Yuuri's belly, and his smile faded. "Yuuri, what's wrong?"

Yuuri gaped at his chest. A smear of thin, yellowish fluid had beaded on his nipple. When he swiped his finger across it, he winced; it was tender and sensitive. He stared at the glistening streak on his finger, hardly daring to believe his eyes. "Um…"

Viktor's mouth dropped open. "Is that what I think it is?"

A mixture of excitement and embarrassment fluttered in Yuuri's chest. "I…it looks like it." Yuuri pulled his shirt up to expose both nipples, scrutinizing his chest. For the first time, he noticed that his pectoral muscles looked a bit swollen. When he touched them, they were softer and more squishy than normal. Even his nipples were a bit darker. He gently pressed around his nipple, and more of the thin liquid (what was it called again…?) leaked out.

Viktor's eyes were full of awe. "That's…amazing." He touched Yuuri's chest reverently.

A wide grin spread across Yuuri's face, even as his eyes filled with confusing tears. "I'll be able to…" his throat tightened around the words, and he covered his mouth, squeezing his eyes shut and breathing in a quivering breath through his nose.

"Yuuri?" He felt Viktor's finger touch the tear that rolled down his cheek.

He trembled with the effort not to cry, but a muffled sob broke through his hand. Somewhere in the back of his mind, beneath the happiness, he was annoyed with himself for crying at the drop of a hat yet again. He felt the warm press of lips on his forehead, silent, patient support.

"I just…" he sniffled shakily, taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. "I had kind of given up hope that I'd be able to…the doctor said it's n-not very common for guys with my blood type. The fact that…I may be able to feed the baby with my own body…" his voice broke, and Viktor patiently caught the droplets as they trickled down his cheeks.

"Ah, so these are happy tears." Viktor's blue eyes were incredibly soft.

" _Yes_ , this makes me so happy," Yuuri said through a tearful giggle, scrubbing underneath his nose. "I don't completely understand why, but it does."

"It's an incredible thing," Viktor agreed, "I'd probably cry, too." He leafed a tissue out of the box next to the bed and handed it to Yuuri.

"Thank you." Yuuri sniffled and wiped his eyes, slipping his glasses back on. "At the same time, though, this may present a problem. Now I may…well, leak on a shirt at an inconvenient time…" He wasn't ashamed of it, but still, it could be embarrassing if it happened in public.

Viktor tapped his lips, frowning thoughfully. "There's got to be some way to prevent leakage. Maybe Yuuko would know something about it? Did she breastfeed?" He reached for his tea and took a few sips.

Yuuri nodded. "How she managed it with triplets, I have no idea. She's crazy." The sheer fact that her petite body had carried three babies at once was just insane. Yuuri had seen pictures of her when she was pregnant; maybe he should be counting his blessings of only having one baby in his belly. She had been so big it was almost comical, but he knew she had to have been miserable.

Viktor set his tea on the table and scooted back down, holding Yuuri's bump between his hands again. "Text her, I'm going to spend more time with little bean."

"I think they're still asleep, though." Yuuri tapped out a text to Yuuko, even as he felt the baby give a long, slow stretch inside him. "Well, never mind, I stand corrected. They're just waking up."

Viktor's eyes lit up. "Aw," he breathed, leaning down to nuzzle Yuuri's belly. "Did you have a nice nap, sweetie? Can you hear daddy?" The baby seemed to perk up, moving closer to Viktor's voice.

Yuuko's answering text made Yuuri's phone vibrate, and he turned his attention to the screen.

_aw, that's awesome! breastfeeding is a really special experience <3_

Yuuri's mouth tilted in a half smile as he typed back, the sound of Viktor's voice rising and falling melodically with his baby talk a soothing background noise.

_Any tips for saving my shirts from the leaking? Does it happen more the farther you are along?_

_usually that's the case, yea, but i was leaking colostrum by my twenty-ninth week, lol. i think it's different for everyone_

_Colostrum_ , that was what it was called.

_but yea, they make these thingies called nursing pads, to stick over your nipples so you won't leak all over your shirts or bed. hold on, I think I may actually have a few boxes left, brb_

"Yuuko to the rescue," Yuuri murmured, leaning his phone against the slope of his upper belly. It jiggled slightly; the baby had kicked it.

Viktor looked up, blue eyes inquisitive through his fringe. "She has something to help?"

"Nursing pads. She said she thinks she has some left over." Yuuri gave a fond, sniffing laugh. "She always was kind of a pack rat."

"Luckily for us, she still is," Viktor said cheerfully, rubbing his fingertips into the sides of Yuuri's stomach. Yuuri's belly rolled slowly as the baby turned over, tiny feet pressing lazily against the walls of his uterus. "Baby's still a sleepy little bean…" he showered kiss after kiss to Yuuri's belly, laughing softly when the baby kicked where his lips met each time, as if they were annoyed with the soft smacking sound it made. He narrowed his eyes in a playful glare, then pressed his pursed lips to Yuuri's bare skin and blew.

At the vibration and noise, Yuuri felt the baby give a startled jump inside of him that made his whole belly visibly twitch. He and Viktor stared at each other in disbelief, then burst into gales of laughter. Viktor's forehead fell to Yuuri's belly, his shoulders shaking.

"I scared them!" He managed through his laughter, "Oh, my God, that was precious!" He pressed a warm, smiling kiss to Yuuri's belly, unable to stop giggling. The unbridled joy on his face was so cute. "I'm sorry, lovie, daddy didn't mean to scare you. Poor little thing, what _was_ that awful noise?"

"Little bean didn't like it," Yuuri cooed, patting his side. His phone vibrated with an answering text, and he unlocked his phone, still chuckling.

_found em! four whole boxes. i'll run them over to you later_

Feeling relieved, Yuuri typed back _. Thank you! Where did you buy them?_

_drugstore mori. they're super cheap, too_

_You're a huge help. Seriously, thanks so much._

_what are friends for? ^-^_

"She said she'll bring them tonight." Yuuri set his phone down, folding his hands on his chest and gazing down at Viktor, who rested his cheek on Yuuri's stomach and gave a sweet smile.

"That's so nice of her."

"It is. How's your knee feeling?"

Viktor twisted his lips to the side, considering. "Fine, actually. It was stiff this morning, but I think the run actually helped it. It's not hurting." He lifted his head and crawled up the bed until he was beside Yuuri, snuggling up to his side and slipping an arm behind his back to draw him close. Yuuri leaned into the kiss that was pressed to his temple, closing his eyes and smiling.

"I'm glad," he whispered, tilting his chin up and to the side. Viktor took the invitation, their lips meeting in a tender kiss that made something besides the baby in Yuuri's lower belly stir.

Viktor kept his lips close to Yuuri's as he murmured a quiet "I love you."

"I love you, too…" Yuuri sighed contentedly into Viktor's warm lips as they kissed again, letting his eyes flutter shut and opening his mouth when he felt the soft, wet prod of Viktor's tongue. A smooth hand cupped the back of his neck as Viktor delved deeper, kissing him until he was dizzy and flushed, heat smoldering beneath the surface of his skin, begging to be touched. Viktor fumbled for the covers, tossing them off of him and slipping a cool hand underneath his shirt behind his back.

"Is the door locked?" Yuuri panted out when they broke apart, but before Viktor could answer, there was a knock on the door, and they both jerked apart like the other had spontaneously combusted. Viktor fell off of the bed in his haste, and the thump and punched-out ' _oof_ ' made Yuuri burst out laughing.

Mari's deadpan voice drifted through the door. "What are you t—you know what? Never mind. Kaa-san wanted me to ask you if hotpot is alright for dinner."

Yuuri smothered his laughter as Viktor pulled himself back onto the bed, leveling a glare in his direction that wasn't entirely sincere.

"If I were meaner, I'd start making sex noises," Viktor whispered loudly.

Yuuri sputtered. "You little—"

"Can you kids focus for like two seconds—"

"That sounds fine, sorry!" Yuuri called, clapping a hand over Viktor's mouth when he saw him taking a deep breath with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. He made a cut-off squeak as he was silenced, then Yuuri felt warm, wet squishiness writhe against his palm. He jerked his hand away with a disgusted yelp. "Did you just _lick_ me?"

"Maybe I did!" Viktor hollered, dodging the hand that Yuuri swiped at him.

"And that's my cue to leave," Mari's voice drawled, "try not to maul each other too badly." Her footsteps died away.

Yuuri contemplated the fact that he could probably fry an egg on his cheek right now, and Viktor looked far too pleased with himself, even as Yuuri scrubbed his palm on Viktor's sleeve to clean it off.

"She'll never let me hear the end of that," Yuuri muttered, and Viktor's smile faded slightly.

"I'm sorry. I just like seeing you blush, you look so handsome when you do." To his credit, he looked mostly contrite. "I suppose it's selfish of me."

"No, you're fine." Yuuri felt his cheeks warm up again. "I just hate that we got interrupted. I miss you."

Viktor gave a lopsided smile. "I'm right in front of you, you know."

"You know what I mean." Yuuri worried his lip between his bottom teeth. "Do you think we could…later? I mean, if we're both not too tired—"

"Yes," Viktor breathed, like he had been waiting on the edge of his seat for Yuuri to ask. "Yes, I'd like that. I've missed you, too." He took Yuuri's hand and laced their fingers together, his eyes alight with anticipation. His warm palm fit so perfectly against Yuuri's own, and Yuuri felt Viktor's thumb rub the ring on his finger, spinning it.

It had been a while since they had had a chance for any sort of real, meaningful intimacy. Aside from a couple of heated makeout sessions in the shower and a mutual hand job a few days ago, they hadn't had actual sex since…

 _Since the time I ruined it by having a contraction immediately after,_ Yuuri thought bitterly. He was still mad at his body for that.

A seed of uncertainty planted in his mind.

What if that happened again?

Viktor was gazing at him with fondness, rubbing his fingers with a light touch.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked softly, bringing Yuuri's hand to his mouth for a kiss.

"Nothing important," Yuuri sighed, snuggling up to him and resting his cheek on his shoulder. He pressed the side of his belly to Viktor's stomach, so he could feel the baby's soft wiggling. "Just hoping I don't have another contraction like last time. They can, ah…um…o-orgasming. Can cause them. Or, well, trigger them, rather." No matter how many times they had sex, voicing it out loud still managed to get him flustered.

Viktor snuggled his cheek down into Yuuri's hair. "Perhaps it won't. We can wait, if you don't feel comfortable doing it."

"No, no," Yuuri said hastily, shaking his head, "I really want to."

"It's a date, then," Viktor exclaimed, hugging Yuuri to him and nuzzling the top of his head. "I can't wait. After dinner?" He pulled away to look into Yuuri's eyes, and Yuuri blushed and nodded shyly, feeling for all the world like he was being courted again.

"It's a date," Yuuri echoed, leaning up to give Viktor a kiss on the tip of his nose. The blue-green of Viktor's eyes had brightened, the vibrant color catching the early evening light from the window and shining beautifully. He looked so excited that Yuuri couldn't help but smile back.

There was another, more gentle knock on the door, and Yuuri heard his mother's voice.

"Hotpot time," she called cheerfully, "Yuuko-chan, Takeshi-kun, and the girls are joining us for our meal."

"Okay, thanks!" Yuuri responded, accepting the hand Viktor offered and sitting up to swing his legs off of the bed, supporting his stomach with one hand as he slowly stood. _Why do you have to be so heavy?_ he wondered silently as the baby rolled in his lower belly, pulling on his back. His stomach growled rather loudly as he was sticking his feet in his slippers, and he tipped his head and groaned out loud at the ceiling. "I know, I know, you're hungry! I'm going!"

Viktor wasn't able to completely smother his chuckle.

"Hush." Yuuri gave him a gentle shove out the door. "Come on, let's go feed the spawn."

"Yuuriiiii, they're not a spawn, they're a _baby!"_

-

Dinner was a pleasant affair full of laughter and delicious food. Hotpot was one of Yuuri's favorite ways to eat; it was fun to dip the noodles, dumplings, meat, and vegetables into the savory boiling broth to cook them. What's more, it made it much easier to avoid any foods that had the tendency to make him nauseous. He had a feeling his mother had planned that.

As soon as he and Viktor walked through the doorway, they were greeted with a tight (but gentle) hug, sandwiched between Yuuko, Takeshi, and the triplets. Yuuko, of course, fawned over his belly, patting and cooing and being a general mother.

"You look amazing, I'm jealous," she sighed at one point during the meal, "I looked and felt awful in my last trimester with the girls."

"You were carrying three whole babies, though," Yuuri pointed out, picking a few tender slices of beef that had finished cooking out of the bubbling pot and dropping them in his bowl, "I'm pretty sure that automatically gives you some sort of pass." Yuuko giggled.

Takeshi gave his wife an affronted look. "I still thought you were pretty, though," he said defensively, and Yuuko beamed sweetly at him.

"You're a treasure, honey."

He puffed out his chest. "I try."

"Still, it was hard to feel pretty, all big and round like that." She sipped her water. "I was horribly clumsy, and I hated going anywhere by myself."

"I know what you mean," Yuuri said with a sighing chuckle, fishing around for a few more potatoes. They were one of his favorites.

Axel looked up from slipping Makkachin a piece of beef to give Yuuri's protruding bump a dubious look. "Are you sure you're only having one baby?" She demanded.

"Yeah, you're so big, it looks like two," Lutz piped up, and Loop smacked her sisters on the arms before Yuuko could.

"That's rude!"

"No, it's fine, I am really big," Yuuri agreed, glancing down and cupping his belly, "but there's just one in there." _Thank God_ , he added silently.

Axel still looked skeptical. "Are you _sure?"_

Yuuri nodded amusedly. "I'm sure," he promised. He drew in a sharp breath through his nose and closed his eyes in a frown as the baby abruptly dug their feet into his lower belly, compressing his bladder.

All three triplets jumped up. "What's wrong?" They asked in worried unison, and Lutz added, "is the baby coming?" Viktor cut his conversation with Takeshi off mid sentence and his gaze darted to Yuuri, his blue eyes widening in concern.

Yuuri laughed, waving his hands and shaking his head. "No, no, the baby isn't coming, they just kicked me." When the girls' eyes grew large in disbelief, he beckoned them closer. "Come here…"

They took turns holding their small hands to his big belly, oohing and aahing in wonder when the baby kicked and rolled against them. His mother and father also scooted closer, quietly placing their hands on his bump to feel the baby move since they hadn't gotten to yet, and their eyes were full of awe.

"Precious," his mother whispered, rubbing softly. His father nodded in agreement, his eyes misty.

"That's amazing," Axel said excitedly, bouncing in place.

"I hope it's a boy," Loop declared, and the other two frowned at her.

"Well, I hope it's a girl!" They shot back in unison.

Yuuko snapped her fingers and cut them a silent "you'd better stop" glare, and they clammed up, scooting back to their places.

"Sorry, kaa-san, sorry, Yuuri," they mumbled.

Hiroko patted their backs. "Either one will be wonderful," she said diplomatically, "I, for one, just can't wait for them to get here. I'm looking forward to holding my grandchild." Her smile was content and serene.

"I'm glad you'll be able to meet them," Viktor said gently, moving to give her a side hug that was happily returned. The conversation turned to another topic, but Yuuri saw Viktor's eyes cloud over with that familiar, faraway look beneath his lashes, his smile fading to a sad shadow on his lips. He became much quieter after that, speaking only when spoken to and mostly silently listening. Yuuri noticed his mother give Viktor a perceptive look, a wrinkle of sympathy between her fine eyebrows.

Yuuri slipped his hand under the kotatsu and rested it on Viktor's thigh, rubbing back and forth with his thumb, wishing he could provide more comfort. Viktor scooted a little closer, leaning against Yuuri and giving him a muted smile.

Even as they bid everyone goodbye and returned to their room (but not before Yuuko slipped Yuuri the shopping bag full of brand new, unopened nursing pad boxes, bless her), Viktor was still unusually quiet. After sliding the door shut and locking it, Yuuri took his hand and sat him on the bed, sinking down beside him with a labored breath.

"Talk to me?" He encouraged, lacing their fingers together.

Viktor gave a one-shouldered shrug. "Just…missing them," he murmured. He looked down at their joined hands, rubbing Yuuri's knuckles with his thumb. "They would have liked you and your family, I think."

Despite feeling like it would be treading on thin ice, Yuuri ventured out anyway. "What about Yuliana?"

Viktor's back straightened, his face impassive. "Why do you ask?"

Yuuri blinked, taken aback by the ambiguous response. It was unlike Viktor to be so evasive.

He cleared his throat nervously. "I, well. You just don't talk about her all that much. I'd like to meet her one day, since she's. You know, going to be my sister-in-law." He resisted the urge to squirm under Viktor's guarded gaze.

"Oh." He sounded like he hadn't expected that. He reached up to tuck his hair behind his ear, something he always did when he was being careful what he said. "You will, one day."

Yuuri pressed through, hoping Viktor wouldn't bolt. "How long has it been since you've seen her?"

Immediately, Viktor looked away. Only because he was watching very closely did Yuuri see him flinch.

"Too long," he said nonchalantly, "but she's been busy, I've been busy…you know how it goes." His voice was deceptively light.

Sensing that he was uncomfortable, Yuuri didn't push anymore.

Instead, he reached up to cup the back of Viktor's neck, turning his face gently and pulling him to his lips. Viktor seemed hesitant, keeping his mouth closed as Yuuri kissed him chastely on his bottom lip, at the corner of his mouth. Yuuri leaned back, his chest thumping anxiously, afraid he had stepped over a line, but Viktor's eyes softened when he noticed the crease of uncertainty on Yuuri's forehead. He reached to smooth it away with his fingertips, leaning forward and pressing a long, open-mouthed kiss to Yuuri's lips that had his heart pounding for a whole different reason.

Yuuri slipped his arms around Viktor and drew him as close as possible, and Viktor returned the embrace, combing his fingers through the back of Yuuri's hair. His own lips parted into Viktor's as they met again, warm breath mingling between them with the taste of spices and tea. Viktor's scent curled around him, reaching into Yuuri's chest and wrapping around his heart, pulling them close in more ways than just physical. It amazed him how safe a hug and a few kisses from Viktor could make him feel. The kissing slowly built in intensity until Yuuri's cheeks were warm and his insides were quivering.

Viktor broke the kiss, his chest and shoulders rising and falling quickly with his breath.

"Do you feel good enough for this?" He asked quietly, his hand falling to rest on Yuuri's belly, "you felt pretty bad earlier. I don't want you to push yourself if you don't feel like it. I can wait."

Yuuri pursed his lips, frowning thoughtfully. His stomach felt fine. The baby was quiet. His back had been rested nicely during dinner. Nothing seemed to be bothering him at the moment, thought he knew that could change in a matter of seconds these days…

"I feel really good, actually," he admitted with surprise, rubbing his stomach, "baby's napping, and I don't feel sick anymore." He frowned. "Besides, you have needs, too. I know you're probably just as pent up as I am. Even if I didn't feel a hundred percent, I'd still want to. I like taking care of you." He managed to not nearly die by blushing. Progress.

Viktor's hand came up to cup his cheek gently. "Are you sure?"

"Mm." Yuuri briefly nuzzled his neck, drinking in his scent. "I chose last time. How do you want it?"

Viktor's eyebrows raised as his face lit up. "Can I use my mouth on you first?" He asked eagerly, with all the excitement of a child on Christmas morning.

A short bark of laughter burst from Yuuri's lips. "You might have to do some searching," he joked, peering around his belly in vain, "I haven't seen that part of me in several months without a mirror."

Viktor gave a badly stifled snort. "Oh, I can find it, don't you worry." He gave Yuuri's stomach an amused pat. "Lie back, and take your shirt and glasses off for me."

Once he was shirtless and his glasses were safely folded on the night stand, Viktor slowly, teasingly helped him out of his sweatpants. Earlier that morning, he had wondered how in the world he would ever feel aroused again, what with how horrible he had felt, but now, after the heated kisses and with Viktor's fingers trailing down the sides of his thighs, dipping under the waistband of his underwear, he was already hard. The crotch of his underwear rubbed him as he shifted his hips from side to side to help Viktor get the pants all the way off. Viktor left kisses in their wake, the warmth of his mouth raising goosebumps on the skin he touched.

"I've missed this," Viktor said with a happy sigh, unceremoniously yanking Yuuri's underwear off and tossing it over his shoulder. His eyes lit with mischief. "Oh, look, there it is." Yuuri felt the tip of his finger trace a tingling path from the root of his cock up to the head, and he breathed out shakily at the feeling. "And so hard already. How could I possibly miss it?" Yuuri's face and ears warmed. Viktor reached to grab a couple of soft pillows, waggling his eyebrows. "Now lift that pretty butt for me."

Yuuri groaned as he obeyed. "You're ridiculous."

"Am not," Viktor objected childishly as he stuck the pillows behind the small of Yuuri's back. "See if that's okay."

Yuuri let his weight fall. "Ooh, yes. That's comfortable." He relaxed into the bed with a sigh, loving the support on his back. It also angled his hips upward a little, to give Viktor easier access.

"Good!" Viktor got up to retrieve the lube, but Yuuri caught him by the belt loop and he jerked to a stop.

"You are very, very overdressed."

Viktor's lips curled up into that smirk that always made Yuuri's chest fill with butterflies. He pulled his shirt off, then quickly unbuttoned and slid his pants off, keeping his underwear on for some unknown reason. Yuuri openly stared, transfixed as he always was by Viktor's body, chiseled muscle pulling underneath his skin as he moved. He was a work of art, a well-kept machine.

Something deep within Yuuri's chest settled happily as he basked in his fiancé's beauty.

 _Mine. And I'm his_.

Viktor moved to the right side of Yuuri's hips, lying on his stomach and propping on his elbows. A sudden realization made Yuuri let out a noise of disappointment.

"I won't even be able to see you," he lamented, leaning to look at Viktor around the globe of his belly. He couldn't even remember what it was like to be able to see past it anymore.

Viktor's brows pinched momentarily, and he looked around the room, then a slow smile spread across his face. "Look to the left."

Yuuri did, and his eyes widened. "Oh, God," he whispered, heat pouring into his cheeks.

The mirror on the wall. Of course.

Yuuri could clearly see himself in the reflection. His eyes trailed down the sharp curve of his stomach, down to his bobbing erection between his legs, cupped loosely in Viktor's warm hand. Viktor held up a peace sign and winked at him in the mirror.

He would have a perfect view of Viktor sucking him off. Hot arousal zinged down through his abdomen, all the way to the tip of his cock.

Suddenly a soft, warm wetness touched his tip, and he gasped, the back of his head hitting the pillow.

"Oh, sorry, I forgot to warn you," Viktor said cheerfully, not sounding sorry at all, "you'll have to forgive my eagerness. It's been a long time since I've had this pleasure, you see." He wasted no time laving Yuuri's cock thoroughly with his tongue, slicking it up, then slipped it into his mouth and hollowed his cheeks, setting a slow, steady pace that had Yuuri sighing in relief. It was true, it really had been a long time since he had felt Viktor's mouth around him, his skilled tongue rubbing him in all the right places. His heart fluttered in his chest, and he shivered at the pleasant sensation that crawled up his spine with every bob of Viktor's head.

There was a wet sound as Viktor pulled off of him, only to quickly smear the fingers of his right hand with the lube. Yuuri watched him in the mirror with wide eyes and licked his lips in anticipation, feeling the seep of slick between his legs in response to the sight.

Viktor must have smelled it, because he perked up, staring down between Yuuri's legs. He touched Yuuri's right thigh. "Lift your knee," he said breathlessly, and Yuuri obediently drew his leg up until his thigh touched the underside of his belly. Viktor used his clean hand to pull Yuuri's legs apart, then scooted back to his position on his stomach. He slipped his fingers between Yuuri's cheeks, prodding gently at his entrance that was already embarrassingly wet, and slipped his mouth over his cock again, sucking and licking gently. It hardly took any time at all to prepare him; he was so relaxed, limp and floating on the feeling of Viktor's warm mouth and throat. God, he was unfairly good at this.

"Even just around my fingers, you feel amazing," he whispered hotly against the junction of Yuuri's crotch and shaft, and a firm, purposeful flick to his prostate stole the answer right off of Yuuri's lips, fizzy pleasure vibrating up through his belly.

By the time three fingers were in, Yuuri was moaning in earnest, smoothly rolling his hips up to meet Viktor's mouth and squirming as Viktor's fingers firmly rubbed circles into his prostate. He turned his head to look at the mirror, panting deeply at the sight. Viktor's silver head was bobbing fluidly up and down, silky fringe brushing the slope of Yuuri's lower belly. He looked to his right, and his heart skipped a few beats; he could see that Viktor was lazily rutting his own cock into the mattress through his underwear, and the sight of it had his mouth watering.

He was unsurprised to feel himself drawing near to climax; he had been pent up for a while. He'd likely orgasm multiple times, and he knew he'd be deliciously worn out by the end of it.

"I'm close," he warned in a breathy whisper, sifting his fingers through Viktor's soft hair, and he felt Viktor nod. He quickened his pace, but still kept the same easy, gentle rhythm, giving extra attention to Yuuri's prostate. Yuuri felt the telltale flush spill across his face and his breath quickened, his lower belly and crotch buzzing with the electric feeling of being right on the edge of orgasm. Viktor's head bobbed one, two more times, and Yuuri was gone.

"C-coming," he managed to get out, toes curling and heels digging into the mattress. He seized and shuddered with the slow, vicelike constricting of his walls around Viktor's fingers, closing his eyes and voicing a smiling, open-mouthed groan, back arching and brow furrowing. His back muscles pulled tight and his hips snapped up to thrust into Viktor's mouth with each heavy spasm; he felt and heard Viktor give a long, wet moan around his cock and swallow. The feeling of it ramped up the intensity of his orgasm, forcing a high, sharp cry from his lips and more slick from deep inside him that dripped around Viktor's fingers.

He fumbled a clumsy hand against Viktor's shoulder to tell him to stop once he started getting oversensitive, and Viktor pulled out and off of him, kissing his wet tip and licking his lips. Yuuri melted into the bed with a trembling breath, his head reeling and fuzzy.

"How was that?" Viktor asked softly, reaching up to brush Yuuri's damp bangs from his forehead with his clean hand and swiping a line of saliva from his chin with the wrist of the other.

"Wonderful," Yuuri sighed, "how did you know to be so gentle?"

Viktor wiped his hand off with a tissue, looking pleased. "I read that pregnancy can make you extra sensitive, so I didn't want to hurt you."

Yuuri's heart swelled with love. "You're so sweet." Viktor leaned to drop a firm, warm kiss on Yuuri's forehead that made him smile.

Viktor pulled his underwear off and tossed it aside, exposing his flushed, swollen length, the tip rosy and glistening wetly. Oh, Yuuri couldn't wait to get it in him. "How does your back feel?" Viktor asked, snapping Yuuri out of his staring.

"Just fine, surprisingly," he answered, wiggling a bit to test it. It gave no protest.

Viktor raised his eyebrows. "Your belly isn't too heavy?"

"No, I don't think so." Yuuri's hand automatically lifted to rub his round side.

Viktor's eyes were full of concern and anticipation. "Think you could handle missionary? I want to be able to see your face."

Yuuri nodded, blushing. Missionary was his favorite. It felt the most intimate.

"Condom?" Viktor asked, though his amused tone said he already knew the answer.

"Pretty sure we're way past needing one," Yuuri teased back, smoothing his hand up and over the taut dome of his baby bump.

A strange look lit Viktor's eye at the words, something pleased and possessive, almost smug. "Indeed we are," he said huskily, leaning to kiss beneath Yuuri's navel.

He slicked his cock with lube, and Yuuri let his legs fall open in invitation, blinking up at Viktor seductively. Or at least, he hoped it was seductively.

"Come on," he whispered, "I'm so empty."

Viktor's pupils visibly widened.

He took his cock in hand, and Yuuri felt the blunt, wet head give a teasing rub around his slicked up entrance. A rush of anticipation quivered down his spine. As Viktor tenderly pushed in, Yuuri barely felt the initial penetration, loose and relaxed as he was. Bit by bit, he was filled up; it only took Viktor a few times gently rocking his hips back and forth to bottom out completely, the hot skin of his hips touching Yuuri's backside.

Ooh, he felt full.

He rested his hand on his lower belly, closing his eyes in satisfaction and indulging in the feeling of the warm, thick cock inside him, his walls stretched pleasantly wide for the first time in weeks. Thanks to the careful preparation, there wasn't even the slightest prick of pain. It felt amazing.

Viktor tucked his arm around one of Yuuri's legs and rested the other on the side of his stomach, giving a few shallow, testing thrusts and shifting to get situated. "Comfy?" Viktor asked, his voice dropping low in his chest, rumbling. His sex voice, for lack of a better term, was stupidly attractive.

"Mmhmm." Yuuri nodded in bliss. "Very." He reached to rest his hand on Viktor's knee. "Maybe I'll just be a pillow princess from now on. This is nice, having you do all the work."

Viktor chuckled as he set a smooth rhythm, and the feeling of his cock slicking in and out so slowly and easily made Yuuri hum in appreciation, lips curling into a smile. "You'd do that to me? I'm hurt, _solnyshko_." His voice was wispy and tight.

Yuuri angled his hips to take Viktor deeper, clenching down hard as Viktor thrust in and pulling a gasp from his lips. "Nah, I'd never do that. I enjoy giving you pleasure too much." He smirked even as his face burned.

"Oho," Viktor chuckled sweetly, snapping his hips a bit harder and jerking the breath from Yuuri's lungs. "Cheeky. If you weren't so pregnant, I'd fuck you senseless." He threw Yuuri's own words from months ago back at him with a wicked gleam in his eye that made the fine hair on Yuuri's arms raise.

Yuuri gasped deeply, squeezing his eyes shut against the powerful surge of need that coursed through his belly and thighs. Oh, he wanted it so badly. He hadn't had a good, hard fuck in months. Part of him wanted Viktor to just let loose, to push Yuuri's knees back with his strong hands and throw away all restraint, to utterly _ruin_ him like he knew Viktor wanted to. His insides coiled tightly.

"Oh, you'd like that?" Viktor's hand smoothed slowly, deliberately over Yuuri's swollen belly, tilting his head and leering down at Yuuri through his silky bangs. "After you have the baby, perhaps I will. We'll test that famous stamina of yours." His voice deepened, lilting, smoky. Dangerous. "Perhaps you won't even be able to walk afterwards." He punctuated his words with a hard thrust and an expert twist of his wrist.

Yuuri's spine arched up into Viktor's touch, taken completely off guard by the sudden orgasm that crested and crashed over him in waves. He gave a squeaking, cut off grunt as his cock pulsed in Viktor's hand; he felt warm strips of semen land on his lower belly, and Viktor gasped at the tight ripple around his cock, his eyes slamming shut and his jaw visibly clenching.

It was short and brilliant, leaving Yuuri flush-faced and gasping, staring up at Viktor in shock. Viktor looked similarly incredulous, his face pink with surprise.

"Wow," Viktor breathed, "you've never come that fast before."

Yuuri hid his face, his cheeks burning hot.

Viktor cooed out a soft laugh, pulling his hands away and kissing them. "I feel like I should feel accomplished, but I doubt it was just my stunning charm. You're so sensitive lately." He placed both hands on the sides of Yuuri's belly, rubbing gently. "Do you need a minute?"

"I…maybe." Yuuri's breathing slowed, and he held a hand over his stuttering heart. "That surprised me, too."

"Hey," Viktor perked up, "you haven't had a contraction, and you've come twice already. That's good."

Yuuri reached over and knocked on the wooden side table. "Don't jinx me, for crying out loud," he muttered in mock anger, wiggling his hips to adjust, "I think I may still have one in me." He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Okay, I think you can go. Just take it easy."

Viktor resumed thrusting, very carefully, and Yuuri closed his eyes, his brows drawing downward. He was still overstimulated from orgasm, but Viktor was extremely gentle, slowing his movements if Yuuri made a pained noise, and soon, the almost-ache of sensitivity faded and pleasure overtook it.

He opened his eyes to see Viktor gazing down at him with rapt attention, blue eyes hot and searing. His skin prickled under the scrutiny, but not unpleasantly; Viktor was looking at him with such loving reverence that it made him blush. He maintained eye contact, reaching for Viktor's hand and holding it gently against the side of his belly, covering it with his own. Viktor's scent turned sharp and possessive in Yuuri's nose, something slightly wild burning in his eyes. Yuuri purposefully tilted his head to expose his neck in a submissive gesture, staring up into Viktor's hungry gaze through hooded lashes. He didn't always enjoy being submissive, but every now and then, it was nice to surrender control and trust Viktor with his pleasure. He knew Viktor would never, ever hurt him.

"I'm really close," Viktor finally panted, sweat trickling down his neck. His thrusts were becoming jerky and uncoordinated, and a peachy flush dusted his cheekbones.

"Don't fight it," Yuuri whispered, reaching up to tuck Viktor's hair behind his ear. "Let me see you, sweetheart."

A few more quick thrusts, and Viktor's head tipped back with a gravelly moan, and his hips stuttered, his face pinching and contorting in the expression that was for Yuuri's eyes only. Yuuri drank in the sight greedily, heat simmering in his lower abdomen as Viktor spilled inside him. How he adored that feeling.

Viktor caught his breath, his cock still twitching and spurting inside of Yuuri, and slipped his fingers alongside his cock inside Yuuri's soaked entrance. Yuuri gasped at the sudden intrusion. Pressing hard on his prostate and wrapping his other hand around his cock, Viktor gave him a few firm, skilled pumps that abruptly pulled a third orgasm from somewhere deep inside him, though it was a bit softer than the first two. He turned his head to the side and panted out a long, helpless moan as he shuddered through it, his back and hips twitching and his cock weakly spitting a few more droplets.

"Ohh, Yuuri," Viktor murmured, gently stroking him through it, "you're stunning like this, my love. So beautiful." He squeezed his eyes shut, his lips parting and his jaw flexing as he shuddered. He was still coming…? Sure enough, Yuuri could still feel the warm wetness spreading inside.

Yuuri let the praise wash over him, something inside him preening at the words. He didn't feel attractive at all, with how swollen and heavy his belly was now. The sincerity and love in Viktor's voice soothed his insecurity.

Viktor's hand slowed just when Yuuri was about to stop him, and he reached for a tissue, swaying and looking dazed. He pulled out and caught the spill that followed, wiping Yuuri and himself off a bit haphazardly, then tossed the tissue aside and collapsed onto the mattress, his breathing heavy.

"I think…that was the longest orgasm I've ever had," he whispered, his voice hoarse. Yuuri pulled him close with a little difficulty; the poor guy was limp as a dishrag, and he was heavy. He tucked Viktor's head under his chin and wrapped an arm around him, stroking his hair. Shaking his head, Viktor let out an incredulous sound and a weak, trembling "wow".

"Wow is right," Yuuri agreed softly. "I needed that badly." The ache of need that had been itching at him for a long time had finally been satisfied. He felt so much better.

Viktor nodded drowsily. "Mmm." Yuuri grinned. He was already half asleep.

He combed Viktor's hair back from his forehead, pressing a kiss to the damp, smooth skin. "You can take a nap if you want. I'm okay for a while." He was surprised that he wasn't bone weary, instead just feeling sated and relaxed.

Viktor's head grew heavier on his chest, and one of his arms came to drape loosely over Yuuri's upper belly. "Wake me in a few minutes, we can go soak," he mumbled through a heavy sigh, his breathing evening out and growing soft.

Yuuri hid a giddy smile in Viktor's hair, his heart soaring with happiness.

"I love you so much," he whispered, barely audible, and kissed the top of Viktor's head very gently so he wouldn't wake him.

-

After Yuuri woke him and they helped each other dress, they ventured past the part of the onsen that was normally closed to guests at this time of the night. The air became filled with the muted sounds of water flowing and bell crickets chirping.

"Kaa-san seems so happy to have us back," Yuuri murmured, taking his glasses off and pulling his shirt over his head. Viktor hid a smile at the sight of his round, bare belly. _So cute_.

Kicking his own pants off of his ankles, Viktor bent to scoop them up and fold them so he could set them on a shelf. "They all do. They missed you terribly."

"They missed you, too," Yuuri countered, his face turning pink when Viktor knelt in front of him to help him take his pants off. "I wish you didn't have to do this…"

Viktor leaned forward to press a soft kiss to Yuuri's bare bump as he slid his pants and underwear down. "I don't mind, you know." Yuuri stepped out of the pant legs, rubbing his upper arms.

"I know, but…it makes me feel…"

When he didn't finish the sentence, Viktor looked up. Yuuri's eyes had lost their focus, and he looked like he had tasted something bitter.

"Yuuri?" Viktor said uneasily and touched his thigh, sensing a tangible change in the air around them. Pale faced, Yuuri fumbled to hold Viktor's hand, sinking down to the floor and bracing himself with his other hand on the tile.

"Contraction," he mumbled, squeezing his eyes shut, and Viktor's pulse skipped a few beats. He got as close to Yuuri as possible, wrapping him in his arms and letting him rest his forehead on his shoulder. His breathing sped up to rapid, shallow panting through his mouth, and he let out a whine that wobbled with fear.

"Try to keep your breathing as even as you can, love." Viktor was shocked that he had been able to speak so calmly, what with his heart in his mouth. Yuuri nodded quickly against his shoulder, his posture tense, obviously struggling to regulate his breathing. That weird, unpleasant helplessness wrapped around Viktor's throat again, like it always did when Yuuri was in pain and he couldn't do anything to take it away.

For two long minutes, Yuuri rocked slightly back and forth and his breath rose and fell sharply, his face buried in Viktor's shoulder and his quivering hands clutching Viktor's back. Toward the end of it, he choked out a high, pained moan, and Viktor tried not to wince as he felt fingernails dig into his shoulder blades. The pain must have peaked.

"Viktor…!" Yuuri gasped shakily, bouncing his foot against the tile in a jerky rhythm, a sure sign that he was fighting hard not to have a panic attack. Viktor closed his eyes, his stomach clenching in sympathy.

"I'm right here…I've got you, darling…" He kissed Yuuri's temple and smoothed his hand up and down his back, feeling the delicate bumps and ridges of his spine underneath the smooth, bare skin. If he pressed his palm flat over Yuuri's left shoulder blade, he could actually feel how hard and fast his heart was pounding. How much pain was he in…?

After what seemed like an eternity, Yuuri finally drew in an unsteady, congested breath through his nose and gradually let it out, leaning back and folding his legs underneath him more properly; in his haste to get to the ground, they had been bent a bit awkwardly. "I wondered when that was going to catch up with me, not having one for so long like that…" he sniffled deeply, wiping his wet eyes with the heel of his hand, his lower lip trembling. Viktor's heart ached dully; Yuuri had never cried from a contraction before.

Viktor rubbed his back with one hand. "Bad?"

" _Bad_ ," Yuuri whispered, his voice weak and thready.

"Do you think you need to go to the hospital?" Even the word made Viktor's pulse jump.

Yuuri shook his head slowly, his eyes falling shut. "Not unless I have another one within the next few minutes, or they'll just send me home…"

Oh, he sounded so tired. Viktor cradled the back of Yuuri's head in his hand and pressed his cheek to his forehead, unable to come up with words to express how sorry he was.

After a few minutes of letting Yuuri recover, he brushed the hair from his damp forehead, pressing a kiss to it.

"Can you stand?" He asked quietly.

Yuuri gave a faint nod. "I think so."

Viktor helped Yuuri stand to his feet and slipped an arm around him to help him to the showers so they could wash off. It was a bit dodgy with Yuuri weak-kneed from the contraction, but they managed as best they could and then headed for the onsen.

"Not a fan of these slippery floors in here," Viktor muttered, firmly holding Yuuri underneath his arms as they walked. He slid the door aside, and the outside air was frigid on their wet skin.

"I'll be fine, as long as you help me. I wouldn't dream of coming here by myself," Yuuri assured.

Viktor could tell he was trying not to let his voice shake.

When they got to the water's edge, Viktor let go of him momentarily to step down into the hot water, then turned around and held his arms out. Yuuri fidgeted. "I'm heavy, Viktor, your knee…"

"It will only be for a second," Viktor encouraged, gesturing again. "And you're not that heavy." Yuuri reluctantly eased down and let Viktor take him into a bridal-style hold, setting him down carefully on a smooth rock underneath the steaming water. Yuuri immediately melted, slumping down to rest his head on the edge of the pool.

"Oh, that feels good," he whimpered, his eyes slipping shut. Viktor patted his shoulder gently, folding a small towel to slip underneath the back of his head.

"No more than thirty minutes, right? That's what the doctor said?"

"Mmhmm…" Yuuri rested both hands on his belly underneath the water. "Feels good to my muscles, they're always so sore after a contraction…" he opened his eyes to give Viktor a sideways glance as he sat down. "And yes, I am that heavy. I weigh about thirty pounds more than normal."

Viktor plopped a towel beside Yuuri's head and rested his own head on it, sighing in happiness at the heat that enveloped his body. "Where does all of that weight come from, anyway? The baby is still so small."

"Mostly from my blood."

"Your blood?"

"I have about fifty percent more blood than normal, because of the baby."

Viktor stared in disbelief. "Wow…that's pretty incredible."

"Yeah…I guess it is."

They fell silent, listening to the crickets chirping. An owl hooted softly in the distance, a low, mournful sound that always sent a few chills up Viktor's spine. He closed his eyes and just listened. Beyond, he could hear the faint sounds of traffic. Underneath the trickle of water, he could hear Yuuri's breathing, low and steady.

It was so nice to be back.

A smile crept across his lips. "Your mom calls me Vicchan now." The nickname still warmed his heart even now.

Yuuri breathed out a soft laugh, shifting to a more comfortable position. "She loves you so much. My whole family does. I think they loved you before they even met you, what with me talking about you constantly when I was little."

"Aww…" Viktor's smile widened to a goofy grin. Little Yuuri had probably been utterly adorable. He would find those baby pictures yet. "I'm just glad they don't hate me."

Yuuri turned to him and shook his head slightly, looking bewildered. "Why would they hate you?"

Viktor's cheeks turned red, and it had nothing to do with the heat from the onsen. He hadn't expected Yuuri to respond to that. "Just…the fact that I…" He winced. "Well, it was never my intention to get you pregnant."

Yuuri gave him a deadpan look. "This again?"

Viktor squared his shoulders. "I'm sorry, I still just…feel guilty."

"I don't see why you're still blaming yourself." Yuuri's voice was getting that sharp edge to it, the one that showed up when he was annoyed.

"Because I feel like it's my fault that you're pregnant?" Viktor knew he should stop talking, he could feel Yuuri's hackles raising without even looking at him, but his mouth plowed on. "Because I feel like I ruined your season with one mistake? Because seeing you hurt so much like this, with such a difficult pregnancy, it just…" his voice caught, and he turned away, tears pricking his eyes. He was getting worked up and emotional because he was tired, he shouldn't have kept talking. They had already had similar conversations so many times, it made no sense for him to even bring it up.

Yuuri was silent. Viktor kind of wanted to sink under the water in shame.

"Our baby's nothing but a mistake, huh?" Yuuri said icily.

Viktor flinched, his throat aching. "Of course not. You know I didn't mean it that way."

When he chanced a glance back at Yuuri, he surprisingly didn't look as mad as he sounded. His eyes were thoughtful. He was quiet for a moment, then spoke softly.

"You know, at first, I felt like I was tying us both down too early. I'm only twenty-four, and I'm about to have a baby. Seems crazy when I think about it…" Yuuri caressed his bump under the water, and Viktor saw a lump roll across the taut skin; the baby was kicking. "I didn't want to sacrifice our time together. Because pretty soon, we won't be alone anymore. We won't just be two people. We'll be a family."

A family. The word made Viktor want to cry.

Yuuri continued, blinking up at the stars, the lights from above dancing in his eyes like fireflies. "I felt like keeping the baby was a huge mistake, and that we would regret it. That it was going to…trap us. Trapped into parenthood before we're even married. I struggled with that for a long time." He took a deep breath. "But…we'll still live. We'll still skate, and go for runs with Makkachin, and…and have sex, and win competitions, and love each other." He rested his hands on top of his belly, twisting his engagement ring. "This whole thing has drawn me so close to you. I've never felt so close to another person in my life, and I trust you so much more now than I used to." He turned his head, and Viktor was surprised to see not anger in his eyes, but passion. "The baby isn't a mistake, Viktor. It's brought us together more than it's ever driven us apart."

Viktor swallowed hard around the lump in his throat.

"Also, if you'll recall, both of us participated in the…uh." Yuuri coughed. "Baby making. So it's not your fault."

A slightly hysterical giggle burst from Viktor's throat, even as he blinked away tears. "We did." He reached up to wipe his eyes. "I'm sorry I keep bringing that whole thing up. I still just don't know how to deal with how guilty it makes me feel, I guess."

"This is how, right here." Yuuri gestured between them. "Talking about it. Do you feel any better?" Viktor considered for a moment, then nodded. "Good. If talking is what it takes to make you feel reassured, then we'll talk about it as many times as we need to." He gave a sweet smile.

Viktor scooted closer and settled his arm around Yuuri's shoulders. "I love you," he said softly, "thank you for putting up with me."

Yuuri leaned up and kissed him on the jaw. "I love you, too, Vitya." The Russian name on his lips always sounded so right.

"Think you're out of the woods as far as another contraction?"

"It looks like it, thank goodness." Yuuri gave his belly a rub. "Stay in there a bit longer, little bean, it's not quite time for you to come out yet."

Viktor chuckled and stretched his legs out under the water, crossing his ankles.

"You know," he said nonchalantly after a few minutes, "the last time we were out here, you let me suck you off."

The reaction was immediate. Yuuri spluttered, and his face went red. "Viktor!"

"It was nice," he said smugly. "We should do it again sometime."

Yuuri poked him on the nose. "We are _not_ doing that again. I'm pretty sure you wrung me dry for at least the next three days."

Viktor had to hold in a loud bark of laughter when he remembered people were sleeping. "I suppose I did." He pressed a kiss to Yuuri's temple, then stood up, offering his hand. "Come on. You're tired, I'm tired, even the baby's probably tired. We need sleep, we have a doctor's appointment in the morning."

Yuuri laughed. "Agreed."

"Come on, then, upsy-daisy…"

-

**v-nikiforov**

  
Forever thankful that I get to wake up to this precious sleeping beauty every morning  <3 #victorybaby #imsoblessed #thirtyfourweeks #nottoomuchlonger #wecantwaittomeetourlittlebean  
♡1,269,657 likes

 **TimeToDuel** okay…it's totally unfair that he's that pretty even when he sleeps, I look like a damn corpse when I sleep. Lmao #victorybaby  
207 likes

 **Raiarain** okay Viktor we know you're gorgeous and imma let you finish but I think your fiancé might be an actual angel from heaven  
1,696 likes

 **v-nikiforov** no arguments here whatsoever  
     7,389 likes

 **christophe-gc** im?? look at his eyelashes??what the actual fuck he's like a prince from a fairy tale @katsuki-y how tf do you slay even in your sleep #teachmeyourways #ilooklikeshitwarmedoverinthemornings  
3,577 likes

 **katsuki-y** i don't really do anything special i don't think ^ ^; may just be baby hormones, that's why my cheeks are kinda red and splotchy most of the time now. and don't lie, you know you're a catch!  
     4,279 likes

 **christophe-gc** honnnn you are so sweet I swear. stahp ;* and you were gorgeous before the baby and you know it  <3  
          4,173 likes

 **ThreeRingNightfall** the noise I jUST MADE WAS SUPERSONIC #victorybaby #fdhkajdjdkfbfk  
2,412 likes

 **phichit-chu** yall are just the most stunning couple, I can't deal with you sometimes ♡_♡ #victorybaby #lookathowsleepyheis #mybestfriendisadorable #loveyall  
5,238 likes

 **wizard246** viktor better have gotten permission to post this picture of yuuri cause if not its gross and rude to post pics of sleeping people w/o their consent  
1 like

 **CherryBlossomPanic** I'm pretty sure Viktor wouldn't be that thoughtless, plus it's not really any? Of your business??  >_> #thefuck #whodoyouthinkyouare  
     6,291 likes

 **megumin-best-girl** from what I've seen, Yuuri seems like a very private person, so yes, I imagine Viktor always asks first. But still, not really your business… #hesbeautifulbtw  
          3,200 likes

 **motherfuckingjesseeisenberg** it's really not your place to police a grown man's instagram pictures of his significant other whom he obviously loves very much. I have a hard time seeing Viktor doing it if it upset Yuuri in any way.  
               2,386 likes

                    >See 8 more comments

 **meepmeep-minami** oh my goodness ;_; you guys are total relationship goals ♡ #victorybaby #howisyuuridoingbtw  
3,316 likes

 **katsuki-y** awww, thanks :) i'm doing well. getting pretty uncomfortable, but i'll make it!  
     4,512 likes

 **meepmeep-minami** that's good! hang in there, you're almost at the finish line! :D  
          2,461 likes

 **katsuki-y** trying my best! thank you ^ ^  
               1,490 likes

 **yuri-plisetsky** @katsuki-y will you be at the nhk trophy?  
1,367 likes

 **katsuki-y** i'm going to try to be there, if I feel good enough!  
     2,412 likes

 **yuri-plisetsky** don't push yourself.  
          2,387 likes

 **katsuki-y** i won't :)  
                    1,789 likes

 **broken-doll-dreams** sleepy little mama  <33 #victorybaby  
900 likes

 **december-rain** goddamn viktor's eyes are gorgeous #theirbabyisgoingtobesopretty  
374 likes

 **NotSoGrumpFan** how is it possible to be in a dead sleep, eight months pregnant, and still look like a freaking model?? #hessohandsome #imjelly  
372 likes

 **izzy-yang** this is a lovely picture ♡ #victorybaby  
791 likes

 **as-vivid-as-it-truly-is** this made me actually cry because he looks so precious and sweet ;-; #victorybaby  
846 likes

>See 832 more comments

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter had to be physically dragged out of me, so I apologize if it's not very good ;; when I get writers block, I REALLY get it.
> 
> I wonder if it's possible for Viktor to be any more in love at this point...
> 
> Thank you guys for the oodles of comments, especially on that last chapter! I've...almost decided on a boy or a girl. Almost. Maybe?
> 
> Now, I hate this, but updates may slow a little while I'm in school. It's my last semester, and a lot is riding on my grades right now. I apologize for it, but I want to graduate, lmao. I'll still write a much as I can!
> 
> Next chapter: NHK Trophy! And some other stuff.
> 
> Until next time! ♡


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well HELLO THERE, GUESS WHO GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE
> 
> I'm so sorry for the hiatus, but it was necessary. Without it, I wouldn't have gotten such good grades, I don't think. I ended college with a bang! Lol
> 
> I'm so happy to be writing again! I hope this chapter is worth the long wait for you guys. I packed as much fluff into it as I could, with some balance of course.
> 
> No warnings for this chapter! Enjoy! ♡

_34 weeks, 2 days_

  
All through the trip to Osaka, Viktor worried.

He worried when Yuuri flinched and leaned over in his seat on the bullet train, rubbing his back with the heel of his hand, his belly resting heavily between his thighs and visibly shifting from the tiny, squirming life within. The baby kicked and twisted so strongly now that Viktor didn't know how Yuuri took it. Having something that solid and heavy wiggling around in your belly had to be uncomfortable, even painful. Viktor couldn't even imagine how it felt.

He worried when Yuuri got motion sick going through a turn in the taxi and tightly clapped his hand over his mouth, his eyes closed in concentration and his face deathly pale. He had managed not to throw up, but for the remaining time of the ride, he had been dizzy and lightheaded. Viktor had held Yuuri close to his side and snuggled his nose into soft, dark hair, wishing with all his being that he could take the sickness away. He knew how much Yuuri despised feeling nauseous.

He worried when, while walking down the hall to their room on the fourth floor of the Hotel Osaka Bay Tower, Yuuri's face blanched and he trailed off in the middle of their conversation. His hand shot out to grip Viktor's upper arm, and he doubled over and clutched his belly, squeezing his eyes shut and puffing out strained breaths as a contraction gripped him.

Viktor's heart had skipped a few beats as Yuuri panted through the pain, but thank God it didn't seem to be a bad one, and it was the first one he had had all day. Nevertheless, it was enough to make Viktor want to wring his hands.

How was Yuuri so damn _calm_ about all of this? It was _nerve-wracking._

As they were unpacking their suitcases in their comfortable hotel suite, Viktor felt Yuuri give him a hug from behind as best he could, the firm roundness of his belly pressed to the small of Viktor's back. He felt a tiny kiss on his shoulder blade, and it warmed him down to his fingertips.

"I can practically smell how anxious you are," Yuuri murmured against Viktor's shoulder, arms warm and gentle around his waist, "and I understand why you would be, but I promise, if I'm hurting too badly, I'll tell you. You need to try to relax as much as you can before tomorrow."

Viktor gave a self-deprecating sigh, lacing his fingers through Yuuri's on his abdomen and rubbing his thumb over the smooth skin on the back of his hand. "I know. It's just so hard, seeing you all big and hurting like this. I feel like little bean could come any time now, and I guess it's kind of…wearing on my nerves. I shouldn't say that," he immediately amended, frowning at himself, "I know it must be about a hundred times worse for you."

"That doesn't take away your right to be concerned," Yuuri reminded, giving him another brief squeeze around the waist before returning to his suitcase to unpack his toiletries. He slowly knelt down with a labored huff, digging to the bottom of the suitcase. "But try to remember, I'm not due for another month, at least. So for now, I'm fine. Or I will be, once I get this on me." He pulled out his heating pad and tossed it to the bed, eyeing it with longing. "It helps so much when my back hurts." He pulled out the small carry on bag containing the toothpaste, their toothbrushes, and other personal items from their bathroom, heaving to his feet with the help of the side table and waddling to the bathroom to deposit the bag.

"I noticed it was hurting you on the train." Viktor stopped him with a touch on his shoulder when he passed back by on the way to his suitcase, and Yuuri raised his eyebrows. "Prop up and rest." He brushed Yuuri's hair back and pressed a kiss to his temple. "I'll unpack the rest for you."

Yuuri's face relaxed into a breathless, grateful smile that made Viktor's heart flutter. "Oh, thank you. All that's left is the shampoo and a couple more bags of stuff to go in the bathroom." He padded to the bed, slipping his Vans off before sinking down onto the mattress with a long, weary groan. "Toss me my pajama pants, if you don't mind? I'm tired of wearing jeans."

Viktor found the aforementioned flannel pajama pants neatly folded in Yuuri's suitcase, but instead of throwing them, he crossed the room and set them next to Yuuri on the bed. Yuuri's cheeks turned pink as Viktor coaxed him to his feet, helping him pull his maternity jeans off to his ankles and discard them, then gently tugged the pajama pants up until Yuuri could reach them. Surprisingly, he didn't protest this time, and murmured a shy, quiet "thank you" as he sat back down, adjusting the waistband on the underside of his belly and pulling his sweatshirt back down over it.

"You're welcome, love." Viktor smiled and moved to return to unpacking.

An abrupt yelp-turned-sucking-gasp from Yuuri made him whip his head back around so fast he almost got dizzy.

Yuuri was hunched over with his eyes squeezed shut and his expression twisted, bracing one elbow on his knee and curling the other around his big belly. He hissed out a few short whimpers, then his voice rose, strained and sharp. "Ohh, ooh, that hurts—" his voice cracked, and his eyes slammed shut.

Adrenaline blazed through Viktor's veins, widening his eyes and sharpening every sense.

"Yuuri, what are you feeling?" He barely got the words out, his throat was so tight.

"I…baby's feet are just…" Yuuri huffed, gritting his teeth. It seemed like it was a bit difficult for him to talk. He gasped again, lurching forward and gripping his belly. "God, little bean, that's my _stomach_ , I need that," he pleaded breathlessly, his face crumpled in discomfort.

Viktor's could barely hear over the ocean in his eardrums. "Just kicks?"

"Y-yeah, I…"

A gigantic weight lifted off of Viktor's shoulders, and it was a few seconds before he could unfreeze his limbs enough to sink to his knees and sag against the bed in utter relief, resting his forehead on Yuuri's thigh. He let his breath out slowly, feeling his heart banging against his ribs, shaking his chest with each pump.

_Not labor, just kicks. Calm down, for God's sake, everything is fine. No baby yet._

"Oh…" when Viktor looked up, Yuuri's face was crestfallen. "I scared you," he said weakly, trembling fingers carding through Viktor's hair. "Oh, Viktor, I'm so sorry."

Viktor's heartbeat slowly began to return to a normal speed. "Don't apologize, love. It wasn't your fault." His eyes drifted down to Yuuri's swollen belly, and his face softened. "Little bean doesn't mean it."

"I'd still rather get some warning before they sucker punch me like that…" Yuuri briefly squeezed his eyes shut, forcing out a heavy breath. His brows shot down and another high, sharp "oh!" left his lips as his back twitched forward in surprise; even through the fabric of the shirt he wore, Viktor very distinctly saw the baby roll over in the tight confines of his uterus. It had to be horrendously uncomfortable. Yuuri panted and whimpered a soft, miserable-sounding curse, burying his forehead in his hand. It took Viktor aback. Yuuri hardly ever cursed outside the bedroom unless he was distressed or in significant pain.

"Baby, that hurts," he whimpered faintly without lifting his head.

Guilt raked at Viktor's heart with clawed fingers. That nasty, accusing voice in the back of his head was singsonging _"your fault"_ to him again, but he tried his best to ignore it.

He patted Yuuri's protruding belly, almost shocked at the force he felt against his hand when he stilled it briefly. "Strong like mama," he said softly.

"Understatement of the year…and they're not even fully developed yet, either…" Yuuri shifted uncomfortably, moving very gingerly and grunting out pained noises as he did. Viktor saw his belly shift again, and Yuuri huffed in exasperation. "I don't suppose I could catch a break for ten seconds, could I?" He tiredly deadpanned down at his belly, and his hand drifted down to cup underneath. "Where on earth do you get that kind of energy…?"

Viktor leaned forward to press his lips to the small, raised lump the baby had created on Yuuri's stomach. "We see you, sweetheart," he crooned very quietly, keeping his lips against the soft fabric of Yuuri's sweatshirt and smoothing his finger over the little protrusion that could be an arm, or a foot, or a hand, "but if you could calm down for your mama, that would be wonderful. He's very tired, you see." He kissed the spot once more.

Yuuri's soft, gentle brown eyes gazed down at his big belly, full of tender love, despite the discomfort. "I think they're probably ready to be out of there," he murmured, stroking the baby's tiny limb just beneath the surface of his skin. "It can't be too comfortable, being all squished up in such a cramped space."

Viktor hummed thoughtfully, rubbing his cheek on the firm warmth. "I wouldn't think so. A bit like being in a sleeping bag that's too tight, I'd imagine."

"A sleeping bag full of water, at that…" Yuuri wrinkled his nose. "Weird."

Viktor chuckled and moved to get up, but did a double take at Yuuri's feet, frowning. "Your ankles are swollen," he murmured, sliding the hem of the pants further up and touching the inward curve of the bone above Yuuri's ankle socks. The skin was puffy and red, and slightly shiny.

Yuuri's shoulders slumped in a sigh. "Yeah. They hurt, too. I was beginning to think that I had gotten lucky, that I wouldn't have to deal with swollen feet, but I guess not. Yuuko told me her feet would swell and hurt so badly she couldn't wear shoes for the last couple of months."

Viktor pursed his lips in sympathy, tracing Yuuri's ankle bone with his thumb.

Once Yuuri was propped up with the heating pad behind his back, Viktor sat on the bed and picked Yuuri's feet up, resting them in his lap and gently peeling his socks off.

Of course, Yuuri immediately squirmed in guilt. "Viktor, you're spoiling me," he started to object, his forehead creasing.

"And?" He held Yuuri's right foot as gently as if it were a blown glass sculpture, massaging around the ankle bone and Achilles tendon with his thumbs. He made sure to use a slow, easy touch, in case the swollen area was sensitive.

Yuuri blinked down at him, shaking his head in resignation, but a rueful smile pulled at his lips. "And…well, thank you." His head plopped on the pillow, and he let out a sigh of relief that still sounded a bit reluctant, linking his fingers together on his belly. "Even though you don't have to go above and beyond like you do."

Viktor smiled, giving Yuuri's knee a pat. "In your own words, my dear, I obviously want to." He brightened his voice. "Besides, it's not like you can reach your own fee—" A pillow sailed through the air and whapped him in the face with surprising speed, and he burst out laughing, catching it before it could fall to the floor.

"I don't need you to remind me how huge I am, smarty," Yuuri said airily, pointedly raising one eyebrow down at his bulging belly and poking the side with one finger, "your kid reminds me on the daily with how freaking heavy they are."

"That they do," Viktor chuckled. Yuuri's completely ruined center of gravity could attest to that; as the weeks wore on and his belly continued to grow heavier, his balance suffered more and more. With how much he wobbled when he walked now, it was a wonder he still got around as well as he did.

"At least my stomach is safe for now, baby's head is back down here." Yuuri pulled his shirt up over the globe of his bump and rubbed his fingertips into the underside. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, and his belly rose and fell with the tired sigh. "Unfortunately, that also means they're camping out on my bladder. Not terribly comfy."

Viktor gently felt around next to Yuuri's fingers, feeling the hard sphere he spoke of. It shifted underneath their fingers, protruding up in a small mound that rolled across Yuuri's lower belly.

"Much slower now…must be getting sleepy," Yuuri noted.

"All tired out from all that moving, huh?" Viktor whispered. He watched in fascination as the lump of the baby's head traveled upward, pushing the stretched-taut skin of Yuuri's navel up as it went. Yuuri suddenly jumped and breathed out a soft groan of discomfort, his dark brows pinching together in a wince.

"I guess I spoke too soon," he mumbled, giving a weary, almost-annoyed glare down at his stomach.

Viktor leaned down on a whim and pressed his mouth to Yuuri's lower belly, speaking directly against his warm skin. "Little bean, don't do that to mama," he chided in a low, soothing voice, "you're hurting him."

The baby wiggled once, and Viktor felt tiny feet kick against his lips, then, to his surprise, the baby slowly turned and rolled back down into Yuuri's lower belly. Viktor leaned back and cupped his palm flush against the slope right above Yuuri's waistband, and he could feel the baby's head smoothly shifting into place again, cradled perfectly in his hand.

Yuuri gawked down at him. "I can't believe that worked," he marveled with an incredulous chuckle, a smile of relief spreading across his face. "That feels so much better, they're not pressing on my stomach anymore."

Viktor let out a quiet laugh, shaking his head. "I can't, either. I honestly wasn't expecting it to, but I'm glad it did." He picked Yuuri's foot up again, resuming the gentle massage.

"My husband, the baby whisperer," Yuuri chuckled as he pulled his shirt back down, gazing down at his bump and rubbing circles into his sides, affection twinkling in his eyes. "Little bean loves your voice."

A soft, feathery rush of love rose in Viktor's heart.

"You've never called me that before," he murmured. He cupped Yuuri's heel, stroking the delicate bones of his foot, tracing the calluses and bruises on his skin that would never truly fade. "'My husband.' I like how that sounds." He looked up to see a rosy blush dusting Yuuri's cheeks.

"I'm ready to say it and have it actually be true," Yuuri said softly, his thumb rubbing his ring, spinning it on his finger. "I'd marry you tomorrow if I could."

"Why can't you?" Viktor gave a lopsided smile. "Say the word, and we'll go to the justice of the peace after the competition."

The words hung between them for a moment, and the air seemed to change. Yuuri blinked a couple of times, his brows slowly raising.

"But…I haven't won a gold medal yet."

Yuuri's tone made Viktor's heart feel heavy. He was completely serious.

"Oh, Yuuri," he sighed, "I was just kidding around when I said that. We'll get married whenever we feel the time is right." He touched underneath Yuuri's chin gently. "I wouldn't put a condition on my love for you like that. I never should have even joked about it."

Yuuri was quiet for a moment, his forehead wrinkling in uncertainty.

"Do you mean that?" Insecurity crept into his tone, and he was fidgeting with the cuticle around his thumbnail.

Viktor gently held his hands, stopping him from peeling the skin raw, as he so often did when he was nervous.

"Of course I do," he said quietly, "Have I given you reason to doubt?"

Yuuri hastily waved his hands. "Oh, no, it's not that, I just…well. I think I might…not want to just…I want a _real_ wedding." He ducked his head, blushing furiously.

Viktor's heart did a little flip. "Oh…I do, too." He picked Yuuri's hand up and dropped a kiss on his knuckles. "I've dreamt of it since the day I fell for you."

Yuuri's blush somehow deepened even more. "I've probably dreamt of it since I was about twelve years old, to be honest," he murmured under his breath, and Viktor resisted the urge to clap his hand over his heart and die of cuteness. Yuuri cleared his throat. "How, um…how big do you want it to be? How many people?" He twisted the ring on his finger again.

"Oh, it doesn't have to be big, unless you want it that way. I always figured it would be a close affair," Viktor said carefully. He knew Yuuri didn't particularly enjoy large gatherings of people.

Yuuri brightened. "Yeah, same here. Just our friends and family. Big weddings are a pain, anyway." He patted his stomach. "And I'd kind of like to wait until after the baby comes. I don't really want to be pregnant for it." He smiled and shook his head. "Never imagined having a shotgun wedding when I was a kid." They both giggled, then Viktor cocked his head thoughtfully.

"How about…let's see." He had a sudden thought. "What would you say to an April wedding? April of next year, so the cherry blossoms will be blooming?"

Yuuri twisted his lips to the side in thought. "Would that be enough time to plan?"

"Sure, if it's going to be small." Viktor switched to Yuuri's other foot to give it the same treatment. "What all do you want in the wedding?"

Yuuri blinked rapidly. "I…I don't know, just a ceremony and maybe a cake afterward? Not too much more than that. I'm kinda low maintenance, sorry," he laughed.

"Works for me. Big weddings are excruciating to plan, much less be in." Yuliana's wedding had been interesting, to say the least…

"I can imagine." Yuuri drummed his fingers on his belly. "An April wedding would give me some time to lose the baby weight, too."

"Not like you'll have much to lose, to be honest. You've gained a little fluff, but you're still pretty much all baby." Viktor gave the taut bump a gentle rub.

"Still, I'd rather not look like a burlap sack for our wedding day," Yuuri grumbled.

"If you're a burlap sack, you're the cutest, sweetest, most gorgeous burlap sack I've ever laid eyes on," Viktor said very seriously.

"I really appreciate that," Yuuri replied in a monotone.

They stared at each other for a moment with straight faces, then broke into peals of laughter, hugging each other close. Viktor pressed his nose to Yuuri's neck, breathing his lovely scent into his lungs with every inhale. The fragrance that clung to Yuuri changed a little more every day lately, steadily gaining such a sweet, adorable flavor alongside his normal scent. He smelled like…well, Viktor supposed he simply smelled pregnant. Full of life and love.

In the easy silence that followed, Viktor felt Yuuri's soft lips on his forehead, then his breath warmed both Viktor's skin and heart as he spoke in a wavering murmur.

"Any wedding where I get to marry you will be a perfect wedding in my book."

Viktor smiled.

"I couldn't possibly agree more."

-

The massage that Viktor had given Yuuri's feet and ankles had helped far more than he'd thought it would; they barely looked or felt swollen at all once he had finished, and the pain had been greatly reduced. They had both dropped off to sleep soon after, exhausted from the long, uncomfortable train ride.

Yuuri drifted awake a little over an hour later, feeling like he could have slept for another twelve hours. The heavy, bone-deep tiredness never seemed to leave him anymore, no matter how much sleep he got. When he had realized it a few days ago, he had quietly resigned himself to being exhausted for the rest of the pregnancy, and urged for December nineteenth to hurry up and come.

Holding his breath for a moment in his half-asleep state, he waited for the baby to karate-kick his internal organs, but no such assault came. He sighed gratefully, nestling back down into the soft mattress. His little passenger must be still asleep.

As he ran a hand up his round side, he realized that, unlike when he had gone to sleep, the other side of his belly was comfortably cradled in a pillow now, taking any strain off of his back. Viktor must have tucked it under there for him, he realized with a flutter of warmth in his heart. So thoughtful.

Speaking of Viktor…

The sight that greeted him when he opened his eyes brought a sleepy smile to Yuuri's lips. Viktor was asleep on his side, facing Yuuri, his lips parted and his eyelids twitching with his dreaming. They had fallen asleep holding hands, and even now, their fingers were still loosely intertwined between them on the bed. Viktor's other hand hung limply over his toned abdomen, not quite covering the strip of pale skin and chiseled line of his hip bone that was exposed by his shirt having ridden up in his sleep. The golden band on his finger sparkled in the early evening light like a tiny beacon, a silent pledge of devotion that never failed to make Yuuri's heart race.

Yuuri reached to brush a few flyaway strands of silver off of Viktor's forehead, his gaze roving over the handsome features that were lax and softened by sleep. He scooted a little closer, then leaned up to place a gentle kiss on Viktor's cheek.

Viktor stirred and gave a quiet, whuffing sigh, but didn't wake, burying his cheek further into the pillow and giving Yuuri's hand a faint squeeze in his sleep.

Yuuri hid his lovestruck grin in the pillow, his heart tapdancing wildly in his chest. Viktor was so _adorable_ when he was asleep.

A soft buzz on the nightstand drew his attention: someone had texted. He reached behind to pick his phone up from where it was charging, squinting at the screen and seeing that it was Yuri. Curious, he unlocked his screen and accessed his messages.

_< <you're staying in the bay tower, right_

He settled his head back on the pillow, turning off the screen rotation on his phone so he could lay on his side without it flipping, and typed out a reply.

_> >Yes. Where are you?_

_< <just got here and headed to the rooms, they're on the third floor. where's yours_

_or like, are you okay for me to come to you_

_cause gramps and the battle ax are driving me nuts and i'm not sure whether to murder them both or sign them up for couples counseling_

_it's okay if you're too tired or whatever_

Yuuri breathed a quiet laugh through his nose, touched by the consideration, begrudging as it sounded.

_> >Sure, come on up. Viktor is napping, but he needs to wake up anyway or he won't sleep tonight. If you want, we could maybe go eat somewhere to get you away from them._

_< <k. what's the floor and room number_

_> >Fourth floor, room 408._

_< <i'll head up after i drop my suitcase in my room_

_> >Okay._

Yuuri set his phone back down and slipped his glasses on, then reached over to gently stroke Viktor's shoulder, gradually waking him up. He watched as Viktor's slumber dissipated like morning fog, entranced by the sight. Viktor was the only person he knew who could look gorgeous waking up from a dead sleep.

Viktor cracked his eyes open, revealing slivers of baby blue, then blinked and squinted and rubbed his eyes with the hand not held in Yuuri's own.

"Hmm?" It was less of a word and more of an incoherent sound, breathed out through Viktor's nose.

Yuuri lifted the long, slender hand to his mouth and planted a delicate kiss on Viktor's knuckles, then kept his voice low and soft as he spoke, so as not to jar Viktor's sleepy brain. "Yuri just texted. He's coming to the room in a little bit. Said Lilia and Yakov were driving him crazy."

Viktor's eyes closed in a slow blink as he comprehended the words through his drowsiness. "Mm." He rubbed his eye again, and a wide yawn garbled his next few words. "Strange, him wanting to hang out with us."

"I kinda wondered, too. He must be lonely without Otabek to hang out with." Aside from the time he spent with his best friend, Yuri was far from a social person.

Viktor pushed himself up sleepily and linked his fingers to raise his arms above his head in a stretch, squeezing his eyes shut and letting out a high, strained noise as he did. When he relaxed, he huffed out a breath and rubbed the side of Yuuri's stomach.

"How do you feel?"

Yuuri drew in a deep breath through his nose and sighed, long and content. "Good, I think. Kind of hungry, and still pretty tired, but the nap helped. Maybe a little heartburn, but it's not bad. It will probably go away once I eat." He struggled to a sitting position, reluctantly letting Viktor pull him most of the way up when it became apparent that he wasn't getting up without help, then crossed his legs underneath his stomach. "And…I don't know, I feel…heavier than normal. I noticed it this morning, but I thought I was imagining things." He smoothed his hand down his swollen belly, scrutinizing it. "Do I look any bigger?"

"I don't know. Here, stand up." Viktor got up and offered his hand, and Yuuri slowly rose from the bed with his help, wrinkling his nose and breathing through the ache in his back. Viktor walked around him, looking at his belly from different angles and squinting. "Raise your shirt," he coaxed. Yuuri complied, but after further inspection, Viktor shook his head. "No, not really."

Yuuri pursed his lips, absently rubbing his upper belly. "Hmm. Little bean's just gaining weight, then." His belly was definitely tugging on his back more than normal. He had to consciously stand up straight, or the weight of his stomach would make the small of his back arch uncomfortably.

"I don't doubt it. You do have this now, though." Viktor reached out to tap his index finger on the apex of Yuuri's bump, and Yuuri frowned.

"Have what now?"

Viktor led him to the bathroom mirror and stood behind him, resting his chin on his shoulder and reaching around to point up his belly in a line. "This."

For the first time, Yuuri noticed a thin, vertical line down the middle of his stomach, intersecting the dark smudge where his belly button used to be. It was barely noticeable, only the slightest bit darker than the rest of his skin. He touched it lightly, staring in confusion.

"When did that get there?"

Viktor linked his fingers on the underside of Yuuri's belly, his large palms seeping warmth into the tight skin. "I noticed it earlier when I was chatting with little bean. I Googled it, and it's normal. Just one of those things that happens when you're pregnant. It will go away after you have the baby."

Yuuri unconsciously smiled as he traced the line up and down his belly with the tip of his finger. He found that he kind of liked it; just another piece of physical evidence of the ever-growing baby in his womb.

And at least it wasn't quite as noticeable as the changes to his complexion. Either from hormonal changes or just the exertion of carrying several extra pounds on his front, or perhaps from a combination of both, his cheeks were almost always decorated with a splotchy, uneven flush now.

Viktor, of course, just thought it was cute, as he did with nearly everything else relating to Yuuri.

 _"It's like you're blushing all the time!"_ he had gushed when they had first noticed it wasn't going away, nuzzling Yuuri's rapidly darkening cheek with his nose, _"it's so precious!"_ He had been even more delighted when they had finally realized it was because of the baby, and though Yuuri didn't particularly enjoy being red-faced all the time, Viktor's joy was so contagious that he found he didn't mind the pink flush as much.

He drew in as deep a breath as he could, patting Viktor's hands on his belly. "Do you want to go eat somewhere when Yuri gets here?"

"Sure." Viktor pressed a kiss to his cheek and nuzzled his neck briefly, inhaling against his scent gland. "Are you sure you feel good enough to?"

"Pretty sure. Nothing hurts too badly." Yuuri turned from the mirror and slid his shirt back down over his stomach. "Plus, I'm really getting hungry."

Viktor cooed lovingly and gave the bump a pat. "Which means baby is hungry too. Are they asleep?"

"Yes, thank God." Yuuri slowly waddled back to the bed and checked his phone. Yuri had texted an 'omw' a few seconds ago, so he'd be at their room soon. "They've been napping since you kept them from squishing the life out of me earlier."

"Aww. Lazy bean."

Yuuri reluctantly reached for his jeans and bid his pajama pants farewell for now. "Don't jinx it, maybe they'll sleep for a while…"

Though, with how the baby was laying on his bladder, that might hold its own set of problems.

With a resigned sigh, he padded to the bathroom for what felt like the tenth time that day already.

Minutes later, when Yuuri opened the door to reveal Yuri in all his hoodie-wearing, leopard-print covered glory, the teen whistled down at Yuuri's belly, blond brows shooting to his hairline.

"You're fucking _huge_."

Yuuri couldn't help but give a slightly indignant laugh, his hand self-consciously falling to his belly. "Gee, thanks. I missed you too."

"Oh. Yeah. Hey." Yuri gave a deadpan little wave to both of them. "Are we going to go eat? I'm starving."

"I've been looking," Viktor piped up from the other side of the room, wiggling his phone for emphasis, "and there are actually several restaurants here in the hotel. I'm leaning toward the one on the twentieth floor, it has a wide variety of foods."

Yuuri nodded. "I'm fine with that. We won't even have to leave."  
  
"As long as there's food, I don't give a shit where we go. Airplane food is nasty," Yuri grumbled.

"Shall we go, then?" Viktor rose from the bed, unplugging his phone and handing Yuuri's to him.

"We'd better. The spawn demands sustenance."

Viktor huffed. "You know, when they get older, I'm going to tell little bean how much you called them that…"

"You'd call them a spawn, too, if they were leeching off of your organs."

"I would _never_ —"

"Definitely the spawn of something unholy."

"Yuraaa, not you too!"

-

_34 weeks, 3 days_

  
Yuri's program was jaw-dropping.

He seemed to have permanently reclaimed his center of gravity, because he skated nearly flawlessly. The [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fcj4KsEcPEA) was just as fierce and commanding as he was, with a costume to match: black and tastefully form-fitting, with deep purple sequin accents. The routine was fluid and daring, and some of the borderline provocative hip rolling probably caused a few raised eyebrows, but Yuuri knew that it was more out of rebellion than a desire to be suggestive, to fit the tone of the song.

Likely due to the success of his exhibition skate last year, Yuri had finally been allowed to choreograph one of his programs, this one, by himself (after a few heated arguments, of course), and Yuuri could tell he was so happy to finally be allowed to skate the way he wanted. He both charmed and intimidated the audience with his passionate performance, yanking his hair tie out near the end of the routine and throwing his long, loose hair over his shoulder in a defiant gesture. The audience had been in a frenzy.

However, it hadn't been quite enough to topple Viktor's lead.

Viktor placed first in the short program, and Yuri was so close on his heels that despite the fact that he wasn't even the one skating, Yuuri felt that all-too-familiar floaty anxiousness in his belly as they stared up at the score board.

They were neck and neck. Yuuri was so proud of both of them that he felt like his heart could burst, but at the same time, it was nerve-wracking to watch. Michele Crispino had trailed behind Yuri by several points, placing in third, and Phichit had followed by a small margin, then Seung-Gil Lee after him, and finally a young skater from England that Yuuri hadn't recognized.

The glare that Yuri had sent Viktor's way as they left the building could have made a flower instantly shrivel and die.

Ice Tiger of Russia, indeed.

-

_34 weeks, 4 days_

  
The morning of the free skate dawned cold and pink. The brisk kind of morning that got your blood pumping.

Well, it would, anyway, once Yuuri managed to get himself out of bed.

Tucked under the thick, warm comforter and sheets, he contentedly gazed up at the ceiling with a sleeping Viktor's head pillowed on his chest, sifting his fingers ever so gently through the soft hair on the back of his head. Viktor was snuggled close to Yuuri's side, curled around the veritable mountain of his belly underneath the covers, and every now and then, he would shift and make dreamy sounds in his sleep, pressing closer to the baby, as if to protect them.

Yuuri's eyes roved over Viktor's pale lashes, counting each one that sparkled like tiny threads of silk in the early morning light. A drowsy smile pulled at his lips.

_He's beautiful._

Lying on his back like this wasn't exactly the most comfortable position, and the pressure of the baby lying on his bladder was eventually going to be hard to ignore, but Yuuri just couldn't bring himself to move Viktor. He looked so relaxed and peaceful, and it wasn't often that he got good rest anymore.

God knew he would need it for today.

As per usual, Yuuri had been woken up by the baby, turning this way and that in his womb and stretching the taut muscle walls. Their movements were mercifully lazy and gentle, low down in his belly, and periodically, he felt the petite spasms of baby hiccups twitch in his womb. The delicate sensation always made him smile. From time to time, he would feel the hard press of the baby's head deep down in his pelvis, but then they would turn again, doing slow, easy somersaults and stretching their tiny limbs. Luckily, kicking the breath out of him didn't seem to be on the little thing's agenda for the day.

At least, not yet.

He thoroughly enjoyed how easy it was to breathe, though; with how low the baby was, the weight of his uterus wasn't too heavy on his stomach and lungs, for once. He couldn't help but marvel at how far his stomach protruded up from where he was lying, and at how it would ripple and wobble slightly from side to side with the baby's turning, visible even underneath the covers. It was fascinating to watch and feel.

The baby wasn't at the forefront of his thoughts, however.

Yuri was.

The previous couple of days, he had been…strange. Different, but Yuuri couldn't figure out exactly how. Maybe it was just the fact that Yuri had finally passed him up in height, if only by a tiny bit (that _very_ much counted, according to Yuri). It was kind of bewildering to see the diminutive, angry boy of his recent memory gradually morphing into a young man.

No, it wasn't his height, Yuuri finally decided with a shake of his head. It was…something about his attitude. About the way Yuri had interacted with Yuuri, specifically. He had hardly been rude to him at all, aside from a couple of joking comments about Yuuri's baby bump and his voracious appetite, and the comments had hardly been serious, lacking the biting, hurtful edge that his words usually held. The lack of hostility was almost unnerving, and Yuuri had done a double take at him more than once when Yuri had continuously passed up perfect opportunities to say something snide toward him.

As perplexing as it was, he wasn't going to complain. He loved Yuri like a brother, but _jeez_ , if he wasn't insufferable sometimes. He supposed he should stop questioning and enjoy the niceness while it lasted.

He glanced at the clock on the nightstand, heaving a soft sigh when he saw it was almost time for Viktor to get up and get ready for the final day of the competition. Yuuri desperately hoped that his knee would hold out; the night before, at the restaurant where they had all met up, Viktor had reluctantly admitted to it being stiff and painful. Yakov had noticed Viktor limping, and when they had parted, he had quietly told Yuuri to keep an eye on Viktor to make sure he rested and didn't strain himself.

He really wasn't looking forward to having cameras in his personal space again, but he would press through, for Viktor. It felt even stranger to be in the public eye now, since his belly was much bigger than it had been at Skate Canada, and try as he might, he couldn't ignore how people stared at him. Yuuko hadn't been kidding when she said late-term pregnancy made you feel vulnerable; when they were in crowded places, the compulsion to wrap his arms protectively around his stomach was almost too strong to resist. Something deep in his chest had tugged at him at the short program the day before, commanding him to keep the baby safe at all costs.

And, of course, the press had been all over him, either fawning over his baby bump or eagerly asking when he would return to skating. However, unlike last time, as personal as the questions had been, they had been asked very politely, to his pleasant surprise. Not for the last time, he thanked the heavens for the relative lack of intrusiveness in his home culture.

The hand that wasn't occupied with Viktor's hair found its way under his shirt to his stomach, something that had been a morning routine ever since the baby had first started moving. Sort of a quiet time between him and Chiharu, or Miuna, whichever one turned out to be in there. The taut, warm skin undulated underneath his palm, slowly pushing up from the baby's squirming, and a lump rose in his throat.

"My sweet little bean…" He breathed the words out very softly so he wouldn't wake Viktor, smoothing his hand up and down his firm, tight bump. Though, he suddenly realized, they weren't much of a _littl_ e bean anymore. They were getting so big, and they would only get bigger as the weeks wore on.

 _Oh, well_ , he thought affectionately, patting his belly when he felt another inward wiggle, _No matter how big you get, you'll always be my little bean._

As far as weight went, little bean was right on track, growing and thriving thanks to Yuuri's wholesome, nutrient-rich diet. Babies did most of their weight gaining in the last few weeks of pregnancy, gaining around half a pound every week, and he was really starting to feel the difference. Even though his back would suffer, having a healthy baby in his arms when it was all said and done would more than make up for the temporary back pain.

An excited little thrill shot down through his belly. He couldn't _wait_ to hold them. He looked forward to it more every day.

It was the most bizarre thing to him, how his heart was filled with such intense, boundless love for a person whose story hadn't even truly begun yet. A fragile, dependent being, relying solely on him to sustain them, to protect them and nourish them. To give them life. It took his breath away to even think about.

Looking back on the day he had found out he was pregnant, he never would have guessed at that time that he would come to love that tiny, grey bean on the ultrasound monitor more than his own life. At the time, he had been utterly terrified, and he had thought it was the end of everything he had worked so hard for. That it would ruin his relationship with Viktor beyond repair, and that he would end up alone, either raising a child by himself, or, in the worst case, grieving over a baby he had been forced to abort.

As he gazed down at his sleeping fiancé, and their unborn baby nudged his hand from inside his womb, a gentle smile relaxed his mouth.

Oh, how wonderfully wrong he had been.

Viktor's phone alarm chirped to life in the silence, and Viktor barely raised his head off of Yuuri's chest before reaching over with a clumsy hand and slapping the alarm off, all without even opening his eyes.

"Good morning," Yuuri chuckled. Viktor just mumbled something unintelligible, dropping his head heavily back onto Yuuri's chest, and the sudden, almost-painful weight on the sensitive flesh made Yuuri draw in a sharp breath through his nose and flinch in surprise.

Viktor's head shot up instantly, wobbling a bit, his eyes wide and still slightly bleary. "Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry, I forgot," he fretted, his accent thicker than normal in his grogginess, "are you okay?" He touched Yuuri's chest so gently that Yuuri barely felt it.

Yuuri combed the messy silver bangs off of Viktor's forehead, revealing both blue eyes, dark with concern. "I'm fine. It startled me more than anything." He tipped his chin forward to press a kiss to Viktor's forehead, earning a drowsy, smiling hum. "I should probably change out the pads, though, I think you made me leak…" He could feel the unfamiliar dampness already, and it made him wrinkle his nose. He moved to get up, but Viktor held his shoulder.

"I'll get them. Where are they?"

"Oh, thank you. They're in my suitcase somewhere, I tossed them in there last night."

Viktor slid out of bed with all the grace of a wet noodle, rubbing his eyes with both hands and yawning, pajama pants loose and almost falling off. Yuuri hid a smile at how disheveled he looked, and reveled in the fact that he was the only one who could see Viktor like this.

He studied Viktor's gait carefully as he watched him amble to the suitcases and kneel down, sleepily rummaging for the box of nursing pads. The limp that Yuuri had learned to look for was present, but not nearly as pronounced as it had been the evening before after the short program.

"How's your knee?" Yuuri asked. Viktor stood up slowly, twisting his torso to the side in a stretch, eyes tightly shut. When he relaxed, Yuuri could tell he was hesitant to speak. The slight pinch between his brows gave it away.

"It's…alright," he finally said, "Not great, not awful. Way better than last night, though. I need to go ahead and start stretching it, I think." Viktor handed Yuuri the box of pads, sitting back down against the headboard and extending his knee out in front of him.

As Viktor went through his stretching routine, Yuuri slipped a pack of nursing pads out of the box, setting it to the side and pulling his shirt up over his belly to expose his chest. Chill bumps raised on his skin from the cool air, and he shivered and pulled the covers up over his bare belly. Even inside the hotel room, it was obvious that it was freezing outside. The window panes were sparkling with frost in the early morning light, and when Yuuri had first woken up, there had been a tiny bird perched on the windowsill, fluffed up and snuggled into its own feathers to combat the cold. Yuuri wouldn't be surprised if they got snow in the next few days.

He gingerly peeled the sticky-edged pad off of one nipple, seeing that, indeed, a splotch of colostrum had soaked into the cotton. He leafed a tissue out of the box on the nightstand, patting the thin fluid off of his skin, being as gentle as possible so as not to jostle and cause more leaking, or worse, more discomfort. His chest hadn't really gotten noticeably bigger (which he was sort of glad for), just a lot softer, but unfortunately, it was starting to ache and feel rather heavy. Sometimes all it took was the lightest brush against fabric to make him leak, and as happy as he was that he would be able to feed the baby with his own body, it was slightly annoying. The colostrum had a very light, sweet smell that was similar to sweet potatoes, at least according to Viktor. Yuuri was just glad that the scent wasn't unpleasant, and if he changed out the pads fairly regularly, it wasn't noticeable at all.

Once he was clean, he laid a new pad over each nipple, smoothing out the wrinkles in the sticky parts on the edges, then wrapped the used ones in a tissue and perfectly lobbed them into the small trashcan underneath the desk. Viktor gave him a couple of congratulatory claps and a "nice shot", and he bowed dramatically as best he could propped up in the bed.

It took some effort and grumbling, but he and Viktor both managed to get out of bed to shower and brush their teeth. Though he had been reluctant to leave the warm bed, Yuuri was glad he had once the soothingly hot water was streaming down his shoulders and back. It felt wonderful to his weary body, especially his back and the sides of his belly. Since his uterus was so heavy now, the muscles and ligaments that helped support it were constantly sore these days.

"By the way," Viktor's voice sounded from beyond the shower curtain, and Yuuri slicked his wet hair back out of his eyes and looked up curiously. Before he had time to react, Viktor leaned around the curtain and planted a kiss on his lips.

"What was that for?" Yuuri asked, touching his lips shyly.

"I forgot to give you a good-morning kiss," Viktor replied with a sunny smile. He moved to pull the curtain closed again, but Yuuri reached out to stop him.

"Wait." He took the shower rail for safety and leaned to press an answering kiss to Viktor's mouth. Slender fingers combed through his hair, holding him in place for a heated moment of tongues and warm breath, and when they parted, Yuuri licked his lips. He could taste the mint of toothpaste. "There, now we both got one."

Yuuri felt the lovestruck grin Viktor gave him settle around his heart like a toasty blanket.

As Viktor styled his hair in front of the bathroom mirror, already dressed in his free skate costume, Yuuri wrapped up in his fluffy robe (that just barely stretched to fit around his beach ball of a middle now) and padded back to the closet to choose what he would wear. He wasn't normally too concerned about what he looked like, but he wanted to look nice for this. There would be cameras everywhere.

"Oh, babe, I meant to ask," Viktor's voice echoed against the bathroom tile, "Before we go, do you want to run by the café in the lobby and get you something to eat? I know you and little bean are hungry."

"Yes, please," Yuuri responded, smiling to himself at the thoughtful gesture. He _was_ hungry. The granola bar he had eaten a few minutes ago hadn't done much good. "We'll have to leave earlier, though."

"I don't mind. You both need the nutrients."

He decided on a soft, crimson, cable-knit sweater, pairing it with his nicest pair of jeans and his thick brown scarf. The sweater was a pleasant match to the red beading on Viktor's costume, and it would keep him warm on the rinkside.

As he untied the belt of his robe and sank down on the bed to begin the arduous task of pulling the clothes on, Viktor emerged from the bathroom, regal and stunning. He looked like a noble knight from a fairytale, in his glittering black and white costume and with his silver fringe swept to the side just so. While twelve-year-old Yuuri probably would have been too shy to even look, present-day Yuuri wasn't nearly as bashful now. He whistled long and low, raising one brow in a sultry expression as he slipped his arms into the sweater.

"Any chance of getting your number, handsome?" He asked teasingly, and Viktor's cheeks turned an attractive pink.

"Only if I get yours in return," he countered with an admiring smile, automatically reaching to give Yuuri his hand so he could stand, then helping him pull his jeans the rest of the way up; he had given up about halfway up his calves. "I love this color on you. You look amazing in red, it brings out some lovely russet tones in your eyes." He kissed the tip of Yuuri's nose, and Yuuri smelled the cool, minty remnants of toothpaste again. "Like sparkling garnets." He pecked Yuuri's lips as well.

Yuuri's cheeks warmed and he huffed through a bashful smile. "You're gonna make my face even redder." He leaned up to give Viktor a quick return kiss before pulling the wide, cloth waistband of the jeans up and over his belly, smoothing out the wrinkles before folding the hem of the sweater back down, then loosely wrapped the scarf around his neck.

"You'll still be just as cute." Viktor stepped back, his eyes twinkling. "You look gorgeous." He looked Yuuri over, tapping his lips. "But…hmm…" he darted to the closet, coming back with his long, tan trench coat and holding it up with a heart-shaped smile. "You need a finishing touch, I think."

Yuuri gave a soft laugh, letting Viktor help him into the heavy coat. "I guess if I'm going to help Yakov coach you, I should look the part, huh?" He snuggled his nose into the smooth fabric on the inside, and Viktor's cool, calming scent filled his lungs. The warmth of the coat cocooned around him, and coupled with Viktor's pheromones permeating the fabric, wearing the coat was like a constant, comforting hug from him. It would keep him nice and toasty in the frigid air of the rink.

"Indeed, you should," Viktor said gravely, adjusting the thick collar of the coat around Yuuri's scarf, "people might talk, otherwise." They both snickered. "There's one glove in each pocket, by the way, if your hands get cold." Viktor's teasing smile softened a bit, and he reached down to cup the underside of Yuuri's belly, supporting their baby in his strong hands. Worry and hesitation swam in his blue eyes, and his voice was almost pleading as he spoke. "Are you absolutely sure you feel good enough to go? I know it wore you out yesterday, and I can tell you're still tired…"

Yuuri opened his mouth to protest, but slowly closed it again and pursed his lips, frowning. He hated to admit it, but Viktor was right. By the time they had gotten back to the hotel the previous day, the ache between his shoulder blades and in his lower back had been so bad that it had been uncomfortable to breathe deeply. Viktor, bless him, had given Yuuri a thorough back massage to help him feel better, but he was still tired, even now. Though, he reasoned, since that was becoming the norm these days, he should probably get used to pushing through the tiredness.

He drew in a deep breath, considering his answer carefully. "I think if I sit down as much as I can, I'll be okay. I feel pretty good right now, so that should help." His hand fell to cover Viktor's against his stomach. The baby was still sitting low, giving his lungs plenty of room. It almost felt strange to be able to breathe normally again, though as a consequence that was much to his annoyance, the lower the baby was, the more he waddled.

Viktor looked a little skeptical, but didn't argue.

"Okay…if you're sure." Viktor's hands felt around on Yuuri's stomach, rubbing gently into the tight skin with his fingertips. "Feels like baby's back is laying against the front of your belly." His fingers traveled up the curve, stopping just below Yuuri's navel. "Oh. There's the head, if I'm not mistaken."

Yuuri felt around at the same spot, and sure enough, the distinct firmness of the baby's head met his fingertips.

"Head up again," he murmured, stroking the spot with his thumb, imagining that he was stroking the back of the baby's tiny head, covered in thin wisps of (silver?) hair. Out of nowhere, his throat ached and his nose stung.

"Sweet little bean's so comfy, sleeping away in mama's tummy," Viktor crooned, caressing the sides of Yuuri's belly with gentle hands. Yuuri looked up at him, and the glow of adoration on his face was so raw and tangible that Yuuri felt like he could reach out and touch it. Viktor knelt in front of him, wrapping his arms around Yuuri's midsection and rubbing his cheek on the baby bump. He was quiet and still for a moment, as if gathering his thoughts, then whispered "Yuuri?" so softly and tenderly that warm tears pooled in Yuuri's eyes.

"Yes?" He managed to whisper through his tight throat.

"How is it possible…to love someone this much…?" Viktor's voice grew thin and broke mid sentence.

A tear escaped Yuuri's lashes, plipping onto his sweater. "I don't know," he answered honestly, voice wavering, reaching up to wipe his eyes underneath his glasses.

Viktor said no more, but Yuuri could see his pale eyelashes beginning to clump together with tears as he blinked. He pressed a long, soft kiss to the curve of Yuuri's belly, right over the baby's head, then rested his forehead over the same spot, hugging the round, firm bump that kept their child safe. Yuuri closed his eyes and gave up trying to stifle the tears, letting them slip down his face in warm trails, and cupped the back of Viktor's head in his hand, expressing wordless love.

For a while, they were still, apart from the gentle rub of Yuuri's thumb on the back of Viktor's silky hair, and the shifting of the baby in Yuuri's womb.

When Yuuri saw that it was getting close to time to leave, he breathed in a slow sniffle, reaching up to wipe his cold cheeks. "We should get ready to go. Yakov will have a fit if you're late."

When Viktor rose to his feet, Yuuri was surprised to see his eyes red and his face crumpled with emotion, cheeks wet and lips pinkened from his tears. A mottled flush crept down the sides of his face, like he had been trying to keep his tears quiet. It twisted Yuuri's heart into a pretzel; it wasn't often that Viktor cried enough to blotch his complexion like that.

He traced the glistening tear track on one of Viktor's cheeks with his thumb. "Why are you crying? I'm supposed to be the hormonal mess here," he joked weakly.

Viktor took his hand, pressing it to his cheek and sniffling shakily. Another tear slipped down his cheek, and Yuuri tenderly brushed it away. He spoke after shuddering out a few quiet breaths.

"You know how you told me you cry sometimes because you love the baby so much?" Yuuri nodded wordlessly, and Viktor's lip quivered. "I think that's why. I've never felt this kind of love before, it's…just so _much_ —" His mouth twisted again, and he quickly covered his eyes with one hand, hunching forward with the effort of stifling his tears.

Yuuri's heart broke. "Oh, sweetheart, come here…" He pulled Viktor as close as possible, and Viktor hid his face in Yuuri's neck, crying so softly that Yuuri could barely tell he was, save for the shaking of his shoulders and the occasional sniffle.

Yuuri let him cry for a few minutes, gently rocking him and rubbing his back, doing his best to ignore his own back's protests at the awkward leaning-forward position. He tried not to feel too worried. He had a feeling it was more than just love for the baby that was making Viktor emotional; he had been so stressed out lately because of so many different things, and he tended to bottle his feelings. Crying might take some of the burden off of his heart.

The silent tears slowly tapered off, and Viktor pulled back to swipe the moisture off of his face with the heel of his hand, sniffling and looking everywhere but Yuuri's eyes.

"I didn't really intend to cry all over you like that," Viktor managed to cough out through a wet, apologetic laugh.

Yuuri raised up on his tiptoes and kissed Viktor's cheek, tasting the salt from his tears. "Don't be embarrassed," he whispered, wiping away the wetness with his thumbs, "tears are nothing to be ashamed of. It's nice to let it all out sometimes."

Viktor drew in a deep, trembling breath, pressing his cheek to Yuuri's forehead. "Have I told you today how much I love you?"

"…no, not today, I don't think." Yuuri smiled fondly.

"Because I _do_ , Yuuri." Viktor kissed his forehead, lips leaving a warmth that lingered. "So very much."

Yuuri wanted to melt. "I love you, too." Their lips met in a languid kiss, and when they separated, Viktor's mouth was relaxed into a serene smile. Even though his eyes and cheeks were still red, he looked like he felt a lot better.

Viktor gathered his lanyard and wallet and stuffed them in his duffel bag, and after he pulled on his Team Russia jacket, Yuuri laced their fingers together.

"Let's go." He winked. "You have a gold medal to win, so I can kiss it."

Before they turned for the door, as subtle as it was, Yuuri was positive that he saw Viktor's happy expression flicker.

-

Yuri looked uncharacteristically nervous.

His pale brow was pinched, and judging from the flexing of his jaw, he was chewing the inside of his cheek as they watched Michele Crispino perform his free skate routine. He was also cracking and rubbing his knuckles, a nervous habit that Yuuri himself used to cope when he was anxious.

Yuuri studied Yuri as subtly as he could out of the corner of his eye. He figured that Lilia had probably helped Yuri style his hair, which was twisted and threaded into a tight, elaborate updo with his long, shining ponytail like a golden waterfall at the back of his head. Braids knit closely to his scalp, weaving in and out of each other, and a smattering of tiny, green crystals that matched his eyes perfectly was pinned into one side of his hair. The crystals matched his costume as well, a feather-light top of soft emerald and blue, with silver and gold beading sprinkled along the neckline and down the shoulders, and twisting down both legs of the stark white pants. The almost completely open back of the top was a bit racy, but from what Yuuri could tell, it fell just within the guidelines of what would be allowed in competition without a deduction in score. Yuri pulled it off well; it showed off his lean, powerful back muscles.

Strangely, Yuri shook his head when Yuuri asked if he was cold. He had no idea how he wasn't; the air in the rink hovered just below freezing, and his back was very exposed.

"Got too warm," he explained curtly, jerking his head toward his discarded Team Russia jacket in his chair.

Yuuri gave him a bewildered frown, but didn't question. Yuri was already prickling with nervousness, he didn't want to make it worse by making small talk. Feeling chilly himself, he slipped on the brown leather gloves that were in his pockets, rubbing his hands together vigorously and exhaling a steamy sigh.

After the fact, Yuuri had absolutely _kicked_ himself for the medal kissing comment he had made. He hadn't even considered how much more pressure saying something like that would heap on Viktor's back, but he could tell that it had, simply from the slight strain in Viktor's smile after he had said it. Viktor was in the practice area now, stretching, and Yuuri couldn't help but wonder how many times the phrase he'd spoken had echoed in Viktor's head. The expectations of everyone were already so high, and Yuuri feared he had made it a lot worse.

When the time came for him to skate, Yuri swept past Yuuri and nodded fiercely at the " _ganbatte_ " he offered.

A sudden draft of strange-feeling air tickled Yuuri's nose, so abrupt and brief that he thought he had imagined it, but it immediately left his mind as Yuri circled to the center of the rink, grimly waving to the crowd as the announcer spoke.

"Returning to the ice to perform now is former Grand Prix Final gold medalist, Yuri Plisetsky. Once again, Plisetsky's theme of this season is 'duality'. He is in second place as of now, and he has three quads planned in this program…"

The rink went silent as Yuri took his starting position, and soft [piano](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ua7vsWw2b8) flowed through the air like a river, almost harshly contrasting the previous day's rap-filled, edgy performance.

Yuuri felt Viktor's hand on the small of his back and briefly turned his head to smile at him; he had finished stretching.

"How's your knee?" He whispered.

"Alright, for now," Viktor replied lowly, and Yuuri felt the soft squish of Viktor's cheek against his temple and the warmth of an arm around his shoulders. "If I'm not reckless, I should be just fine. You?"

Yuuri took his hand and slipped his fingers through Viktor's longer ones. "Holding out so far. Not too much back pain." Not wanting to miss anything, they both focused their full attention on Yuri.

He skated with a hauntingly beautiful juxtaposition of ferocity and grace, as deadly as a tiger stalking its prey, yet as soft and tranquil as a swan gliding across a lake. Nearly every twist and turn he performed was perfect, though he stumbled and touched down on the quad toe loop landing, but when he soared through a flawless quadruple salchow toward the end of the program, the applause was deafening.

The closer the time drew for Viktor to skate, the more on edge Yuuri felt. His nerves were a bowstring, pulling tighter and tighter.

Yuuri snuck a glance at Viktor toward the end of the performance; his blue eyes were trained on Yuri, lit with a mixture of pride and determination.

He wasn't going down without a fight.

When Yuri relaxed into his finishing pose, his chest heaving and his face sweaty, flowers and plushies rained down onto the ice around him, accompanied by the ear-splitting screams of his fans. He knelt to pick up a small tiger plushie from the ice as he skated a few laps, pumping the toy in the air in triumph.

"An absolutely stunning performance by Yuri Plisetsky! Sixteen years old, ladies and gentlemen. Amazing."

Yuri skated to the border, his face flushed with exertion, and a tiny smile turned his lips up. For once, he looked genuinely happy. He didn't snarl when both Lilia and Yakov met him with open arms, or even when Yuuri offered him a hug and a "well done" on his way to the kiss and cry.

His score was a whopping 201.84.

Yuri covered his mouth and his green eyes widened in disbelief, as if he hadn't expected such a high score, and Yuuri could have sworn he saw tears well up in his eyes as he stared up at the board and Lilia rubbed his back. She looked suspiciously misty as well, and Yakov looked immensely proud.

All too soon, it was time for Viktor to take to the ice.

After Yakov gave Viktor a few final words, and before he went out onto the ice, Yuuri pulled him down for a chaste peck on the lips, then threaded their fingers together and gazed up into the soft blue-green eyes.

"Please, be as careful as you can," he pleaded quietly, breath freezing in the air between them.

Viktor's left hand fell to rest on the side of Yuuri's stomach, then he shifted his weight to lean closer, gently pressing his own abdomen against the baby bump. The baby was kicking, so Yuuri knew that Viktor had pressed close so he could feel it, and that knowledge filled his heart with love.

"I'll do my best, _solnyshko_ ," he murmured in reply, squeezing Yuuri's hand and resting their foreheads together.

Yuuri held Viktor's other hand firmly against his belly, staring into the bottomless pools of blue and praying that Viktor took his words to heart.

"That's all I ask for."

As the announcer spoke and Viktor looped to the center of the rink, Phichit silently joined Yuuri at the barrier, leaning his elbows on the wood.

"Congrats on qualifying," Yuuri whispered, nudging Phichit's shoulder with his own, and Phichit wrapped an arm around Yuuri's shoulders and gave him a gentle squeeze.

"He'll be fine, Yuu. Try not to get caught up in worry."

Yuuri sighed heavily. "You know, I'll never be fully convinced that you're not a mind reader."

"I'm not. I just know your tells, and I know the cause of them." Phichit patted his back. "Deep breaths, little mama. Your hubby's got this."

Oh, Yuuri hoped he was right.

Throughout his performance, it was obvious, at least to Yuuri, that Viktor was favoring his left knee, if only a tiny bit. His step sequences were just as tight as normal, but he wobbled slightly on one jump landing, and the skating didn't seem quite as effortless as it always did, though Yuuri and maybe Yakov were probably the only ones who could truly tell. He was obviously concentrating extremely hard.

Yuuri's heart nearly rocketed up into the top of his head when on the landing of the last jump, Viktor stumbled.

The world slowed to a crawl around him.

_Please, no._

Viktor caught himself without touching down. Just in time.

Yuuri's heart pounded in the pit of his throat, hard and fast. That was _close_.

Phichit rubbed Yuuri's upper arm in wordless comfort, and at the same time, the baby gave him a sharp, irritated kick to the side, as if to say "calm down up there, mom."

Viktor finished the performance strongly with no falls, but it fell the slightest bit short of being up to par for his normal skill level. Judging from the crease between his brows, he knew it, and he looked a lot more winded than he normally would have been, since he in his infinite wisdom had refused to heed Yakov's advice and change out one of the quads near the end for a triple. Being so anxious about his performance probably hadn't done him any favors, either.

It was going to be close.

When Viktor stepped off the ice, Yuuri wrapped him in a tight hug, having to lean forward to accommodate the baby bump between them. The sting of Viktor's pheromones was potent in his nose, concentrated from the physical exertion of skating, and the scent of it calmed Yuuri's racing heart.

"Well done, sweetheart," he murmured into the sweaty shoulder, and he felt Viktor's hand come up to card through his hair.

"It wasn't perfect," he rasped, breathing heavy and uneven, and Yuuri felt his fingers shaking. He was in pain.

Yuuri drew back and cupped Viktor's ruddy, freezing cheeks, staring fiercely into his eyes.

"I didn't ask you to be perfect. You did your best, right?" Viktor nodded, a bit slowly, and Yuuri pulled him into a searing kiss that fogged up his glasses, mouthing gently against the ice cold lips and feeling them tremble. When he broke the kiss, he pecked the tip of Viktor's pink nose for good measure. "Then it was perfect to me."

Viktor's face creased with emotion, and he leaned down to rest his forehead against Yuuri's.

"Thank you," he whispered.

As Yakov joined them and they sat down in the kiss and cry to wait for Viktor's score, Yuuri noticed Yuri fidgeting in his seat off to the side, and he seemed to be breathing heavily, glancing from the door to the scoreboard and back.

_Poor kid…he's so tightly wound about this…_

When they announced the scores, Viktor kept his two point lead by the skin of his teeth, and the crowd went wild.

Viktor's eyebrows shot up and a disbelieving smile cracked his face, and Yuuri and Yakov sandwiched him in a triumphant hug, whooping and celebrating.

"That's my Vitya," Yakov growled, giving Viktor a hard smack on the back that Yuuri swore he felt in his own muscles.

"Yakov, I'm _old_ , handle with care!" Viktor wheezed, and Yakov scoffed loudly, throwing an arm around Viktor's shoulders and squeezing.

"If you ever call yourself old in my presence again, I swear, I'll bludgeon you with my cane, boy."

"I knew you could do it," Yuuri sang through his laughter, and Viktor turned away from Yakov to pull Yuuri into a kiss that had the people around them whistling. Forgetting their audience for a moment, Yuuri melted into it, his eyes fluttering shut, lost to the feeling of Viktor's warm lips.

"Here now," Yakov grunted, sounding a bit far away in Yuuri's mind, "there are children watching, have some decency." Though his words were stern, Yuuri could tell that he wasn't actually irritated. They obediently broke the kiss, giggling against each other's lips.

Suddenly remembering that Viktor placing first meant that Yuri had been cemented in second place, Yuuri quickly turned to see Yuri's reaction, afraid that he'd be upset.

However, Yuri's face held a much different expression than he had expected.

He was standing now, his eyes wide and unfocused as he stared not quite _at_ the scoreboard, but more _through_ it.

An expression not of disappointment, but of something akin to fear.

Abruptly, Yuri turned to hurry out the exit next to the kiss and cry, pulling his black jacket on and yanking his hood up, ducking around the cameras carefully.

When Yuri swept past him, Yuuri noticed just then how deeply flushed his face was, and it made him sit up straighter. Not only that, but the strange scent he had picked up earlier swept past, too.

The pit of Yuuri's stomach suddenly grew heavy with a dreaded thought.

He looked around uneasily; most everyone in their vicinity was occupied with crowding in around Viktor. It didn't seem like anyone had noticed Yuri leave, save for Lilia, who was looking around in slight confusion, searching for her student. He had managed to give everyone the slip.

Everyone except Yuuri.

He gave Viktor's jacket sleeve a subtle tug, whispering that he was going to the restroom and that he'd be right back.

Viktor's eyebrows raised and his breathless smile of victory faded. "Feel sick?" He whispered in concern, immediately ready to help.

Yuuri shook his head. "Just need to check on something," he whispered back, standing on tiptoe to kiss Viktor's cheek. "I'm so proud of you, sweetheart. If I'm not back in a few minutes, text me, okay?"

Viktor's eyes narrowed a bit in curiosity, but he nodded trustingly and turned back to the press.

Yuuri politely weaved through the crowd, waving off a few reporters with apologetic smiles, but luckily, no one spoke up about him leaving. He supposed being this heavily pregnant had its perks; they probably just assumed he needed a bathroom break.

…which, okay, wasn't exactly _un_ true, but it could wait.

Once he was in the hallway, he glanced around, unsure of where to begin searching. His pulse thumped harder in his neck the more he thought about it, connecting the dots in his head. If his hunch was correct (and God, he hoped it wasn't), Yuri wouldn't be anywhere nearby, but where on earth _would_ he be?

Yuuri's phone pinged in his coat pocket, and he fumbled for it and yanked it out, eyes widening when he opened the text from Yuri.

_< <i need help_

Yuuri had never typed so swiftly in his life.

_> >Where are you?_

_< <fourth bathroom down the hall_

He broke into as fast of a jog as someone who was eight months pregnant could manage.

He found the bathroom quickly, and his stomach jumped in trepidation when he saw that, just like every other one he had passed, it was a swinging door, with no lock mechanism. A multi-stalled bathroom. There would be no privacy if someone walked in.

Easing the door open, the strange scent from earlier filled his nose again, carried by the draft of cool air from the air conditioner. Less of an actual _smell_ , and more of a _feeling_ in his nostrils and lungs. Sharp, stinging, like he was breathing freezing winter air into his chest, with a barely noticeable sweetness underneath.

He looked around the bathroom, seeing that the large handicapped stall was shut and locked. It was the only one occupied.

"Yuri," he whispered, approaching the door, and he heard a breath whoosh out of someone's lungs, as if they had been holding it, desperately trying to keep silent and hidden.

"I'm in here," a voice answered that seemed too thin and strangely hollow to be Yuri's. Yuuri tried the door, then glanced at the ceiling in mild annoyance.

"You'll have to unlock the door, I can't exactly crawl under it," he murmured. Clothing shuffled and the lock slid aside, and he pushed the door open, quickly slipping through and locking it back behind him.

Yuri was leaning one shoulder against the blue and peach mosaic tile wall, with his knees folded underneath him and his skates and jacket haphazardly discarded next to him on the floor. His chest was heaving, neck and forehead shiny with sweat, stray strands of blond sticking to his skin. Under the fluorescent lights, the unnaturally deep flush on his cheeks was even more stark.

"What's wrong," Yuuri asked gently, though he already had a fair guess.

Yuri swallowed hard. "I feel really weird." He lifted a slim hand to press the back of it against his scarlet cheek.

Carefully, Yuuri knelt down next to him with the help of the support rail on the wall, parting his knees around his belly. "Do you feel sick?"

"Maybe…a little." Yuri licked his dry lips, frowning. "Mostly really hot, and dizzy, and my heart's going crazy. I don't…" he rubbed his forehead, looking dazed. "What's going on? Am I…did I eat something bad? I've never felt like this before."

Yuuri took off his gloves and reached out slowly, and when Yuri didn't flinch away, he laid his bare hand on Yuri's forehead. His skin was hot, almost as if he had a fever.

"Is there anything else you're feeling?" Yuuri asked, still not a hundred percent sure his inkling was correct just yet. "Have you felt more hungry and thirsty than usual in the past few days? Maybe a little more emotional?"

Yuri blinked, thrown off for a second, then his brows slowly furrowed. "I…yeah, now that you mention it. Even right now, I'm starving, and really thirsty." Yuri looked down and shuffled, his face screwing into an expression of embarrassment. "And…there's a weird…cramping that's been going on for a while now…"

Yuuri hesitated. "Where?"

Yuri reached down and curled his fingers into his lower abdomen, his face pinching in pain. "Here…it hurts…"

 _Oh, no._ Yuuri's stomach sank with finality. "Like an aching? Throbbing?"

"Yeah, it's like…deep in there, too."

Sympathy welled in Yuuri's chest.

He eased down into a more comfortable sitting position and crossed his legs underneath his belly. "Yuri, I know this is…probably the last thing you would ever want to hear, but, I..." Yuuri winced at the sharp jab into his side from the baby. "It, um…sounds and feels to me like you may be starting a cycle."

Yuri's brows came together in confusion. "A cycle of what?"

Yuuri tried his damndest not to fidget. "Um…like a heat cycle. I think you're starting one."

The green eyes blinked. Grew wide. The color that didn't blotch Yuri's cheeks drained from his face in an expression of shock and disbelief.

"Katsudon," he wavered incredulously, "please tell me you're fucking joking."

Yuuri shook his head weakly, heat flooding his face. "I can sort of…smell it. On you."

Yuri's head fell back against the wall with a _thud_ , comprehension dawning on his slim face.

"I…" He stared, frozen, at the ceiling, then his gaze whipped to Yuuri in abject horror. "So that means I'm…like you? I'm a…a…" he trailed off with a shaking breath, as if he couldn't bring himself to say the word.

Yuuri nodded slowly. "It looks that way." His heart ached when Yuri's eyes flashed with panic, and he lowered his voice to a soothing murmur. "Hey, it's okay. Don't worry, I'm here with you."

Yuri looked down, uncharacteristic tears pooling in his eyes, though he didn't let them fall. He looked utterly distraught.

"I don't know what to do," he whispered.

Yuuri nervously cracked his knuckles. How long would the cycle be? It could be minutes, or hours, or it could be two days, maybe even longer. This wasn't something that could be predicted. Heats were vastly different for everyone.

He straightened his back against the wall, huffing and squeezing his eyes shut when the baby rolled inward toward his stomach. Like clockwork, since his heart was racing and he was slightly panicky, the movement was picking up, becoming restless.

"You okay?" He opened his eyes when Yuri spoke, seeing that he was being eyed with caution.

Yuuri nodded, sighing out a deep breath. "Baby's just flipping around like a fish, as usual."

Yuri's slender fingers twitched. "Can I…?"

Yuuri's heart softened. He nodded, and Yuri reached out to lay a trembling hand on Yuuri's protruding belly. As the baby wiggled and squirmed against his palm, some of the panic left his eyes, and the ghost of a smile flitted across his face.

"Strong little shit…" he let his hand fall away, letting out a weary, resigned sigh. "So how long will I be like this?"

Yuuri shook his head, feeling rather out of his element. "I wish I could tell you, but I don't know."

"You're an omega and you don't even know?" Yuri sighed sharply. "Some help you are."

Yuuri shrugged. "Well, I didn't have regular heats but a couple of times when I was younger, and they weren't really anything like this…and once I got older, I didn't really have heats at all. My doctor told me I was infertile for a long time."

Yuri cut him a sideways glance. "Aren't you a lucky son of a bitch."

Yuuri sniffed out a laugh. "I guess. Though, you see where that got me." He gave a pointed glance down at his protruding stomach. His phone pinged in his pocket, and when he pulled it out, an _everything okay?_ from Viktor lit up the screen

"Wait." Yuri's voice went flat with dread. "Does this mean I can get…?" His eyes darted down to Yuuri's belly.

"I mean…" Yuuri rubbed the back of his flaming neck. "There's no guarantee, everyone is different, but…probably. Most likely."

Yuri's petite nose scrunched. "…gross."

"Hey, now," Yuuri protested mildly, "I'm not gross, am I?"

"Oh, for the love of…" Yuri gave a dismissive wave of his hand. "You're you. Not gross. I guess I didn't mean to say it that way, exactly. It's just…" he wiped the sweat that had beaded on his forehead, his lip trembling, "a lot to take in. I had thought I was…I dunno. Not…gonna be anything. Or that I had more time left before I had to worry about it." His voice wobbled on the last few words, and it made Yuuri's throat tighten.

"I know how overwhelming it is…I'm so sorry." Yuuri worried his bottom lip between his teeth. "We need to get you back to the hotel so you can rest. I'll tell Viktor to…I don't know…tell the officials you're sick or something. You can't go to the podium like this, unless you want everyone to know you're in heat."

Yuri gave him a scandalized look. "No? There's no way I can go out there, they'll…" he gulped, his eyes large and terrified. "Wouldn't people…smell me?"

Yuuri winced. "They would." He briefly wondered if it was possible to burst into flames out of secondhand embarrassment.

"Fuck my life…" Yuri's hands curled into fists against his thighs. "I just can't catch a fucking _break_ these days." Angry tears welled in his eyes, and his shoulders slumped in defeat. "If this hadn't happened, I would have won. I'm sure of it."

Yuuri's chest ached for him. "I know…I'm sorry you've had it so rough lately."

A short silence stretched between them, then, so quietly that Yuuri almost didn't hear, Yuri murmured, "Well, at least I'm not alone."

Yuuri's heart warmed with affection, and he gently patted Yuri's knee.

He texted Viktor what to say, where they were, and added a sheepish request to find someone who might be carrying any sort of scent-masking spray. It was the only way he could think of to get Yuri out of the building unnoticed. With so many people gathered in one place, there had to be at least one other omega in the rink, right…?

Anyone else might have been embarrassed to do it, but since Viktor had apparently been born without an ounce of shame in his body, he agreed without hesitation to ask around among the people they knew.

Yuri had fallen silent, staring down at the tile beneath them. His breathing was much slower and calmer now, but he kept flexing his fingers and squirming, as if trying to shrug away from the unnatural warmth that flooded his body. Yuuri's heart squeezed with pity, and he resisted the urge to shelter the teen close to his side, knowing that it was just instincts talking and that it might make Yuri more uncomfortable. Better to give him space.

His phone pinged again.

_< <Found someone, Michele Crispino's sister. Will she do? I know Yuri doesn't know her very well…but she seems nice._

Yuuri tapped back.

_> >Perfect. I know her, and I think she's good friends with Mila. If she doesn't mind lending the spray, send her this way. Tell her what's happening beforehand, I feel like we can trust her._

_< <Gotcha. I'd come with her, but I'm stuck here with the press. :((_

_> >It's okay. Yuri would probably just snap your head off anyway._

_< <Very true. Hang in there._

"Yuri." Yuuri nudged him, and he lifted his glassy gaze. Poor kid, he looked miserable… "Sara Crispino is on her way. She has some scent-masking spray she can lend you."

Like his switch had been flipped back to normal settings, Yuri immediately scowled. "Her? I don't—" he snapped his mouth shut, seeming to inwardly fight with himself, then sighed in frustration, jamming the heels of his hands into his eyes. "Fine. Beggars can't be choosers. But she'd _better_ not blab to anyone, or I'll make her regret it."

Yuuri tactfully stifled his laughter. "I really don't think she would. Especially not since she's an omega, too."

Yuri didn't respond.

The door creaked open, and they both froze. Hesitant footsteps padded to the stall door, and Sara's familiar, accented voice sounded from beyond it.

"Yuuri? Are you in here…?"

They both relaxed, letting their breath out. Yuuri grabbed the support rail and struggled to his feet, and his insides jumped in surprise at the stab of pain in between his shoulders. It must have shown on his face, because Yuri grunted in disapproval.

"Shoulda let me get up," he groused, "you're gonna hurt yourself."

Yuuri snorted. There was that odd, out of character concern again. It had probably been due to Yuri's fluctuating hormones the whole time. "I'm not quite that fragile, but thanks for worrying. I'm touched," he said teasingly, rubbing the sore spot in his back. He ignored Yuri's indignant, sputtering protests and unlocked the door, and Sara fluidly slipped through.

"At least this bathroom is nice and clean..." Her gaze fell to Yuuri's belly, and her violet eyes illuminated with delight. "Oh, my goodness," she gushed, clasping her hands over her heart and jingling the silver bracelets on her wrists, "baby's grown so _much_ —!"

Yuri snapped his fingers with a dark frown up at her. "Oi, focus, woman. Scent spray now, baby talk later. I'm losing my will to live down here."

She gave him a withering glance, then dug in the small, mauve, satchel-styled purse that hung around her petite frame. "Pleasant," she muttered.

"Least you could do is be polite." Yuuri raised a brow down at Yuri. "She's helping you out, you know."

"Well, excuse me for not being terribly amicable," Yuri replied brightly, giving a saccharine, plastic smile, "it's not every day one finds out that one's lot in life could be to end up as some alpha's fuck toy."

Yuuri rolled his eyes behind his closed lids. "You're about fifty years behind the times, Yura."

_"Still."_

"Besides, don't you have that frie—aah." Sara hastily caught herself, but Yuri got the implication and bristled like a mad cat. The scent of his anger scraped at the inside of Yuuri's nose, needle-sharp and intimidating.

"How about you shut your fucking _mouth_ , you cu—"

"Yuri!" Yuuri barked over him, leveling him a scathing glare, and Yuri shrank back and his shoulders squared defensively.

"Fine, fine, _sorry_ , I'm just—" He glanced up at Sara, who was studying him with a perceptive gaze, then looked back down again, his face flushing even more. "Sorry," he mumbled at the tile flooring. "I…didn't mean it."

Her face softened. "Forget it. I shouldn't have been tactless. Here." She handed him a small perfume bottle full of clear liquid, which he took between two fingers like it was dirty somehow. "It doesn't have a scent, if that's what you're worried about, but it will neutralize the smell of your heat. Apply it here," She tapped the sides of her neck, "and on your wrists, and you should be good for at least a couple of hours. Enough time to get back to your hotel without people noticing the smell, for sure."

Yuri fidgeted. "Well…thanks." He said the word like it physically pained him.

She smiled, undeterred by the grumpiness. "Don't mention it. We have to stick together, yes? I know how scary my first heat was, so I'm glad I could help." She pursed her lips. "Though your body certainly picked one of the worst times and places it could."

"Tell me about it," Yuri scoffed. He spritzed the odorless liquid on his neck and pushed his sleeves up to his elbows to do the same to his wrists. When he finished, he capped the bottle and offered it back.

Sara waved him off. "Keep it. I have an extra bottle at home."

Yuri's brows lifted, and for a second, he almost smiled. "Thank you," he mumbled, sounding a lot more sincere than the first time.

"Of course. Any friend of Yuuri's is a friend of mine." She glanced at the sparkling watch on her slim wrist. "I have to get back to the arena. If he can't find me, my brother will worry." She looked at Yuri sadly. "Hate that you missed being on the podium…"

Yuri's shoulder lifted in a resigned shrug. "Not much I could have done." The sharp, obtrusive scent of his heat was already beginning to fade away.

"You'll make the next one," Yuuri assured him with a pat on the knee. Yuri didn't look optimistic, but he nodded anyway.

With a sympathetic goodbye and a gentle pat to Yuuri's belly, Sara left, and they were alone again.

Yuri heaved a loud sigh, fanning his gauzy top with one hand and pulling his phone out of his jacket pocket with the other. "I guess I should tell the old crone where I am, or she'll think I'm playing hooky. Not that I care." His fingers tapped rapidly.

Yuuri blinked in confusion at the sudden wave of uneasiness that twisted down through his torso. "I think she'll be understanding if you just tell her the truth." He rubbed his temple distractedly, feeling strangely disoriented.

"Mm, yeah, like I could lie to her even if I wanted to. She's way too slick for that, she'd see right through me. The woman is a goddamn clairvoyant. Probably an ancient witch, to be honest."

The rest of the words Yuri was muttering faded to the back of Yuuri's mind; the awful, tingly sense of foreboding that always preceded a bad contraction was rising in his belly, and it sent icy fear cascading through his veins.

 _Oh, please, not here_ , he pleaded inwardly, leaning back against the wall and hastily glancing at his phone before dropping it in his pocket. _Need to time it…how long if it's…? What if this is…_ Blood thumped quicker and quicker in his ears as his thoughts jumbled into a mess.

After a lightning fast internal debate, he decided that being honest was the best course of action.

"Yuri," he said urgently, and Yuri's head snapped up at his tone, his eyebrows high in alarm. "I'm about to have a false contraction, and it's going to hurt. I need you to…to know that it's normal, okay?" It was already stealing his breath, making it harder to talk. He grabbed the support rail. He needed to get to the floor as soon as possible.

Yuri's lips parted and his eyes grew large, but he gave a couple of quick, jerky nods. "O-okay. Can I…I don't know, help? Like at all?"

Oh, God, that slow, searing tightness clamping around his belly never got any easier to cope with. The breath in Yuuri's lungs quickly grew shallow, and for a heart-pounding few moments, he was immobilized by the invisible fist squeezing him around the waist. He tried to focus on one particular spot on the wall, unable to form a complete sentence in his mind to answer Yuri. It was _scary_ , not being able to draw in a full breath.

"Katsudon…?" Yuri's voice was high with fear, and it seemed to echo from somewhere far away.

Once he acclimated to the feeling enough to unlock his limbs, Yuuri managed to slide his back down the wall to sit on the floor, and he shut his eyes tightly, letting his head fall back against the wall and gasping out a strained breath from deep in his chest. It felt like his womb had suddenly been replaced with a bowling ball, solid and heavy and pressing firmly on all of the organs around it.

"Do I need to get Viktor? Is this…" Yuri's voice cut off, and through the haze of pain, Yuuri felt a hand lightly touch his knee. "Is the baby coming? Should I call an ambulance?"

"No," Yuuri finally grated out, his voice tight. He felt the prickle of sweat on his brow and neck, so he tugged his scarf off and shrugged out of his coat, his fingers shaking like leaves as he pushed the sleeves of his sweater up to his elbows. Contractions always made him unnaturally hot, as if he had been physically straining himself. Though, in a way, he supposed he was. "Not real labor." He couldn't get more than a few short words out at a time, thanks to the rigidity of his muscles. He squeezed his eyes shut and wrapped his arms around his belly, breathing shallowly and trying not to whimper.

"I…are you sure? You look like shit."

Despite the discomfort, Yuuri almost smiled. Tactful as always.

Any urge to smile disappeared without a trace as the metaphorical vice inside him suddenly yanked even tighter. His stomach gave a nauseating lurch and an ominous noise, and he quickly clapped a hand over his mouth, sucking in a sharp breath through his nose.

"Hey!" Yuri emitted a panicked squawk. "No! Are you—don't you dare! If you throw up on this floor, I swear to fucking God—!"

Looking back on it later, Yuuri would never know how he did it, but Yuri managed to half-help, half-drag him to the toilet, hastily scrambling to raise the lid for him. He hunched over the porcelain bowl and gripped the edge, mouth watering and panting rapidly, tasting sour acid in the back of his throat.

After a few seconds of being positive he was about to vomit, the feeling slowly drained away, and even though his uterus was still hard as a rock, his eyes flooded with tears of relief. His shoulders went limp and his hands fell from their iron grip on the toilet bowl to cradle his belly, and he swallowed and breathed a silent prayer of thanks. He hated throwing up more than just about anything.

"What was that all about?" Yuri demanded a bit too loudly, "isn't morning sickness just supposed to be in the first few months?"

Yuuri barely restrained what would have been a very sardonic laugh. "I wish," he whispered breathlessly, gripping his knees. Now that he wasn't distracted by nausea, he realized that it didn't feel like the contraction had even _peaked_ yet, and that sent a shiver of dread up his spine. Great, it was a long one…

He settled into the sitting position he usually took to ease the pain; on his knees, leaned over as far as his belly would allow, braced on his hands, and rocking slightly back and forth to distract himself. Through the loud thudding of his pulse in his ears, he managed to find a breathing pattern and latch onto it for dear life, hoping it would take some of the pain away.

He felt Yuri's hand rest between his shoulder blades, and that wordless comfort brought more stupid tears to his eyes.

The world fell away amidst the pain and measured breathing, and suddenly, all he could focus on was the alarmingly heavy pressure between his legs.

 _What._ His heart suddenly crashed against his ribs.

 _Pressure…but that means_ …

A shudder of fear gripped him, but he immediately stifled it, forcing himself to use reason. There was no possible way he could go into labor right now. His cervix was still firmly stitched up, and at the doctor a few days ago, it hadn't even shown any signs of trying to efface yet.

The baby was just especially low lately. That was probably just the head he was feeling in his pelvis.

 _In and out, Yuuri, try to keep calm_ … Viktor's voice echoed in his head, soft and encouraging.

As the contraction gradually loosened its grip on his uterus, he didn't let up on his breathing. He continued the slow, even rhythm until he was sure he could breathe normally again, resting his temple on the cold tile wall.

When he opened his eyes, Yuri snapped to attention. "Is it gone?"

With a shaking sigh, Yuuri nodded, pressing one hand on his upper belly and reaching downward with the other to feel for the baby. "That was one of the longest I've had yet, I think…" As expected, the baby's head was deep in his lower belly, digging down into his pelvis. The baby had the nerve to give him a smart upward kick against the palm, and he aimed a half-hearted glare down at his stomach. He wiped his forehead and checked his watch; it hadn't been nearly as long as it had felt. Only about three minutes.

Yuri gave him a wary look, then held up his phone. "Our respective guard dogs are on their way. I didn't tell dumbass about the contraction. Figured he'd just crash in here and make a spectacle of himself."

Yuuri laughed weakly, running a hand through his hair to keep it from sticking to his forehead. "You would have probably been right. I'll tell him what happened, though. I don't want to keep it from him."

"Hmm." Yuri abruptly stood, offering Yuuri his hand. "Think you can stand?"

"Probably, if you help me…"

With both the support rail and Yuri's help, Yuuri managed to struggle to his feet, though his knees felt like liquid. Yuri kept a snarky running commentary the entire time, likely to attempt to mask his concern.

"Are you gonna fall? You better not fall. Hold onto that rail, you're heavy."

YuurI managed a tight huff. "Wow, thanks for calling me fat."

"Oh, zip it," Yuri snapped, "You're like a hundred months pregnant, genius, of course you're fucking heavy." Yuuri couldn't help but laugh at that, but immediately stopped and winced when his abused stomach muscles protested.

They heard door to the bathroom swing open, followed by a short, curt call of "Yura?"

Yuri's eyes rolled toward the ceiling, but he picked up his jacket and skates from the floor and unlocked the door, revealing Lilia and Viktor, looking worried. Lilia was carrying Yuri's duffel bag, and her face lost a few of the sharp edges at the sight of Yuri, still flushed and trembling slightly.

Viktor stepped forward immediately, brows raised, touching Yuuri's arm. "You okay, love? You look like you don't feel well."

Yuuri gave a thin smile. "Yeah, I'm…really tired. Had a pretty bad contraction a couple of minutes ago." His legs were still trembling from it, and he was still vaguely nauseous.

Viktor's brow creased. He slipped a supportive arm around Yuuri, who gratefully leaned into him, and Lilia gave him a gentle pat on the back on her way by.

"We should get you back to the hotel," she told Yuri in a much softer tone than normal, "You look like you're ready to drop. First, though…" she pulled the silver metal out of her coat pocket and draped it around Yuri's neck with elegant flourish. "You earned this." She gazed at Yuri with fondness coloring her stern features, cupping his cheek and giving it a firm pat. "Never in all my years have I seen someone complete a program that beautifully while experiencing a heat. Much less their first one. Well done, child."

Yuri's face reddened with more than just hormonal changes. "Thanks, Madame," he mumbled, tucking a stray chunk of hair that had escaped the braiding behind his ear.

"How do you fare?" Lilia felt of his forehead, her angular brows pinching together. "You're burning up. Do you feel sick? Faint? I have your water bottle in your bag, I know you must be terribly thirsty."

Yuri brushed her hand away, his nose wrinkling. "You don't have to fuss. I'm not dying or anything." He still accepted the water bottle she handed him and eagerly drank from it.

"I should say you aren't," Viktor commented, admiration sparkling in his eyes, "even with that hindrance, your program was amazing."

"Thanks." Yuri lifted the medal off of his chest and gazed at it, gently running his thumb over the etching in the metal, and Yuuri would never forget the tiny, broken smile that settled on his lips. "When I started feeling all wacky on the rink, I knew that I wouldn't win gold," he sighed, looking at Viktor, "but nearly beating you was almost good enough." His eyes narrowed to slits. "Almost."

"You gave me a run for my money." Viktor clapped a hand on Yuri's shoulder, his face serious. "I have complete faith that if you try your best, you'll be in the center of the podium for the Grand Prix Final." A competitive smirk pulled at one corner of his mouth. "But frankly, and I mean this in the most loving way possible, I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that doesn't happen."

Yuri's eyes lit with a burning passion. "I'd like to see you try, old man," he growled, but jammed his hand out in the space between them, and Viktor gave it a firm shake. Yuuri could almost see the lightning zapping between their eyes.

"Good luck to the both of us, then." Viktor turned to Yuuri, and his eyes immediately softened with concern again, the cool tone of the fluorescent light above tinting his blue irises a minty green. "I'm sorry I wasn't here for you," he murmured, hugging him again and kissing his forehead. "How long was it?"

"About three and a half minutes, give or take." Yuuri pillowed his cheek on Viktor's shoulder, suddenly feeling infinitely more weary. Oh, for a hot shower and a warm bed.

"Awfully long," Viktor noted with unease.

"He nearly threw up on the floor in the middle of it," Yuri spoke up accusingly from his place at the sink, where he was patting his sweaty face and neck with a wet paper towel and Lilia was helping him take down his intricate hairstyle. "I had to drag his ass to the toilet." Though he was staring down at the sink, Yuuri could see part of his face in the mirror, and it was plastered with naked, almost angry worry. Yuri likely didn't realize Yuuri could see him; his expression wasn't often so unguarded. It had probably scared him to see Yuuri in so much pain.

Yuuri felt Viktor's inquisitive eyes on him again and ducked his head. "Sorry to worry you, I…that's never really happened before, in the middle of a contraction like that." He made a mental note to ask the doctor about it.

The worried furrow between Yuri's brows faded slightly. "Not your fault. It's the little shit's fault."

"Excuse you, it's little _bean_ ," Viktor said loftily, and at the same time, Lilia sharply reprimanded Yuri for his crude language.

Once Yuri was in plain clothes, Lilia went ahead of them and scoped out which hallway they should take to avoid the paparazzi. Though Yuri's scent wasn't nearly as strong as it had been, if a keen-eyed person looked hard enough, they might notice he was in heat, and Yuuri knew that Yuri would rather die than have people find out.

Out in the hallway, as they were walking to the nearest exit, Yuuri fell into step beside Yuri.

"Hey," he said softly, and Yuri lifted his eyes from the floor. He made it as quick as he could, since he knew Yuri probably didn't feel like talking. "Madame Baranovskaya was right. You did an amazing job. Not many people would have gotten such a high score under those circumstances." He slipped an arm around Yuuri's lean waist and gave him a gentle squeeze, still a bit thrown off by how tall he was now. "I'm so proud of you, Yura."

Yuri's eyes brightened, if only a little, and he looked down, blushing and tucking his hair behind his ear again. His hair hung free now, far past his collarbones, and it suited him well.

"Thanks." When they separated, Yuri patted Yuuri's baby bump after only a second of hesitation. "Take care of the little shit."

Yuuri chuckled. "Will do."

"Little _bean_ ," Viktor harrumphed dramatically in front of them, and even Yuri laughed.

Yuri started to follow Lilia out the door she held open for him, but stopped a few steps away, turning halfway around.

"Hey. If, uh…" Yuri tapped his heel, looking off to the side. "If anything…happens. You know, with the…" he gestured to Yuuri's belly, clearing his throat. "Let me know?" It came out as a question.

Viktor draped an arm around Yuuri's shoulders. "Of course we will. You'll be the very first."

"…promise?"

A band of familial love wrapped around Yuuri's heart.

"Promise," he affirmed with a smile.

Yuri nodded once, pursing his lips, then left to follow Lilia with a backwards "see ya."

They watched the door slowly close after them, and it occurred to Yuuri that they probably looked like a couple of proud parents.

"He's growing up," Viktor murmured, and Yuuri nodded against his shoulder.

"Makes me a little sad…"

After a few beats of silence, Viktor's voice warmed Yuuri's ear. "Let's get back to the hotel. I'm exhausted, and I know you're not doing much better after that contraction." He pressed a sweet kiss to Yuuri's temple. "I've already told everyone to go on without us; they were going to eat somewhere, but I'm just too worn out to socialize right now."

Yuuri nodded tiredly, slipping his arm through Viktor's offered one. "I could definitely go for some quiet snuggling right now."

"Under the nice, warm, fluffy blanket," Viktor mused as they strolled off.

Yuuri rubbed his cheek on the solid muscle of Viktor's shoulder and gave a dreamy sigh. "Wearing those really soft, cushy socks that we found last time we went shopping."

"And our _pajamas_. Ahh, I can't wait to get this dance belt off and take a shower…"

The comfy banter continued all the way back to the hotel, but it didn't quite distract Yuuri from how much Viktor was limping.

-

 **phichit-chu**  
[](http://i.imgur.com/AHBlfyC)

♡863,294 likes  
little mama giving dad a pre-freeskate pep talk ♡ congrats to @v-nikiforov and @yuri-plisetsky for nabbing gold and silver, respectively!! #gpf #nhktrophy #coughcoughiwonbronze #improudokay #butlookatthem #icry #preciousfamily #thatbelly #hearteyes #victorybaby

  
**v-nikiforov** *smashes the save button at the speed of light*  
48,254 likes

 **christophe-gc** i laughed for a solid 2 minutes at that, fuck  
     16,792 likes

 **katsuki-y** congrats again on your medal, peach ^-^  
29,471 likes

 **phichit-chu** thank youuuu ♡  
     18,365 likes

 **CherryBlossomPanic** we are b l e s s e d praise phichit for snagging this adorable moment ♡♡♡♡ #victorybaby  
4,072 likes

 **the-road-goes-ever-on** aawwwwwh, look at viktor, he's listening very intently ♡ #victorybaby #theyresocute  
4,197 likes

 **ahegaolove29** precioouussss  <333 #victorybaby  
2,922 likes

 **0Gate-of-Zero0** the way they look at each other melts me, omg #victorybaby  
900 likes

 **XPLR13** should viktor be squishing yuuris tummy like that :/  
34 likes

 **00Ophelia00** I swear to fuck, yall act like Viktor is a bull in a china shop or some shit. He's an adult, and Yuuri is too, so stop with this bullshit acting like Yuuri is a breakable doll, it's infantilizing and gross. There's no way that tiny amount of pressure would do any harm. I'm sure Viktor knows how careful he has to be by now. He wouldn't hurt his own baby. #stopgraspingatstraws  
     8,271 likes

 **megumin-best-girl** two time mom here, pregnant bellies are very squishy and more durable than you'd think! Viktor was most likely doing that to feel the baby move, my husband would do the same thing when he hugged me. So no worries, it doesn't hurt the baby at all  <3  
           7,408 likes

                >>See 29 more comments

 **+guanghongji+** this is such a good pic, you two are an awesome couple :) #victorybaby #cantwaittomeetthem #theyrealreadyinstagramfamous  
2,190 likes

 **silverthehorgeherg** gosh, his belly is so big...he carries it well! #victorybaby  
835 likes

 **Area99** Yuuri has such beautiful hair ;_; #victorybaby #theirbabywillbesoadorable  
1,422 likes

 **g-popo** aah…the look between you two is the purest love I've ever seen. I'm so glad you found each other, and I can't wait to meet your precious baby. #victorybaby  
937 likes

 **katsuki-y** thank you, georgi :)  
     903 likes

 **YandereChan** i'm gonna miss seeing these cute bump pics on my feed once yuuri has the baby, but at the same time, i can't wait to see the baby, you know they're going to be so cute and sweet :') #victorybaby  
702 likes

>See 164 more comments

-

It felt _so good_ to finally relax.

Viktor lay sprawled on his stomach on the hotel bed, right foot up in the air and the other leg resting on the soft, white duvet. He propped his chin on his hand as he scrolled through the assortment of adorable baby clothes on his laptop screen, occasionally shaking his head in wonder and smiling. How did people come up with such impossibly cute things?

The smile faded slightly as the ache in his knee returned to the forefront of his mind, undeterred by his attempts to push it away.

He had no idea how the hell he had managed to win gold. Every time he had landed a jump, he had clamped down on the inside of his cheek to keep from shouting in pain. It was nothing short of a miracle that he had made it through with no falls. After his performance, he had been weak and shaky, and in so much pain that, in front of the cameras, he kept having to bite his lip to school his expression away from anything that betrayed how he felt. His knee had felt like an electrical circuit, throbbing in time with his heartbeat, and it kept catching as he walked.

Yakov, perceptive as he was, had realized just how badly Viktor was hurting, seeing through the thin veil of control he tried so hard to maintain. In that stern-but-gentle way of his, he had ordered Viktor to rest as much as he could until the Grand Prix Final, limiting his practice days to two a week and spreading them out to give his knee time to recover.

He just hoped it _did_.

As they had grabbed a quick dinner in the hotel lobby, Yuuri's hand kept straying to his own back, rubbing in vain, and Viktor could tell he was in a fair amount of pain by the thin, breathy tone of his voice and the way he was wincing as he moved. Viktor knew he should speak up about his knee, but he hated to give Yuuri more to be worried about; he knew it made Yuuri anxious when his knee acted up, and poor Yuuri was already so, so tired.

 _Remember your promise_ , something in the back of Viktor's mind had whispered in reproach. Once they had gotten up to the room, after an inward argument that took entirely longer than it should have, he hesitantly mentioned to Yuuri that he may have to break out the ice pack.

Yuuri had, of course, immediately ushered him into the bath first, so he could hurry up and finish and get comfortable sooner. It had made Viktor feel guilty for saying anything, but Yuuri had been glad he did.

 _"Besides, it's fine if you go first. I need the heating pad on my back before I can even think about getting in the bathtub,"_ he had said firmly, so Viktor had obeyed.

After the short, relaxing bath, he was glad he had. It felt nice to be clean and warm, and the soothing cold of the pack strapped around his knee was finally beginning to numb the pain.

"…hopefully you'll like what I picked out. My knowledge of babies is virtually nil, but mon cher has a lovely niece he practically raised, so he helped me choose." Down in the little Skype window in the corner of the laptop screen, Christophe's eyes softened when he mentioned his lover, and it made Viktor smile.

"I'm sure it will be great, whatever it is, but you didn't have to get anything. We have more baby clothes than we know what to do with, thanks to Yuuri's parents." Viktor had been over the moon when Hiroko suggested they use Mari's and Yuuri's old baby clothes. It was such a sweet gesture, and imagining their tiny baby wearing something Yuuri or Mari would've worn when they were infants made his heart decidedly giddy.

Chris waved his hand airily. "It's something you can use, so don't worry about that." His fluffy white cat stepped into view and rubbed her forehead on his chin, and he gave her a kiss and scratched her behind the ears. "Still thinking that particular day?"

"Mhm." Not wanting to say more, since the walls were thin and Yuuri was relaxing in the bath, Viktor changed the subject, though he still kept his voice low. "You should see him, Chris. He's so big. He has to turn completely sideways to hug me now, it's precious."

"I'm well aware of how adorable your other half is. And how large. That picture Phichit posted had me swooning." Chris sniffed out a laugh and shook his head. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say there's more than one baby in there."

"Don't let Yuuri hear you say that," Viktor whispered loudly, and almost at the same time, there was a muffled, tinny _"I heard that!"_ from the other side of the bathroom door.

"You're a vision regardless, my dear," Chris said loudly, and Yuuri answered with a snort.

"Anyway," Viktor laughed, shooting Chris a playful, stern glance, "he can't help it if he's big. His bone structure in his waist is naturally short, and, well…" his smile faded slightly, and he lowered his voice again, "the doctor told us—or, well, they told Yuuri, and he translated for me—that he's carrying a little more amniotic fluid than he should be. His belly measured a couple of weeks ahead of schedule at the last visit."

"Hmm." Chris' dark brows came together. "Is that a cause for concern?"

Viktor blew a puff of air up at his bangs to get them out of the way. "It was, for a few minutes. Scared us to death, but they did an anatomy scan and a nonstress test on the baby, and everything was perfectly normal. They checked Yuuri out, too, and couldn't find anything wrong with him, either…no gestational diabetes, no infection, nothing. Apparently, sometimes it just happens for no discernable reason." Viktor shifted to get more comfortable, drawing in a sharp breath through his nose when his knee twinged. "They said not to worry unless Yuuri gets _way_ bigger, which they really don't think is likely to happen, but they're still watching him like hawks. He gets weekly ultrasounds now."

"Keep me posted, I worry."

"Of course."

Chris gave a long sigh, one side of his lips quirking. "I'd like very much to be near, if I possibly can, when baby Nikiforov makes their appearance at long last." His eyes twinkled. "You've got the entire skating world on the edge of their seats, you know. Everyone is eager to meet the victory baby."

"Believe me, we are, too." Yuuri's voice caught Viktor's attention, and he glanced at Yuuri over his shoulder as he emerged from the bathroom and padded to the bed, looking snuggly and warm in his cushy robe. He was panting slightly, as usual, and he was holding the underside of his round stomach, likely to take some of the burden off of his back.

"You should have let me help you out of the tub," Viktor reminded with a frown, reaching out for Yuuri's hand as he approached and giving it a squeeze when they met.

Yuuri shuffled. "I didn't want to interrupt your conversation."

Pursing his lips, Viktor fixed Yuuri with a hard stare.

"There's a support rail by the tub, so I managed, and I was super careful. It wasn't too hard," Yuuri said defensively.

Viktor opened his mouth, but Chris tactfully interrupted them before an argument could escalate, cooing and leaning closer to his screen. "Look at that full tummy, oh my. Little bean isn't so little anymore."

A tired smile lifted Yuuri's lips. "You're telling me." He turned to the side for Chris' benefit and untied his robe, letting it fall open and sliding the shirt he was wearing up and over his swollen belly. "Ta-da."

Chris' eyes widened. "Good lord. I imagine that's hell on your poor back."

"It is," Yuuri let the words out in a rush of breath, pulling his shirt back down and retying his robe. He cradled his belly in his arms, smiling down at it ruefully. "But, thankfully, I don't have to be this big for too much longer. I'm getting tired of wobbling everywhere."

"Ohh, I bet you are, darling," Chris murmured sympathetically.

Viktor patted the side of Yuuri's stomach. "Has his own gravity and everything."

"Watch it, Nikiforov." Yuuri gave Viktor's damp hair a ruffle, and he gasped and fell to the side, clutching his heart.

"You messed up my famous hair! I am _so offended—"_

Yuuri rolled his eyes. "See what I have to deal with?" He directed at Chris, and they both chuckled.

"I'll let you kids go, I know you're both exhausted."

They said their goodbyes and ended the call, and Viktor slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position, groaning as he did.

"I don't remember ever being this tired after a competition." Every muscle in his body ached, and his knee still felt horrible. "Guess I really am an old man, like Yura tells me."

"You've been stressed, honey," Yuuri said, sinking down onto the bed and rubbing Viktor's back, "stress and worry can make you more tired than normal."

Viktor sighed down at the bedding. "You still should have let me help you out of the tub."

Yuuri hummed out a slightly irritated noise. "Mm, not going to forget that, are we?"

 _Keep calm,_ Viktor's mind softly nudged him, _don't fight._

"Yuuri," he said gently, "what if you had slipped and fallen?"

After a moment of silence, Yuuri sighed, running his fingers through Viktor's hair. "I know, and I'm sorry for being catty. It's just, well…I don't like being this fragile. I'm still not used to it, I guess. But…you're right." His hand lifted to his belly. "For little bean's sake, I should be more careful. I'll ask for help from now on, I promise." He leaned to press a kiss to Viktor's cheek.

A relieved smile pulled at Viktor's lips. "Good. Now, if I'm exhausted, I can't imagine how worn out you must be." He stood to his feet with a grunt, rubbing the back of his neck, and Yuuri started to get up to follow him. "Stay there. I have an idea." He limped to the bathroom, not even bothering to disguise the hissing breaths of pain when he stepped with his left leg. Pain throbbed up through his thigh every time his foot met the floor.

"I think you should take your medicine," Yuuri fretted from behind him, "I don't like how much pain you're in."

"I probably should, I just…" Viktor spotted Yuuri's comb and plucked it from the countertop, "…really don't like taking it."

"Why not, if it makes you feel better…?"

Limping back to grab his water bottle and pill container from the nightstand, Viktor reluctantly snapped the cap off and poured two pills into his hand, tossing them down and chasing them with water.

"Viktor…?"

As he stared down at the wood grain of the nightstand, a memory floated across his mind. Sitting in a doctor's office years ago, hearing the same words he himself spoke now, though in the past, they were directed at someone else entirely.

"It's an opiate. Highly addictive." He tried to keep his voice light, hoping he succeeded.

He felt uneasiness radiating from behind him. When he turned back to Yuuri, his expression held a caution that hadn't been there before. "Is it…legal?"

Viktor wearily sighed through his nose. "It is."

_Though it probably shouldn't be._

Yuuri's forehead creased between his brows and he blinked those pretty eyes, but he didn't question Viktor further.

It was like he had a sixth sense sometimes.

Viktor wiggled the comb and raised his eyebrows in silent question, and Yuuri's face relaxed into the softest, sweetest smile Viktor had ever seen.

Viktor sat on the edge of the bed, and with a little maneuvering, they got Yuuri into a comfortable position sitting on the floor, propped up on the bed between Viktor's legs with a pillow cushioning his lower back.

As Viktor began running the comb through Yuuri's damp, clean hair, chasing the comb with his fingers, he could feel Yuuri slowly relaxing back against the bed, breathing out a slow, contented sigh from the back of his throat that made something deep in Viktor's chest curl up in warm, quiet satisfaction.

It had been so long since they had done this. It had become somewhat of a ritual after Yuuri's performances of the previous skating season; he would be so wound up with leftover anxiety after skating, jittery and restless, with no outlet for the nervous energy. Sitting down like this with Viktor tenderly combing his hair helped ground him and calm him down, so his tense muscles could finally relax.

Viktor adored the intimacy. The easy silence, the feeling of Yuuri's silk-soft hair slipping between his fingers. It was a massive display of trust, as well: Yuuri didn't normally like people touching his hair at all, so it made Viktor feel very special and close to him. It helped that Yuuri had the softest, most beautiful hair Viktor had ever seen or felt in his life.

Again, he was probably biased, but still.

For several minutes, they were quiet. Simply enjoying each other's presence, bathed in the hazy remnants of sunset from the window. The sun's rays sometimes felt almost cold at this time of year, with that heavy, lonely feeling of winter looming just on the horizon. It always made Viktor feel…soft. Reflective.

Yuuri was all but purring, leaning his head back into Viktor's hands, his eyes closed in bliss, gently cradling his belly. The tightness was gone from his shoulders, and his breathing was much more even and less labored; poor thing, he sometimes found it hard to find his breath these days… He leaned on Viktor's leg, the right, not the left, and the considerate gesture warmed Viktor's heart.

When Yuuri finally broke the comfortable silence minutes later, his voice was soft and timid, barely a breath. "Viktor?"

"Mm?"

Yuuri inhaled slowly, and Viktor could tell he was hesitating. "I…um…"

Viktor waited patiently, sifting his fingers through Yuuri's hair and watching the dark strands fall back into place.

When Yuuri didn't continue, Viktor leaned down to drop a kiss on the little swirling crown of his hair, breathing in the floral scent of his shampoo. "You can talk to me about anything, you know." He didn't exactly like pushing Yuuri, but sometimes he needed a gentle nudge to give him courage.

Yuuri's words came out in a rush. "When we get married, I…I want to take your surname."

 _Oh_.

"Oh, Yuuri," he whispered. His heart turned a somersault in his chest, welling with warmth and love.

"W-would you be okay with that?"

Ahh, that nervous little trip in Yuuri's voice was so _cute_. Viktor brushed Yuuri's hair off of his ear on a hunch, and sure enough, it was beet red. He smiled secretly.

"That would be a serious honor, the famous Katsuki Yuuri giving up his surname for mine."

Yuuri fidgeted. "I'm being serious," he murmured in protest, and Viktor immediately dropped the teasing tone.

"Are you sure you want to have my last name for the rest of your life?" He asked quietly, and Yuuri craned his neck to look back at Viktor. His cheeks were deep pink, but there was a shy, beautiful light in his eyes. Hesitant still, but blooming with love.

"Yeah…I've thought about it a lot…I dreamed about it, when it was little." Yuuri winced, abruptly turned around, and buried his face in his hands. "But it…it's so _cliché_ , it embarrasses the crap out of me. I probably still have notebooks of schoolwork with 'Yuuri Nikiforov' written in random places…"

Viktor's heart soared, and he did his best not to squeal as loudly on the outside as he was on the inside.

"I can't believe after all this time you still manage to be this cute." He loosely wrapped his arms around Yuuri's shoulders and snuggled his nose into the soft hair on top of his head. "Don't be embarrassed, baby, I couldn't be more flattered." He felt warm hands close around his wrists and lips press against his forearm.

"Are you alright with it? I know you had mentioned something about hyphenating both names a while ago…"

Viktor shook his head. "Think about how long the baby names would be if we did that, though."

Yuuri hummed thoughtfully. "Chiharu Fyodor Katsuki-Nikiforov or Miuna Aleksandra Katsuki-Nikiforova. Yeesh, and I thought they were mouthfuls before…" Yuuri's shoulders shook with laughter. "I was talking about hyphenating the names for you and me, though. You don't still want to do that?" Yuuri tipped his head back to rest on the bed, blinking up at Viktor with those big brown doe eyes.

"I want what _you_ want." Viktor leaned over enough to give him an upside-down kiss on the lips, and Yuuri's eyes crinkled at the corners.

"So you don't mind not having my surname? Are you sure?"

"I would be honored, love, but if it's not what you want, I don't mind."

"Hmm…" Yuuri absently caressed his belly. "I'm not sure now. Katsuki-Nikiforov sounds so nice, but would give the announcers at any competition hell. They'd probably trip up on it."

"Good." Viktor smirked, and Yuuri gave a humming giggle. His laughter had to be one of Viktor's favorite sounds in the world. "As amusing as that would be, I think you may be right. Not that I don't want your surname, of course, but it may make things easier. And I like the thought of all three of us matching."

Yuuri nodded. "All three of us." He took a deep breath and let it out in an incredulous laugh. He raised his head and looked down at his stomach, resting his hand on it. "All three…"

That strange, protective _something_ in Viktor's chest preened happily again at the thought. He kissed Yuuri's temple, then rested his chin on top of his head. "I can't wait to meet them," he murmured.

"Me neither," Yuuri said softly. "And I can't wait to see the look on Yurio's face when he gets to hold them for the first time. He's so in love, Viktor, you should have seen him feeling the baby move earlier. It was so sweet how his face lit up." He perked up. "Oh, I should text him and see how he is. Will you hand me my phone, please?"

Viktor complied, but the phone barely brushed Yuuri's fingers before slipping and landing on the carpet with a muted thud. Viktor made a frustrated noise.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you had it." He reached to pick it up and hand it to Yuuri again, but Yuuri didn't lift his hand from where it was plastered on his round side. Viktor blinked in confusion after a few seconds of no response.

"Yuuri?"

Yuuri's other arm wrapped around Viktor's calf with startling strength, his back rising and falling rapidly with his breath, and with a startled skip of his heartbeat, Viktor realized he was having another contraction.

As always, Viktor's mind sped up into a frenzied trainwreck. _Is this it? Is this time different? We're four hours away from Hasetsu, what if…_

He stifled the panic, determined to stay calm. He had to be the strong one right now, for Yuuri's sake.

He glanced at the clock on Yuuri's phone, then set it down and gently stroked Yuuri's shoulder. "How bad," he asked quietly, and Yuuri took a few deep, heaving breaths before he could answer.

"Not…as bad as earlier, by a long shot," he grunted, fingers digging into Viktor's leg, "when they come out of nowhere like that, they're usually not—" He abruptly gasped and let go. "Oh, I'm stupid, I could hurt you—"

Viktor sighed. Oh, Yuuri. Even in pain, he was considerate to a fault... "Yuuri, don't worry about that, just hold onto me if you need to."

"I…h-help me out of this," Yuuri grunted, shrugging away from his robe in vain, and Viktor hastily helped him peel it all the way off. Yuuri reluctantly slid his arm around Viktor's right leg again, and Viktor held his left hand down where Yuuri could grasp it. He gripped it firmly, lacing their fingers together.

"There we go. I've got you, baby. Now, deep breaths with me…"

For only about a minute (thank God, it was short), Yuuri breathed his way through the contraction, his posture rigid, pressing his cheek to Viktor's right knee and periodically tightening his fingers on his calf. All Viktor could do was hope that the breathing helped take Yuuri's mind off of the pain. A couple of times, Yuuri stifled a moan, and his hand trembled in Viktor's.

Not for the last time, it occurred to Viktor just how strong his Yuuri was.

When the pain seemed to wear down, Yuuri murmured something that Viktor didn't catch.

"What?" He leaned down closer. "I didn't hear you, love."

When Yuuri spoke, his voice had that weary, stretched-thin quality to it again, like it hurt to talk. "Get the doppler. In the nightstand drawer, my side of the bed."

Viktor crawled across the bed to retrieve the handheld ultrasound doppler and small tube of conductive gel they'd been given at the doctor. "Do you want me to, or…?"

Yuuri's head had fallen back onto the mattress, his lashes fanning on the dark circles underneath his eyes and a tired line between his eyebrows. "Might want to let me, I have a better feel for where the baby is."

As Viktor helped Yuuri onto the bed, he couldn't help but notice him dragging, as if his limbs were too heavy. Yuuri got situated against the pillows and immediately went limp and closed his eyes again, whimpering out a sigh and letting his head fall to the side, as if he had exhausted all his strength and just wanted to give up and go to sleep. Viktor's heart ached for him. He was so tired…

He brushed Yuuri's bangs off of his damp forehead, reluctant to make him move. "You need to check now, _solnyshko_. The doctor said to do it as soon as possible after a contraction." He stroked Yuuri's soft, flushed cheek. "Do you want to find the baby for me and let me do it?"

It took Yuuri a long few seconds to respond, but he slowly nodded and opened his eyes, briefly squeezing them shut and rubbing his face as if to wake himself up, then pulled his shirt up to his chest. Gently pressing and kneading into his bare belly with his hands, he seemed to find where the baby was positioned and popped the cap off of the tube, squeezing a little mound of gel onto his skin.

"Try there," he murmured.

Viktor picked up the small device and scooted a little closer, crossing his legs. "Let's see if we can't find you," he said under his breath, switching on the doppler and wincing at the short blast of empty static from the speaker. He pressed the head of the tiny wand into the gel on Yuuri's stomach and rubbed it around, prompting a series of thick pops and crackles that he could feel ticking against his hand.

They lapsed into a reverent silence as Viktor searched for their baby's heartbeat, and as he did, Viktor stole a few glances up at Yuuri. His eyes were half-lidded and he was gazing down at his bump, blinking slowly, sleepily. Though his eyes would slip shut periodically, he stayed awake, trailing his fingertips in a lazy circle just above his navel. When his eyes were open, they were incredibly soft, the rich dark brown of his irises reflecting the warm light from the bedside lamp. He didn't seem to be in any pain anymore, and Viktor was so glad. It made his stomach clench up when Yuuri hurt.

A heartbeat rose out of the meaningless static, but it was much too slow and loud to be the baby's. It was Yuuri's. Nonetheless, Viktor listened to it for just a moment, enthralled by the sound of his love's heart giving him life, then moved just to the left of Yuuri's pulse. He heard the steady, unbroken rushing that the doctors had told them was the placenta, so he moved down. Finally, he heard the rapid thumps of the baby's heart.

"There's my baby," he whispered, adjusting the wand until the pulse was loud and clear and holding it still to get a reading. He swallowed back the lump in his throat. That sound never failed to hit him square in the heart.

A soft hum from Yuuri drew Viktor's eyes up. His expression was pure, unadulterated love, and it warmed Viktor's whole body. "Strong little heart," he murmured. His mouth stretched wide in a yawn that was entirely too cute.

The two zeroes on the doppler's small screen blinked and changed.

"147. Isn't that about what it was at the last doctor visit?" Viktor snagged a tissue for Yuuri to wipe his belly with.

"It was around that, yeah." Yuuri cleaned up the gel and set the tissue aside on the nightstand, tugging his shirt back down, then shifted further up on the pillows, huffing out tight breaths as he did. "Heart rate is normal, so that's good. Contractions aren't affecting it." He wormed his way underneath the covers, then lifted his chin to give Viktor a smile. "Now, come here. I believe we had a snuggle date."

Viktor gladly slipped under the sheets and comforter with him, and they settled into the most comfortable position they knew: Yuuri on his side, snuggled up to Viktor with his face tucked into his neck, resting the side of his belly on Viktor's abdomen in case the baby kicked, so he could feel it. Once they were situated, Viktor felt Yuuri practically melt in his arms, humming a soft, smiling sound of contentment. His soft lips pressed against Viktor's scent gland in his neck.

"Quiet snuggling is exactly what we both needed, I think." He nuzzled Viktor's neck, and Viktor felt the tingle of his pheromones being drawn out of his skin. Yuuri inhaled deeply, then let the breath out in a warm sigh of pleasure. "I love that smell."

Viktor grinned. "What am I, a scratch and sniff sticker?" Yuuri nodded solemnly, and Viktor laughed. "Tilt your head back for me." Yuuri curiously complied, and Viktor immediately buried his nose in Yuuri's neck and nuzzled and sniffed, prompting a melodious giggle to burst from Yuuri's throat. "There. Now we're even."

"Dork," Yuuri teased.

Viktor narrowed his eyes, then dipped his head and blew a raspberry against Yuuri's neck, and Yuuri shrugged away and yelped out a sharp laugh, but then abruptly jerked and gasped.

"Oh…" He clutched his belly, and the smile immediately faded from Viktor's face. "I think that scared the baby, they jumped up in my ribs."

"I'm sorry." Viktor cradled him gently, smoothing his hair away from his forehead and kissing it. "Did it hurt?"

"Only a little." Yuuri blew a breath from his pursed lips, slowly relaxing. "Hopefully they'll go back to sleep…"

"It's weird," Viktor chuckled, "it's almost like you're two people in one. I forget sometimes that you have a baby in there." He moved his hand down to rest on the bump.

"We won't be able to forget for much longer," Yuuri murmured. Viktor raised a confused eyebrow at the choice of words, and Yuuri seemed to realize it, blushing and amending. "I don't mean it in a bad way, of course. I wouldn't trade the baby for the world. I don't care how much of an accident they were, they're the happiest accident of my life." He lapsed into silence, smoothing his cool fingertips over Viktor's knuckles and playing with his ring.

Despite the positivity of his words, Viktor could sense some lingering disquiet. He could feel how hot Yuuri's cheek was against his shoulder, even through the shirt he wore. He worked up the courage to break the silence, inwardly crossed his fingers that Yuuri wouldn't withdraw.

"Something on your mind?" He inquired softly.

Yuuri's head slowly shifted on his shoulder, and Viktor realized with a pinch of sadness in his heart that he had shaken his head. Something in him cautioned against pushing Yuuri too hard, so he didn't force him to talk, though curiosity gnawed at him. Yuuri needed his space sometimes.

He settled for tightening his arms around Yuuri briefly and pressing his lips to his silky hair, savoring the warmth that seeped from his body and the subtle, spicy-sweet fragrance that had become synonymous with home and comfort. He gently rested his hand on Yuuri's stomach again when he felt a nudge against his own belly, lost in his own thoughts.

He couldn't help but wonder what on earth it was like, to carry a whole baby, an entire other human being, inside your own body for such a long time. Something in his chest fluttered curiously for half a second, an emotion he couldn't have named if he tried, mingled with a deep sense of admiration.

"You're amazing, you know that?" He whispered in the quiet.

When he received no response, he opened his mouth to speak again, but Yuuri's soft, even breath against his neck stopped him. He glanced downward, and sure enough, Yuuri had drifted off to sleep, lips parted and body relaxed. Viktor smiled softly at the sight.

_Precious._

His heart gave a sudden twinge as he studied Yuuri's serene expression. He had almost forgotten what it was like to see his face completely free of pain or weariness. The pregnancy had been especially hard on him lately, Viktor could tell, and it was getting harder every week. Day by day, the baby put more strain on Yuuri's back and internal organs, but thankfully, it was almost over.

The Grand Prix Final was exactly one month away, and then, nine days later, Yuuri's due date loomed.

Viktor didn't know if he'd ever be entirely prepared for that.

It held a host of different emotions for him; joy and anticipation, certainly, but the one that had taken up residence in his heart the most lately was a restless uneasiness. Yuuri was anxious as well; though he didn't talk much about it, the thought of having the baby obviously weighed very heavy on his mind. He was a bit more emotionally withdrawn these days, but Viktor knew it was probably due to stress and anxiety, and therefore wasn't personal.

Though, to Viktor's slight exasperation, despite all of the discomfort and tiredness he was dealing with, Yuuri still wanted to be at the Grand Prix Final with him.

Viktor thought it was a bad idea, but Yuuri, naturally, was adamant; he just didn't want to leave Viktor all alone. It obviously meant a lot to him to be there for moral support.

They had argued about it more times than Viktor could count on one hand, and the last time they had quarreled, to Viktor's horror, he had made Yuuri cry. ( _Again_ , his mind sneered.) They had eventually come to a compromise, but still, Viktor had felt like a complete asshole, even though they had both apologized afterward.

He gently rubbed his lips on top of Yuuri's head, feeling the softness of his hair and breathing in his scent, guilt filling his heart. _I'm sorry again, baby. You didn't deserve that._

As if to punctuate his thoughts, there was a sharp kick against his abdomen from inside Yuuri's belly, strong enough to startle him. _Good grief_ … It still amazed him that Yuuri could sleep through that.

Soon, the heat from Yuuri's body lulled him into a state of drowsiness. His eyes kept slipping shut, but he fought it long enough to slide the cold pack off of his knee and drop it on the floor. His knee was completely numb, deadened by the ice and the medicine he had taken. That was probably why he was so sleepy, too…the stuff made him feel dazed and unsteady on his feet if he took the recommended dosage, part of the reason he hated taking it. Though, maybe it wasn't all bad. It would certainly help him sleep.

For a couple of seconds, he contemplated getting up to brush his teeth, but his hazy mind scoffed at him, effectively shushing and soothing away any desire to leave the warmth and comfort of Yuuri's arms.

He snuggled down further, kissing his sleeping beauty's forehead and giving little bean a good-night rub. Aided by the coziness of the bed and Yuuri next to him, he fell into a deep, healing sleep, dreamless and peaceful.

-

In the morning, when he woke with his mouth feeling like actual death, he only regretted it a _little_ bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri proly woke up the next morning and agonized over pregnancy brain making him forget to text Yuri ;u;
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the chapter! I had so much fun writing Yuri, he's so snarky and precious. Poor baby having his heat at such an awful time :c and gah, but I hate writing Viktor in pain, it makes me feel so bad for him ;_;
> 
> Since I'm done with school(THANK FUCK), I'll be working steadily on the next chapter, so hopefully it won't be 10,000 years until the next one this time! If you wanna keep up with updates, I post fairly regularly on my tumblr about it. Come see me @lilithsins if you never have ♡
> 
> I wanted to coincide the last few chapters' events with real dates, but I'm not sure I'll be able to finish the fic in time...I don't want to rush the ending too much! Sorry for the slow buildup, but that's how pregnancy works in the real world, right? :)
> 
> Next chapter: baby shoes, Christmas lights, and katsudon!!
> 
> Until next time! I love you all like snow on Christmas morning! <33


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! I'm back, and it hasn't even been a hundred years! (Once again, fuck you, school, I'll never miss you)
> 
> This chapter felt a bit rushed while I was writing, so I hope it's satisfactory ;;;
> 
> Content warning: sexytimes near the end of the chapter ;)
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

_Flashback - 34 weeks, 1 day_

 

He had seen this coming for months, and he still hadn't been ready.

"Viktor, I can't just abandon you," Yuuri said in disbelief, the telltale wobble in his voice sending a lance of cold guilt through Viktor's chest. "It will be fine, I'll just—"

"No, Yuuri."

"But, I—"

He shot Yuuri a warning glance. "I said no."

 _"Viktor!"_ Yuuri snapped.

"You don't have to shout," he said blithely, "I'm not shouting."

"I'm raising my voice because I can't believe you'd even think of doing this to me!"

"I'm not _doing_ anything t—" Viktor cut himself off and threw a pair of socks into his suitcase with more force than necessary, creating a loud _whap_ ; he saw Yuuri give a startled twitch in his peripheral vision. "I don't want to talk about it anymore." He stalked to the bathroom to rummage through the drawer, and Yuuri's scowl could be felt all the way across the room through the doorway.

"You've made up your mind, I see. Or rather, made up my mind for me." Viktor glanced at him sharply, seeing that his fists were clenched at his sides, knuckles white. He probably would have looked a thousand times more intimidating if he hadn't been so round with their baby, but his brown eyes still snapped and smoldered like live coals, dark with anger. "Viktor, I'm an adult, and I have a say in this, whether you like it or not."

"Going that far away from home that close to your due date would be foolhardy," Viktor said simply.

"Foolhardy?" Yuuri's voice rose an octave, and Viktor tried not to cringe at the volume. "Me wanting to support my future husband at his season's biggest skating competition is _foolhardy?_ For fuck's sake, Viktor, are you hearing yourself?!"

"It's nine days before your due date!" Viktor shook his head in disbelief and ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated. "Yuuri, I really don't see—"

"If you would just listen for five goddamn seconds," Yuuri said slowly, "you _would_ see."

A weary sigh worked its way out of Viktor's chest, and he rubbed the inside corners of his eyes with his thumb and index finger. Yuuri wasn't going to drop it until he had his say, he knew. He was terrifyingly stubborn during arguments, and if he was mad enough to drop the f-bomb, Viktor was better off letting him talk. If he walked away and let Yuuri stew like this, he'd be mad for hours.

"Fine. I'm listening."

Yuuri relaxed slightly, but Viktor saw one of his hands shake. "Good." He took a trembling, calming breath. "There's a hospital literally two buildings away from the skating arena and the hotel. In fact, it's way closer to a hospital than if I stayed here, where the hospital is thirty minutes away, maybe even more, considering traffic. And if something did happen at the final, at least you would be _with_ me. Viktor, I…" Yuuri's tone changed. His expression was stony, but the corners of his mouth quivered, and he breathed deep, shuddering breaths for a few silent seconds, obviously trying not to cry. "If I went into labor without you here with me, I just don't think I could stand it." His voice wobbled and grew thin on the last few words.

That chipped away a good bit of Viktor's resolve, and his shoulders slumped. "I don't know if I could, either, baby," he murmured.

"Then think about it for more than a few seconds, please? That's all I ask." Yuuri's hand tightened on his own forearm. His forehead was wrinkled in an imploring expression.

Viktor paused. Considered the words very carefully. There was some logic to them, beneath the bullheadedness.

Maybe Yuuri was right. Because, as it stood, if their luck really was so terrible that Yuuri went into labor with Viktor stuck at the Final in Nagoya…

The thought made Viktor's chest feel several sizes too small.

He took a long, deep breath and let it out in a reluctant sigh, rubbing his hand over his face.

"Okay," he said quietly, "you win." Yuuri brightened, but Viktor held up his hand. "On one condition."

"Anything," Yuuri said breathlessly with a nod of his head.

"If you feel anything, _anything_ remotely different, at any point, and think that you may be in labor, you will tell me immediately."

Yuuri's brows drew together. "Of course I w—"

"I'm not so sure you would," Viktor interrupted, eyeing Yuuri carefully. "Your selflessness can go too far sometimes."

Yuuri spluttered, eyes wide and brows low. "What does _that_ mean?"

Viktor sighed wearily. "It means, Yuuri, that I don't care if you go into labor the second I step onto the ice. You will tell me immediately, and I'll drop everything in a heartbeat. None of your 'I'll ruin everything for Viktor if I say something' nonsense."

"I'm not sure I like the way you're treating me." Yuuri's voice shook, and Viktor couldn't tell if it was out of anger or an effort not to cry (probably both, honestly), but the splotchy pink on his cheeks darkened and spread down the sides of his face. His eyes were wet. Seething.

Viktor faltered. "Yuuri, I'm…I'm just trying to—"

"Control me, that's what you're doing." Yuuri's voice was high and razor sharp, force behind his words, something dangerously close to breaking. "You're treating me like a stupid little kid."

Viktor's throat grew tight and hot with anger. "I'm treating you like you've kept silent about being in pain before. Please, don't put our child in danger with your stubbornness."

The "again" on the end of the sentence went unspoken, but apparently the implication wasn't as subtle as Viktor thought.

Because the tears pooled in Yuuri's wide eyes slipped down his cheeks.

"How dare you," he whispered hoarsely, then raised his voice, quivering with anger and incredulity, "how dare you imply something like that?" His countenance wavered and crumbled, and then with a choked, badly stifled sob, the floodgates slammed open.

The back of Viktor's neck prickled with unease, just like it had all those months ago in the parking garage at the Cup of China. Yuuri was crying in earnest now, taking his glasses off and throwing them to the bed, his face furious and hurt and wet with tears. Unsure of what to do, Viktor's hands hovered uselessly in the air in front of him. _Do something! He's upset, and it's your fault!_ his insides screamed.

"Yuuri, please don't cry," he begged, stepping closer and reaching out, but Yuuri roughly shrugged away from him, burying his scrunched face in his hands, shoulders heaving with his sobs.

"H-how could you s-say that knowing how s-scared I am of losing them?" Yuuri wailed, muffled by his hands, and he sat down hard on the edge of the bed, words spilling out of him like water. "Is that what you really think of me? That I'd…I'd never knowingly put the baby in danger like that! Not after wh-what…what…" he dissolved into gasping, anguished weeping, the sound of it so broken and guilt-filled that Viktor wanted to cry himself.

The rational part of his mind smacked him out of it. _Get it together. Apologize right now, and stop being a vindictive asshole. He's pregnant with your baby. He's tired and uncomfortable and he doesn't deserve that kind of treatment_.

"Yuuri, I-I'm sorry," he mumbled, "that…I'm so sorry." He cringed inwardly when he replayed the words he'd spoken in his head. _What the hell is wrong with me?_

Yuuri either didn't hear him over his own crying, or chose to ignore him. Viktor cautiously approached the bed, kneeling down in front of Yuuri.

"Baby, please," he said very gently, not daring to touch. "I didn't mean it. Will you look at me?" It took a while, but Yuuri slowly raised his head, eyes red and wounded. He was so distressed that it was evident in his scent, raw and salty and abrasive, like an open wound. Viktor's heart twisted. That had hurt his feelings badly. "I should never have said that, and I'm sorry. Please, forgive me."

Yuuri looked away, remnants of anger still glinting in his eyes. "That was a horrible thing to say," he hissed, sniffling. Another tear slid down his cheek, and he didn't even bother to brush it away.

"Yuuri, I said I was sorry," Viktor pleaded, softly but firmly, "you said some things that weren't nice, too, you know."

Yuuri's gaze jerked back, eyes blazing. "Like what?" he bit out.

Every instinct in Viktor told him to back up, but he stood his ground. "Accusing me of controlling you, for one thing. Which I'd never do, and I'm not doing now."

The anger drained from Yuuri's face, and he looked down again, gradually wilting like a neglected flower. "It kinda feels like it," he mumbled defensively.

Taking one pale, shaking hand in his, Viktor covered it with his other hand, prompting Yuuri to look back up, an ocean of sadness in his big brown eyes. Viktor kept his tone soft and unthreatening. "Honey, I'm just _worried_. I want the best for you, and for little bean. I'm not trying to control you, not now, not ever. You're my partner, and my equal." He chewed his lip briefly. "I think…" he took a deep breath, "I think it will be fine if you go, provided you're cleared by the doctor and you feel up to it. Pregnant people can still get out and do things, after all. I'm probably worrying a little too much." Hell, Yuliana had walked around stalled at three centimeters dilated for nearly a week near the end of her first pregnancy. They had finally had to induce her. "All I ask is that you don't try to put me first this time. If you don't feel like being there, or if little bean decides they're ready to come out while we're there, it won't be the end of the world. You and the baby are the priority right now, not my skating season."

"It's your _comeback_ ," Yuuri whispered fiercely, tearfully, though the anger wasn't directed at Viktor anymore, "I'd never forgive myself if I ruined it for you."

Viktor gave him a deadpan look. "Yuuri. You do realize that we've been waiting for months to meet our baby, don't you?"

"Um…yeah?" Yuuri sounded confused. He reached up to wipe his nose.

"You wouldn't be ruining anything, _solnyshko_. If you go into labor while we're there, it won't matter one bit if I don't get to skate!" He huffed out a laugh and lifted Yuuri's hand to his chest in his excitement, and Yuuri's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Nothing else but you and little bean will matter, I'll be so excited I won't _want_ to skate! We'll finally get to meet our baby face to face!" Even though the conversation was serious, Viktor's heart leapt for joy in his chest.

"I…didn't think of it that way," Yuuri confessed, fiddling with his thumb. A hesitant, fragile smile lifted his lips, like the winter sun coming out from behind the clouds. "It's hard, sometimes…to remember that all of this will be worth it in a few weeks." He wiped his face with the heel of his hand and sniffled. "I'm sorry, too…I'm being terribly bitchy. You're not even asking anything unreasonable. It just…I don't know why I went off like that…"

Viktor kissed the back of Yuuri's knuckles. "You're stressed, baby, and your hormones are messing with your emotions." Viktor rose up and sat down on the bed next to him, picking up his glasses and wiping them with the hem of his shirt. "How are you feeling right now?" He slid the glasses back onto Yuuri's face.

"Really, really tired," Yuuri confessed quietly, sounding a bit out of breath. Ahh, so that was it. Maybe that was why he was more irritable than usual. The dark circles underneath his eyes spoke volumes.

"Come here…" Viktor gently invited Yuuri into an embrace, silently thankful that he came easily, and kissed the bridge of his nose, brushing his bangs away from his pale skin. "I think you need a good night's sleep."

"I'll never get it," Yuuri said wearily, resting his cheek on Viktor's shoulder and rubbing the bump that protruded far into his lap, "not with sharp little heels kicking the crap out of my bladder every two minutes." Viktor's hand joined Yuuri's low on his belly, and sure enough, he felt a jab against his palm. "I wish they'd hurry up and stay head down. I can actually breathe when they are…"

Viktor smoothed his hand up and down Yuuri's hunched back. "You won't be pregnant forever, sweetheart."

"Sure as hell feels like it," Yuuri grumbled, tiredly scrubbing his eye underneath his glasses with one hand. "I wish I could just skip these next few weeks. I'm tired of being huge, I just want it to be over already."

"I know," Viktor murmured. He scooted back and crossed his legs underneath himself. "For now, I can try to help a little bit. Back rub?"

Yuuri blew a long, weary breath out between his lips and nodded. "Yes, please. Anything would help."

The sounds of pain Yuuri made when Viktor did this were never comforting, but he just had to trust that it really helped as much as Yuuri said it did.

As he massaged and kneaded Yuuri's poor, aching back, he silently wished for December nineteenth to hurry up and get here, for all of their sakes.

-

_36 weeks, 2 days_

 

It was occurring to Yuuri, bit by bit, just how close to meeting his baby he was.

Of course, he had always known that the pregnancy would ultimately end with a baby. That much was glaringly obvious from the sheer size of his belly. It was the light at the end of the tunnel, the prize at the end of the race. However, when his back and feet ached so badly he could barely walk, when he couldn't get a wink of sleep because of the baby dancing all over his organs, when he was just so _exhausted_ he could lie on the floor and pass out from weariness…that hope was easy to lose sight of. But lately, little things here and there were slowly reminding him that he was almost at the end.

Little things like dropping his phone on the floor of the lobby as he waddled through on the way outside to see if it had snowed yet.

He reflexively leaned over to pick it up and immediately grunted in surprise at the hard, unyielding press of his uterus against his stomach that stopped him from doing so. He straightened and glared down at the phone in vain, then let out a long, frustrated sigh at the ceiling. Of course he couldn't lean over like that, he couldn't even see his feet anymore. Thank goodness no one was around…

His father found him awkwardly leaning this way and that, trying and failing to pick the traitorous phone up, but though Yuuri was embarrassed, Toshiya just picked the phone up for him and offered a smile and a gentle pat on the back.

"Your mother had that trouble, too," he said simply. Yuuri was always so grateful for his quiet understanding.

Little things like sitting at the kotatsu for breakfast and jerking his face into his elbow for a sneeze, and immediately straightening his back, his face blanking when he felt sudden warmth between his legs. He sighed out a long, embarrassed groan, squeezing his eyes shut and letting his head fall to the table. He felt a hesitant hand on his back.

"Again?" Viktor asked quietly, and Yuuri nodded weakly against the table.

Viktor brought him clean pairs of underwear and pajama pants without another word.

Little things like hearing a tiny baby cry on a commercial on the TV, and his body immediately reacting.

Not only did his heart clench up with an indescribable feeling of sadness and urgency that brought tears to his eyes, his chest prickled and stung, and the absorbent pads that covered his nipples soaked up the sudden rush of colostrum he produced. His face turned beet red and he had to run out of the lobby, as best he could, to avoid bursting into tears in front of the guests. Viktor worriedly followed him, afraid he was rushing to the bathroom to throw up or something, but once Yuuri explained what had happened, he hugged Yuuri close and helped him calm down with gentle kisses and whispered encouragement.

It was crazy how fast his body had jumped into caretaker mode, and the emotional whiplash when it realized there was no baby to nurture left him a bit shaken.

"At least your plumbing works," Viktor pointed out with a straight face once Yuuri was calm, and Yuuri smacked him on the arm.

Little things like the emptiness in his arms, the heavy yearning in his heart and soul, when he saw a mother tenderly cradling her sleeping newborn to her chest in the doctor's office. The baby was impossibly tiny, skin pink and new to the world, and the young woman's stomach was still softly rounded. It must have been mere days since she had delivered. Yuuri found himself wondering if her birth had been smooth, but he was far too bashful to ask a perfect stranger such a personal question.

His chest ached with longing as he watched the woman smooth the fine, wispy brown hair on the newborn's head with her fingertips, leaning her head down to brush the lightest of kisses on the wrinkled little forehead. Her face, though worn out and pale from tiredness, still glowed with adoration, and the baby shifted and let out a soft, sweet little grunt in her sleep. Yuuri cradled his own belly, feeling the solid press of the baby he knew was in there against his insides, and a lump of something like jealousy rose in his throat.

Oh, he wanted that. So badly he could almost cry.

Viktor had apparently noticed him glancing at the woman from time to time, and leaned to whisper, "not much longer, _solnyshko_ ," and give Yuuri's knee a squeeze. God, he was so sweet. Yuuri was incredibly lucky to have him.

The next reminder wasn't so little: the news that he'd be having his cerclage removed in less than a week. On his birthday, no less. What a present, having your birth canal and cervix violated by speculums and tweezers and clippers. _Ugh_.

He made the grand mistake of looking up stories of cerclage removals on various forums, and they ranged from reassurances that it was ho-hum and painless to people claiming that the pain was so agonizing that they had never wanted another baby.

He was petrified.

Not only because it might be painful, but because of the symbolism of it. The stitching had felt like a failsafe, something that provided a sense of safety and security. It had eased his mind when he would worry from time to time about having the baby too early. It was scary to think that, without the cerclage, there would be nothing to stop him from going into premature labor. He had become dependent on that reassurance, and he desperately wished he hadn't, because without it, he would be so anxious.

Somehow, though, seeing that petite nose, those teeny fingers, that sweet little pucker of lips on the ultrasound monitor…it made all of the anxiety and pain worth it.

 _I'm so ready to meet you_ , he thought as he lovingly stroked his bare side, where tiny hands were pressing up from underneath.

Another reminder wasn't very pleasant, either. His fundal height was still measuring two weeks ahead of schedule, which meant that the excess amniotic fluid in his womb hadn't gone down at all. It hadn't gone up, either, it was still hovering around twenty-four, but it still worried him sick. Polyhydramnios (or at least, that's what he was pretty sure the English translation came out to be, after researching it online) could be extremely dangerous, and it carried a list of gristly complications in childbirth.

If his fluid index increased any more before he delivered, he could be looking at the possibility of a cesarean birth, and he _really_ didn't want that.

All they could do was hope, and pray, that it stayed where it was.

The next reminder was both hilarious (for Viktor) and mortifying.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't realize it was so close behind me!" Yuuri stammered out in rapid Japanese, wringing his hands in the middle of the grocery store aisle as two employees worked to pick up the boxes from the display he had knocked down. He had just turned around, dammit, but he hadn't remembered in time that there was an extra foot of space sticking out in front of him now.

The male employee just waved his hand and smiled, and the lady helping him giggled.

"Don't worry about it," the woman said kindly, "my husband did the same thing once when he was pregnant. Accidents happen when you're that big."

Yuuri's cheeks had positively sizzled all the way home. Viktor had pressed his lips together, stifling a smile, obviously trying not to laugh too hard.

"It was _cute_ ," he would insist later in his defense, "how could you expect me not to laugh at something so cute?"

Yuuri just mercilessly tickled him into submission, reveling in his howls of joyful laughter.

It was easiest to remember, though, when he was lying in bed at night, quietly watching his protruding stomach ripple and wobble with his baby's movement. Viktor would be reading, or sleeping if it was late enough, but most of the time, he'd be lying next to Yuuri and feeling of his belly, his eyes bright with curiosity and love. Sometimes, he'd sing to the baby, and it choked Yuuri up every time.

One particular night, they were lying in bed with the lamp on a low setting, watching little bean do their best to stretch Yuuri's skin as far as it could go. Yuuri swore to heaven above that he saw a hand print rise on his upper belly once.

Viktor was sprawled between Yuuri's legs, arms wrapped loosely around his thighs and warm mouth pressed just below his navel. His eyes were closed, lips rubbing Yuuri's skin softly as he crooned a Russian lullaby to their baby. Something fluttered in the back of Yuuri's mind, and he realized that he recognized the song. It was the one Viktor had sung to him months ago in bed, after he had had that terrible panic attack in the bathroom.

When Viktor's words trailed off into sonorous humming, Yuuri reached to tuck the long, silver bangs behind his ear. "That's a beautiful song," he murmured.

Viktor nodded, a smile relaxed on his face. "Mama used to sing it to me when I was a boy."

Yuuri's heart softened with an ache of regret. "I bet she had a lovely voice."

The blue eyes glistened. "She did, Yuuri. It was as clear as glass, and soft as silk." He breathed out a laugh through his nose, and Yuuri felt the little puff of air on his bare belly. "Papa was always jealous of it. He couldn't carry a tune in a bucket if you handed it to him."

Yuuri decided to step out on the limb a bit more. "What did your father look like, if you don't mind me asking?"

"He was tall, very tall. Taller than me. I think he was about 6'4", because he towered over mama by several inches, and she wasn't exactly short. His hair was a kind of…light, wheat-colored blond, and his eyes were even bluer than mine." Viktor smiled fondly. "He was very handsome. My mother always joked that he was her trophy husband, and he would very matter-of-factly tell her she had it backwards."

Yuuri smiled at the thought. He tried his best to imagine what Fyodor Nikiforov and Aleksandra Nikiforova would have been like. Would they have liked him? He wondered if either one of them had had Viktor's heart-shaped smile, or his deep-set eyes.

As if he could hear Yuuri's thoughts, Viktor spoke softly. "I…have pictures of them. Of all of us. If you want to see them, sometime. They're in a box in Yakov's closet."

Yuuri's heart jumped, and the breath hung in his lungs for a moment, afraid to be let out.

"I'd love to," he breathed softly, cupping Viktor's cheek in his hand. He said a silent prayer of thanks that Viktor was opening his heart of his own volition like this.

Viktor's breath hitched and his brow creased briefly, as if he had started to say something and then aborted the thought. He looked down, lashes hooding his eyes.

"I'm sorry I don't always…" he trailed off, worrying his bottom lip, then swallowed. "They're still just…hard for me to talk about."

Yuuri was saddened. He smoothed his thumb over Viktor's eyebrow, tracing the delicate shape. "You don't have to be sorry, Viktor. Ever. I'll never push you farther than you want to go. Tell me about them in your own time."

The tension in Viktor's face drained away, replaced with a look of relief. "Thank you," he murmured, dipping his head down to rest his cheek on the baby bump.

"You…will tell me, though? One day?" Yuuri asked hesitantly.

Viktor's lashes fluttered against his cheek as he blinked silently for a moment, then he nodded.

"Of course. You deserve to know…they would have been your family. I want you to know them like…like they were still—" he broke off abruptly and drew a shuddering breath through his nose, lip quivering.

"Shhh…" Yuuri stroked Viktor's soft cheek with the back of his knuckles, wiped the tiny tear that trickled down his temple. He didn't say any more. He didn't think he needed to.

After a few seconds of the baby wiggling underneath his cheek, Viktor's face softened into a smile. "The movement seems different these days, to me."

Yuuri let him change the subject. "Oh? How so?"

Viktor's hand came up to stroke Yuuri's side next to where his hip bone was, right over the two or three soft mauve stretch marks Yuuri had been mortified to find a few days ago. "Like little bean is having trouble moving as much as they'd like to. There's still a lot of force behind it, but it pushes your tummy out less."

Yuuri rested his hand on his side, feeling a soft jab underneath his palm. "It's probably _getting_ hard for them to move too much. It's so tight and cramped in there now, so I'm not surprised." He could feel the difference lately, too. Like the baby sometimes struggled to stretch the strong, taut muscle walls.

There was a soft knock at the door, and Viktor called for them to come in. Mari stuck her two-toned head through the doorway.

"Kaa-san has dinner ready." Her lips tipped up in a smile when she saw the position they were in. "Baby moving around?" She asked, her voice quiet and reverent. Yuuri nodded, beckoning her closer.

Her warm hand gently met his skin, and her brown eyes filled with affection at the baby's attempts to wriggle and squirm in their snug confines. Yuuri could picture her clear as day, holding a tiny newborn, leading a messy-haired toddler around with her fingers and teaching them simple Japanese words in her soft, gruff voice. She already loved the baby so much. His heart sank when he remembered she'd never be able to carry one of her own.

"Little wiggle worm." She gave his belly a pat and straightened. "I bet you're ready to have that out of there."

"You have no idea," Yuuri breathed, accepting Viktor's hand and slowly rising from the bed, tightly shutting his eyes when his back flared painfully. "I can't even remember what it was like to not have a baby squishing my bladder 24/7."

Mari rubbed his shoulder. "Not much longer. You can do it," she encouraged.

As they made their way to the kitchen, slowly for Yuuri's benefit, Yuuri hoped she was right, because as of now, it felt like he had been pregnant for two years. The time had gone so quickly before, why was it stalling now, when he was so close?

He just wanted to meet his baby.

-

**katsuki-y**

 [](http://i.imgur.com/yGG07e1)

♡1,274,395 likes  
This kid is huge and I can't breathe. @v-nikiforov #victorybaby #36wks #help #whenwillmyribsreturnfromthewar #ifeellikeawhale #comeondecember19th

  
**v-nikiforov** I love this picture, I want to frame it <3 #victorybaby #mywholeheart  
38,914 likes

 **TimeToDuel** gosh, that's an amazing picture. The love is tangible. #victorybaby  
2,412 likes

 **december-rain** little beans bday may be on mine, omg I'd feel so blessed #victorybaby  
1,389 likes

 **phichit-chu** my favesssss ♡♡ #victorybaby #whyyallsobeautiful  
4,482 likes

 **Lord-of-Undvik** every time I see a #victorybaby pic in my feed, it adds a year to my lifespan  
6,293 likes

 **Somuchloveinyou39** the way viktor is kissing yuuris head like if u agree #victorybaby #theyloveeachother  
28,476 likes

 **7oh7** they're such a sweet couple. i love seeing their little preggo updates, and i can't wait till baby gets here ♡ #victorybaby  
1,821 likes

 **¥MCA0** BOTH OF THEIR HANDS ON YUURIS TUMMY MY HEART ♡♡♡ #victorybaby #askfhjfsjs  
983 likes

 **izzy-yang** what a wonderful picture! It feels warm and happy :) #victorybaby #iwantababyoneday  
1,358 likes

 **+guanghongji+** gah, you guys make my heart all fuzzy with these pics #victorybaby  
830 likes

 **WutheringDepths** he kinda looks too big for just one bb…I wonder, hmm ;)  
234 likes

      **Raiarain** okay as someone who also suffered from polyhydramnios in pregnancy (which is what Yuuri has and is why he's so big, according to one of Viktor's last text updates) I really wish people would stop saying this…it's a serious condition…pls stop poking fun and waggling eyebrows, they've told us several times that Yuuri is having one baby…no need to remind him of the potential danger he's in any more than necessary…  
     5,891 likes

 **megumin-best-girl** sweet family <33 #victorybaby  
721 likes

 **christophe-gc** gaah, i'm melting!! I know you two love that sweet baby so much ♡ #victorybaby #cantwaittomeetthem  
3,477 likes

 **00Ophelia00** I'll never get over how ATTRACTIVE Yuuri has stayed through this whole thing, jfc. His skin? His hair? His eyebrows??? And of course that adorable bby bump. It gives me life how handsome he is  <333 #victorybaby #beautifullilmama  
1,003 likes

 **69cents** im dead but this pic brought me back to life know what I'm sayin #victorybaby

 

-

  
_37 weeks, 1 day_

  
One thing that Yuuri had learned in these past few weeks was that the ceiling tiles in their room were very boring. Especially at nearly two a.m., when he should be sleeping in preparation for the doctor's appointment he was dreading so much.

His eyes nervously traced the thin cracks and water stains in the ceiling to occupy himself as he lay in bed, unable to sleep. To look up like this without being on his back, he had had to lay sideways and twist so that his left hip and the side of his belly were on the bed, but so were both of his shoulders and his upper back. It was surprisingly comfortable, stretching his lower back in just the right way. He wondered why he'd never tried it before.

Cradled in their pillow like a precious gem, little bean wiggled around softly in his belly, lazily rolling over. The gentleness of it was pleasantly surprising. Usually they kicked up a storm after midnight. He slipped a hand under his shirt and rubbed gently, feeling what had to be the baby's back beneath his palm.

Today was the day. In less than twelve hours, his cerclage would be removed. Try as he might, he couldn't get the stories he had read out of his head. No matter how hard he pushed the thoughts away, they would come flooding back, filling his mind with blood and stitches and pain. Some people had even had to have surgery to have them removed, and the chances of going into labor soon after a cerclage was taken out were far higher than he would have liked.

His stomach growled emptily. _Great_. On top of being anxious, now he was hungry.

He sighed at the harder jab to his bladder, glancing down at his belly with raised eyebrow. _Don't you dare_ , he warned silently.

Viktor snoozed away on his back beside him, snuggled down in the fluffy comforter and looking sweet and snug as could be. He hadn't moved in a while, and his breath was very slow and even, mouth slack and eyelids twitching. Yuuri was glad he was sleeping so deeply and peacefully, but he couldn't help but feel envious of his decidedly not pregnant husband-to-be. _No baby in_ your _stomach to prod you awake at ungodly hours…_

He closed his eyes, finally feeling a hint of sleepiness wash over him. Maybe it would be okay. Maybe it wouldn't hurt. Right? The doctors knew what they were doing. They did stuff like this every day, it was routine for them. Nothing to worry about.

Nothing.

Just as he was falling asleep out of sheer exhaustion, the baby kicked off of his hip bone and turned over so violently that he snapped out of his drowsy state with a soft gasp. He resisted the urge to groan in annoyance when the usual rapid baby movements started in full swing.

 _For crying out loud, kid, can't you just sleep at night like a normal person?_ he groused inwardly.

Sleeping now would be out of the question. With a resigned huff, he struggled to a sitting position as quietly as he could, hindered by his belly pressing into his ribs. He finally managed to swing his legs over the side of the bed and reach for his robe. Only one thing ever worked when this happened.

He silently ambled around the room, paced from the bathroom to the window several times, took a trip to the toilet. The baby squirmed away, largely undeterred, kicking against his stomach.

Yuuri contemplated how mad the rest of the inn would be if he gave in to the urge to scream at the top of his lungs in frustration.

A flutter of white outside the curtains drew his attention, and he waddled to the window, moving the sheer fabric gently.

 _Oh_. A tiny, tired smile pulled at the corners of his lips. It was snowing. The street light was haloed by the falling flakes, and a good bit had covered the ground already. He exhaled a soft, warm breath onto the glass pane to fog it up, then drew a smiley face in the condensation.

He loved snow. What a nice birthday present.

 _That's right,_ he realized, cradling underneath his belly with one hand, _it is my birthday._ Twenty-five, as of today. Wow.

He never imagined last year that he'd be pregnant on his next birthday. Or ever, for that matter. He patted his protruding stomach. _You're a good present, even though you drive me nuts,_ he thought affectionately.

He paced for a few minutes more, immensely relieved to feel the baby starting to calm down. Oh, he couldn't wait to get to sleep, after he inevitably took a side trip to the kitchen, of course.

The covers rustled behind him, and he turned his head to see Viktor slowly sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes blearily. The static-filled bedhead he sported made Yuuri giggle softly.

"Everything alright?" Viktor mumbled through a yawn, eyes half shut. He slipped out of bed, swaying as he walked.

Yuuri nodded. "Fine. Baby's just super restless." He leaned his head to the side when Viktor slid his arms around his waist and buried his face in his neck. His sleepy body heat felt wonderful against Yuuri's back. "And I'm hungry. Gonna have to go eat something."

"I'll get it. Whatcha want," Viktor slurred through a groggy sigh.

"You're half asleep, honey." Yuuri craned his neck to kiss Viktor's forehead, earning a happy hum.

"Don't care. I'll go." Viktor's hands moved down to rub gentle circles into the sides of his bump. "What does our prince or princess demand."

Yuuri shook his head, smiling ruefully. "You know those thin protein breakfast biscuits? The chocolate ones?"

"Mmmm."

"A pack of those, please. They're in the top cabinet next to the refrigerator."

"Mm." Viktor drew in a slow breath through his nose, like he always did when he was trying to wake up. "Milk too? You drink milk with those."

Yuuri exhaled a soft, fond laugh, his lips tugging into a grateful smile. _Aw, he remembered…_ "If you don't mind."

"I wouldn't offer if I did." Viktor pressed a clumsy kiss to the side of his neck. "I'll be back."

Yuuri leaned back to peck his lips. "Thank you so much."

"Anything for my loves."

Plural. Yuuri's heart fluttered.

Makkachin's tags jingled softly as he jumped down from the bed, yawning, and followed Viktor out of the room. Yuuri couldn't help but smile at the sleepy duo. Makkachin loved Viktor so much. It made him miss Vicchan.

He walked back to the window to watch the drifting snow, a contented smile on his lips, despite the baby's constant wiggling.

The smile faded when he felt the pinch of a Braxton Hicks starting up, but it wasn't a bad one, he could already tell. _Thank goodness._ He parted his legs around his belly and eased down on the edge of the bed, closing his eyes and forcing a slow breath through his pursed lips as his uterine muscles pulled taut across his belly, drawing his breath short. He panted quietly and his body rocked softly back and forth of its own accord, knowing what it needed to do to ease the pain better than his mind ever could.

"Babe?" Viktor's soft voice reached his ears. He opened his eyes to find Viktor hurrying across the room, his brow pinched in concern, and Makkachin whined and jumped up on the bed beside Yuuri.

"I'm fine, it's just a little one," he said breathlessly, accepting the hand Viktor held out for him once he had set the glass of milk on the nightstand. He rested his forehead on Viktor's firm, muscled abdomen, and he felt cool fingers sift through his hair. He hummed out a long, quiet moan and closed his eyes, trying to rub some of the discomfort in his belly away. Sometimes being vocal and not stifling the urge to make noise helped get his mind off of the tightness.

Viktor's large hand cupped the back of his head, being infinitely gentle. "You're doing so well, sweetheart," his soft crooning caressed Yuuri's ears, and he couldn't help but smile through the discomfort, voicing an answering hum and rubbing his cheek on Viktor's stomach. At one time, Viktor would have flown into a panic when he had a contraction, like Yuri had at the NHK Trophy. Yuuri was proud of how much better he had gotten at keeping calm when this happened.

The contraction faded quietly away, and Yuuri took a deep breath and sighed it out, slipping his arms around Viktor waist and squeezing. "Thank you," he whispered, then leaned his head back to look up at Viktor and offer him a smile to let him know he was okay. "That wasn't bad at all."

The blue eyes filled with relief in the dim light from the window. "I'm glad. I don't like seeing you hurt."

Yuuri pressed his lips just below Viktor's ribs. "I know. But we're almost there. Just three more weeks." His heart sped up at the thought. Three weeks was an incredibly short amount of time. He had never felt so simultaneously ready and unprepared for something in his life.

"Oh, by the way." Viktor tilted Yuuri's head, cradling the back of it, and surprised Yuuri with an open-mouthed kiss against his lips. He relaxed into it, reaching up to trail his fingers down Viktor's jawbone, and when they separated, Viktor's eyes were shining with love. "Happy birthday, gorgeous."

Yuuri's cheeks filled with warmth. "You remembered."

Viktor pecked the tip of his nose. "Of course I did. How could I possibly forget the day Katsuki Hiroko blessed the earth with an angel twenty-five years ago?"

"Oh, you…" Yuuri buried his flushed face in Viktor's shirt. Viktor's amused, cooing chuckle made his heart turn a backflip.

"I'll never get tired of seeing that lovely, peachy pink on your cheeks. It's even prettier these days since you're carrying my baby."

"Hush," Yuuri mumbled, feeling even his ears burn.

"I only speak the truth." Viktor kissed the top of his head and climbed back into bed, and Yuuri eagerly ripped open the pack of protein biscuits.

As he munched on the chocolate biscuits and sipped the creamy milk, he tried to ignore the anxiety insistently picking at his heart as he saw the time. Two a.m. on the dot. _Five more hours,_ his mind whispered gravely.

 _Only five more hours_ …

-

The doctor's office was quiet.

The muted ticks of the antique clock on the wall seemed so loud in Yuuri's ears. He compulsively tapped the heel of his Vans on the grey tile, scrolling through his phone on a random pregnancy article, having not even looked at the title when he clicked on it. The second tab next to the one he was on lingered in his peripheral vision, titled 'cerclage removal support forum'.

His finger hovered over it for a few seconds before he closed it.

The baby was restless inside him, as they usually were when his chest was tight with anxiety. The movement wasn't abrupt and painful, at least. Just a lot of wiggling and shifting, little feet pressing into his stomach and bladder, like the baby couldn't find a comfortable position. They were _still_ head up. He was beginning to wonder if they were just too stubborn to turn and settle in the birthing position. _"Stubborn like mama,"_ Viktor had said on more than one occasion.

He rested his hand on the shelf of his belly and sighed. He was tired of being out of breath just sitting around doing nothing. After being in shape for so long because of skating diet restrictions, it felt wrong to get tired and breathless so easily. He wasn't looking forward to the intense training he'd be doing to lose the baby weight once he was up and about after giving birth.

Viktor's hand rubbed his knee absently as he looked down at his own phone. Yuuri was sure he could tell how wired up he was. Hell, he could probably _smell_ it. Yuuri hadn't been this anxious in a long time. Not since they had nearly lost the baby.

He was grateful for Viktor's strong, silent comfort. Viktor knew that small talk made Yuuri nervous, and so he was offering physical affection in place of it. Yuuri thanked his lucky stars that Viktor was so sweet and considerate.

His internal organs jerked when the receptionist called his name.

They were led back to a secluded, private room, and once the nurse took his vitals, she left with instructions for Yuuri to put on the gown that had been draped across the sterile examination table, and to sit tight and wait for the doctor. Despite the added worry of the ominously extended stirrups on the bed, Yuuri was pleasantly surprised to find that the short-sleeved tie-back gown was made of a soft, blue plaid cotton cloth, instead of the scratchy, uncomfortable paper gowns his previous doctor had offered.

"Turn around," Yuuri teased as he pulled the thin curtain in the corner closed around himself, "or you'll have to take responsibility."

"Oh. Whatever shall I do if that happens." The smirk in Viktor's voice was so tangible that Yuuri could practically see the amused crinkles next to his pretty blue eyes.

"You may have to _marry_ me."

_"Gasp."_

He snorted out a laugh. He pulled the sweatpants he was wearing off fairly easily, simply by stepping on the legs and pulling them down with his feet. He had been smart to wear slip on shoes and not to wear jeans, he thought as he patted himself on the back. The only thing he had a little trouble with was his underwear, which, Viktor assured him, he had no shortage of help getting out of.

Yuuri just threw his sweatpants at Viktor's face, unable to keep from giggling when the legs wrapped around his head and Viktor struck a dramatic model's pose and proclaimed how beautiful the latest fashion from Gucci was.

"You're such a goofball."

Viktor gave a dopey grin from behind his shroud. "I'm _your_ goofball."

Yuuri chuckled. "That you are."

He made quick work of getting into the gown, and Viktor helped him tie it in the back. Yuuri drew in a breath of surprise at the warm hands that slipped underneath the gown and gently squeezed both cheeks.

"Viktor," he half-laughed, half-scolded.

"I like your butt, what can I say. It's very nice."

"You can touch my butt later, silly."

"That better be a promise."

Yuuri just rolled his eyes fondly as Viktor helped him up onto the table.

His legs swung nervously of their own accord as he sat on the sterile paper that covered the table, cradling his big belly and feeling like he could jump several feet out of his skin. The flirty banter had distracted him, but now the anxiety was back in full force.

"I'm not ready for this," he whispered, furiously picking at his thumb cuticle. "It feels so…so final."

Viktor crossed his legs in his chair next to the examination table, his face open and his eyes curious. "What do you mean?"

"It's just…there's no turning back now. And not that I would want to, no, it's not that. I've just been…" Yuuri swallowed and ran a shaky hand through his hair. "This has really been eating at me, I don't…I'm sorry I haven't talked about it."

"You tell me things on your own terms, Yuuri," Viktor said softly, gazing up at him, "and not at second before. I'm always ready to listen."

The breath was becoming short in his chest, and his heart felt floaty, but not in a good way, like when Viktor kissed him. This felt…heavy and fearful.

"I'm scared," he wobbled out, and Viktor immediately murmured "oh, no, honey" and rose to his feet, stepping close to settle his warm arm around Yuuri's shoulders. He leaned into Viktor's chest, reaching to grasp his other hand. "I'm scared and it's so stupid."

"It's not," Viktor said firmly.

"I just feel like…so much has happened, in such a short time. It's all going by so fast, and I'm scared that…that…I'm not ready to be a mom. Little bean is going to depend on us for everything, and I-I want to be a good mom, but I'm so scared. What if we do something wrong? And what if I have to have a c-section, I don't—" his throat tightly closed around the words, and he hid his face in Viktor's jacket, hearing Viktor softly shush him and feeling him rock him from side to side. He pressed as far into the embrace as he could, rubbing his neck on Viktor's shirt in an instinctual effort to scent him. He heard the fabric of Viktor's shirt shifting, then Viktor's palm was gently massaging the side of his throat, covering him in his scent, and the calming effect it had was astonishing.

"Let's just see what the doctor says, and we'll go from there." Viktor kissed his forehead. "I know you're scared, baby. I am, too, to be honest. But it'll be okay. I'll be right here with you the whole time."

Yuuri nodded shakily.

He was so ready for this to be over.

There was a soft knock at the door, and when it opened, Dr. Fujita Maiko came through, smiling that softly wrinkled smile, followed by a younger nurse who would probably be assisting her. Yuuko had been right; Yuuri and Viktor both loved this doctor. She was an older woman in her late fifties, and her jet black hair was just beginning to gain strands of silver at her temples. Her eyes were so dark that they looked black, and her nose was petite and slightly hooked. She was kind and knowledgeable, and while Yuuri normally hated doctors, he felt incredibly at ease around her. He was glad they had listened to Yuuko's advice.

"Good morning," she greeted in Japanese in her wispy, calm voice. She didn't know any English, but Yuuri always translated her words for Viktor when she said anything important that he didn't quite understand. As she prepared her instruments and Yuuri tried not to hyperventilate, she kept a running stream of questions, the standard "how are you feeling, any changes, how often are your Braxton Hicks, any spotting or signs of labor," etcetera. Yuuri stifled the urge to whimper when he saw her pick up the longest pair of scissors he'd ever seen in his life, along with a much bigger speculum than they had used the first time. His body trembled.

The doctor sat on her low rolling stool and positioned herself at the foot of the bed, snapping the purple latex gloves on her hands. The sound made Yuuri flinch. "Lie back, Yuuri-san, and fit your heels in the stirrups for me, please."

He hastily obeyed, and Viktor sat on the edge of the bed next to him, offering his hand to hold without hesitation. Yuuri took it gratefully, tightly lacing their fingers together, and Viktor wrapped his arm around Yuuri's shoulders.

Dr. Fujita grasped the long-necked, flexible light attached to the table, aiming it between his legs, and gently touched his lower belly. "Okay, what I'm going to do now is open up your birth canal with the speculum, so I can examine your cervix, just like usual. Since this one is a bit bigger, it will burn and pinch and be a bit uncomfortable, but your body will adjust quickly. I'll go nice and slow."

Yuuri felt the cold metal come in contact with his skin and tried not to jump. _Stay still, or it will probably hurt worse._ The doctor opened the speculum and slowly spread it apart, and he drew in a sharp breath at the cold burning sensation. His birth canal was still new, and wasn't used to being stretched this far yet. The seconds crawled by, and it felt like five minutes before he felt the slight click of the speculum being locked.

"Everything looks nice and pink, no inflammation or redness, so that's wonderful. I can clearly see the end of your cerclage, as well." The nurse handed the doctor the sterilized scissors—good God, they were long—and she raised her head to give Yuuri a comforting smile. "It should be very easy to take out. Are you ready?"

"Just like that?" Yuuri asked in astonishment, "I figured it would be a much longer process than just…"

The doctor shook her head, amused. "A little snip and tug and you should be good to go."

"Well…okay, I'm ready, then." He still unconsciously braced himself for pain.

After a few seconds of nothing, he felt something cold and small against the back of his birth canal, and his heart skipped a beat. It wormed around on his cervix, then he felt a pop that he assumed was the cerclage snapping as it was cut. The odd sensation of it being pulled out made him wrinkle his nose, and suddenly, it was over.

Dr. Fujita held up the scissors with a triumphant smile, and from the tip dangled a small strand of transparent blue stitching with a knot tied in one end. "There you have it."

Yuuri's mouth fell open. "That's _it?"_

"That's it," she echoed.

He almost felt stupid. He had worried himself sick over _that_. How anticlimactic.

Viktor's arm tightened around him when he saw the stitching. "You did so well," he whispered into Yuuri's hair, excitement evident in his voice, and Yuuri reached up to halfway return the hug, his mouth slowly spread into a breathless smile of realization.

It was over.

The doctor set aside the scissors and cerclage, and Yuuri quickly spoke up.

"Is there any way I could...keep that? It's probably weird…"

"Not at all. I'll put it in a container for you to take home. Many people do the same thing, it's not unusual," the doctor said with a pleasant smile.

That tiny piece of stitching…

Yuuri flashed back to the day it had been put in. To all the pain and fear of losing the baby. If it hadn't been for the cerclage, he would have lost his baby that day, without a doubt. It had allowed him to carry the baby safely inside him all this time. Perhaps it wasn't weird to want to keep something that important, after all.

"I'm going to feel of your cervix now, to see how long it is." The doctor lubed two fingers and gently inserted them, but Yuuri hardly felt a thing. Compared to the speculum, this was a walk in the park. After some very gentle prodding, the doctor nodded her approval. "I think you're in the clear. Your cervix is nice and long, no sign of effacement in sight just yet." She pulled her fingers out slowly. "I would like you to keep taking the hormone therapy until you deliver, though. It will help your body continue building up a breast milk supply for the baby. If at any time your chest becomes too engorged, you can relieve the pressure by using a breast pump."

Yuuri's face flamed. "I-I'll keep it in mind." He quickly relayed the information to Viktor in English, who nodded in interest. It was all so fascinating to him.

"Now, you are spotting a bit," she held up her fingers and they were tinged with blood, "but that's perfectly normal after removing a cerclage. You'll only need to be concerned if the blood doesn't stop in a couple of days. You'll also have some regular discharge now, since your cervix isn't stitched up. The discharge should be clear, or slightly cloudy, and in your last couple of weeks of being pregnant, it may contain a little blood, and that's perfectly normal. If you see any other color than white, call us."

"Okay." Great, something else weird to look forward to…

"Other than your routine ultrasound, you're done for today. That wasn't so bad, was it?" Yuuri shook his head, his cheeks heating. "You'll be coming back tomorrow for a cervical checkup, to make sure you haven't dilated too much. After that, you'll be pretty much good to wait until delivery." She disposed of her gloves, washed her hands, gathered her paperwork, and stood. "If that's all, then go ahead and—"

"Wait." She stopped, and Yuuri fidgeted. "I, uh…I have a question…" he resisted the urge to glance at Viktor in guilt, but he knew he wouldn't understand the conversation fully anyway, since they were speaking Japanese. "If I'm still feeling alright by December tenth…there's…my fiancé has a skating competition in Nagoya that day. How smart would it be to take a train there? For me, I mean. It's a five hour trip."

The doctor paused. She shuffled her papers on her clipboard, reading silently. "You're thirty-seven weeks today," she finally said, "That would put you a few days away from thirty-nine weeks at that date." She let out a soft sigh. "It will depend on a few things, Yuuri-san. We still have to check your amniotic fluid index today, and your dilation tomorrow. An index of twenty-five or over is very dangerous for the baby. If your fluid has gone up at all, or if you've dilated past five centimeters by tomorrow, we may have to deliver the baby early via cesarean. If not, we'll see."

Yuuri's stomach dropped into his toes. "R-right. I'll just…I'll ask closer to the date, then. Sorry for being a bother."

"You aren't at all." She gave him a sympathetic smile. "You can go ahead and get dressed and meet me in the next room over when you're ready for the ultrasound."

"Okay." Yuuri's shoulders slumped. He had wanted to know now.

The door clicked shut, and Viktor sent him a concerned look. "What was that?"

"I asked about the competition, and she mentioned my fluid again." Yuuri leaned his head on Viktor's shoulder, rubbing his knuckles nervously. "I hate this. I don't want a c-section."

Viktor's lips met his forehead. "I know, _solnyshko_. I know…"

With Viktor's help, he quickly dressed and they went to the next room, where the doctor was already waiting. Yuuri laid down on the examination table and pulled up his shirt without prompting, and she readied the ultrasound machine without a word.

 _Please_ …

As the doctor drew the large plus sign on his stomach with a washable marker to divide it into four quadrants, his heart was fluttering faster and faster, pulse thumping in his neck, that slightly queasy feeling of floatiness rising in his chest again.

She squeezed the gel onto each quadrant, turned the machine on, and began to measure. Occasionally, she would squint at the screen and write on her clipboard.

Yuuri's eyes pricked with tears. He tried to keep his rapid breathing quiet, but Viktor obviously noticed his anxiousness. He slipped his arm behind Yuuri's back and pressed his mouth to the top of his hair. His breathing was a bit labored, as if he, too, was close to tears and trying to hold them back. Yuuri heard him praying hoarsely in Russian, and he caught the words "God" and "mercy", over and over.

It seemed like hours before the doctor spoke again, but when she did, she was smiling. Yuuri held his breath.

"Well, I can't guarantee that it will stay this way, but your AFI has gone down a good bit. It was twenty-four at the last visit, but it has dropped to just under twenty, which is just barely over the threshold of polyhydramnios. If it stays like this, you'll be able to proceed with a natural birth without any problems."

A gusting sigh of relief left Yuuri's lips, and when he translated for Viktor in a shaky voice, Viktor's arms tightened around his shoulders. He hid his face in Viktor's arm and squeezed his eyes shut against his tears when he heard Viktor whisper "thank you, God". The doctor's lips were relaxed in a soft smile. She had probably seen this sight hundreds of times in her life. Yuuri wondered how many of the pregnancies she had watched over were high risk like his, and how many had ended in sadder circumstances than this.

"Now that we've determined that…" the doctor tapped her keyboard for a moment, then picked up the tube of gel again. "Let's take a look at that sweet baby."

Yuuri reclined back into the pillows, feeling Viktor's hand slip into his own and lace their fingers together, and enjoyed the rest of the time they spent watching their baby roll around in his womb.

His heart felt so much lighter.

-

Viktor took Yuuri out to eat at one of his favorite restaurants for lunch afterwards as a birthday present, and he found himself unwinding and relaxing in a way that he hadn't in a long time. Without the weight of worry and dread on his back, he was finally able to properly enjoy himself. They talked and laughed in a snug, secluded corner of the restaurant and ate the delicious noodles, meats, and vegetables from the ramen bowls they ordered. Yuuri was a bit embarrassed by just how much he had to eat to feel full, but Viktor just leaned his chin on his hand and smiled fondly, gazing at the baby bump.

"Little bean was hungry, mama."

Since Yuuri was feeling pretty good, after they ate, they strolled the snowy streets of Hasetsu, hand in hand, leisurely window shopping instead of taking a cab back to Yu-Topia. Viktor had seemed reluctant to go home yet, and Yuuri didn't mind. He was probably getting a bit stir-crazy, having already used up his two practice days this week. He needed the fresh air and the quality time with Yuuri. The downtime did seem to be helping his knee, though, he wasn't in constant pain anymore. Yuuri was so glad for that, he hated seeing the hurt in Viktor's eyes when he talked about his knee.

Many of the stores already had Christmas lights up, and the colors from them were merrily reflected on the snow. It felt very cozy, despite the chill in the air. Yuuri loved the holiday season, it always made him feel nostalgic. They stopped at a coffee vendor and got two mocha lattes, one being decaf for Yuuri and the other caffeinated for Viktor, and the warmth that spilled through Yuuri's torso as he sipped the coffee was as delicious as the drink itself.

Once a few snow flurries began to drift from the blue-grey sky, though, they headed for home. Viktor seemed satisfied and ready to leave, so maybe his itch to get out and about had been scratched for a little while. Yuuri had really enjoyed it, though his back was beginning to protest.

They ambled down the sidewalk in the direction of the onsen, seeing families outside playing in the snow, or putting up their Christmas lights. A few people waved to Yuuri, calling out Japanese greetings, and an older couple sitting bundled up on their porch wished him a happy birthday.

"You're awfully popular," Viktor teased, giving the arm that was slipped through his own a gentle squeeze. "No one has given me any special greetings."

Yuuri huffed out a laugh that came out in a cloud. "Yes, they have. Most of them just don't know your name. A couple of people even greeted you as my husband."

"Oh." Viktor sounded so surprised. His cheeks turned pink from more than just the cold, and a contented little smile settled on his lips that made Yuuri's heart sing. "I guess I need to study my Japanese more." He looked up at the snow falling around them. "Have you had a good birthday so far?"

"Oh, yes, it's been…" the word 'good' was on the tip of Yuuri's tongue, but it somehow didn't feel like a good enough descriptor. He rested his hand on his belly through his coat, an affectionate smile relaxing on his lips. "One of the best I've ever had, thanks to you. And you," he added softly down at his baby bump, "even though you make me tired sometimes." The baby had apparently gotten tuckered out by showing out at the doctor's, because they were sound asleep against his right side.

Viktor wrapped a warm arm around Yuuri's shoulders and pressed a quick, delighted kiss to his cold cheek. "That makes me so happy to hear, _solnyshko_."

The onsen loomed around the corner, and Yuuri's brow creased in slight confusion. The strings of blue and white icicle Christmas lights that his father and Mari hung from the eaves of the onsen every year were up, as well as the ones hanging over the entrance and the corded white lights that they wrapped around the lamp posts. When they had left, everything had been bare.

"Looks like tou-san and Mari have been busy while we were gone," he noted. Viktor offered a hum and a raise of his eyebrows as he sipped his coffee.

"They're pretty. The blue reminds me of your exhibition skate costume."

"Mm. One of my favorite colors."

Viktor reached up to tap one of the strands of lights that dangled over the door as Yuuri slid it open, taking curious note of the "closed" sign. The lobby beyond was curiously dim, but what was in the foyer was much more interesting.

A wide, shit-eating grin stretched across a tanned, handsome face greeted him.

Yuuri sputtered uselessly for a moment at the out of place sight before he regained his sense. "Phichit?" Joy rose in his heart. "What are you—"

Phichit held up one hand, and Yuuri trailed off. "Viktor told me not to startle the daylights out of you and break your water early or some shit, sooo here's your warning, okay? We're about to surprise you, so get ready!"

Yuuri blinked rapidly. "Um…okay?"

The lights beyond Phichit slowly brightened, and a barrage of muted pops went off, scattering blue and silver confetti all around that landed in his hair.

"Happy birthday, Yuuri!" The voices sang in unison.

Yuuri's mouth fell open, and before he could stop them, tears filled his eyes and he covered his mouth.

Amidst the softly glowing Christmas decorations (that had definitely not been up before they left) and the messily-scrawled "happy birthday Yuuri" banner that was held up by the triplets, many familiar faces beamed back at him. His parents and Mari, Yuuko and Takeshi and the triplets, Minako-sensei, Yuri and Otabek? Minami? _Christophe?_ And Phichit, of course, who was still grinning like the cat that got the canary. How on earth...?

A sound that was a mixture of a laugh and a whimpering sob spilled from Yuuri's lips, and he was instantly mortified that something as simple as this had set off his "oh, look, time to cry" meter. Phichit, always knowing just what to do, wrapped him in a hug and patted his back, and Yuuri buried his face in Phichit's shoulder, unable to stifle his tears.

"We wanted to do something for you and little bean, and your birthday seemed like the perfect time," he heard Christophe soothe, and felt a pat on his back from Viktor.

"Oh, my God…" He leaned back from Phichit and sniffled, taking his glasses off to wipe away the smudges and tears. "How long have you been planning this?" He managed to warble out, voice shaking like a leaf. His heart felt like it could burst.

"Uhh…" he turned to see Viktor stuff his hands in his pockets nonchalantly. "A few months?"

"Since you found out you were pregnant," Yuri spoke up bluntly from one of the cushions on the floor. Yuuri was surprised to see that his cat was curled up in his lap, snoozing away.

He shook his head. "Wow. So you were distracting me the whole time after the appointment," he playfully accused Viktor, who whistled off-key and glanced off to the side in feigned innocence.

"As soon as you slid the door shut and left, we jumped out of hiding and started putting up decorations." Yuuko cut Yuri a sly glance. "Yurio-kun nearly fell off the roof."

"The woman sits on a throne of lies," he rebutted without missing a beat.

No wonder the decorations had gotten put up so quickly. His parents had eight extra pairs of hands.

"How in the world…I mean…" Yuuri shook his head again, still trying to catch up. "…when did you all get here?"

"Last night," Otabek answered, taking a sip of his tea. "We arrived one by one, so it wouldn't be suspicious. Viktor and your parents helped us sneak in around you, to make sure you wouldn't see us."

Yuuri glanced at his mother and father, who were practically glowing. "You knew about this, too? I guess you would have had to, since they all stayed the night…"

"Oh, I suggested it," his mother said cheerfully, adjusting her round glasses in a smug, satisfied way, and Yuuri made another incredulous noise. "The rooms they stayed in have been booked for them for months."

"Good grief…"

"We planned meticulously," his father said with a smile, "We wanted to make it special."

"We hope you don't mind that it's a two-in-one birthday party slash baby shower," Phichit said sheepishly, "it was originally supposed to just be a birthday party, but we just couldn't leave the baby out. And we hadn't thrown you a baby shower yet, so…"

Yuuri caught sight of the wrapped presents beneath the Christmas tree in the corner of the lobby, his heart fluttering in surprise. They had planned a baby shower _and_ a birthday party?

He looked back at Viktor. "I have a feeling this was your idea."

"Who," Viktor said, pointing to his terrible poker face. "Me? Never."

"It was all his idea," Minami provided in a stage whisper.

Yuuri turned away from the others, reaching up to cradle Viktor's face in his hands. He leaned up, only a bit hindered by the baby between them, and gave Viktor's lips a sound smooch. "Thank you," he whispered when he drew back, seeing that Viktor was blushing rather profusely. Yuuri didn't kiss him in front of other people very often.

The "awwww's" from behind him made him turn back to the others, blushing a bit himself. "I'm not kissing all of you," he grumbled, and everyone laughed. "But thank you all so much for this." A chorus of "you're welcomes" answered him.

"Well, sit down, sit down," his mother ushered them to one of the couches, and everyone went back to their own seats, "I have to get back to their kitchen, but you should open your presents. I already know what you're getting for the most part, and they're wonderful gifts."

As Yuuri sat down, he was pleasantly bewildered.

 _I can't believe this_.

He didn't usually like stuff like this, but…he couldn't help but feel special and loved. He had never had a surprise party in his life, they had always just had quiet birthday parties with the family, eating cake and reminiscing. So many more people were a part of his life now, thanks to Viktor helping him open up to them.

He was surrounded by love. He and Viktor both, and their baby, as well. He was a little sad that it had taken him twenty-three years to fully realize it, but he was going to spend the rest of his life making it up to them.

The rest of the afternoon was full of laughter and merriment, and Yuuri kept having to step back in his mind and marvel that they had managed to plan so much and still keep him so oblivious. Apparently, even more people had meant to be there, Mila and Georgi and Yakov and Lilia, but Mila and Georgi both had competitions that Yakov and Lilia had to attend, so they were reluctantly absent. They had, however, all sent gifts along with Yuri and Otabek.

Oh, the gifts. So many things.

Nearly everyone had gotten them diapers along with their other gifts, but his mother emphatically assured him that there was no such thing as too many, and yes, they would use them all. He couldn't help but feel a little intimidated by that.

Mila's gifts were a tiny, pale yellow pair of baby booties, a blanket, and a diaper bag that she had knit herself, all out of the softest yarn Yuuri had ever felt, with cute little ice skate appliqués sewn into one corner of each. She had obviously poured a lot of time and effort into them. The diaper bag was full of stuff from both her and Georgi: pacifiers, bottles, various cloths and baby wipes, he could barely name them all. He'd definitely have to thank them.

When he came to Chris' present, Chris tapped his leg and shook his head.

"Open that one in private," he said quietly, and Yuuri was vaguely horrified for a moment before Chris explained that it was just something of a personal nature. (Which didn't make him feel much better, honestly.) He had also gotten Yuuri a gigantic, U-shaped pregnancy pillow, and Yuuri couldn't wait to try it out.

Phichit's present made him burst into gales of laughter.

"How perfect," he giggled, holding up the miniscule blanket and hat. The blanket was cone-shaped and patterned to look like a waffle, and the tiny sock hat was mint green and decorated with chocolate chip designs. "My own little waffle cone."

"I couldn't resist making the hat mint chocolate chip when I came to the customization screen." Phichit patted Yuuri's baby bump. "Now you'll always remember how crazy your kid was about a flavor you hate so much."

"Gee, thanks," Yuuri joked, "you wouldn't think it was so hilarious if you were woken up in the middle of the night for it like I have been these past few months."

Next came a set of bedding for the crib from Minami, which Yuuri was astonished to find was printed with the same blue and pink poodle print that adorned his phone case. He had no idea how they had swung that, but he decided not to think too deeply about it because it had probably been expensive to customize. Minami gave a beaming grin when Yuuri thanked and hugged him, and Viktor ruffled his hair in a fatherly way that made Yuuri smile.

"This way, it doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl," Minami declared, "because it has both colors!"

He had a good point.

Otabek gave them a basket stacked with baby books that his mother had helped him pick out. Tucked into one of the books, in flowing gold ink Kazakh script, she had written Viktor and Yuuri a note, congratulating them on the baby and wishing them all the best. (Otabek had gladly translated for them.) Yuuri was touched that she had taken the time to personally write them when she didn't even really know them. How kind of her.

Minako's and the Nishigori's gifts consisted of a gift certificate to a spa for a massage and a box full to the brim of baby supplies that Yuuko had gathered from around her house. He had protested a bit at the latter.

"What if you want to have another baby someday?" He asked, but Yuuko just burst into a stream of laughter that was a tiny bit crazy, and Takeshi made cutthroat gestures behind her.

"You're a scream, Yuuri," was all she said.

The tears returned when he opened Lilia's gifts. A beautiful green and blue plaid sling to carry the baby close to his chest, and a vintage matching stroller that had to be from when Lilia was a young woman. The note she wrote him had him hiding his face in his arm to regain his composure.

_Even though I was never able to use these, I'd like you to have them. The little one you carry needs them more than I do. ~Madame Lilia Baranovskaya_

When Viktor read the note, even he had to wipe away a tear.

"She loves you," Yuri mumbled, suddenly finding his cat's fur very interesting. "She never says it in words, but I know she does. I'd consider myself lucky that she doesn't hate you. She doesn't like very many people."

Otabek gave him a perplexed look. "Awfully honest today."

"Don't touch me, shit like this makes me weepy," Yuri deadpanned.

Yuuri reached to let Pyocha sniff his fingers, and she did so curiously, her wiry whiskers brushing his knuckles. "Why did you bring your kitty, if you don't mind me asking?" Satisfied that he was friendly, she rubbed her head against his hand, and he smoothed it down her soft fur.

"I'm staying til the final."

"Oh. Good." Yuuri smiled. He liked having Yuri around, even if he was a curmudgeon sometimes. There was never a dull moment. "Hope she gets along with Makkachin."

"Oh, they're best buds already," Viktor said amusedly, "Remember when we went to Skate Canada and Makka stayed with Yuri? He came home covered in cat fur. They love each other. He'd probably be in here laying all over her if he wasn't stalking your mother in the kitchen."

Yuuri could smell something delicious and familiar on the air already. He had protested when his mother told him what she was making, but she hadn't listened.

_"A baby is practically a medal, Yuu-kun. You can break the rules just this once. Besides, meat is good for growing babies."_

Probably wasn't as good for the little map of stretch marks on his side, but he didn't have the heart to refuse. The thought of eating katsudon after so long made his mouth water in anticipation.

The final gift made his eyes widen. He hadn't even noticed the extra chair next to the glowing Christmas tree in the corner, but once Yuri lazily heaved himself to his feet and yanked the blanket that covered it off, his mouth fell open.

A rocking chair. It was made of gorgeous mahogany, with intricate designs carved into the head and arms of it.

"Yuri, I…" for the first time that day, he was speechless.

"The kid will need rocking, this will fulfill the purpose. Don't you dare cry."

Yuuri hastily wiped the tear from his cheek, having not been aware that it was there. He hadn't expected such a thoughtful gift from Yuri, of all people. It warmed his heart.

During a rise in the conversation around them, Yuuri gave Yuri a quick hug, and was pleasantly surprised when it was returned without hesitation.

Soon after the presents were all opened, his mother brought trays laden with bowls of steaming katsudon out for everyone, and Yuuri's eyes nearly filled with tears _again_ at the smell. It brought back so many memories of skating competitions past.

The only difference now was that he wasn't eating it alone.

For half a second, he had worried about how his taste buds would take it since the baby hormones had changed a few things around, but that fear melted away with the first delicious bite of pork and rice. He moaned out a happy sound as he ate the tender meat, and he didn't even notice Viktor leaning close.

"I hope you make such sexy sounds later in bed," he whispered, barely audible, and Yuuri nearly choked.

Viktor innocently patted him on the back while he coughed and spluttered and reached for his water, brightly telling their worried friends that Yuuri had just swallowed the wrong way when they sent him wide-eyed looks.

Yuuri coughed and winced at the burn in his chest, face flushed from exertion and the baby making their displeasure at the loud noises from mom known with tiny feet dug into his side. When he had recovered enough to talk, he narrowed his eyes at Viktor, whose pinkened face and big, liquid blue eyes were the picture of cherubic innocence (and probably an indication that he was a tiny bit tipsy from the saké Minako had procured out of nowhere for the adults).

Since they were in a corner and no one was really watching anymore, Yuuri leaned close and hooded his eyes, reaching around and slipping a hand under Viktor's shirt in the back. The warm skin was smooth against his fingertips, and Viktor shivered.

"Maybe I'll just make sure you're the loud one this time," he whispered roughly against Viktor's scent gland, and just as easily as he had leaned in, he drew back as if nothing had happened, serenely picking up his chopsticks and resuming eating.

He could _smell_ Viktor's blush, and he basked in it.

Soon, it grew late. Most of the guests were jet-lagged and growing tired, so Yuuri caught everyone's attention, trying not to fidget when all eyes were on him.

"You guys don't know how much this meant to me. To be honest, I felt…kind of underprepared, as far as stuff for the baby went, but now, we have more than we could have ever asked for. Your gifts were all so thoughtful, and I'll…I'll remember this day for a long, long time. It was one of the best birthdays I've ever had." He looked down at his hands, rubbed his chapped knuckles. "So…thank you all so much."

"We were glad to do it, hon," Minako assured, patting his shoulder with a slightly clumsy hand. She always had been a touchy, lovey drunk. "M'glad you had a good time." Mari subtly reached for and hid her shot glass and saké bottle.

"I'm glad I finally got to visit this place," Chris said, looking around the lobby with a smile, "it's the most warm, comforting inn I've ever stayed at." He turned back to Yuuri's mother and father. "Thank you for your gracious hospitality." He gave a respectful nod, and the others echoed his thanks. Hiroko's round cheeks turned pink with happiness, and she patted Chris on the back.

"You're all welcome to come any time. Any friends of Yuuri's are children of mine."

When the time came to say good night to everyone, Yuuri was wrapped in a group hug, with people on all sides and Viktor in the middle with him, protectively shielding his belly from being too squished. The love in the air was a tangible thing, warm and wonderful, and Yuuri's eyes filled with tears.

"I love you guys," he whispered, and his words were echoed back with equal fervor. He felt the baby kick outward against Viktor's belly, and he knew Viktor had felt it, too, because he gazed down at the baby bump between them with that soft, sweet look in his eyes that was reserved for the baby alone.

They bid everyone goodnight and retreated to their room with Chris' ominous present in tow.

As Viktor slid their door shut, Yuuri plopped the box on the bed and sank down next to it with a sigh. He was a little reluctant to open it, and Viktor had obviously caught onto that, because he climbed into the bed with Yuuri and crossed his legs, drawing the present into his lap and delicately separating the tape that held it together.

"If it's a dildo, I'm smacking him awake with it at four tomorrow morning," Yuuri muttered, and Viktor laughed.

"I don't think he'd do—well. I don't think he'd give one as a baby shower gift, anyway." He got all the wrapping paper off and tossed it aside to clean up later, and they both stared silently.

Yuuri regained his sense first. "That's, uh. That's a breast pump," he stated.

"Is that what it is?" Viktor looked at the box from all angles. "Wow."

"Wow is right. These things are expensive." Yuuri's first impulse was to be embarrassed. This _was_ a personal gift. It would have embarrassed the hell out of him to open it in front of everyone else. He briefly hoped that Chris hadn't meant anything dirty by it, but then realized that he had told Chris a few weeks ago that he was planning on breastfeeding. He ran his fingers along the cardboard of the box, his face softening. No…this was a very sweet, considerate, thoughtful gift. With this, he could have a supply of milk in bottles for the baby, in case he and Viktor ever had to be away from the baby and needed someone to babysit. He could even use it before the baby came, if his chest got to feeling too uncomfortable.

"I love it," he murmured. "It's going to be really helpful."

He felt Viktor's arms slip around his waist. "He's a good friend, and he loves that baby so much already. He doesn't seem like the type at face value, but he's great with kids." His cold nose met the back of Yuuri's neck. "Did you have a good birthday?"

"Mm. It was everything I could have asked for."

"Everything?" Viktor's hands slipped beneath his shirt to rest on the sides of his belly, and a shudder traveled down Yuuri's spine at the warm breath on his throat. "I haven't given you my present yet."

Yuuri inhaled slowly, eyes widening a fraction. Something deep in his lower belly stirred, something eager and warm that sent a shiver up through his torso, settling in his chest and swelling in anticipation.

"Now, be honest with me," Viktor mumbled against his neck, hand traveling farther up on his belly and leaving goosebumps in its wake, "if you're too tired for this, we can wait till t—"

"No," Yuuri uttered in a rush of breath, quickly reaching to thread his fingers through Viktor's and hold his hand against his belly, "I'm not, I…I want to." Heat poured into his face. It had been several weeks since their last time, and he wanted it badly.

Teeth gently scraped the shell of his ear, accompanied by a puff of warm breath that smelled of saké and Viktor, and it made him tingle down to his fingertips.

"May I undress you?"

Viktor's question took him a bit off guard, but he swallowed, heart hammering faster in his chest.

"Only if I can undress you back."

He felt Viktor's breath catch, and a surprised, pleased chuckle tickled his ear. Elegant, slender fingers took hold of the hem of his long-sleeved shirt, which had already been pushed up over his belly, and carefully pulled it up. He raised his arms to help, and when the shirt passed his head, his hair stood on end and crackled from the static. He smoothed it down, grumbling.

"I need a haircut."

"But it looks nice like this." Hands laid on his shoulders and turned him around, and Viktor ran his hand through the mess of dark hair on his head, his eyes bright with adoration. "It's so soft and silky. Just the right length."

"Really? You like it like this?" Yuuri closed his eyes and smiled when Viktor kissed his cheek.

"Very much. But I like all of you, so I may be a bit biased." The blue of his irises caught the light from the lamp, greens and golds dancing in the pools, looking Yuuri up and down. "Every part of you is a work of art."

A disagreement was on the tip of Yuuri's tongue, but it was silenced by Viktor's lips claiming his own. His shoulders relaxed, his eyes slipped shut, and he reached to rest his hands at the sides of Viktor's throat, rubbing his scent glands with the tips of his fingers as their tongues slicked hotly against each other. Viktor tugged Yuuri's bottom lip between his teeth, burying his hand in the back of his hair and curling his fingers. Yuuri could taste arousal in the air between them, spicy and heavy.

They broke apart, and Viktor's shining lips trailed a line of wet kisses down his throat, down his sternum. He knelt down in front of Yuuri and tilted his head to the side, to fit his mouth between his thighs and the bottom of the baby bump. Teeth gently scraped against Yuuri's erection straining through his pajama pants, and Yuuri had to grab his shoulders for balance, a gasp of surprise bursting from his throat at the tingling contact. His pants and underwear were slowly slid off, and Viktor's expression abruptly changed.

"You're bleeding."

Yuuri's heart jolted for half a second, then he relaxed. "It's probably just spotting from this morning. Hand me a tissue." Viktor complied, and Yuuri gently patted the blood-streaked discharge away, seeing that it wasn't much at all, and tossed the tissue in the trash can. He stepped out of the pants, kicking them off of his ankles, and Viktor stared up at him with glistening eyes.

" _Solnyshko_ ," he breathed, strained, "my love, you are…so very, _very_ beautiful." He ran at hand over his face, looking almost tearful. "God, I'm the luckiest man alive."

A little prick of insecurity jabbed at Yuuri's insides. He didn't see how Viktor could possibly think that, with how big he was now. He rested a hand on the tight, firm side of his stomach, looking off to the side with furrowed brows, and Viktor made a noise of displeasure.

"I can see exactly what you're thinking, you know."

"Viktor, I'm _gigantic_." He held his belly in both hands, still incredulous of the size of it. "I'm so fat, I look like I swallowed a watermelon."

Viktor shook his head slowly, rising to his feet. "Oh, Yuuri. Baby, you are so wrong." He leaned close, cradled the baby bump in his arms. "This isn't just fat, and it's certainly not a watermelon. It's our _baby_." Viktor ran his hand over Yuuri's side, tracing the stretch marks he despised. "You carry our tiny, precious child in your womb, nourishing them with your body, keeping them safe and warm until they're ready to meet us." His eyes were sad. "Is that not amazing to you?"

Yuuri's eyes filled with confusing tears, and he inwardly cursed himself for saying anything and ruining their tender moment. One of the tears fell down his cheek, plipping onto his stomach and rolling down the side.

"Of course it is," he whispered, leaning forward to rest his forehead on Viktor shoulder. "It's just…it's hard to feel attractive o-or sexy when I'm this big. It has nothing to do with the baby."

"Well, I can tell you this." Viktor's serious tone made Yuuri raise his head. His blue eyes were unexpectedly hot. Intense. "Seeing you like this…" he licked his reddened lips, searching for words. "You're no less sexy to me now than you've ever been. Quite the contrary. You're…soft. Sweet. You smell ridiculously good, Yuuri, you have no idea." He pressed a kiss to Yuuri forehead. "You're still the gorgeous, sensual Yuuri that I fell hopelessly in love with, and you're still so far out of my league that I wake up every day wondering how on earth I got so lucky."

"You've got that completely backwards," Yuuri muttered, blushing, but Viktor held his fingers to his lips. Yuuri couldn't resist the temptation to kiss his fingertips.

"Let's talk about it some other time. Right now, I want you to feel good. It's your birthday." He set a hand on his hip and pouted. "And I believe you promised to undress me, and yet I remain woefully clothed, while you get to be free and naked. That's not one bit fair."

Yuuri sniffed and shook his head, smiling. "Of course." He shoved his insecurity to the furthest, most cobweb-covered corner of his mind that he possibly could. They hadn't had sex in weeks, dammit. He was going to enjoy this.

Once he had slowly, teasingly stripped Viktor and left a few hickies in clandestine spots, they climbed onto the bed, and Yuuri took the most comfortable position he could; on his elbows and knees, a pillow beneath his low-hanging stomach, and his ass in the air. He snuggled his cheek into the pillow and hummed a sigh through his nose when he felt warm, lubed fingers circle his entrance, smearing through the hot slick he had begun secreting.

Viktor was meticulous. He worked Yuuri open with tender twists and spreads of his fingers, brushing his prostate in just the right way to make Yuuri's breath hitch. His other hand lazily cupped Yuuri's cock, giving him gentle strokes that had him thrusting down into the contact as best he could. His ears burned at the sound and feel of Viktor's slick fingers inside him. The soft, wet noises sounded so dirty.

His back abruptly arched and the breath was yanked from his chest when he felt the molten hot flick of a tongue against him.

"Viktor—!" he hissed out, face blazing. Viktor's lips sealed over him, tongue delving deep and circling his walls, and just like that, he went from quiet, lazy pleasure to _squirming_ and _pleading_. It felt so filthy and depraved that he whimpered and bit his fist, but he leaned his hips into it, encouraging Viktor to do what he wanted.

And oh, he did.

Viktor edged him so many times that he lost count. By maybe the fifth or sixth time he was denied orgasm, he distantly knew he probably looked like a hot mess. His hair fell over his forehead, sticking to his damp skin. His cheek was flaming against the cool surface of the pillow it was pressed into, and at this point, the heat simmering beneath his skin had spilled down the sides of his face to his neck and chest. Viktor's fingers were alongside his tongue now, and the _noises_ it made were utterly sinful. His prostate was thoroughly attended to, and the massaging and prodding of Viktor's fingers, coupled with the heat from his mouth, had Yuuri's eyes rolling and his toes curling. He panted openly, sweating and shaking, not even concerned with the line of saliva that escaped the corner of his mouth. His cock dangled against his lower belly, rock hard and so hot that it burned, drooling a steady ooze of precum that trickled down his belly.

He felt Viktor working him up slowly again, pleasure boiling up from his pelvis deep into his stomach, and he turned his head to give Viktor a borderline glare out of the corner of his eye.

"If you don't let me come this time, I swear to God."

"Oooh, feisty. Come on, we both know you can come more than once. Or can't you, after getting this desperate?" Viktor asked smugly, punctuating his words with a sharp prod against Yuuri's prostate, and a strangled, punched-out grunt worked its way up his throat, eyes slamming shut.

"P-please," he panted out, knees spreading apart further, though he was careful to hold himself up off of his belly with his elbows. His spine arched, quivered. His heart pounded rapidly against his ribs. He was so close, ohh, God, he could taste it— "God, Viktor, please let me come!" He begged in a hoarse whisper, voice whistling with restraint.

Viktor's mouth pulled away for a couple of seconds, and Yuuri nearly screamed, but then it was back, hot and wet and so, so dirty, and his legs trembled violently beneath him at the downright savage rubbing on his prostate. It was _right there._ "Please, please—" His back pulled tight of its own volition and his head fell back, eyes going wide and face pinkening in surprise as the waves of pleasure that had been cresting and waning for what felt like hours finally, _finally_ came crashing down through his belly and thighs, and he positively lost his mind.

It seared through him like an electric current, unrelenting and powerful, crippling. His mouth hung open in ecstasy, a shocked, mewling noise escaped him, and his eyes crossed beneath his lids, struck dumb with pleasure. He quaked and jerked and moaned helplessly, shuddering along with his rippling insides, feeling his release dribble down his belly. Before it could hit the bed, it was whisked away with a tissue.

He collapsed to the side as carefully as he could with his brain turned to slush, still twitching and shaking through the aftershocks, and he felt Viktor's hands gently caressing his sides, his legs. Kisses dotted his skin.

"You have no idea," he heard the words panted out through clenched teeth, "how hard it was not to come from watching that. God, Yuuri, you're obscene and I love you." He looked down through half-lidded eyes to see Viktor's fingers clamped around the base of his red, swollen cock and his messy, silky bangs brushing his flushed cheek. He looked nearly as wrecked as Yuuri felt.

"You're," he croaked, then cleared his throat, shifting to get more comfortable, "you're going to hurt yourself, sweetheart, come here." Viktor crawled up next to him, wincing as his cock bobbed against his thighs, and Yuuri licked his lips at the sight. "Lay down on your side, facing me. Put your hips between my legs, rest your side on my thigh…"

He had seen this sex position on one of the pregnancy forums he frequented, and he had been eager to try it. Missionary was virtually impossible now because of the strain it put on his back, but this was close.

It took some maneuvering, but they got into the position without too much trouble. On their sides, facing each other, their bodies forming a V. Their legs were overlapped just so, to give Viktor easy access and room to thrust, and they found it to be quite comfortable. It was almost like the missionary position, just lying on their sides, and no painful twinge in Yuuri's back.

Viktor shuddered out a sigh when he slid his cock into Yuuri with ease, and Yuuri drew in a slow breath at the stretch, but Viktor paused once he had bottomed out, breathing heavily, his thighs shaking. "Give me a minute," he whispered, and Yuuri reached to brush his bangs off of his hot forehead.

"Take all the time you need," he murmured, tracing his fingers down Viktor's jawline, down the strong tendons in his neck. He brushed one pert, pink nipple with his thumb, and Viktor's pale eyelashes fluttered. "I'll just enjoy watching my beautiful present." He snuggled his cheek in the pillow with a comfy sigh, feeling Viktor's hand rub over his side. "I love the way your eyes get all watery and hazy when you're inside me. It makes them seem even more blue."

Color burned high on Viktor's cheekbones, and one corner of his mouth lifted in a breathless laugh. "You're so sweet," he whispered, still panting, reaching to cradle Yuuri's face in one hand, and Yuuri turned to kiss his palm. "I treasure you, _solnyshko_. I only wish I could adequately tell you just how much I love you. I feel like nothing I can say will ever be enough..."

Yuuri ran his hand up the elegant curve of Viktor's side, stopping with his palm over his heart.

"Then show me instead," he whispered back.

Viktor's eyes lit with quiet passion, brilliant blue shining.

After that, their movements were no longer desperate. They made love softly, the rolling of Viktor's hips gentle and steady. Their hands explored each other's faces, their bodies, mapping out their love for each other on their skin. The words between them grew few; instead, they gazed into each other's eyes, russet brown lasering into baby blue, communicating in a silent way that only they could. Yuuri felt the hum of energy between them clear as day, pulling their hearts together, firmly cementing the invisible bond between. He was unsurprised that he was already hard again, and he languidly stroked himself in time with the tender drag of Viktor in and out of him. It sent delicious, hot-cold shivers of pleasure through his belly.

For the first time, they kept eye contact as they came. Yuuri's breath caught at the intensity of it, watching Viktor come unglued before him, seeing the tears pool in his blue eyes and the flare of color in his cheeks as his expression scrunched and his mouth dropped open, he hunched his back, and his abdominal muscles rhythmically tensed and relaxed over and over beneath Yuuri's belly. Yuuri felt the heat inside, and with a skilled twist of his own wrist, he was coming into his fist, softer this time, a quiet, radiant release of sensation that had his own brows knitting. He grunted at the clamp of his muscles around Viktor, but he refused to close his eyes. With his other hand, he reached up to cup Viktor's soft cheek, and Viktor's hand found his face as well as they rode out their pleasure together.

They lay panting softly, afterglow settling over them like a warm blanket fresh from the dryer. Viktor's eyes fluttered shut, and a drowsy smile pulled at his lips.

"Yuuri," he murmured, "that was some of the best sex I've had in my life."

Yuuri sighed out a long contented breath, his hand drifting down to rest on his belly. "Same here. It was…a lot."

"Too much?" Viktor asked in concern, resting his hand over Yuuri's.

Yuuri shook his head slowly, blinking to keep himself awake. "No. It was perfect." He traced Viktor's features with one finger, marveling at how pretty he was for the hundredth time in his life. "It was an amazing birthday present. You're so good to me, honey. I love you so much." His face heated at the words. Maybe one day, he could say them without blushing every time.

"Oh, sweetheart. I love you, too." Viktor leaned to kiss him as best he could with the bump pressed between them, but it was a glancing contact with so much space keeping him away. "You know, Yuuri, I don't know how to tell you this, but I think something has come between us," he said with a straight face.

Yuuri burst into snickering laughter, and Viktor's soft, melodious laugh followed him.

-

Late that night, close to midnight, once they were showered, warm, and tucked under the covers with Makkachin at their feet, they spent their quiet time at they always did, feeling the baby kick. Viktor's fingers traced the little lumps on Yuuri's bare belly with that same awestruck fascination he always had, like he couldn't believe that their baby was so close, only a few layers of muscle away.

Yuuri was propped up on his side, cuddled against the pregnancy pillow Chris had gifted him, and it was _so_ wonderfully comfortable. Chris really knew how to give useful presents. Yuuri was pleasantly surprised at his thoughtfulness.

"You're going to be so incredibly beautiful," Viktor was crooning against his belly, pressing kisses to the baby's limbs as they stretched against his uterine walls, "oh, I hope you look like mama. He's so pretty and sweet, little bean, you have such a good mama. He can't wait to have you out of his tummy so you can be with us."

Yuuri chuckled, then forced out an "oof" when the baby kicked their little feet into his ribcage. "You can say that again."

…feet in his ribcage?

He felt around on the underside of his belly, and he was almost certain that the baby was head down. His chest rose with hope. Maybe they'd stay that way. Another kick upward made him groan.

"I may have to get up and walk around," he huffed, "they won't calm down. They like your voice too much to sleep…"

"Aawwww," Viktor gushed, wrapping his arms around Yuuri's thighs and nuzzling the bump, cooing affection spilling from his lips like it was second nature. "My sweet little sugarplum, Daddy loves you so, so much, yes he does. Aah, I want to kiss your cute little nose so bad, but stay in mama's tummy for just a little longer, okay? We want to make sure you're as strong and healthy as you can be, lovie…"

Yuuri struggled to a sitting position, grateful when Viktor sat back and helped pull him up. "You're not helping, you know, egging them on like that. I'm getting kidney-punched here."

"Sorry, I just love the fact that they can hear me. It's amazing to feel them respond." Viktor pulled him to his feet. "I have an idea, if you're not too tired."

"Ahh, no, not really. Which is shocking. What do you have in mind?"

Yuuri was confused when Viktor led him to the lobby, the dim room lit only by the Christmas lights. They reflected off of his glasses, the multitude of colors mixing into hazy pinks and oranges against the floor and windows.

"Viktor…?"

Viktor turned back around to face him. "We never did get to dance properly at the last banquet, you know."

It was true. Viktor had been so surrounded by eager sponsors and reporters that he hadn't had the time. Yuuri had been so jealous.

Yuuri caught on to what he was suggesting and self-consciously rested his hands on his round belly, fidgeting with his thumb. "Viktor, we can't dance like this, I'm too big," he protested weakly, "the baby will be in the way, you won't be able to get close enough to wrap your arm around my back."

"If you turn sideways and press your belly against mine, I think it will work." Viktor held out his hand with a rakish grin. "May I have this dance, Yuuri Nikiforov?"

Yuuri's face broke into a soft smile, and his stomach thrilled at the name. He took Viktor's hand and bowed slightly, and once Viktor put a pretty piano [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j12JaARZYBc) on the phone in his hoodie pocket, they cuddled close. The side of Yuuri's belly ended up pressed to Viktor's abdomen, and Viktor's strong arm held him around the shoulders. Their other hands joined, Yuuri tucked his forehead under Viktor's chin, and they fell into a slow, easy rhythm, swaying around the room to the soft, sentimental sound of the piano.

As they danced, their baby wiggled between them, pressing on mom and dad, letting them know they weren't truly alone. It was a strange thought, to Yuuri, to think that they wouldn't have each other all to themselves in a few short weeks. The baby would need their undivided attention. He found himself…not as sad about that as he used to be. They had waited so long to meet the child they had created together, and Yuuri was so ready to finally be able to see them somewhere other than on a computer monitor.

He just hoped that he'd be a good mom.

He had to lean on Viktor through a false contraction, fisting his hand in his long sleeved shirt and groaning at the pain and pressure he felt. With the baby head down now, it set him on edge so much more without the cerclage in place. But, he reasoned with himself, he supposed he was being silly. The baby wasn't just going to fall out of him, after all. It would have to be pushed out, and it would take a lot of work. The thought made his spine tingle in fear as the contraction ebbed away.

"Penny for your thoughts," Viktor murmured in his ear once it was gone, and he shook his head.

"Just…thinking of the baby." He tightened his fingers on Viktor's lower back. "And just…all of this. It's been…one of the hardest, but best times of my life, and I really mean that. I'm ready for it to be over, but…at the same time, I'll miss it terribly."

Viktor's lips caressed his forehead. "I sort of know what you mean."

He decided right then that he needed to voice the desire he'd been keeping quiet for a long time.

"Would you…" Yuuri bit his lip. "Would you be opposed to…to maybe, like…in a few years, I mean, after we're both retired…maybe t-trying for another?"

Viktor made a noise of surprise. "Would _you_ want that? I know how hard this has been on you, baby."

"I…I think maybe I would." Yuuri's lips pulled into a watery smile. "I don't know…it's probably too early to be thinking of that right now."

"I wouldn't be opposed at all, if it's really what you want." Viktor kissed his hair, trailed his fingers on his back. "I always did think two children was a good number."

Yuuri's chest fluttered. "Same here."

"Let's see if you think that after having the baby," Viktor chuckled, "you may never want another one."

"Ooh, boy. Even thinking about pushing this baby out of me is scary." Yuuri drew in a breath and let it out in a nervous laugh. "But…I'm getting more ready by the day. I didn't know it was possible to both dread and anticipate something so much."

He felt the pull of Viktor's smile in his cheek, pressed against his forehead. "I'll be right there with you, honey. I know you can do it. You're incredibly strong."

Yuuri's heart felt so full. "You've been so wonderful these past eight months," he murmured, rubbing his cheek on Viktor's chest, over his thudding heart. "I don't know how to ever repay you."

"You're already repaying me, Yuuri. You're giving me a family." Viktor drew back slightly, looking down into his eyes, and the tender look on his face made Yuuri's eyes well up. "Something I've wanted ever since I met you." He kissed Yuuri's temple. "I can't wait to meet our baby."

Yuuri drew in a shaky breath and leaned up to plant a kiss on Viktor's lips.

"We don't have to wait much longer," he whispered.

Viktor cradled the underside of Yuuri's stomach in his hand, their baby's head fitting perfectly in his palm.

"We don't."

Despite the discomfort. Despite the emotional trauma. Despite the fights. Despite sometimes feeling like he was one contraction, one backache, one crying fit away from breaking into pieces…

Despite all of that…Yuuri was still so glad he was here.

And he wouldn't trade it for a hundred gold medals.

As he swayed in Viktor's arms with their baby between them, warm, content, _loved_ , he marveled at his good fortune.

_Thank you, God._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist sticking a little homage to the first victuuri one shot I ever wrote in there at the end. It's been over at year since I wrote it, and I still can't believe it's been that long! I had so much fun with this chapter, it made me feel warm <3
> 
> I just want to say, thank you all so much for your sweet messages, comments, and asks! You've made this year so wonderful for me, and I look forward to writing more for you in the new year!
> 
> Next chapter: some fluff, some anxiety, and the Grand Prix Final looms!
> 
> Until next time! ♡


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! (/^_^)/ 
> 
> Just a quick note: yes, I know that Yuri's cat's name is 'Potya', but I've elected to spell it as 'Pyocha', which is how it's spelled in katakana. I just think it looks cuter that way, lol.
> 
> Also: from this chapter on out, there may be some things here and there that some people may find a bit gross. Pregnancy is beautiful and miraculous, but it can also be kind of...icky. :P 
> 
> No other warnings for this chapter!
> 
> I hope you enjoy! <3

 

 

When he had watched the color seep from Yuuri's face in that tiny Hasetsu emergency room eight and a half months ago, Viktor had been consumed by insurmountable, nauseating dread. The second that the word "baby" had been mentioned, his mind had ground to a halt, unable to process past the simplest, and most complicated, two syllables in the English language. A word that he never thought they'd hear under such circumstances.

He hadn't even _wanted_ the baby for a few minutes immediately after they had found out, because of how distressed and hysterical Yuuri had been. Something that held that much sway, that had the power to make Yuuri feel so helpless…he hadn't wanted it.

Now, he couldn't even recall beyond a detached feeling of "oh, hey, that did happen, I forgot" what on earth it felt like to not want their baby, to resent it. To wish it hadn't even happened. Seeing the raw, pure love on Yuuri's face when their child moved in his womb had changed that completely.

With every heartwarming smile that graced Yuuri's face when the baby kicked and squirmed, he seemed even more beautiful than before to Viktor.

Even though he was constantly exhausted.

There was never a time now that the soft skin beneath Yuuri's eyes wasn't marred with the shadows and lines of tiredness, or that there wasn't an ever-so-slight pinch of discomfort on his brow. When he walked, he shuffled, his posture tense with the effort of holding up the burden he carried. His movements had changed a lot over the past several weeks, Viktor noticed; he moved slowly, cautiously, sometimes wincing as he did, as if it hurt just to move around. It was odd to see, after seeing him perform jump after graceful jump on the rink for so long, his form lithe and slim. His hand was almost always underneath his stomach, taking some of its pulling weight off of his back and shoulders. And sadly, there wasn't a day that went by anymore that he wasn't battling false contractions, some of them so tight and uncomfortable that they left him sweating and shaking and nauseated.

Once, they had thought he was in labor.

He had been having intense Braxton Hicks steadily every five or so hours over the course of two days, and they had seemed to be falling into a pattern and getting closer together. In the throes of a particularly strong contraction, he had gotten so nauseous that he had thrown up, and that was enough to worry every single resident of the onsen to death. They had rushed him to the hospital after he had five contractions in two hours, but after a quick examination, he was sent home with a diagnosis of false labor under his belt.

The doctor had been pleasantly puzzled that he was barely dilated at all, due to his history with cervical inefficiency and the increased chance of mothers going into early labor soon after having a cerclage removed. So far, Yuuri's cervix was only about a half centimeter dilated and a very small percentage effaced. The hormone therapy was doing its job, keeping his cervix from prematurely thinning until he went into actual labor.

The contractions had ebbed away over the next few hours, spacing back out and becoming weaker again, and Yuuri had been frustrated beyond words, disappointed that the baby wasn't coming yet.

Viktor had been, as well. They had both gotten their hopes up.

In the past few weeks, through firsthand experience (or in more accurate words, several minor heart attacks), Viktor had learned that there were some downright _bizarre_ symptoms of pregnancy.

Like when he and Yuuri had been calmly sitting at the kotatsu, sipping tea with everyone after lunch, and Yuuri had kept sniffling and swallowing and blinking confusedly, his mouth twisted in a grimace. Viktor hadn't thought anything of it until Yuri had paled and yelped in the middle of a word, backing up in his seat and pointing; eyes wide, Yuuri was scrambling for a napkin to catch the small waterfall of blood that had suddenly streamed from his nostrils.

"I wondered why I was tasting blood," he said weakly, coughing and spitting into the napkin. Viktor and Yuri had been appropriately alarmed until Hiroko gently explained that nosebleeds were just another of the many symptoms of pregnancy, though definitely one of the stranger ones.

Or the time that Yuuri had been sitting cross-legged on the bath mat after their shared shower, drying his hair and chatting normally with Viktor, but when he pulled himself to his feet with Viktor's offered hand, his face went bloodless and he trailed off in the middle of his sentence, swaying like a branch in the wind. His eyes crossed slightly, lost their focus, and rolled back into his head.

With sheer reflex and instinct, Viktor caught him before he crumpled into an unconscious heap on the bathroom floor.

Viktor's heart slammed into his throat and immediately burst into a rapid, panicked beat, and he hastily lowered them to the floor, cradling Yuuri close, though it wasn't easy with his knee like it was. Yuuri was heavier than he used to be, and the dead weight of his unconscious body would have sent Viktor to the floor with him had his veins not been pumped full of adrenaline.

"Yuuri, wake up," he commanded, voice shaking, patting Yuuri's deathly pale cheek. God, his lips were as white as paper. But he was coming around, and rather quickly, thank goodness. His hazy brown eyes blinked rapidly, and he looked around, bewildered, shaken, head wobbling as if it were hard to hold up.

"How…how did we get on the floor…?"

Viktor had never made it to a hospital so fast in his life.

Thankfully, it was determined after a few tests that Yuuri had simply stood up too quickly, something that many expectant mothers did without knowing that it could bottom their blood pressure out and make them dizzy enough to faint.

It had taken Viktor a while to recover from that one.

One morning, the day before Yuuri had hit thirty-eight weeks, they had still been lazing in bed, unwilling to get out from under the warm comforter. Yuuri had stretched, arching his back and squeezing his eyes shut cutely, a seemingly normal situation that Viktor certainly didn't mind waking up to every morning. Then, mid-yawn, he had seized up and let out a ragged cry of pain so raw and panicked that it had felt like a bucket of electrified water to Viktor's sleepy brain, throwing him into action.

"What? What? Is it the baby? Is it time?" He asked frantically, hands hovering over Yuuri's writhing body, heart squeezing in pity at his pain-warped features, clenched teeth, and gasping breaths. Viktor had never seen him twist and cry like that, he had to be in agony. Was that normal for early labor? Oh, God, what if something was wrong?

Just when he was about to jump up and scoop Yuuri into his arms for another frenzied drive to the hospital, Yuuri gave an unsteady shake of his head, coughing out moan after moan of pain, and Viktor finally calmed down enough to noticed that he was clutching the back of his thigh in a death grip.

"L…leg cramp," he managed to grit out, and Viktor nearly fell over backwards in relief. Leg cramps could be horribly painful, but at least it wasn't labor. He helped Yuuri massage the cramp away, having done it for himself countless times, but it still left Yuuri whimpering and sore, poor thing.

As if he didn't have enough sore spots to deal with these days.

Exhausted by all of the ridiculous things his body was subjecting him to, Yuuri spent most of his time resting now, and that gave Viktor plenty of time to spend with him, just…talking. About everything under the sun. On the five days out of the week that he didn't practice, he did his stretches and went for a run in the mornings, then spent the rest of the day curled up next to Yuuri in the bed.

They learned so many things about each other during those close, quiet chats. Favorite ice cream flavors, pet peeves. Childhood fears and insecurities. Odd talents and favorite music. It felt like they were truly getting to know each other, even after all this time; they had never just sat down and talked about themselves like this. It felt so intimate, and Viktor loved it. It was convenient, too; this way, he could be ready at Yuuri's beck and call in case he needed something.

Yuri accused him of spoiling Yuuri rotten. Viktor didn't even try to argue with him.

He _deserved_ spoiling, Viktor reasoned. His body had been drastically, massively changed throughout the last nearly nine months, reshaped by the baby in his womb that Viktor had helped create. Every time he glanced at Yuuri's swollen belly, a little thrill of mixed emotions shot through him: joy, pride, sympathy, admiration. Never a shortage of awe.

That was his baby in there. _Their_ baby.

They were so incredibly close to meeting them, and yet, somehow, it still seemed infinitely far away.

 

-

 

_38 weeks_

 

Yuuri shook his head in disbelief, staring at his reflection in the mirror and wondering how on earth the human body could stretch so far and still function properly, much less sustain both his own body and nourish a baby.

He was _huge_.

He unraveled the tape measure and wrapped it around his waist at the biggest part, and his eyes nearly bugged out when he came up with a circumference measurement of fifty and a half inches. He was _fifty inches around._

Of course, some of that was excess fluid, which was thankfully hovering right around twenty still, but good grief. No wonder he felt like a damn wrecking ball. He briefly mourned the loss of his slim, trim waistline. It was going to be hell to get back.

The door slid open softly in his peripheral vision, and padding, sock-covered footsteps drew near. He tossed the tape measure onto the dresser with a sigh, and comforting arms slid around his waist, wrapping him in warmth.

"Don't let it get you down," Viktor whispered, kissing behind the shell of his ear and sliding one hand down to cup his stomach, "little bean is healthy and strong."

"Yeah," Yuuri sighed. "That's the important thing. I'm just not a fan of these." He poked the little map of mauve stretch marks on his left side, glaring down at them darkly. "I guess I got lucky with this few, but I still don't like them. They'll never completely go away."

Viktor breathed out a rueful hum that tickled the side of his neck. "At least you don't have as many as Yuuko did, poor thing."

Yuuri winced sympathetically. "Very true." A few days ago, Yuuko had shown them a picture of her bare, thirty-three week belly, the day before she had been induced and the triplets had been delivered, and her skin had been absolutely covered in deep, dark stretch marks, like a lightning storm on her belly. She still carried them today, but she was actually quite proud of them, calling them her 'battle scars.' She told Yuuri they made her feel strong, and he could completely understand that. Successfully giving birth to healthy triplets (vaginally, Jesus Christ) was an admirable feat, to be sure.

Viktor had a point, maybe one small spot of stretch marks wasn't so bad, after all. Maybe he should look at it more like Yuuko did: a permanent reminder of his pregnancy that he'd carry with him forever.

When he turned away from the mirror, another sharp, shooting pain zinged up through his pelvis from his crotch, and Viktor let out a noise of surprise and caught him as he stumbled and gasped. He winced and exhaled a long sigh, reaching down to rub the offending spot. _God_ , it hurt so badly. Like he had been struck in the crotch by a cattle prod, sending an electric shock vibrating up through his bones.

"Here," Viktor gently took his elbow, helping him limp to the bed, "you shouldn't be standing, it makes it worse."

He was right. The pressure of the baby's head on Yuuri's pubic bone was definitely increased when he was standing, as opposed to lying down. Hell, even sitting was getting painful, if he sat on too hard of a surface. The nerve pain zapped him at random times when he walked, most often when he lifted one of his legs, and it always made him jump and suck in a startled breath when it happened. Unfortunately, the doctor had apologetically informed him that it was normal this late in pregnancy, so there wasn't much that could be done about it. He had to have help stepping over anything, especially getting in and out of the bathtub or the onsen. A scary slip and near-fall had decided that for him, and he didn't have room to argue.

He didn't have room for much of anything these days, aside from the baby camping out in his innards, but that was beside the point.

He sank down onto the bed, tightly shutting his eyes and letting out a shuddering exhale at the flaring ache that spread through his pelvis from his crotch. Holding his breath, he turned on his side, supporting his belly all the while with one arm to keep its weight from jerking him around too rapidly. The baby's hands pittered against his wrist, as if they were grabbing for him through the walls of his belly, and he couldn't help but give a half smile at the contact. He pulled the pregnancy pillow close, tucking it under the side of his belly and gingerly lifting one leg over as well, though the stretch of his leg made his breath catch in pain. It felt like the bones of his crotch were held together by mere rubber bands, and they were being pulled to the limit.

"I can't believe I ever wanted the baby to stay head down," he whimpered, massaging the inside of his thigh near his groin, "this pressure is horrible. I can barely lift one leg without wanting to cry."

Viktor's face was sympathetic, but then he brightened and held up…whatever it was he was holding. A sock?

"Your mom said this might help. It's full of dry rice, she heated it for you. Like a mini heating pad."

"Oh?" Yuuri curiously took the offered sock, feeling the squishiness of the hot, uncooked rice inside. He slipped it between his legs, pressing it to the rightmost side of the bone underneath his crotch, where the majority of the pain was at the moment, and his eyes fluttered shut at the soothing heat that molded around him and seeped down to his nerves. "Ohh, yes…that feels so good," he sighed out. The mattress dipped as Viktor eased down on the bed, rubbing his hand down the length of Yuuri's thigh.

"I'm glad. Is there anything you need? Hungry, thirsty?" So eager to help. It made Yuuri prickle with guilt.

"I'm a little thirsty, but you don't have to—" Viktor's silent, deadpan look stopped him mid sentence, and he smiled meekly. "Some orange juice sounds nice, if you don't mind."

"Of course I don't mind." Viktor raised an incredulous brow. "But I thought you were never drinking orange juice again?"

Yuuri grimaced at the memory that instantly came flooding back. Orange juice had been one of the only things he could halfway keep down during the first trimester when his morning sickness had been really bad, but when he couldn't, it had tasted _horrendous_ on the way back up.

"Don't ask me, it's what your baby wants," he said wryly, "if it were my choice, I'd never look at it again." He snuggled down further, rubbing his cheek on the pillow and breathing in the scent of it. The pillow hadn't smelled much like either of them for the first few days of having it, but now both of their respective pheromones were laced into the fabric. It made him feel very safe and warm. "So yeah, orange juice I guess, I'm kind of craving it. Hopefully it won't be forcefully leaving me this time."

His words earned a heart-shaped smile and a wink. "Your wish is my command."

Yuuri hugged the pillow and peeked over his shoulder as Viktor left, a bashful smile on his lips and butterflies in his stomach. _He's so sweet._

No one was perfect, but in the past few weeks, Viktor had, admittedly, gotten very close to it. Yuuri had lost count of the times Viktor had given him foot rubs and back massages to soothe his pain, or gotten up to get him something to eat or drink in the chill of night. Sometimes, if Yuuri was craving something they didn't have at the onsen, he even had to run to the twenty-four hour convenience store down the block at ungodly hours of the morning, but he did so without any hesitation or complaint whatsoever. _"The night air is good for me,"_ he would joke, slipping his coat on over his pajamas for the cold, snowy trek.

Every night, for the doctor-alloted thirty minutes, Viktor accompanied Yuuri to soak in the steaming waters of the hot spring. He suggested that they do it after hours, to save Yuuri some of the awkward looks and questions he still sometimes received, and Yuuri rewarded his thoughtfulness with as many kisses as he could. They made the most of the limited time each evening, cuddled as close to each other as possible under the piping hot water, enjoying the intimacy and the ambience of the soft lights from above. The heat soothed Yuuri's countless sore muscles, especially when Viktor gently rubbed any of the painful spots for him.

His sex drive had dropped off considerably in the past week or so, something he wasn't exactly thrilled about (even though Viktor hadn't minded one bit when he had finally confessed to it), but in those quiet, clandestine moments they shared in the onsen, with the steam curling around them and their bodies wet and naked against each other, he found himself struggling to beat back the flush of lust that rose on his cheeks. Seeing Viktor's soft, supple skin and silky hair glow golden and godlike in the light from the paper lanterns, his broad chest and shoulders speckled with glittering water droplets, sleek muscle pulling and flexing…

Well. Penetrative sex in the onsen may have been out of the question, but a quick, clean blowjob every now and then certainly wasn't.

Revenge was sweet. Even now, the memory of it made his gut tingle.

He rested his hand on his side, rubbing his thumb over the bump of something sharp that had risen through his skin. Maybe an elbow? Couldn't be a foot; it was too low, and from the heavy pressure in his lower belly, he knew for a fact that the baby was still head down, as they had been for several days now. At least it was a bit easier to breathe with them so low. Makkachin scooted close from the end of the bed, rubbing the side of his head on Yuuri's belly and gazing up at him in adoration, and Yuuri reached to stroke his fluffy ears, prompting him to slowly close his eyes in a sleepy blink.

"Sweet Makka," he crooned, "you love your baby? Yes you do, you love little baby bean so much. Such a good boy." Makkachin's floofy tail contentedly swished against the bed. Yuuri couldn't wait to see his reaction to the baby once they were born. They would have to monitor him around the baby while they were still tiny, Makkachin was a big dog after all, but he knew Makkachin would be careful. He was gentle to a fault with Yuri's petite, fluffy cat. Yuuri hadn't seen them fight even once.

Viktor's camera shutter snapping drew his attention, and he huffed a laugh.

"Viktor," He sighed in mock annoyance, "Don't you ever get tired of taking pictures of me?"

"Goodness, no. I'll never have enough pictures of you," Viktor stated, pocketing his phone and handing Yuuri the glass of orange juice with a lopsided smile.

"Mm. Thank you." He sipped the tangy liquid, squinting up at Viktor over his glasses. "How many pictures are in your 'Yuuri heart emoji' folder? Just out of curiousity." Viktor opened his mouth. "And don't you dare deny its existence, I've seen it over your shoulder."

"Drat." Viktor clasped his hands behind his back and rocked on his heels. "Uh…a lot?"

"How many is a lot?"

"About…twelve hundred or so. But that's altogether," Viktor added quickly.

A grin pulled at Yuuri's lips around the straw. "Altogether?"

"Well, I have a folder of just you, and a folder _inside_ that folder of your pregnancy so far." Viktor scratched his chin, obviously trying hard not to grin. "That's about six hundred and fifty pictures by itself, but, mind you, I'm still adding to it."

Yuuri shook his head in disbelief. "Phichit would be so proud."

"Hey, someone has to document it." Viktor sat on the edge of the bed, and his playful expression turned soft and thoughtful. "I figured…one day, you'll want to look back on it and remember everything that happened, you know?" He smoothed his hand up Yuuri's belly, rubbing in a gentle circle around his navel. "You won't be pregnant for much longer."

A little flutter of anticipation and nervousness danced through Yuuri's chest. It was such a strange concept, to think that the tiny person that had been living and growing inside him for so long would finally be joining them in the outside world.

It was thrilling, and frightening.

He rubbed the side of his stomach, gazing down at it, watching how it shifted in place from the baby's movements. "I guess there are parts that I'll want to remember, yeah. Mostly feeling the baby move, and watching other people feel the baby move. Especially you and Yuri." He let out a soft laugh. "He told me the other day, when no one else was around, of course, that he's kind of scared to hold them once they're born, because he's never held a baby before."

"Aww…" Viktor's face melted into a fond smile. "He'll be fine once he does it a few times. It's not hard at all. Besides, as soon as I say 'if I can do it, you can', he'll get all competitive and insist on holding them to prove he can do it better than me." They both laughed, then Yuuri took off his glasses and reached for Viktor's hand.

"Come here," he said softly, "lie with me for a while."

And Viktor did, gladly. He snuggled up to Yuuri's back and draped an arm over his chest, being careful not to squeeze too hard, and drew him close, burying his face in his neck. Yuuri could tell Viktor was breathing in his pheromones, purposefully rubbing his nose against Yuuri's throat to draw the scent out so he could indulge. According to him, Yuuri's scent had changed yet again lately, into something subtly sweet and nectary, as opposed to the former, more spicy nature of the smell. Yuuri couldn't really smell it too well for himself, but Viktor assured him it smelled nice. _"Like home,"_ he had said simply.

He ended up drifting off to sleep, hardly noticing the suspicious fluffiness curl up next to his stomach.

 

-

 

When he woke up, he was very warm, right on the brink of being unpleasantly so. Viktor's breath was puffing softly on the back of his ear; he was still chest to back behind Yuuri, one leg thrown over his own legs and his arm dangling across Yuuri's chest. He smiled softly. He knew Viktor rested best when he had something to hug while he slept.

His belly was unusually warm as well, and that made him look down in slight confusion. When he saw the reason for the warmth, he breathed a quiet laugh through his nose and smiled tiredly. Pyocha was curled up against his upper belly, fluffy tail hiding her face, while Makkachin's head was snuggled against the lower half. No wonder he was so warm, he had two little radiators sleeping with him.

Well, two little furry ones and one big human one. Viktor always did give off a lot of heat in his sleep.

He petted Pyocha's fluffy head, scratching behind her toasty brown ears, and she stretched and sleepily kneaded her paws on his belly, tiny mouth widening in a yawn and revealing sharp kitty teeth. It was unusual for her to be anywhere besides in Yuri's room. He must not have returned from practice yet. Perhaps she got lonely.

Oh, boy. When Yakov had learned Yuri had decided (without his or Lilia's permission, of course) to take a "work vacation" in Hasetsu until the Grand Prix Final, Yuuri had thought that Yuri's cellphone speakers were going to shatter into thousands of pieces from the sheer volume of the screaming.

Yuri had been very nonchalant about it, retorting that "Viktor did this kind of thing all the time when he was younger", prompting a surprisingly stern lecture from Viktor himself not to follow in his rebellious footsteps.

Yuuri didn't think Yuri listened to most of it. He was already sporting a relatively new gleaming silver bar pierced through two places in his ear cartilage, an 'industrial', he had told Yuuri the technical term for it was. Between that and the gigantic middle finger that was his short program, it was obvious that rebellion was definitely one of his goals.

Though somehow, the piercing suited him, and Yuuri had made sure to tell him so. Yuri had failed to hide how much it pleased him.

He watched the snow fall outside the window, smoothing his hand down Pyocha's head and back, and he could feel the steady, comforting vibration of her happy purring through his belly. She slowly closed her minty green eyes, completely trusting. He wondered if being pregnant was what drew her to him; she had never been quite this affectionate toward him before the baby.

His phone buzzed softly with a text on the nightstand, so he picked it up and unlocked it, squinting at the screen.

_< <have you seen my cat, i can't find her anywhere and i'm wondering if she got outside_

_> >She's in our room, all comfy and cozy. Curled up in a little ball next to my bump._

_< <…really_

Yuuri sent a quick snapshot of the cute spectacle for proof.

_< <wow. she doesn't usually warm up to strangers that easily. guess she likes your weird pregnancy smell or some shit_

_> >Probably. Wanna come get her?_

_< <nah, she's happy there so just leave her. i'll just put her back in my room later_

_> >Alright._

Yuuri set the phone back on the nightstand and waited silently for a moment, hand hovering over his belly and breath shallow in anticipation, but the baby stayed still. Perhaps the wintry weather was making them sleepy, as well. On days like this, he just wanted to lie in bed all day and nap.

He snuggled his cheek into the pillow and heaved a long sigh.

Just two more days, and they'd be traveling to Nagoya by bullet train to stay in a hotel, five hours away from home, for the Grand Prix Final.

Despite their compromise, Yuuri could tell Viktor was still a bit antsy about being so far from home. At this point, Yuuri felt surprisingly calm about it. He had exhausted nearly every worried bone in his body by now, to the point of feeling downright apathetic about when the baby would be born. Little bean would come when they wanted to, and worrying about it wouldn't make them arrive any faster or slower. _"Babies do things on their own time,"_ his mother had comforted him on more than one occasion. He had technically been full term for a week now, so he no longer had to worry about giving birth to a premature baby. He was so thankful for that load off of his shoulders.

He closed his eyes and drew in a deep, slow breath. As much as he hated to, he gently moved Pyocha and coaxed Makkachin off of him, then carefully extracted himself from Viktor's octopus-like embrace to slowly sit up. Certainly not because he wanted to, but because his stomach had abruptly dropped and filled with dread, the now-familiar calling card of a false contraction. He was glad, at least, that he got some warning most of the time, though the ones that gave warning were usually a lot worse than the ones that blindsided him out of nowhere.

He crossed his legs underneath himself and grabbed a pillow, leaning over onto it, pressing his stomach to the bed and half supporting himself on his elbows so it wouldn't be too squished. The burning, aching tightness slowly spread across his lower belly, locking his uterine muscles taut, and he hung his head and closed his eyes, resting his forehead in one hand and panting.

 _No, not panting. Don't pant._ He forced himself to breathe properly; in through the nose for four seconds, then out through the lips for four seconds. His throat tightened around a quiet moan, and he squeezed his eyes shut tighter and swallowed. His thumb compulsively cracked his knuckles on one shaking hand, trying in some unconscious way to take his mind off of how sick he suddenly felt.

A warm hand touched his back and he started at the contact.

"Do you need the trash can?" Viktor's sleepy, concerned voice came to his ears.

He considered for a moment, then shook his head with a jerk. "I don't think so," he mumbled tightly, "but…grab it just in case…"

The bed dipped and Viktor appeared in front of him, rumpled and flushed from his nap and small bedside trash can in hand.

With Viktor's hand rubbing his back and soft, loving words of reassurance caressing his ears, he rode out the contraction, rocking his hips from side to side, puffing and whimpering and struggling not to let anxiety wrap its sharp-clawed fingers around his heart. Viktor's fingers sifted through his hair, and tender kisses were pressed to the top of his head. He couldn't help but smile faintly through the discomfort.

"Thank you," he whispered, and Viktor's warm lips met his temple in reply.

He slowed his breathing gradually when he was sure the contraction was ebbing away for good. Viktor wiped his damp forehead and kissed it softly, tucking his hair behind his ear.

"Well done, love," he whispered, setting the trash can down and rubbing Yuuri's shoulders. "I'm proud of you."

A weak smile pulled at the corner of Yuuri's mouth. "You're going to make a good birthing coach," he sighed, accepting Viktor's help in sitting up. He grimaced at the strange feeling between his legs.

"I'm hoping so." Viktor's eyebrows knit in a frown as Yuuri's back straightened and his face fell blank. "What is it?"

"I think I'm feeling wetness," Yuuri said urgently, and Viktor's eyes grew large. He scrambled for his glasses and struggled to get out of bed as fast as possible, and Viktor hastily helped him. Something cold and fearful had snaked around his neck, but it was also tinged with excitement.

He hurriedly waddled into the bathroom, legs still weak and quaking slightly from the contraction. When he got to the toilet, he yanked his sweatpants down gracelessly, modesty the last thing on his mind, and snatched a few squares of toilet paper to check.

"Well?" Viktor wrung his hands from the doorway. "Did your water break?"

Yuuri's shoulders drooped when he saw the viscous bloody show on the toilet paper, and the mostly dry absorbent pad in his underwear. "No…" he finally sighed, "just more discharge." Viktor's face fell a bit as well, but he still smiled, rubbing Yuuri's back as he wiped himself clean. Oddly enough, Pyocha and Makkachin had followed him, with the former flopped on his feet and the latter gazing up at him adoringly.

He was _not_ going to miss this part of pregnancy. He hadn't realized how lucky he'd been to have his cervix stitched for most of it. The thick, sticky discharge that came at the oddest times was really beginning to annoy him, but it apparently just meant he was healthy…or something. He chose not to think too deeply about it. It was normal, according to the doctor, and that was good enough for him.

He tossed the toilet paper into the toilet and flushed it, unable to keep from frowning in disappointment. He had genuinely thought it might be baby time, and it was a real letdown that it wasn't.

Again.

"I wish I could just…go ahead and have the baby before the Final," he grunted, struggling to bend around and pull his underwear and sweatpants back up. Viktor silently reached to help him. "It feels like I'm playing chicken here. The closer the Final gets, the more convinced I am that the universe is going to pull a massive prank on me once we're there." He quickly washed and dried his hands.

"Maybe it won't." Viktor followed him out of the bathroom. "Or at least, I hope it doesn't. Our luck can't be that bad."

"I wouldn't jinx it," Yuuri grumbled, "the last thing I want to do is give birth on live television for the entire world to see." He didn't really want to test whether or not a human being could expire from embarrassment.

Viktor stifled a laugh. "I doubt that will happen, dear. The odds of that are pretty slim."

"This is your kid we're talking about," Yuuri breathed, cradling his stomach and carefully sinking back down onto the bed, "I wouldn't be surprised at all if they chose the most dramatic day they possibly could to come into the world. I'm almost expecting it at this point."

"You never know. For all we know, you could go past your due date," Viktor pointed out with a one-shouldered shrug.

Yuuri groaned at the thought. "Don't even say that," he begged, propping up on the pillows and reaching for the heating pad to slip behind his back, "I can barely stand the thought of going two more weeks, much less longer. I'm going to sleep like a rock once the baby comes."

"I know, honey." Viktor leaned down to kiss the bump, then Yuuri's forehead, and it made him smile. "I'll just be glad when I can finally help you with the baby, so you can rest. You've been such a trooper throughout this whole thing." Viktor's blue eyes were shining softly with love and admiration. "Not many people are cut out for motherhood."

Yuuri looked down, twisting the ring on his finger. He swallowed hard.

He couldn't help but wonder if he wasn't one of them.

The familiar uneasiness loomed over him, whispering frightening things in his ear, and all of a sudden, just like that, he was in anxiety's tight, unyielding grip.

What if there were complications while he was laboring? What if his body…messed up somehow?

…what if the baby didn't make it?

Oh, he didn't even want to think about it, but his mind plowed onward.

He had read horror stories of things like respiratory distress, babies being born with the umbilical cord wrapped around their necks…sudden infant death syndrome…

If something like that happened, after all this time, all this pain, all this goddamn _waiting…_

He didn't know if he'd be able to live with himself.

His lips quivered and a tear rolled down his cheek, and he took his glasses off and covered his eyes with one hand, unwilling to let Viktor see how stupid and paranoid and weak he was.

A soft, strong hand rubbed his shoulder. The touch was hesitant, as if afraid of scaring him away. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Yuuri latched onto the inside of his lip, regaining control of himself before he burst into yet another crying fit. He was so sick of crying, and even sicker of worrying, but it was so hard not to when he was at the very last stretch like this. To even think that their long, agonizing wait for their baby could be ultimately in vain made him feel like he couldn't breathe.

"What if something happens to the baby?" He wavered. Immediately, Viktor laid down next to him and hugged him against his chest, face tucked into Viktor's neck and a gentle hand cradling the back of his head.

"I'm scared, too," Viktor confessed quietly, pressing a kiss to Yuuri's forehead. "I know I'm supposed to be strong and confident and brave for you, but…" he trailed off, and Yuuri squeezed his eyes shut, wrapping his arms around Viktor even tighter.

"I just can't help but…jump to the worst case scenario, you know?" He sniffled and exhaled shakily, nosing against Viktor's scent gland, face crumpling. "If something happens to the baby…I-I'd just die, Viktor, I don't know if I could stand it." He wrapped one arm around his belly, cradling it. "I love them so much I can't even wrap my mind around it, and I don't…I don't want anything to happen to them. I'd give up my ability to ever skate again if it meant nothing bad would happen to them." He was shocked at how easy the words were to say. It almost scared him how much he meant it.

"I would, too, _solnyshko_." Viktor pressed trembling lips to Yuuri's hair, smoothing a hand up his belly. "I didn't know it was possible to love someone besides you so much." Yuuri nodded into his neck, unable to speak for fear of breaking down into tears. "We just have to remember that the baby is healthy, and to hope and pray that you'll be able to safely bring them into the world when the time comes. I fully believe you can." He huffed out a laugh that sounded a bit tearful. "Though, I have to be honest, I'm not looking forward to it. I know it's going to hurt you, and that scares the living hell out of me."

Yuuri laughed weakly. "Believe me, I'm not looking forward to it, either, but it has to be done." He scooted down to rest his cheek on Viktor's chest, so he could feel his heartbeat. "And…afterward, when the baby's here…we won't know what to do, and that's scary, too. I've never changed a diaper in my life." He felt stupidly inadequate in that department. He had never even held a baby before.

"Oh, it's easy once you practice," Viktor assured, sniffling a bit himself and snuggling his cheek into Yuuri's hair. "If an old man like me can do it, you certainly can."

Yuuri couldn't help but smile and hide his face in Viktor's chest. "You're not old, silly."

"Ancient, my dear. I'll be twenty-nine this month." Viktor's tone turned dramatically ominous. "That's one year away from _thirty_."

A soft giggle bubbled up in Yuuri's chest. "Thirty isn't that old."

"Yura told me he's going to shape my cake into a coffin for that year," Viktor whimpered, giving an exaggerated sniffle.

Yuuri chuckled. "I doubt he actually will." He looked down at his belly when he felt an inward twitch. "Besides, little bean won't care how old you are." They were kicking against his upper belly, but the kicks were soft and wiggly, like they were just rubbing their feet against the walls of their home.

Viktor's hand rested over the movement. "Waking up?"

"Mm. Probably because they heard your voice."

Viktor's face lit up in delight, and he scrambled off of the bed and leapt to the dresser (Where did he get his energy…?) where the stack of baby books that Otabek had given them sat. He took one off of the top, then got back in bed, lying on his stomach so that he was facing Yuuri's belly.

"I know it makes them more active, but…do you think I could read to them?"

Yuuri couldn't help but smile at his eagerness. "Of course."

As Viktor began to read to the bump in a hushed, cooing voice that rose and fell sweetly, the baby perked up in response to his voice and began moving much more vigorously, but Yuuri didn't even mind.

 

 _"On the night you were born,_  
_The moon smiled with such wonder_  
_That the stars peeked in to see you_  
_And the night wind whispered,_  
_“Life will never be the same.”_  
_Because there had never been anyone like you…ever in the world._  
_So enchanted with you were the wind and the rain_  
_That they whispered the sound of your wonderful name."_

 

Yuuri cried through most of the book.

 

-

 

_38 weeks, 2 days_

 

Viktor sat quietly beside the examination table, watching Yuuri chat with the doctor in Japanese while she measured and felt of his baby bump. He understood a whole more of the language than he could actually speak, so it wasn't hard for him to follow along with what they were talking about, though he had to run a couple of sentences back through his mind every now and then to make sure of the meaning. All of the studying he had been doing was paying off.

He loved hearing Yuuri speak Japanese. It was clear and flowing like a stream, so natural and effortless. He hoped he would be even close to that fluent one day.

Dr. Fujita had her hands on the sides of Yuuri's big belly, pressing and rubbing in circular motions, getting a feel for where the baby was positioned. Yuuri was cringing, so it must have been uncomfortable. Viktor squeezed his shoulder in sympathy.

"You've probably been noticing that it's a little easier to breathe now," she said, stilling her hands.

"Oh, yes, a whole lot easier."

"As you already know, that's because baby is head down," the doctor noted, tracing on his belly to illustrate as she spoke, "the back is pointed slightly to the right, and the feet are up here, right under this side of your ribcage."

"They've seemed to prefer my right side most of the time," Yuuri laughed. "I'm always getting kicked over there."

"Most babies do tend to favor one side or the other." She tapped the keyboard of the ultrasound machine and selected the biggest wand, squeezing a liberal amount of gel onto Yuuri's stomach. "Let's take a look in there, shall we?"

Viktor adored ultrasound appointments. He had thought at one time that he would get used to them, that the wonder and magic would fade, but oh, he was wrong. It was still so surreal and special to see little bean on the monitor, yawning and suckling and kicking their little feet up into Yuuri's ribs.

After measuring his amniotic fluid (which was still where it had been at the last visit, maybe even a little lower, to their delight), the doctor moved on to pointing out features.

"This large, circular area down here is the head, as you can probably feel…"

Yuuri huffed a resigned laugh, though he kind of sounded like he wanted to cry instead. "Most definitely."

Dr. Fujita chuckled, moving the wand further up, sliding it through the gel on his stomach. "They're nice and snug down in there, huh?" She stilled the frame on the profile, and Viktor's heart skipped giddily in his chest. _Sweet little nose…_

"More than snug…sometimes it feels like they're right between my legs," Yuuri breathed, pressing on a clean spot on his stomach and wincing.

"I'm not surprised. Your fetal station is measuring at a negative one; the number goes up the further down the baby drops. Once it goes up to zero, the baby's head will be fully engaged in your pelvis. So they're pretty far down in there at this stage." She briefly sounded the heartbeat from the speakers, and Viktor and Yuuri exchanged a fond, loving glance and a hand squeeze. "Heart rate 143, very nice…" She removed the wand and wiped Yuuri's belly. "Alright, unfortunately, it's that time again. I'll give you some privacy so you can remove your pants."

She left the room, and Viktor helped Yuuri down from the table.

"I always dread this," he sighed, slipping his shoes off and letting Viktor help him out of the jeans he wore, "it's so uncomfortable."

"It'll be over soon, honey," Viktor assured, hanging Yuuri's jeans and underwear on the hook, then helping him back up onto the sterile paper-covered table and handing him the soft cloth to drape over himself for modesty. "It's stuff we have to know."

"I know…I just don't like when they…" Yuuri pursed his lips and scrunched his nose, jabbing two fingers upward a couple of times. Viktor did his best to stifle his raucous laughter. "That's what they do! It hurts!" Yuuri laughed, leaning back onto the pillows and shifting to get situated. "You wouldn't be laughing if they were checking _your_ dilation."

"I wouldn't be," Viktor agreed, "luckily they're not. You know how I am about…invasive procedures."

"Yeah, I do," Yuuri teased, "big baby." Viktor just poked his cheek softly.

As the doctor checked his dilation, Viktor could tell Yuuri was doing his best not to squirm. His brow was wrinkled and his eyes were tightly shut, and he was taking deep, measured breaths. Viktor stroked his hair, leaning down to kiss his forehead in silent support, and Yuuri opened one eye and gave him a pained half-smile.

The doctor withdrew her fingers and snapped the latex gloves off, tossing them in the biohazard bin and washing her hands. "Well," she said over the noise of the faucet, "there's a definite change from your last appointment. You're three centimeters dilated and forty percent effaced."

Yuuri quickly translated to erase any confusion, and Viktor's eyebrows shot up. "Wow. Um…" he hated speaking up at these appointments, it made him feel like such a control freak. "Is it safe for him to travel to Nagoya like this?"

The crease on Yuuri's brow told Viktor he had thought the same thing. He translated the question, and the doctor smiled, but there was a ruefulness to her expression.

"Safe? Yes. He'll be just fine. But at this stage of pregnancy, you have to watch very closely for signs of labor. It could be another day, it could be two weeks, or even more. Unfortunately, I can't predict exactly when Yuuri-san's body will decide to go into labor. He's at that uncertain point where it could be any time now."

A chill of excitement crawled up Viktor's spine.

"Fortunately, I can tell you this: the obstetrician at Kasadera Hospital, the one Yuuri-san has told me is nearest to the skating arena, is a colleague of mine that I've worked closely with before. He's a brilliant doctor, and you'll be in very capable hands if Yuuri-san does go into labor there. I can't say for certain whether or not that will happen, but it's definitely better to be prepared when it comes to babies. They operate on their own timetable."

"My mom has said the same thing," Yuuri said, linking his fingers on his lower belly.

"So yes, I think it will be fine for you to travel, as long as you're both vigilant."

They both breathed a sigh of relief in tandem, causing them to giggle.

"I'd also recommend, if you're not taking breastfeeding classes, to at least look up a few videos on it. There's a knack to getting the baby to latch properly, and if you watch a few others do it, I think it will give you some headway. You can also ask advice from anyone you know who breastfed."

Yuuri's cheeks turned pink, but he nodded. Viktor smiled fondly; it always embarrassed him to talk about that.

As the doctor was wrapping up the appointment and getting Yuuri's chart in order, Viktor felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Curious, he took it out and unlocked it. Not many people besides Yuuri texted him these days.

His brow creased when he saw the message.

_< <i need a favor_

 

-

 

"Your free leg needs to come down more, it's why you're unsteady."

"Your fucking hairline needs to come down more."

"I am appalled by this language. I'm calling Yakov and telling him you hurt my feelings."

"Go ahead, fuel the fire. He hates my guts right now anyway."

Needless to say, Viktor had forgotten just how much of a raging smartass Yuri Plisetsky could be.

The late evening sun shone hazy and dim through the windows of the Ice Castle, reflecting softly off of the ice. It was mirror-smooth, almost completely unblemished save for the few marks Yuri had created with his practicing.

Viktor had been taken aback when Yuri had begrudgingly asked him to watch him practice and help him hone a jump combo, and hadn't been able to resist needling and prodding him a bit, teasing that he thought gold medalists didn't need any help.

Now, in hindsight, he really wished he hadn't. Yuri was being horribly prickly with him.

He probably deserved some of it.

He leaned his elbows on the divider, watching with furrowed brows as Yuri performed the quad toe loop, triple toe loop combo again. His eyes traced the slim figure, analyzing the way his skate clapped down on the ice with the most satisfying noise in the world, echoing through the empty building.

"See, that was much better. You got a cleaner landing, it didn't wobble."

Yuri shredded to a stop, yanking the hair tie out of his collapsing bun and redoing it without a word. His face was clouded over, expression dark and withdrawn, and his jerking movements held a vengeful bite.

Viktor sighed through his nose, wishing Yuuri was in here instead of in the lobby discussing the finer points of breastfeeding with Yuuko. Yuuri was more tactful, and much better at getting Yuri to be civil than Viktor was.

"What the fuck are you sighing for," Yuri snapped venomously, "I did what you said, geezer, did you expect me to fall on my knees and sing the praises of the living legend?"

Viktor's jaw ticked. "Is something bothering you? I know you don't exactly love me, but you've been extra sweet today, and I'm not sure how much more I can take with my mouth closed," he said calmly, sarcasm dripping from the words.

Yuri's face contorted into a deeper scowl, and Viktor was tempted to tell him that his face would freeze that way if he kept it up, but he wasn't quite ready to die by blunt force trauma yet.

"You wouldn't understand," Yuri bit out, crossing his arms with force.

"Try me," Viktor countered with a straight face.

That seemed to give Yuri momentary pause. He regarded Viktor with suspicion, then skated closer, shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants.

"I'm just sick of…" he seemed to struggle to find the right words, eyes darting back and forth on the ice beneath him. It took him nearly a minute to speak, but Viktor didn't rush him. He took a deep, measured breath and let it out in a heavy sigh, suddenly looking very tired. "Everyone is expecting me to beat you, and I don't know if I can."

Viktor frowned. "You could beat me with an arm tied behind your back, Yura."

"But what if I _don't?"_ He sounded slightly desperate.

Viktor pursed his lips. There was no lie in Yuri's expression; the tough façade had cracked, letting through some of the world-worn weariness underneath.

In that moment, he saw so much of himself in Yuri that his chest grew heavy and his throat ached with empathy. He had felt exactly what Yuri was feeling right now, been in the exact same spot countless times when he was younger. He had loved the thrill of competition, but the pressure of the entire world pushing you and shoving you to win a gold medal could be extremely stifling. The winks and nods of sportscasters and talk show hosts as they judged your performances, your lifestyle, your _diet_. Yuri was looking a bit skinnier these days. Viktor desperately hoped it was just from growing taller.

"It's hard, isn't it," he mused almost to himself, falling back into his mother tongue and rubbing his thumbs together, "to feel that lead weight on your back. It's like you can't breathe for it sometimes, like it's slowly suffocating you. It's always there, judging you. Making you push yourself harder than you should, to live up to the expectations."

Yuri's throat bobbed in a nervous swallow. Viktor saw his cheek flex. As they stared each other down, a silent understanding seemed to pass between them, and the years fell away from Yuri's face, leaving him looking young and startlingly vulnerable.

"It is," he mumbled in Russian, "I'm…I feel…" he trailed off, scuffing his toe pick on the ice. His face mottled in a flush of shame. "I know I've got my whole career ahead of me, but it just kinda feels like…if I fuck up now, they'll all laugh and jeer. A lot of people were saying that the only reason why I won gold last Final was because you were on hiatus, or that it was…just a fluke."

"That's not true at all," Viktor said quietly. "You got there through a hell of a lot of hard work and perseverence. And that will carry you just as well through this Final." He paused. "Provided you don't go overboard." He rubbed an itch in the back of his knee with his ankle. "I think you should stop for today and stretch, then rest. You're pale, and I can tell you're tired out. You've been here all day. You risk injuring yourself if you push too hard." It felt nice to speak Russian again. Comforting.

"Maybe." Yuri skated to the barrier and reached for his skate guards. "I'm starving and thirsty. I haven't eaten since lunch." He stepped up onto the wooden floor, reaching for his water and taking a gulp, and Viktor smiled ruefully once again at how, even though they were both wearing skates, Yuri was only a couple of inches shorter than him. He was growing into his body, not nearly as awkward as he was four, five months ago. He wondered if Yuri would soon be taller than him.

"Hiroko is making us a healthy meal back at the onsen tonight. I requested something with lean meats and vegetables, and she was more than happy to oblige. The protein will help build our strength." He took his own skate guards off. He wanted to run through his routine just once each before they left, even though today wasn't a practice day.

Yuri watched him step out onto the ice, his lips in a thin line as he removed his own skates. "Don't fuck up your knee, you hear me?" he ordered, switching back to English, "I want it to be a fair fight."

Viktor sniffed out a laugh and smiled. "Yes, mom."

"Oi, save that for katsudon." Yuri stretched his arms over his head, striding in the direction of the lobby. "Speaking of katsudon, did he bring food? What am I saying, of course he brought food."

"He'll probably share if you ask very nicely," Viktor called after him, and he received received a half-hearted flip-off as an answer.

He grinned, then circled the rink and lost himself to his skating.

The downtime Yakov had prescribed (read: insisted on under penalty of death by maiming) had helped his knee tremendously. It was still stiff and sore in the mornings, but with careful, meticulous stretching and limited practice days, it had slowly, steadily improved. He no longer had to bite his lip on a cry upon landing a jump. He considered that progress.

Deep down, as he began running through the step sequence of the exhibition program he had been secretly working on, he knew that he may eventually have to do something more drastic about it. The idea of another knee surgery was one he had hoped he wouldn't ever have to entertain, but it was starting to look like it may be a possibility.

The connective tissue in his knee hadn't grown back, after all. They had reattached it and cleaned it up as best they could, but there was only so much stress you could put on a once-torn meniscus before it buckled again. Frankly, he was shocked that he had made it this far on it. At his last orthopedic appointment, a couple of weeks before they had found out Yuuri was pregnant, his doctor had sternly warned him that osteoarthritis was a strong possibility if he kept skating on his knee like this, and recommended that he at least consider a meniscus transplant.

Oh, what an ugly term. He had shied away, a bit horrified, unwilling to consider having an artificial ligament in his knee. But at this point, he was starting to wonder if it was a better option than letting his knee deteriorate past the point of repair.

He wanted to keep skating for at least one more season alongside Yuuri, who was bound and determined to skate the next year. He had already started planning a diet and a workout routine, and Viktor had caught him scribbling a few jump sequences in a notebook a few days ago, already in the first stages of planning a new program.

 _"I'm not gonna let myself go after the baby like some people do. I want to be fit and healthy again. I feel so much better, mentally and physically, when I'm in shape. I don't care how hard it will be."_ The words echoed in Viktor's ear.

He kicked off into a triple salchow, wary of trying a quad just yet, and was pleased when he landed it with a clean _clack_ and a minor prick of pain. He tossed his bangs out of his eye and knelt, on his right knee instead of his left, moving into the second step sequence.

He deeply admired Yuuri's tenacity. Not many people would be that eager to whip themselves back into shape so soon after giving birth to their first baby. Of course, Viktor would watch him closely, to make sure he didn't push himself over the edge. He would need rest, after all. Their sleep was going to be hard to come by after the baby was born. But with the baby out of Yuuri's belly, at least they could trade off taking care of them, instead of Yuuri being stuck with the workload.

His heart lifted, bubbling with love and nearly catapulting out of his chest as he perfectly landed the quadruple flip near the end of the program. His limbs and chest were beginning to burn and his breathing was coming hard and fast, but he felt triumphant. Grounded. Far more at peace with his skating than he had been last time, at the NHK Trophy, when he had been in excruciating pain out on the rink, fighting tooth and nail to keep it from showing on his face.

He settled into his finishing pose, chest heaving and heart deeply satisfied, flicking his sweaty bangs out of his eye with a toss of his head. Soft applause came to his ears; he turned around to see Yuuri standing at the rinkside, a glowing smile of pride lighting up his face and his eyes shining like garnets.

Viktor let his breath out in a huffing laugh, skating to the barrier, rubbing his cold forearms to dispel the goosebumps. "How long were you watching?"

"Long enough to know that wasn't your short program or your free skate." Yuuri rested his elbows on the divider, his knowing grin relaxing into something loving and fond. "It was beautiful, honey." He leaned forward expectantly, and Viktor tilted his head and let out a hum of appreciation when Yuuri's soft lips pressed to his jawline.

"Come here," he murmured, taking Yuuri's chin in his fingers. Their lips met in a sweet, unhurried press of warm and cold. Yuuri reached up to play with the hair at the nape of Viktor's neck, fingers combing through the fine strands, and Viktor's eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks. Oh, he loved it when Yuuri played with his hair. Especially when they were kissing.

They broke the kiss softly, keeping their lips close. Viktor could taste the pomegranate tea Yuuri had been drinking, fruity and slightly bitter. "Love you," Yuuri whispered, breath warming Viktor's mouth, and their lips joined for another brief, chaste kiss that sent tingles down to Viktor's toes.

He rested his forehead against Yuuri's warmer one. "I love you, too, my sweet _solnyshko_." He nuzzled Yuuri's nose, then looked down at his belly, pressed gently against the divider. "How's my baby?"

Yuuri's smile was tired, but ever so soft. "Just fine." His hand drifted to rest on the shelf of his tummy, and he took a few shallow breaths before speaking again. "Wiggling around like they can't sleep right now." Besides already being out of breath from being so pregnant, as usual, he was likely a bit breathless from kissing, as well.

Viktor reached both arms over the barrier and placed his hands on the sides of Yuuri's big belly, pressing gently. Fluttering, squirming movement nudged his palms, and it brought an ecstatic smile to his face. God, he loved that baby in there. More than life itself.

"So restless," he chided, rubbing slow circles into Yuuri's rounded sides, "settle down in there, _lapochka_. Your mama is weary."

"Oh…I don't mind it so much anymore," Yuuri mused, linking his fingers on his upper belly. A shadow of wistful sadness passed over his face, but was quickly replaced with a quiet adoration. "I savor every little kick and prod these days. I won't be feeling them for much longer."

"That you won't." Viktor's thumbs caressed Yuuri's sides, marveling at the tightness. "It must feel very special."

Yuuri nodded, his face breaking into a tender, radiant smile, the one Viktor had come to associate with the baby. He wondered if little bean would have their mama's smile. "It does," he agreed softly, rubbing his bump and looking down at it through those long, pretty lashes. "It's…the most amazing feeling in the world."

Viktor's heart melted.

The baby jerked and kicked between his hands, drawing a sharp gasp from Yuuri, then a sheepish, wincing smile. "Most of the time, anyway," he corrected, his voice tight and breathy.

"You're amazing." Viktor looked up at Yuuri, shaking his head in wonder. "I don't know how you can do it."

"I can do it because I love you," Yuuri said simply, leaning forward to smooch Viktor's forehead and bring a blush to his cheeks. "And I love little bean. You two are the best things that ever happened to me." His smile softened, and Viktor recognized the concern in his eyes. "How's your knee feeling after that?"

Viktor looked toward the ceiling, furrowing his brow and concentrating on his knee. He straightened and wiggled it, firmly leaning his weight on his left leg. "Surprisingly good," he answered honestly. "Better than it's felt in months."

Yuuri beamed. "I'm so happy for you." He took Viktor's hands and squeezed them in his own. He seemed to hesitate on his next words, and his expression turned a bit pained. "I don't like it when you hurt," he confessed, voice quiet, reaching up to brush Viktor's bangs aside, "I…I'd do anything to take it away for you."

"Oh, Yuuri," Viktor whispered. He looked down at their hands, blinking back sudden wetness, somehow a bit saddened by the words. Here Yuuri was, nearly nine months pregnant and suffering daily aches and pains and sickness, and he was worried about Viktor's knee.

He kept thinking it couldn't be possible to be more in love with Yuuri at this point, but Yuuri continued to prove him wrong every single day.

He took one glove off and reached up to cup Yuuri's cheek, feeling that it was starting to get cold. "Thank you for worrying about me, baby." Yuuri tilted his head, leaning into Viktor's palm with an adoring smile.

The sound of a camera shutter clicking drew their attention. Yuuko stood at the door to the lobby, her eyes twinkling and phone in hand. Yuri stood beside her, looking characteristically disgusted, but with a tinge of fondness that he probably thought was much more well hidden than it actually was.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. You'll want that one for your baby album, trust me," Yuuko said sagely, tapping her screen, and a second later, Viktor's phone chirped with a text. "I'll delete it, so the girls don't find it and post it somewhere without your permission."

"You're a treasure, Yuuko," Viktor sang, opening the picture message. Oh, that _was_ a good one.

Yuuri chuckled. "You look like you're ready to go, Yuri."

"Wow. How could you tell." Yuri's eyes were half lidded in a deadpan expression.

Viktor swiped over to his saved contacts. "I'll call a cab."

"Viktor, no," Yuuri said firmly, and he halted. "I feel fine, and walking is good for me." They held eye contact for a moment, but Yuuri didn't back down. Viktor relented and plopped down on the bench to take his skates off, setting his phone aside.

"I can't say no to you," he lamented in a whimpering sigh. Yuuri looked very smug.

"Cause you're a whipped bitch, old man."

Viktor gasped up at Yuri. "How dare you say something so untrue."

"Untrue my shiny white ass." Viktor sputtered comically, and Yuri raised a brow at Yuuri's belly as he passed by to grab his duffel bag. "It'll take forever to get home with you waddling like a penguin and slowing us down. Maybe he should call a cab so we can get home _today_." He yelped and ducked away at the sharp thump Yuuri delivered to the side of his head. Viktor had to stifle a chuckle at how parental the gesture was, and his heart warmed at Yuri referring to the onsen as home.

"You'd walk funny, too, if you had a baby's head wedged down into your crotch," Yuuri said bluntly, narrowing his eyes.

"Pressing on your bladder," Yuuko added.

Yuri gave an exaggerated gag and shuddered, shaking his arms and shoulders as if a bug had landed on him. "Ew, ew, _ew._ TMI."

"Then don't be smarty," Yuuri said tartly, crossing his arms on his belly, "and just enjoy being young and spry, and not being so pregnant that it hurts to move."

"As if. I'm never having kids."

They all broke into peals of laughter.

Yuri scowled. "The fuck are you all laughing about?"

Viktor gasped and clutched imaginary pearls, pulling Yuuri to him and wrapping protective arms around his protruding stomach. "Stop cursing in front of the baby!"

Yuri rolled his eyes. "Idiot, unborn babies can't understa—"

"You never know! What if it's their first word!?" Viktor wailed.

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" Yuri thundered, and Yuuri and Yuuko struggled to contain their laughter.

"I'm getting you a swear jar, young man."

"'Young man' me one more time and I'll shove your swear jar down your throat."

If Viktor knew any better, he'd say Yuri wasn't as mad as he was letting on. The corner of his lips were twitching, like he was trying not to smile.

The familial banter kept them laughing as they left, and despite the chilly wind and the flakes of snow that drifted around them as they walked home, Viktor felt indescribably warm inside.

That's just what they felt like.

A family.

 

-

 

Hours later, after the delicious meal of grilled chicken, steak, and various vegetables that his mother had prepared, and the nap that his body had insisted on, Yuuri padded down the hall, wondering where Viktor had run off to. It was unusual for him to leave Yuuri for any length of time lately.

He checked the onsen and the showers, but Viktor was in neither place. Makkachin trotted alongside him the whole time, paws dancing anxiously in place when Yuuri stopped walking, so he let the poodle out one of the side doors briefly to run around and do his business. He leaned against the doorway and crossed his arms on his stomach to wait for him to return.

That was one good thing about late pregnancy, he supposed. He had his own personal shelf to rest his arms on.

The muscles of his uterus briefly squeezed low in his belly, an odd sensation that he hadn't felt since early pregnancy; like a pair of hands was cupping his belly and pressing inward. Or maybe that had been closer to the second trimester? He couldn't remember. He rubbed the underside of his stomach, brows pinching at the slight ache he felt. The baby was probably just shifting their head in his pelvis. It definitely made him ache when they did that.

Makkachin bounded back through the door, skidding to a halt and doing a 180 when Yuuri gave him a sharp command to come back. Yuuri took a deep breath to steel himself for the trip to the floor, then knelt down slowly, hanging onto the door facing, and carefully brushed the snow from Makkachin's paws and fur.

"You'll get everything wet, silly," he whispered, giving the fluffy brown ears an affectionate tug. Makkachin just licked his cheek, snuffling happily.

He pulled himself up with the help of the door facing, albeit a bit clumsily, and pressed his hand into his back after he was standing again. Maybe Viktor was in the lobby.

Rubbing his back all the while, he ambled there slowly, one hand on the wall to steady himself. Kneeling down like that had made him slightly dizzy, and he wasn't about to pass out and scare Viktor shitless again. That had been mortifying.

When he reached the lobby, he took in the sight before him, and as soon as he realized what his mother and Viktor were doing, he made a choked, incredulous noise and jerked with the realization.

"Kaa-san, are you seriously—"

"Yuuriiii! You were the cutest baby I've ever seen in my whole life! Oh, I could just die!" Viktor cried, holding a photograph to his heart like he was about to have a coronary. Several albums and plastic bags that Yuuri hadn't seen in years were spread out on the table, filled with pictures of both him and Mari as newborns, infants, and toddlers.

Yuuri stood there, glasses askew, face burning pink, the baby he had just woken up with his loudness doing their best to kick him in the spleen.

"Kaa-san," he half-whined, reaching under his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose, and his mother shushed him.

"Vicchan wanted to see them, sweetie. Don't be embarrassed."

"Come sit by me and we can look together," Viktor said eagerly, scooting over and patting the cushion next to him, turquoise eyes sparkling with happiness. "I thought it might give us an idea of what little bean will look like."

Yuuri sighed in defeat and sank down onto the cushion, holding Viktor's hand for support. "You wouldn't be so eager if they were your baby pictures," he muttered.

"Indeed I wouldn't, I was an ugly newborn," Viktor cheerfully agreed without missing a beat. "But you? You were _adorable_. I've never seen such a tiny, perfect angel."

"You're being dramatic," Yuuri protested, adjusting his glasses, "Mari was just as cute."

"I was not," Mari said dryly from her chair, flipping to another page in her book, "I was born practically bald, and Yuuri had a head full of pitch black hair. He was unfairly pretty. Most newborns look like squished potatoes, like I did, but Yuuri came out ready to model." Yuuri just shook his head, rolling his eyes.

"All correct, of course. Just look, Yuuri," Viktor said, sobering and pointing to one particular photo. "Look how precious this is."

It was a picture of his mother, much younger, beaming tiredly at the camera from a hospital bed, and seven-year-old Mari, her dark hair free of blonde streaks, smiling a toothy grin at her side. Tiny, newborn Yuuri was cradled tenderly against his mother's chest, his face pink and wrinkled, thatches of inky hair sticking out from under the tiny blue sock hat he wore.

"That was the first picture Mari got to take with us," his mother sighed, a smile of nostalgia settled on her lips. "She wanted to be there when you were born, but she had to go to school, because she had a test that day that she couldn't miss without a penalty. She had told me, 'wait on me, kaa-san, don't have the baby until I get back!'" She laughed softly. "I held out as long as I could, but you just wouldn't wait. You were ready to come out and meet us." Her small, soft hand patted Yuuri's back. "You were born only a couple of hours after Mari left for school."

"I was so pissed," Mari groaned, "one of the first things I said to you was 'you really couldn't wait like five more hours?' Man, time seems so short when you're a kid." She nudged Yuuri's shoulder with her sock-covered toe, smirking. "I forgave you, though. You were too friggin' cute to stay mad at."

Yuuri snorted. "Well, at least I had that going for me, I guess…"

After careful deliberation, Viktor selected another picture, one that had probably been taken a few days later. His mother and father were piled up in their bed, slumped against each other, completely conked out. Yuuri slept in his mother's arms, tiny face relaxed and peaceful; he must have just been fed, because he was out like a light as well, and the chest of his mother's jinbei was rumpled and slightly crooked.

"I took that one," Mari noted, "They all looked so tired out and cute that I couldn't resist. The camera was mine, I had gotten it for a birthday present, and I took so many damn pictures. Most of the ones from when Yuuri was tiny were taken by me. Since tou-san and kaa-san were always busy taking care of him, they didn't get to take many pictures." She heaved out of the chair with a grunt. "I need a smoke. Gotta go outside now, since somebody can't be breathing that shit." She leaned down and gave Yuuri's belly a gentle poke as she walked by.

"Don't stay out there too long, it's cold," Hiroko admonished, and Mari nodded, digging in her pockets and slipping out the door into the snow.

As they flipped through the albums, cooing over page after page of baby pictures (he hadn't known there were so many), Yuuri could see the longing in Viktor's eyes and actions. He would gently smooth his fingertips over a picture of Yuuri in his crib, or giving the camera a faint baby grin. He'd smile, but there was something almost sad about it, though Yuuri wasn't sure quite why he would be sad.

After a time, Yuuri could tell that Viktor was getting sleepy, so he suggested they go ahead and soak in the onsen before heading to bed. Even as they did so, it was plain to see that something was on Viktor's mind, though he probably thought he was doing a better job of concealing it. He was spacey, distracted, but when Yuuri pointed it out, he just gave a quiet, slightly forced chuckle and said "Don't worry about me, _solnyshko_."

Yuuri wanted to scoff. _When you act like this, all I can do is worry._ There was no telling what was bothering him.

But he didn't press. Viktor needed his space sometimes, too.

The 'good night' they exchanged in bed felt strangely lonely, even though they were wrapped in each other's arms.

-

During the night, Yuuri was prodded awake, both by his growling stomach and by his hungry unborn baby.

He sighed quietly, shifting to move the pillow he slept on, hoping that he could just reposition and fall back to sleep. It was late, or early, depending on how you looked at it: nearly three a.m.

Next to him, Viktor was curled on his side, sleeping deeply. His fingers were twitching in his sleep, and every now and then, his mouth would part with unheard words. He looked so adorably peaceful.

A few minutes of being wide awake and starving later, Yuuri wondered when he was going to learn his lesson. He struggled to a sitting position, resigning himself to a cold, solitary adventure to the kitchen.

Once he was out of bed and wrapped in his robe, Yuuri pulled the covers up and tucked them around Viktor, to keep him from getting cold. He dropped a feather-light kiss on Viktor's forehead, and he didn't budge. _Sleep tight, sweetie._

He stuck his feet in his slippers and tiptoed past Makkachin, who was sacked out on his back like the dead. Yuuri didn't want to wake him and jingle his tags, because that would wake Viktor for sure, and he needed sleep. They were leaving for Nagoya the next day, after all. Or, that day, rather. In a few hours.

The onsen was so peaceful at night. Especially with the soft lights of the Christmas decorations in the lobby casting rose-gold light on the floor. Yuuri bypassed the lobby and headed for the kitchen, looking through the refrigerator once he was there and contemplating what to eat.

He looked down at his belly, illuminated in the light from the fridge. "Well?" He whispered, "you gonna give me some guidance here, or am I on my own this time?"

After a few seconds, a tiny protrusion rolled across his belly, and it made him breathe a soft laugh through his nose.

"Alright, then," he sighed, patting his stomach as he surveyed the fridge's contents, "Let's see what we've got. Maybe something salty…? Ooh, but then again, those white grapes look pretty good, don't they…"

After a very informative consultation with little bean, he ended up sinking down on the floor and leaning against the cabinet with a cluster of grapes, a container of plain yogurt, and a small bag of salted pretzels. An unusual combination, but at least it wasn't potato chips and mint chocolate chip ice cream, he supposed. That was definitely weirder. If anything, this was fairly healthy food to crave. He'd heard of some mothers craving nothing but junk food, which wasn't really good for a developing baby. He was grateful for the fact that little bean seemed to like fruits and veggies already, and he hoped it would continue once they were weaned.

Through gentle pressing, he found one of the baby's feet and stroked it lovingly with his thumb, popping a yogurt-dipped grape in his mouth with the other hand. The combination of sweet and tart was _heavenly_ , and along with the saltiness of the pretzels, it scratched all of the itches of cravings away.

He almost felt silly, sitting on the floor of his parents' kitchen and eating grapes and pretzels like a kid, but whatever. Little bean got what they wanted, and that was what mattered. He kept up a quiet conversation as he ate, whispering to the baby that wiggled sweetly in response to his voice.

When he was halfway through the bag of pretzels, he heard padding footsteps approaching from down the hall, with a long-legged gait he had come to recognize as Viktor's. Guilt pricked his heart. Had he woken him?

Viktor rounded the corner into the kitchen, looking appropriately disheveled for how late it was. He had his hand stuck under his shirt, scratching his stomach and yawning widely. He gave a sleepy smile when he saw Yuuri sitting on the floor.

"Didn't know where you were," he mumbled. "Just wanted to make sure you weren't sick."

"I'm fine, I just got really hungry." Yuuri licked the salt off of a pretzel before tossing it in his mouth and speaking around it. "You can go back to sleep, I'll be back in bed in a…" he trailed off when Viktor plopped on the floor next to him and lifted him into his lap with ease. "Or…this is good, too," he said shyly. Viktor's arms snaked around his chest, and a cold nose tucked into his neck, nuzzling his scent gland.

"I'd rather keep you company. The bed is too big without you."

Yuuri smiled sadly. Viktor had gotten lonely. "Okay." He swallowed his bite of pretzel and held a grape up. "Want one?" Viktor nodded, so Yuuri held it to his lips and he slipped it into his mouth. Yuuri felt the flexing motion of Viktor's jaw as he chewed, then heard a groan as Viktor's forehead met his shoulder.

"Aw, why did I do that? Now I'll have to brush my teeth again…"

"That's alright, we can do it together," Yuuri said in amusement. Viktor shifted, then reached with his free arm to snag a pretzel.

"Might as well go the whole nine yards, then…"

They munched in comfortable silence for a while, trading sweet and salty kisses every now and then that made Yuuri's face feel warm. He imagined they probably looked pretty funny, an expectant couple cuddling on the floor of a kitchen and eating grapes and pretzels at three a.m. How stereotypical. A picture that would be right at home on a "Ten Weird Cravings I Had at Ridiculous Times During Pregnancy" blog post, no doubt.

Yuuri couldn't help but smile around the bite of grape in his mouth, shoulders shaking in silent laughter.

"What are you giggling about?" Viktor asked in a teasing tone. Yuuri shook his head, swallowing and licking the yogurt from his thumb.

"I just…never thought I'd be here. Twelve-year-old me would have fainted dead away at the thought of being so close to you." Yuuri looked down at his protruding stomach, cradling it with one hand. Man, it was heavy. "Much less being pregnant with your baby and marrying you in a few months." He had to swallow around the sudden lump in his throat. "Wish I could go back and tell little Yuuri that all the struggles would be worth it."

Viktor's hands moved down to his stomach, cradling their baby in his strong hands. "I wish the same," he said quietly. He paused, and Yuuri could feel his breathing become slightly shaky. "Twenty-four-year-old Viktor definitely could have used that reassurance." He rubbed Yuuri's belly with such loving tenderness that Yuuri's throat ached. "He'd have never believed me." His voice stretched thin on the last few words, quivering with emotion.

"Oh, honey," Yuuri murmured, turning his head to kiss Viktor's temple, "that's all in the past, now. It's over and done with."

"Sometimes it doesn't feel like it," Viktor whispered. "Especially when I'm…" he stopped talking. His hand strayed to his left knee.

Yuuri waited, but he didn't continue.

The words Viktor had spoken a few weeks ago in their hotel room returned to his mind. At the time, they had worried him sick, and he still hadn't been able to shake them.

He gathered his courage.

"Viktor, can I ask you a couple of questions?" He felt a nod on his shoulder, and he hesitated before asking, wary of Viktor becoming skittish. "What medication did your doctor prescribe you for your knee?"

He felt Viktor stiffen, ever so slightly, and the air around them seemed to change. He shifted Yuuri on his lap, wrapping his arms around him again. Yuuri finally heard the mumble, buried in the fabric of his robe.

"Percocet."

A flutter of uneasiness traveled through Yuuri's insides. He forced himself to ask the next question.

"And what medication did they prescribe your mother after her accident?"

He felt Viktor's lips tremble against the back of his shoulder.

 _I thought so_.

He rubbed his fingers lightly on Viktor's knuckles. "Thank you for telling me."

Viktor's breathing shuddered, like he was thinking something that revolted him. It took a long time for him to speak again.

"I don't want to be like her," he rasped, "I…I loved her, Yuuri, I still do, but…she…" he tightened his arms around Yuuri's chest. His voice faltered, became low and wounded. "…I don't want to be like her."

Yuuri's heart cracked up the middle, spilling pity and love for Viktor down through his chest cavity.

"You're not," he assured softly. Viktor's hands clenched the fabric of his shirt over his chest.

"She left me," Viktor whispered brokenly, sounding so sorrowful and worn down that tears filled Yuuri's eyes. "Why did she do that, Yuuri…?"

Yuuri blinked back the moisture in his eyes, his own lip quivering. "Your mother loved you, Vitya. I know she did."

"Why did she _leave_ me, then?" Viktor asked a second time, voice catching on the words, tinged with desperation and hurt.

"I…"

Yuuri was floundering, he knew he was. He'd never dealt with something like this before, and he felt woefully out of his depth. Was there ever a right thing to say in a situation like this…?

He opened his mouth soundlessly several times before speaking, closing his eyes in grief. "She was…sick, sweetheart. She…she wasn't in her right mind."

A quiet sniffle and swallow preceded the next words. "That's what Ana kept saying," he croaked, reaching up to wipe his face, "but..."

Yuuri's brow creased. "Ana…?"

Viktor paused, and Yuuri was sure for a moment that he'd finally shut down.

"Yuliana," he finally mumbled.

Yuuri kept silent. All of a sudden, it felt like he had found a missing puzzle piece, and everything clicked into perfect clarity.

Viktor still hadn't forgiven his mother. Yuliana had.

His chest felt heavy.

"Can we talk about something else," Viktor whispered miserably, startling Yuuri out of his thoughts. He felt horrible for pushing Viktor so far, but he supposed he would have stopped talking much earlier if he'd wanted to.

Maybe he was finally beginning to open up.

"Of course." He took Viktor's hand from his chest and laid it on his stomach, over the soft, squirmy kicks of the baby. "They can hear dad talking, I think."

Viktor's warm palm flattened on his belly, rubbing gently back and forth. "I love you, too, little bean," he sighed, sniffling again and pressing his wet cheek to Yuuri's temple. "We're going to have a newborn in a couple of weeks. That's still just insane to me."

Yuuri half-laughed, half-groaned and nodded, snagging the last couple of grapes and handing one of them to Viktor. "It's terrifying and awesome all at once, but I think the awesome outweighs the terrifying." He patted his stomach and heaved a labored sigh, tucking a grape into his mouth. "I'm just ready to be able to walk like a normal human again. Though…" he grimaced. "After pushing a baby out of me, I'm not sure if that'll be possible or not." His pelvis was already starting to ache from being in the same position on the floor for too long. He couldn't imagine how painful it was going to be after having a baby shoved through it. His pelvic floor muscles reflexively clenched at the thought.

"I can't believe a whole, entire baby is going to come out of you." Viktor's hands cupped his belly, pressing gently. "And we made them _together_. That's so incredible." He rested his chin on Yuuri's shoulder, letting out a contented-sounding sigh. "I'm so glad I'm here with you, sweetheart. You made my life so much more full when I met you." His lips pressed to the side of Yuuri's neck.

Yuuri's nose stung with sudden tears. "You too," he whispered, resting his hand on top of Viktor's on his belly. "Both of you. If…" he worried his lip before continuing. "Two years ago, if someone had told me that I'd be engaged to the most beautiful man in the whole world, having a baby with him, and happier than I could've ever thought possible, I would've laughed them right out of the rink." He breathed a tearful laugh, slipping his fingers between Viktor's larger ones. Their rings clinked together. "But here we are."

"I agree on all but one count," Viktor mused in that voice that always preceded something cheeky.

A slow smile spread across Yuuri's face. "What, dare I ask."

" _You're_ the most beautiful man in the whole world."

A giggle burst from Yuuri's throat, and he covered his mouth, cheeks heating. "You're the biggest _dork_ in the whole world," he teased, leaning back onto Viktor's chest and smooching his cheek. Viktor hummed gravely.

"Maybe so, maybe so." A sudden yawn from Yuuri made him smile. "Someone is sleepy." He slipped out from under Yuuri and took the empty pretzel bag and yogurt container to throw them away, then held his hands out for Yuuri to pull himself up with.

"Geez," Yuuri ground out as he slowly stood with Viktor's help, lower back flaring painfully, "that never gets any easier…" he stumbled slightly, but steadied himself with Viktor's help. His brow knit in concern when the pain persisted, and he reached around to press his knuckles into it. It ached so badly it took his breath away for a moment.

Viktor's hand gently rested on his back. "I'll rub it for you once we're back in bed," he murmured, thumb tracing along his spine. Yuuri slipped an arm around his waist for support, breathing out slowly through the burning ache.

"Thank you," he sighed, rubbing his cheek on Viktor's shoulder. Even through the pain, he was getting sleepy again already.

After an unsteady trek to the bathroom and a very lethargic brush of their teeth, Makkachin met them at the door to their room, whining and rubbing his face on Yuuri's thigh as if to say "you left me, I was worried". They both gave him a thorough petting and many kisses, and were eventually forgiven.

Even with Viktor helping him go down as slowly as possible, Yuuri had to pant through sitting down on the bed, cringing all the while. He could actually feel the nerves down there throbbing painfully in time with his heartbeat.

"I don't like that pain," Viktor fretted, climbing into bed beside him. "It worries me."

"The doctor told me it was expected at this stage," Yuuri said with a resigned sigh, switching on the heating pad and laying it across a pillow that he could sit on. Heat usually helped, however little. He lifted himself on his knees and slipped the pillow underneath him, sinking down, breath shallow and quick. "But that doesn't make me any less tired of it."

Viktor leaned to press a kiss to his shoulder and started kneading his back with a tender touch. "Two more weeks," he encouraged, "You're so close, honey. It's almost over."

"Hope you're right," he mumbled, wincing and digging his fingers into the bedding when Viktor hit a sensitive spot. "Because right now, it feels like it'll never end."

"It will," Viktor assured. "You'll probably wonder where all of the time went at the end."

"Hope so…"

As Viktor massaged his back, he stared down at the tan sheets. His senses seemed to hone in on the weighty, solid feeling of the baby's head in his pelvis, how it literally felt like it was pressing his hips apart. He was honestly surprised he hadn't felt it move up when he sat down. Though, he knew it wasn't nearly as far down as it felt.

Two more weeks, Viktor had said. So optimistic.

He shook his head inwardly, a weird, dreaded sort of surety settling in the pit of his stomach.

If he was being completely honest with himself, he had no idea how in the hell he was going to make it for two more weeks.

 

-

 

**v-nikiforov**

[](http://i.imgur.com/WPcWlfW)

♡1,530,458 likes  
Hello, Nagoya! Grand Prix Final, here we come! I have the two best supporters in the whole world, imo <33 #victorybaby #gpf #myloves #icaughtababykickoncamera #♡

 

 **christophe-gc** it should be illegal for a human to be so gotdamn cute #victorybaby #is2g #yallgivemelife  
7,392 likes

 **Lord-of-Undvik** omg he's so cute, I can't take it ♡_♡ #victorybaby  
1,489 likes

 **CherryBlossomPanic** I spy with my little eye a baby foot kicking mama's tummy #victorybaby #aaahhhsosweet  
4,392 likes

 **oikawas-waifu** OMG I SEE IT!!! ;_; #tinybabyfoot  
     824 likes

 **serasvictoria29** the love in his eyes, im weak #victorybaby  
682 likes

 **phichit-chu** the sweetest lil mama in the world  <3 #victorybaby #bbybumpalert #littlebeansgettingbig  
6,062 likes

 **your-love-is-a-song** his belly is gigantic, jeez. glad I'm not pregnant and never will be  
26 likes

 **december-rain** of course his belly is big, he's growing a human you soggy biscuit  
     4,399 likes

 **00Ophelia00** the way he cradles his belly, omg I'm slain. he loves that baby so much already #victorybaby #imlivinyall  
1,372 likes

 **+guanghongji+** I can't wait to see if little bean is a boy or a girl! #victorybaby #imrootingforagirl  
3,471 likes

 **yuri-plisetsky** #sametbh  
     2,486 likes

 **Emil-Nekola** aw but a boy would be so cute!!  
          4,294 likes

 **sara-crisp** @Emil-Nekola I second that c:  
               3,402 likes

                    >See 63 more comments

 **mila-b** I never thought I'd see an entire thread of professional figure skaters arguing over the sex of an unborn baby XD #victorybaby #welovethemalready #butanywayteamblue  
1,465 likes

 **meepmeep-minami** #sametbh  
     1,398 likes

 **yuri-plisetsky** oh for fuck's sake not again  
          23,380 likes

 **meepmeep-minami** XDDD  
               4,350 likes

 **megumin-best-girl** man, those last few weeks of pregnancy are both freaking horrible and so, so precious. Cherish this time, dear, you'll miss it. ♡ #victorybaby #babykicksaresosweet  
998 likes

 **icequeenofbriggs** is it just me (and im not trying to be rude or anything just making an observation) or is yuuri really starting to drop :o #victorybaby  
731 likes

>See 493 more comments

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The book text that Viktor read was borrowed from Nancy Tillman's "On the Night You Were Born", which I don't own, and am not claiming to. I just wanted to put an excerpt from it because it's such an adorably touching book ;_;
> 
> Thanks to @autumn-leaves-falling for Yuuri's little "two years ago" monologue near the end of the chapter <33
> 
> I'd say I'm sorry that things are going a bit slowly right now, but trust me. I'm doing it for a reason. Besides, pregnancy is one big waiting game in real life, so I suppose it's rather realistic for things to drag here at the end.
> 
> :)
> 
> Thank you guys so much for your support. I couldn't do this without you, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart ♡
> 
> If you have any predictions/theories about anything in this story, feel free to tell me either here or by dropping me a message on tumblr! I adore reading how yall think things are gonna go. ~~even when you get a little too close for comfort and make me paranoid as fuck lmao~~
> 
> Next chapter: The Grand Prix Final!!
> 
> Until next time! ♡


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiii! Sorry for the wait, but I'm back!
> 
> This chapter is uh...a doozy. 23,000 words or so. I'm ashamed.
> 
> Chapter warnings: we're jumping right into a sex scene at the first of the chapter, and there's the usual pregnancy grossness from time to time, so bear those in mind. 
> 
> Also: yes, the art is too big, but I unfortunately cannot make them any smaller with my sketchbook app :c If you click or tap the images, it takes you to the imgur page, though! So if you're having trouble seeing them and scrolling for miles, you can just click on them to see a little better ^_^ 
> 
> Hope yall enjoy! ♡

 

 

_Flashback  -  approximately nine months ago_

 

As soon as it was shut, Yuuri's back hit the wood of the bedroom door with a weighty _thud_ , forcing a punched-out grunt from his throat, but that minor pain was the last thing on his mind.

Viktor's lips firmly attached to the space beneath his jaw, and he tilted his head to the side and gasped at the feeling of soft, warm wetness against his skin, clutching the cotton fabric at Viktor's back in both hands. A hard, muscular thigh was slotted between his legs, rubbing his erection through his shorts, and his mouth was roughly captured again, tongues slipping and breath mingling. He tasted the tang of arousal in the air between them, along with the sweet, minty gum Viktor had been chewing a few minutes prior, and it had his head spinning.

He could get drunk on all of these relatively new sensations so easily. It almost scared him, how quickly it rendered him gasping for breath and longing for Viktor to lay claim to him, to pepper his neck with love bites and hickeys and let Yuuri do the same to him, so everyone would know they belonged to each other.

He felt so shameless and dirty.

Viktor broke the kiss to nip a trail down the side of his neck, ghosting his sharp teeth over the sensitive skin that was practically slick with the oils of Yuuri's pheromones, and his eyelids fluttered, knees growing wobbly and a few weak expletives spilling from his lips.

That apparently encouraged Viktor, because all of a sudden, Yuuri was lifted up as easily as if he weighed nothing at all and pinned to the door, and in the heat of the moment, he gladly wrapped his legs around Viktor's waist and locked his ankles at his back. There was almost no space between them now, chest to chest, Viktor's face buried in his fragrant throat, Yuuri's arms loosely curled around Viktor's head.

Voicing a soft growl that chilled the back of Yuuri's neck, Viktor rutted against him, one hand gripping his ass and the other splayed on the door. His tongue laved Yuuri's skin, and he moaned as if Yuuri was the most delicious treat in the world, the firmness of his cock rubbing against Yuuri's through their pants. He sucked so hard on the side of Yuuri's neck that there was no way it wouldn't leave a bruise, and the contact with his scent gland had him swearing shakily, every nerve in his body humming with arousal.

Viktor drew back to rest their foreheads together, panting, and there was a strange, feral hunger blazing deep in his blue eyes; it was a look Yuuri had only seen once before, and it hadn't even been this intense the last time.

Out of nowhere, he trembled.

Immediately, as if a switched had been flipped, Viktor's eyes softened, and his nose hesitantly nuzzled Yuuri's own.

"Can I take you to the bed?" He pleaded, strain evident in his tone.

Despite his flirty, playboy public image, Yuuri had quickly learned that Viktor was a gentle giant in the bedroom, sweet and almost submissive sometimes, not to mention incredibly tender and attentive. It made Yuuri feel…cherished, in a way he never had before.

He shoved the flare of anxiety as far down inside himself as it would go, drawing in a shaky breath and resting his palm on Viktor's warm cheek.

"Please," he whispered.

With Viktor dotting his neck and collarbone with kisses, he was carried with utmost carefulness, blushing all the while because Viktor Nikiforov's very attractive hands were cupping his ass. Viktor gently lowered him down onto the bed, his lips parted and his beautiful eyes roving over Yuuri like he was utterly spellbound by what he was seeing.

Yuuri averted his eyes quickly, the hot flush on his face increasing so much he thought his cheeks would melt off. He couldn't handle it when Viktor looked at him like that. It was dizzying, so potent and emotional.

He held his arms out, begging for Viktor's embrace, and Viktor gladly gave it. Kissing all the while, they stripped each other of their clothes, leaving tender touches in secret spots.

The feeling of lubed fingers inside him wasn't as much of a new one anymore, but it was no less pleasant for it. He had made it through his first (and really only) heat that way years ago, using his own fingers and saliva even though it had mortified him to the point of tears, but his fingers had never reached deep enough. Something had been just out of reach, and he hadn't known what it was until he had lost his virginity to Viktor the night after their exhibition skate.

(He remembered jolting and yelping "what the _hell_ was that!?" the first time Viktor's fingers had found his prostate. Viktor had tried his best not to laugh, and Yuuri had glared at him, though he hadn't been able to keep a straight face for long.)

He squirmed on the sheets, kicking his athletic shorts and underwear off of his leg where they'd haphazardly been left hanging, and tried to keep up with the deep, hard pounding of his heart that was _definitely_ still a new feeling. The countless times he had touched himself to the sight of the poster above his bed in the past, it had never, ever compared to this terrifying level of intimacy. With Viktor's eyes actually on him, watching him, the intensity was ramped up to the max, and it made him hypersensitive. Every touch scorched him to the bone, opened up parts of himself that he had no idea even existed.

Viktor's fingers gently spread apart inside him, and he winced at the lewd noise it made. He was ashamed of how wet he was; the slick seeped from him liberally in response to Viktor's musky scent, and the ache of how empty he was weighed low in his belly, begging to be satiated. It was such a strange sensation, longing for something to fill him, and it still embarrassed him to no end.

His prostate was tenderly rubbed, and it made him arch his back, huffing out a surprised breath and squeezing his eyes shut. His cock was hot and heavy, achingly hard against his stomach and drooling a small, sticky line of precum onto his skin. The tingling feeling at the base of his crotch could be felt all the way to his toes, and the desperation inside him grew with every touch. His mind was hazy, clouded with pleasure. All he could feel was _Viktor_ , all around him, reaching into his lungs, enveloping his entire being.

"Viktor, please," he gasped out, and that same, strange light flickered in the depths of Viktor's eyes, like he wanted to eat Yuuri for dessert.

"Are you sure you're—"

Yuuri nodded emphatically, breathless. There was a strange need thrumming beneath his skin, an all-consuming urgency that almost made tears prick his eyes. Perhaps it was Viktor's pheromones affecting him…? They hadn't fully gotten used to each other's more intimate scents yet, so maybe that was why it was driving him up the wall.

Viktor's pupils were so wide they nearly overtook the hot blue of his irises. He lined up the head of his cock with Yuuri's entrance, firmly rubbing it until it caught, and slowly moved his hips forward.

Yuuri breathed out a whimper, toes curling at the penetration. His chest heaved at the prickling, burning sensation, and Viktor slowed to a stop, eyes wide.

"Am I hurting you?"

Yuuri immediately shook his head, but then stopped, averting his gaze. He worried the inside of his lip between his teeth. "I-it's just a lot," he uttered quietly, barely audible.

Viktor's brow creased, and he leaned down to press a heartbreakingly gentle kiss to Yuuri's mouth. "We'll wait as long as you need," he whispered.

Yuuri was so goddamn lucky, he couldn't even believe it.

Once he had adjusted, Viktor inched forward, spreading him apart, filling him more and more until his hips were pressed to Yuuri's ass, and Yuuri groaned long and low, hand falling to his lower belly. His rim was stretched so wide that it had to be impossible. Even though he had done this twice before already, he still couldn't believe it. Poor Viktor had to be going nuts, holding back like this; Yuuri was extremely tight.

Viktor rolled his hips carefully, watching Yuuri's face for any sign of pain. It was endearing, how cautious and concerned he was, so eager to please. The gentle drag of Viktor's cock over his prostate had Yuuri gripping the sheets in his hands, squeezing his eyes shut and biting the inside of his lip.

Silky hair lightly brushed his cheekbone, and he opened his eyes to see Viktor's face hovering inches from his own, looking very much like he wanted to be kissed and didn't know how to ask.

Yuuri breathed out a soft laugh, reaching up with both hands to cradle Viktor's face. "Come here," he whispered, pulling Viktor down into a kiss that elicited a quiet moan of relief.

As Viktor set a steady rhythm, their lips met over and over until they were lost to each other's tastes, drinking up the affection, reveling in the love. It was a hesitant, shy love, blooming like a many-layered rose, and each time they were intimate, more petals were uncovered, sweet-smelling and beautiful and precious.

Yuuri desperately hung onto Viktor's back like an anchor amidst a storm at sea, tears pricking his eyes, strands of his bangs sticking to his sweaty forehead. His breath shuddered, hitching with each thrust of Viktor's cock in and out that hit his prostate with glancing blows each time, making his spine quiver with pleasure. Viktor's neck rubbed against his own, kicking up their pheromones as he instinctively scented, and it made something deep in the pit of Yuuri's abdomen preen and curl, deeply satisfied. Being connected with Viktor like this, as close as they could physically get…it was an incredible feeling.

But it didn't come without a price.

Yuuri's heart was beating faster and faster, something that always made him anxious, and he had trouble beating it back. He fought with it desperately, not wanting to ruin the intimate moment, but before he could stop it, a silent sob hunched his shoulders, and he buried his face in Viktor's neck.

"Yuuri…?"

When he didn't answer, Viktor slowed his hips to a stop and took hold of Yuuri's face, coaxing him to look at him, and Yuuri reluctantly opened his eyes. Viktor's eyes were intense, wet. Burning with passion. Yuuri quickly jerked his gaze away.

In that moment, he felt so exposed and laid-bare that the anxiety rose to a peak in his stomach, hair prickling on his arms, and his body tensed, ready to bolt.

"Yuuri, please, look at me."

He turned wide brown eyes back to Viktor's blue, seeing the tears in them spill over. One of them plipped on Yuuri's cheek and rolled down, and it made his heart twist up like a pretzel.

"I love you."

His breath left him.

Viktor's face was more serious than he had ever seen it. He meant those words.

They had been showing each other their love for months through their actions, but this was the first time either of them had said it out loud.

"Viktor," he whimpered, feeling the strong sting of tears behind his own nose and eyes, but he refused to look away, because Viktor looked so vulnerable. Yuuri could feel every emotion he was feeling, both through his eyes and his scent, and he had never felt such pure, unadulterated adoration in his entire life.

It was immense.

He broke down into soft weeping, almost crushed by the weight of the love, though it wasn't at all unpleasant.

He felt _complete_.

"I love you, too," he choked out, pulling Viktor close and curling his fingers into his bare back. Viktor's arms slipped around him, cradling him close and safe, and Yuuri wished he would never let go.

Neither of them lasted long after that. It was like the world had been touched with a full-color paintbrush for the first time, and it was exhilarating.

They came in tandem, clinging to each other and crying, and Yuuri could hardly believe how overwhelming it was. His heart felt like it had been torn in two and replaced with half of Viktor's. The electricity spiked between them as his insides squeezed down on Viktor's cock, pulsing and rippling around him in rhythmic spurts, and his own cock spattered his chest with streaks of cum. It left him shuddering helplessly, fingers buried in Viktor's hair as he cried his name over and over.

By the time he came down from the high, Viktor was already hugging him close, whispering sweet nothings into his hair and stroking his scent gland with the tips of his fingers.

Just like that, the emotional whiplash descended on him again, and suddenly he was shaking and panting for an entirely different reason.

Viktor's hand stilled. "Yuuri, are you—"

"We…we just…"

Distantly, he was angry, actually angry inside that this still happened. He couldn't ever just have sex and have _fun_ doing it. The adrenaline of orgasm would drop like a rock, leaving him trembling and sweating and questioning everything they had just done, running it into the ground in his mind. He hadn't been good enough, he had done something wrong, he had made too much noise, he—

"Shh, it's…you're alright, _солнышко_ ," Viktor whispered, his voice soothing and his touch light, but Yuuri could tell he was uncomfortable, unsure of how to calm Yuuri down, and it made him feel awful. He kept silent about it, not wanting to ruin the moment even further.

"I'll be fine," he insisted, teeth chattering from how much he was shaking. Viktor said nothing, but Yuuri could smell that he was worried, underneath the sweetness of afterglow.

Gradually, under Viktor's gentle, hesitant touches, the panic ebbed away, leaving him weak and feeling very small. Soon enough, he managed to completely talk himself out of it, reaching deep into his mind for the coping mechanisms he'd been taught.

When Viktor pulled out, for a split second, he almost panicked again.

"I'm so sorry," Viktor said hastily, handing Yuuri a few tissues to wipe away the cum that was steadily leaking out of him, "I completely forgot to put one on. I've  _never_ forgotten before…" He looked so wracked with guilt that Yuuri hugged him.

"It's okay. I can't get pregnant, remember? My ovulation doesn't function properly. I've been infertile since I was seventeen."

Something like a mixture of relief and longing-tinged sadness passed over Viktor's face, and for a moment, Yuuri felt bad that he would never be able to give Viktor a baby.

After thinking of it for a moment, he shrugged inwardly. They could always adopt or use a surrogate if they wanted to raise a family one day, after they got married and were retired. He was way too young for kids right now, anyway.

After they had cleaned up and were dressed in clean pajamas and headed for the kitchen to make dinner, something occurred to Yuuri.

"What did you call me, earlier? Sol-something." He pulled a pan out of the drawer. Stir fry sounded nice.

Viktor looked up from where he was petting Makkachin. "Oh. _Solnyshko_." The Russian word rolled off his tongue with ease.

"What does it mean?"

There was that heart-shaped smile again. "Little sun."

Yuuri blinked. "Why call me that?"

Viktor rose from the floor, a childhood fantasy come to life with his striking silver hair and brilliant blue eyes, and crossed the room to take hold of Yuuri's chin and press a firm kiss to his lips.

His words warmed Yuuri's mouth and melted his heart.

"Because you brought sunshine to my life when I needed it most."

 

  
-

 

  
_Present  -  38 weeks, 3 days_

 

  
"Yuuri-san!"

Yuuri raised his head and blinked himself out of his daydreaming, looking all around in the lobby of the Nagoya Kasadera for the source of the voice. He had been turning down the reporters with polite "no" gestures so far, but this voice was familiar to him.

He finally spotted the friendly face and square jaw of Hisashi Morooka, pushing through the crowd of reporters and waving madly to him, dragging his cameraman behind and speaking rapid-fire Japanese.

"I know you're probably tired, but would you mind giving just a few comments?"

How right he was. Yuuri's feet were dragging from exhaustion, the baby was wiggling up a storm, and his back was suffering from the five-hour train ride from Hasetsu. With any other person, Yuuri would have flat-out refused, but Morooka was a great guy, and Yuuri had always liked him. He wasn't as pushy as most reporters and commentators, and he always went out of his way to ask permission before he started firing off questions or recording.

Yuuri stopped near the elevator, nodding and turning his rolling suitcase upright. "Sure thing," he said with a smile, giving Viktor a subtle shake of the head when he frowned and looked like he was about to protest.

"I'll stay down here with you, then," Viktor said, and was immediately pounced on by a reporter of his own. Yuuri winced inwardly when the first question she asked him was immediately invasive and personal.

"I'm gonna head up," Yuri grumbled, yanking his black face mask down and ripping off his sunglasses. "I'm already about to punch the next asshole that looks at me funny. Like, _yes_ , I know I'm taller, stop staring at me like I'm a fucking zoo animal."

Yuuri chuckled. "Go ahead, get settled in." Yuri departed for the elevator without a backward glance, practically shoving through the crowd that begged him for an interview. They were really hounding him today.

Yuuri turned his attention to Morooka, holding his hand out in greeting and switching back to Japanese. "Good to see you," he said honestly as they shook hands, and Morooka beamed.

"Same to you. You're looking very well, and I'm glad for it."

Yuuri huffed out a rather incredulous laugh, resting one hand on his baby bump and resisting the urge to ask Morooka if he needed his eyes checked. "Thank you."

Morooka took a small notepad out of his jacket pocket and compulsively clicked his pen, quick with his movements as usual, dark eyes darting over his questions. "So, I know you've probably been asked this a hundred times today already, but how does it feel to be able to support Viktor this time around?"

Yuuri slipped into 'just ignore the camera in your face' mode with surprising ease. "You're the first, actually. It feels awesome, and I'm so glad that my health was good enough that I was able to accompany him. I know he'd do the same for me if the situation were reversed."

"I bet." Morooka glanced down at Yuuri's belly, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Speaking of that, how's the little one?"

Yuuri smiled softly. "Wonderful. Kicking away in there as we speak." He gave a resigned sigh. "We're just waiting on them to decide when they want to come out now. The waiting is one of the hardest parts, I think."

Morooka looked sympathetic. "I know it can't be easy. But hey, you're almost done now, right?"

"Yes, just two more weeks, give or take. I'm kinda terrified, but…" Yuuri exhaled a breathless laugh. "I'm also very excited."

"I can imagine you are!" Morooka said enthusiastically. "The victory baby is pretty famous on Instagram already. I know the skating world is eager to meet them. After you recover from giving birth, do you plan to skate the next season?" He wrinkled his nose. "Sorry, I know you've probably had people nagging you about that one for a long time."

Yuuri gave a rueful shake of his head. "It's fine, people want to know. Yes, I fully intend to get back in shape as quickly and safely as I can and begin working on next season's programs, with Viktor's help and support. If all goes well, we'll be skating against each other next season." Excitement tingled in his stomach. He was so ready.

"I know the world will be absolutely thrilled to see that." Morooka tapped his pen on his lips. "There are a few more here, but I can tell you're worn out. So I'll just ask one more short one." Yuuri smiled gratefully at his consideration. "Viktor Nikiforov and Yuri Plisetsky are neck and neck as of now in terms of overall score. Do you have any predictions of who will take the gold?"

"Honestly?" Yuuri gave a sheepish, apologetic shrug. "I really don't. They've both been working so hard in the past few weeks, it would be impossible for me to even hazard a guess. I know they'll both do their best to win, and I'm rooting for both of them, as well as the other competitors."

"Same here," Morooka whispered conspiratorially, pocketing his notebook and shaking Yuuri's hand again. "Thanks so much for taking the time to talk with me. I'll let you get up to your room and rest now. Take care."

"You, too," Yuuri called after him as he departed, and he gave a backward wave.

Once he had rescued Viktor from the clutches of the reporter and they had waded through the gathering of paparazzi, the elevator doors pulled shut behind them, and Viktor let out a relieved sigh.

"I had almost forgotten how graceless they can be," he muttered, pressing the five button on the control panel. The elevator slowly began to lift, and it made Yuuri's stomach drop slightly.

Yuuri patted him on the back. "They're just excited to see you back."

"Excited to stare at my knee is more like it." Viktor glared down at the black and grey support brace wrapped around his knee. He had tried his best to get it on under his jeans, but to no avail. He had to wear it over them, and it definitely drew attention.

("Maybe if you didn't wear your pants so tight," Yuuri had pointed out airily, and Viktor had sniffed.

"I know you like my ass in tight jeans."

After a moment of sputtering and blushing, Yuuri had pressed his lips together in defeat, unable to deny it.)

"Don't pay them any mind," Yuuri soothed, slipping an arm around Viktor's lean waist and giving him a comforting squeeze. "Lots of athletes wear knee braces."

Viktor pressed his cheek to Yuuri's temple, shifting his weight to his right leg to be closer to him and to take the pressure off his bad leg. "I just know they're all thinking it's because of my injury," he mumbled.

"It's none of their business what it's for," Yuuri said firmly. "You and I know what it's for, and that's good enough. If it helps your knee feel better, you shouldn't feel bad about wearing it."

"I guess you're right…"

Yuuri leaned up and kissed his jawline. "I know I am."

The elevator doors dragged open, and when Yuuri took a step forward, he felt like he was stepping out onto a cloud, floaty and unsteady. Viktor evidently remembered how dizzy elevators made him now, because he took his arm without comment, slipping it through his own and holding Yuuri firmly, and Yuuri gripped his arm in turn. It was so weird; elevators had never affected him like this until he had gotten pregnant. But, he supposed, there wasn't much that could be done about it. It wasn't like he could take the stairs. He could lie on the floor and die right there at the mere thought of walking up five flights of stairs.

After swiping their room key card, depositing their luggage at the closet, and kicking their shoes into a haphazard pile, they both collapsed on top of the cushy grey duvet that covered the bed and groaned in unison.

"Why do babies have to be so exhausting to grow," Yuuri whined. He turned on his side, spurred on by the weight of his uterus pressing down on him, and let out a slow, resigned sigh at the painful tightness in his back that resulted from his belly pulling on it. "I feel so old and tired."

"If you're old, what on earth does that make me?" Viktor's voice was muffled by the pillow his face was buried in.

Yuuri reached over and rubbed his back, patting tenderly. "Extra old."

Viktor just whimpered into the pillow.

Yuuri chuckled and scooted closer, tugging Viktor to him and wrapping his arms around him as much as he could. Viktor's arm slipped around him as well, the other moving down to situate Yuuri's lower half so that their stomachs were pressed together, as always. Yuuri felt a cool nose and warm lips on his forehead, and what felt like the hundredth consecutive twitch deep in his belly.

"Little bean has the hiccups, I think," Viktor mused, patting Yuuri's round, firm side.

Yuuri hummed a soft laugh. "You'd be right." The delicate, evenly-spaced baby hiccups had been going on for nearly two hours now. "The head is so wedged down in there that I feel it vibrate through my hips every time they hiccup, and it doesn't feel great." Viktor's gentle hand rested on his side, thumb pressing around the teeny foot that had created a lump through his shirt, and he sighed. "I was hoping they'd go to sleep soon, but I don't think I'm going to be that lucky."

"They probably heard you talking crap." Viktor traced a loving circle around the little bump that was probably the baby's heel. "They're saying 'I don't mean to hurt you, mama, but I don't exactly have much room to work with here.'"

"I know they don't," Yuuri laughed, pressing against the underside of his stomach. The hard expanse of the baby's back met his fingertips. "I'm just ready for them to vacate my pelvis. They keep pinching nerves down there, and it hurts like hell."

Viktor gave a pouting "aww" that probably would have been condescending coming from anyone else, but from Viktor, it was nothing but genuine concern and sympathy, judging from the saddened wrinkle on his forehead. "I feel so bad for you, being all big and uncomfortable like this. I'm sorry you're hurting, _solnyshko_." He dropped a kiss on the bridge of Yuuri's nose.

To Yuuri's chagrin, his heart cramped at the love and worry in Viktor's voice, and his eyes flooded with sudden tears that slipped down his cheeks before he could even attempt to stifle them. He quickly fumbled his glasses off and hid his scrunched face in Viktor's chest, badly stifling a tight, emotional sob.

"Oh, honey," Viktor murmured, reaching to leaf a few tissues from the box on the nightstand. "Was it something I said?"

Yuuri shook his head, unable to speak through the shuddering sobs. The stupid tears kept coming, despite the efforts to stop them that just succeeded in making his head ache. He reluctantly let himself break down completely, desperately wrapping his arms around Viktor and sobbing into his shirt. That weird, familiar sadness sat heavy in his chest, one that he knew was the work of hormones, and he hated it. He felt like such a baby, crying this hard over absolutely nothing.

Viktor just held him close, stroking his back and whispering comfort into his hair, pressing kiss after loving kiss to his forehead.

It took him a long few minutes of crying to calm down enough to talk, and even then, he spoke through hiccuping sobs, smearing the tears from his cheeks with the heel of his hand.

"I'm s-sorry, I don't—" he panted out a few weak, quivering breaths, briefly squeezing his eyes shut in embarrassment, "I don't kn-know what came over me…" Viktor offered the tissues for his eyes and streaming nose, and he took them gladly, blowing his nose and sniffling.

"Everyone needs a good cry every now and then, I think. Especially when they're nine months pregnant." Viktor thumbed a stray tear from his cheek and kissed the spot. "Little bean is just doing a number on your hormones. There's nothing to be ashamed of."

Yuuri breathed out a shaky laugh, reaching up to thread his fingers through the back of Viktor's hair, pulling him close to touch foreheads with him. "I love you so much," he whispered, "I love you more every day, Vitya."

Viktor's cheeks pinkened attractively, accentuating the adoring smile that lifted the corners of his heart-shaped lips. "I love you, too, darling."

Fingers still tangled in silver locks, Yuuri gently tugged Viktor's head back enough to plant a kiss on his lips. When they separated, Viktor immediately leaned forward to capture his lips again, and he drew in a surprised gasp through his nose at the forwardness. His eyes slipped shut in pleasure as Viktor's soft lips moved against his own, gently prodding them open, and the warmth of tongues meeting had his head floating above the clouds in seconds.

"You're the best kisser in the whole world," Viktor sighed when they broke apart, and Yuuri's gaze roved over his face, admiring how pretty he was. Man, he looked nice after a good, sound kiss. His lips always turned so rosy.

"I think you're biased, but okay." Yuuri relaxed into him, resting his cheek on his chest. The thumping of Viktor's heart against his cheek made him smile.

"Indeed I am," Viktor agreed, bringing his hand up to caress the back of Yuuri's head, "but that's okay, since I'm marrying you. I should be a bit biased." Yuuri shook his head in amusement.

The flirty banter was soon interrupted by yawns, and they drifted off for a nap in each other's arms with little bean wiggling softly between them.

 

  
-

 

  
Viktor awoke slowly a couple of hours later, feeling toasty and leisurely and very, very contented. One of Yuuri's arms was wrapped around him, and his head had been moved down to Yuuri's shoulder with a small pillow from the bed under his neck to keep it comfortable. He opened his eyes a crack; Yuuri had his earbuds in, and he was silently watching a video on his phone, the soft light from the screen reflecting off of his glasses and his brown eyes attentively moving back and forth behind the lenses.

A quick glance at the screen had Viktor immediately glancing away again, voicing a quiet "oh". He hadn't been expecting that.

Yuuri paused the video and smiled down at him. “ _Ohayou_ ,” he murmured, pressing his soft lips to Viktor’s forehead, but then the smile on them faded slightly; he had evidently noticed Viktor’s flustered body language and the blush of surprise that had filled his cheeks. “Something the matter?”

“Ah…no, not really,” Viktor chuckled and stretched, rubbing the back of his neck, “it just took me off guard. Not every day that I wake up to a faceful of boob.”

After a second of confused blinking, Yuuri exhaled a laugh and shook his head, nudging Viktor with his shoulder in playful reprimand. “I have to learn about this stuff sometime, you know. Yuuko-chan sent me a playlist of videos, she said they’ll be really helpful.”

"That was sweet of her. Mind if I listen?" Viktor snuggled his cheek on the pillow, accepting the offered earbud as Yuuri unpaused the video and tilted the phone so he could see better.

A young, dark-haired woman was explaining various techniques for breastfeeding, demonstrating with herself and her newborn baby as she did. She showed how to position the baby in a "cross-cradle" hold, how to hold the baby's head and neck, and how to guide the baby onto the breast, to get a good latch so they could get enough milk. She warned against letting the baby suckle solely on the nipple, because they would get minimal milk and it could be painful for the mother. Once she had latched the baby properly, the tiny newborn relaxed, eyes slipping shut and jaw flexing as she started to feed. The woman pointed a slender, manicured finger along the baby's delicate jawline, noting how it moved wide open with each suckle and paused between swallows, apparently an indication of a good latch.

Yuuri replayed that part several times.

Viktor turned his attention to Yuuri instead of the video, and Yuuri didn't even notice. His hand gripped his chin as he watched the woman help the baby latch with furrowed dark brows, his eyes squinting, studying intensely. He was so handsome and cute when he was concentrating. Viktor was content to watch him quietly and rest his hand on the swell of the baby bump, rubbing gently over little bean's lazy squirming.

"I bet that will be a lot more difficult than she's making it look," Yuuri finally murmured, pausing the video and taking his earbud out. His fingers wandered to his own chest. "But I still want to try."

In his head, Viktor could see Yuuri propped up in bed, cradling little bean so tenderly as they fed, gazing down at them with love in his eyes, tracing their tiny facial features with one finger… The mental image was just too precious. It wound around Viktor's heart, lifting it with happy, feathery flutters.

He picked up the hand on Yuuri's chest and gave his knuckles a kiss. "How is your chest, by the way? Painful?"

Yuuri pursed his lips and shook his head, then made a wiggly hand gesture. "Not really…? Just…well, heavy and tender and kind of tingly, like usual." His cheeks turned pink. "And…it's a little more…swollen these days," he mumbled, squaring his shoulders.

Viktor's brow creased. "Is that normal?"

Yuuri nodded, the flush on his face deepening. He visibly hesitated, then tugged the hem of his shirt up over his stomach and chest.

He was right; his chest was bigger, though not by much. There was a very slight roundness to each breast (could they be called that, even though Yuuri was male? Viktor supposed so, it was just a technical term), but they were nowhere near the size of the average female omega's breasts. His nipples were covered by absorbent nursing pads, as usual, but the skin that wasn't covered had a very faint, bluish-purple tint beneath it, almost as if it was bruised, and the dark lines of the blood vessels stood out quite a bit more than they had before. Viktor figured it took a lot of blood and nutrients to produce milk, and maybe that was why the veins were more noticeable. His heart swelled with admiration.

"You're staring," Yuuri said weakly, hands moving as if to cover his chest. Viktor gently held them between his own.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable or embarrass you, honey. I just…think it's amazing." Viktor touched one side of Yuuri's chest, fingertips barely brushing the warm skin. "Your body is an incredible thing. Miraculous, really."

Yuuri's lips lifted into that adorably shy smile. "I'm trying not to be as self-conscious about it, but it's getting kinda hard." He looked down, poking next to the nursing pad with a gentle finger. His finger sank much further in than it would have at one time. "It's just not what I'm used to."

Viktor leaned down to smooch the petal-soft skin over Yuuri's heart, earning a sweet, breathy giggle. "You'll be able to feed little bean any time you want to, without the extra hassle of fixing a bottle or worrying about running out of formula. Just think of how nice that will be."

"That's true. Let's hope I'm able to do it…" Yuuri formed his hand in a C shape and cupped it around his nipple, gently pushing the pliable flesh into a small mound, like the woman on the video had. His brows came down in a self-conscious frown. "Though, she had quite a bit more to work with than I do…I'll probably mess it up somehow…"

Viktor shook his head adamantly. "You'll just need practice, like everyone else. No one becomes a master of anything in a day."

"Mm." Yuuri's eyes remained downcast as he rested a hand on his bump, practically pouting.

"You'll have to try not to get discouraged if you can't do it immediately," Viktor reminded, trying not to sound like he was scolding. "Remember what Yuuko said?"

Yuuri nodded weakly. "She had trouble at first, but it just took practice…"

"Exactly." He scooted further up and nuzzled the smooth squish of Yuuri's cheek. "Besides, I have faith in my  _solnyshko_. Just give it the old college try, as Papa used to say."

Yuuri smiled, pulling his shirt down over his belly and nestling his face into Viktor's neck, and the feeling of his cool, pert nose against Viktor's scent gland made something warm and pleased settle in his chest. Yuuri spoke through a contented sigh. "I feel like I would have liked your father. Your mother, too."

Viktor chuckled. "Papa was a character. He had the driest sense of humor I've ever heard, and he would wait until the perfect moment to use the _worst_ puns. Mama would pretend to be exasperated by him, but I would always see her eyes twinkle." His heart twinged at the memory, but not quite as painfully as it usually did. It was more a feeling of regret than the cutting, breath-stealing grief he normally felt. He fervently wished Yuuri could have met them.

Maybe, on another timeline, in another universe, they had. Perhaps it was a silly thought, but it was a comfort nonetheless.

"If he was anything like you, I bet he was fun to be around," Yuuri mused. He pressed a kiss to Viktor's neck, sending goosebumps tingling down Viktor's arms.

"He really was." His phone buzzed with a text in his pocket, so he pulled it out. It was Yuri.

_< <so uh_

_< <picked up some vagrants_

Viktor frowned, then typed. >> _What? Where are you?_

_< <...outside your door_

There were muffled giggles from beyond their hotel room door, and someone shushed them loudly.

"What was that?" Yuuri asked, confused. Viktor showed him the texts, and he snorted when he read them. "Who's out there? Show yourselves," he called out, grinning, and Viktor got up to unlock the door.

The door creaked open, and one by one, like a family of gophers, Yuri, Christophe, Phichit, and Minami stuck their heads around the door, creating a hilarious sort of totem pole.

"Hi!" Minami said cheerfully, giving a tiny wave.

"Hi," Viktor echoed, amused.

"We wanted to text first, so we wouldn't risk barging in and interrupting anything…important," Chris said with a pucker of his lips and an exaggerated wink. Phichit reached up and whacked him in the face, and the gasp and breathy moan he let out was decidedly sexual.

"Contain yourself, Don Juan, there's a minor in our presence!" Phichit barked. Minami's whisper of "what's a Don Juan" had Viktor and Yuuri both stifling giggles.

Yuri side-eyed Phichit, looking bored. "Again, I know what sex is, but thanks for the concern, mom."

"Watch your tone, young man, I'm older than you," Phichit wheedled in an old man voice.

Yuri shoved him into the room and followed. "Watch your own, eyebrows, I'm bigger than you now."

"He has a point," Viktor said in amusement as he sank back down onto the bed, and Phichit huffed.

They filed into the room, and as they turned the corner, Minami's eyes immediately found Yuuri and lit up, as they always did. Viktor couldn't help but find the hero worship adorable.

At one time, he was ashamed to admit that he had felt a bit territorial around Minami because of it, thinking that it was an obsessive crush, but he had quickly learned that Minami was one of the biggest supporters of his and Yuuri's relationship. He had vehemently defended them in a TV interview a few months ago, when it had been heavily implied that Yuuri had intentionally gotten pregnant to try and steal Viktor from the ice again. It was endearing, how much he loved them.

"How are you feeling, _mon cher?"_ Chris asked, sinking down on the bed next to Yuuri and giving his shoulder a gentle caress.

"Right now? Really good, actually." Yuuri pressed his fingertips into his belly, rubbing in small circles, and Viktor could see the baby kick through his soft grey shirt. "Besides being assaulted by tiny feet and fists, of course." He took a deep breath and struggled to a sitting position, and Viktor quickly reached to help push him up.

"Little bean is moving?" Minami's eyes sparkled. "May I feel?"

"Sure." Yuuri smiled, moving his hand so Minami could rest his own in its place. A delighted grin slowly spread across Minami's tanned face; Viktor could see his hand moving slightly, pushed up by the baby's feet beneath.

"That's so incredible," he whispered in awe, and Yuuri nodded with one of those sweet, eye-crinkling smiles that Viktor adored. Phichit and Chris joined in, placing their own hands on Yuuri's sides and sandwiching the bump between. Each ooh and aah of wonder had Viktor's chest swelling with pride.

 _That's my little bean in there_.

"I feel like one of those Buddha statues with the big, round bellies that people rub for good luck," Yuuri sighed, giving his protruding bump a pat.

"Well, you got the big, round part right..."

"Yuri, I will toss you out this fifth floor window, don't test me," Yuuri said with a straight face.

Yuri snorted. "Now that would be a fuckin' sight."

"Watch me, I'll do it. But first, I need to pee, so help me up?" Yuuri gave him an imploring gaze, and Yuri rolled his eyes and slumped in typical teenage disgust. "Please? You're the only one standing, and little bean is crushing my bladder."

Yuri's nose wrinkled in revulsion. "Fuck, _fine_. No need to use that kind of language." He took Yuuri's hand and, shockingly gently, helped him rise from the bed, steadying him when he overcorrected and swayed upon standing. "You gonna topple over?"

Yuuri breathed out deeply and shook his head, smiling and giving Yuri a pat on the shoulder. "I can make it. Thank you for the help." They all watched him waddle slowly to the bathroom and shut the door behind him with a click. With how he walked, it must have felt like there was a bowling ball between his legs.

"The way he's walking is different," Chris noted very quietly, so Yuuri wouldn't hear. Luckily, the heating unit was on, and was loud enough to provide some white noise.

"Very," Minami whispered, his brow creasing. "It looks like it hurts him."

Viktor sighed, but it came out as more of a frustrated whine. "I know, I'm so worried about him," he whimpered, rubbing his eyes. He heard the sink running in the bathroom. "I don't know how he's going to make it through sitting on those hard benches at the arena. Maybe we can bring him a pillow or something…"

"Good idea," Phichit murmured.

Yuuri emerged from the bathroom, looking back over his shoulder. "That's a really nice bathroom," he noted, cradling his stomach with one hand as he walked, "the bathtub is huge." He looked back at the group on the bed, who were all silently staring at him. He shifted self-consciously, cheeks turning red. "What?"

"Turn to the side," Phichit told him. Yuuri did as he asked, his face blank in confusion. "Pull the underside of your shirt up close to your belly."

"Is something wrong with it?" Yuuri asked hesitantly, doing as Phichit asked and resting the other hand on his bump, looking down at it as if to check and make sure it was still there.

"Whoa," Chris and Minami said in unison, and Yuri's eyes bugged out. Phichit whipped his phone out and took a flurry of pictures, and Yuuri squawked, holding his hand up in front of his face.

"The hell, Phichit, I look like crap," he protested, running a hand through his sleep-tousled hair and ignoring Viktor's matter-of-fact "you do not". "Why take pictures of me?"

"You've dropped, bruh," Phichit said seriously. "Come look." Yuuri padded to the bed and leaned down to look, brows furrowed.

Viktor's back straightened as he saw the picture, and he suddenly realized Phichit was _right_. Yuuri's belly hung significantly lower on his torso now than it had last time Viktor had really looked at it. He supposed he hadn't really noticed it because he saw Yuuri every day. The change had probably been gradual. The others hadn't seen him in a few weeks, so the difference must have been pretty glaring.

Yuuri's mouth fell open when Phichit turned his phone around, showing the picture he'd just taken. "Oh, my God," he said in disbelief, adjusting his glasses, "that's…" he stepped back, looking down at his stomach and holding it between his hands, pressing gently. "I had no idea." He felt around the space near his ribs, and Viktor nearly gasped in shock at how far his fingers sank into his stomach at the top.

Yuri made a choked sound of revulsion, and his "What the fuck" was joined by a "holy shit" from Phichit and a worried "oh, my" from Chris. Minami was silent, but his brow was scrunched in bewilderment.

"Yuuri, come here…" Viktor reached out and met him, feeling of the upper portion of his belly. It was incredibly soft and squishy, almost like a balloon. Viktor was almost afraid to press too hard, fearing it would hurt him somehow. "Wow…"

"That's crazy," Yuuri breathed, pushing both hands down into the space a good inch. "There's just… _no_ baby there!"

Viktor rubbed the underside of Yuuri's stomach, and was met with unyielding rigidity. "It's no wonder…it's all down here, it's hard as a rock."

"Doesn't that mean the baby's coming soon?" Minami fretted, wringing his small hands.

Yuuri blinked, his lips parted, as if it hadn't occurred to him. "Uh…"

"Should you be up walking around so much…?" Chris touched Yuuri's arm lightly, his face wary. Yuri's brows were furrowed over his green eyes. Even Phichit, who was largely rational and cool-headed, looked a bit alarmed.

"I-I don't…" Yuuri shrugged helplessly, his gaze darting to Viktor, pleading for help.

Viktor quickly spoke up. "Dropping isn't necessarily a sign of labor, that's what the doctor told us. It just means the baby is fully engaged in the correct position to be born. When my sister was pregnant with my nephew, she dropped when she was thirty-six weeks and stayed that way until she delivered. Everyone does it at a different time," he clarified. Yuuri relaxed, probably grateful for the save. Viktor knew he didn't like being put on the spot like that.

"If you're sure," Phichit said uneasily.

"I mean…I feel just fine," Yuuri murmured, sinking back down onto the bed. No one else did, but Viktor caught the wince that warped Yuuri's features for a split second. It always hurt him so much to sit down now, poor thing. "Actually, besides my balance being even worse than normal, I feel great. I'm not too tired, my back doesn't hurt…no nausea…haven't even had a Braxton Hicks in several hours."

"What's a Braxton Hicks?" Minami piped up, eyes shining with curiosity.

"A practice contraction," Yuuri answered, slowly lifting his legs onto the bed so he could prop up, and Viktor's heart cramped at the pain in his eyes. Once he was situated, he let out a sigh through pursed lips, crossing his legs underneath his belly and resting his hand on it. He had to stop and catch his breath before speaking again, stomach rising and falling with it. "Something that helps me get ready for actual labor when the time comes." Minami voiced an "oooh" of understanding, and Yuuri's lips pulled to the side in a thoughtful expression. "You know, I'm not tired, but I sure am hungry." As if to punctuate the statement, his stomach growled loudly, and he squared his shoulders and blushed.

"That's actually what we came to ask," Chris said, examining his fingernails with hooded eyes, "we were going to go eat somewhere, and wanted to know if you cared to join us. We hadn't decided where to go, though…"

Viktor smiled and raised his eyebrows down at Yuuri, and Yuuri nodded.

"Sure, I feel good enough. Where could we eat, though…" His face suddenly brightened for a moment, then went blank, then he rubbed his eyes and let out a groaning laugh.

"Whaaat, did you think of something?" Phichit teased, nudging Yuuri's knee with his foot, and Yuuri shook his head.

"You'll just laugh at me."

Yuri gave him a deadpan look. "I mean, probably. But tell us anyway."

Yuuri snuggled back against the pillows, resting one hand on his bump and sighing in a resigned way. "I feel so silly and stereotypical," he said ruefully. "But…McDonald's sounds so freaking good right now."

After a moment of silence, everyone burst into gales of laughter. Yuuri crossed his arms and pouted.

"I told you you would laugh!"

Phichit wiped a tear from his eye, still giggling. "I think that's the most pregnant thing I've ever heard you say." Yuuri shoved him over with his foot and he didn't even resist.

"Any objections?" Viktor asked through his chuckling, and they all shook their heads.

"I'm fine with it."

"Actually sounds kind of good."

"Chicken nuggets!"

To hell with diet plans, it was the last two days of the season. They could use a cheat day.

…they just wouldn't tell their coaches.

 

 

-

 

 

 **v-nikiforov**  
♡ 2,319,472 likes  
Absolutely glowing  <3 #victorybaby #gettingsobig #38weeks #ilovehim #hesbeautiful

 

 **TimeToDuel** the way he looks at his belly, omg I'm melting. The love in his eyes is so pure and sweet, he's gonna be such a good parent ;_; #victorybaby  
3,249 likes

 **izzy-yang** awww :') #victorybaby  
4,374 likes

 **sign-of-igni** he's so pretty what the fuck. can I be that pretty when I get pregnant pls #victorybaby  
3,490 likes

 **sukeota3sisters** good luck in the Final, @v-nikiforov and @yuri-plisetsky!!  
2,312 likes

 **v-nikiforov** thank you girls!  
     3,194 likes

 **yuri-plisetsky** :thumbsup:  
          2,310 likes

 **Raiarain** so glad the polyhydramnios calmed down…now you can just look forward to meeting your baby. You're in my prayers ♡ #victorybaby  
1,284 likes

 **Bowser-did-nothing-wrong** cuuuuute!! #victorybaby  
937 likes

 **sameolddream13** woww, belly!! he's gotten so big. looks like he's dropped quite a bit, too. maybe it won't be much longer! #victorybaby #teampink  
1,210 likes

 **g-popo** a precious picture ♡ #victorybaby  
2,149 likes

 **Rule34rules** i'm so tired of seeing this shit on my feed. i didn't follow you to see nothing but pictures of katsuki. you're downright obsessed and it's almost creepy. plus we gotta see these weird pregnancy pictures fuckin constantly. unfollowing

 **v-nikiforov** okay bye! (^3^)/  
     1,274,652 likes

 **yuri-plisetsky** he'll never recover from this loss man what have you done  
          103,247 likes

 **00Ophelia00** don't let the door hit your miserable jealous ass on the way out  
               54,231 likes

 **imagiraffe4** how the fuck is it creepy for him to be in love with his fiancé you donkey  
                    32,409 likes

                         >>See 49 more comments

 **mila-b** @sara-crisp I'm dying of cuteness, help #victorybaby  
2,381 likes

 **sara-crisp** i'm weeaaaaak :hearteyes: #victorybaby  
     1,180 likes

 **nico-nico-step-on-me** I can't wait to see the baby!!! #victorybaby #comeonlilbean  
923 likes

 

  
-

 

  
_38 weeks, 4 days_

  
As he watched Viktor warm up, Yuuri could tell that the downtime had done him worlds of good.

He was no longer stiff and overly careful, and when he landed jumps, there was no flash of pain that seized his face. The step sequence he was running through was the same one he had been working on at the rink in Hasetsu, and Yuuri had his suspicions that it was for the exhibition skate. Viktor had done a good job of keeping it secret, even from Yuuri, but now, he was giving the audience a small taste of whatever he had planned. Yuuri could tell he was enjoying the whispers and pointing; his fans had definitely noticed it wasn't his short program or free skate.

He held his travel cup of coffee in one hand, sipping from it periodically and enjoying the warmth it gave, and absently rubbed his big belly with the other, amazed at how much lower it felt now. Now that he had fully dropped, it almost seemed to stick out even further than before; it had gone from almost perfectly round to being shaped somewhat like a teardrop, with much more fullness on the underside. No wonder Phichit and the others had been so shocked. It really did look a lot different now, and the increased weight on his back was enormous.

Man, he couldn't wait to feel _normal_ again.

He sighed inwardly as yet another woman walked by, eyeing the cup of coffee in his hand and raising a brow, as if she thought he had no peripheral vision. People passing by had been giving him looks all morning, the kind of looks that said, "Coffee? You're pregnant, you shouldn't be drinking coffee, how dare you. Don't you care about your baby?"

He resisted the urge to write a note to stick on the cup that said "It's decaf, fuck off." It irritated him how ordinary people magically became well-informed obstetricians around expectant mothers.

Standing beside him, Yakov had his arms crossed and was watching Viktor like a hawk, lips pursed and bushy eyebrows furrowed, analyzing his movements. Next to Yakov, Lilia was giving Yuri the same level of scrutiny, slim fingers held to her lips.

It was like seeing a mother and father bird watching their babies fly.

Yuuri was just glad that the warmup was separate from the short program; it was midmorning and he was already getting tired. Thankfully, the event wasn't until seven that night. It would give all of the skaters plenty of time to loosen their muscles and limber up, plus, it would allow Viktor to rest his knee (and Yuuri to rest his entire body) in between.

The skaters who had qualified for the Final in the Men's Singles category were Viktor, Yuri, Minami, Phichit, Christophe, and Otabek, in that order. J.J. had missed out of the Final by just a couple of points, having injured one of his ankles in his performance at Skate America, but Yuuri was still proud of him. He had won silver on a badly-sprained ankle, and that was admirable. His performance video had been trending for days.

He was actually sad he wouldn't get to see J.J. or Isabella at the Final. Isabella was sweet and fun to be around, and J.J., for all his hot air and boasting, was surprisingly alright once you got to know him. He had some of the same anxious tendencies Yuuri did, he just covered them with his raucous personality, so Yuuri couldn't help but feel a sort of kinship with him. He wasn't a bad guy at all. He just didn't know how to make friends, and Yuuri was determined to be a friend to him any chance he got.

He took the last few sips of his coffee, his eyes glued to Viktor, who was twirling in a camel spin in the middle of the rink with his hands clasped at his back and his eyes closed in bliss. He looked so happy that Yuuri couldn't help but smile.

"He's doing better," Yakov grunted, "he's not favoring that knee nearly as much."

"I noticed that, too. I'm so glad he's not hurting as badly."

"Been making him rest?"

Yuuri nodded. "Yes, sir. Any chance I can."

Whatever Yakov said in reply escaped him; he felt the slow, rigid squeeze in his belly, and he breathed out a hissing " _aahh_ " and set the coffee cup down on the barrier, shutting his eyes tightly. Speaking of hurting…

He felt a large, rough hand at his back. "Deep breaths," was all that Yakov muttered.

Yuuri did his best to heed the advice, but it was a strong one, the kind that took his breath away and made his heart pound against his ribcage. His hand tightened on the edge of the divider and he clenched his jaw, unable to move for a moment because of the tight constriction of his uterine muscles.

Lilia's voice came to his ears. "Get him some water," she murmured, presumably to Yakov. "I'll stay with him." Yakov's hand was replaced by her smaller, softer one, rubbing gentle circles into his shoulder blades.

He crossed his arms on the divider and buried his face in them, leaning heavily on the surface and stretching his back out behind him. With how low his belly hung now, he could feel the underside of it brush his thighs as he rocked his hips back and forth, panting unevenly and squirming. He found it hard to stay still, as if his body was subconsciously trying to shrug away from the pain. The ache was so intense that he couldn't stifle the whimper that worked its way up his throat, morphing into a long, low moan.

Lilia quietly shushed him with a gentleness that would have shocked him had he been more aware. "Don't pant, child, slow your breaths. Deep intakes, through your nose. Are you certain this one is false?" Yuuri did his best to regulate his breathing and nod, tears pricking his eyes. "He's fine, Vitya. Braxton Hicks."

In the back of his mind, he had thought he heard the scratch of skates drawing near, and he had been right; Viktor had been skating over to check on him. Doing his best to breathe evently, he turned his face to the side and rested his cheek on his arm, mustering up a faint, trembling smile for Viktor, who looked just as worried as Yuuri had known he would.

"I'm alright," he whispered, and Viktor's eyes softened with sympathy. He skated closer and leaned down to press a warm kiss to Yuuri's forehead, briefly running his chilly, gloved fingers through his hair.

"Feel better, _solnyshko_. I love you." With another delicate peck to the tip of Yuuri's nose, he was off again, looking back over his shoulder with a sad, tender smile.

Yuuri felt so lucky to have him.

Yakov returned just as the contraction was ebbing away and Lilia was helping him to the bench to ease down onto the pillow he had brought. He was glad Viktor had thought of it, because the bones of his crotch were already aching fiercely.

"Better?" Yakov said curtly, and Yuuri nodded, wiping the sweat from his clammy brow and closing his eyes for a moment, feeling like he'd been put through the wringer. That had been nearly as strong as the one back in the bathroom at the NHK Trophy, and his legs were still unsteady. At least he hadn't thrown up on the floor, he supposed.

"It's gone now." He accepted the paper cup of water, murmuring a "thank you" and sipping from it; the cold liquid refreshed him.

Lilia patted his back a bit roughly, her eyes still out on the ice. "Just rest. You shouldn't have been standing for that long, anyway." She lifted her chin and raised her voice. "Watch that free leg, Yuratchka!" She was answered by a surprisingly compliant "ma'am!"

As Yuuri recovered his breath, one hand on his belly to feel the perturbed kicks he was receiving from waking the baby up with the contraction, he turned his attention back to the ice. Otabek and Yuri were trading banter back and forth. Chris and Viktor were laughing over something one of them had said. Phichit was helping Minami up from a fall, and Minami was giggling.

He knew it would be hard for them to compete against each other, especially for Viktor and Chris, who had been friends for so long. That was the bad thing about having friends who were also your competition, it made you feel very torn. It felt horrible to beat them, but you still didn't want to lose to them.

He honestly didn't know who to pull for. He considered every one of them very special to him, in different ways.

"Vitya," Yakov called, waving him over when he circled close, and he skated to the barrier, running his fingers through his hair to tame it. It was adorably messy, and his cheeks…and lips…were flushed from exertion.

Yuuri neatly shoved any lustful thoughts away and ducked his head, ashamed of himself. They were in public, for crying out loud.

"I think you should stop and rest." Yakov handed him his towel and water bottle, which he took gratefully and gulped from. "I can tell you're getting tired. How's the knee."

"Alright," Viktor panted, looking down and moving the joint before mopping his sweaty face with the towel, "just getting a little stiff. I'll ice it once we're back at the hotel."

"Good man." He looked back at Yuuri, eyes stern. "Make sure he rests. I must stay with Mila, the ladies' singles group warms up next."

"Yes, sir."

Yuuri didn't have to do too much convincing. As soon as they were back in the hotel and propped up in the bed, Viktor strapped his ice pack on and fell fast asleep against Yuuri's chest, one arm curled around the mountainous baby bump. Yuuri didn't feel much like sleeping, surprisingly, but he was grateful for the soft bed and the heating pad behind his back, and for the comfort of Viktor's warmth. It felt nice to relax his tired muscles.

He gazed down at Viktor, smiling softly to himself. The way Viktor's long, pale lashes fanned on his cheeks when he slept was always so pretty, like little threads of rich, pure silk. Yuuri reached to brush his hair from his forehead, tucking it behind his ear and pressing a kiss to his hairline. He stirred sweetly, eyelids twitching and lips parting, but didn't wake, instead just pressing closer to Yuuri's belly.

Protective even in sleep.

"My sweet Vitya," Yuuri whispered, barely audible.

Taking a deep breath, he pulled out his phone, fitted his earbuds in his ears, and accessed the playlist of birth vlogs and breastfeeding tutorials that Yuuko had built him on YouTube.

If he couldn't sleep, he might as well study up.

 

  
-

 

  
"Kenjirou…Minami." Yuuri could hear the loudspeaker boom across the ice even from the practice room.

The hustle and bustle in the Nippon Gaishi Hall Arena made Yuuri's heart pitter with excitement. Skaters were rushing about, doing last minute touch ups to their hair or their costumes. Yakov and Lilia, along with the other coaches, were giving pep talks to their students. The sounds of the crowds milling about had been a low hum in the background outside of the practice room, but now that Minami was performing, the piano and violin of his music was all that could be heard.

Yuuri straightened the silver beaded collar of Viktor's short program costume, smoothing his hand down the slick, cool maroon silk chiffon. He zipped Viktor's jacket back up and straightened the collar of it as well. "There. That was bothering me."

"Thank you for fixing it." Viktor rolled his shoulders to make sure it would stay in place, then leaned down to press smiling lips to Yuuri's cheek. "Can't have your future husband looking all disheveled, right?"

Yuuri gave a humming giggle, leaning into Viktor's side hug. "Right." Every mention of the word "husband" never failed to make his heart turn a backflip.

Yuri walked by, zipping up his own jacket over his glittering purple and black costume, having just done his stretches. He was skating fourth, after Minami, Viktor, and Phichit.

Spotting a messy, flyaway strand of blond hair, Yuuri tapped him on the shoulder as he strode by and tugged him closer, and Yuri looked around in bewilderment as he was pulled from his zoned-out state, taking his earbud out and looking behind him with an eyebrow cocked.

"The hell are you doing?"

"Hush, I'm fixing something," Yuuri commanded, reaching up to gently tug the piece of looped hair that was still caught in the ponytail holder. He had to lean close and stand on his tiptoes, reaching back and smacking Viktor when he heard stifled laughter at the action. "One of these days you'll both thank me for not letting you perform in front of millions of people looking like a hot mess."

"What would we do without you?" Viktor said, too gravely to be serious.

"I know where you sleep, Nikiforov."

Viktor's lashes lowered. "Oooh, indeed you do~—"

"Will you both _can_ it? There are going to be cameras around, you're gonna get us thrown out for public indecency," Yuri snapped, jerking his head to the side as he did, and Yuuri held his head still with both hands.

"Stop moving, I'm trying to help. It won't take but a minute."

Yuri gave a long-suffering sigh, but still let him do it. Yuuri combed his fingers through the blond strands a couple of times to retrieve any more looped hairs.

"Oi, tell your kid to stop kicking the shit out of my back," Yuri groused, prompting Yuuri to look down. His belly was pressed against the small of Yuri's back, and the baby was indeed kicking up a storm, right beneath his navel. He moved back as much as he could, flushing in embarrassment.

"Sorry, sorry...I kinda forget that it's there sometimes."

"The fact that you manage that is lost on me." Yuuri jabbed him in the side and he yelped.

"They're just excited to see Uncle Yura perform," Viktor cooed through a pout, patting Yuri on the shoulder, and he waved the hand away boredly.

"I may need my spine for that." He wasn't too perturbed; when Yuuri finished with his hair and he turned around, he gave the baby bump a gentle pat before Lilia called him over.

Yuuri supported his belly with one arm and eased down onto one of the benches lined up against the wall, puffing out a labored breath and dropping his head back against the wall with a muted _thump_. His heel compulsively tapped the floor, and his eyes traced the ceiling tiles, absently noting how they stacked.

Viktor sat next to him, draping an arm around Yuuri's shoulders and resting his ankle on the opposite knee.

"You're awfully jittery, babe," he noted quietly, "feeling alright?"

"I'm…actually surprised at how good I feel," Yuuri admitted, rubbing his palm over the baby's sharp kicks. "My feet are the only thing that hurts enough to bother me. My back feels pretty okay. No nausea or dizziness. I have a pack of peanut butter crackers in the outside pocket of your duffel bag in case I get hungry, and a bottle of water right next to yours in the opposite pocket."

Viktor smiled. "You prepared for pretty much everything, huh?"

"Tried to." Yuuri took a deep breath, snuggling closer. "I'm also just anxious for you, I think. It's nerve-wracking to watch you skate when I know your knee hurts."

Viktor's lips pressed to the side of his head. "My knee feels just fine, _solnyshko_. I promise."

Yuuri hoped he was telling the whole truth, because he could hear Minami's music drawing to a close.

"It's time," Yakov informed them as he approached. "We need to get out there. You've been cleared to stand at the rinkside and go to the kiss and cry." He handed Yuuri a lanyard labeled 'guest', and Yuuri raised his eyebrows. "Pulled some strings," Yakov muttered in lieu of an explanantion.

Yuuri blinked. "I…thank you, Coach Feltsman." He slipped the lanyard over his head and smiled to himself, rubbing the white ribbon between his fingers. He was touched that Yakov had gone to the extra trouble.

Minami was skating around and picking up flowers when they exited the practice room. Ecstatic crowd noise engulfed Yuuri from all sides, something that had always both excited and terrified him. It was one of those noises you felt deep in your chest and made you feel as small as an ant.

He gave Minami a quick hug on the way by, and judging from the grin on his face, he had done well.

Very well, Yuuri learned. His score was just shy of 96.

Minami looked a bit disappointed when the score came in, and Yuuri kind of understood where he was coming from. It was a very good score, but having done better in the past, Minami probably felt like he could have done better now. Celestino had always been frustrated with Yuuri in that aspect, because he was exactly the same way. _"It's either all or nothing with you, Yuuri, I don't understand it."_

Yakov gave them a nod, so Viktor slipped out of his Team Russia jacket and Yuuri took it to drape over his arm. The light dusting of rhinestones on Viktor's shoulders sparkled beneath the stadium lights, as did the bejeweled collar and wrists. It was unfair how gorgeous he looked.

"Ready to skate your best?" Yuuri asked with a smile, taking Viktor's skate guards as he stepped down onto the ice. Viktor turned around and tugged him down into a chaste kiss, then leaned down to plant another on the very apex of the baby bump. The audience erupted in 'awww's', and Yuuri gave a breathless grin. It still thrilled him from time to time how easy and free Viktor was with his affection, even with cameras pointed at them and the whole world watching.

"Only for you," Viktor replied softly, squeezing Yuuri's hand before he let go.

The ring on his finger sparkled as he circled the rink, waving to the crowd, and as he took his starting pose, he gave Yuuri a quick wink that had wild screams erupting from the stands.

The opening note of Until the Last Moment echoed through the arena, and Viktor was off.

The performance was tight and fluid, a vast improvement over his last free skate, and Yuuri could tell that he was actually having fun. Only once did Viktor's face crease in pain, and that was on the landing of the final combination jump, even though he had managed to land it nearly perfectly.

Yuuri thoroughly enjoyed watching him. Nostalgia swirled in his chest, reminding him of all the times he had been sitting in front of the TV as a child, watching Viktor skate with wide eyes filled with wonder. He still felt that same level of admiration today, but it was different somehow. Now that he knew Viktor and was so close to him, it felt even better to watch him skate.

Especially since Yuuri knew he was the reason for Viktor's comeback.

As Viktor twirled in the final spin, closing his eyes and smiling, Yuuri's heart leapt in his chest. The audience was already applauding before he had even stilled in his finishing pose, half drowning out the last few bars of music, and plushies and blue roses rained down from the stands.

Yuuri caught Viktor in a triumphant hug when he jumped up the steps, unable to stop smiling.

"That was _amazing_ ," he laughed, taking in Viktor's sharp, potent scent and squeezing his lean waist, and Viktor leaned down to peck his forehead with cold lips.

"I thought I was a goner for a second on that last jump," he panted, wiping his forehead and accepting the skate guards he had forgotten to put on before he had leapt off the ice into Yuuri's arms. "But I managed it."

Yuuri's brow wrinkled. "How bad does it hurt?"

"It's definitely there, but it's not too bad." He slipped the jacket Yuuri handed him on, zipping it up and shaking his knee briefly before leaning his weight on it. "Ice and heat for me when we get back to the hotel." Yakov gave him a rough, wordless pat on the back and a nod of approval.

His score was 102.3. Not his personal best by a long shot, but still more than enough to shoot him to first. His lips formed a breathless grin, and he hugged Yuuri to one side and Yakov to the other.

"Very respectable score," Yakov noted with characteristic gruffness, "especially considering your knee. Well done, Vitya."

"Thank you. Could have been better, but…" Viktor lifted one hand and dropped it in a resigned gesture.

Yuuri shushed him with a poke to the thigh. "You're right to pace yourself. Tomorrow is what really matters, after all."

Viktor nodded. "Exactly."

Viktor changed into his trainers and they exited the kiss and cry with a large, fluffy poodle plush in tow, finding Minami and sitting next to him to watch the rest of the performances. Viktor narrowed his eyes playfully when Yuuri tugged the plush out of his hands and wrapped his arms around it, but he was quickly forgiven when he leaned into Viktor's side and kissed him on the cheek.

Phichit came next, ready to charm the audience with his Circus skate, and Yuuri felt a swell of pride at how attractive his best friend was. The silver and black straps of his costume crisscrossing over his body, coupled with his immaculate as usual winged eyeliner and slicked back hair, made for a very alluring, sensual appearance. Phichit had always protested in college when Yuuri told him he was good looking, so it was nice to see him displaying some confidence.

Not even halfway through the performance, Yuuri felt the insistent, pressing urge to pee, and he huffed a frustrated sigh, glancing down at his belly. It had been twenty minutes tops since he last took a trip to the restroom. He thought about ignoring it, but immediately thought better when the baby's head shifted slightly and compressed his bladder further, reminding him just how little space he truly had down there. He wasn't about to chance an accident.

He whispered to Viktor where he was going, saying he'd be back in a minute, and began the heavily spectated walk to the bathroom, doing his best to ignore the people openly staring at him. He had to turn down two interviews on the floor before he could break away from the crowd and into the quiet hallway.

He breathed a sigh of relief and quickened his pace, urged on by the pressure on his bladder. _Vultures_ …

Luckily, the bathroom was empty, so he didn't have to endure any comments and 'advice' from sage old grandmothers, young people who had watched a few pregnancy vlogs in their short lifetimes, and mothers who overshared everything. Sitting down to pee was a strange enough experience without the added anxiety of complete strangers telling him how long their episiotomy had had to be.

He sighed down at the damp spot on the pad in his underwear, knowing that he was going to have to wipe away the discharge from his birth canal and dreading it. It always felt so damn gross. Of all the reasons he was ready to give birth, that was one of the biggest.

After some mental preparation, he reached down between his legs, attempting to hold his belly up and not having much luck, and gently wiped over the small slit on his perineum, scrunching his nose at the unfamiliar feeling and how…wet…it felt…

He froze.

He could actually feel something semi-solid being pulled out of him as he drew his hand away, and it sent a shudder up his spine and made his face draw up in disgust. He slowly brought the toilet paper back up, shocked at the amount of discharge on it. The thick, sticky mass was streaked with blood, and there was a _lot_ of it, oh God. It was nearly hanging off of the toilet paper.

His heart thumped in his throat as he pulled off more toilet paper with shaking hands.

Gradually, the more he wiped, the less there was, but it was still far more than he was accustomed to so far. Alarm bells blared in his head. This was familiar. The doctor had said something about this not too long ago.

He slipped his phone out of the pocket of his jeans and texted Viktor, erasing the different combinations of panicked, incoherent words several times before finally sending it.

_> >I really hate to ask, but would you mind bringing me another pad? They're in the inside zip pocket of your duffel bag._

_< <Of course baby_

Then another text pinged immediately, and Yuuri groaned at Viktor's uncanny perceptiveness.

_< <Are you alright?_

He decided to be honest.

_> >I don't know._

_< <Hang on, I'm coming _pinged half a second later, and Yuuri winced. Once again, here he was worrying Viktor to death.

Less than a minute later, the bathroom door creaked open and Yuuri heard jogging footsteps. Viktor's hand appeared under the door, holding a pad, and Yuuri took it gratefully with a soft "thanks", glad that he wasn't going to have to resort to scratchy toilet paper for a pad substitute.

"What exactly did you mean 'you don't know'?" Viktor asked, his voice wary. Yuuri unwrapped the pad and stuck it in his underwear.

"Uhh…" he offered weakly.

"Are you having a contraction? Are you hurting at all?"

"No, it's…" he wiped again, and more sticky discharge came away on the toilet paper. He wrinkled his nose. "It's kinda gross, are you sure you…?"

"You know I don't mind, honey."

"Well, okay…I think I, uh…" Yuuri wiped once more for good measure, then began the monumental task of pulling himself up with the support rail on the wall. "I may have just…lost my mucous plug." His voice came out strained.

He practically heard Viktor's heart rate increase. Anxiousness bled through his scent, evident even with the stall door between them.

"W-what? Does that…are you okay? Are you having the baby?" His voice wavered, though just barely.

Yuuri opened his mouth, then closed it.

He didn't know, exactly.

"I'm not sure. Google it for me, will you? I think it has something to do with, like…really early labor, but I'm not sure, I can't remember what the doctor said. I'm not contracting or anything, so…" he left the sentence hanging, pulling the soft cloth waistband of his jeans up over his belly as far as it would go and tugging his shirt back down over it, then flushed the toilet.

When he emerged from the stall, Viktor was already furiously reading from his phone, blue eyes darting back and forth and widened with urgency. "Ah…signs, symptoms, uh…here it is, mucous plug. It says…let me see…" he furrowed his brow and lifted his finger to his lips, and Yuuri saw it tremble. He read aloud as Yuuri washed his hands. "If the mucous plug is lost largely in one piece, it should look like a mass of mucous, jelly-like and cloudy, can be streaked with blood."

"Yep, that was it," Yuuri sighed out, resting his elbows on the sink and hanging his head in defeat. "There's no way it wasn't."

He had just lost his mucous plug. A chill crawled up his spine.

"Labor can start several hours after the plug is released, or it can be several days," Viktor continued. "Sometimes, the plug will even build back up if you've lost it too early." He looked up and dropped the hand holding his phone to his side. "In other words, it could mean everything, and it could mean nothing."

"Great." Yuuri pushed himself up and yanked a few paper towels out of the dispenser, drying his unsteady hands. "One more unknown variable to be worried about."

"Oh, sweetheart," Viktor murmured, slipping an arm around his waist, and Yuuri nestled his cheek on Viktor's shoulder, resisting the urge to cry. "It will be alright. At least we have some warning, so we can be on baby watch in case you go into labor soon."

"I'm just so scared that it will be tomorrow, and you won't get to skate because of it. You've worked so _hard_ , I don't want to—" Yuuri's throat tightened, and he closed his eyes.

"I know it's not ideal, babe. I'm sorry." Viktor's lips met the top of his head, and Yuuri's hair was ruffled by the laugh he exhaled. "But hey, little bean may be coming out to meet us soon. That's exciting."

Yuuri drew in a shaking breath and smiled, lips quivering. "It is." This wasn't a sure sign, but it was definitely cause for watchfulness.

Viktor's hand smoothed down his back. "If you're not contracting, the website says not to worry too much. But hey. Look at me." The serious tone made Yuuri meet his eyes. "If you feel any kind of weird pain, even if you just _think_ you are, please tell me. Don't make me have to guess."

Yuuri nodded and looked down, lips pursing in a reluctant smile. "I will."

His mind poked at him. _Get your stinger in. He has every right to be worried, you could be in labor in the next few hours._

They made it back in time to catch the tail end of Yuri's performance. As he stepped off of the ice and slipped his skate guards on, his eyes searched the crowd where they had been sitting before, and once he spotted them, shot them a look that was either anger or worry (or knowing him, both). He had probably noticed they were gone while he was skating.

His score edged Viktor out of first place by four whole points, and the crowd erupted in a mixture of reactions, equal parts elation from Yuri's fans and despair from Viktor's.

When they saw the score, Yuuri tightened his arm around Viktor's and looked up at him, but Viktor's face held no animosity at all. Just pure pride, with a side of competitive smirking.

Knowing him, he was actually glad to be challenged.

For the rest of the short programs, Yuuri was on edge, hyperaware of every little ache and twinge in his torso, wondering if it was a contraction. According to Yuuko, real contractions were nothing like Braxton Hicks, and he'd need to try to tell the difference.

Only problem was, everyone described them differently.

Yuuko said they were like burning, aching cramps. Someone else said it just felt like you needed to poop. Some said it felt like your belly was being wrung out from top to bottom. Some said their contractions didn't even hurt at all until they were nine centimeters dilated and had no idea they were about to give birth. The list went on and on.

Way too many conflicting accounts, in Yuuri's opinion.

How the hell was he supposed to figure it out when the time came…?

The day concluded with Yuri in first, Viktor in second, and Phichit in third, and Yuuri was so proud he could cry. Three of his absolute favorite people, their scores so close that it made him anxious. Minami, Chris, and Otabek followed after, all very close together as well.

Before they left to head back to the hotel, as Viktor was being interviewed by one of the commentators, Lilia drifted up beside Yuuri, who was sitting off to the side on on a bench, waiting patiently. He cradled his bump in both hands, weary of the constant kicks he had been receiving almost all day, as well as the slight jerks of the baby's head from side to side that sent shocks of pain up his spine. You would think a baby that far down in a pelvis would take a hint and stop moving so much, but here they were, wiggling as much as they possibly could in the tight space.

He felt a light touch on his shoulder and looked up to see that Lilia's sharp brows were lowered even more than normal.

"Pain?" She asked simply, and Yuuri shook his head.

"No, ma'am. Not contractions, anyway. Baby's just…really giving me a hard time. They haven't stopped moving since we got here, I don't think…" as if to prove him correct, the baby's foot dug into the space above his navel, pushing his skin up in a little mound underneath his sweater. He sighed, poking the spot gently. "Yes, I see you."

Lilia sat down next to him and crossed her long legs, probably waiting on Yuri to be released by the press. It was a silent gesture, but it still meant a lot.

She didn't want him to be alone.

She stayed with him, periodically patting his knee when he winced in pain, until Viktor's interview was over.

"Get some rest tonight," she instructed Yuuri as Viktor approached with his duffel bag slung over his shoulder and Yuuri's water bottle in hand.

Yuuri couldn't help but smile fondly inside. It was almost like having another mother figure.

"I will."

 

  
-

 

  
"Are you _sure_ laying on the floor like this is comfortable?"

The back of Yuuri's head rubbed Viktor's thigh as he nodded. "As comfortable as it can be," he sighed.

Flat on his back with his head in Viktor's lap, he was having to hold his belly in place with both hands so the weight of it wouldn't pull him to one side or the other. He still sounded breathless, but not quite in so much pain, thank God.

When he had first stretched out on the floor to stretch his back after the long day, Viktor had been alarmed and saddened to see him actually shed a few tears, huffing and whimpering with his face twisted in agony. His back must have been hurting extremely bad for him to cry. Seeing him in so much pain tore Viktor up inside.

Gradually, it had passed. As unfair as it was, Yuuri's back usually had to hurt worse before it got better. Now that he wasn't in excruciating pain anymore, he assured Viktor that the carpeted floor was helping his back feel much better.

Viktor sifted his fingers through the soft, silky locks, watching how the hair caught the light from the lamp and glinted. "Just seems like your belly would be pretty heavy, pressing down on you."

"It is, but it's not unbearable. It's not hard to breathe or anything, like it would have been before they dropped. If they were still up in my ribs, I would have never attempted laying on my back," Yuuri laughed. "They would have suffocated me."

The bump was rippling with vigorous kicks, right under Yuuri's navel. Viktor reached over and rested his hand over the movement, still somewhat astonished that Yuuri was carrying an actual, tiny, living human inside his body. A baby who had started out so very small, but who had now swelled Yuuri's womb to the max, nearly ready to come out and meet their parents who loved them unconditionally.

"Calm down in there," he chided, patting gently, "this is no time to throw a rave. Your mama is tired, _zvyozdochka_ , it's been a long day."

Yuuri's breath came out in a happy hum. "What does that one mean?"

"Little star."

"Mmm. I like it." Yuuri rubbed his rounded side, closing his eyes and smiling. "Our little star."

Once Yuuri's back had recovered enough and they had struggled up from the floor, they shared a shower, something that Viktor always adored doing. It was one of the most intimate things you could do with someone, in his opinion, and he dearly cherished the time spent with Yuuri.

They washed each other's hair tenderly, sitting in the bottom of the huge bathtub with the water softly beating on their shoulders, and once they were all rinsed off and clean, they ran a tub full of piping hot water and just relaxed, snuggled against each other so Viktor could feel little bean's kicks.

The water dripped from the faucet periodically, providing the only noise in the room besides contented breathing and the occasional short moan from Yuuri when the baby punched his internal organs.

"Tiny fists of fury," Yuuri mumbled, resting his hand on the swell that stuck out of the water by several inches. "I swear they're trying to uppercut me in the cervix sometimes."

The mental image made Viktor give a soft, snorting laugh.

Turning on his side and tucking his face in Viktor's neck, Yuuri slowly became more and more limp against him, relaxing so much that he was practically melting. His eyes would shut and his head would become heavy on Viktor's shoulder, then he would blink himself awake and shift in place, but then he would slowly doze off again.

Viktor decided to let him rest as much as he possibly could. He had seen the pained wrinkle on Yuuri's brow at the rink earlier, when he thought Viktor wasn't looking. He was weary, poor thing. Worn down by the precious cargo he carried.

He cradled his snoozing fiancé in his arms, lips nestled in his damp hair, and just closed his eyes and _felt_. Zoned in on Yuuri's warmth against him, and the weight of the side of his belly on Viktor's abdomen. It felt so heavy. He had no idea how Yuuri carried it around in front of him all the time. No wonder his back ached 24/7.

The baby wriggled and stretched away, unfazed by their mother's slumber. Viktor rested his hand on the other side of the bump, pressing in gently and concentrating on the feeling.

With the heaviness on his stomach and the baby squirming against it, it wasn't hard to imagine what being pregnant felt like. It made his heart zing with happiness every time the baby shifted, tiny fists and feet sliding against his abdomen through the walls of Yuuri's belly.

He opened his eyes and smiled softly down at the swollen bump.

As far as he was concerned, Yuuri was a walking miracle, just like every other expectant mother. It filled him with an immense wonder.

Yuuri shifted in his arms, and he suddenly felt something different; the bump was gradually seizing up, and within ten seconds or so, it had tightened so much that it felt like a basketball was resting on Viktor's stomach. Yuuri woke up moaning, bleary pain filling his tired eyes, and he tucked his face into Viktor's neck and wrapped an arm around his rigid stomach, panting weakly.

A heavy sadness filled Viktor's torso. What a way to be woken up.

He reached up to stroke Yuuri's cheek. "Breathe, baby," he murmured, and Yuuri's breaths spaced out and became deeper, in through his nose and out through his mouth. He squirmed in Viktor's arms, groaning with each exhale.

"It hurts so bad," he rasped, his fingers clenching and unclenching on Viktor's bare chest. "Ohhh, God, why did it have to be a long one?"

"I know, honey, I know," Viktor murmured sadly, combing Yuuri's hair back with his fingers and pressing a kiss to his damp forehead. Yuuri's breathing was becoming irregular, and Viktor could smell panic growing underneath his scent.

"I'm hot," he whimpered in a rush of breath, struggling in Viktor's hold and causing the water to lap against the sides of the tub. Viktor hastily reached for a washcloth and wet it with cold water, unfolding it and laying it across Yuuri's chest. He immediately relaxed, if only slightly, and rested his hand over the damp cloth, his eyes slipping shut. "Oh, that helps so much…" he pulled part of it up to rest on his flushed cheek.

The contraction slowly loosened its grip on Yuuri, and his muscles uncoiled, leaving him slumped against Viktor, boneless, as if he had exhausted every last bit of his energy. He fell silent, and Viktor simply ran his fingers through his wet hair, rubbing his belly and touching delicate kisses to his forehead.

Yuuri's breath had just been getting back to normal when he whispered something Viktor didn't quite catch.

"What?"

"I said, I want to get out, but I don't know if I can get up. My legs feel like Jell-O. I'm pretty sure they would buckle." Yuuri looked so ashamed, his eyes downcast and his shoulders squared.

Wordlessly, Viktor slipped out from behind him and got up, stepping out of the tub and wiping off with a towel. Throwing their clean clothes over his shoulder, he held out his hand for Yuuri to take, then once he was far up enough and dried off a bit, took a breath in preparation and leaned down, scooping Yuuri into his arms.

"Your knee," Yuuri said weakly, clutching at the back of Viktor's shoulders as he was carried to the bedroom. Viktor had to wait to respond; Yuuri was much heavier than normal, and Viktor had had a long day of physical exertion already. Once he was safely lowered to the bed, Viktor sighed and shook his head, reaching for his underwear to pull it on, and Yuuri did the same.

"My knee is fine. It's you I'm more worried about." His gaze bored into Yuuri's, and he saw apprehension flash in the cinnamon brown eyes, like a wary deer that was being watched.

After a long moment, Yuuri looked down, lashes hooding his eyes, damp bangs falling over his forehead.

"That contraction, it…did feel a bit…strange," he confessed haltingly.

Viktor sat down on the bed with him, taking his hand. "Tell me what you felt."

"I…well. I can't describe it, exactly, I don't think…"

"But it felt different."

"Only a little."

Viktor stared him down, and Yuuri shifted.

"That's all I know to say," he mumbled defensively. "I'm not trying to be obtuse. It just felt…weird."

Viktor looked down, resting his hand on the baby bump. "Do you think it was a labor contraction, or…?"

A helpless shrug. "Even if it was, there's really no cause for alarm yet. I have to be contracting every five minutes to even be admitted to a hospital." He shivered, so Viktor handed him his clean pajamas.

"So it could have been, but you're not sure?"

Yuuri's nod was reluctant.

Viktor decided to stop pressing him. He couldn't move labor any faster by nagging and worrying.

If it was happening, it was happening. It it wasn't, it wasn't.

As they went to bed, though, he was tense.

 

  
-

 

  
_38 weeks, 5 days_

 

 

"Nausea?"

"Not really."

"Cramps? Contractions?"

"Not since before we left the hotel."

"Back hurting?"

"A bit, but not too bad." Yuuri brushed a piece of lint off of Viktor's smooth, black-clad thigh. "I'll be fine, Viktor. It's only four minutes. And Phichit will be with me the whole time."

For emphasis, Phichit slung an arm around his shoulders. "I won't let him out of my sight, captain." His mild, sweet pheromones wrapped around Yuuri, protective and loving.

Viktor let out a slow exhale, as if trying to calm himself down, and rubbed the insides of his eyes.

"Calm down, dad," Phichit ribbed him. "Babies aren't born in four minutes. That shit only happens in bad movies."

"Besides, I'm not even contracting," Yuuri added.

"You don't understand," Viktor said gravely, "I've had dreams of Yuuri giving birth in the kiss and cry for _weeks_. I'm not relaxing until today is over."

Yuuri shook his head, the soft chuckle he let out hanging around his mouth in a cloud. "Have it your way." He rubbed his hand over his bump, looking down at it. He couldn't see his feet at all. "But I don't think little bean's quite ready to come out yet."

Viktor knelt in front of him(on his good knee, thank God), pressing several kisses to the bump and rubbing the sides of it with his palms. Cameras strobed around them, but Yuuri ignored them.

"Stay in mama's warm, comfy tummy a little longer, okay? Daddy has to skate," Viktor cooed.

"Oh, they're not budging." Yuuri sniffed, poking the spot where the baby's feet were rubbing the walls of his belly. "I may end up serving an eviction notice eventually." Viktor hummed out a soft laugh.

He joked, but he desperately hoped that wouldn't happen. He didn't want to go past his due date like his mother had with him. If he went any more than nine more days of being this huge and uncomfortable, he was going to tear his hair out.

He had a strange, unexplainable feeling that it wouldn't be happening, though. The night before, he had woken up every thirty minutes or so to consistently painful contractions, and the weirdness to them had increased with each one, though he still couldn't put his finger on exactly what was different. The contractions had continued throughout the day so far, consistently coming every thirty minutes. Not to mention the ungodly levels of pressure he felt on his pubic bone, and how hard it was to walk now.

He had his fingers crossed.

Viktor's name was called over the loudspeaker.

It was time.

Yakov gave Viktor a few final words, then Viktor pulled Yuuri into a tight, warm hug.

"Don't you dare go into labor while I'm out there," he whispered in Yuuri's ear, and Yuuri leaned up to press his lips to the strong jawline.

"You have nothing to worry about. Aren't you always telling me not to worry so much?"

Viktor gave a reluctant nod.

"Trust me, then," Yuuri said softly, cupping Viktor's face in his hands. He pressed his lips to Viktor's mouth, soft and chaste. "I know my body. Little bean's not ready yet."

With a shuddering inhale, Viktor nodded, leaning to touch foreheads with him in wordless devotion. Yuuri could tell it was very hard for Viktor to let go of that anxiety, and he knew the feeling all too well.

As he watched Viktor skate out onto the ice for the final time of the season, Yuuri's chest was filled with a warm, glowing sense of pride, something laced with nostalgia and a tinge of sadness.

Viktor had faced so much hardship this season, with both his knee and having to take care of Yuuri, but he had overcome it beautifully. He was the strongest person Yuuri knew.

He was proud to call Viktor his fiancé, and he would be even more proud to call him his husband.

Jeez, that was an insane thought. He was going to marry Viktor Nikiforov in a few months. Sometimes he was still convinced he was dreaming, and he never wanted to wake up.

The softly plucked guitar sounded over their heads, and Viktor began his last program of the season.

 

  
-

 

  
Viktor felt weightless, like an ice spirit soaring across the ice with abandon.

He skated fiercely, throwing every emotion he had felt in the last few months into his performance. All the worry, sadness, joy, elation, and everything in between.

His throat ached, and he hoped that Yuuri could feel even a fraction of the love and devotion he was pouring into every twist of his body, every lift of his hand.

The jump landings did start to hurt, toward the end of the program. But somehow, he relished it.

If he eventually caved and went through with an experimental knee surgery that had a pretty iffy chance of working, this might be one of the last times he got to do this. He savored every single part. Even the pain.

He wanted it all etched into his memory so he'd never forget it.

He held his breath and kicked off, whizzing through the air in four perfect rotations, the last quad flip of the program, perhaps the last quad flip he'd ever perform in competition. His breath whooshed out through the landing and pain seared up his leg, but somehow, he didn't stumble. Didn't even waver.

It was the cleanest, smoothest landing he had felt in a long time.

His heart pounded. Was he actually going to complete this program perfectly…?

He glanced to the rinkside just before the final spin, and his heart clenched up at the mix of adoration and worry on Yuuri's face.

Oh, Viktor loved him. His heart ached with it.

Tears flicked off of his face throughout the final spin.

He managed to hold the final pose long enough to reach out to Yuuri, then a heaving sob crushed his chest and he collapsed on the ice and pressed his forehead to the frigid, glassy surface, weeping in relief, pain, _elation_.

He had done it. It was over.

The thunderous applause drowned out his tears.

 

  
-

 

  
Yuuri was a mess, and he didn't give a flying fuck.

He hugged Phichit desperately, crying and sniffling, overwhelmed with pride and love.

"He did so well," he coughed out, breath shuddering and hiccuping, "oh, Phichit, I could die, I'm so proud of him."

"Yuuri, look, quick," Phichit urged, and Yuuri raised his head, blinking the tears from his vision.

Viktor was still kneeling on the ice, but one of the sweepers, a tiny girl who was no more than eight years old, dressed in pink with a long, curly black ponytail, was hesitantly skating in front of him, holding a plushie that Yuuri couldn't really see and a flower crown of red and white roses. Viktor raised his head, wiping tears from his cheek with the heel of his hand, and beckoned her closer with a gentle smile. Yuuri saw the girl hold out the flower crown, saying something no one could possibly hear over the still-wild applause, and Viktor ducked his head so she could carefully place it on his head.

Yuuri clutched a hand to his heart, internally screaming. The sight was just too precious.

Viktor said something to the little girl, his face animated and happy, and she nodded, her ponytail bobbing against her back and holding the suspiciously familiar looking plushie out, which Viktor took and hugged to his chest. Yuuri very clearly saw his lips say "thank you so much," and he folded the girl in a grateful hug that was enthusiastically returned. When he got up to skate away, he waved over his shoulder at her, and she jumped up and down, waving back, looking like she couldn't believe that had just happened.

Yuuri knew just how she felt.

He had a feeling that video clip would be trending before the day was over.

Viktor shredded to a stop at the rinkside, hastily slipping his skate guards on, and leaped up the steps, slowing to a stop in time to soften the hug he wrapped Yuuri in so he wouldn't jostle his belly.

"I'm so proud of you," Yuuri wept into his neck, "oh, Vitya…"

"Shhh," Viktor soothed, sniffling and stroking the back of Yuuri's head. "You're going to make me cry again."

It felt almost as sad as it was happy. They both knew, deep down, that it may be one of the last times Viktor stepped off the ice into Yuuri's arms.

Certainly the last time before they met their baby.

"Is that a plushie of me…?" Yuuri asked in astonishment, reaching for the plush that was tucked under Viktor's arm, and Viktor handed it to him, wiping his eyes and nodding.

It was obviously homemade, but it had been crafted lovingly, with brown button eyes and small, blue felt glasses. She had even put him in a new Team Japan skating jacket, sewn by small hands.

"I'm keeping it for the rest of my life," Viktor declared.

Yuuri felt just as honored. She had obviously put an lot of effort into making it for Viktor.

In the kiss and cry, they were bowled over by emotion once again, because by one and a half points, Viktor broke the free skate world record that Yuuri had set in Barcelona. The crowd lost their minds.

They clung to each other desperately, with Yakov's arms around both of them, but they held their excitement to a minimum, because Yuri hadn't skated yet.

He could very well edge Viktor out of first again.

Yuuri was torn right down the middle. He met Yuri's eyes as they left the kiss and cry, and the jade green pools were burning with that same fierce, determined look that he had seen at the last final.

" _Davai_ ," he whispered as Yuri passed them, and without turning around, Yuri jerked his head once in a nod.

Yuuri and Viktor held hands throughout the performance, with Viktor fidgeting with his ring all the while, something he only did when he was very nervous. When Yuuri stole a glance up at his face, it was creased with a clenched-jawed anxiety he hadn't often seen on Viktor before.

But Yuuri knew it wasn't just worry of losing.

They both had seen how hard Yuri had been pushing himself lately. How much he had practiced to regain his balance, how much the media was lobbying for him to win the gold in the Final.

That kind of pressure could stress anyone out of their mind.

As Yuri began to perform, carried by the soft piano and strings of his music, Yuuri's heart was in his throat. Yuri was a bit stiff, his movements not quite as fluid and easy as the previous day.

It was clear that he was anxious. Shaky.

Yuuri flashed back to his own short program the previous season, when he had felt like his whole career was teetering in the balance. He wondered if Yuri felt that way.

When Yuri overrotated and stumbled, falling down on the next to last jump, Yuuri's eyes welled up and he briefly hid his face in Viktor's shoulder, because that had certainly been enough to bring his score down.

His chest tightened as Yuri landed the last jump less than flawlessly. As he wrapped up the performance, ending on a one-handed I-spin, Yuuri saw his slim, pale hands shaking when he fell into his final pose, chest heaving with more than just exertion.

The pressure had cracked him.

He ignored the rain of gifts that showered the ice and skated off, eyes pointed downward and fists clenched, and Lilia met him at the barrier. His eyes were red.

Words were exchanged that looked like an argument, with Yuri vehemently gesturing to himself, his face mottled with anger and shame, but Lilia was calm. She gave him his skate guards and jacket, and wrapped an arm around his waist in a gesture too obvious to be anything but comforting.

When the scores were announced, Yuuri felt torn between absolute joy and heavy sadness, and he and Viktor crushed each other in an embrace, crying their hearts out.

Viktor had won gold by three whole points.

 

  
-

 

  
The medal ceremony was bittersweet.

Viktor could see Yuri biting the inside of his lip through the whole thing, but he kept a perfectly straight face. He even smiled for the cameras when he, Viktor, and Phichit held up their medals, but Viktor could tell he was extremely disappointed in himself. He had seen that same look in Yuuri's eye often enough to know.

He skated off the ice after the award ceremony both proud of himself and heavy-hearted, draping the medal around Yuuri's neck when he reached the rink’s edge.

"For you, _moyo zolotse,_ " he said softly. Their lips met in a tender kiss, and when they separated, Yuuri's lips were relaxed in a sweet smile.

"I'm so proud of you, Vitya." He took Viktor's hand and placed it on his side. "Little bean is, too. They haven't stopped kicking since you skated."

Viktor face softened. He stroked the bump with his thumb, feeling the shifts and wiggles of their baby. "I'm just glad your water didn't break in the kiss and cry."

Yuuri's breath came out in a foggy giggle. "Those kinds of dramatic births don't happen very often, I don't think. Though, I wouldn't have been surprised, considering this is your kid. I actually kind of expected it for a while." He sobered. "While you were on the ice just now, I had another contraction. Not unbearable, but it was bad enough to make me hold my breath."

Viktor plopped on a bench to unlace and take his skates off and raised his eyebrows. "How long since the last one?"

"About thirty minutes, again. Consistent like clockwork, but they're not getting closer together yet…" Yuuri sat down and leaned into his side, letting out a sigh. "At this point, I almost welcome it, now that the competition is out of the way."

"Same here," Viktor murmured, smiling at the thought as he slipped back into his trainers. He would be perfectly fine with meeting his son or daughter in the next few days. It would be the cherry on top of the golden sundae.

Yuri passed by them, probably on his way to the press conference that Viktor was surely late for by now, but stopped and turned back toward them, an unreadable look in his eyes.

"You're gonna hold up the conference, old man," he grumbled, turning away again. "Get moving."

They watched him stalk away, waving off a couple of commentators as he went.

"He seems…okay," Yuuri finally noted warily.

"I can tell he's pretty upset." Viktor heaved a sigh, getting up and offering Yuuri his hand. "It may be good for you to talk to him sometime tonight, if you can. Maybe at the banquet." He quickly backtracked, thinking better of it. "Are you too tired for the banquet?"

"Oh…I don't know. Maybe I can show up for a little while." Yuuri winced as he stood, pressing a hand into his back and letting out a pained grunt. " _Oofhh_ …on second thought…"

Viktor gently placed his hand on Yuuri's lower back, frowning. "Hurting pretty badly?"

"Yeah…I…" Yuuri's voice was strained. "I don't know if…" His hand rubbed his back, brows furrowed and breathing labored. Dark circles smudged the skin beneath his eyes.

He desperately needed to go rest. That much was clear.

Spotting Minami coming out of the practice room, Viktor took the opportunity and called out to him.

"Minami! Can you come here? I have a very important courier mission for you."

 

  
-

 

  
The sky was dark when Yuuri woke up, and the faint twinkling of city lights reflected off of the window panes.

Reaching up to scrub his eyes, he unlocked his phone and squinted at the screen, confused at the lack of messages, but then he realized he had put it on airplane mode so he could get some sleep.

When he disabled the setting, a flood of notifications filled the screen, vibrating the phone over and over, and for a second, he was a little alarmed. They were all from Viktor. He slipped his glasses on to save himself a headache.

_< <This press conference is boring af_

_Ugh_

_I hope you and bean are having more fun than me_

_You're probably asleep, huh? Aww I bet you look adorable_

The next message was a picture of Yuuri, sprawled out on his side in the bed, looking like he had been struck and killed by a moving vehicle. He winced at how awful he looked. Heart emojis peppered the screen, stuck there by Viktor.

_Omg you're so cute (^♡^) How do you take little bean kicking you like that while you sleep? It would keep me awake_

_I'm glad I didn't wake you up, I tripped over my shoes •~•;_

_Minami says you told him to go on to the banquet and I highly disapprove tbh, I don't like you being alone…_

_But you're an adult, I'm being a helicopter again. Just text me if you need anything okay?_

_Headed to the banquet, echh I don't wanna_

_Guess you're still snoozing, I'm jealous_

_Gaaahhh the banquet is boring tooooo_

A selfie of Viktor and Chris posing, holding champagne glasses aloft.

_Champagne isn't as fun without you around… ;)_

_I feel so bad being here without you, but I know you were so tired_

_I'll stop spamming you now, text me when you wake up bb ily ♡♡_

He breathed out a fond laugh, texting Viktor a quick _ >>I'm awake, sorry you're bored :(_ and slipping his phone into the pocket of his pajama pants.

His back popped pleasantly when he stretched it, pressing his hands into the small of it and pushing his belly out, letting out a grating noise as he did. As soon as he relaxed, he immediately tensed again, feeling the startup of a contraction squeeze his insides, as if stretching had somehow triggered it. He sat up against the pillows with great effort, breathing heavily and curling around his stomach as it went rock hard, ready to ride it out for however long it would last.

Out of nowhere, a cold sweat popped out on his forehead, and his eyes widened when his stomach churned.

As top-heavy and drowsy as he was, he had no idea how he made it to the bathroom in time without falling or running into something.

He fell on his knees in front of the toilet and threw up, coughing out a panicked sound between the painful heaves. Once he had recovered enough to think straight, he blinked confusedly, eyes welling up.

What the hell. He hadn't felt nauseated from a Braxton Hicks in a long time.

The cramps twisted his stomach again, bringing up nothing but bile that stung his throat and sinuses and sent tears slipping down his cheeks. His uterus was still contracting, tight and painful, and he realized with sudden dread that the cramps lower in his abdomen weren't just from the contraction.

Scrambling to get both the toilet lid and his pants down so he could sit, he frantically pulled out his phone.

 

  
-

 

  
Viktor's phone buzzed in the pocket of his black formal pants, so he pulled it out, apologizing graciously to the sponsor he was speaking to. The woman tittered, saying something simpering about pregnant fiancés that he chose to ignore.

_< <I'm awake, sorry you're bored :(_

He quickly texted back with >> _I'll be alright ♡ how do you feel_ , but was distracted by someone else calling out to him, eager to congratulate and brown nose.

He hated banquets. Well, he hated banquets when Yuuri was upstairs sleeping.

He couldn't blame him, though. He had been visibly worn out when they left the rink, and he hadn't even hesitated when he told Viktor to go on to the banquet without him. Normally, he would have hemmed and hawed before relenting, but not this time. Viktor hoped his sleep had been peaceful.

He successfully broke away from the next group of people, heading for the drinks table to get a glass of water. His throat was dry and cloying from the champagne he had downed mid-conversation, and he didn't really want to be tipsy.

As he sipped the water, he took his phone out again, pulling down the notification bar when he saw Yuuri had answered and tapping on it.

His heart stuttered in his chest when he saw the messages.

_< <Well I was gonna tell you I'm fine but now I'm throwing up and have diarrhea out of nowhere, so that's fun_

_< <Started while i was having a contraction :/_

That didn't sound good. Yuuri hadn't experienced anything like that so far.

He tapped back. >> _Do you want me to come up there? I'm bored to death down here anyway_

_< <I don't want to tear you away from the banquet_

_> >Babe I want to be torn away :P_

_< <Well…it would be really helpful if you brought me some Gatorade or something. I don't want to get dehydrated, it's bad for little bean :c_

_> >I'll be there as soon as I can. Let me tell Yakov I'm leaving. I'm pretty sure there's Gatorade in one of the vending machines in the lobby._

_< <Okay. Sorry for being a bother_

_> >Shhh you're not. Hang in there honey, ily_

_< <Ily2_

He quickly found Yakov in the corner nursing a glass of red wine and talking with a group of coaches, and when Yakov caught sight of him, he raised his bushy eyebrows. Viktor vaguely realized that he probably looked worried sick. He never was good at maintaining the pokerface when it came to Yuuri.

Yakov politely stepped away from the group, and Viktor quietly explained why he was leaving. He was surprised when Yakov simply nodded, grim sympathy on his face.

Wading through the crowds, Viktor managed to break free and headed for the lobby, picking up a couple of bottles of blue Gatorade (remembering it was Yuuri's favorite), and headed up to their room, hoping whatever strange bug Yuuri had caught wouldn't have him miserable for too long.

On the way up, Yuri texted him.

_< <yakov said katsudon's sick. what's wrong with him_

_> >He's throwing up. Diarrhea. :((_

_< <eugh. tell him i said man the fuck up and get better_

_> >Will do._

Concerned as always, even though he was likely still upset. Viktor had talked to him a bit at the banquet, but Yuri had been very distracted by all the sponsors around him. He hoped he would be alright.

Once in the room, he hastily shrugged his suit jacket off and hung it up, slinging his tie over the shoulder. "Yuuri?" He called, and was answered with a rasping "in here" from the bathroom.

He found Yuuri leaned up against the side of the bathtub with one arm curled around his belly, looking pale and weak and out of breath.

"How do you feel?" Viktor cracked open one of the bottles of Gatorade and handed it to him.

Yuuri downed a few slow mouthfuls, panting in between swallows. "Shaky," he whispered, "still kinda nauseated, but it's better than it was. Sorry about the…" he waved his hand toward the toilet, his pale face flushing. "…the smell."

Viktor gave him a reassuring smile, easing down on the soft blue bath mat next to him and rolling up the sleeves of his white dress shirt to his elbows. "Not like I've never smelled it before, honey." He patted Yuuri's knee.

"Still gross," Yuuri muttered miserably, sipping the Gatorade. "I haven't had diarrhea that bad in fifteen years. It's embarrassing."

"I know, I'm sorry. It's happened to me before, too." Yuuri gave him a curious look, and he gave a rueful chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. "Chris bet me a hundred bucks that I wouldn't eat a raw oyster at a restaurant once when I was eighteen."

"Oh, God." Yuuri winced.

"Oh, God is right," Viktor agreed wryly. "I was throwing up and shitting water for two days. Yakov was positively _livid_ with me." Yuuri failed to stifle his laugh, and Viktor couldn't help but join him. "It's so ridiculous that it's funny, looking back on it. His face was a nice shade of maroon."

"Viktor," Yuuri half-laughed, half-scolded, nudging his arm. Viktor was just glad to hear him laugh.

After a few minutes of soft conversation and recovering on the floor, Viktor helped Yuuri to the bed, where he almost immediately dozed off again. As he relaxed and the pinch of discomfort faded from his forehead, Viktor reached down to stroke his soft cheek, smiling sadly to himself.

Yuuri had endured so much sickness and discomfort throughout his pregnancy that it was easy to become jaded to it, but in moments like this, Viktor admired his strength so much. He was wrung out, sick, tired beyond belief, but he had never once complained that "Viktor had done this to him", like many other expectant mothers did with their partners.

He had weathered the storm so far. Now they just had to get to the end, and it was in sight.

Stripping his clothes off as he went, Viktor washed his hair and body in the shower, feeling much better once he was sweat-free, and then plugged the drain and ran a hot, clean bath, folding a towel to pillow behind his head and sighing in bliss. He allowed his eyes to slip shut, letting the tension seep from his shoulders.

It had been a long day. A long season, for that matter. He was glad it was finally over, and he could turn his full attention to Yuuri and the baby. A smile touched his lips, excitement bubbling in his chest.

The hot water soothed every ache in his limbs, especially his knee, which was still throbbing faintly. He was boneless, more relaxed than he had been in weeks. Maybe months. Without the stress of the Final weighing on his shoulders, he felt about fifty pounds lighter.

He shifted his head on the towel when the bathroom door opened, inhaling a long, slow breath through his nose and blinking hard to wake himself. Yuuri shuffled into the room, one hand on the wall and the other supporting his heavy stomach, and the smile he graced Viktor with was infinitely weary, but still so soft and loving.

"You look like you're ready to fall asleep in the tub," he murmured, his voice rasping. Viktor gave a drowsy smile.

"I just might. It's comfy." He reached up with a dripping hand to run his fingers through his wet hair, pushing it out of his eye. "Couldn't sleep?"

"Mm-mm…bean wouldn't let me." Yuuri pulled the sweatshirt he wore up and over his belly, forcing a breath through pursed lips and running his hand through his tousled hair after successfully getting it completely off. He was probably having a hot flash; the redness in his face had spread down the sides of his neck. Yuuri looked around on the floor, his already creased brow wrinkling even more. "Have you seen that thin green t-shirt I've been sleeping in? I could have sworn I left it in here on the floor this morning."

"Mm…I think it's under my clothes," Viktor mumbled, pointing haphazardly. "At the foot of the tub." He hadn't really been looking when he stripped them off and let them fall. Rubbing his hand over his face to wake himself up more, he leaned to sit up, reaching over the side of the tub. "Here, let me get it, I don't want you to have to bend o—"

Yuuri sucking in a startled breath and voicing a pained " _ooh_ " interrupted him, and his eyes jerked upward and widened.

Hands gripped tightly at the edges of the sink and face tight with concentration, Yuuri was very obviously having a contraction. His posture was rigid and his head was hung, his chest visibly expanding and contracting with his deep, measured breathing. He pressed one hand into his upper belly, and Viktor didn't see it give at all.

For some reason compelled to, he hastily dried his hands and reached for his phone, pressing the button on the side that instantly brought up the camera app. He held it level, eyed the composition, and snapped a silent, monochrome picture of Yuuri from the side.

Immediately feeling awful for taking a picture of Yuuri without his permission, much less while he was battling a contraction, he locked the phone and set it down on his pile of clothes, looking back up.

Yuuri was leaned with his elbows on the sink now, belly hanging low against his thighs and his eyes squeezed shut so hard it looked like it hurt, pressing his forehead into the heel of his hand. He kept holding his breath and letting it out, as if he was struggling to breathe properly. Viktor saw his fingers tremble.

"Yuuri…?"

He was answered with tense silence and no movement or acknowledgement. The hair on the back of his neck stood up, and he didn't know what to do. Helplessness squeezed him in a vice grip.

After a heart-pounding minute, Yuuri's tight posture began to loosen little by little. He opened his eyes halfway, dropping his hand to the counter top and leaning heavily against the surface, his breath coming in labored pants. His pale brow was puckered with residual pain, and his forehead and neck were glittering with sweat. He looked weak and trembly, like he had just run five miles.

"Babe, you should sit down," Viktor coaxed quietly, raising up on his good knee and holding out his hand. Yuuri inched toward him and took his hand for support, fumbling to lower the toilet lid so he could sit on it, and his face tightened and he clenched his teeth as he sat down, exhaling a quivering whimper. Viktor rested a supportive hand on his knee, trying not to act as terribly worried as he felt.

When Yuuri finally spoke, he sounded winded, like it hurt for him to talk.

"That one definitely felt different."

Viktor's heart pittered in his throat. "Different how?"

"It was…really deep in my belly. Low down. It's weird, but…" he breathed slowly for a moment, wiping his forehead and closing his eyes. "It almost felt like…like really bad heat cramps. I haven't felt those since I was sixteen, but I sure as hell remember how they felt." He leaned back and slipped his hand between his belly and thighs, rubbing his groin, his face screwed into a pained expression. "The pressure down there is insane. Feels like the baby's head could just pop out."

Viktor gave his crotch a wary glance. "It can't, right?"

A soft giggle spilled from Yuuri's lips, immediately followed by a wince. "Ooh, hurts to laugh…" He shook his head, resting his other hand on Viktor's and squeezing gently. "No, it can't. I'll have to push it out, and it won't be easy." He stared up at the ceiling, indecision plain on his features.

"Do you think you might be in labor?" The question had been on the tip of Viktor's tongue for several minutes.

Yuuri's lashes fluttered as he blinked silently, belly rising and falling with his slow, steady breathing. He took such a long time to answer that a strange air of finality weighed on the room.

"I…" he paused, resting his hand on top of his bump. His mouth opened soundlessly several times before he spoke. "…I don't know. Maybe."

Viktor's chest filled with a floaty uneasiness.

He picked up the shirt Yuuri had been looking for and handed it to him so he could pull it on, then pulled the plug from the drain. "How far apart were your last two contractions?"

Yuuri's face came out of the neck of the shirt scrunched in thought. He pulled his phone out, tapping the screen and reading silently. "When I sent you that second text, I was having one. That was…twenty-five minutes ago." He folded the shirt down to completely cover his big belly, then took a few shallow breaths before continuing. "The one before that was about thirty minutes, give or take." He met Viktor's eyes, a concerned line appearing between his eyebrows. "They're getting closer together." Apprehension colored his tone.

"Write it down," Viktor suggested, standing to his feet to reach for his towel, water dripping off of him. "That way we can keep track of how far apart they are." He stepped onto the bath mat and dried himself off, hearing Yuuri's fingers tap rapidly, likely making a note in his memo app.

"Agh, can't type anything right…" Yuuri exhaled in frustration. "My fingers are trembling like crazy."

Hastily pulling his underwear on once he was dry, Viktor draped Yuuri's arm around his shoulders to help him to the bed, and though Yuuri protested, Viktor could feel him shaking, likely from nervousness as much as weakness.

If Viktor was anxious, Yuuri was probably about to go insane.

Two contractions later, twenty-five and twenty-three minutes apart, respectively, Viktor's hands were quivering so much he was having to consciously hold them still.

This had happened before once, when they thought Yuuri was in labor in Hasetsu, but then the contractions had tapered off and dissipated. They weren't like these contractions, either. They had been long. These were around sixty seconds each.

As he was walking back from brushing his teeth in the bathroom, he expressed this to Yuuri, who was lying on his side attempting to get some rest. Yuuri's lips pursed, and he picked at the bedspread.

"Yeah, I had the same thought," he said uneasily, "but these just…they feel so much different." He curled up a bit more, rubbing his cheek on the pillow, pushing his glasses slightly askew. "I'm _scared_." It came out in a tiny whisper, and it broke Viktor's heart.

The bed dipped as he sat down, rubbing his hand over Yuuri's shoulder. His belly was relaxed at the moment, hanging slightly to the side, and Viktor could see a tiny lump rising and falling low on Yuuri's side. Probably the baby's hand.

His heart fluttered with a mixture of fear and anticipation.

"I know, _solnyshko_ ," he murmured, leaning down to kiss Yuuri's soft cheek. Yuuri reached up to hold the back of Viktor's head, his lips quivering, so Viktor brought his forehead to Yuuri's temple. "But just think…if you're in labor, little bean will be coming out to meet us soon." He kissed his cheek again. "I'm ready to meet them."

That brought a faint smile to Yuuri's face. His hand drifted down to his bump, and he let out a sad sigh.

"I'm ready to not be so heavy and clumsy and hurting all the time, but at the same time, I…I'll miss being pregnant. I'll miss feeling little bean kick. It's such a sweet feeling, when it's soft and gentle like it is right now." He rubbed his fingertip over the protrusion the baby's hand created, and tears welled in his eyes, reddish brown in the light from the lamp. "I love them so much…I can't wait to finally see what they look like and be able to hold them."

"Hopefully they look like you," Viktor murmured, sifting his fingers through Yuuri's silky hair. "I want them to be beautiful like their mama."

"And I want them to be strong and sweet like their daddy," Yuuri returned softly, reaching up to stroke Viktor's cheek.

His phone buzzed with a text and he unlocked it, only to be faced with the picture he had taken of Yuuri mid-contraction.

"What's—when did you take a picture of me...?" Yuuri sounded confused over his shoulder, and he jumped.

"Um…" Viktor wanted to shrink into the sheets.

"Let me see, I wanna see…" Yuuri leaned closer and studied the shot, his brows drawn down. Viktor couldn't tell if it was concentration or anger.

"I'm sorry, Yuuri, I…don't know what I was thinking." He winced at himself. "I should have been comforting you, not taking pictures of you, you were in pain…"

Yuuri zoomed in on his face. On his belly. Scrutinizing.

Viktor prepared for the disappointment, but it never came.

"That's…" Yuuri paused, as if wracking his brain for the right word. "… _powerful_ ," he finished in a whisper.

Viktor blinked, thrown off, then looked back at the photograph.

In the picture, Yuuri's brow was scrunched up in pain. His face was stony, tense with unwavering focus, and his lips were slightly parted with an exhale. Even in the photo, it was obvious that he was in a lot of pain; his belly was visibly cramped up.

The picture sent chills up Viktor's spine. 

He had captured a moment that normal people didn't see very often, and it was…intimate and raw and strangely beautiful.

"You know…when you Google 'labor contractions', you see all these sterile stock photos of pregnant people in brightly colored rooms, faking the pain for the camera." Yuuri pointed to the screen. "But that's a much more accurate representation of how it actually feels."

Viktor was filled with an immense sense of sadness and admiration.

Yuuri was such a trooper. He had been through the whole pregnancy.

The text that he had received returned to the forefront of his mind, and he swiped and tapped until he was at his messages. It was Phichit.

_< <how's yuu? yuri told me he's pretty sick…_

_> >He's alright now, but he's contracting every thirty minutes or so still, and they're starting to get closer together. Don't quote me, but I think we may be on baby watch for the immediate future._

_< <omg_

It took him a minute to text back.

_so you think he may be in labor??_

_> >Maybe. He says these contractions feel very different._

_< <wow, okay. that's hella exciting, holy shit_

_> >Keep it on the down low, if you don't mind. As in, don't post it anywhere online. ^ ^;_

_< <nah man i wouldn't post something that personal, i gotchu _

_keep me posted pls, and tell him I said hang in there_

_> >I will._

He hastily dropped his phone to the bed when Yuuri tensed up and closed his eyes again, glancing at the clock. Twenty-two minutes. One minute less.

Rubbing Yuuri's back gently, he inwardly prepared himself for a long night of watching the clock and waiting.

 

  
-

 

  
**v-nikiforov**  
  
♡17,394,560 likes  
Pregnancy can be adorable, with its baby bump pictures, little kicks and squirms, and impossibly tiny baby shoes. It's such an amazing amalgamation of joy, anticipation, and unconditional love, all for someone you haven't even met yet.

But pregnancy isn't always cute.

Pregnancy is getting up in the middle of the night with you because you're hurting or sick, or because the baby won't let you sleep.

Pregnancy is helplessly watching you suffer through these painful false contractions, as your powerful body prepares to give birth to the baby you've kept safe in your womb for nearly nine months, right under your heart.

Pregnancy is seeing you more emotionally, mentally, and physically wrung-out than I've ever seen you, and yet somehow, when our precious baby kicks against your belly in response to our voices, you still find strength left in you to smile and laugh.

I don't know how you do it.

Pregnancy is a beautiful, miraculous, terrifying experience, and I feel immeasurably blessed that I've had the privilege of being by your side through this incredible journey.

You're the strongest person I'll ever know, Yuuri.

And I love you and little bean more than I can ever express.

#victorybaby

  
(This comment has been pinned)  
**v-nikiforov** something for some of you to note: yes, of course I ask Yuuri before I post these sorts of things. I wouldn't even think of posting something this intimate without his explicit permission.   
189,034 likes

 **katsuki-y** and for the record, viktor is not "exploiting my pain". i'm shocked and appalled that so many of you think he would be so callous and inconsiderate. he asked me if he could post this, as he does for everything else, and i said yes. think before you speak for someone else.  
     136,225 likes

          >>See 547 more comments

 **katsuki-y** i love you so much. i don't know what i'd ever do without you ♡  
70k likes

 **v-nikiforov** ♡♡♡  
     64k likes

 **christophe-gc** jesus, kids, you just made me sob like a little bitch. I hope you're happy ;_; #victorybaby #iloveyallsomuch #staystrongyuuri #prayingforyou  
12k likes

 **v-nikiforov** we love you too, chris ♡  
     8k likes

 **phichit-chu** god, I'm crying. Yuuri, you're a strong, amazing, beautiful person, and so are you, Viktor. I can't wait to see you start this next chapter in your lives ♡ #victorybaby #youregoingtobesuchgoodparents #loveyou  
10k likes

 **katsuki-y** love you too ♡  
     9k likes

 **yuri-plisetsky** so he's having a contraction in this pic  
7,538 likes

 **v-nikiforov** yes.  
     4,512 likes

 **yuri-plisetsky** wow  
          3,431 likes

 **megumin-best-girl** this is so powerful, I'm in tears. Braxton Hicks are no joke. Stay strong, Yuuri, it's all worth it in the end :')  
2,482 likes

 **izzy-yang** You don't have much longer to wait, do you? I have faith in you, @katsuki-y. You are strong. You can get through this.  <3  
3,241 likes

 **Jjleroy!15** ditto from me, dude. you didn't win silver in the grand prix final for nothing. you're strong as hell! sending prayers and good vibes from canada!  
     3,084 likes

 **katsuki-y** thank you isabella, j.j., your encouragement means a lot.   
          5,278 likes

 **QQdance** oh nooo…poor baby, feel better :(  
1,474 likes

 **Hanabi-Dream** if that baby drops any lower it's going to fall right out of him o.o #victorybaby #thathastohurt  
1,217 likes

 **Jesus-take-the-whole-damn-car** poor Yuuri ;_;  
990 likes

 **my-face-is-my-warrant** mothers go through so much for us. Everyone, go see your mom and hug them every once in a while, they went through hell to carry you.  <3  
1,328 likes

 **TimeToDuel** Full body chills. What a powerful, moving photograph and description. Beautiful.  
802 likes

 **otabek-altin** hate that he's in pain…hang in there.  
4,382 likes

 **+guanghongji+** just looking at his expression is giving me sympathy pains…yuuri, you're amazing ;_;  
3,149 likes

 **meepmeep-minami** noooo! I don't like seeing you in pain, you're such a sweet person…you don't deserve it :(((  
2,467 likes

 **katsuki-y** i appreciate the sympathy, minami-kun :) but it's okay. every time i have one, it just means i'm that much closer to holding little bean.  
     36,284 likes

 **meepmeep-minami** that's true!! You're almost there!!  
          4,409 likes

 **we-deserved-better** okay no, what the fuck??? yuuri is shirtless, visibly in pain, and probably didn't even know you took this picture, what kind of an asshole are you???? did you even get permission to post this???  
34 likes

 **wizard246** i said something similar on another pic a couple months ago but I got dogpiled by a bunch of asshurt shippers, so. :/ but yeah its kinda gross what he's doing  
     23 likes

 **dangerous-lines** This is so problematic tbh. He's exploiting his significant other's pain for likes on instagram. That's kind of disgusting when you think about it…  
          48 likes

 **00Ophelia00** can all of you just. fuck off somewhere else. it was funny the first few times, but now you're just getting obnoxious. commenting on someone's private life like that is just so rude. if you don't like it, just unfollow him and shut the fuck up. I highly doubt he'd do anything without yuuri's permission anyway. did you even read the heartfelt paragraph that he wrote? probably not -_- he clearly loves yuuri. #yallarenosyfucks  
               182,294 likes

 **we-deserved-better** um no fuck you. if he puts shit like this on the internet he can't expect people not to comment on it. i call shit out when i see it :^)  
                    20 likes

                         >>See 238 more comments

 **mila-b** holy hell, there's some disgusting comments in that thread above me. some people need to get out of their mummy's basements and get new hobbies. ANYWAY yeah this pic is gorgeous and anyone who is offended by it can actually trip and fall in a well. pregnancy is gnarly, it's not always this cute, flowery experience. @katsuki-y you are amazing. i'm proud of how far you've come, and I can't wait to meet that beautiful baby when they arrive. stay strong ♡  
37,402 likes

 **katsuki-y** thank you so much mila  
     9,274 likes

 **whatismylife22** are bh really that painful? I thought they weren't that bad :/  
3 likes

 **Tireless-Hope** yes. they can be that bad. some of my false labor pains were almost worse than my actual contractions. for anyone who thinks braxton hicks are no big deal, look at yuuri's knuckles and the set of his eyebrows, and that will speak volumes. #ifeelbadforhim #victorybaby  
     1,472 likes

 **apples-and-grapes** holy shit, his knuckles are white…he's gripping that sink really hard :( #poorbby #itmusthurtalot  
840 likes  
  
**whos_rem1356** braxton hicks are some of the legit worst pain i've ever felt in my damn life. they're like labor pains, but hella long, and mine made me feel sick as a dog. the pain of having a baby isn't limited to labor, it takes your body a fuckton of prep work to get ready for the monumental task of bringing that baby into the world. #thankyoumom #staystrongyuuri #victorybaby  
               749 likes

 

  
-

 

  
_For the love of God, please, let me be in labor_.

It was the strongest cross between excitement and sheer terror he had ever felt in his life. Skating competition jitters didn't hold a candle to this level of anxiety.

Far into the night, the contractions inched closer together. Twenty-two minutes. Twenty minutes. Nineteen minutes. It was a very slow progression, but it never stopped, no matter how much he walked around or how much water he drank.

He desperately hoped it was early labor, and not just his body playing a cruel trick on him again. If that happened, he was going to scream as loud as he could, and he didn't care who he woke with it. He was ready to get this baby out of him.

The pains weren't unbearable yet, thankfully, but they definitely stopped him in his tracks. He had to stop talking and breathe through it when they came, but when he was done, he felt alright, if not a bit winded. Still slightly nauseated, and worried to the point of shaking, of course, but…not terrible. He was even sleeping a bit when he wasn't contracting.

Viktor was nodding off between contractions, utterly exhausted by his long couple of days, and the final time he jerked himself awake and immediately dozed back off, near two o' clock in the morning, Yuuri let him sleep. He needed his rest, and Yuuri could handle having contractions on his own for a while.

Besides, it wasn't like they could go to the hospital. If they went to the hospital this early, they'd just get sent back to the hotel, anyway. He had to be contracting regularly every five to six minutes to be admitted, and at the moment, the last one had been fourteen minutes ago.

He made sure Viktor was asleep, then lugged his tired, sore body to the bathtub. Hot water would feel like a dream right now. There was a sharp, stabbing ache far down in his lower back with each contraction, something else that told him this may be the real deal, and he knew a hot bath would help it a lot.

Very carefully, he eased himself down into the tub and filled it with water, melting into the heat once it was up to his shoulders, and allowed himself a moment to breathe and realize the gravity of what was happening.

He may be having a baby soon.

Despite the anxiety that tightened his chest, he was ready. They had been waiting so long for the baby to come. Too long. He couldn't wait to see Viktor hold little bean for the first time, cradling a tiny bundle in his strong arms and kissing the baby's little forehead. He knew they would both be a sobbing mess.

The next contraction slowly gripped him, so he grasped the side of the tub, pulling himself up to his knees so he could lean on his elbows and rock his hips from side to side, something that helped take his mind off the pain. The deep, untouchable ache in his lower abdomen washed over him, increasing his heart rate until he could feel it pounding in his throat. He kept his breathing slow and even, digging his nails into his palm and focusing on one spot in the pattern of the wallpaper. He was able to keep quiet that way, so he wouldn't wake Viktor.

Two more times, he breathed through the pains, timing them on his phone and relaxing in the soothing heat in between.

Fourteen minutes again. Then thirteen. Each lasting about a minute, and still steadily increasing in intensity.

Coming down from the latest bout of tight, burning cramps, he exhaled a shaky breath, wiping sweat from his brow with a damp, cold washcloth. He was getting hot again, and thirsty. He was torn between calling for Viktor and getting up himself, but he didn't really like either option. Viktor needed sleep, and he knew Viktor didn't like him getting out of the bathtub by himself. He didn't want to fall and hurt the baby, not when they were this close.

But in the end, he decided on the latter. He would just be extremely careful.

Once the contraction was completely gone, he gripped the support rail on the wall with both hands, making sure his legs weren't too weak to stand, and very slowly began to pull himself to his feet. So far, so good. Man, his stomach was so heavy, and there was so much pressure on his pubic bone and back.

All of a sudden, it happened, and it was such an unmistakable feeling that he sucked in a startled gasp and voiced a short, breathless " _oh, fuck_ " of shock.

A muted pop, somewhere deep inside his lower belly, and then an immediate, very warm, very _real_ gush of fluid from his birth canal.

His gaze snapped downward.

It was running down the inside of his thighs in rivulets, mostly clear, but with a slight pinkish tint and a few flecks of bloody tissue. It trickled into the water at his feet, wisps of pink dissipating like smoke in the air.

The bottom of his stomach fell out, sending a shock of coldness down his spine with it and raising the hair on his arms.

This was happening.

To him.

 _Right now_.

He had imagined that his water would break somewhere embarrassing, like at the rink or in a restaurant, and it would be a big commotion like in the movies.

Not something as soft and quiet as this.

He took a moment to breathe, mentally preparing himself, then hesitantly raised his chin and called out, unable to keep his voice from shaking like a leaf.

"Viktor!"

He heard soft rustling of sheets that became sharper as Viktor woke up, then urgent footsteps neared the bathroom. The door swung open to reveal Viktor, pajamas rumpled and face flushed, but very much awake.

"Are you o—" Blue eyes slowly drifted downward, and his mouth hung open, sentence suspended in mid air. His eyes slowly met Yuuri's again, widening when he realized exactly what had happened.

They stared, frozen, at each other for a moment, a million emotions swirling in the air between, then Viktor broke the silence, a wide grin spreading across his face.

"Baby time."

Yuuri jerked his head in a nod, smiling weakly despite the tempest in his heart.

"Baby time," he repeated breathlessly.

 _Finally_.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :DD
> 
> BABY TIME
> 
> That was a terrible cliffhanger and I'm sorry. But! I'm going to try and not make you guys wait too long for the next one!
> 
> Also, I'd just like to say...40,000 hits. You guys ;_; I am blown away. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all the love and encouragement you've shown me and this story. It means the absolute world to me. <33
> 
> Next chapter: oh come on, you know by now!! ♡♡♡
> 
> Until next time!~
> 
>  
> 
> ~~please don't kill me~~


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo, lord. Here we finally are, yall. This double-length chapter was emotionally exhausting to write (I cried a lot pff), but I'm pretty proud of it. I hope it's worth the terrible wait. ♡
> 
> If the images are too big (which I know they are, unless you're on a desktop), just tap on them to go to the imgur page and see them full size. :)
> 
> Warning: this chapter earns the explicit rating several times over. There will be blood, bodily fluids, and a hell of a lot of pain. If you're squeamish or softhearted, please proceed with caution. Childbirth. Is. Horrifying. (But also beautiful ^_^)
> 
> And...another thing?
> 
> Just trust me. Trust in Mama Lil. 
> 
> Enjoy, my lovelies. <3

_"Let's desert this day of hurt; tomorrow we'll be free."_

_—'Soon We'll Be Found', Sia_

 

Adrenaline exploded through Viktor's veins with the force of a freight train, jolting him from his slack-jawed gaping and kicking him into action.

He jogged to the tub, where Yuuri was clinging to the support rail for all he was worth with ribbons of pinkish fluid dribbling down his inner thighs. His lips were parted in shock and his pretty brown doe eyes were wide, looking down into the tub full of water at his feet like he wanted to run away from it. Viktor could smell something strange and bitter on the air, probably the amniotic fluid, and another scent, metallic in the back of his throat, that he could only describe as Yuuri's blood. How it smelled different than normal blood was beyond him, but somehow, he could tell it was Yuuri's.

"Shit, are—oh, my God." Viktor reached out to steady Yuuri with hands at his elbows. "Are you alright? Are you in any pain?" His voice trembled and cracked. He could barely hear himself over the roaring in his ears.

Yuuri immediately shook his head. "No, I…I just finished a contraction, actually. Thirteen minutes apart this time." He let go of the support rail and grasped Viktor's forearms for balance. His hands were quivering. "We need to call the hospital and let them know we're going to be coming soon…water breaking is definitely something to go in for, no matter how far apart my contractions are."

The sound of liquid plipping into the water suddenly got louder, and Yuuri wobbled forward against Viktor, his eyes large with surprise. He looked downward again, and Viktor's eyes followed. Oh. He was leaking a _lot_. Bloody strands of mucous swirled in the water at his feet.

"I'm going to make a mess if I get out now," he fretted. "Will you grab one of those heavy duty pads out of my suitcase? I'll kneel down and wait for you."

Viktor snapped out of his terrified staring. "Of course."

Once Yuuri was safely on his knees and Viktor was back in the bedroom, he scrubbed a hand over his face and knelt down to rummage through Yuuri's suitcase with clumsy fingers, his heart thumping so hard against his ribs it felt like it could catapult right out of them.

Yuuri was in labor. He was going to be a father in a few hours.

Holy _shit_.

His hands were fumbling stupidly, limbs stiff and jerking with nervousness like he barely had any control over them. It took him about twice as long as it normally would have to find what he was looking for (aided by the fact that he hadn't had the good sense to turn a lamp on), and when he finally found it, he got up without even picking up the box and had to do a one-eighty halfway to the bathroom and race back to the suitcase, cursing under his breath.

When he returned to the bathroom, Yuuri was calmly kneeling in the tub with the water draining, looking much more level-headed than Viktor felt himself. His cheeks and lips were flushed pretty and pink from the hot water, strands of ink sticking to his forehead, and his dark eyes caught the cool light from above, glittering as they studied the floor. Viktor wondered if all pregnant mothers whose water had just broken looked as stunningly gorgeous as Yuuri did at that moment. God, he was beautiful, and he was having Viktor's baby. _Amazing_.

He set the box of pads on the side of the tub and reached to gather Yuuri's pajamas off of the floor so he could put them back on once he was dry.

He dropped them several times.

"Honey," Yuuri's voice finally murmured softly, and Viktor's gaze snapped to him so instantly that he nearly got whiplash. There was a knowing look in those lovely russet brown eyes, coupled with a fond, lopsided smile. "Calm down. I'm not having the baby just yet."

Viktor exhaled a deep breath, scrubbing his face firmly with both hands. "I know," he whimpered. "I'm just…nervous and scared and so _happy_. This doesn't even feel close to being real yet."

Yuuri reached out, and Viktor gladly took his offered hand.

"It's so surreal, isn't it," he said breathlessly, squeezing Viktor's hand in a gentle, reassuring grip. "Little bean's finally ready to meet us." His eyes were sparkling and dancing with a razor-sharp excitement that Viktor understood perfectly.

Suddenly, he voiced a short, breathy "oh" that made Viktor's insides give a startled jerk, but it wasn't a sound of pain; he just released Viktor's hand to clutch his belly, attempting to peer around it with his brow puckered in concern.

"Good grief, it's _still_ coming." Sure enough, the pinkish fluid was still swirling down the drain with the water.

Viktor handed him a towel to pat himself off with. It may be better if he stayed in the tub, at least for a few minutes. Viktor didn't want to have to sheepishly explain any strange pink stains on the powdery grey carpet to the hotel staff, if they could help it. He knew poor Yuuri would melt through the floor in mortification.

"There's probably a lot of it in there to come out. You did have polyhydramnios for several weeks," Viktor pointed out.

"True…I had almost forgotten. It seems so long ago now..." Yuuri's cheeks reddened even further, probably with more than just heat from the bath. "I may soak through the pad before we even get to the hospital." He shifted in the tub, watching the pale pink water swirl down the drain with unfocused eyes. His breathing was slow and far too even to be natural, and he was cracking his knuckles. His arms and chest were sprinkled with goosebumps.

For a moment, Viktor was confused at just how easily he could feel the anxiety rolling off of Yuuri in waves, how obviously it had changed his scent. It seemed like he used to be much better at hiding it.

Or, just maybe, Viktor was getting better at reading him.

"Don't worry, we can bring a towel for the taxi, just in case." Viktor set his clothes in reach, but Yuuri's downcast gaze didn't waver. He reached to touch the warm, bare skin of Yuuri's shoulder. "You alright, babe?" He asked gently.

"Hmm?" Yuuri's gaze lifted, eyebrows high. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. It just scared me when it happened…really took me off guard." He laughed, but it was forced, and he was picking at his thumb cuticles. "I stood there for a good thirty seconds gaping like a fish before I said anything. I probably looked pretty ridiculous."

 _He's fine, just very anxious_ , Viktor's mind supplied. _Don't draw attention to it, talk to him to get his mind off of it._

"Hey, at least you were in the tub." Viktor began gathering up various toiletries from the sink so they could be packed away with ease. "You could have been like Yuliana. When she went into labor with my nephew, her water broke in the grocery store, all over the floor."

Yuuri cringed and breathed out a laugh. "Oh, man. I would have died of embarrassment."

"Trust me, she did." Viktor paused. A lump crowded his throat, and he swallowed it down, hand lingering absently on the tube of toothpaste.

The morning of October thirtieth, the autumn before his thirteenth birthday. He had been with Yuliana when it had happened, and could still remember the hilarious mixture of shock, mortification, and breathless joy on her face when her water had broken in the middle of the supermarket that was a few blocks away from his childhood home. Frustrated and amused and toting his three-year-old niece on his hip, he, along with his brother-in-law, had practically had to drag her away from apologizing over and over to the employees who would have to mop up the mess.

Six hours later, she had welcomed a precious, beautiful silver-haired baby boy into the world.

The memory was crystal clear. He remembered every detail, down to the items they had gone to the store to pick up in the first place, even though it had been sixteen years ago.

…no…seventeen now. He had missed a birthday.

Guilt needled his heart. He needed to call soon.

Dragged back to the present by the sound of the last gurgles of the tub draining, he realized that he had been too silent for too long, lost in his memories. "Maybe she can tell you about it someday," he offered quietly.

Yuuri looked up at him with that sweet smile, eyes shining soft and full of understanding. "I'd love that."

He really, really needed to call soon.

With a team effort, they got Yuuri out of the tub and back into his clean pajamas, and he reinforced a pad with extra toilet paper for good measure before pulling his underwear and sweatpants up. He notified the hospital that they would be coming in a few minutes, then they rushed around the dim hotel room and packed hastily, not really having much to pack, thankfully. It felt very much like an early morning dream, and Viktor kept having to pinch himself to make sure that he was awake.

Before they left, they took a moment to make sure they weren't forgetting anything. The last thing Viktor wanted to do was rush back and leave Yuuri to labor alone because he had forgotten something important in the frenzy. Thank God, the hospital was literally two buildings away from them, and it wouldn't take more than a couple of minutes to get there.

While checking off things in his suitcase, Yuuri suddenly perked up, resting a hand on his stomach. "Oh. We need to call my parents, they told me to call right away if something happened." He was red-faced and out of breath from hurrying around. "And everyone else will need to know, too." He kneaded the heels of his hands into his lower back, wincing and puffing a breath through his lips.

Viktor's gaze softened in sympathy, then he brightened, lifting a finger in exclamation. "I know, I'll make a group message! That way everyone will know at once. Tell your family I'll pay for their train tickets so they can zip over here, and I won't take no for an answer." He glanced at the clock. It had only been about six minutes since Yuuri's water had broken. It felt like a few seconds, and yet somehow, also an eternity. Like they were suspended in a pocket of time completely separate from the rest of the world.

"I'll go ahead and call them before we leave." Yuuri took his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants, dialing the number with one hand and holding his belly up with the other. He held the phone to his ear while Viktor zipped their suitcases and dialed for a cab, and the Japanese conversation brought a smile to Viktor's face.

"Hey, Mari-neechan. I…fine. …uh. Actually, my water just broke, so."

Yuuri held his phone away from his ear to avoid having his eardrum shattered, and he and Viktor shared an amused grin at the panicked yammering that sounded over the speaker, making it crackle.

That was, without a doubt, the loudest Viktor had ever heard Mari talk.

  
-

  
**[Viktor Nikiforov created the group message]**

**[Viktor Nikiforov added Phichit Chulanont, Christophe Giacometti, Yuri Plisetsky, Kenjirou Minami and Nishigori Yuuko to the group]**

**Viktor:**  
Is that everyone?? I'm sure I'm forgetting people...  
Oh, wait  
**[Viktor Nikiforov added Otabek Altin, Georgi Popovich, and Mila Babicheva]**  
There!  
Feel free to mute this if it becomes annoying to you, it's just here for updates in case you want to check it every now and then.  
So, uh…  
Yuuri's water broke a few minutes ago, we're in a taxi on our way to the hospital. (^♡^;)

 **Phichit:**  
WHAT  
OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS

 **Viktor:**  
Completely. His contractions are thirteen minutes apart, and it's currently been seven minutes since the last one.

 **Minami:**  
FJSKDHJDJDDKHFJDNDJSDJHFJSJDNF  
BABY!!!!!!

 **Christophe:**  
Oh my goodness :o  
It's finally timeeee come on lil bean ♡

 **Viktor:**  
I KNOW I'm about to jump out of my skin, I'm so excited and terrified.  
I'll keep you guys updated about everything as it happens!

 **Yuri:**  
No wonder he felt like shit earlier

 **Phichit:**  
Um what are you doing up young man

 **Yuri:**  
:middlefinger:

 **Otabek:**  
That would explain the sudden nausea he experienced. That can be a sign of early labor.

 **Viktor:**  
I thought the same thing.  
I'm wondering exactly how long he's been in labor…he's been having contractions every thirty minutes for over a day now.  
They can probably tell us, idk.

 **Mila:**  
AAIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!

 **Georgi:**  
Oh my, that's wonderful…you've waited for so long!

 **Yuuko:**  
About time! Definitely keep us posted!

 **Viktor:**  
will do ♡  
It will be a while before things really get going, so you can all go back to sleep lol

**[Viktor Nikiforov named the group "Labor Updates! ♡"]**

**Yuri:**  
don't have to tell me twice

  
-

  
_38 weeks, 6 days_

_3:06 am_

  
Thirteen minutes and some change after his water had broken, while waddling down the hallway from the emergency room to the maternity ward, Yuuri was clearly reminded of something that Yuuko had warned him about a few weeks ago.

_"Once your water breaks, the contractions will probably get worse."_

When he felt the ache of another one starting, he tried to just breathe through it and keep walking, but his plans were quickly changed. His back was hunching, his body curling in on itself of its own volition, and he couldn't fight through it.

 _Shit_.

"Stop, stop," he begged, tugging Viktor to a sudden halt. Viktor's head whipped back toward him, blue eyes wide as saucers, and he turned and reached to hold Yuuri's arms at the elbows.

The contraction intensified so quickly that he felt like he had been struck in the chest and couldn't catch his breath in time. Deciding that it may be better to wrap his arms around Viktor for support in case his knees decided to liquefy, he squeezed his eyes shut and clutched the back of Viktor's hoodie in his hands, letting out a hiss through clenched teeth at the tight ache that caused hard pressure in his lower back.

He heard the Japanese nurse they had been following, a girl that was probably a couple of years younger than him, gently telling him to breathe. He sucked in a deep breath through his nose and fell into the pattern that helped the most. Viktor's hand rubbing his back and a kiss on top of his head made grateful tears pool in his eyes.

"That's it, honey, good job…" Viktor murmured, his soft, crooning voice soothing beyond belief. Some of the tension left Yuuri's shoulders.

After about thirty seconds, the pain faded away, and Yuuri relaxed his hands and exhaled, wiggling his stiff fingers to loosen them up and taking his weight off of Viktor's chest. His knees wobbled slightly, so he held onto Viktor's shoulder for good measure. Viktor’s thumb wiped away the sweat that had beaded on his temple, and when Yuuri looked up, there was a storm of unease in his eyes.

"That looked a lot worse than the others."

"It was," Yuuri breathed, rubbing the underside of his belly. It was starting to get sore, like a muscle did after a cramp, and his back was already killing him. "Yuuko-chan warned me that it might get worse after my water broke…"

The nurse had been politely standing off to the side, not wanting to interrupt his concentration, but she finally spoke up.

"The room we've put you in is just up ahead," she encouraged.

The thought of a bed to sit on spurred Yuuri onward. Having such a strong contraction standing up was, as Phichit would have said, a zero out of ten; would not recommend. Maybe he shouldn't have laughed off Viktor's offer to carry him so quickly…

The room turned out to be a fairly spacious birthing suite, complete with a couch along the wall for visitors, a bed with a pair of foldout stirrups at the end, various equipment and monitors all around, and, to Yuuri's relief, a large, comfortable-looking tub in the bathroom that the nurse cheerfully informed him he was welcome to use, if he so chose. It wasn't terribly modern or cutting edge, but the atmosphere was warm and calming.

Once he had eased down onto the bed and breathed through the stabs of pain in his crotch that resulted, the nurse took his vitals, keeping up a steady stream of questions as she did.

Due date was supposed to be December nineteenth. Contractions are thirteen minutes apart. Yes, his water did break, and yes, there was some blood in it, but not too much. She jotted all the information down on her clipboard as Yuuri gave it, then gave him a gown to change into and a cup so he could give her a urine sample.

He retreated to the bathroom, far too jittery and stiff to pee in front of anyone right now, much less a total stranger. They'd be standing there waiting for hours. He would probably end up having the baby before he could muster the courage.

Filling the cup and setting it aside after screwing the cap on, he wriggled out of his clothes and slipped into the loose, airy gown. The smooth cotton was nice and soft, but to his embarrassment, it was the kind that tied in the back. He was still leaking amniotic fluid at an annoyingly steady rate, so he swapped out his own underwear for the gauzy, absorbent pad-equipped maternity underwear that the nurse had told him he would find in the cabinet. He didn't care if they were practically adult diapers, he wasn't getting bloody fluids all over his bed. Besides, they were comfy as hell. He'd be swiping some of these to take home, for sure.

He took a moment to just close his eyes and _breathe_. And maybe allow himself a smidgen of internal screaming.

He was in labor, and little bean was coming. Good God, he had waited so long for this day.

When he opened his eyes, the mirror in front of him revealed just how hugely pregnant he had ended up. He almost wished he had the tape measure with him; now that he was fully dropped, his belly stuck out even more than before. He had to be careful when he turned around, or walked. Or did anything. He didn't really blame the people who thought he was carrying twins; if he was honest with himself, he was probably big enough for two babies. He turned to the side and smoothed one hand down his round, heavy bump, shaking his head in wonder at his reflection.

Soon, it would be much smaller. He was hoping that he would turn out to be one of those people who dropped the post-baby belly easily…

He padded out of the bathroom in sock feet, cradling his stomach in one hand to take some weight off of his back, and Viktor looked up from the admission paperwork he was filling out with the nurse's help. With how his blue eyes softened and his lips parted in a smile, one would think Yuuri was dressed to the nines, and not in a billowy, slightly lopsided hospital gown.

"You even manage to make a hospital gown look good," Viktor said wistfully. Yuuri slowly struck a dramatic pose, his face deadpan, and Viktor snickered. The nurse hid a smile, clicking her own pen to write on her clipboard.

"Has your baby been moving consistently, Katsuki-san?"

Yuuri carefully eased down onto the bed, parting his thighs around his beach ball of a stomach and arranging the gown around him. "Yes, very much. Still as active as ever. Kicking right now, actually." He leaned back on the heels of his hands, swinging his legs out of nervous habit.

"Good. Have you had anything to eat or drink in the past twelve hours?"

He winced. "Ah, yes, but…I didn't…I ended up throwing up and having diarrhea. I did drink some Gatorade afterward, though."

Viktor must have picked out the word "Gatorade", because he spoke up. "I brought the other bottle in the hospital bag, in case you need it."

The nurse pursed her lips when Yuuri translated what he had said. "We don't usually allow a lot of eating or drinking during labor. It can interfere with any painkillers we give, especially if you're having a scheduled c-section or epidural."

Yuuri stilled his legs and looked her straight in the eye, unwavering. "I'm not having a c-section," he said calmly, "and I don't want an epidural."

Her lips pursed in a stifled, dubious smile that said "sure, you don't", and it had him biting the inside of his lip so he wouldn't snap at her, anger boiling up in his chest.

Gathering up the paperwork, she left with a promise to be back soon with the labor and delivery caregiver they would be paired with, and when the door clicked shut, Viktor sat on the bed next to Yuuri. His arm slipped around Yuuri's shoulders, warm and comforting.

"Are you sure you want this naturally?" He asked hesitantly.

Yuuri sighed through his nose. "Yes, if at all possible. I don't want drugs, they could hurt little bean. I don't care how safe they claim them to be." A protective hand drifted to his bump, hanging low between his thighs and rippling with gentle kicks. "The nurse seemed to think I wasn't serious," he muttered defensively. It annoyed him to no end when people acted like they knew everything.

"Maybe she's seen people change their minds before," Viktor reasoned.

Yuuri harrumphed. "She doesn't know how stubborn I am."

Viktor's cheek pulled in a smile. "Indeed she doesn't." He sighed, combing his fingers through Yuuri's hair and softly smooching his cheek. His forehead met Yuuri's temple, and Yuuri leaned into the contact. "I'm just…scared for you, love. It's going to be hard on you."

"I know it is. I have no delusions of this being easy. I just want everything to be safe for little bean." He rubbed his stomach, eyelashes lowering. He focused on the weight and fullness, the sweet kicks of baby feet, even the uncomfortable pressure between his legs, memorizing every part.

He wouldn't be feeling any of it for much longer.

It was such a bizarre thought, that he wouldn't be pregnant anymore in a few hours. Part of him was a bit sad, but he was mostly excited and relieved. He had been pregnant for so long that he couldn't even remember what it had been like to have his stomach all to himself.

Most importantly, he was ready to meet his baby.

Viktor pressed a long kiss to his temple. "You're strong, _solnyshko_ ," he murmured, breath warm against Yuuri's cheek. "I believe in you, even if she doesn't."

Yuuri smiled faintly, intertwining their fingers and leaning into Viktor's shoulder.

"I'm so lucky to have you here with me."

  
-

  
_3:43 am_

  
Their labor and delivery caregiver turned out to be a petite woman in her mid forties, with light brown hair pulled back into a ponytail and dark brown eyes that were sharp and intelligent. When she moved, an ornate tattoo of wild roses and twisting vines peeked out from under her scrub sleeve on her right arm. She spoke English, as well, with an accent heavier than Yuuri's slight one. Viktor liked her. She seemed very knowledgeable, and her brusque but caring demeanor reminded him of Minako.

She swiftly and efficiently felt for the baby's position and strapped a fetal heart monitor around Yuuri's big belly, to keep track of little bean's heart rate throughout labor. The soft, steady thumps sounded from the machine the monitor was hooked to, and it made Viktor's own heart race with excitement. Then came a second, nearly identical monitor, which she told them would measure the pressure created by Yuuri's contractions. She also checked his dilation and effacement, which didn't look comfortable at all, judging from the wincing and vice grip poor Yuuri had on the rail of the bed.

"Head down, full anterior position, baby's heart rate is 139, and you're four centimeters dilated and eighty percent effaced, with a fetal station of +1," she reported, snapping her glove off and tossing it in a biohazard bin. "How far apart are your contractions, and how long do they last?"

"The last one was about four minutes before you came in, and it had been twelve minutes since the last one," Yuuri answered, shifting in the bed and breathing slowly. His face was still pinched from having his dilation checked. "They last about…thirty to forty-five seconds, I guess. It varies."

"Is the pain manageable?"

"Ah…" Yuuri scrunched his face and made a wiggly hand gesture. "yeah, I think I'm learning how to lessen it. Breathing and all."

The woman hummed and nodded. "Water is broken, correct?"

"Yes, it broke at about three or so."

Viktor still hadn't fully recovered from that.

"Good. Now, if you go more than twenty-four hours with your water broken and you haven't delivered, we'll have to try to help things along for you because of risk of infection." She wrote a few things on her clipboard. "I don't foresee that happening, not with how far along you already are, but we'll keep an eye on you just in case." She pulled on a sterile pair of latex gloves and took out a butterfly needle and a vial from her cabinet of equipment, plugging the ends of the thin tube into the ports. "I need some blood from you, to check your type and see if there's anything we need to watch for."

At one time, Yuuri would have paled at the mention of drawing blood, but now, he obediently stuck his arm out for the rubber tourniquet. Viktor was proud of how many of his fears he had conquered during his pregnancy.

"Do you have a birth plan?" The woman asked as she filled the vial with blood.

Yuuri blinked. "Uh…" he fidgeted, looking down at his fingers, drumming them on his belly. "Not really like…a written one, no, but…I don't want an epidural or any kind of pain medication, if that counts."

"That's fine," she said easily, capping the vial and sticking a cotton swab and bandaid over the dot of blood in the crook of Yuuri's elbow, then removing her gloves. "I'll make a note for the other nurses. Anything else?"

"Well…I've been thinking…" Yuuri's smile was adorably soft and shy. "…when the time comes, I…I'd like either me or Viktor to catch the baby when they're born. Would that be okay?"

Viktor's lips parted, eyebrows lifting. That was the first he had heard of that.

He imagined it for a moment, and the mere thought of gently helping their baby into the world as Yuuri pushed with all his might sent a cold thrill of elation up his spine.

What an immense privilege.

The nurse's brisk features softened. "Of course it would. This is your labor, your delivery. As long as you're in no danger, you're in charge. If anyone tells you otherwise, you ring for me. My name is Kanade." She lowered her voice. "They don't like that I give the mother so much say, but a lot of them don't have children like I do. Childbirth is a very special, empowering time for mothers. You deserve to tailor it to your liking and not be ordered around too much, if everything is going fine. Especially with a natural birth like yours." She gathered her equipment and clipboard. "Since your contractions are pretty far apart and you're only at a four, I'm going to let you alone for a while and check on a few other patients I have. I have a pager on my belt, so if you need anything at all or feel something isn't right, don't hesitate to give me a call. Okay?"

"Yes, ma'am," they said in unison, and she left with a nod, breezing out the door, tennis shoes squeaking and her ponytail swishing at her shoulders.

"She's nice," Yuuri noted, snuggling back against the pillows and absently rubbing the underside of his stomach. "I like her a lot."

"I do, too." Viktor reached to take Yuuri's hand, lacing their fingers gently. "You didn't tell me you wanted one of us to deliver the baby. That's quite a surprise."

Yuuri blushed, his words speeding up in haste. "I was just thinking about it in the tub earlier, once I was pretty sure I was in labor. It would be kinda cool and special that way, you know? Is that alright—I mean I can do it if you don't w—"

"Yuuri, it's okay," Viktor quickly assured, "I…I would really love to, but…I just don't want to take it away from you if you want to."

"Oh." Yuuri's brows came down in a thoughtful expression. "…we'll just see when the time comes." He smiled weakly. "I may be too tired by then."

He _already_ looked too tired. His posture was slumped, and the purplish smudges beneath his eyes were even darker than they usually were. He had to be sleepy; he hadn't slept hardly at all since the night before.

Unease writhed in Viktor's abdomen.

If Yuuri was tired now, Viktor wondered just how exhausted he would be at the end.

  
-

  
_4:28 am_

  
As they stood in a loving embrace, swaying back and forth, Yuuri's back felt tense and damp under Viktor's palms. His voice was a low, drawn-out moan, smothered in the hoodie fabric at Viktor's shoulder.

They had adopted this position about an hour prior, when Yuuri had started feeling restless and had wanted to get up and move around. In between contractions, he would pace around like a caged lion, cradling his globe of a belly, or lean over with his elbows on the bed and Viktor massaging his back, but when the pains came, they would drift to each other and embrace, swaying in their silent, intimate dance.

They had dimmed the room lights to a warm, relaxing setting, and the city lights outside their third floor window twinkled like a blanket of stars. It would still be a while before the sun even peeked over the horizon. The soft golden glow from the window shone in Yuuri's eyes, tinting them bronze and beautiful.

"Reminds me of when we danced in the lobby of the onsen," Yuuri whispered at one point. Viktor had to agree; besides Yuuri being in pain, it felt…cozy. Romantic, almost.

Throughout the duration of the contractions, Yuuri's breaths were heavy and very controlled, almost mechanical at times. He had been relatively quiet during contractions so far, but a few minutes ago, he had started to moan aloud through his nose with each exhale. It had to be getting bad if he was making noise now. He had a high pain tolerance.

Despite the mostly calm atmosphere, Viktor was uneasy. Yuuri being in so much pain made his stomach churn in an unfamiliar way, nervous energy stirring unpleasantly in his torso. He didn't like it when Yuuri hurt.

He also didn't like to think about the fact that it would get much, much worse as the hours ticked by.

Freed of the latest contraction, Yuuri's body went slack in his arms, and Viktor felt his hands unclench from the fabric at his back. He audibly swallowed and sank down on the bed, voicing a pained grunt as he did and closing his eyes.

"They're getting a lot more intense," he rasped quietly. "That one was awful."

Viktor's heart sank. "Oh, honey…I'm so sorry." He brushed the sweat from Yuuri's brow and leaned down to press a lingering kiss to his warm forehead. Yuuri's hand stroked the side of his face, and Viktor felt his fingers shaking.

"Can you get me my phone, please," he mumbled, "I heard it vibrate a few minutes ago and forgot to even check it."

Viktor complied, retrieving Yuuri's phone from the hospital bag and sitting on the end of the bed, handing it to him as he lay back against the pillows. His eyes moved back and forth, then he typed.

"Mari. She says they're finally on their way." He sighed, his belly rising and falling with the tired breath. "I'm so glad they convinced tou-san to close the onsen and come with them. I didn't want him regretting not coming later, because I knew he would have, he's too much like me. The few guests they had were regulars and knew me, and she says they were really understanding."

Viktor smiled softly. "That's good." He knew it would make Yuuri feel a lot better to have his family here.

Yuuri typed a bit more and then dropped his phone to the bed, letting out a long, slow breath through his nose and folding his hands on his belly. He gazed out the window, a quiet, melancholy expression softening his face.

"It's snowing," he murmured.

Sure enough, when Viktor followed his gaze, he could see the glitters of falling snow, catching the lights from the city.

"Pretty," Viktor whispered, smiling back at Yuuri.

Yuuri's brow remained creased with sadness, and his eyelashes lowered. Something was on his mind.

A silence descended on the room, punctuated by nervous knuckle cracks.

Viktor rubbed his burning, aching eyes. His body was already starting to protest being woken up in the middle of the night after such a long, strenuous day. He needed to get some coffee eventually. He unlocked his phone, checking his own messages to distract himself. Only one in the group chat from Chris, asking how things were progressing with several worried emojis. Viktor was surprised he was even awake; he must have had trouble sleeping. He tapped his keyboard rapidly, updating the chat to Yuuri's current dilation, effacement, and contraction times.

Yuuri's voice softly broke the silence, heavy with guilt.

"You'll miss the exhibition."

Viktor closed his eyes and sighed ruefully. He had known that was coming eventually. He reached behind him to rub his hand up and down Yuuri's leg, giving him a soft smile.

"I've already let the ISU know I won't be there, and they were just fine with it. They're going to get Minami to perform his exhibition in place of bronze, so Phichit and Yuri will perform as silver and gold."

After a few moments of silence, Yuuri's breathing started to shake.

Viktor's heart cramped.

He moved further up the bed, leaning against the pillows and draping an arm around Yuuri's shoulders, and Yuuri leaned into his side and wrapped his arms around his waist, closing his eyes in misery and causing a tear to slide down his cheek and plip onto his gown.

"You're going to miss so much of the season because of me. You'll miss out on the European Championships, and the Winter Olympics, and Worlds…" Viktor could hear the self-deprecating hurt in his words. "Possibly your last season, and I ruined it. All because I couldn't—"

"Honey, don't." Viktor tenderly ran his fingers through Yuuri's hair to offset the firm words. "We've talked about this."

"I know, but Viktor—"

"Yuuri, please," Viktor said through a weary sigh.

"You don't understand," Yuuri insisted, tears drawing his words tight, "I don't _want_ you to skate."

"What?"

He felt Yuuri tremble. "I…I don't want you to skate. I don't want you to leave me, just thinking about it makes me feel sick. I'm being so selfish, I can barely stand it…" Yuuri's voice trailed off in a whimper, and he curled up and turned his face into Viktor's chest, as if hiding from his own words. "I'm _glad_ you won't be skating, and that's so…so _horrible_ of me."

Viktor gave a quiet sigh through his nose, smiling fondly. Sweet, selfless Yuuri, convinced he was being selfish.

"Sweetheart, to be frank, I have absolutely no desire to skate the rest of the season. Not with you and little bean at home." Or the onsen, whatever. He considered the onsen another home by now. "I refuse to miss out on the first months of their life. I want to be home to bond with little bean and to help you out while you recover. I won't drag you all over the world like that when I know you'll be exhausted, and I certainly won't leave you to care for a newborn all by yourself." He dropped a kiss on top of Yuuri's head. "It's simply out of the question, you see." His smile faded slightly with the flutter of uncertainty that traveled down through his chest. "Plus, with my knee like it is, it's better for me to wait and go back to the doctor to see if I even should skate anymore. I could do permanent damage to it if I keep going now."

The thought was unnerving, to say the least. He sure as hell didn't want osteoarthritis. He was too young for that.

"I know, but…" Yuuri sniffled, threading their fingers together. "It still makes me feel so bad." His voice was small and sorrowful.

"Don't let it. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but with you and Chiharu or Miuna." He nuzzled the top of Yuuri's head, soft hair smooth and cool against his nose and lips, then pressed another kiss there. "It would break my heart to be away from you at such a crucial time, and to be away from home while little bean is so tiny. I want to savor every single moment of their life while it's fresh and new, because they won't be newborn forever."

He tried not to think about the words too deeply, because if he did, he'd be crying right along with Yuuri. With Yuuri in labor and producing a host of all-new pheromones that Viktor had never experienced before, his emotions were all over the place in response to them, sad and happy all at once.

Yuuri's head rubbed his shoulder as he nodded. "The first few months fly by," he murmured, wiping his face. "That's what Yuuko-chan told me." He breathed out a tearful laugh, his hand falling to his stomach. "Listen to us. Being all sad and sentimental before baby's even out of my belly."

Viktor rested his hand next to Yuuri's, flattening his palm on the warm, firm bump. "It'll be a short time, but we'll make it count."

Yuuri voiced a soft hum of agreement, rubbing his palm across his swollen belly. It had somehow dropped even lower since he had started labor, so low that it was practically hanging off of him. Viktor wondered how much it would shrink once there was no longer a baby inside it.

It was drawing closer every hour.

  
-

  
_6:54 am_

  
The contractions soon reached a coasting point, no longer increasing in intensity or becoming closer together, but Kanade assured them that a bit of stalling was perfectly normal at this stage. The plateau continued for quite some time, to Yuuri's pleasant surprise. It gave him a chance to rest and sort of regroup. Regain his bearings.

At first, the pain had frightened him. He had gone rigid with each one, dreading the burning tightness and how it stole the breath from his chest. Then, after a particularly bad one that left him shaking in fear, Kanade had offered a bit of gentle advice: if he tensed up his belly, it would hurt a lot worse than if he relaxed.

"Your body was designed for this," she murmured. "Surrender that control to it, and you'll be surprised at how much it helps."

So, when the pains came, he did his best not to resist, as counterintuitive as that seemed. He had been skeptical, but it really did help a lot to just let his body do what it needed to.

With his mind focused on breathing instead of how much it hurt, he could feel the contractions with more clarity, and he had to marvel at the sheer muscle strength of a human uterus; his belly was actually lifting slightly when it seized up with each contraction. It was _powerful_.

He was probably (most definitely) getting ahead of himself, but he felt like he was coping pretty well so far. He had learned what positions were the most comfortable, and what movements and breathing techniques lessened the pain and distracted his mind most effectively. When the contractions came, they were around nine minutes apart, and they lasted for around forty seconds, on average. After that, he was free to relax, walk around, drink water, pee, or do anything else he needed to.

For the time being, he felt fairly confident. He knew it would get a hell of a lot worse, but he was still grateful that he had been able to build up a tolerance to the pain so far. Plus, Viktor supporting him and providing a constant, gentle stream of encouragement was a huge motivation boost.

Maybe he could do this, after all.

At around seven, there was a knock on the door, and a sunglasses-wearing Chris breezed into the room with signature poise and flamboyance, toting two McDonald's bags and a cup of strong coffee for Viktor. Yuuri had never seen relief so profound on Viktor's face, and it made him giggle.

"You're a godsend, my friend," Viktor sighed with his eyes closed in bliss after his first sip of coffee.

"Directly from heaven, honey." Chris held up each bag with flourish and a wink. "Sausage biscuits in this one, hash browns in this one. Take your pick."

Surprisingly, Yuuri's stomach growled. Maybe he could eat a little something. He was hesitant to, since it meant he may end up being…embarrassed while pushing later, but the desire to not be hungry was stronger than the fear of being embarrassed. Besides, Kanade had assured him that it was fine if he ate light snacks along the way to keep up his strength. Hopefully the food would go through his system quickly.

"Ah…hash brown, please." He accepted the hash brown Chris handed him and gave him a one-armed hug, and Chris kissed the air around both of his cheeks. "Thank you so much." He took a small bite, unsure of how his stomach would take it with so many clashing hormones in his system at the moment, but it made no protest.

"Anything I can do to help the parents-to-be." Chris patted his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "How are you holding up, little mama?"

"Right now?" Yuuri rubbed his eye underneath his glasses, sighing quietly. "I'm alright, just getting kinda tired. Contractions are every nine minutes, so at least I get some rest in between."

"I'm glad for that, then." Chris sank down onto the couch and crossed his white denim-clad legs, pushing his sunglasses up to rest on his blond curls. His eyes looked Yuuri up and down as he shook his head, lips tipped up at one side. "Only you could look so gorgeous and radiant while you're in labor, hon."

Yuuri rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Flattery. I look terrible."

"You _really_ don't, though," Viktor objected. His eyes were looking less weary. The coffee was probably starting to hit his system. "I've never seen you look terrible, ever. You're gorgeous at all times." He sank his teeth into a sausage biscuit with a happy hum.

"You're both ridiculous." Yuuri rubbed his palm on his stomach when he felt the pitter of teeny feet. "Little bean agrees with me." He lifted the hospital gown up and over his bump, smoothing it out on his upper belly and tucking the sheets around his hips to cover up his underwear. He traced his finger over the little lump the baby's foot had created on his lower belly, between the straps of the monitors he wore. "See? Clearly in agreement." 

Chris cooed, reaching for a hash brown of his own. "Soon, you'll be feeling that from outside. How exciting."

Yuuri nodded, rewrapping the hash brown to momentarily set it aside; he could feel the early inklings of a contraction coming on. He curled both hands around the bed railing and closed his eyes, blocking out all outside noise in favor of concentrating on breathing.

The ache pulled low in his belly, muscles drawing taut, and instead of tensing his midsection up, he gripped the railing tightly and kept the rest of his body relaxed. He counted the seconds that he breathed in and out, brows furrowed in focus. In for three, out for four. Simply breathing properly and fighting the urge to pant helped more than he could have ever imagined.

"Good job, baby," he heard Viktor whisper, and it curled around his heart like a blanket.

After a minute, the contraction quietly slipped away, and he loosened his grip on the railing and blew a slow sigh through pursed lips. When he opened his eyes, Chris and Viktor were both watching him intently.

He waved his hand with exaggerated nonchalance and smiled. "Piece of cake."

"You astonish me," Chris lamented with his mouth full.

Yuuri gave a breathless laugh, wiping his damp forehead on his sleeve and folding the gown back down over his bump. "I have a feeling I won't be saying that in a few hours, but I'm glad it's manageable right now, at least." He picked up his water and hash brown to keep eating, savoring the warm, crispy bites of golden potatoes, cooked to perfection. Speaking from college days' experience, it wasn't often that you got them fresh out of the fryer like this. Chris must have either gotten lucky or asked for fresh ones. Most likely the latter, knowing him.

"I'll tell Phichit you're doing well, then. Again. He's been spamming the chat ever since he woke up," Viktor chuckled, typing on his phone.

Chris sniffed. "He and the ice kitten both tried to weasel out of the exhibition in favor of coming to the hospital. I told them you'd be in labor for some time, that babies take _quite_ a while to birth, but they were hell-bent on believing they would miss everything if they skated. Yakov and that long-haired Italian fellow were still lecturing them when I left."

Yep, that sounded like them.

"I'm assuming they'll stop by, then," Yuuri mused, licking his lips.

"They'll be coming after the exhibition ends, they just told me," Viktor piped up, wiggling his phone. "Once things really get going, they're going to camp out in the waiting room down the hall, they said. Well, Minami said. Yuri said nothing, but I know he and Otabek will. Phichit, too. I wouldn't doubt it if Yakov and Lilia joined, as well."

"Wouldn't _doubt_ it?" Chris snorted. "This is the closest they'll ever have to a grandchild, of course they'll be here."

Yuuri smiled softly.

He had so much love surrounding him.

 

-

 

**[Christophe sent a photo to Labor Updates! ♡]**

[ ](http://i.imgur.com/RiAwS3u)

So strong <3

 

 **Phichit:**  
Look at him...so focused ;_;

 **Yuuko:**  
In his own little world...I remember how that felt...

 

-

  
_8:58 am_

  
_< <how's katsudon holding up_

_> >It's really starting to hurt him. Contractions are eight minutes apart now._

_< <tell him he'd better watch the playback once the little shit's out of him_

_> >I'll use more delicate language than that, but sure, I'll tell him._

_< <what the fuck ever old man_

_i guess i'll_

_idk_

_i'm not sure when i'll get out of here_

_is he even okay with visitors if he's hurting, like_

_i'm only asking cause eyebrows wants to come_

_> >Actually, I'm sure he'll be glad to see you both. It'll take his mind off of it. Just bear in mind, he'll be in pretty terrible pain every few minutes._

_< <yeah_

_gotta skate now_

_> >Let loose and have fun, Yura. We'll be waiting for you._

  
_-_

  
_9:43 am_

  
When he heard a soft knock on the door followed by the handle popping, Yuuri didn't even lift his cheek from the pillow. He was curled up on his side, gripping the hand rail of the bed in both hands and huffing through a contraction, too preoccupied by pain to pry his eyes open to see who it was. Couldn't be Chris, he thought blearily, he had left to watch the exhibition some time ago. Probably just that rude, shrill-voiced nurse who had persistently offered him an epidural, even though he had told her with increasing firmness that he didn't want one. He was pretty sure she was violating some kind of protocol; epidurals and pain medication usually had to be ordered way ahead of time in Japan.

If she did it again, he was siccing Kanade on her, and he wouldn't be one bit sorry. He had no doubt Kanade could be scary if she wanted to. She was a mother of three teenage boys.

However, instead of hearing the smug, annoying voice of the nurse, he felt soft, cool knuckles caress his hot cheek.

When he opened his eyes, a familiar, gentle gaze met his own. Warm brown eyes, full of empathy and love and understanding.

A sob crawled its way up his throat before he could stifle it.

"Kaa-san," he whimpered, reaching up with a shaky hand to cover the hand on his cheek, but his mother tenderly shushed him, running her fingers through his hair and touching a light kiss to his temple. The rise and fall of her smooth, effortless Japanese felt like a cool cloud had enveloped him, chasing away the gnaw of anxiety.

"Breathe, Yuu-kun. Let your body do the work."

He fell back into the breathing pattern he had temporarily lost his grip on, closing his eyes again. He already felt ten times better. There was nothing more comforting than having your mother with you when you were hurting. It instantly made it seem like everything was going to be okay.

Once he was able, he slowed his breathing and wiped his brow, struggling to a sitting position. Viktor, who had been pressing his hands into his lower back while he was contracting, helped him up with gentle hands and a kiss on his shoulder.

Mari and his father were standing behind his mother, wearing expressions of worry so similar that Yuuri would have laughed, had he possessed the energy. Mari had always favored their father more in terms of looks, evidenced by the near-identical wrinkles on their foreheads.

"Here we were rushing to get here, but it looks like you've got everything under control," Mari noted, sitting down on the bed and squeezing Yuuri's knee.

He smiled faintly. "Trying my best. Thank you for coming."

"We wouldn't have missed it for the world," his mother assured softly. His father reached to give his shin a pat.

"Still can't believe we're going to be grandparents," he murmured. "Seems like only yesterday your mother was in the hospital after having you, holding you in her arms." He gave that sentimental, pursed-lips smile he always did when he was pretending not to hold back tears.

"It does," his mother sighed out, a smile of nostalgia on her lips. "Now our baby is having a baby. How exciting."

It felt strange to see them in normal clothing, and not the jinbeis they wore when working around the onsen. Yuuri honestly couldn't remember the last time he had seen his father in a flannel shirt. They all looked a bit disheveled; their clothes had most likely been hastily thrown on, and their eyes were shadowed with tiredness. Guilt constricted his chest.

"I…I'm sorry you had to come all this way," he said weakly, fiddling with his ring, "I had kinda hoped this wouldn't happen, but…"

His mother shook her head ruefully. "Babies come when they're ready, and not a second before or after. You couldn't have controlled that if you wanted." She sat down on the bed as well, giving Viktor a hug and a motherly rub on the back. "How's my Vicchan?" She switched to English. Yuuri had hardly realized they were still speaking Japanese, it had come so naturally. He felt bad for a second, then realized Viktor had probably understood everything they were saying, anyway. He had really been studying his Japanese diligently lately, and he had told Yuuri recently that he understood far more than he could speak.

Viktor breathed out a nervous laugh. "Excited. Scared for Yuuri." The words made Yuuri give a sad smile.

"I remember that feeling," Toshiya sighed and patted Viktor's shoulder. "It's hard to have to watch and be helpless, is it?"

"Not nearly as hard as Yuuri is working, I wouldn't imagine." Yuuri's throat caught yet again at the admiration in Viktor's gaze. "You're handling it beautifully so far. I'm so proud of you." His hand rubbed a comforting path up and down Yuuri's spine. "How was that one? Still the same?"

Yuuri shook his head reluctantly. "Worse," he murmured, leaning to squish his cheek against Viktor's shoulder. "Made me feel really hot."

Without hesitation, Viktor picked up a magazine from the bedside table and fanned Yuuri with it, running his fingers through his sweat-dampened hair and leaning around to press a kiss to his forehead. His eyes slipped shut, a faint smile pulling on his lips. The cool air felt wonderful on his flushed face, as did Viktor's nails lightly scratching his scalp.

"Your body is working overtime, so it's no wonder you're getting hot," Viktor noted, handing Yuuri the Gatorade bottle they had refilled with water from a cooler in the hall.

As his parents and Mari softly conversed with Viktor, he took a few slow sips of the cold, refreshing water, unable to imagine being in labor without it. Did they seriously deprive people of food and water during labor if they were on pain meds? It seemed like such a ridiculous overreaction to him. If he hadn't been allowed to eat and drink, he would have been dehydrated and starving by now from how much he was sweating. He was starting to understand why they called it 'labor'. It was hard work.

His family departed for the hotel to drop off their luggage, promising to be right back; Viktor had paid for them to stay there as long as necessary, despite their vehement protests. Yuuri was glad he had. They would need somewhere besides the hospital to sleep once the baby was born. That is, if the baby ever _got_ here.

His spine shuddered. He felt like he was standing at the edge of a vast, misty canyon with the other end hazed by fog, and he somehow had to find a way across it without knowing how wide it was.

It was daunting.

Kanade drifted through to check on him a few minutes later, while he was recovering from a contraction.

"Progressing a bit slowly," Kanade murmured sympathetically as she finished up, reaching to feel of his lower belly and adjust the fetal heart monitor. "You're four and a half centimeters and ninety percent effaced now."

"That little after all this time?" Viktor sounded incredulous. Yuuri had to agree.

"I'm afraid so. Labor is a long process. First time mothers are often in labor for at least twelve hours." Kanade gave Yuuri a sympathetic look as she went to wash her hands.

Yuuri huffed out a tired, resigned sigh. "My mother warned me it may be long, since it's my first baby."

"She was right. But as your contractions get closer together, you'll dilate a bit faster. Right now, you're at every eight minutes, correct?"

"Yes," Viktor answered for him, since he was sipping his water again, "It's been like that since a little before nine o'clock."

"That's normal before seven centimeters, don't worry." Kanade recorded the baby's heart rate on her clipboard. "Yuuri-san's and baby's vitals are all looking very good, so there's no cause for concern yet. I hate to say it, but sometimes it's just a waiting game."

A waiting game with no discernable end.

Great.

He was going to be here a while.

  
-

  
_12:02 pm_

  
Yuuri pillowed his cheek on his forearms with his eyes closed, keeping his breathing slow and even to calm himself down. The hot water that enveloped his lower half was really helping a lot, like a heating pad that wrapped all the way around his belly to his back, seeping heat down into his sore muscles. Coupled with Viktor rubbing his shoulders and aiming the stream of hot water from the shower head between his shoulder blades, his muscles were finally beginning to uncoil.

About half an hour prior, during a contraction, he had gotten strangely cold, so much that his teeth had chattered and he couldn't stop shaking. It had been impossible to hold his hands still. Even now that he was warmer, his hands trembled when he lifted them, and it would make his heart go nuts.

It had scared him half to death at first. He hadn't known why it was happening and, naturally, had feared that something was terribly wrong.

When she had arrived in response to Viktor's frantic button-pressing, Kanade had calmly explained that sometimes, during labor, a small amount of fetal blood crossed the mother's bloodstream, and if they had conflicting blood types, it could cause cold chills. She had suggested that he use the tub to warm up, and oh, it had helped so much.

Despite the discomfort and how anxious it made him, he found it kind of fascinating. Little bean had a different blood type than him. They were going to be their own person, an individual completely separate from him.

It made him feel a bit sad. But then, everything did these days.

A damp rag was placed on his forehead, and he tried to shy away, scowling at the nearly painful coldness on his hot, sensitive skin. "Mmnh…too much," he whined, halfheartedly batting at the hand that held it.

He felt a cool hand pat his bare shoulder, and Kanade spoke softly. "I'm know, I'm sorry, but we can't let you get too hot. Your body temperature is already raised because of labor. If it gets too high, it's bad for the baby. Hold it in place so it doesn't fall."

"Alright…" he mechanically lifted his hand, resting it limply over the cloth. He was too tired to argue too much. Besides, if it was bad for the baby for him to get hot, he'd just have to suck it up and endure the freezing rag. Once his body adjusted to the shock of cold, it was actually a pleasant contrast to the hot water.

The relief didn't last long, of course. The sharp ache of a contraction constricted his lower belly so hard and so suddenly that it startled him, causing a sudden increase in his heart rate that he could hear in his ears.

He raised his head and whimpered out a shaky noise, squeezing his eyes shut tightly and gripping the sides of the tub, knuckles blanching from the force of it. On top of the normal contraction pain in his abdomen, it felt like a sharp-knuckled fist was digging into the base of his spine. His body rocked back and forth, his head tipped back, and he lost himself to breathing through it.

Viktor's fingers brushed his shoulder, gentle and light, as if Viktor was afraid of breaking his concentration, and a soft, soothing river of Russian caressed his ears. He couldn't even begin to imagine doing this without Viktor to support him. His love and encouragement were invaluable.

He vaguely heard Kanade note that he was still contracting around eight minutes apart, and as the contraction ended, he felt the press of a small plastic object against his lower belly, followed by thick, crackling static and the rapid, swooshy _lub-dubs_ of little bean's heartbeat. The sound settled in his chest, renewing his strength and filling his heart with determination.

He was doing this for them.

"Heart rate is 142. Baby is coping with your contractions just fine so far." Kanade removed the wand and hooked the handheld doppler back onto her belt, then pulled on a glove with a snap. "Lean back, Yuuri-san."

With Viktor's help, he obeyed, replacing the cool washcloth that had fallen by the wayside unnoticed during the contraction. Two lubed fingers slipped into his birth canal, and he reflexively tensed at the sharp burn as the fingers spread apart, rubbing around where his cervix was. It felt so strange.

Apparently satisfied with her findings, Kanade carefully withdrew her fingers, shaking the water off of her arm and going to the sink to take her wet glove off and scrub her hands. "You're progressing nicely," she said over her shoulder, "you're five centimeters dilated, and you're either completely effaced or very close to it."

"It's so slow," Yuuri groaned as he shifted to a more comfortable position, hissing out a labored breath at the jolt of leftover pain between his legs. "Feels like time is crawling by." Viktor's cool fingers carded through his hair, and he closed his eyes at the comforting feeling.

"I remember how that felt," Kanade murmured. "But you're halfway to ten centimeters now. I know it seems like it will last forever, but try not to get discouraged. It will be worth it." She glanced at her watch. "I have a patient who's not far from pushing in another wing of the maternity ward. Maybe I'll have a nice story to tell when I get back." With a promise to be back soon and an encouraging pat to Viktor's back, she left.

Yuuri actually had to force himself to relax, brushing his hair off of his sweaty forehead with a jerky hand. His body didn't want to sit still. He was tense and strangely edgy, but he supposed it was because of the hormonal changes his body was undergoing. Adrenaline was a hell of a drug.

Moreover, he wanted Viktor near him, touching him, and that confused him to no end. Usually, when he was in pain or sick or just not feeling well, he had no desire to be touched at _all_ , but throughout pregnancy, and especially since labor had started, he had craved Viktor's healing touch like water in a desert. His body was practically vibrating with the need to be close to him.

He reached out, pleading, and Viktor's hand closed around his own.

"Will you get in with me?" He asked in a small voice.

It was such a gross request. He was _still_ leaking fluid, and probably would be until he delivered. The bathwater would have blood in it if he stayed in much longer.

Viktor wordlessly let go of his hand, returned to the hospital room, and Yuuri heard rustling of fabric. He blinked confusedly, but when Viktor returned wearing nothing but a pair of old, worn athletic shorts he used for pajama pants in the summertime, his heart breathed a sigh of relief. He had no idea how Viktor had known to pack those, but he was grateful for his foresight.

The hot water lapped against the sides of the tub as Viktor stepped in, easing down to recline beside Yuuri and opening his arms with a soft smile.

A lump crowding his throat, Yuuri snuggled up to Viktor's side, hugging him close and relishing the safety and protection of the strong arms that wrapped around him in turn.

"You're so good to me," he whispered, burying his nose in Viktor's fragrant neck. Unless he was imagining things, his musky scent was slightly sweeter. It felt like a loving hug just to breathe it in, somehow even more of a comfort than it usually was. Yuuri wondered if Viktor's body had molded his scent in response to the drastic changes in Yuuri's own pheromones that had been brought on by labor. Whatever the reason for the change, he loved it.

His chin was tipped by gentle fingers, and Viktor's lips pressed over his own in a tender kiss that had his eyelids fluttering. Warm and sweet like honey, with the softness of their tongues brushing together. Some of the tension melted from Yuuri's shoulders, relaxed by the kiss, and when it was broken, Viktor placed another kiss on his forehead.

"I adore you," he murmured, hand falling to rub circles into Yuuri's round, firm side. "More than anyone on this earth." He gave a quiet laugh, one that held a certain realization, and patted Yuuri's stomach. "Well. For now, anyway," he corrected.

A little smile pulled on Yuuri's lips, and he covered Viktor's hand with his own. "You may have some competition pretty soon, too." They both giggled and rubbed noses.

An abrupt contraction plucked the smile right off of his lips, brow pinching and face paling.

He hid his face in Viktor's neck, mentally latched onto a breathing pattern, and clung to him in desperation.

For the next several contractions, that was their own little world. Lying together in the warm, soothing water, trading soft words and kisses in between the pain. When the contractions came with rapidly increasing intensity, stealing Yuuri's coherent thought and making his heart pound in fear, Viktor's tender touch grounded him, holding him steady with unwavering strength.

Labor was the hurricane, and Viktor was the anchor that moored Yuuri to shore, keeping him from being swept out to sea.

  
-

  
_2:17 pm_

  
As Yuuri was recovering from a hard contraction (that he had thankfully been able to keep relatively quiet through), the doorknob clicked and the door slowly opened, and Yuri and Phichit entered the room as if stepping into an active minefield, tiptoeing and glancing around warily.

They spotted Yuuri, who was propped up in the bed and panting with exertion, and he held a finger to his lips, canting his head in Viktor's direction: he was currently fast asleep on the couch, stretched out on his back with his hands folded on his broad chest.

"Why is he asleep?" Yuri whispered, jerking his thumb toward the couch. "Shouldn't he be awake, rubbing your back and helping you breathe and being a simpering helicopter dad like usual?"

"He's asleep because I _made_ him sleep," Yuuri stated under his breath, leaning his head back onto the pillow and sighing at the ceiling in relief as the last vestiges of tightness faded away under his hand. "He was dead on his feet. He only got a few minutes of sleep last night." Yuri grunted in lieu of acknowledgement, sinking down on the bed.

Dark grey eyes full of concern, Phichit sat on the bed next to Yuuri's hip, giving his belly a soft pat. "How are you feeling so far?"

Yuuri let out a weak, incredulous laugh. "It hurts. That's about all I can offer." Phichit gave a sympathetic hum and leaned down to give him a loose hug.

He noticed that both of them had changed into comfortable clothes, as opposed to their exhibition costumes. They had both, along with Otabek, Chris, and Minami, matter-of-factly informed Viktor and Yuuri that they would be in for the long haul, no matter how long it took, so it made sense that they were dressed in sweatpants and hoodies. They would be "setting up camp" in the waiting room, as Minami had put it. Yuuri could just imagine Minami cheerfully pitching an actual tent in the hospital waiting room, to the dismay of the hospital staff.

"How was the exhibition?" Yuuri asked, linking his fingers on his lower belly. He really had to reach to do it now, with how low he had dropped.

Phichit shrugged. "It was there. I was too busy worrying to have much fun, to be honest."

Yuuri pursed his lips. "You really don't have to worry, I'm fine…just super tired."

"Hey, my best buddy is in labor, let me worry a little," Phichit said wryly.

"Where are your mom and dad, and Mari?" Yuri asked with a frown. "I thought they were coming. Didn't see them in the waiting room."

"They're napping at the hotel. I'm still only at six centimeters, and they were all so tired they could barely stand. With how slow I'm progressing, they have time to rest up before anything major happens." Yuuri stifled a yawn. "I may have to start napping in between contractions or something myself. I'm getting so sleepy." He blinked hard. "I'm kinda surprised Minami didn't come with you."

Yuri rolled his eyes, curling his lip. "He's in the waiting room, wringing his hands. Said he didn't want to intrude. He didn't know if you'd want visitors."

Yuuri's heart melted at the consideration. "Aw, go get him, I don't mind if he comes in here."

Phichit got up. "I'll go. He'll believe me over Yuri any day."

Yuri snorted. "Pff, wow. I'm right here."

"Astute observation." Phichit gently yanked Yuri's hood up over his head. "You're also the one who told the triplets that babies were found in cabbage patches."

"Hey, I have to have fun somehow. It's not my fault they believed me."

Yuuri chuckled. A year ago, he couldn't have imagined Yuri engaging in comfortable banter with Phichit like that. Or anyone, for that matter. He had come a long way.

Unfortunately, seconds after Phichit left, any desire to laugh was soundly quelled by his uterine muscles going rigid.

He squeezed his eyes shut and turned on his side to bury his face in the pillow, clutching the bed railing in an iron grip as the waves of pain washed over him. He puffed and panted, attempting to be quiet so he wouldn't wake Viktor, but as the ache intensified, he had to stifle the urge to whimper with each exhale.

He felt a hand rest on his calf, rubbing so gently that it shocked him. No words were spoken at first, but the pheromones Yuri was giving off were sharp and nervous.

"Stop holding your breath," Yuuri heard him mutter.

Unaware that he had been, he hastily sucked in a breath, forcing his body to breathe properly even though it wanted to tense up and fight the pain. It lasted a good forty-five seconds, maybe even longer, and he had to find his breath when it ended, because it didn't seem to want to come back.

Body limp as a dishrag, he pried his cramping fingers off of the railing and cracked his heavy eyelids open. Phichit and Minami were standing a little ways away from the bed, both openly staring, not out of rudeness, but of abject worry. Yuri hadn't been kidding: Minami was literally wringing his hands.

"How far apart this time?" Phichit asked quietly, approaching the bed.

Yuuri lifted a violently trembling hand to wipe his damp forehead, glancing at the clock on the wall and then doing a double take and squinting. He had to stare at it for a minute before it made a lick of sense to him. His brain was numb and foggy.

"I think…seven minutes and…thirty seconds," he panted, eyes drifting shut again. "A little closer. I hope that keeps up. I've been stuck at eight minutes for _hours_." The last few words came out in a pained, whining breath. He felt a hand squeeze his shoulder in sympathy.

He wasn't usually one to complain, but damn, if this wasn't wearing him out. He couldn't remember ever being so tired, not even after he nearly lost the baby months prior. His limbs felt weighed down and weak, and his pulse was beginning to throb painfully in his temples during contractions. The added stress of making no progress wasn't helping anything.

"I'm scared," Minami whispered, speaking for the first time, and Yuuri opened his eyes. "I don't like seeing you hurt that much, it scares me." His soft brown eyes were wet, worried sick. Despite being exhausted, Yuuri's heart ached for him. Minami was very sensitive. He felt bad for asking him to come in here.

Yuuri reached out, offering an unsteady hand, and Minami took it, holding it in both his own.

"I have to hurt," he explained softly, and Minami's lip quivered and he turned his face away. "It's a fact of life, Minami-kun. Bringing babies into the world is painful. But don't worry so much, okay? I'll be fine. I'm not going anywhere."

"Can't they give you something?" His voice caught. "Like a painkiller?"

Yuuri managed a faint smile. "They can, but I don't want it."

"Why?" Minami sounded desperately confused.

Yuuri rested his free hand low on the side of his big bump, which was relaxed and soft again, hanging slightly to the side off of his torso and resting on the bed. Little bean was squirming lazily, and he could feel tiny hands rubbing the inner walls of his womb, right underneath his palm. The weight of the love he felt for them pressed down on his heart.

"Painkillers aren't good for the baby. They're still connected to me through their umbilical cord, so any drugs the doctors gave me would reach little bean's bloodstream, too. It could hurt their brain," he explained simply. There was a host of other reasons, but that was the most important.

Minami's shoulders drooped, his gaze downcast. "I just wish there was some way to help…"

"There is." Yuuri squeezed his hand, speaking gently but firmly. "I can tell that seeing me like this isn't easy for you. So what I want you to do is go back to the waiting room and cheer me on from there. Hey." Minami looked up, sadness in his eyes. "I'll be alright, okay? This is a short time. Every contraction brings me closer to meeting little bean. Think of it that way, if it helps."

He wasn't just talking to Minami, but to himself, as well.

Evidenced by his shallow breathing and red eyes, Minami was obviously holding back tears, but he nodded once, his lips quivering.

"You're so strong," he wavered, dipping down to give Yuuri a gentle hug. "I admire you so much, Yuuri-san. I know you can get through this."

Yuuri closed his eyes, rubbing Minami's back. "Send me some good vibes from the waiting room," he murmured.

Minami's head nodded against his shoulder. "I will! I'll send so many! You can count on me!"

Once Minami had left, sniffling and clenching his fists in resolve, Yuri let out a loud sigh.

"That was physically painful to watch."

Yuuri closed his eyes in a tired eye roll at the rudeness. "Minami's a sweet, emotional kid. I don't blame him. I wouldn't want to see my idol like this, either." His gaze strayed to the couch, where Viktor was sleeping away, as he had been for nearly two hours now. His heart did a little backflip at how cute his snoozing husband-to-be was.

He was glad that Viktor had been able to get so much rest. He had protested incredulously when Yuuri had told him to take a nap, unsettled at the thought of leaving him to labor alone, but Yuuri had put his foot down. The caffeine from the coffee had long since worn off, leaving Viktor even more exhausted than before, and the lines of tiredness and worry etched into his features had almost hurt to look at. He had actually fallen asleep holding Yuuri's hand through a contraction at one point, jerking awake when Yuuri had tapped his shoulder after it ended. Once he knew Phichit and Yuri would be coming to sit with Yuuri, he was asleep so fast that Yuuri was saddened.

Now, his face was free of tension, save for the ever-present creases beneath his deep-set eyes that Yuuri had always thought made him look distinguished, though Viktor just said they made him look old. His lips were relaxed in sleep, peachy and pretty, and the hands on his chest rose and fell with his slow, peaceful breathing. The golden band on his finger caught the afternoon light, sparkling in the sunshine.

Yuuri was smiling, and he didn't even realize it.

Viktor kept telling Yuuri that he was the strong one, but Yuuri thought Viktor was just as amazing as him. Just like Minami, he could tell how difficult it was for Viktor to see him hurt so badly. Viktor was empathetic to a fault, and when he was worried, especially about Yuuri, he was extremely transparent, his heart naked on his sleeve for the world to see. Yuuri could see the near physical pain shadow his baby blue eyes when the contractions came, but he had never once shied away. Instead, he drew closer, selflessly offering his precious heart and soul for Yuuri to draw strength from.

Yuuri's heart ached with love for him. He was going to be a wonderful father.

Phichit and Yuri coached him through nearly an hour of contractions, and even though the pain was steadily escalating, just shy of becoming unbearable, Yuuri stayed relatively silent.

Viktor deserved the respite.

  
-

 

**[Phichit Chulanont sent a photo to Labor Updates! ♡]**

[](http://i.imgur.com/ZQr4w8y) 

They're dancing TT_TT

 **Georgi:**  
How romantic...

 **Mila:**  
That's so sweet I could cry

 

-

  
_4:41 pm_

  
A low, wavering cry escaped Yuuri's throat and went on and on, muffled by the sheets and blankets his face was buried in. The ache was so tight and so low, he was even beginning to feel it in his thighs, making them quiver uncontrollably with each contraction.

He felt a soft hand on his bare back, and in the back of his mind, he actually felt bad for worrying Viktor so much. He could smell it on him, the scent of anxiety thickening the air and stinging his nostrils.

"You have to breathe, love," he heard distantly. Out of pure necessity and reflex, his body obeyed.

He was on his chest and knees on the bed with his face buried in his arms, belly resting on the soft surface and his ass in the air, hips swaying. Any other time, the position would have made him blush until his chest turned scarlet, but right now, it helped the pain, and he didn't give a single fuck how ridiculous he looked.

This was a far cry from any Braxton Hicks he had ever had, even the bad one that had scared Yuri to death at the NHK Trophy. This was a deep, _hard_ cramp of his entire uterus that wrapped around to his back and made it very hard to draw a full breath. It was like a gigantic fist was wringing him out from chest to thighs. The almost knifelike pain on his pubic bone was unrelenting at this point from the mounting pressure of the baby's head against it.

It _hurt_. In so many different ways.

The contraction mercifully ended, leaving him shaking and sweating and parched. Without prompting, Viktor handed him his half-empty bottle of Gatorade that they had refilled with ice water many times already, and he raised his chin and took a few slow sips, sighing in relief at the coolness. He felt gentle fingers at his birth canal, so he spread his knees a bit further apart and buried his face in the sheets, gritting his teeth at the necessary pain of Kanade checking his dilation.

"Six and a half," Kanade whispered, and Yuuri winced as her fingers pulled out. "Good progress. You're doing so well."

Somehow, the words rolled off of him like water off of a duck's back. He didn't feel like he was doing well at all. Half a centimeter in two hours was _way_ too little.

And he had to do this for several more hours. Oh, God, his stomach churned at the thought.

Kanade left with words of encouragement and a backward wave, and Yuuri pushed all the way up with shaking arms, feeling his throat close up out of nowhere. He had been holding it together with her in the room, but now, he struggled to keep breathing normally.

The same terrified, inadequate feeling that he'd been bottling up for months filled his chest once again, bringing deep-rooted fears to a boil.

What the hell was he _doing?_

He was a kid himself, he shouldn't be having a _baby_ , for fuck's sake. He could barely take care of himself in the middle of a depressive episode or a panic attack. He should never be in charge of a child, much less a tiny, helpless newborn that would depend on him for literally _everything_.

How could he have done that to Viktor, getting pregnant and tying him down to someone who was barely even a functional adult?

_What a horrible fiancé you are._

"Yuuri? Baby, try to slow your breathing. Tell me what you're thinking," he heard Viktor say softly. The bed dipped and a cool hand slipped into his own, holding loosely.

He attempted to swallow the panic back, his breathing shallow. "Too much," he panted. "About…everything, I guess. F-feels like I'm too young to be… _here_ , right now." His foot tapped a steady, compulsive rhythm against the bed.

He didn't often feel this way, but it was the same overwhelming sense of misplacement that he had felt when he had first started college. It was like a fight-or-flight sensation, his mind screaming "I can't do this, I shouldn't be here, I'm too young, get me out of here, I want to go home," etcetera, and he had a lot of trouble shutting it off.

When he looked up, Viktor's eyes were pained. "I know it's scary, honey. I…" he looked away, wincing. "…I know we talked about it already, but sometimes I still struggle with feeling like I shoved you into parenthood before you were ready. Like I should have been more careful before I casually threw your future away for you."

"You did nothing of the sort," Yuuri said hotly, voice shaking.

"I know, but…it feels like it sometimes. That one mistake I made cost you so much pain and suffering and…and _worry_ , and…" Viktor rubbed his hand over his face, looking miserable.

His throat already tightening, Yuuri opened his mouth to violently protest, but Viktor cut him off.

"But…then, I feel little bean kick in your tummy, or see their precious face on the ultrasound monitor, or see your eyes light up when you talk to them, and I'm so consumed by joy and love for both of you that I think, surely you getting pregnant couldn't have been just a _mistake_." There was a familiar determination shining in his eyes, deep and blue as the ocean. "I know you're scared, baby. I'm scared, too. I'm terrified of being a dad." His voice wavered almost imperceptibly. "I'm so afraid I won't be good enough, that I'll mess up somehow." He rested a hand on Yuuri's swollen stomach, rubbing a gentle path back and forth. "But Yuuri, I love that baby in there, and I love you, too." His eyes softened. "I believe that…all of this happened for a reason. To draw us closer, to help us mature." He pressed his forehead against Yuuri's, cupping his cheek. "To teach us how to love each other unconditionally," he whispered tightly.

Yuuri sniffled shakily, a tear trickling down his cheek. He was right.

"J-just scares me to think of…doing this without you," he wavered. "If I had been alone, I…I…" he choked on the rest of the words, eyes slamming shut.

"Oh, sweetheart, no…" Viktor's thumb caught each tear that trickled down Yuuri's cheeks. "You're not alone. I'm _marrying_ you in four months. I'll be bonded to you in spirit for the rest of our lives. You'll be my husband, my other half, even more than you already are now, and we'll be parents to a beautiful little boy or girl." He lifted Yuuri's chin and their lips met, pooling more tears in Yuuri's eyes. When they parted, Viktor kissed his wet cheek. "We're a team for the long run, sweetheart. You'll never be alone again."

Yuuri fully broke down, weeping, and slipped his arms around Viktor's neck, pressing his nose to the scent gland in his soft throat. Viktor hugged him back, warm and large and so _gentle_ , and the cool, soothing smell that was unique to him filled Yuuri's lungs, holding his soul just as Viktor was holding his body, in a strong, protective embrace.

"I love you," he sobbed, "I love you so much…I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I…I…" he gulped in air, trying not to hyperventilate as the panic finally reached a peak.

Viktor held him through it all, rocking him and sweetly kissing him with his soft, soft lips. Even as another contraction started up, Viktor didn't let go, but rubbed his back with the heel of his hand and whispered words so loving that Yuuri's heart ached with adoration, despite the pain.

He could do this. He had Viktor to lean on.

He wasn't alone.

_He wasn't alone._

  
-

  
_5:37 pm_

  
"Ohhhh, God, Viktor—"

"I'm here, love, I've got you…"

Yuuri voiced a harsh, low groan into Viktor's shoulder, a sound he had never heard him make before, deep and strained and animalistic. Fingernails dug into his back, but he paid the minor discomfort no mind, simply pressing a light kiss to Yuuri's temple.

That slight pain was nothing compared to what Yuuri was enduring right now.

They were seated on the bed with Yuuri in Viktor's lap, clinging to him and trembling through a contraction. His stomach was pressed to Viktor's, so he could feel just how insanely rigid it was, muscles seized up and unyielding, working hard to force their baby down through Yuuri's body so they could be born.

He couldn't imagine how agonizing it was.

Yuuri's hands tightened, and a rough curse muffled into Viktor's shoulder made him close his eyes in sympathy. It was the first time all day he had heard Yuuri swear. He rubbed his hand up and down Yuuri's heaving back, feeling Yuuri nose against his neck.

"Breathe with me," he whispered, making his own breathing louder so Yuuri could follow along. Yuuri's frantic breaths slowed by a tiny bit, but Viktor could really sense him struggling. When he felt wetness on his neck and heard the telltale shaky gasping of tears, his heart nearly folded up on itself. There was another first: Yuuri hadn't cried from the pain yet, either.

Hiroko sat on the bed behind Yuuri, rubbing his lower back with a firm, gentle touch, but she was quiet. She was leaving most of the verbal encouragement to Viktor, because she had said she didn't want to overwhelm or distract Yuuri with too much talking at once.

Viktor could understand. When the contractions came, it was almost like Yuuri slipped into a trance for the duration, concentrating so hard on his breathing that sometimes he wouldn't even hear things that were said to him. The noise level varied greatly; sometimes he puffed and whined and groaned and cried out, but sometimes, he was eerily silent, eyes bright and glassy with pain and staring at nothing.

He later confessed to Viktor that the ones where he was quiet were the most unbearable.

It made Viktor uneasy.

Yuuri went slack against him, head lolling on his shoulder, sobbing weakly and gasping for breath as if he had just run five miles. Viktor could feel just how hot he was even through his hospital gown. His body heat seeped through the thin, soft fabric that was damp with sweat; Viktor could feel the warmth of his cheek on his shoulder through his shirt, almost feverish.

"Good job," he murmured, combing his fingers through Yuuri's sweaty hair. His head shifted on Viktor's shoulder, then was replaced by a hand holding onto him for balance.

"I need to move." The words were tearfully grated out.

Viktor helped him stand, slipping an arm around his back to support him. They paced the room for a while, having to stop and sway in place every time Yuuri had a contraction.

The intensity of Yuuri's cries increased with each one, and it cut Viktor's heart like a scalpel.

As Yuuri rocked against him and gasped out frightened yelps and whines, hands quivering and clenching at the back of his neck, Viktor glanced at the clock, and his eyebrows lifted when he saw the time. This latest contraction had come much sooner. Nearly two minutes sooner, only five minutes after the one before it.

He subtly nodded to Hiroko and gestured to the red button on the wall, mouthing "press the button" to her, and she swiftly obeyed, eyes wide.

Not thirty seconds later, as if she had been on the way already, Kanade jogged into the room wearing an expression of concern.

"Everything alright?"

Viktor nodded, rubbing Yuuri's back, feeling it expand and contract with his heavy breathing. "Last two contractions were five minutes apart," he explained.

Her lips formed an 'o' of understanding. Hiroko quietly moved out of the way as Kanade stepped behind Yuuri and pressed on his lower back, rubbing with skilled hands.

"I'll need to check him," she whispered. "Help him back to the bed once it ends."

Once Yuuri was limply reclined on the bed with his head tilted back on the pillow, Kanade slipped one glove on. "Yuuri-san, lift your legs, please."

Sadness swirled in Viktor's torso when Yuuri didn't even acknowledge her, but kept panting shallowly with his eyes closed, a pained pucker marring his pale brow and tears glistening on his face.

Kanade gently pulled one of his legs back, gesturing for Viktor to do the same, so he held Yuuri's other leg up and to the side so Kanade could pull the gauzy underwear aside at the crotch and slip two fingers into his birth canal to check his dilation. Yuuri gave a shaky exhale, face twisting and teeth clenching, and lifted his arm to press his hand over his eyes. Guilt stabbed Viktor in the chest.

"Seven centimeters," Kanade murmured, pulling her glove off and tossing it in the bio hazard bin. "You're moving into transition, Yuuri-san. It may not be much longer now, but it will get worse from here before it gets better. Might want to leave your undergarments off, I'll be checking you pretty frequently now. We can put a pad down on the bed if you're still worried about your fluid."

A fragile, willowy smile graced Yuuri's lips, barely there, and the sight of it made Viktor's heart turn several backflips.

"I can't wait to meet little bean," Yuuri whispered.

Viktor couldn't, either.

He also couldn't wait for Yuuri to not be in pain anymore.

  
-

  
_6:07 pm_

  
Transition, as it turned out, was the absolute most hellish pain Yuuri had ever endured in his entire twenty-five years of life.

He screamed until his throat was bloody and raw. He sobbed, deep and heaving, until he was gasping for breath. He yanked at his hair, his lizard brain frantically trying to distract himself from the pain, until Viktor gently stopped him.

He was fucking _terrified_.

Could he really do this? Had he been kidding himself with this whole "natural, drug-free birth" thing? This had to be impossible. People couldn't possibly do this and survive.

All modesty thrown out the window, he asked if he could take the gown off; it no longer felt soft to him, brushing unpleasantly against his sweaty, feverish skin. Kanade immediately helped him out of it, draping it over the rail of the bed. Any other time, he'd have been horribly embarrassed to be naked in front of a stranger, especially with his belly this gigantic, but it was the last thing on his mind. Even the nursing pads he wore began to irritate him, and he peeled them off and angrily tossed them in the garbage, not giving the slightest shit that he was already leaking colostrum from the jostling. It was probably nothing Kanade hadn't seen before.

That stupid fucking nurse came back, and before she had even opened her mouth, he screamed at her to get _out_ and _stop fucking offering an epidural when he couldn't have it, God dammit, you insensitive fucking asshole._

She didn't come back. He was ashamed of himself for being so rude to her. Or, rather, a microscopic part of him was. The rest of him had been swapped out with someone he didn't even recognize.

Someone who was suffering inconceivable agony and had no idea how to cope with it.

All he could do was scream, and scream, and _scream_.

He…he couldn't do this.

There was no way.

  
-

  
_6:11 pm_

  
The muffled screams coming from down the hall had every nerve in Yuri's body wound as tightly as humanly possible, one gentle breeze away from snapping.

He tapped his toes on the white tile floor, casually scrolling through his phone like his insides weren't about to jump several feet out of his body at any given moment. It sounded like the contractions were about a minute apart, if even that.

Katsudon could be loud as _fuck_ when he wanted to be.

Yuri had never heard him scream like that—or anyone else, for that matter—and it was positively blood-chilling. There probably wasn't a single actor in Hollywood who could accurately portray pain of that magnitude.

Locking his phone, he glanced around to see if anyone was staring at him in his obvious state of worry, but no one was.

Christophe was currently gone on a fast food run. Phichit was on his own phone, trying (and failing) to pretend he wasn't just as on edge as Yuri was. The hyperactive puppy had an old, worn manga in his lap, but he wasn't reading it, instead furiously picking at the cuticles around his fingernails, his shock of red bangs hiding his eyes. Beka was watching a YouTube video with his earbuds in, but he would pause and listen when the muted screams sounded from down the hall, his fingers drumming an uneven rhythm on the arm of the chair and a worried crease appearing between his dark brows. Yakov and Lilia sat next to each other, conversing quietly every now and then with Yuuri's old coach, the one with the Fabio hair, and they all wore pinched expressions. Mari and Yuuri's dad were on the edge of their seats, shifting anxiously every time they heard Yuuri have a contraction.

Okay, so they were _all_ worried out of their minds, big deal. Maybe he wasn't weird after all.

Several varying notification sounds pinged all around, and nearly everyone in the room jerked their phones up to check the group chat.

 **Viktor:**  
in transition 8 cm 2 more to go, less than a min apart. he just literally threw up cause he's hurting so fucking bad you guys im scared

It wasn't at all like Viktor to not use proper capitalization, and even less like him to curse. He must have really been flustered and distracted.

Fingers tapped out replies all around the room.

 **Phichit:**  
tell him we love him and we're cheering him on :c

 **Otabek:**  
He can do this.

 **Yuri:**  
He'll be fine, you worry too much.

 **Yuuko:**  
Oh, god, transition is the worst, it makes you feel so sick. :( but that means he'll be pushing soon! Bean's on their way!!

 **Georgi:**  
On the edge of my seat here!

 **Mila:**  
Ghdjdfjdjfdhth come on beanie!!! YOU CAN DO IT YUURIIII

Minami was the only one who hadn't reached for his phone, still peeling at his cuticles. Yuri saw tiny streaks of blood smeared on his fingers.

"Is he hurting badly?" Minami whispered. Yuri sighed through his nose, rolling his eyes beneath his lids. What a retarded question, of course Katsudon was hurting, he was having a baby with no damn painkillers. The latest shriek of pain from down the hall answered the idiot, and his gaze shot up in that direction, his petite face paling by several shades.

Yuri glanced at the clock on his phone; one minute again, but barely. He had to be close to pushing by now, right?

Phichit reluctantly nodded. "That's what Viktor's saying." He sighed, rubbing his eyes. "I saw Yuuri fall on the ice and snap a bone in his left thumb completely in two back in Detroit, and he barely even made a sound. His pain tolerance is scary fucking high. If he's screaming in there…"

He didn't finish, but the implication was there.

Yuri's stomach writhed.

He was _never_ having kids. Over his dead body.

As the minutes multiplied, stretching into an hour, then two, all they could do was wait and listen, completely helpless.

The agonized cries were slowly losing their strength.

  
-

  
_6:59 pm_

  
It was never going to fucking end.

It felt like he had been thrown onto another plane of reality, trapped in an endless time loop of pure torture. The contractions were less than a minute apart, and they must have lasted at least a minute each, some of them stretching into seventy, eighty, even ninety seconds. It was utterly unbearable.

At one point, during what felt like several straight _minutes_ of contractions, he threw up on the floor, half delirious from the pain, and was pretty sure he blacked out for a few seconds after. Poor Viktor was terrified when he woke up, but Kanade comforted him gently; lots of mothers temporarily passed out or vomited during transition, according to her.

Yuuri literally started to wonder if he was going to die. Surely the human body could only take so much pain before something just…broke.

But Kanade, Viktor, and his mother were right there, telling him that he could get through this.

He honestly didn't know whether to believe them or not, because he felt more like giving up. Though he had no idea what giving up entailed. There was really no way to give up. He was way past the point of an epidural.

He just didn't want to hurt anymore.

His body moved of its own accord, rocking, trembling, constantly moving in some way, frantic and restless and desperate to get away from the excruciating pain he was in, but to no avail. His mind was a screaming haze of white noise, overwhelmed and disoriented. His voice had long since worn ragged, and had he been more coherent, he'd have been mortified at how much he was cursing, and in front of his mother, no less. He couldn't help it; it was like the filter between his brain and mouth had been cleanly removed. He could only be distantly thankful that she didn't fully understand what the words meant, though Viktor certainly did.

Viktor…oh, Viktor. The sliver of Yuuri's mind that was still rational felt so awful for him, as ridiculous and reversed as that seemed.

He had been doing a pretty good job of concealing it thus far, but now, Viktor was starting to slip, his expressions and actions revealing just how frightened he was. Sometimes, it even seemed like he was hurting right alongside Yuuri; he would grimace and even turn his face away during contractions. Yuuri had even noticed him tear up and touch his stomach with shaking fingers several times during the really bad ones. It was obvious that he was trying to hide it.

If Viktor was actually feeling sympathy pains along with him, he would never forgive himself. He wouldn't wish even a fraction of this level of agony on his worst enemy, much less the father of his baby.

His chest expanded and contracted rapidly as the latest contraction ended. He couldn't get enough air in, it was like he was trying to breathing through a pillow. Kanade…she was talking to him. Still nine centimeters…great. She had checked him? He hadn't even felt it. He was too busy feeling like the baby's head was right between his legs. His stomach was starting to want to scrunch up during contractions.

"How much pressure are you feeling," Kanade asked him softly, as if reading his mind.

"A lot," he managed, reaching down to fumble a hand against his crotch. With how much heaviness he felt down there, pressing on his pelvic floor muscles, he was shocked that it didn't feel different from the outside. He had expected it to be pushed out at least a little bit by the baby's head.

"Feeling any urge to push yet?"

"I…I think so." It felt more like he needed to poop, but he knew it was the baby being pushed down through his pelvis by the contractions that was causing the urge.

Actually, the more he thought about it, pushing sounded marvelous. Maybe it would give him some relief.

Kanade gently felt of the underside of his belly, pressing inward around his pubic bone with her fingers. She moved the fetal heart monitor further down and to the side. "If you feel up to it, you can go ahead and get on your knees, or whichever position you'll feel the most comfortable pushing in. You'll be pushing in the next thirty minutes, perhaps even sooner."

A crackle of electricity shot down Yuuri's spine, freezing him in place. Slowly, resolve flared up in his chest, and his expression hardened. He wiped the sweat from his forehead, brows coming down in determination.

He was almost at the end.

  
-

  
_7:25 pm_

  
As soon as Kanade told him he'd be pushing soon, Yuuri seemed to find a second wind. His strength had been flagging, and he had been exhausted and almost incoherent, but now his eyes were a bit clearer, even through the terrible pains that were coming hard and fast.

With that second wind, though, came a second deluge of cursing.

"Fuck, fuck, _fuck!"_ Yuuri wailed, gripping the rail at the back of the bed with white-knuckled hands and using it to pull himself back and forth, his head tipped back and his eyes lit with agony. Viktor had never, _ever_ seen that look in those soft, sweet brown irises.

It was…slightly terrifying.

"I can't get a break," he coughed out through a half-sob, arms quivering, "it never fucking stops!" His breath was starting to wheeze, as if he was having trouble breathing, and it worried Viktor to death.

"I know it hurts, but it's productive pain," Kanade said from behind him, a triumphant smile crinkling the corners of her eyes. "You're fully dilated, you can start pushing any time."

"Thank _God_ ," Yuuri hissed, the closest thing to happiness Viktor had seen in hours sparking in his eyes. He shifted to his knees, ran a hand through his sweaty hair, wrapped it firmly around the railing again, and closed his eyes. His chest rose and fell with a deep breath, and some of the tension drained from his shoulders, as if he was centering himself.

Viktor dared to place his hand over one of Yuuri's, a bit wary of how he may react with how much pain he was in. Wasn't this the part in all the movies where he was supposed to be getting threatened within an inch of his life? Maybe promises of his dick getting chopped off with a rusty saw? Yuuri outright telling him he hated him, that this was all Viktor's fault, and that they'd never have sex again?

But Yuuri did none of those things.

He just turned his hand over, lacing their fingers and clinking their rings together. He gave Viktor's hand a heartbreakingly gentle squeeze, a frail smile lifting one corner of his mouth. His cheeks were mottled with a mixture of pale and flushed, his hair was damp and plastered to his sweat-slick forehead, his glasses were crooked on the bridge of his cute nose, and he was trembling like a baby bird.

But, to Viktor, he was utterly breathtaking.

"Let's meet our baby," he panted, voice rising slightly on the end of the sentence and pain flaring bright in his cinnamon brown irises. A contraction must have been coming.

 _"Ganbatte,"_ Viktor whispered, leaning forward to kiss his nose.

A weak smile flickered across his face, then his back hunched, his eyes squeezed shut, and he started pushing.

  
-

  
He'd have never thought it, but pushing was easier than everything he'd been through so far.

It still hurt, of course. But now, all of the seemingly fruitless pain he had been through _meant_ something, and it gave him so much strength.

Kanade gave him plenty of space, never once ordering him around or touching him too much, and kept an eagle eye on both sets of vitals. She gave him firsthand advice on how to push (which literally consisted of "It's very similar to a bowel movement, just let it happen. Push with your contractions."), but he almost found it unnecessary.

His body knew exactly what to do.

With each long, hard contraction, he bore down in increments of ten seconds; pushing for ten, resting for a few, then pushing again, the pattern continuing until the contraction ebbed away. He could feel the minute slide of the baby down through his body, moving mere millimeters with each push, building the pressure on his pelvic floor slowly but surely. It felt so productive, like he had finally figured out how to work with his body instead of against it.

Viktor gripped Yuuri's hand. "They're almost here, sweetheart, you're doing so well," he breathed, and Yuuri reached up to cup the back of his neck, bringing their foreheads together in silent thanks.

At first, it had seemed like it would take no time at all to get the baby out, and his forgotten confidence began to return.

It would be over before he knew it.

But then, the breathing difficulty returned, and he started to lose track of time.

  
-

  
_7:38_

  
Viktor's heart pounded in his neck as Yuuri came down from the latest contraction red-faced and visibly struggling to breathe. He was panting harshly, far too fast, and swaying like a tree in the wind. Viktor saw Kanade's metaphorical dog ears lift in concern.

"Yuuri-san?"

No response, as if Yuuri couldn't summon the breath to form the words.

"Babe?" Viktor raised his voice in alarm.

Yuuri coughed roughly, pressing his hand to his sternum, and Viktor lightly rested his hand at the small of his back, unsure of what to do.

"Feels like…hard time…catching my breath," he panted heavily, blinking his eyes hard.

Kanade's eyes softened. "That's actually very common during pushing. Are you dizzy?" Yuuri gave a weak nod. "I can put you on oxygen for a bit if you'd like."

"I…I don't…" Yuuri's eyes were full of worry and desperation. "Will it hurt the baby?"

"Not at all. It will get more oxygen to your brain, so you won't feel as out of breath. You can refuse, of course, I'm just letting you know the offer is there. It's completely safe for both you and baby, I promise you. No drugs involved whatsoever."

"Okay," Yuuri conceded wearily. Kanade reached to unwind a cannula from one of the machines beside the bed, draped the loop of plastic over his head, gently fitted it below his nostrils, and switched the machine on. It whirred quietly to life, and almost immediately, some of the tightness left his posture.

Viktor rubbed his back. "Better?"

"Much," he affirmed softly, adjusting the cannula and closing his eyes. As he slowly inhaled and exhaled, his breathing gradually became less labored, and Viktor released a sigh of relief right along with him.

As Yuuri resumed pushing, the noises he was making started to change. He had been mostly quiet through pushing so far, but now, his voice scraped its way out of his chest in deep, gravelly moans with each contraction, resembling a battle cry more than a sound of fear. He declined the offer for Viktor to hold his hand, wanting instead to rest his forehead on Viktor's shoulder and grip the railing with his hands.

"I don't want to break your fingers," he said calmly during a rest period.

A chill crawled up Viktor's spine.

His Yuuri was so strong.

  
-

  
**Viktor:**  
PUSHING

 **Chris:**  
AAAHHHHH

 **Phichit:**  
FHSKDHDJFJDKHJDDJF COME ON BABY BEAN

 **Yuri:**  
if bean ain't a girl just stick it back up in there

 **Mila:**  
I'M VIBRATING WITH EXCITEMENT OVER HERE  
Oh my fuck, Yuri

 **Minami:**  
He's not screaming anymore, is he okay???

 **Viktor:**  
he's fine, just working really hard. he said thank you for worrying about him ♡

 **Minami:**  
;_; ♡

 **Viktor:**  
go stick a cattle prod in your eye socket i'm going to laugh my ass off someday when you have kids you shitty brat fuck you  
Sorry, that was directed at Yuri, Yuuri typed it (^♡^;) let me get off of here, he needs me.

 **Georgi:**  
Omfg

 **Mila:**  
I'm wheezing

 **Yuri:**  
bravo, now that's the katsudon I know

 **Yuuko:**  
Goooo Yuuriiii!!!

  
-

  
_7:51 pm_

  
Eventually, Yuuri got tired of being backwards in the bed and moved to the foot of it, kneeling with his hands clutching the mattress and his face buried in Viktor's warm, comforting shoulder.

It was nothing like the exaggerations of childbirth in TV and movies. It was…surprisingly serene, besides the excruciating pain. No frantic screaming, no doctors rushing around and barking orders, no one fainting…

…well. No one fainting again. He was going to be embarrassed about that for the rest of his life.

But somehow, even the pain wasn't as bad now. He didn't even have the urge to scream anymore; something in him told him not to waste his energy, to focus it on getting this baby out of him instead.

It felt like a final battle. His bones were lit with a fire of determination more intense than he'd ever felt at a skating competition.

He was finally going to meet the baby that had grown inside his womb for nine months. He was actually going to get to see them after all the waiting and agonizing and fearing that he would lose them. He would hold them in his arms, look into their eyes, feed them with his own body, nurture and love them.

God, he hoped they looked like Viktor.

Each strong, chin-to-chest push mounted the pressure in his pelvis until it felt like his hip bones were literally being shoved apart by the baby's head. He supposed that, in a way, they were. Kanade had been right: it really did feel like a bowel movement. Just…the worst one of his entire life. At least he'd be rewarded handsomely for his efforts at the end. Thank God, he had had an actual bowel movement hours ago, and hadn't felt like eating anything but a grape-flavored popsicle since, removing that worry from his mind.

"…seven…eight…nine…ten…good job. Take a breather until the next contraction," Kanade murmured, standing beside the bed and kneading his lower back. Her other hand held a warm, wet washcloth over the slit on his perineum; not only was it soothing, she had explained that it would loosen the delicate tissue down there and lessen the chances of him tearing when the baby's head crowned.

His mother's soft, cool hand rested between his shoulder blades, rubbing a comforting path back and forth, and she would kiss his brow and whisper in Japanese every now and then, telling him how strong he was.

Honestly, he _felt_ strong, now that he wasn't struggling to breathe. His body was doing an amazing, unbelievable, utterly insane thing right now, bringing a brand new life into the world. He couldn't help but feel empowered.

He accepted the water Viktor held to his lips, barely having time to swallow and breathe a word of thanks before another contraction gripped him and he bore down again, puffing breaths through his lips and keeping the push going as Kanade quietly counted for him once, twice, three times. When the contraction ended, he reached down to feel, and Kanade briefly moved the washcloth so he could.

Oh.

It was definitely beginning to bulge now. The roundness of the tiny head moving through his pelvis was pushing his birth canal outward into a gentle mound.

Through the pain, his chest thrilled with tight flutters that left him breathless. He was practically touching his baby's head right now.

He was so, so close.

  
-

  
"I can feel the head," Yuuri panted, the hand that he used to balance himself quivering on Viktor's shoulder.

"Perfect. You're doing wonderfully," Kanade murmured, re-wetting the washcloth in the bowl of warm water and replacing it over Yuuri's birth canal. "Viktor-san, you may be catching a baby soon. I'd advise you to steel yourself."

Viktor's heart jammed itself into his esophagus.

Yuuri's hands moved to Viktor's shoulders, and he raised himself upright instead of hunching forward, standing on his knees. He seemed to freeze for a moment and hold his breath, as if coming to an inward conclusion, then spoke in a surprisingly firm voice.

"Ask Phichit if he has his good camera with him."

Viktor picked up his phone and tapped the question into the group chat, and received an immediate answer. Phichit was obviously eagerly watching his phone for updates.

"He does, he says it's in his backpack."

Yuuri breathed for a moment and closed his eyes, a contraction obviously gripping him, and his voice was strained and rough with exertion through the powerful push.

"Ask if…he'll come…in here…"

  
-

  
Phichit appeared in the doorway, camera hanging around his neck and a serious expression creasing his brow.

"Are you sure, Yuuri?"

Yuuri blew a breath out through his lips, briefly taking his glasses off to mop his sweaty face with the wet washcloth that had been on his forehead off and on. "If you don't mind seeing me naked and swearing and shoving a baby out of me, yes, I'd like you to take some pictures before and right after the baby's out. I wanna remember this." He was vaguely proud of himself for getting such an intelligent string of sentences out.

Phichit laughed and shrugged. "I mean, I'm fine with it. It's not like I've never seen you naked before, and I'm not squeamish. I watched mom have my younger siblings. Just didn't want to ruin the moment or whatever."

"You won't be," Yuuri grunted, bearing down again, trembling with the force of it.

Phichit retreated to the couch, still concerned but somewhat appeased, and began adjusting his settings and lens, slipping into photographer mode. It had always been one of his favorite hobbies in college. Distantly, Yuuri was glad he had brought the camera; that way, Viktor wouldn't have to worry about taking pictures, and Yuuri knew he wanted to.

Pushing had to be one of the strongest, most all-consuming urges he had ever felt in his life. He couldn't have resisted doing it if he tried. His body had almost completely taken over, instincts running high, and he only had to aid it along, bearing down on the tiny body sliding excruciatingly slowly through his birth canal.

He was so glad he hadn't gotten an epidural, as insane as that sounded. Moving around and changing positions frequently had really helped him cope with the anxiety, so being trapped flat on his back for hours would have been sheer hell.

As he pushed, he could feel _everything_ , and even though it was damn painful, it was such a relief. The contractions squeezed around the baby, creating a burning, beyond-the-limit stretch inside as the baby moved through him. He swore he even felt them wiggling periodically, as if impatient to be born so they could meet their parents.

He was breathless with anticipation.

"I can't wait to see whether it's a boy or a girl," Viktor murmured, rubbing Yuuri's back as he bore down with clenched teeth.

"Schrödinger's baby," Phichit murmured, looking through his camera lens and testing the zoom. "Both and neither, until they're born."

Viktor looked endlessly confused. "What?"

"Well, see, there's this paradox in quantum mechanics—"

Yuuri made an incredulous choking sound, voice tearing from his throat like sandpaper. "Phichit Chulanont, I swear to fucking God, I will end you with my bare hands if you explain that whole fucking thing while I'm pushing a baby out."

Phichit pressed his lips together on a smile. "Noted, shutting up."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that," Yuuri immediately gasped out as the push ended, wiping his brow miserably. "That was mean." Tears welled in his eyes and fell down his face, and he scrubbed them away. How could he have been mean to Phichit, of all people? He was ready for this shit to end. He didn't feel like himself at all.

Phichit sighed in fond exasperation. "No, the _other_ Yuri is mean. _You're_ in terrible pain." A smile relaxed his tanned face. "It's okay, buddy, seriously. Don't worry so much."

"Okay..."

With two more heavy, squatting pushes, something clicked. Yuuri's senses sharpened to a knife's edge, and he felt everything in high definition.

Including the mind-bendingly awful fire burning between his legs.

He shrieked, scrambling to stay upright, his abdominal muscles bunching up in the throes of his agony. "Viktor!" He wailed, unable to stop his body from bearing down as it wanted. Searing, hot-cold pain bloomed through his crotch, and through that, he felt wetness.

Viktor leaned and looked down, and his eyes grew comically large. "Kanade," his voice rose.

Kanade did some scrambling of her own, rushing to get a soft, blue plastic tarp of some sort underneath Yuuri, and he barely even noticed Viktor practically picking him up so she could slide it to completely cover the bed.

"Wash your hands and arms up to the elbows," Kanade urged, giving Viktor a gentle shove toward the sink. "This baby's about to be born."

Yuuri clutched the sheets beneath him, wincing. He could feel and hear liquid leaving him, trickling down his thighs and dripping onto the plush, flexible plastic beneath him, louder than anything else in his ears. Somehow, he had the energy to blush down to his chest. There was probably so much fluid still in him, dammed up by the baby.

When Viktor came back, he was holding a hand mirror.

"Yuuri," he whispered breathlessly, burying his fingers in the back of Yuuri's hair and pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Yuuri, we can see them, we can see their head—" His voice caught, broke, and suddenly, he was visibly holding back tears. "They have your hair…oh, _moyo solnyshko_ , it's pitch black and beautiful. Look."

Through the haze of tightness and burning, Yuuri regained enough sense to look down into the mirror Viktor was holding at an angle underneath him, and suddenly, he had tunnel vision.

The world fell away, and all he could see was the darkness peeking out of the slit on his perineum.

He could see the top of his baby's head. Black hair, slicked down and glistening wetly in the light, streaked with blood and something white and opaque.

"Ohh," he wobbled out.

Intelligent, Yuuri.

He was consumed by another contraction, but he fought to keep his eyes open through the pushing. The pink, swollen edges of the slit were parting bit by tiny bit around his baby's head.

Was this really happening? Was he dreaming…?

The sizzling pain that returned with a vengeance told him no, he most definitely wasn't.

He was _having a baby._ Holy shit, holy _shit_ …

A ragged scream tore from his raw, abused throat, and the imagery that his doctor had described to him suddenly flashed through his mind.

The ring of fire.

Sure enough, Kanade quietly informed him that he was beginning to crown.

A choked sob left his lips, terror rising to a peak in his chest and snaking around his throat.

_God, help me…_

  
-

  
Viktor's nostrils were abruptly assaulted by the abrasive smell of pure, unadulterated fear.

His gaze snapped up from his fascinated staring to see that Yuuri's eyes were wet and huge and wild, like a cornered animal.

 _"Itai! Itai!"_ He screamed, fingers digging into Viktor's shoulders, and Viktor just barely kept himself from wincing. Damn, but Yuuri was strong. A little powerhouse. He dissolved into shaky, gasping sobs, eyes slamming shut. _"O-ore wa moete iru,"_ he cried, voice quivering.

"I know it burns, Yuuri-san, I'm sorry," Kanade said softly, reaching up underneath him to feel, then leaning over to look. "Keep doing what you're doing, you're nearly done now."

Viktor reached to take Yuuri's hand, not caring that it may come out of this on the other side bruised. Yuuri needed his support right now.

"Look at me, Yuuri," he murmured, and Yuuri's eyes cracked open, sending tears slipping down his flushed face. "You're doing so well. I'm incredibly, infinitely proud of you, darling. Little bean is almost here, all thanks to you. We're finally going to get to hold them and kiss them and see how wonderful and perfect they are." Viktor reached down to gently cup his palm over the top of the baby's head, feeling how inflamed and puffy Yuuri's skin was from being stretched so far. "They're coming out to meet us."

"It hurts," Yuuri breathed tearfully, hand shaking in Viktor's and the other clenching and relaxing at his shoulder. "Please, please, get them out…"

Viktor's heart ached. "Oh, sweetie, _you're_ getting them out. They're so close, now, you can do it." He rubbed the wet hair on the tiny head with his thumb. God, it was thick. And _black_. His heart skipped giddily.

As Yuuri bore down, Viktor leaned forward and pressed perhaps the final kiss of the pregnancy to his protruding stomach, marveling once more at how rigid it was from the contraction. Yuuri's body was an astonishing, beautiful thing. It had literally grown a baby over a period of nine months, and they were about to meet the tiny, perfect fruit of his long, arduous labor.

Viktor felt an abrupt shift of tissue and an increase of pressure on his palm, so he quickly leaned over; the slit between Yuuri's legs was steadily widening to accommodate the baby's head as the powerful muscles of his uterus forced it downward and outward. Viktor could see the head moving and sliding within the birth canal, stretching Yuuri's skin, revealing more and more beautiful black hair with each passing second. Compared to how slow the progress had been so far, this was monumental.

"Oh, Yuuri, good push!" Viktor cried softly, vision blurred by hot tears, but Yuuri was in too much pain to be too excited, his eyes hazy and unfocused. He caught his breath briefly and bore down again, then suddenly, his back hunched and he voiced a hoarse, sharp scream. Kanade quickly spoke up, her voice quiet and calming.

"Breathe, breathe…here comes the worst of it. Just move the baby with your breath, gentle push."

Yuuri dropped his chin to his chest and blew air out of his pursed lips, his thighs trembling, and Viktor watched, utterly mesmerized, as Yuuri's birth canal slowly reached its widest possible point, stretching paper thin around the baby's head.

His heart hammered. He was astonished that it was even possible for such a tiny opening to be forced so wide. It had to be excruciatingly painful for Yuuri, but he was silent and red-faced, eyes tightly shut in unwavering concentration.

There was a breathless pause, then the edges of the slit gave way, abruptly sliding around the baby's head until it was all the way out; Yuuri groaned out a strained gust of breath and swayed forward, trembling, and Viktor felt warm liquid spurt around the tiny head and trickle down his wrists in bloody rivulets, but he paid it no mind. He cradled little bean's head in his palms, his breath catching and hissing with his tears.

He was holding his child's head in his hands. Oh, dear God…

"Head is out," he said shakily, wiping his tear-streaked face on his shoulder. "Yuuri, you're nearly there now."

"Look at your baby, Yuuri-san," Kanade whispered, angling the mirror so Yuuri could see.

  
-

  
With a single glance, Yuuri burst into tears.

"Oh, my God," he sobbed, reaching down to stroke the tiny temple, the petite, delicate ear. He could see less than half of the baby's face, but it was still enough to temporarily banish every single shred of pain from his mind.

He could see his baby's face.

He heard the camera shutter give a series of crunchy snaps, punctuated by shaky breaths and emotional sniffles. Good, Phichit was taking pictures. This was the most amazing thing he had ever seen in his entire life, and he wanted to remember it forever.

There was a _baby_ coming out of him, and it was an incredible thing to behold.

Kanade moved the mirror and made a quick once-around the baby's neck with her finger. "No cord around the neck, you're good to go. One or two more pushes ought to do it. You're on the home stretch." She unstrapped and removed the two monitors from around Yuuri's stomach.

"Take this, too, I'm tired of being tethered," Yuuri requested, slipping the cannula off and handing it to her as well. He wasn't having any breathing trouble anymore, anyway.

He waited excitedly for the next contraction (something he never thought he'd do), and when it arrived, he pushed with it and puffed rapid breaths through his lips, feeling the baby's body turn inside his birth canal, stretching the muscles and tissue inside. That did feel pretty awful, causing him to voice a sharp, bleating yelp, but the pain was offset by the adrenaline-charged feeling of _holy fucking shit I'm giving birth to my child right now at this moment._

Time slowed down. Memories from months ago of being isolated in his bedroom, terrified he was about to be told to abort his baby, terrified of his uncertain future, terrified of _everything_ , came rushing back to him.

In that moment of reflection, frozen in time, a tiny smile lifted one corner of his mouth.

_How far I've come._

Mustering his remaining strength, he bore down with all his might.

The burning returned, pain snapping to a peak, followed by a gigantic release of pressure, and then their baby, their precious, long-anticipated baby, dropped out of him into Viktor's waiting hands.

A triumphant cry ripped from his throat, overlapped by a tiny, strangled cough that morphed into wet, coarse wailing.

  
-

  
With that final, powerful push, everything happened at once.

The baby's shoulders popped free and Yuuri cried out hoarsely; before Viktor could blink, the rest of the baby's body burst from Yuuri's birth canal with a massive gush of amniotic fluid, and suddenly, he had a warm, slippery, flailing, _shrieking_ newborn in his hands.

He could barely see through the tears coursing down his face, and when he caught sight of what they had been waiting for _months_ to find out, he sobbed even harder, so consumed by joy, pride, and adoration that he was barely able to raise his voice loud enough to be heard over their newborn's scratchy cries.

"It's a _boy!"_

  
-

  
Yuuri's heart overflowed with so many different emotions that he couldn't even keep track of them all, but at the forefront of the torrent was a love so powerful and crushing that he feared it would break him apart.

A baby boy.

He and Viktor had a _son_.

"Time of birth is eight seventeen p.m.," Kanade announced with glee, "Congratulations!" She reached for a rubber bulb and suctioned the remaining amniotic fluid from the baby's airways, ratcheting his shrill, protesting shrieks up another notch.

Sobbing uncontrollably, Yuuri reached down as Viktor lifted the baby up, taking this tiny, slimy, fragile being that had just come out of him into his hands, feeling how solid and warm and _real_ he was. He was screaming his miniscule lungs out and flailing his fists, his face scrunched and red, probably confused and terrified by how cold and bright the world outside mama's dark, warm tummy was.

"My little bean," Yuuri wept, lifting the baby to his chest and cradling his small, wet head in his palm, supporting his bottom with the other hand. He felt the tug of the cord that still connected the baby to him on the underside of his stomach. His squishy, _empty_ stomach. "Oh, my God, Vitya, a baby boy," he cried through shuddering sobs.

"Chiharu Fyodor," Viktor managed through his own tears, resting a hand on the baby's sticky back.

[](http://i.imgur.com/eqUwehJ) 

Kanade handed him a clean towel, and he began gently toweling the various fluids off of their son. "Oh, Yuuri, he's perfect!"

"He's the most perfect newborn I've ever seen," Phichit echoed, his voice thick with tears.

He really was. Dark, thick hair, plastered to his tiny skull until Viktor dried it off, and Yuuri was amazed at how long it was. Ten teeny fingers and toes that they had seen countless times on the ultrasound readout, that Yuuri had felt from the inside, rubbing his uterine walls and kicking his organs. The sweet face they had been longing to finally see in 3D; even though it was wrinkled and reddish-purple with newborn rage, it was hands down the most beautiful face Yuuri had ever seen in his life.

He would give his life for this baby. Without hesitation.

Hearing his mother crying quietly beside him, he leaned closer to her, and she slipped an arm around his waist, pressing her cheek to his shoulder. "I'm so proud of you, son," she whispered, and Yuuri dropped a kiss on top of her head. "My goodness, you made that look easy."

He blinked, confused. "What do you mean…?"

She gave a pained smile. "Mari took nearly thirty-six hours."

Yuuri's spine shuddered in vicarious fear. He thanked his lucky stars that his labor hadn't been that long. As near as he could figure, it had been about twenty-one hours, give or take, since the contractions had gotten really bad after the banquet the night before. It seemed like weeks ago since his water had broken in the tub.

He caught his breath and shifted on his knees, feeling his legs quiver. "I…I need to…" he looked behind him, underneath him. He didn't want to sit in the flui—oh. Kanade was already whisking the soaked tarp out of the way for him, replacing it with another absorbent pad that she laid over where his backside would be on the bed.

"You can lie back if you wish." She raised the head of the bed up a bit more, adjusting the pillows, and he gladly took the invitation.

He settled back against the pillows with Chiharu on his bare chest, his eyes roving over his wrinkly little face. He committed every single part of it to memory, never wanting to forget this moment. It felt like a beautiful dream, and he had waited so long for it.

"Well, I think we can rule out any respiratory issues," Kanade raised her voice amusedly over Chiharu's crying, and Viktor and Yuuri burst into joyful laughter. She fitted her stethoscope in her ears and gently turned Chiharu to the side, pressing the metal diaphragm to his pink chest, to his great displeasure. "Ah…heart sounds perfect."

Phichit sniffled and wiped his eyes, squeezing Yuuri's shoulder. "I'll go tell the others. You did so well, I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you, and thanks for taking pictures for us," Yuuri replied softly, giving him a tired smile. "Might want to brace for impact, Yuri will be pissed. He wanted a girl."

"Oh, pff, I'm sure the little king will live," Phichit said loftily as he left. Yuuri's mother gave him one last hug and followed after Phichit, likely eager to give her husband and daughter a detailed description of the grandson and nephew they never thought they would get.

Chiharu's wailing tapered off into whimpers, his back rising and falling under Yuuri's hand (He was so little! Good grief, he had felt so much bigger coming out). His petite fingers curled and uncurled on the soft flesh of Yuuri's chest, high-pitched snuffles and grunts escaping sweet rosebud lips that were very much heart-shaped like Viktor's. Ohh, Yuuri's heart melted into warm, sugary goo. He had so hoped the baby would have Viktor's mouth.

There was a faint, muffled "mother _fucker!"_ from down the hall, and Yuuri snickered. Well, Yuri knew now. He had probably lost a good chunk of change, too. Yuuri knew they had a betting pool they thought they had kept secret.

He had thought he had wanted a girl, too, but now, he wouldn't trade Chiharu for anything in the world.

He felt Kanade press a cloth between his legs, and it came away with a few spots of bright blood on it. "Barely a scratch," she announced. "Well done, Yuuri-san."

He gave a breathless laugh. "Thank you."

A reverent silence fell over him as he studied his son's tiny features. Newborns had always all looked alike to him, but not this one. He could pick out which features Chiharu had inherited from both of them with ease. He had Yuuri's dark hair, and his nose. Viktor's chin. He had that little crinkle high on his right ear, matching Yuuri perfectly. Viktor's lovely lips, of course, down to the perfect cupid's bow. His eye shape wasn't as easy to tell yet, but it looked like he may end up having Viktor's eyes, too.

He was the prettiest newborn Yuuri had ever seen. Absolutely flawless.

The baby shifted, his tiny, squishy cheek rubbing Yuuri's chest, then his eyes cracked open, revealing milky grey-blue irises. Baby's eyes met mother's, squinting and blinking sleepily, little wrinkles of concentration appearing on his forehead, and Yuuri fell so head over heels in love that it made his head spin.

"Hi, my love," he crooned breathlessly, reaching to stroke the petal-soft cheek. "I'm your mama. Your daddy and I have waited so, so long to meet you, beanie…oh, look at how adorable and sweet you are…"

Viktor, who had also been gazing in amazed silence, reached to slip his long, slender index finger into Chiharu's hand, and it was immediately grasped with startling strength. "We love you, little bean," he whispered, sounding choked up. "Mama and daddy love you so much." He sat on the bed next to Yuuri, and Yuuri leaned into him, sniffling. "You were amazing, sweetheart. I can't believe you just had a _baby."_ He pressed a long, firm kiss to Yuuri's forehead, then pecked another one onto his lips. "I'm so proud of my _solnyshko_. You were a real trooper."

Yuuri breathed out wearily, grinning. "Oh, thank you…that was the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm so glad it's over."

He thought back to the transition phase of labor, how he had thought that surely nothing on earth could be worth that much pain.

It was so much more than worth it.

He would do it all again in a heartbeat if he had to.

"He's so cute." Viktor gave a tearful laugh, touching Chiharu's cheek. "I don't normally think newborns are very cute, but he's _adorable_."

"We did pretty good, didn't we," Yuuri giggled wetly, wiping the tear that slid down his cheek.

"You did, indeed. He's beautiful." Kanade skillfully clamped the umbilical cord in two places, offering the scissors to Viktor. "Would you like to do the honors, dad?"

Viktor's smile was so elated that Yuuri swore the entire room got a little brighter. "Yes, please!"

As Yuuri fondly watched, Viktor took the scissors and gently snipped through the cord where Kanade instructed him to. She collected some blood from the cord into a vial, to check Chiharu's blood type and test for a few other genetic conditions that he probably didn't have. He had come out pink and screaming, so she said there was probably nothing wrong with him.

For several minutes, as Kanade ran a few reflex tests and such on Chiharu, Viktor and Yuuri were silent, gazing with rapt attention at the baby they had made together. He seemed sleepy at first, blinking his eyes slowly, but he soon seemed to perk up as Kanade moved him gently, testing his pulse and breathing and muscle tone, writing a few things down on her clipboard as she did.

"Apgar test score is a solid 9 out of 10," she informed them with a smile, handing Yuuri a tiny, pink and blue striped cap to stick over the wild black hair on the baby's head. "You've got a perfectly healthy little man."

After stretching the cap over Chiharu's hair (it was almost too big, really, he was teeny), Yuuri pinched himself on the thigh. He couldn't believe after all of his worrying that the baby was here, and he was healthy.

 _Thank God_ …

She brought over a cloth sling. "Let's weigh him and measure him while he's fairly happy." With Yuuri's help, she placed Chiharu in the sling and held up the weight, holding it still to get a readout. He couldn't help but giggle; it was so funny how Chiharu just hung there, blinking and looking slightly confused, as if he couldn't decide whether to be upset or not. "Any guesses?" Kanade inquired.

"Seven point three," Viktor piped up at the same time that Yuuri said "There's no way he's under eight pounds."

The small machine beeped. "Seven pounds, eight ounces," Kanade laughed. "A very healthy weight." Chiharu wriggled in protest, huffing and whimpering, so she gently settled him back on Yuuri's chest, taking out her tape measure. "And…just under twenty inches long. He'll be a tall one some day." She measured a few more tiny body parts, jotting the info down.

"Like his dad." Yuuri grinned up at Viktor, and Viktor straightened, chest puffing with pride. Chiharu snuffled on Yuuri's chest and opened his tiny mouth in a yawn, pink tongue no bigger than the end of Yuuri's thumb. His heart fluttered. _Perfection_.

"Would you like to give nursing a go?" Kanade inquired, setting her clipboard aside. "He's opening his mouth and turning his head. That usually means they're getting hungry."

"Oh…yes." Yuuri's hands hovered over his newborn son, and suddenly, he was unsure of how to even pick him up. His heart sped up, thumping unpleasantly in his throat. "Um…I don't…"

"It's okay," Kanade soothed. "You won't hurt him. Babies are sturdier than they look, I promise."

Hesitantly, Yuuri slipped one hand underneath the baby's chest to lift him, shifting him downward until he was level with his right nipple, in the cross-cradle hold he had seen on the video. It had looked the most comfortable.

Cupping his hand around his nipple, he loosely held the back of the baby's head in his hand and tried to remember the steps.

Just as he had predicted, it wasn't as easy as it had looked.

The first time, Chiharu didn't act like he noticed the nipple rubbing his lips, even though his little mouth was working, tongue making a soft clicking against his gums.

_Alright, don't get discouraged…just keep trying…_

Several more failed attempts later, frustration was beginning to tighten Yuuri's throat. Chiharu didn't seem to want to latch, even when the nipple was directly in his mouth.

"It's okay. Sometimes it just takes them a few minutes," Kanade reassured.

He took a deep breath, determined to make this work.

_Okay…nipple on upper lip, pointed up…wait until he opens his mouth wide…and…_

…Chiharu latched, all right. Just not on his nipple.

Viktor stifled a snicker, and Yuuri smacked at him playfully. "Hush."

"It's _cute!_ I'm not laughing at you."

"Mmhm." He had to detach Chiharu from his skin—jeez, newborn suckling reflex was strong, he may end up having a hickey there—by sticking a pinky in the side of his little mouth to break the suction. Luckily, he seemed largely unbothered by it, just blinking up at Yuuri with those pretty blue eyes. He dearly hoped they would stay blue, or maybe get even bluer as time went on.

He pressed his finger next to his nipple again, pointing it to the side, and got ready to move Chiharu towards it. He waited patiently until the teeny mouth opened wide, then quickly brought it to his nipple, getting as much of it in as possible.

Chiharu's mouth closed like a vice around his nipple and a good portion of the areola, and just like that, he was latched. His little jaw moved up and down in a slow, easy motion, suckling deeply, his tiny fingers curling into the soft flesh of Yuuri's chest.

"Good latch," Kanade praised softly. "You've done your homework, I see."

Yuuri nodded. "Tried to watch as many videos as I c—ooh…"

Pins and needles prickled deep inside his chest, strangely hot and right on the edge of painful, along with a sensation that he could only compare to thick taffy being pulled through his chest and out of his nipple with each suckle of little bean's mouth. He shut his eyes tightly, grimacing when his stomach abruptly contracted.

"Everything okay?" Viktor's voice asked anxiously, and Yuuri felt a touch on his arm.

"Mm…" he nodded, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly to calm himself. "Just feels really weird." This was normal, his doctor had told him; breastfeeding triggered mild contractions that would get rid of the placenta and return his uterus to normal size. Nothing to get anxious over.

"It will be uncomfortable for a while until you get used to it." Kanade gave a nostalgic smile as she gently felt around on Yuuri's belly. "It will feel better once your milk lets down in a few days. You'll need to nurse every couple of hours to keep from becoming too engorged, and switch sides every now and then. Pump the other breast if your baby prefers one over the other. Baby will let you know when it's time to nurse, just watch for those signs."

Yuuri nodded, eyes locked on his baby, still enchanted by the fact that he was feeding his child with his own body. _Wow_.

Despite the discomfort of the contractions it caused, watching his baby nurse was the most precious experience of his entire life. Viktor sat on the bed beside him, arm around his shoulders with their temples pressed together, watching their baby boy as he fed. Little bean blinked up at Yuuri, blue eyes roving alertly over his mother's face, and Yuuri cooed softly, pressing kiss after tender kiss to his tiny forehead. Words spilled from his lips, tears welling in his eyes as he traced the features of his baby with the tip of his finger, as delicately as if he were caressing a flower petal.

"Do you recognize my voice, little bean? You grew inside my tummy for so long, yes you did…I loved every single kick and squirm you gave me. Ohh, my sweet boy, mama loves you…you're the most perfect, beautiful little bean I could have ever asked for…"

He continued the soft, one-sided conversation for as long as Chiharu nursed, sniffling back tears. He could feel Viktor's thumb rubbing his shoulder, his other hand stroking Chiharu's back.

Viktor was quiet, but a couple of times, Yuuri heard him sniffle, too.

It made him smile. His sweet Vitya was so tenderhearted.

His smile flickered and he breathed out slowly, swallowing down the sudden nausea that rose in his stomach as the latest contraction ended. He wondered if it was caused by breastfeeding; some people claimed it made them feel queasy at first because of the rush of unfamiliar chemicals and hormones it prompted.

It would probably go away once Chiharu was done nursing.

Having apparently had his fill, Chiharu's suckling gradually slowed to a stop. He released Yuuri's nipple from his mouth with a soft pop and a sigh, blinking sleepily.

"Was that good?" Yuuri cooed, gently swiping a dribble of colostrum from the sweet pink pout with the tip of his finger. Chiharu yawned, scrunching his face with the effort. "Nap time now, I see. That was a lot of work for such a little guy." He shifted Chiharu up to his shoulder, rubbing and patting his back.

"Sweet dreams, beanie," Viktor whispered, stroking one squishy cheek with the knuckle of his index finger. A soft little burp puffed from Chiharu's lips, prompting a shared grin from his parents.

Kanade had been observing, smiling quietly, but now she spoke. "I'll need to page someone to come get him for a few minutes, to run a few more tests and get him a little ankle bracelet with his name. Chiharu Nikiforov, you said?" She picked up her clipboard.

"Yes, spelled with the kanji for spring," Yuuri said distractedly, glancing down at his shrunken stomach. It was a good bit smaller, now that it wasn't full of a baby and too much fluid. He looked about as big as he had at six months. Ooh…it was tensing up weakly; another contraction was coming. In the back of his mind, he heard Viktor talking to Kanade about Chiharu's middle name, telling her to spell it in English so she could convert it to katakana, since it was a foreign name.

A frigid, searing cramp lanced through his left side and took his breath away, breaking him out in a cold sweat and sending the room spinning. Okay, that was way worse. He quickly forced himself to speak up.

"I-I think I feel the afterbirth coming."

Sleepy Chiharu was lifted from his chest and wrapped in a receiving blanket, then Kanade set him down in the padded infant examination table.

 _He'll be safe there_ , Yuuri thought distantly. He felt something tighten around his bicep.

His heart fluttered and skipped unevenly in his chest, a similar feeling to the beginnings of a panic attack, but he didn't feel panicked, exactly, just…shaky, and...short of breath, all of a sudden.

"Yuuri-san, what does it feel like?"

He realized then that it was the second time she had asked.

He raised a shaking hand to his chest, blinking in confusion at how heavy his arm felt. "Uhh…it…kinda hurts. Still contracting…" The words felt thick in his mouth, and distantly, he knew he hadn't answered the question properly. Man, his heart was beating fast. Like bird wings.

"Feeling dizzy, faint? Nauseated?"

The words didn't make much sense to him at first, but once he thought them over, he nodded weakly. His stomach was sour with nausea, his head swimming as if the bed was bobbing up and down on a stormy sea.

"He's so pale," Viktor wavered, sounding a bit like he was talking from under water. "Yuuri, are you…"

Wiggly spots of darkness crept into the corners of his vision.

He heard a loud, blaring beep and crackling of static. The words were in Japanese, and he only vaguely understood them.

Paging Dr. Taniguchi…something something team, Code…H? Some gibberish afterward that he didn't catch.

He had no idea what that stuff meant.

He vaguely heard the word "push" drift through the haze that blanketed him, so he obeyed without thinking. Something warm and squishy and very wet slipped out. He could hear liquid spurt out of him, feel it spatter on his inner thighs; there must have been amniotic fluid still left in there…

Viktor's blurry face was hovering over him, deathly white, looking very much like he was about to either faint or throw up. Yuuri couldn't hear what was being said, but he was pretty sure his fingertips were going numb in Viktor's hand, and his heart was pounding hot and rapid in his ears. Oh…Viktor was so gorgeous. Prettiest man in the world. Yuuri had lucked out bigtime.

He wanted to tell him how much he loved him, but he couldn't find the strength.

A dull, strangely forceful throbbing in his belly was the last thing he felt clearly, then the world dissolved into a murky dream. Lights blurring by, shouts of muffled nonsense. Feet pounding the floor.

No…not a dream, surely not.

He wasn't dreaming…was he?

He...he'd had the…baby…right…?

…he…

…he was…

…

  
-

  
Yuuri's voice interrupted Kanade mid-sentence, and she trailed off, looking up from where she was writing out Chiharu's middle name in katakana.

"I-I think I feel the afterbirth coming," Yuuri stammered.

Viktor snapped to attention, an abrupt chill crawling down his spine. Yuuri sounded…strange. Halting. Like it was hard for him to get the words out. His brow was creased in slight confusion, and he was panting shallowly, the color seeping from his face and turning his normally pink lips sickly pale.

Kanade had already gently set Chiharu down in the clear plastic newborn exam table, pressed the red button on the wall, and was feeling of Yuuri's pulse. "What does it feel like?" She asked urgently, strapping a blood pressure cuff around Yuuri's bicep and hastening to pump it up. He didn't seem to hear her, and it set off several hundred alarm bells in Viktor's head. "Yuuri-san, what does it feel like?"

"Uhh…it…kinda hurts. Still contracting…" Yuuri's eyes were drooping, losing focus. Viktor took hold of one white wrist and felt for a pulse.

His stomach fell through the floor.

Either his own pulse was pounding too hard, or Yuuri's was too weak to feel.

"Something's not right," Viktor whispered in dread.

"Feeling dizzy, faint? Nauseated?" Kanade pressed urgently.

Yuuri just _barely_ nodded.

Viktor wrung his hands. "He's so pale...Yuuri, are you—"

When they both saw the readout beep on the blood pressure cuff, the hair on the back of his neck stood on end, and the energy in the room drastically changed.

59/38, with a heart rate of 166.

Kanade leapt into action, smashing the button on her pager and throwing the hospital gown over Yuuri for modesty. She spoke in such rapid Japanese that Viktor barely understood her at first, but once he deciphered the message along with the string of English letters mixed in, his heart screeched to a stop.

"Paging Dr. Taniguchi, Rapid Response Team, Code H, L&D. Exhibiting signs of internal PPH, symptoms of shock." Kanade swiftly unplugged the various electrical equipment that connected the bed to the wall. "Don't push, Yuuri-san."

Yuuri apparently only heard "push," because that's exactly what he did, stomach muscles bunching and brow furrowing.

Kanade's face blanched. "Yuuri-san, no—"

But she wasn't fast enough.

A dark, bloody mass of tissue slipped from Yuuri's birth canal, nearly drowned by the waterfall of crimson that immediately gushed out after it, stark against the white of the absorbent pad it soaked into.

Viktor's blood froze solid in his veins.

As he jumped up from the bed and desperately clutched Yuuri's limp, clammy hand, there was a tornado of activity around him, but it was as if everything was moving in slow motion. A high-pitched ring in his ears drowned out most of the frantic noises of doctors and nurses rushing about, grabbing an oxygen mask and IV equipment.

All he could focus on was the pungent scent of iron stinging his nostrils and the light rapidly fading from Yuuri's eyes, dulling the rich, beautiful brown that he adored.

"No, no, _Yuuri,"_ he begged frantically, cupping one sickly pale cheek, but then he felt a strong tug on his arm. He wrestled against the cruel hold, but they were stronger than him, and before he knew it, he was in the hallway. The female nurse from that morning had pulled him out of the room with the help of a much larger male nurse.

He fought to reach back toward the door in vain, grabbing thin air.

"No, please, I can't leave him!" He gasped out through a tight throat, chest caving with sobs. He had no idea when he had started crying. It felt like his heart was going to tear apart and implode on itself, like a black hole that would consume his entire body.

He hadn't seen that much blood since…since…

Ohh, he could be sick.

 _"Nikiforovu-san, daijoubu dayo,"_ the male nurse whispered, holding his wrists firmly. _"Ochitsuite kudasai."_

"But the baby, where are y—is he safe? Will he be okay?" Viktor's voice was too loud even in his own ears. He realized too late that he was speaking English, and once he hastily repeated his question in the correct language, the considerate young girl answered in slow, simple Japanese so he could translate the words in his head.

"They will take your baby to the nursery and keep him safe. He is healthy. Everything will be alright, they will take care of Katsuki-san."

He couldn't even formulate an intelligent response, much less in Japanese. His brain felt like it had been electrocuted.

The male nurse re-entered the room, and like he was a lost child, with one slim hand at the small of his back, the girl guided him down the hall.

Away from Yuuri.

Protective instincts screamed at him, pounding primal and wild through his veins, fighting to tear him in the other direction. _What the hell are you doing?! Your mate needs you! Go help him! Right now!_

He heard a commotion behind them, and his head whipped around of its own accord. They were wheeling Yuuri's bed down the hall in the opposite direction, through a set of double doors.

"Where are they taking him?!" Viktor cried, jerking back to follow, but the nurse stopped him. She frowned, blinking, obviously having to think for a moment about what he had said, since he had blurted out in English without thinking once again. _"Doko! Doko!"_ He pointed frantically to the retreating doctors, hoping she could understand. He couldn't remember the correct phrasing.

 _"…shujutsu-shitsu,"_ she finally said softly.

He knew that one.

Operating room.

She seemed to struggle for a moment, then patted his back with a miserable, sympathetic look and jogged off after the doctors, her dark ponytail swishing back and forth. She was probably needed on the other side of those doors.

In a fog of shock, Viktor stumbled to the waiting room, where everyone had been waiting on the edge of their seats, excited for news of a healthy baby.

Now, they were all standing. Their faces ranged from worried to terrified. He wondered how much they had heard.

Hiroko stepped forward first, probably because she saw Viktor sway in place and raise a trembling hand to his forehead. The floor felt like jelly, uneven and wobbly beneath him.

Her soft hand cupped his elbow, brown eyes wide behind her round glasses.

"Vicchan…what happened, why are you crying," she whispered, her voice filled with dread. "The baby…?"

Viktor slowly shook his head, lips quivering. "Yuuri," he wavered. The color drained from Hiroko's face. "He…when he delivered the placenta, he bled so much…th-there was…so much blood…"

So much blood…

So much blood…

 _So much blood_ …

The image of the white sheets soaked scarlet with Yuuri's lifeblood strobed in his mind's eye, and just like that, it was like the breath had been forcefully sucked from his lungs. 

He remembered the smell first. Metallic. Acrid. It had filled his nose, his lungs, his mouth, his entire body.

He saw her on the floor of their pristine bathroom, crumpled next to the wheelchair like a discarded porcelain doll, platinum hair splayed out around her like some mockery of a halo. Stained crimson at the roots by the puddle at the back of her head.

Her eyes had been open.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was aware that his body was shaking as if he were freezing. Ice water slammed through his veins. The back of his neck prickled.

He couldn't breathe.

Smooth hands cradled his sweaty face. Another one, large and rough, rested on his back. He became aware of his own strained, heaving breaths, clawing their way out of his lungs.

"Vitya," Yakov's voice, coming from somewhere far away. "Vitya!"

Every nerve in his body thrummed painfully back to life at once, like his body had been ten steps behind his mind and was just now catching up. Saliva pooled in his mouth, and for a moment, his throat worked, trying to gag; one hand automatically moved to cover his mouth. He couldn't hear anything over the rush in his ears, but slowly, Hiroko's soft voice reached him, though it was strained and wet with tears.

"Shhh, it will be okay, Vicchan, just breathe…I'm here, son…d-did they say where they were taking him…?"

The fog dissipated from his mind enough for him to swallow the nausea back. "Operating room, that's…that's all she said," he panted. He felt clammy and dazed, like he sometimes did after a nightmare.

Hiroko's face crumbled in horror.

Her arms slipped around his waist, and he raised shaking arms to hug her back as she buried her face in his chest. He heard her break down into anguished weeping, murmuring "my baby, my baby," in Japanese over and over.

He rested his chin on Hiroko's head, tears pooling at the corners of his own eyes and slipping down his cheeks. His heart felt like a soda can that had been crunched beneath a heavy boot, crumpled beyond recognition.

Behind Hiroko, Yuri's face was white with rage, lips pressed in a thin line and fists clenched at his sides, and Otabek stood beside him with a grim expression, hand resting on his shoulder. Phichit looked like he wanted to be sick, his grey eyes haunted. Chris had sank back down onto his chair, staring at the floor with a crease of disbelief on his brow. Minami was already crying, face buried in his hand and slim shoulders trembling. Mari and Toshiya were clinging to each other, faces ashen. Celestino's arms were crossed over his broad chest, and he looked very much like he was holding back tears. Yakov had moved away and had his arm around Lilia, and both of their stony exteriors had cracked, revealing worry and uncertainty beneath.

Footsteps pounded the concrete floor behind them, drawing near.

Viktor's heart crashed into his toes. He didn't even want to turn around.

Was this it? Was Yuuri…?

A male voice said something in swift Japanese that Viktor didn't catch. He turned around, eyes wide, to see the nurse that had dragged him out of the room, dressed in full operating room gear. Hiroko let out an exclamation that was muddled by tears, her voice filled with terror and rising in volume, and Minami made a sound of distress through the hand clapped over his mouth. Toshiya sat down hard, taking his glasses off and burying his face in his hands, and Mari gripped his shoulders, her lips quivering.

"What happened?" Viktor wavered, even though he knew it had to be bad. His throat was already closing off in panic. _Please, God, don't let him be dead, don't let him be dead, please, please—_

Mari's rough voice translated for him.

"Their blood bank is running very low. They don't have enough of the type they can give to Yuuri. He…he's hemorrhaging heavily, they have him in surgery to stop it and figure out why it happened, but…without a transfusion, his organs will start to…" she trailed off in a whisper, her eyes reddening, pooling with tears.

Viktor instantly opened his mouth to volunteer his own blood, but stopped short.

He was B positive. Yuuri was A positive. He couldn't donate to him.

He had never felt more utterly useless. It crushed him, the weight of his inadequacy heavy on his back.

The nurse asked another urgent question, and Minami's hand shot up. The nurse said something in disagreement, shaking his head, and they seemed to get into a brief argument, with Minami yelling and slapping his chest adamantly, tears streaming down his face. Mari translated as the words were spoken, and Viktor was so thankful; there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell that his brain could correctly translate a Japanese conversation right now.

"Minami is O negative," she said under her breath. "He's the only one here with one of the correct blood types. He would be able to donate to Yuuri, but he would have to donate more than is considered safe for someone of his body weight. He says he doesn't care, that he would donate his life if it meant Yuuri would be able to live on with you and the baby."

Viktor's heart cracked in two at the selfless words.

Minami's speech slowed enough that Viktor understood the next couple of questions and answers.

"Will this save Yuuri-san's life?"

"Yes, but—"

"Will it kill me?"

"Ah, no, but it wouldn't be" a word Viktor couldn't make out, but Mari quickly supplied when he glanced at her helplessly, "ideal."

"I don't care how _ideal_ it is! Yuuri-san is dying!" Minami shouted hysterically, face creased and wet with tears, and Viktor's insides lurched at the word 'dying'. Minami's speech sped up, so Mari translated behind him, and the words made Viktor choke out a sob. "Please, sir! I'll hate myself for the rest of my life, knowing I could have helped him live and didn't! Please, I'm begging you, let me help him!"

The nurse seemed extremely reluctant, but sighed heavily, relenting. He motioned for Minami to follow him, and they rushed off, sneakers squeaking on the floor.

An ominous silence fell over the room as everyone watched their retreating backs. Inside Viktor's head, Minami's words echoed over and over.

Dying.

Dying.

Yuuri was dying.

His stomach cramped violently and his throat filled with bile, and he felt bad for having to step away from Hiroko with a shaky "I'm going to be sick" and rush for the trash can, emptying his stomach of its meager contents.

Tears dripped from his chin into the trash can, and he felt Hiroko's hand on his back, heard her soft crying.

Yuuri was _dying_. There was nothing Viktor could do to help him.

All he could do was wait for news, good or bad.

Wait, and fervently pray for Yuuri's life to be spared.

_Please, please…have mercy on him._

_On us._

  
-

  
When he clawed his way back to consciousness, a profound, disorienting sense of loss washed over him.

There were no little kicks and squirms to be felt. He felt like a hollow shell.

He was… _empty_.

His heartbeat skyrocketed right alongside the beeping in his ears.

_Where's my baby?! Is he okay, is he alive?! Why isn't he with me?!_

…wait.

He had had the baby already. He remembered knowing he was safe.

Struggling to think clearly, drifting somewhere between awake and dreaming, he feebly grasped for his last few memories. He had been nursing Chiharu, watching him fall asleep. After that…

He couldn't remember, but something must have happened, because he felt like he had been scraped on a washboard until there was nothing left but viscera. Surely this wasn't just the aftermath of childbirth. He was exhausted beyond belief, aching all over, and a strange, bone-deep chill enveloped his body.

His eyes felt like they were taped shut, but he stubbornly forced them open, determined to figure out what the hell was going on.

He was alone, in a different room…a regular hospital room, instead of the birthing unit he had been in. Wires and tubes from various equipment connected him to the machines on his left, including an IV and a full oxygen mask covering his nose and lips. His entire left arm throbbed faintly, and when he managed to turn his head and look down at it, he saw a dark tube with a startlingly thick needle running out of his forearm, taped down next to the clear tube of the IV. The skin all around the injection site was smudged purple and blue.

His eyes followed the tube to the IV stand on his left, to a dark red bag that hung on a separate peg than the clear fluids of his IV.

His brow furrowed in confusion. Was he being given blood…?

Where was Viktor?

The door quietly opened and his gaze darted to it. He had to squint; his glasses were absent.

An older man with greying hair entered the room, and upon seeing that Yuuri was awake, he smiled and his eyes widened, hope shining in them. He approached the bed, sitting down on the edge of it and taking off his stethoscope. He was perhaps in his sixties, with kind, dark eyes and prominent crow's feet lining them. He had smiled a lot in his life.

"Welcome back, Katsuki-san," he murmured in deep, soft Japanese, slipping the diaphragm of the stethoscope underneath the sheets to press it over Yuuri's heart. He flinched at how cold it was on his bare skin. "I'm the head obstetrician here, Taniguchi Satoru. How are you feeling?"

He croaked out something unintelligible and coughed. His throat felt like it was packed with cotton. The doctor handed him the water glass on his night stand, and he took a few hasty sips. "Wh…where's my baby?" He finally managed. He didn't care what happened to him, as long as Chiharu was alright. Poor little bean, probably scared half to death without his mama to snuggle him and keep him warm. Tears welled in Yuuri's eyes and slipped down his temples before he could stifle them. "Is he…"

The doctor spoke very quietly, nodding. "He's just fine. He did have a bit of trouble regulating his body temperature once he was away from you, so your husband is giving him skin-to-skin right now in the nursery."

Relief crashed over him in a tidal wave, relaxing the taut muscles that had tensed in preparation for bad news. He didn't even correct the use of the word 'husband'.

"Thank God," he wavered, voice rasping with tears. He took a moment to breathe through the tang of oxygen in his nose and mouth, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. Finally, he whispered, "What happened?"

Even without his glasses on, he could see the grave expression color the man's face.

"A few things happened when your placenta detached. Your uterus wasn't contracting as it should, which is a latent side effect of polyhydramnios. Those muscles had been stretched so much by excess fluid and so worn out by delivery that they couldn't contract properly in order to close the wound left by the placenta. Coupled with your placenta failing to separate in one piece, it caused severe hemorrhaging."

Yuuri's insides lurched.

 _"What…?"_ He said hoarsely, one hand reflexively moving to clutch his belly.

Instead of his firm, solid baby bump, his hand met soft, bloated skin and sank in like he was made of gelatin, causing pain to flare through his stomach that made him suck in a startled breath and jerk his hand away.

"Careful," the doctor cautioned gently. "We had to remove several retained pieces of the placenta, you'll be tender for a while."

Yuuri had to catch his breath. _Tender_ , he says. It felt like his stomach was full of magma.

The doctor rested his elbows on his knees, continuing the soft explanation. "When your placenta separated, it came off in one large piece and left a few smaller clots behind in your uterine wall. They were too firmly embedded to remove by themselves, which is called adherent retained placenta, and that caused heavy bleeding that we almost didn't get under control. You lost about twelve hundred milliliters total." His face darkened. "I'm not going to sugarcoat it. We thought for a few minutes that we were going to lose you."

Yuuri's heart beat faster and faster. He had nearly _died?_

"Our blood bank was nearly out of the blood types that were compatible with yours. We gave you all the blood we could immediately after surgery, but without a donor, you would have certainly experienced organ failure because of the low circulation volume." The doctor gave a soft smile. "Luckily, one was readily available."

"A donor…?" His mind flashed to Viktor, but they had conflicting blood types and couldn't donate to each other, so who…?

"A young man, a…" he glanced at his clipboard. "…Kenjirou Minami." Yuuri gave a shallow gasp. "He donated nearly two full pints of blood, giving us the adequate amount to get your count back up. He's currently under observation in the recovery unit because of how much he had to donate, but he's a healthy young fellow. He'll be just fine after a few iron-supplemented meals and some rest."

After a few seconds of shocked staring, Yuuri raised his untethered arm and covered his mouth, closing his eyes tightly, overwhelmed with gratitude.

Minami had saved his life. Tears trickled down his cheeks in steady streams.

When he regained his composure, he sniffled shakily and wiped his eyes, then dropped his hand to his chest. "When you removed the pieces of placenta," he breathed. "Was it surgical? Will I not be able to skate for a long time?" Dread welled in his heart. If he had gone through the torture of natural childbirth just to need a surgery because of it, he was going to run naked through this damn hospital and scream bloody murder.

"No. It wasn't a surgery." The doctor pulled out a diagram, pointing to various parts of it as he spoke. "To stop the bleeding, we used something called a balloon tamponade, inserted through your birth canal and inflated. Once the bleeding was staved, we attempted to manually remove those pieces of the placenta." He sighed. "We did have to do a bit of snipping to get some of the pieces out, but it was all internal. No exterior cutting. Once it was all removed, we administered steady doses of pitocin, so your uterus would contract properly and clamp down on those blood vessels as it should have. "

Yuuri's mind raced.

"Does…does that…" His hand twitched and moved to his stomach again, but he stopped it. _Don't touch._ "…will I be able to have another baby in the future…?" The downcast eyes and reluctant purse of the doctor's lips sent cold chills of fear along his arms, panic clogging his throat. "Please, please don't tell me—"

"It's possible that this won't affect any future pregnancies you choose to have, but it's also possible that it may." The doctor's shoulders lowered, his face grim. "If we hadn't been able to control the bleeding, we would have had to give you an emergency hysterectomy."

Ohh, what a vile, hideous word. Everything in his being shied away from it.

"Thankfully, we managed to save your uterus, but you may have a bit of scar tissue develop from that placenta, and that could complicate a pregnancy. However, there's also a chance that you won't have any at all. So, for right now, I'm afraid it's a grey area. One of those things that will become clearer with time." He drew in a deep breath. "In any case, I'd say you dodged a bullet today. Postpartum hemorrhage is the number one killer of new mothers."

Yuuri's breath shuddered from his lips, and he closed his eyes. Too much information all at once. He couldn't keep track of it.

All he knew was that he was awfully lonely.

"Can I please see m-my husband and my baby," he begged softly, "I miss them so much." So much he wanted to cry. The need to be touched and comforted by Viktor was almost too great to bear; he practically itched with it. His arms felt jittery, almost like restless leg syndrome in his arms instead of his legs, and the lack of weight and movement from Chiharu in his womb settled a cold loneliness over him.

The doctor's eyes softened.

"I'll page someone to get them, and I'll give you a few minutes alone."

  
-

  
The warm weight of his newborn son on his chest would have felt wonderful if Viktor hadn't been half-mad with worry.

As he rocked in the padded rocking chair in the corner of the nursery, anxiously waiting for news of Yuuri's condition, his heart kept yanking back and forth between melting over how precious and perfect little bean was and clenching up in his chest with a feeling akin to guilt, desperately wishing he was sharing these moments with Yuuri.

He adjusted the cotton blanket to keep it from slipping off of the baby's tiny, pink shoulders, then settled his hand on his back again, tilting his chin to press his lips to the soft little forehead. Sweet baby was sacked out, limp on Viktor's bare chest without a care in the world, rosebud lips hanging open and the velvety squish of his cheek pressed directly over Viktor's heart. It was probably a familiar sound to him, Viktor realized. He had likely been hearing Yuuri's heartbeat pretty clearly while curled up in his tummy for all those months.

His thumb rubbed gently back and forth on the baby's back, his hand so large in comparison that it covered it almost completely. With how huge and heavy Yuuri's belly had been, he hadn't expected little bean to be so…well, little. A lot of that big baby bump had probably been excess fluid.

He marveled silently with tears on his face, eyes roving over the brand new person that Yuuri had given birth to, noting with awe how miniscule his fingernails were, delicate as dewdrops on the ends of his fingers. From time to time, he would voice a soft grunt in his sleep and squirm to get comfy, teeny fingers flexing to grip the firm muscle of Viktor's chest, then he would settle down and snooze away peacefully again, eyes moving beneath his puffy little eyelids.

Viktor was positively dizzy with love.

His involuntary smile faded as reality hit him once more.

Raising a newborn by himself would be sheer hell. The most miserable thing he could think of. Not the raising itself, but being alone to do it. Living on without Yuuri, despaired and crushingly lonely, sounded downright impossible, and yet, if Yuuri didn't make it, he would _have_ to live on, for the baby's sake.

He tried so hard not to think about it.

The nursery was mostly empty, save for a few more babies that had been born in the past few days. A young Japanese man and woman were leaned over one of the bassinets, cooing and whispering softly, fawning over their baby.

Viktor's heart twisted, tight and hot with jealousy.

Yuuri should be in here with him, oohing and aahing over how sweet and pretty their baby was, not fighting for his life in an operating theater. He had already fought so hard to bring Chiharu into the world, enduring incredible pain that Viktor couldn't even begin to imagine.

Yuuri didn't deserve this. It was massively unfair.

He lifted his hand from Chiharu's back to run it through his own hair, breathing a quiet, shaking sigh and glancing at the clock on the wall. Where _were_ they? They needed to hurry up. Surely they had learned something by now, and they knew Viktor was in here. They wouldn't look in the waiting room for him.

On one hand, he was glad he could provide his body heat so little bean could keep warm, but on the other, he was ready to know _something_.

He was starting to wonder if something even worse had happened, and they were just stalling, unwilling to tell him. His empty stomach shuddered at the thought.

He nestled his lips in the cushy knit cap on Chiharu's head, closing his eyes and fighting back tears.

He couldn't live without Yuuri. He just _couldn't_.

_God, please, I'm begging you…don't take him away from us._

He didn't know how long he sat there, praying and rocking his sweet baby son, but finally, a touch on his shoulder made him open his eyes.

Kanade stood before him dressed in surgical scrubs, her brown eyes weary, but happy.

"He's tired and weak, but he pulled through," she whispered, and Viktor's tears immediately spilled over with a desperate sob.

He reached up with his free arm to hug her, not caring that she was basically a stranger. Right now, she was an angel from heaven delivering good news, and Viktor needed a hug.

She patted his back as he cried silently, unable to speak further for fear of breaking down in utter relief.

_Thank you…thank you…_

Once he was able, he breathed in a shuddering sniffle, releasing her to wipe his face with a trembling hand. "Can I see him?" He pleaded.

"Yes. He's awake and stable, receiving a transfusion in the recovery unit, and he's asking for you." Kanade looked down at the baby, her eyes softening. "For both of you. Let's wrap him, so he stays warm."

  
-

  
When Viktor stepped through the door with his blue eyes soft and rimmed red, cradling the sweet, sleeping bundle of their newborn son in his strong arms, Yuuri's eyes stung.

 _I almost didn't live to see this_.

Viktor approached the bed, mindful not to step on any cords or wires, and Yuuri reached aching, empty arms out to meet him.

The tension immediately drained from Yuuri's body when Viktor gently placed little bean on his chest. He felt like a missing piece of his heart had been returned to him, slotting itself back into his chest with a perfect fit.

He shifted the baby to one side of his chest and held out the other arm, eyes pleading.

Viktor immediately kicked off his shoes and slid into the bed beside Yuuri, slipping one arm behind his back, and Yuuri wrapped his free arm around the broad shoulders. Viktor's other arm, thankfully, didn't wrap around his tender stomach. Instead, his large, warm hand splayed over Yuuri's heart.

After a few seconds of silence, Viktor took a few shallow, uneven breaths, shuddered as if he had felt a sudden chill, and dissolved into shaky, relieved weeping, the kind of deep, heart-wrenching sobs that came with a massive emotional release.

"My Yuuri," he coughed out through his tears, voice heavy with sorrow. "Oh, my baby…"

The floodgates opened, and their tears mingled.

They clung to each other like they had been apart for months, instead of hours.

Yuuri had almost left Viktor bereaved to raise a baby by himself, and left Chiharu, tiny and defenseless, in the world without a mother to nurse him and love him. He wouldn't have gotten to hold Viktor and Chiharu like this _ever again._

He was eternally grateful to be alive.

All of the fear and uncertainty they had both been harboring in their hearts quietly seeped out, as if their fragile human frames were made of netting. The frantic beat of Yuuri's heart subsided and the tightness left his chest, tamed by Viktor's sweet scent that settled cool and soothing and beautiful in his lungs.

They were going to be okay.

Viktor's breath hitched against his chest, his body quivering like a leaf. "I thought I had…I thought you…" He couldn't even get the words out, cringing and swallowing as if they made him nauseous. Yuuri reached to brush the silky hair off of Viktor's forehead, tucking long strands of silver behind his ear, and Viktor sniffled deeply, rubbing his cheek on Yuuri's chest. "That was…utterly horrifying," he finally whispered. His eyes were wet and haunted, face lined with weariness and residual fear.

Yuuri's heart cramped. He wondered briefly what Viktor had seen, but he wasn't about to ask so soon.

"I'm sorry," he managed through his own tears, not bothering to wipe them. He couldn't, anyway. His arms were full of the loves of his life. "I'm so sorry, Vitya. I didn't mean to scare you like that."

Viktor uttered a soft noise of disagreement, shaking his head. "Wasn't your fault. Kanade told me a lot of the time it's undetectable until it happens. She says it's not uncommon." His speech was broken up by sniffles and gasps. Yuuri reached for the night stand, wincing when the needles pulled in his arm, and leafed a handful of tissues out. Viktor took one and pressed it into his eyes, then blew his nose and wiped it. "I don't know what I would have done if…if…"

"Don't say that, please," Yuuri begged, voice strained and thin. "I'm not leaving you. Either of you."

He could tell by the way Viktor's throat and mouth were working that there was more he wanted to say, but he apparently decided against it.

Yuuri couldn't help but wonder if it was the same worries about future pregnancies he had just expressed to the doctor that were filling Viktor's mind.

He was probably worrying too far ahead, but…he had wanted two children. That was the number he had always wished for as a little boy, all the way up to young adulthood. But now…

He just didn't know. Something else could go wrong, and he might not get so lucky twice.

The price had been almost too great this time.

Viktor’s hand rubbed his chest, and Yuuri wondered if feeling his heartbeat was the reason behind it. He realized with a sinking heart that Viktor had probably wondered if he would ever feel it again.

"How do you feel, sweetheart," Viktor whispered, wiping his face again briefly before returning his hand to Yuuri's heart, flattening his palm over the steady, unwavering rhythm.

"Tired," Yuuri rasped, closing his eyes. Incredibly, infinitely, everlastingly tired. "Kind of cold. Still hurting. Feels like I could sleep for a thousand years." He nuzzled the oxygen mask against Viktor's messy hair in a makeshift kiss. "But I'm still here. That's the important thing."

He shuddered to think how Viktor would have grieved. Losing both of his parents and then Yuuri might have been more than his glass heart could handle.

Viktor's face creased again. "Thank God," he murmured, picking up a tissue. The softness stroked Yuuri's cheek, wiping his tears for him, and he sniffled and gave a watery smile at the sweet gesture. A kiss was pressed to his cheek and the tissue was set aside, and Viktor snuggled back against him, gazing at their sleeping newborn with a weary yet enraptured expression.

Another deep-seated anxiety rose to the surface out of nowhere, and he tried to fight it off.

"Here…let me…" He unwrapped Chiharu from the blanket, seeing that he was wearing the tiniest diaper Yuuri had ever seen, and shifted him underneath the covers, gently, so as not to wake him. Skin to skin contact was important for newborns, he recalled.

And, truth be told, he was pretty sure he could use it, too.

Chiharu's pink, brand new skin was perfectly soft against Yuuri's chest, smoother than any rose petal. Beanie baby was out like a light, sighing softly in his sleep. He hadn't even budged from his slumber when he had been moved, he was sleeping so deeply and peacefully. Yuuri gently rubbed one squishy, pillowy cheek with his fingertip, then the smile that had stretched across his face faded.

Deciding to voice the fear instead of bottling it, he spoke quietly into the silent room.

"I'm sorry if…you wanted a girl."

After a moment, Viktor craned his neck to stare at Yuuri. "Huh?"

Yuuri resisted the urge to shrink like a wilting daisy. "Kinda feels like I let you down, I guess," he mumbled.

An incredulous release of breath huffed from Viktor's lips. "Yuuri," he said in disbelief, "honey, you can't be serious. Look at him."

Yuuri obeyed, looking down at the snoozing baby on his chest, and his heart immediately dissolved into a syrupy puddle of love. Chiharu had the cutest little button nose he had ever seen. With one finger, he smoothed the chunks of inky, silk-soft hair that peeked out from under the cap to the side, gazing in awe at his son's facial features. _Man_ , he looked like Yuuri's baby pictures. The resemblance was uncanny, save for slight differences given by Viktor. His mother was going to flip once she saw him all cleaned up.

He realized then that he had been staring with a dopey grin on his face for some time. When he looked up, Viktor's brow was pinched, but he was smiling.

"Sweetheart, I wouldn't trade him for a _dozen_ girls. We _made_ him. He's _ours_. I loved him from the moment we learned he was growing in your tummy. The moment you gave birth to him will be etched into my memory for the rest of my life." Viktor covered Yuuri's hand on Chiharu's back. "It's almost frightening how much I love him. I would give my life for him without a second of hesitation."

A rueful smile pulled at Yuuri's lips. "I thought the same thing earlier." He paused, thoughtful. "I think…do you remember how you described agape to me and Yuri that one time?"

 _"Like God's love, or a parent's. Self-sacrificing. Unconditional."_ The words echoed in his head.

Viktor nodded, eyes glittering, and Yuuri looked back down at Chiharu's sweetly sleeping face. His chest filled with butterflies.

"I think this is agape," he said softly.

In fact, he was positive. A love that was all-encompassing, mighty and protective and intense.

Viktor touched the back of little bean's teeny hand, and his one finger dwarfed all of the baby's miniscule digits. "I think you're exactly right," he murmured.

Yuuri blinked back tears. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound like I didn't want him, it's not that at all. I just…didn't want you to be disappointed."

"How could I ever be disappointed in something so flawless?" Viktor slipped the cap off of Chiharu's head. His dark, thick hair stuck out in several different directions, and Yuuri and Viktor both giggled. Talk about a bedhead. Worse than Yuuri's had ever been, and still absolute perfection.

"It's so unreal…he was just in my belly a few hours ago, and now he's here with us." Yuuri sighed, quiet and content. "It's sad…to think that…I'll never feel him kick again." His throat bobbed in a swallow, tears pooling.

"You will," Viktor murmured, sifting his fingers through Chiharu's hair. "Just not from the inside."

"I guess you're right." Yuuri's hand moved of its own accord, rubbing up and down Chiharu's soft, warm back. He was stirring now, making some awfully cute sounds and scrunching his little face as he woke up. Despite being worn out and uncomfortable, Yuuri's lips lifted in a smile. "Has he been asleep since I nursed him?"

"Like the tiniest, cutest log in the world," Viktor affirmed, lightly stroking down Chiharu's forearm with his fingertip. His voice slowly dropped into a coo. "I got the _sweetest_ snuggles in the nursery, didn't I, beanie? Daddy kept you nice and warm and cozy." Chiharu's forehead wrinkled and he let out a soft, whuffing breath, seeming to pry his eyes open with great effort. "Good morning, _lapochka_ ," Viktor whispered. Chiharu's eyes sleepily searched Yuuri's face, hazy blue and perfect, and Viktor sighed. "Look how pretty our angel is…oh, I could melt."

"You sound like you've already melted," Yuuri teased, combing his fingers through Viktor's hair and pushing it off of his forehead to drop a kiss on the smooth skin, earning a hum of appreciation.

"Maybe so. Old people tend to get weepy around babies, you know," he said gravely, and Yuuri snorted.

Little bean was going to have his dad wrapped around his teeny finger.

He was turning his head and opening his mouth now, attempting to fit his little fist into it, so Yuuri moved him down to nurse. After only one or two minor mishaps, Chiharu was latched and suckling contentedly, and this time, Yuuri was prepared for the deep, firm tugging in his breast. It really wasn't so bad. Just something he would have to get used to. The contractions briefly returned, but mild and bearable this time.

As little bean quietly nursed and Viktor crooned sweet nothings to him under his breath, Yuuri had to step back mentally for a moment to fully realize everything, to let it sink down to his bones and wrap around his heart.

He had given birth to a beautiful baby boy. All of his grueling effort had been worth it a million times over. Besides the hemorrhaging and nearly dying, which he neatly scooped from his memory and discarded for now, he felt like everything had turned out alright.

"You know," he whispered, "All the throwing up and being exhausted and sleepless nights and swollen feet and backaches…" he stroked Chiharu's cheek with the tip of his pinky. "All the fear that I'd lose him…" he looked into Viktor's curious, brilliant blue eyes. "…all those months of being too terrified to let you in to love me like you wanted…" Viktor's lip gave gave a slight quiver that made a lump rise in Yuuri's throat, and he had to swallow before he continued. "Somehow, it…it all feels so small looking back on it. All of it seems almost…I don't know, inconsequential, compared to how amazing he is." He looked back down at the baby. His breathing shuddered in his throat, and his voice came out hushed with stifled tears. "He's worth every single _second_ of hell I went through."

He meant that. With every fiber of his being.

Viktor's eyes were wet and soft, reflecting the golden lights of the city outside the window. It was like looking into the ocean at sunset. He didn't speak again, but the love quietly shining from the blue depths said more than words ever could.

In that moment, Yuuri felt highly accomplished and content.

He had made it through the trials and tribulations of pregnancy. It had felt like it would never end, especially in the last couple of months, but he had done it. Even though he had broken down into tears on several occasions, just wanting it to be over already, he had powered through, and he had a perfect little boy to show for it.

It was beyond rewarding. Even if he felt a bit like he had been run over by a steamroller.

As he watched his newborn son nurse and ran his fingers through his sweet fiancé's soft, fine hair, he sent up a silent prayer of thanks.

He was immeasurably blessed.

Viktor's phone buzzed softly with a call in his hoodie pocket, and he took it out and swiped to answer. Before he could even open his mouth to say anything, Yuri's voice came over the line.

"Katsudon okay?"

"A little worse for the wear, but I'm fine," Yuuri answered softly. Smiling knowingly up at him, Viktor put the phone on speaker.

"Little shit okay?"

Viktor harrumphed. "Little _bean_. Don't curse in earshot of my son. And he's perfect. Eating like a champ. Literal prettiest baby in the entire galaxy, in case you were wondering."

A strangled cough sounded from the other line. "Okay, so, listen here. I'm not trying to like…rush you? But there's like…eight people in this waiting room about to lose their everloving shit, me not included, of course. When can you have visitors? And mind you, after the Katsukis, I _will_ be first, or so help me, I'll wring your neck with that fucking gold medal."

Viktor and Yuuri burst into gales of laughter, punctuated by pained "aah"s from Yuuri when his abused abdominal muscles throbbed as a result.

His heart overflowing with light, feathery happiness more than made up for it.

A smiling sigh chased the laughter, and he stroked his fingertips through his newborn's unruly, beautiful hair.

"Sure, come on. There's someone you need to meet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I cried over a hundred times writing this one. I poured my heart and soul into it. 
> 
> Childbirth is very dear to my heart. It's gross and harrowing, but it's also such a wondrous miracle. I hope I was able to capture a little of that. ♡
> 
> If you wanted a girl, I'm really sorry to disappoint!! But remember what I said about trusting me? :3 have patience. Good things are ahead. Perhaps.
> 
> Thank you all so much for being so lovely and patient with me. You guys are the reason I keep writing. <33
> 
> We're far from the end of this story. Stay tuned!
> 
> Next chapter: mountains of newborn fluff, and...a few more things.
> 
> Until next time! ♡


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY. This chapter is finally done. I didn't think I would ever drag it out of myself, but it's here, and I'm proud of it.
> 
> Warning: pregnancy grossness doesn't end with birth by any means. A few graphic descriptions of nasties in this chapter, along with a pretty severe panic attack. Just a heads up ^-^
> 
> I hope this is worth the stupidly long wait.
> 
> Thanks to @autumn-leaves-falling for looking this over before I posted it. You're a treasure, hon.
> 
> Enjoy ♡

- _Flashback_ -

 

_December 10th, 8:41 pm_

 

Where there had previously been bone-chilling screams of agony echoing through the halls, betraying how much suffering and struggle it took to bring a new life into the world, there was now a stifling, ominous void of silence.

Sitting in that stuffy, jam-packed waiting room that smelled of antiseptic and worry, Yuri hadn't known that it was humanly possible to feel this level of dread.

It was choking him. Literally. A living, breathing, sinister thing, constricting around his throat more and more with every passing minute, cutting off his airways and giving him a throbbing ache in his temples.

And fuck, man, he wasn't one to work himself into an anxious frenzy like Katsudon was, but for the first time in his life, he just couldn't turn the jitters off no matter how hard he tried. The deluge of maybes and what-ifs and worst case scenarios pounding his mind was too powerful to beat back.

His eyes drifted across the room, surveying the friends and family around him in their varying states of misery. They all looked pretty terrible, but Viktor was the worst of all, by far.

After he had upchucked in the trash can, he had stumbled to a chair and fallen into it gracelessly, burying his face in his hands and trembling violently like he had been caught in a frigid gust of wind. Yuuri's mom and dad were on either side of him, patting his back and rubbing his knee, their faces tight with anxiety.

Viktor's bloodshot eyes alternated between watching the hallway for any sign of nurses and watching the clock, his fingers twitching restlessly and his features sickened and haunted. Yuri had never seen him so wrought up before.

A sudden realization slapped him across the face.

If Katsudon died, Viktor would shatter like glass, and he may never recover from it.

He had lost far too much in his life already.

Even though Yuri had only been ten (nearly eleven) years old at the time, he clearly remembered the day Viktor's mom had killed herself.

It had been a bitterly cold blizzard of a day in early January when the news had broken that the beloved former prima ballerina had died by a self-inflicted bullet to the head. It had been plastered on every news station and smeared across every social media headline, how absolutely _devastating_ it was and how Aleksandra was so _young_ and _forward this candle to twenty friends for suicide awareness sad face emoji_ , etcetera.

Funny how that only ever happened en masse like that when a celebrity died.

He had later seen the covertly-snapped pictures of Viktor and his sister at the funeral, captured by bloodthirsty paparazzi eager to capitalize on the living legend's worst moments, because tragedy sells, after all.

One photo in particular, one that had been trending on Twitter before being scrubbed from the records with the rest, had haunted his mind's eye ever since.

The grieving ghost of a man in the photo had barely even looked like Viktor. There had been this…listless, unfocused look in his red-rimmed eyes, like part of him had died along with his mom, leaving him a half-empty shell. The soft troughs beneath his eyes had deepened tremendously, the pale skin smudged sickly greenish-purple. His waist-length hair had been wrapped into a thick bun at the back of his head, silvery tendrils wisping delicately around his face, and his posture had been slumped and weary, his usual poise and grace conspicuously absent. Yuliana, looking no less haggard, had held one arm around his broad shoulders, fending off the vicious, tactless reporters crowding around him and trying to ask him questions. The fury smoldering in her blue eyes had been terrifying. Even through the photo, Yuri had felt her struggle to contain her rage.

No wonder she had dropped out of the public eye after that mess.

A few days after the funeral, Viktor had been spotted training at the rink with his signature long hair lopped off, and the media had, of course, lost their shit over it, as they do. Forgotten was the death of his mother; now, all they focused on was his "brilliant artistic decision," never once concerned with his mental health.

The first time Yuri had actually met Viktor face to face, he had sensed something dangerous lurking behind Viktor's dull, half-lidded eyes, his shadow of a faux smile. Something…volatile. Unnerving.

Yuri shuddered.

If Viktor lost Yuuri now, after losing his dad and his mom practically back to back…

He angrily shoved the thoughts from his mind, because Katsudon wasn't gonna fucking die. He was too tough. He was the Grand Prix Final silver medalist, for shit's sake. He had a brand new baby boy to take care of. A stupid postpartum hemorrhage couldn't take him down.

…could it?

A quick few minutes of researching on his phone later, he realized with blood pulsing rapidly in his throat that it _could_. Disturbingly easily. It was the leading cause of death in childbirth, claiming the lives of about 130,000 new mothers a year worldwide.

His stomach lurched. His breath quickened.

Holy fuck…Katsudon could actually _die_.

They would never see him again. They would have to lower him into the cold, snowy ground, into a grave he was much too young for. His baby would grow up without ever truly knowing his mother's love. Viktor would be a goddamn _mess_.

There would be a Yuuri-shaped hole in their lives, and in the hearts of millions of skating fans the world over, forever.

Yuri drew his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them, making himself as small as possible. A deep, intense ache settled in the pit of his chest.

Thirty minutes passed. No news.

Viktor was called out of the room to give the baby skin-to-skin contact, because he was apparently having trouble keeping warm, and they couldn't calm him down.

No shit, he had just been shoved from his dark, warm home into the cold, bright, loud outside world, and was all alone in a scary nursery without his mom and dad. Yuri's heart cramped. Poor little dude.

"Text me," he ordered in as stern a tone as possible when Viktor turned to leave. "If…if they say anything. About Katsudon."

Viktor just nodded distractedly, and then he was gone.

An hour of waiting stretched on.

Every snapping remark, every sneer about Katsudon's weight, every rude name Yuri had ever called him weighed heavily on his back, curling him further and further up into a miserable ball of shame.

With each minute that passed with no new information, his heart thumped harder and harder until it was shaking his chest with each pump of blood. He began to feel strangely sick, like something was crawling around in his stomach, working sticky, sinewy tendrils up the inside of his throat.

Katsudon couldn't die. He just _couldn't_.

He'd better fucking _not_ , or Yuri was going to…to…

…fuck…he didn't know what the hell he was going to do.

At 10:42 pm, just when he had gotten up to pace again, his phone buzzed with a text in his hand.

His chest froze from the inside all the way up to his jaw. He had to swallow back a bubble of nausea.

He lifted his gaze to the people gathered around him, desperately waiting for an answer. People who loved Yuuri with all their hearts.

People who would be devastated beyond belief if he was dead.

"Yuri…?" Phichit whispered, his grey eyes wide as saucers. "Is that him?"

On the spot like that with the whole room watching, it took so much effort to unlock his phone. God, he felt so sick.

Viktor's name shone from the screen, along with a precious few wonderful words that spilled molten hot relief down through his chest like he had been struck by lightning.

_< <he's alive and in recovery_

Trembling fingers lost their strength and his phone clattered to the floor, too loud in the silence. A few shallow gasps sounded around him.

Beka's hands were on his upper arms, gripping too tightly. His dark eyes held a wild, almost frantic fear that Yuri had never seen him express before.

"Yura, is…is he…?"

Yuri managed a nod, gulping around the uncomfortable lump in his throat.

"He's alive," he coughed out, his voice giving up on him and his eyes slamming shut against the tidal wave of traitorous emotion that flooded his torso.

Cries of elation and sobs of relief all around the room made him angrily clench his jaw to keep it from quivering.

Beka pulled him into a tight embrace, and he stiffened instinctively for all of one second, then all the fight left him. He clutched the back of his best friend's hoodie with white-knuckled hands, burying his face in his strong shoulder.

He stubbornly held the tears in, of course, because Yuri Nikolaevich Plisetsky didn't fucking _cry._

Especially not over that stupid, _stupid_ Katsudon.

His breath caught and shuddered. His shoulders shook. His eyes burned, his chest heaved.

…hell no, he didn't cry.

 

  
-

 

  
- _Present-_

 

_December 10th, 11:03 pm_

 

When Yuuri was thirteen, he had broken his arm falling out of a tree that he had known good and well he shouldn't have been trying to climb. It had knocked him unconscious, and when he had woken up in a bed in the emergency room, the look on his mother's face—a tearful mixture of worry, stern fondness, and relief—had been branded into his brain.

He had never forgotten that expression…and it didn't hold a candle to the anguish and desperation etched into his mother's features now.

"Yuu-kun," she breathed as soon as she was through the door, her face crumpled with emotion.

He quickly motioned for Viktor to take Chiharu, who had finished nursing and was dropping off to sleep, so he wouldn't get squished by the impending, crushing hugs.

Once his arms were free, he pulled some slack into the IV and transfusion tube so they wouldn't be jostled, then held his arms open toward his mother, his lips pursed downward and his chest burning with the effort of holding back the tears that were making his vision swim. She practically ran to the side of the bed, with his father and Mari close on her heels.

Her gentle, loving embrace enveloped him like the most comforting blanket, and when her thin, strained words met his ear, his heart seized up and snapped in two, wrenching an ugly sob from his chest.

"Oh, my son…my poor baby," she muttered softly, her voice hushed and breaking on the syllables of their mother tongue. "Yuuri, Yuuri…" she rocked him back and forth, petting his hair, whispering his name like a prayer and sniffling.

"I'm here, kaa-san, I'm alright now," he managed to hiccup through his tears. The fabric on the shoulder of her sweatshirt dampened underneath his cheek.

Mari wriggled her way under his other arm and embraced him, her face buried in his neck and her arms tight around his chest, and he winced inwardly; he was still leaking colostrum from Chiharu nursing, but he ignored the discomfort. He needed this right now. They all did.

She made no sound, but he felt warm droplets trickle down his bare shoulder.

To his shock, his father was crying, too, his cheek pressed to the top of Yuuri's head and his shuddering, gasping breaths puffing against Yuuri's hair. He reached up and took his father's hand, feeling dumbfounded.

He could dredge up memories of maybe one other time in his entire life that he had seen his father cry. Katsuki Toshiya didn't cry easily, like his wife and son did; if he cried, it was private, out of sight. Mari was the same way, though not to the same extent.

Yuuri swallowed hard. He had nearly broken his family's hearts.

The guilt was almost too much to bear, but he refrained from expressing it, because he knew it would be met with vehement protest.

He supposed it wasn't really his fault he had nearly died. It had been an accident.

A horrifying accident.

Mari's thick, rasping voice finally broke the silence, heavy with tears.

"Yuuri…why is there a tiny bruise on your chest…?"

Some of the sorrowful tension dissipated, broken by a sudden stream of watery giggles that he couldn't hold back.

"Well…about that…"

 

  
-

 

 

Viktor sat at the end of the bed, watching the precious reunion that was unfolding before him and cradling little bean in his arms.

As his sweet, tired Yuuri conversed softly with his family in Japanese, bringing them up to date on his condition and exactly what had happened to him, Viktor rocked slightly from side to side, gazing down at his son. Poor baby was struggling to stay awake, eyes rolling back in his head and practically crossing with the effort of fighting off sleep.

"So sleepy, my goodness," Viktor crooned under his breath, slipping into Russian without thinking. "You've had it rough, haven't you? I would imagine being born is quite stressful. Rest your eyes, sweetie, daddy's got you…" He rubbed one plush little cheek with his thumb, his heart filled to bursting with love for this tiny creation. Chiharu gradually dropped off to sleep, limp and comfy and safe in his arms.

_Sweet baby bean…_

A touch on his arm zoned him back into his surroundings, and suddenly, Hiroko's arms were around him, holding him gently with Chiharu between.

He leaned into her, resting his forehead on her soft shoulder, and closed his stinging eyes when he felt her hand slowly rub up and down his back with the most tender touch. Though she was silent, he could clearly feel the outpouring of love, and it made his throat tighten.

Before he had met Hiroko, he had almost forgotten what it was like to feel this kind of motherly love from another person. Lilia had been a sort of parental authority figure to him when he had trained under her for a short time as a teenager, and while he had no doubt she cared, she was a very severe, stoic woman for the most part, with a lot of sharp edges. In contrast, Hiroko's love was as soft and pillowy as a cloud, gentle yet strong, and it was achingly wonderful.

He drew back, looking up into the teary, russet brown eyes that were so much like Yuuri's. The words she had spoken in the waiting room returned to his mind, and his lower lip quivered.

"You called me son." The last word caught in his throat painfully.

He hadn't been called son in nearly six years.

She gave a slow nod, her eyes liquid and compassionate and shining like rich copper.

"Because you are my son," she whispered, cupping his face and rubbing over his cheekbone with her thumb. "Just as much as Yuuri is."

A frail, broken smile cracked Viktor's face. He closed his eyes, throat aching, unable to speak under the weight of such precious love.

Her soft knuckle lifted a tear off of his cheek.

After regaining his composure, he sniffled and held Chiharu out toward her. "Here, I know you've been eager."

Her face lit up like a sunrise, and she sat down next to him and took her newborn grandson into her arms, cradling him with an ease that only came from being an experienced mother. Stroking Chiharu's pink cheek with the knuckle of one finger, her eyes pooled with tears once more behind her round glasses, drifting over his tiny face.

"He looks so much like Yuuri did when he was born," she murmured. "But…he has your lips, and your chin." Her thumb caressed the corner of Chiharu's rosebud lips, and they pursed, bottom lip drawing under the top and his jaw flexing slightly.

Oh…he was suckling in his sleep. Viktor wondered if he was having sweet dreams of his mama's warm milk.

How _adorable_.

Hiroko exhaled a quiet sigh, a smile gracing her lips. "He's beautiful. I'm so proud of my boys." She leaned against Viktor's side, and he draped an arm around her shoulders and held her close. Her breathing grew shallow, and she lowered her voice for his ears only. "With Mari injured from that car accident and Yuuri…unable to conceive, or so we thought, I…I didn't think…" her voice trembled. "…I was prepared to love any child that you and Yuuri adopted in the future, but now we have this sweet boy…" she lightly rubbed Chiharu's little button nose with the tip of her finger, falling into cooing Japanese. "I knew you were a boy, Haru-chan…I knew all along…"

Viktor chuckled. Haru-chan, huh… "Yuuri never got a single inkling one way or the other. He was so frustrated about that."

"I really was." Yuuri's voice drifted from the head of the bed. His eyes were weary, half-lidded and fixed on Chiharu, and adoration glistened in his warm brown irises. "I wanted to be able to tell people that I felt like it was either a boy or a girl, but…nope. He wanted to surprise us all, I guess."

Hiroko gave a soft, humming laugh. "I didn't know with Mari at first, either. It came much later, and I very well could have been wrong, too. I would have been just as happy if she had turned out to be a boy, though."

Viktor turned to Yuuri. "Speaking of being wrong, I think Yura is probably ready to knock the door down with a battering ram."

"You would be right," Mari said dryly.

Toshiya spoke up for the first time, his words mixed with a fond chuckle. "The poor boy wanted to come with us, but the recovery ward only allows up to three visitors at a time…so he said he would wait, so we could come first. He's eager to see for himself that everyone is well." He patted Yuuri's shoulder, reaching to lightly graze the blanket Chiharu was wrapped in with his fingertips. "He was worried sick about both of you."

Yuuri's expression flickered with sympathy and no small amount of guilt, then he smiled his pretty smile, picking up his phone from the nightstand.

"I'll tell him to come in here."

 

 

-

 

 

If Yuuri hadn't actually seen tears filling the jade green eyes of Yuri Plisetsky, he would have never in a thousand years believed it happened. He was under the assumption that Yuri didn't cry over anything but skating.

He was apparently wrong.

Yuri's jaw was tightly clenched as he held the railing of the bed in a two-handed death grip, staring down at the sleeping bundle in Yuuri's arms with wet, reddened eyes and more love in his expression than Yuuri would have ever thought him capable of. It made his heart twist and ache with brotherly affection.

"Sit down," he murmured, patting the bed near his hip with one hand, and Yuri stiffly obeyed. "Do you want to hold him?"

"I don't want to drop him," Yuri immediately forced out, bulldozing over the last couple of words of Yuuri's sentence. Poor kid…he had been worried about that for months, way before Yuuri's due date was even close.

Yuuri gave him a reassuring smile. "You won't. Just hold him like this," he lifted Chiharu in his arms slightly, gesturing. "Support his little head with your elbow, there's nothing to it. I've never held a baby before today, either. You'll do fine." His eyes softened. "If you're not ready, though, you can wait. I won't rush you."

Yuri visibly hesitated, reaching out and pulling his hands back, then rubbing his upper arm with a conflicted expression. He clearly wanted to.

"Here, may I?" Viktor reached for Chiharu, and Yuuri gratefully handed him off. Viktor was the most experienced of the three of them. He could be the baby holding coach. "Just hold your arms like Yuuri did, Yura."

Yuri looked scared half to death, but he obeyed, and Viktor placed the snoozing newborn in his arms.

"Support his neck with this arm," Viktor instructed quietly, moving Yuri's arms to a more comfortable position. "Relax your elbow. This hand goes here…yes, just like that…"

As Yuri gazed down at Chiharu's face, his eyes studying intensely, his posture slowly became less tense and frantic. After a time, his breathing began to shake, and he pursed and bit his lips, obviously trying not to cry.

Yuuri's heart softly broke.

A stuttering exhale left Yuri's nose and his brows drew together, his lips curving downward and his cheeks, lips, and nose reddening. More tears gathered, heavy on his pale lashes, and his expression scrunched up with effort. If it wouldn't have totally ruined the sweet moment, Yuuri would have burst into laughter at the image of Yuri angrily holding back his tears, trying his damndest not to let them out.

Apparently losing the battle, he sucked in a wet, shuddering sniffle through his nose, and a single tear escaped and fell down his face, plipping onto the soft fabric of the receiving blanket Chiharu was wrapped in. The tears began to fall in steady streams, with Yuri sniffling and giving a muted hiccup every few seconds, droplets trickling down his face. Yuuri rubbed up and down his back, sniffling a bit himself.

He didn't care what anyone said. Behind the cursing and rudeness and "give no fucks" attitude, Yuri Plisetsky was a sweet, tenderhearted young man, and he had a lot of love to give.

He just…really, _really_ hated giving it.

Yuri caught his breath and shifted Chiharu to a safe position cradled in one arm, accepting the tissue Viktor handed him without a word and pressing it into his eyes. A few breathy, stifled sobs escaped him, then he breathed in and out for a moment, trying to get his emotions under control.

"I _hate_ crying," he finally wavered, voice stretched thin by his tears.

Sympathy pricked Yuuri's chest. Yuri must have trusted them immensely to allow himself to break down like this; he didn't like showing weakness in front of anyone, let alone two fellow competitors. He maintained such a tough, brash exterior that sometimes Yuuri forgot how young and vulnerable he really was.

"It's okay, Yura," Viktor said quietly, wiping his own eyes with the heel of his hand and sniffling. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's just us." He rested his hand on Yuri's shoulder, and Yuuri was shocked that it wasn't immediately knocked off.

Yuri didn't acknowledge him, but it was better than a snarl and a hurled insult. Yuuri supposed his heart was probably a bit softened right now, what with the warm, snuggly angel in his arms.

Yuri dabbed his eyes, wiped his flush-splotched cheeks and nose, his eyes never leaving Chiharu's sweetly sleeping face.

"You just had to go and prove me wrong, didn't you, little punk? You were supposed to be a girl…" Chiharu squirmed slightly and voiced the cutest little grunt in his sleep, his cheek rubbing against Yuri's arm, then he stilled again, slumbering on. Yuri huffed tearfully. "God, I'm so pissed, but you're so damn perfect, so…" He sniffled and reached up to wipe his reddened eyes with the tissue again. "I guess I'll…get over it. One of these days."

Yuuri and Viktor shared a secret smile. Yuri's heart was already thoroughly captured.

The whole exchange was so endearing that Yuuri wished he had been recording video of it, but then thought better of it.

Some moments didn't need to be interrupted by a cell phone.

"He's so small." Yuri adjusted the sleeping baby in his arms, as if feeling how little he weighed. "I expected him to be way bigger."

A soft smile tugged at Yuuri's lips. "Newborns are small, Yura."

Yuri gently touched one of Chiharu's petite hands with one finger. "Yeah, but…your stomach was so huge." His eyes drifted down to Yuuri's belly. "It still kinda is."

Out of habit, Yuuri rested his hand on the side of his stomach, and was once again taken off guard—and more than a bit unsettled—by how empty and pliable it was. This time, though, he had the presence of mind not to grab so hard, simply smoothing his hand up and down the rounded mound, feeling the soft shift and give of it displacing under his palm.

(It still felt strange and wrong to not feel Chiharu kicking and squirming away in there. He shoved that thought away for later when he could safely cry his eyes out over it.)

"I had a lot of excess fluid in my uterus, and that made me bigger than I normally would have been," he explained. Yuri gave a 'hmm' of acknowledgement.

"There must have been a gallon of it," Viktor noted in amusement. "It gushed out like a waterfall when he pushed the baby out. My arms got soaked."

Yuri's nose wrinkled in revulsion. "Ack. I didn't need to know that, thanks."

"Sorry."

Yuuri stifled a chuckle. Viktor didn't sound sorry in the slightest. He sounded _smug_. He was so proud to have been the one to catch little bean as Yuuri brought him into the world. Yuuri would probably be hearing about it for the rest of their lives, and he didn't mind one bit.

He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. God…he had pushed a whole, entire baby out of his birth canal. Even though the adorable evidence was peacefully snoozing away in Yuri's arms, it still seemed outrageous and impossible for something so large to come out of such a small hole. It felt like he had dreamed it.

But the steadily worsening throb in his pelvis let him know that he definitely hadn't.

Viktor leaned down to press a soft kiss to Yuuri's cheek. "I'm going to go get something from the vending machine, do either of you want anything?"

"Hmm…" Yuuri lifted his heavy arm, reaching to take Viktor's hand. "I don't think my stomach can handle anything but water right now. If you don't mind." Just the thought of eating or drinking anything besides it made him feel queasy.

"I wouldn't have asked if I did." Viktor winked, and Yuuri smiled up at him weakly, giving his hand a squeeze. Yuri rolled his eyes, disgusted at the display of affection, but, naturally, his disgust didn't prevent him from asking for something.

"That Minute-Maid strawberry apple stuff, if they even have it in Japan."

"I'm sure they'll have something similar to it," Yuuri assured.

Viktor gave a smart salute. "Coming right up."

He excused himself to go retrieve the drinks, leaving them in a surprisingly comfortable silence that Yuuri was reluctant to break, but he had waited for this opportunity for a while, and besides Yakov or Lilia, Yuri was the only person he could think to ask. He had to force the words out before he could second guess himself and chicken out.

"Yuri, why don't Viktor and his sister talk anymore?"

The question hung in the air. Yuuri's heart thumped in his ears.

Yuri's brow creased. He seemed to consider his words for a long few moments, chewing the inside of his cheek like he always did.

"Did something happen? Did they have a disagreement?" Yuuri pressed, glancing at the door, not knowing how much time he had.

"I don't know," Yuri said haltingly, sounding uncertain. He sifted his fingers through Chiharu's hair, looking down at him. "Not that that's really any of my business to tell even if I did."

Of course he would choose _now_ to start being mature and tight-lipped.

"Do you maybe have her phone number, or…?"

Yuri shook his head.

Yuuri wilted. "I know I'm being nosy, but it's just…Viktor always closes off so badly when I ask about her, and I can tell it's…whatever it is, it's hurting him."

Viktor always got such a sad, faraway look when her name was mentioned. Call it morbid curiosity, but Yuuri wanted to know what on earth had happened between them, because he couldn't imagine ever being mad enough at Mari to distance himself from her like that, no matter what she had done.

"Well, maybe he doesn't wanna talk about it, then." Yuri shrugged. "Keep bugging him, I guess." Chiharu was beginning to squirm in his arms, slowly waking up from his long nap. He'd be ready to nurse again soon.

Sighing inwardly, Yuuri dropped the subject.

One of these days, he was going to work up the courage to ask Viktor outright.

He wanted to meet his future sister-in-law.

"By the way." Yuri's mumbling drew Yuuri's eyes back to his face. His gaze was burning a hole in the floor, and his face was pinched. "Don't…I'm…" He ran a hand through his long hair, and Yuuri saw his lower lip quiver. A few soft breaths later, he spoke in a tight murmur. "For what it's worth, I…I'm glad you're still here." His voice broke on the last word.

Yuuri's eyes softened.

He reached to give Yuri's muscular shoulder a squeeze, infinitely grateful that he had been allowed to see this.

"I am, too."

 

 

-

 

 

 **CherryBlossomPanic** okay so I'm not one to like worry or start rumors but WHERE THE HELL WAS VIKTOR NIKIFOROV AT THE EXHIBITION GALA #mia #ineedtoknowifhesokay #gpf  
4,395 likes

 **NotSoGrumpFan** FOR REAL, likeee Plisetsky performed as gold??? When he obvs didn't win gold yesterday??.?. And Minami wasn't even supposed to perform, but he performed as bronze!! I'm so confused #whereintheworldisviktornikiforov #gpf  
4,105 likes

 **motherfuckinjesseeisenberg** I'm worried, what if something bad happened to him and he had to withdraw ;-;  
2,482 likes

 **FridayNightLight** bruh what if his knee messed up  
     3,190 likes

 **geralts-beard** if he was in a car accident or some shit im boutta flip my fuckin wig  
3,442 likes

 **Bowser-did-nothing-wrong** oh Christ I hope not  
     2,490 likes

 **sameolddream13** I'm about to pass out please let him be okay  
          2,245 likes

               >>See 56 more comments

 **Raiarain** ffs, calm down and use logic, everybody. If he had been in a wreck we'd have heard about it by now.  
6,346 likes

 **TimeToDuel** raia has a point, guys. We don't know anything for sure. Wild speculation will get you nowhere fast.  
     2,578 likes

 **havetacowilltravel** how about we consider the much more plausible explanation of "what if something happened with Yuuri and the baby"  
8,495 likes

 **december-rain** oh please no god  
     5,501 likes

 **CfghTheAntLord** fuck fuck fuck if anyone knows something please tell us cause I'm shaking  
          1,259 likes

 **4skfh** pls let them be okay ;_;  
               889 likes

                    >>See 129 more comments

 **TimeToDuel** found this photo on an anonymous message board just now…it's from the practice session before the Final. That's definitely Yuuri, with Baranovskaya beside him and Feltsman bringing him something to drink. (Side note: I knew they both had hearts ;w;♡) Looks like he's in pretty terrible pain, so I'd say it's fair speculation that he was in labor here in this picture (unlikely, since he was at the final), is in labor as we speak, or has had the baby by now.  
72,907 likes

    **megumin-best-girl** that's a contraction if i ever saw one tbh. poor baby's hurting…shame on the person who took this photo while he wasn't looking  >:[  
     43,064 likes

 **Raiarain** based on that photo I'm 80,000% sure bby Nikiforov is on the their way, if they're not already here. Yuuri's been dropped for a few days now (as you can tell from the pic, wow), and his due date is so close. It would explain Viktor's absence from the exhibition, as well as the lack of pictures/posts from Viktor today. He usually posts at least once or twice a day, whether it's just a selfie or an update on Yuuri and little bean, but I don't think he'd be thinking about posting on Instagram if Yuuri is having the baby. #babywatch? #victorybaby  
          64,852 likes

 **sameolddream13** well now I'm just as worried but also hella excited  
               23,285 likes

 **sign-of-igni** oh wow, he COULD be in labor, that would explain everything perfectly  
                    12,330 likes

                         >>See 38 more comments

 **TimeToDuel** just in case he is, @katsuki-y we're cheering you on from all over the world! Best of luck! #comeonvictorybaby  
146,728 likes

>>See 1,347 more comments

 

 

-

 

_December 11th, 6:47 am_

 

Waking up the morning after giving birth felt so strange.

Besides being utterly exhausted and sleep deprived to the point of delirium. That was a given. Chiharu had woken Yuuri up three times to nurse, after all.

It felt like waking up after the hardest battle of his life.

But there was also a breathless anticipation, one that made his heart flutter and rise in his chest. A feeling of childlike excitement, like Christmas morning and a birthday and an awards ceremony all rolled into one.

A brand new person existed in the world now, brought to life by his and Viktor's love for each other, and this was his first morning ever.

It was indescribable. Amazing.

"Vitals are all looking good," Kanade murmured in the quiet of their new, much more comfortable room, removing the blood pressure cuff and tiny heart monitor from Yuuri's arm and finger.

Yuuri nodded absently, gazing down at Chiharu, watching him nurse. His little body was so, so warm on Yuuri's bare chest, and softer than a marshmallow.

Viktor sat on the bed beside him, rubbing chunks of Chiharu's thick, silky hair between his fingertips every now and then, a contented smile on his lips. He was so obviously delighted that little bean had inherited Yuuri's black hair. It was too adorable for words. 

Yuuri was really starting to enjoy nursing. Not so much the discomfort of it, and certainly not the contractions it caused, but the closeness he felt with Chiharu. Watching his son's pretty blue eyes rove over his face with alertness and recognition made his chest flutter and skip with love. The invisible bond between them, a tenderness the likes of which he'd never felt with another person, grew stronger with every quiet, intimate nursing session.

He loved it. He said a grateful prayer that Chiharu had taken to it so easily.

He could tell the baby was getting full now; he was taking long breaks between suckling and his eyes were blinking slowly, tiny lids drooping. Yuuri leaned down to press a long, smiling kiss to Chiharu's forehead, nuzzling his tiny pink nose after.

_Sweet baby._

The smile on his face faded, slowly replaced by a cringe that scrunched his weary features.

He turned his head on the pillow, squeezing his eyes shut and moving his free hand down to rest on his contracting stomach. His palm was met with rigidity that reminded him far too much of labor, a tightness of his uterus that made his forehead prickle with sweat. A pained breath left him, quivering in the air. Ooh…it was a bad one.

Viktor's fingers passed through his hair, sifting through it and stroking with such tenderness. It was an immense comfort, the quiet support Viktor tirelessly gave.

He felt slim, cool hands pull the sheets down and frame his belly. "Breathe, Yuuri-san." Kanade's soft voice made him realize he had been holding his breath, so he sucked a slow breath in through his nose and let it out through pursed lips.

The feeling was scarily familiar; it made his heart pound with fear to remember being in labor, and with his muscles so worn out and sore, it somehow felt even worse.

"I know it hurts, but your uterus is doing its job," Kanade said sympathetically, lightly rubbing into his sides and upper belly, probably to check the size of his womb. "It's got to contract back down to about the size of a pear over the next few weeks. The contractions will get less intense over time, but I'm afraid breastfeeding will trigger them more often than not."

Yuuri lifted his hand from his belly, wiping the sweat from his brow with shaking fingers. God, why did it have to last so long? It was like having déjà vu.

"You're okay," Viktor whispered against his hair. Yuuri turned his face into Viktor's broad chest, fighting the urge to give voice to the pain and disturb his sleepy son.

Soon enough, the contraction ended, and Yuuri had to regain his breath. That had been on par with some of the worse Braxton Hicks he had experienced.

Viktor's lips met his forehead, and it almost made him want to protest; his skin was so sticky with dried sweat, it had to feel horrible to kiss.

Pulling back and letting a tired sigh huff from his lips, he lifted a hand to his face, scrubbing his cheeks and running his fingers through his oily hair. His nose wrinkled at the texture.

"I feel nasty," he rasped quietly.

Kanade nodded in understanding, hooking the equipment back onto her stand. "I'd advise you, if you're not too sore yet, to go ahead and take a shower soon. It will help you feel a lot better. There are spare gowns and underwear in the bathroom closet."

"Wish I could just wear sweatpants, but…" he winced. "I don't want to bleed on them." Viktor seemed to tense in the corner of his vision.

He knew he would; when he had changed out the padded underwear for a clean pair after they had taken his catheter out and Kanade had examined him, he had been a bit disturbed at just how much bright, clumpy blood had soaked the pad. But, he supposed it was warranted. He had shoved a tiny human through there, after all.

"I remember how annoying it was, believe me." She retrieved a plastic squirt bottle full of clear liquid from a cabinet and set it on the nightstand. "Use this on your birth canal, and try not to get a lot of soap down there. This is a cleansing solution that will treat inflammation and prevent infection."

"Ah…thank you." Oh, that wasn't ominous at all. Something else to dread.

"If you're going to shower soon, I'll go ahead and take your IV out, but you'll need it again once you're done. You're a bit dehydrated, and you've eaten next to nothing since giving birth." As she removed the IV from his forearm and stuck a bandaid over the dot of blood, she gave him a gentle frown. "You need to be eating, Yuuri-san. The baby gets all his nutrients from what you eat, so I want to see you try to eat a healthy meal sometime today, okay?"

He squared his shoulders. "Yes ma'am…"

It wasn't that he was trying to be stubborn, or didn't care that Chiharu needed him to eat. Food just sounded…very unappealing. He had managed some toast and milk at breakfast, but even that had turned his stomach. He supposed that once his hormones leveled out a little bit, he'd start getting hungry.

"I'll be back to check on you again a little later," Kanade said over her shoulder as she exited, and Yuuri sent her a grateful smile and a nod. She had been so wonderful during all this.

He felt Chiharu's lips fall open, finally releasing his nipple from their vice grip, and he smiled in relief, stroking Chiharu's pink cheek with one knuckle. Those big blue eyes squeezed shut in a long blink, and his teeny tongue worked in his mouth, pushing his rosebud lips into a cute pooch.

"All done? That was yummy, huh, beanie," Yuuri whispered. He could practically see Viktor's hands itching out of the corner of his eye.

"Here, I can burp him…" Viktor took the baby gently, and Yuuri's body melted into the bed out of sheer exhaustion once it realized he didn't have a baby in his arms to hold up anymore, and his eyelids drooped of their own accord.

There was never another time in his life that he could remember being so tired. He felt so wimpy for being literally _winded_ from nursing, but he supposed it wasn't really just from nursing. He had been in labor for twenty-one hours, had pushed a baby out from between his legs, and had lost a near-deadly amount of blood. Plus, with Chiharu suckling nutrients from his body, he supposed it was normal to be worn out. Not to mention the fairly hard contraction he'd just been through. It would probably take some time for him to build his strength back.

Oh, God. He didn't even want to _think_ about skating.

It didn't even occur to him that he had dozed off until he was drifting awake and wrinkling his nose at the cold, damp press of wet fabric on his cheek. _Glamorous, Yuuri._ Oh. His gown was still pulled down from nursing. Cheeks warming, he hastily stuck his arm back into the hole, tugging the gown up to cover his chest.

The sight that greeted him when he looked up chased the embarrassment away.

Viktor was sitting on the padded window seat with his mother, bathed in soft morning light, and Chiharu was awake and blinking sleepily in Viktor's arms. His mother was gently stroking the thick, dark hair on Chiharu's head, and Viktor was whispering to him, kissing his forehead and holding his tiny hand with one finger. Viktor's eyes had that fatherly softness in them again, an entirely new kind of warmth that Yuuri had never, ever seen before he had gotten pregnant. It filled his chest with butterflies.

 _"Ohayou,"_ his mother whispered, giving him a smile.

"Morning...how long was I asleep?" He slurred, sitting up slightly and adjusting his crooked glasses. Viktor's gaze lifted to him, his face somehow softening even more.

"About two hours," he said apologetically, and Yuuri let his head hit the pillow with a resigned sigh. "I know, I'm sorry, but…you just looked so exhausted, I couldn't bring myself to wake you. You needed the rest."

He was probably right. The nap seemed to have helped; Yuuri's limbs didn't feel quite as heavy. He scrubbed his burning eyes beneath his smudged glasses, squeezing them shut until he saw squiggles of pink and green. He needed to clean his lenses. He needed to clean _everything_. Even being soaked in sweat after a grueling practice day at the rink had never felt as disgusting as this.

He glanced at the clock; 8:56. Time seemed to be moving so strangely, as if trapped in molasses. His mother needed to go back to the hotel and get more rest...she couldn't have gotten much sleep during the night, with how stressful the day before had been.

His eyes drifted back to Chiharu, softening at how perfect and tiny he looked cradled in his dad's strong arms. "Has he been okay while I've been asleep?"

Viktor nodded, swaying slightly back and forth. "He woke up about ten minutes ago." He looked back down at their newborn, smile lines appearing at the corners of his eyes. "Had to change his diaper, and he didn't like that very much—no, you didn't, poor widdle man—" he kissed Chiharu's forehead, right where his wispy black hair ended. "But other than that, he's been an angel." He grinned up at Yuuri. "I still can't believe you slept through his vigorous protests."

Disappointment rose in Yuuri's chest. "Aw…I missed his first diaper change…" He immediately felt ridiculous for being sad about something so silly, but it was still a milestone in his eyes.

"Don't worry, I took pictures."

Yuuri couldn't hold back his sudden snort of laughter, and his mother giggled softly. "Viktor," he scolded. "Taking pictures of our poor son while he's vulnerable…"

"What? I had to be able to show you, it was so weird." Viktor stifled a chuckle of his own. "It looked like black tar."

Yuuri's forehead instantly scrunched in worry. "Is that normal?"

"Perfectly normal," his mother assured. "It's like that for all newborns."

Chiharu suddenly squirmed in Viktor's arms, his little brow wrinkled up, and a series of tiny, whuffing grunts left his pouting lips. The sound made Yuuri's heart drop into his toes.

"What, buddy?" Viktor crooned down at him, rising from his seat and lifting Chiharu up for a kiss on one squishy cheek. "You're hungry, I bet. Let's go see mama."

_Already? It feels like I just fed him…_

After wriggling one arm out of his hospital gown and pulling it down to expose one side of his chest again, he held his arms out, and Viktor placed Chiharu on his chest.

"Mama's got what you want," he cooed under his breath, moving Chiharu to a cross-cradle hold and compressing his breast between his thumb and fingers. Sure enough, those little pink lips were already opening, ready for milk. Yuuri patiently waited until it was just wide enough, then tucked his nipple into Chiharu's waiting mouth in a nice, easy latch, the first truly easy one so far.

He was rather proud of himself.

He relaxed back into the pillow, stroking Chiharu's silky hair and locking eyes with him as he began to nurse. "Good job, beanie," he whispered, grinning from ear to ear when tiny red fingers gripped his chest and soft blue eyes blinked. His stomach cramped with another contraction, but it wasn't nearly as bad as the previous one. He was able to ignore it almost completely, breathing deeply and steadily.

Viktor sat on the bed, resting his elbow on the railing and smiling fondly. "It's so cool to me that you can just feed him whenever you need to."

"I think so, too. Even though it feels like he's sucking my soul out through my nipple."

"Does it really?" Viktor looked alarmed.

Yuuri sniffed out a laugh and shook his head, briefly holding his breath when the prickling pull in his chest intensified. "Not that bad. It's kinda…I dunno. Almost satisfying, in a way." He smoothed Chiharu's unruly hair to one side across his velvety pink forehead, watching his little jaw move slowly up and down and hearing the tiny grunts and soft puffs of breath he let out though his nose after each gulp. "Kinda like wiggling a loose tooth, if you ever did that as a kid. It hurts, but it's a satisfying pain."

"Oh, my, yes. I remember doing that." Viktor's laugh was soft and nostalgic. "Mama claimed to think it was the strangest habit, then she finally admitted she had done it as a child, too."

Despite the lingering discomfort of the contraction, Yuuri's lips tilted in a smile. He had grown to treasure the tiny tidbits of info and endearing facts about his parents Viktor would give from time to time. He was slowly loosening the tight vice on his heart, opening up to Yuuri about them more and more.

He blew a slow breath through his lips, squeezing his eyes shut briefly. He wished the contraction would just go away, already. Luckily, at least so far, Chiharu never fed for very long, so the contractions would subside soon. His stomach was tiny, Yuuri knew, and with how nutrient-rich the colostrum was, it made sense that it didn't take much to satisfy him.

Once he'd had his fill and Yuuri lifted him to his shoulder, he let out a long sigh, rubbing and patting Chiharu's little back to coax any air out of his tummy so it couldn't hurt him.

"Okay, I need a shower soon, or I'm gonna go crazy." He dropped a kiss on Chiharu's petal-soft shoulder.

His mother spoke up from the couch. "I can take the baby while you clean up, he'll sleep for a while since he just nursed," she offered.

"Um…" Viktor cocked his head and looked confused, vaguely pointing to himself, as if to ask why he couldn't just hold Chiharu while Yuuri got cleaned up.

Her face softened with sympathy. "He's going to need your help, Vicchan."

Yuuri and Viktor exchanged an uneasy glance.

"You should go sleep," Yuuri protested in a murmur, and she shook her head.

"I got some sleep last night. But, if it makes you feel better, I will, once you're done."

After transferring Chiharu to his grandmother, tossing a change of clothes over his shoulder, and moving back to the side of the bed, Viktor held his hands out for Yuuri to take, raising his brows and giving an encouraging smile.

Yuuri took his hands, swallowing and steeling himself, his breath shuddering with dread in his throat.

"And Yuuri?"

He glanced at his mother, seeing unending empathy in her soft brown eyes.

"Remember, you're going to bleed. Try not to worry too much."

He took a deep breath and nodded, giving her a faint smile. Yuuko had already warned him about that. Very explicitly.

_"I'm gonna be frank. Your bathtub will look like a murder scene for weeks."_

Bracing himself, he slowly sat all the way up and slid to the side, getting his legs off the bed, already cringing at the ache in his belly and thighs as his fatigued muscles worked to help him move. God, he was so _tired_. It felt like he had done fifty quad flips in a row, while clutching a watermelon between his thighs.

He looked over at Chiharu, drifting off to sleep in his _obaachan's_ arms, and his face relaxed into a weary smile.

Little bean was worth it all.

With Viktor's help, he pulled himself to his feet.

Black spots streaked across his vision, the base of his skull tingled unpleasantly, and the world went hazy and dark.

"…ri…Yuuri?"

When his vision returned to normal and the buzzing in his ears quieted down, he realized that Viktor was almost completely holding him up, preventing him from falling. It felt like the floor had tried to give out beneath him, taking his stomach with it. He swallowed down the nausea while his body adjusted to being on his feet for the first time since giving birth.

He supposed he should have expected it to be difficult.

Viktor's voice cut through the thick ocean in his head.

"Maybe we should wait," he was fretting, steadying Yuuri with strong arms, but Yuuri shook his head as faintly as he could; he was pretty sure if he shook it harder, he'd throw up what little he had managed to eat that morning.

"No, I'll get better at it, just…just don't let go." Fear swirled in his torso at the thought. He slowly relaxed his full weight onto his feet and straightened, clutching Viktor's shirt.

Soft lips brushed his forehead. "Never."

Viktor's arm wrapped around his back, he pulled Yuuri's arm around his shoulders, and they began the slow, careful, painful trek to the bathroom.

Walking after childbirth was…odd and absolutely horrible. His insides ached fiercely and felt all out of place, like one wrong move could send something vital gushing out between his legs. Hell, it already felt like it was; now that he was standing, he was feeling a slow seepage of warmth down there that definitely wasn't pee.

He hissed and cursed under his breath the whole way there, unable to keep from limping and wobbling like a newborn colt.

He'd never felt so weak in his life.

They made it to the bathroom after what felt like half and hour, and Viktor locked the door behind them.

"I hate to ask because it makes me feel like an invalid, but…" Yuuri looked up at Viktor imploringly as they slowed to a stop next to the tub. "Will you…get in with me…?" Good grief, he was out of breath already.

"Of course, I was already planning on it," Viktor said immediately, turning to fully face Yuuri and giving him a gentle look of reproach. "You're not an invalid, _solnyshko_. You just gave birth, you're worn out."

As he spoke, he stripped of his clothes, folding them neatly and setting them aside on a shelf. The casual way that Viktor undressed in front of him still made Yuuri blush to the roots of his hair sometimes, but somehow, it had become something he appreciated. Viktor felt free and comfortable enough around him to be exposed, and that familiarity made him feel safe and secure.

A chunk of hair was tenderly tucked behind his ear by long, slender fingers. "I like helping you, so try not to feel guilty about it. Okay?" Viktor's blue eyes were soft and sweet. Sincere.

Yuuri shoved the guilt as far down as he could, nodding slowly. "Okay," he whispered, reaching up to anchor himself with both hands on Viktor's bare shoulders.

Viktor's cool fingers worked against Yuuri's back for a moment, then the hospital gown slipped down to gather at his elbows, and Viktor took it off of him, laying it over the edge of the sink. As the absorbent underwear he wore was slid down his legs and discarded, his shoulders hunched of their own volition, his face burning with something that felt an awful lot like shame.

…why was he ashamed? It was just Viktor. They were engaged to be married. They'd had sex dozens of times. They knew everything about each other. Hell, Viktor had seen him hugely pregnant, and had still practically worshipped his body.

 _He's never seen you like this,_ his mind whispered in singsong.

He slowly turned his gaze downward.

His pectoral muscles were swollen and veiny, and colostrum was still seeping from the tip of the nipple Chiharu had nursed from, having been smeared in a sticky trail across the underside of his breast by the gown shifting. It unnerved him how far his belly still stuck out from his torso; he still looked about six months pregnant, though the firm fullness of his uterus was conspicuously absent. Both the vertical line that ran through his belly button and the cluster of stretch marks on his left side had gotten even darker, pushed together by the sagging skin.

Not only that…the warmth between his legs had become a trickle, slowly trailing down his inner thigh. He pressed his legs together in an attempt to stop it, so mortified that tears pricked behind his eyes.

_You're going to bleed on the floor. Good job._

_You're hideous._

_Repulsive._

He didn't even realize he was trembling and breathing shallowly until he felt soft lips caress his forehead, bringing him back to the present. He looked up to see that Viktor's eyes were moist, his expression creased as if he were in pain.

"I can see what you're thinking, sweetheart."

An unsteady breath left Yuuri's mouth, and he covered it with a shaky hand.

"I…I can't help it, I look _awful_ ," he managed, his voice tight and hushed with horror. His chest felt too small for his lungs, his heart fluttering like a frantic bird trying to escape a cage that was closing in on it.

The beautiful glow of pregnancy was gone. He was nothing but an empty vessel now.

He felt…ugly. For the first time in a long time.

Viktor studied him for a few seconds, and the heat in Yuuri's face spilled down his chest into his torso, prickling unpleasantly underneath his skin.

Why was he staring…?

He was so unprepared for Viktor kneeling in front of him and holding his soft, swollen belly between infinitely gentle hands that it made him give a startled twitch.

"V-Viktor, what…" he whispered in feeble confusion, holding onto Viktor's shoulders for balance.

Viktor leaned forward, closing his eyes. His warm lips lovingly pressed just below Yuuri's shapeless, stretched-out navel.

Yuuri's face contorted, his throat closed up, and all of the built up insecurity in his heart came tumbling out.

He broke down into breathless, forceful sobs, the kind that curled him in on himself and made his stomach burn, gasping for breath in between. Hot tears rolled down his face, plipping onto his chest and belly and trickling down the grotesquely disfigured skin.

He wasn't pregnant anymore, and yet here Viktor was, kissing the bloated, empty womb that may never, ever cradle another unborn baby.

It seemed so…so final and _sad_ , and it squeezed around Yuuri's heart until he felt like he couldn't breathe.

"Why," he choked out hoarsely, digging his fingers into his lower belly. He felt somehow deserving of the pain that flared under his fingertips. "He's n-not in there anymore, why are you…"

Viktor's hands slid around to the backs of Yuuri's thighs, and when he looked up, his eyes were wet and he was slowly shaking his head.

"Yuuri," he whispered, hushed and incredulous. "All the love I've shown your belly these past nine months…it wasn't just for the baby. It was for you, too." He turned his head and rested his cheek on Yuuri's stomach, and Yuuri actually felt it sink in. "Your beautiful, miraculous body gave us a child. That's anything but awful."

Yuuri tried to take it to heart. He really did. And distantly, he knew Viktor was being sincere, that he really did feel that way.

But the mixture of hormonal sadness and fatigue had already worked its way into his heart, firmly weaving and digging roots into it, convincing him that Viktor couldn't love someone so disgusting.

Someone who had nearly died on him.

He buried his face in his hands, succumbing to the powerful despair, because he was far too tired to resist it.

So, so tired.

He heard the water turn on. Felt Viktor pick him up as if he weighed nothing. He was probably much lighter now that he wasn't carrying a seven pound baby and probably at least eight pounds of fluid in his belly anymore.

That sickening emptiness returned, churning deep in his chest and stomach, powerful enough to make him feel queasy.

Droplets of warm water pittered on his neck and shoulders and on his left side as Viktor eased down into the tub with Yuuri cradled in his arms like a sick child. The warm, sticky slide of his inner thighs together made him regain enough presence of mind to struggle weakly in protest.

"I'm going to bleed all over you," he managed, panicking. When he looked down, sure enough, the water was just beginning to wash it off, sending rivulets of blood-tinged water streaming down the sides of Viktor's thighs, and _oh, God, what the fuck is that, a chunk of my insides?!_

A horrified whimper threatened to leave his throat.

But instead of Viktor's lips curling in disgust, they were pressed to Yuuri's forehead with a feather-light touch.

"I don't care."

The words were murmured against his ear, warming his skin, and that was all it took to fray the last thread of control he possessed.

He wrapped his arms around Viktor's muscled torso, buried his face in his wet, solid chest, and cried like his heart was breaking. Deep, hard sobs that ripped from his aching throat, taking his breath and crunching his heart until he was gasping for air all over again.

In the back of his mind, even though he knew it was likely because of his hormones having undergone a major overhaul in the past twenty-four hours, he was angry with himself for getting so worked up. They had already cried so much when Viktor had brought Chiharu back to him the night before that his head was throbbing in protest, his face heated with exertion and his worn out tear ducts burning and stinging with overuse.

He was sick to death of crying.

But he just couldn't stop. His chest felt pressurized, like a can of soda that had been shaken, and that pressure had to go somewhere. If he didn't let it out, he was going to be snappish and irritable, and good God, after everything he had put Viktor through in the last thirty-six hours, Viktor didn't deserve any more stress for the rest of his life.

Through the tumultuous storm of emotions in his head, he managed to cough out a quivering "I'm sorry".

He felt Viktor stiffen. "Sorry for what, baby?"

"Everything," he sobbed roughly, voice cracking and rattling in his chest from the torture it had been put through during his labor. He was practically tasting blood, his throat was so raw. "You didn't deserve all of this s-stress and worry and stupid _shit_ I put you through, you're so sweet and wonderful and I'm helpless and weak and such a huge burden and I-I almost d-died on y—"

"No," Viktor's voice seemed to scrape out of him. "Stop it. I won't let you drive yourself into the ground like that, it…please, _solnyshko_ , you're not—"

"I know you don't like to hear it, but it's how I feel!"

His voice reverberated off the tile, and silence stretched between them.

He could feel and smell Viktor's unease, but he plowed on, forcing the turmoil out in a senseless stream of word vomit, so it couldn't plague him anymore.

"I'm trying, I'm trying to be better, but when I have all these loud thoughts just screaming at me that I don't deserve you and that you don't really love me and that you'll eventually get tired of me, s-sometimes I'm just too exhausted to beat them back, Vitya, I'm so tired I feel like I could go to sleep for days, but I _can't_ , a-and…H-Haru-chan is so tiny and helpless and vulnerable and now that he's not in my belly anymore I can't protect him like I could before!" He was sobbing again, rambling words full of anguish and barely understandable. "What if he gets sick, or hurt? What if someone drops him? What if he gets lonely without my heartbeat to listen to all the time, oh, Viktor, I can't _stand_ it, poor _baby_ —" the rest of the words tumbled out in a wailing, incoherent sob. He wept into Viktor's chest, sobs thick and wet and whistling with strain, unable to fight off the tremors that gripped his body.

Now that the words were out, his body and soul felt flayed and bloody, like an open wound submerged in a salty ocean.

Chiharu was going to grow up. He would certainly experience sadness and pain and loss and rejection and a million other negative things in his lifetime.

And Yuuri would never, ever be able to protect him from all of it.

The thought was unbearable.

Cool fingers dragged through his damp hair, catching on his sweat-sticky forehead, and he realized then that Viktor's breathing was as shaky as his own. A congested, shuddering sniffle expanded Viktor's chest under Yuuri's cheek, and when he spoke, it was soft and wounded, wet with tears.

"I could never get tired of you, _zolotse_. You're my baby."

Yuuri's cheek rubbed the firm muscle as he shifted his head, weakly pressing closer and hiccupping through the resigned, self-deprecating words.

"I know…"

"It's not your fault you n-nearly…" Viktor audibly swallowed. "…and…Chiharu is healthy, sweetheart, he'll be just fine…everyone will be careful with him."

"I know…"

Deep down, he did know.

Viktor was quiet for a while, but he never stopped the whispering touches on Yuuri's water-speckled skin, or the impossibly tender kisses to his temple, full of unspoken love and devotion.

In time, with Viktor's help, Yuuri quelled the storm of panic. The rational part of his brain took the wheel once again, and he was utterly ashamed for even suggesting that Viktor didn't love him.

If tenderly cradling and kissing your squishy, sweaty, hysterical fiancé in a hospital bathtub while blood and tissue from his mangled birth canal dribbled over your thighs and swirled down the drain wasn't the most raw, unadulterated love imaginable, then Yuuri didn't know what the fuck love was.

He started crying again, but it wasn't the same nauseating, chest-locking sobs; it was simply quiet breaths of relief, droplets slipping down his cheeks and mingling with the warm water streaming down Viktor's chest.

Of course Viktor loved him. God, his brain was so fucking stupid.

"I love you, so much," he murmured weakly, sniffling and swallowing and giving Viktor as tight a hug as his exhausted arms could give. "Thank you for putting up with me."

A kiss was touched to his forehead. "I love you, too, my heart." Slender fingers sifted through his sopping hair, pushing it off of his forehead and tracing along his hairline. "But I'm afraid I have to correct you: I don't 'put up' with you. That implies that it's a chore. It's never a chore or a burden to love you." His hand was lifted and tenderly kissed. "It's quite effortless on my part, actually."

A watery laugh crawled from Yuuri's throat, muffled into Viktor's chest. "Even when I'm bleeding all over you?"

"Oh, _especially_ then."

Yuuri shook his head, unable to keep from giggling. "Silly."

Was it just him, or had Viktor's voice just sounded a bit…thin?

He was overthinking again. Viktor was just joking.

He shifted in Viktor's lap, breathing a wincing, punched-out _"oofh"_ when something in his lower belly flared hotly. He had to find his breath before speaking again, pressing his palm to his sternum.

"Shit…feels like I've been beaten…" His entire torso, from the bottom of his ribs down to his crotch and even his inner thighs, felt like a giant pair of hands had twisted and wrung him out like a human dishrag.

He felt Viktor's hand rest on the side of his stomach, so gently that it didn't even sink in. "In a way, I suppose you have been. That was…" Yuuri heard him swallow again. His hand moved to the underside, cupping the mound tenderly. "Yuuri, you're astounding. I've never seen anything so incredible. I can't believe you went through all that torture, it…it almost seems impossible."

"I know…it's so hard to believe Chiharu's even real, even though he's been kicking me for the past four months, and I gave birth to him, a-and he's here now, and I've seen him and held him and he's the most precious, perfect thing in the world…" Yuuri gulped. "It scares me to death to remember that I considered aborting him at first."

"Oh, honey, no…" Viktor's soft, plush cheek pressed to his forehead. "You were frightened out of your mind back then. It would have crossed anyone else's mind, too, under those circumstances."

The corners of Yuuri's lips trembled. "It makes me feel so selfish, though, because I…all I was thinking about was myself, I didn't even consider the baby." His throat grew tight. "The first thing I thought when they told me I was pregnant was…'this is it, this will drive Viktor away for good, and I'll never see him again.'" His stomach twisted unpleasantly at the mere thought.

Viktor's nose nestled into the top of Yuuri's hair. "Well, you were wrong, weren't you?" There was a smile in his voice. "Massively, wonderfully wrong."

Yuuri's eyelids lowered. "And I'm so glad I was…" He snuggled his cheek over Viktor's thumping heart. "I still can't believe it's finally over. I had a baby."

It sounded so ludicrous out loud. Twenty-five-year-old dime-a-dozen Japanese figure skater Katsuki Yuuri just had a baby.

"You did, my love." Viktor rubbed up and down his arm, kissed the ball of his shoulder. "And you did a masterful job, at that."

Yuuri hid a smile in Viktor's chest. Okay, so maybe he was a little proud of himself.

"Did you ever think we'd have a baby someday?" He traced his finger over Viktor's firm, wet pectoral muscles, leaving a kiss on his sternum. "Back then, I mean, when we first got together?"

Viktor shook his head. "Not after you told me you were infertile, that day we had sex in the bedroom after practice."

"The day we…oh."

Oh, geez.

Yuuri counted back in his head as best he could. That had been…the middle of March, give or take. Unless he was mistaken, and he was fairly certain he wasn't, that was the very day they had conceived Chiharu, because it was the day Viktor had forgotten the condom.

The irony wasn't lost on him. A soft laugh huffed from his lips.

Viktor's chest rumbled under his cheek. "To tell the truth…I had wanted to have a baby with you from the moment marriage was even mentioned. I couldn't stop imagining it. I've always wanted children, even when I was a little boy…" The words were quiet, uncharacteristically hesitant. "But then, when you reminded me that you couldn't get pregnant, I…thought maybe I—…I'd put it out of my mind as best I could, I suppose." There was a slight trip in Viktor's voice, as if his brain had rerouted his thoughts mid-sentence. "I never knew how lucky we would get."

Yuuri nodded slowly, rubbing his cheek on Viktor's chest and letting his eyelids droop. "So, so lucky."

He breathed out a pained sigh, feeling like he could dissolve into a miserable puddle on the shower floor. His strength was beginning to flag, and fast. He wanted to fall asleep right there, but he had to wash away the sweat and oil that clung to every inch of his body, or he'd never feel clean. And man, did he ever want to feel clean.

But just imagining the effort that it would take to do so made him whine internally, because holy hell, he was starting to _hurt_. His stomach, crotch, hips, and thighs were the worst of it, but his back and throat were aching, too. Even his hands were sore, likely from how hard he had gripped the bed sheets, the railing, Viktor's hand—

His thoughts screeched to a halt, eyes popping open. Fuck, Viktor's _hand_.

He stared down at the hand that lovingly held his belly, the hand that he had mindlessly clutched while bearing down with all his might, noticing for the first time that the thin, delicate skin on the back of it was mottled with soft splotches of purple, red, and greenish-yellow. The dark, branching veins beneath the skin stood out much more than they normally would have, all the way up to Viktor's wrist. It looked like it had been slammed in a door.

"Oh, Vitya, your hand," he whispered faintly, lifting Viktor's hand from his stomach and cradling it against his chest like a fragile, broken flower. "I hurt your poor hand, I'm so sorry…I told you holding my hand would be a bad idea…"

"It's okay," Viktor's voice soothed, but Yuuri heard the words tremble as he touched the dark bruises. "It's just bruised, not broken. Kanade looked at it for me while you were asleep. I'm just fine."

"You can't tell me this doesn't hurt," he said pointedly, inspecting the marred skin. It had to be horribly painful. How the hell had he not noticed it until now? Did pregnancy brain continue even after you weren't pregnant anymore…?

The only thing he could figure was that Viktor may have been subtly concealing it, keeping it turned away, so Yuuri wouldn't feel guilty.

"It does, baby. But remember, I'm the one who took your hand, and you did try to tell me not to." Viktor breathed a gentle laugh that tickled the hair at Yuuri's forehead. "I knew what I was getting into. You're a strong little thing, you know." Yuuri rolled his eyes fondly, obligingly lifting one arm to flex his bicep, and Viktor oohed and aahed, squeezing the muscle and sighing in a dreamy fashion. "My big, strong hubby." He dropped a few smacking kisses onto Yuuri's forehead that made him giggle.

Now that his stupid, hormonal emotions had leveled out, he felt like he could focus on getting clean and getting back in the bed and back to his sweet baby boy.

He missed him so much already.

He leaned back against the sloped side of the tub while he washed up, scrubbing the hours and hours of sweat and toil from his hair and skin, occasionally wincing when his stomach muscles tensed involuntarily as he moved. Viktor pitched in, bless him, washing Yuuri's legs from the knees down, since he couldn't lean up very far without his breath being taken away.

Being clean had never felt so delicious. It even gave him a little more energy, feeling so much better.

Now, however, came the part he had been wary of.

"I feel like this is going to hurt," he said skeptically, eyeing the flexible plastic squirt bottle he held like it could grow teeth and bite him.

"The sooner you do it, the sooner it will be over," Viktor encouraged, massaging shampoo into his own hair. He looked so cute with his hair all plastered to his head and water droplets sparkling on his silver lashes. His irises always looked so minty green and pretty underneath a fluorescent light.

Yuuri exhaled a slow breath, gingerly cupping his balls in one hand to get them out of the way and feeling his cheeks heat up as a result. "I guess." He winced. He had to be careful not to pull upward too hard, or it would tug on the sore, inflamed slit on his perineum. He had a feeling he would be hurting down there for months.

He noticed Viktor glance down, then immediately back up again. A bit of color drained from his face. "Want me to do it?"

"Nah…I've got it." Yuuri sighed. "It can't be more painful than pushing a baby out, right?"

That was going to be his frame of reference for pain from now on, he could already tell.

Popping the cap off the squirt bottle with his teeth, he turned it over and aimed between his legs, having to lean up to see around his bloated stomach. He tensed in preparation, shrinking in on himself, then squeezed. A cool, soothing stream of liquid fell on the slit between his legs, washing the gross, viscous warmth away only to immediately be replaced by more.

In the back of his mind, he wondered if he'd ever stop bleeding. At least it wasn't burning like he had expected it to.

"Does it hurt?"

He looked up to see that Viktor had paused in rinsing his hair, his brows upturned and his forehead creased between them. Yuuri's heart fluttered at how concerned he was.

He shook his head. "It…no, it actually feels kinda nice." He rinsed two fingers with the solution, then gave the slit a _very_ gentle experimental pass over, cringing as he did. It stung slightly, and the skin felt puffy and hot against his fingers. No wonder Kanade wanted him to make sure he cleaned it. It was already so irritated. Getting an infection down there would be terrible.

When he lifted his hand, blood glistened on his fingers, bright red and fresh. He hastily swished his fingers in the shallow water at the bottom of the tub to clean them off, pulse thumping in his throat. He had never seen so much of his own blood in one day.

His heart skipped a beat. He didn't even want to think about how much blood Viktor had seen.

He let his breath out, unaware he had been holding it in, and squeezed out a more forceful stream of solution, making sure every crevice of his birth canal was cleaned. No telling what kinds of icky substances still clung it. Childbirth was beautiful, but damn, if it wasn't the most disgusting thing he had ever gone through.

"I'll get you a gown and some underwear." Viktor grabbed his towel, placing a kiss on Yuuri's wet hair on his way out of the shower.

"Thank you," Yuuri whispered, giving Viktor the sweetest smile he could muster, and it was softly returned.

Once he was completely rinsed off (and had realized that he was going to bleed no matter how long he sat there and cleaned), he washed his hands, rinsed the tub, grabbed the handrail, and pulled himself up, finding it much easier this time.

Though he overcorrected and nearly fell flat on his face.

"I'm fine," he waved his hand and laughed nervously as Viktor hovered over him, looking worried. "I'm just…a lot lighter now, apparently, and I didn't realize it. I don't have to lug a baby with me wherever I go anymore." It felt so bizarre. His center of gravity had already changed so drastically. It would take some getting used to.

Viktor relaxed. "True, I didn't think about that. You don't have to compensate for the weight in your tummy anymore." He took Yuuri's hands, helping him step out of the tub, and gave him a handful of toilet paper to stave the bleeding until he could get a pad on.

Once they had dried off, Viktor hurriedly slipped into his clothes—a dark grey pair of sweatpants and an old, worn, pale pink v-neck—then he helped Yuuri get a new pair of padded underwear on and tied a fresh gown at his back. The soft, clean feeling of the cotton on his freshly washed skin was absolutely heavenly.

"There," Viktor murmured, finishing the knot and slipping his arms around Yuuri from behind. "Worthy of the runway. My pretty Yuuri." A warm kiss met the side of Yuuri's neck, and he leaned into it with a sleepy smile and a hum.

"You're the pretty one here." He rested his hands on Viktor's forearms. "That shade of pink is so nice on you."

He could practically hear the blush in Viktor's voice. "Oh…this old thing? You're sweet, baby."

He was about to note how much smaller his belly was versus the last time he looked in the mirror like this before he'd given birth, but a sound from the next room cut him off, and he and Viktor froze and locked eyes in the mirror.

Muted whimpers, along with his mother's gentle, placating voice.

His heart clenched up and pulled strangely in his chest. Oh, poor little bean was hungry…

He hurried back into the hospital room as fast as he could with Viktor's help, and as his mother stood from her chair with her grandson in her arms and Yuuri carefully climbed back into bed so he could nurse his baby boy, he felt content.

It was a warm, unusual feeling, being so completely needed by this tiny human he and Viktor had made together. Chiharu depended on him for nourishment and warmth, and everything in between. He was sure it would become a difficult task in the future, when he was worn to a frazzle from Chiharu waking him up at odd hours to nurse, but for right now, as he settled his newborn in the crook of his elbow and laughed softly at his cutely scrunched face and cooed to him in Japanese that such a sweet boy shouldn't make such a grumpy expression…

For right now, he was utterly in love with this baby, and he was going to bask in it.

No matter how unbelievably exhausted he was.

 

 

-

 

 

Immediately after nursing the baby, Yuuri sacked out again, his damp hair haloing around his head on the pillow and his inky lashes fanning against his cheeks. His complexion was finally beginning to return to something that resembled normal, losing the sickly greyish hue of blood loss and slowly gaining a hint of his pretty pink flush back, though dark circles of tiredness still framed his closed eyes.

As Viktor reclined in the chair beside the hospital bed with their son in his arms, he couldn't help but glance up at Yuuri every couple of minutes and just…watch him for a few quiet moments. He looked so precious and peaceful, a far cry from the suffering he had endured the day before. It was so _wonderful_ to see him getting some real rest, because if anyone in the world deserved it, it was Yuuri.

What a champion.

As Yuuri slumbered away, his hand had wandered to cup the soft swell of his stomach through the covers, like he always had when he was still pregnant, though there was significantly less to cup now. That unconscious, protective gesture gave Viktor a strange heaviness in his chest. It was like Yuuri's body wasn't yet convinced that he had given birth, and was still commanding him to protect his baby.

The thick, white curtains that hung from the windows diffused the midmorning sunlight, dimming the room. Viktor had pulled them shut when it had become clear that Yuuri was going to be dozing off, so the light wouldn't be in his eyes as much. He needed as much rest as he could get before Chiharu got hungry again, which, so far, had been every two to three hours.

For the first time since early that morning, the room was blanketed in a heavy, serene silence, only broken by the quiet whirring of the vent in the ceiling and Yuuri's soft breathing.

The previous night, around midnight, everyone had retreated to their hotel rooms once they got word that Yuuri was going to be okay. They were all exhausted, especially Yuri and Phichit, who had skated their hearts out that morning at the exhibition, then sat in an uncomfortable waiting room for over twelve hours. Some of them had barely slept the night Yuuri's water had broken, either, too worried about how his labor was progressing to get much real sleep.

Now that they knew he was going to be alright, Viktor figured they had slept pretty peacefully.

Since Viktor knew Yuuri would need to sleep off and on for the next few hours, he had told everyone that he'd let them know when Yuuri felt up to having visitors, so in the meantime, Yuuri could rest up in preparation.

Besides Yuri and Phichit, who had already met him, they were all so excited to meet little bean, and to see Yuuri again and give their congratulations. He was so incredibly loved by so many people, and it warmed every crevice of Viktor's heart.

Though, he wasn't exactly surprised. Yuuri was one of the most lovable, genuine, precious people he had ever met. It was no wonder people adored him.

Speaking of people who adored him…

He pulled out his phone with one hand, settling his sleeping son safely in the crook of his elbow.

**To: Kenjirou Minami**

_> >hey, it's Viktor. How are you feeling?_

He replied almost immediately.

_< <just fine! still kinda droopy and cold, but they've got me on an IV with iron supplements to build my supply back up. they said I could be taken off of it either tonight or tomorrow morning ^w^_

_> >that's great to hear. odd question, are you able to stand and walk?_

_< <yup, as long as I hold onto my IV stand_

_> >if it's not too much to ask, I'd like you to come see Yuuri when he wakes up. He's been terribly worried about you, and I know he'd like to thank you in person._

_< <omg id love to…pls let me know once he's awake and doesn't mind a visitor_

_> >will do. And minami?_

_Thank you, from the bottom of my heart._

_< <it was no trouble. i'm just glad i was able to help him :')_

A gentle smile settled on Viktor's lips. Minami had such a big heart.

He set his phone on the window sill, placing his arm back underneath Chiharu's warm body and adjusting him to a comfortable position, angling the bundle toward the light of the window so he could look at this beautiful baby Yuuri had given birth to.

The soft, pale light fell across Chiharu's face, sparkling in the inky hair that fell across his forehead and highlighting his rosy, delicate facial features. Viktor traced the curve of his petite nose with a touch so light it was barely there, marveling silently at how exactly it matched Yuuri's. Hiroko hadn't been kidding, either; his lips were Viktor's, through and through. He wondered if Chiharu's smiles would be heart-shaped like his own once Chiharu discovered how.

Ohh, his heart wasn't ready for baby smiles. He was going to cry, he just knew it.

It was unbelievable that this very baby had been kicking and wiggling away in Yuuri's uterus for the better part of five months, pressing against their hands when they touched and spoke to his belly.

And now he was here with them, whole and perfect, a tiny human being conceived out of love.

How incredible.

Viktor passed his fingertips through his son's downy hair, still utterly taken with how dark it was, and how _much_ there was. No wonder Yuuri's heartburn had been bad enough to make him nauseous.

…that was an old wives' tale, right? A lot of heartburn during pregnancy meant the baby had a lot of hair? He couldn't remember.

If so, that probably meant his own mother had had zero heartburn while she was pregnant with him. Yuliana had likened him to a naked mole rat when he was a newborn, and he had to agree. He sent up a prayer of thanks that he had turned out relatively attractive as he had gotten older.

The involuntary smile on his face slowly faded, and the sharp thread of guilt that he was very accustomed to wound around his heart and yanked, cutting into the flesh. His throat clogged with emotion, his chest compressed by the weight of the silence that had stretched like a cavern between him and the only living blood relatives he had left.

His eyes wandered to his phone.

For a few seconds, his breath hung in his lungs.

His fingers twitched. Longing squeezed his heart.

But as always, the soft, thin voice of insecurity crept into his ear.

_It's been too long. It would be horribly awkward, and you know it._

_You don't even have her number anymore._

_She probably doesn't want to talk to you, anyway. Not after all this time._

_Let it lie…_

His gaze slowly lowered, wet with regret.

It was true.

And so, like every time before it in the past five years, he quietly swallowed the grief and loneliness, turned his attention to something else, and buried the thoughts as deep in the back of his mind as he could muster.

 

 

-

 

 

"The most important thing will be to run the bath water nice and warm, but not hot. Test it with your wrist beforehand. Newborns lose body heat very quickly, so keep him wrapped in the towel at first, while you wash his face. Only unwrap him right before bathing his body, then wrap immediately after."

Yuuri's eyes followed Kanade's movements as she cleaned Chiharu up in preparation for his very first bath. He had soiled his diaper again, and Viktor had very accurately described the look and consistency of newborn poop; it was sticky and black and slightly terrifying.

And oh, Chiharu did _not_ like having his butt cleaned.

He squalled like a banshee the entire time, his face red and scrunched and his fists bunched into tiny balls of rage, and if Yuuri hadn't been fighting off the urge to sweep his son away from Kanade and comfort him, he would have laughed. He'd never seen a newborn so livid.

He could tell that Viktor, who was reclined on the bed with him with one arm around his shoulders, sensed his disquiet. Unsurprising; his arms were crawling with goosebumps, and he was sure his scent was sharp and anxious.

"He sounds like Yuri when he doesn't get his way with Yakov," Viktor whispered against his ear, and he pressed his lips together on a trembly smile.

_He's so sweet._

To Kanade's credit, she was extremely gentle. Her movements were experienced and relaxed, despite how loud and wiggly Chiharu was being. She had probably changed thousands of diapers in her life. Chiharu was in very capable hands.

"I know, honey, I know," she crooned as she wiped Chiharu off one final time. "It's just _awful_ , isn't it? I'm almost done, I promise." She looked up at Yuuri with a rueful smile, tossing the dirty wipes in the small garbage can beside her. "I never enjoy making them cry, but newborns are just going to cry. There's no getting around it. He's not hurting, though. He's just telling me how heartily he disapproves."

Yuuri managed a shaky laugh, blinking the tears from his eyes before they could fall. "Was I that obvious?" He rubbed his chest.

"You were, but all new mothers are, trust me." Kanade's eyes crinkled at the corners. "You're just concerned because he's crying. It's absolutely normal for you to be protective. It's in your blood." As she spoke, her skilled hands wrapped Chiharu in the clean, fluffy towel he had been resting on, tucking it around him and lifting him into her arms, then she dropped the wrapped diaper in the trash. "Alright, that's a bit warmer, huh? Let's go back to mama for a second…"

Yuuri gladly took him, snuggling his nose into his wailing newborn's hair. "Shhh, I'm here, sweetie…" He kissed Chiharu's velvety temple several times. "Kanade-san was nice and gentle, you're fine…" He glanced at Viktor with an incredulous raised brow, raising his voice over the screams. "I _slept_ through this?"

"Like a rock. Unbelievable, I know."

Kanade chuckled. "Let's let him calm down a bit before we try something else new. I'll get everything ready in the meantime."

While Viktor and Yuuri attempted to soothe their offended baby, Kanade bustled around the room, filling the empty plastic bassinet on wheels she had brought in with cupfuls of warm water from the sink, then setting out a few simple supplies on the foot of the bed: a washcloth, a couple of fluffy towels, a clean diaper, a small, soft-bristled brush, a pump bottle of bath solution, and a tiny bottle of pale yellow baby shampoo.

Chiharu's crying tapered off to whimpers and snuffles, his brow wrinkled and his eyes searching Yuuri's face.

"There, now," Yuuri murmured, rocking him gently. Viktor held their son's little hand, kissing his delicate fingers. "You're okay. Mama and daddy have you." Chiharu's expression slowly relaxed, and Yuuri turned his head toward Viktor, resting his head on the pillow. "His eyes are so pretty. So much like yours already." He raised his chin up slightly, and Viktor took the invitation; their lips met softly, just a simple, lingering press, but it was warm and comforting and had Yuuri smiling against Viktor's lips.

With a muted sound of pressure releasing, Viktor broke the kiss and hummed. "He looks much more like you than me. Something I'm quite grateful for."

Yuuri rolled his eyes. "You can't have been that bad."

"I was, trust me. Bald as a cue ball. I was premature, too, so I was a bit small and gangly, and my skin was loose as could be."

"You're showing me your baby pictures one day," Yuuri threatened with a huff. "I refuse to believe you were ugly."

Viktor snorted. "Oh, don't worry, you'll see how wrong you are. If you ever find them."

"Watch me."

Kanade chuckled from the sink, where she was washing her hands and arms up to the elbows. "Ready to plug your ears again?"

Oh, boy. As cute and endearing as he hoped it was going to be, Yuuri was ready for this to be over. Chiharu's crying made him lactate every time, without fail. He had already had to change gowns twice that day because of it, and he was still damp from the most recent crying fit. It felt so sticky.

Feeling like a betrayer, he handed his blanket-wrapped son to Kanade.

She switched him to one arm, took the washcloth, and wet it in the small makeshift tub she had filled, then stretched one corner over her index finger. "To clean his face, don't use soap. Just lukewarm water. For his eyes, just make sure they're closed and rub once from the inside corner outward, to remove any discharge that he may have. Just forewarning, he's going to hate this…"

Sure enough, when she gently smoothed the washcloth over Chiharu's eye, his face crumpled and reddened, he coughed out a tiny breath and immediately sucked it back in, then his thin, shaky wailing rose to a shrill crescendo as she wiped his other eye.

Yuuri squirmed, pressing his palm over one side of his chest. Heat poured into his face when he felt the warmth of colostrum leaving him, soaking into the fabric of his gown. Viktor's lips met his temple, silently comforting him.

"Just give his face a little wipedown," Kanade raised her voice, "being very gentle as you do. Newborn skin is sensitive, so make sure to use a nice, soft, cotton cloth, and don't do a lot of rubbing."

Once she had done that, she brought him over to the plastic bassinet and gave the water a few pumps of the mild soap solution. As she unwrapped the screaming newborn from the towel, his little hands grabbed for thin air, spindly arms waving and trembling, and Yuuri's heart nearly broke in his chest. Poor little bean didn't know what was going on…

"Do all newborns get this enraged when you first bathe them?" Viktor asked.

"Every single one," Kanade said apologetically. "But some of them do like this next part." She gently lowered the angry, flailing baby into the water, keeping a firm hold on his arm and resting his neck on her arm. His crying softened until it had stopped completely, and he huffed and blinked confusedly, but seemed to relax. "See, that's kinda nice, isn't it?" Kanade cooed, passing the wet washcloth over his chest. "At this stage, don't submerge his umbilical stump just yet. Just clean around it with a cotton ball and some water to prevent infection."

Yuuri sat up and scooted to get a better view, temporarily forgetting his embarrassment at how cold and damp the chest of his gown had gotten.

"He doesn't mind that, it seems," Viktor noted softly.

A tiny stream of liquid shot up out of nowhere. "Oop—" Kanade ducked and hastily covered Chiharu's lower half with the washcloth. "Here come the waterworks."

Yuuri and Viktor both burst into gales of laughter, their voices overlapping. "Did he just pee?" "Oh my God!"

"Most of them do," Kanade chuckled. "I think the warm water triggers it." Chiharu didn't look a bit sorry, blinking up at Kanade with those big blue eyes like a perfect little angel. Oh, he looked so cute. Yuuri's heart melted like warm sugar. Kanade gave a wrinkled-nose smile down at the baby, bunching up the soiled washcloth and setting it aside before reaching for a clean one. "You tried to get me, didn't you?"

As she gently washed Chiharu off, he was surprisingly calm. He did squirm and pout like he was going to cry when she washed underneath his neck and arms, but other than that, he was quiet. Viktor stood up at one point, leaning his elbows on the side of the bassinet, watching Kanade's motions intently.

"If baby is content, you can even just let him float a bit, as long as you keep as firm hold on him." Kanade placed her other hand underneath Chiharu to keep his clamped umbilical stump out of the water, rocking him from side to side in the water and smiling down at him. He was looking up at her with his forehead wrinkled, as if to say, "you're not mama, but you're nice and I'm kinda liking this, so I'll allow it for now."

Yuuri watched Viktor out of the corner of his eye. He was utterly transfixed, his tender gaze roving over their baby boy. The blue-green of his irises was as soft and luminous as fine satin.

"I wonder if it reminds him of being in Yuuri's tummy." His voice was quiet and pensive.

Once again, Yuuri jolted inwardly. The knowledge that Chiharu was outside of his womb hadn't fully sunk in just yet. His brain still hadn't made that disconnect, and every time it was reminded, it struck him like a brick to the chest, shivering unpleasantly all the way down to his toes.

"It's very possible," Kanade agreed, cupping water in her hand and pouring it over Chiharu's chest and shoulders. "Amniotic fluid is very warm. I'd imagine being in the womb is quite comfortable for an unborn baby."

Chiharu kicked his tiny legs underneath the water, squirming contentedly; the memory of that precious wiggle worm kicking inside his womb made Yuuri rest a hand on his empty stomach, blinking back tears.

"Aww…are you comfy, beanie?" Viktor crooned. Chiharu's eyes found him, his rosebud mouth parting in a tiny 'o'. Viktor reached to place his finger in one tiny palm, holding Chiharu's hand. "Yeah, you are, sweet boy…all warm and cozy and getting nice and clean. Daddy loves you so much. My God, you look like your mama…"

An uncontrollable smile stretched across Yuuri's face, and his heart swelled with pride at how much Viktor loved their son. He'd never seen him so enamored.

"Unfold that big towel on the bed, if you don't mind," Kanade told Viktor, nodding toward the clean, folded towel she had set out on the foot of the bed. Yuuri could see how reluctant he was to let go of Chiharu's little hand, but he complied. "He may get upset again, this will be cold for him for a moment…" she lifted Chiharu out of the water and set him on the towel, gently drying him. "Just give his skin a pat to dry it. Don't do too much rubbing, or it might irritate it."

Chiharu wriggled and gave a few quivering, bleating cries of protest. Yuuri leaned over him, kissing his tiny forehead and stroking the wisps of hair at his temple.

"Mama's here, baby…everything's okay…"

Kanade didn't let him stay cold for long. Once he was dry, she wrapped him in a clean towel, tucking it around him carefully and picking him back up, and he quieted down. "Alright…let's get that pretty hair washed, and we'll be all done. Yuuri-san, do you want to come watch? We'll need the sink for this."

"Oh…yes." He drew in a deep breath, sliding to the side of the bed.

Viktor's hand cupped his elbow. "Here…" he offered his hand, and Yuuri took it.

With that extra support, he found it a lot easier to stand than the last time. No dizziness swam in his head as he carefully rose to his feet, and Viktor gently placed his hand at the small of his back. That simple, protective gesture always made Yuuri's heart curl up in satisfaction.

"Thank you," he whispered, leaning up on tiptoe to smooch Viktor's soft cheek; it turned his cheeks an adorable shade of pink that made his smile even sweeter. Arm in arm, they approached the sink, where Kanade had already turned the water on to warm and was patiently waiting.

"The easiest position to wash baby's hair in is very similar to one of the nursing holds, called the football hold." She switched Chiharu around until he was cradled perfectly between her arm and side, and Yuuri recognized it from the breastfeeding videos Yuuko had sent him. "Hold under his little neck like this, giving good support," she pointed, "and that will free up your other hand to wash his hair."

She lifted the small bowl in the sink that had been collecting warm water, dipping the back of Chiharu's head in it and then pouring it over the rest of his hair, keeping it out of his eyes.

The reaction was immediate.

His little eyes went wide for a moment, and his lips parted in surprise. As Kanade repeated the motion, getting his hair thoroughly wet, he began to blink slower and slower, and unless it was just wishful thinking on Yuuri's part, he was looking very relaxed, even more so than he had in the tub.

Kanade took the bottle of shampoo, squeezing a tiny dollop out on top of Chiharu's pitch black hair. "Alright, let's get all that gunk out of your hair..."

Using her fingertips, she gently worked the shampoo into a lather, rubbing all over Chiharu's head to distribute it, and he practically melted in her arms, his tiny lips falling open and his eyes slipping shut. Yuuri didn't think he had ever seen anything as sweet and adorable as his newborn's relaxed expression of bliss. It was so cute that he teared up, having to bite his lip to keep from full-on crying. They had the most precious baby in the entire world.

"Oh, my…" Viktor's voice was hushed with joy. "He _loves_ it." He pulled out his phone, likely to capture some video. Yuuri was glad. He didn't want to forget this as long as he lived. One day, they'd show it to Chiharu, so he could see how adorable he was as a baby.

"Aahh…that feels even better, huh…like being at the spa," Kanade murmured softly, her eyes dancing with a smile. Yuuri couldn't help but smile, too. She obviously adored her job.

He leaned closer, observing how Kanade was holding their baby, committing it to memory for when they went home. "How often should we bathe him?"

"While his umbilical stump is still attached, a few little sponge baths with a warm rag per week will keep him clean. Since he likes it, you can give him an actual bath if you'd like, but just remember not to submerge that stump until it dries up and falls off." She rinsed some of the shampoo out of Chiharu's hair underneath the faucet, and Yuuri noticed her holding his ears shut as she did. "Just be aware that bathing often may dry out his skin, in which case you would need to use a thin, scentless moisturizer on him after baths. Wash his hair a couple of times a week."

She reached for the soft-bristled brush, turning the water pressure down. "When you're washing his hair, it's good to have one of these little brushes to use. His hair is pretty long, and it may get tangled up while scrubbing if you don't brush those knots out while it's wet and slippery." She rubbed the bristles in slow circles, and Chiharu's eyes opened sleepily, blinking and squinting, then he closed them again. "Ooh…does that feel good?" She twisted the brush, gently pulling the inky strands of hair across the bristles. "Look how long, my goodness…did you have heartburn, Yuuri-san?"

Yuuri huffed out an incredulous laugh. "Did I ever. Bad enough to make me throw up a couple of times. It's no wonder, I guess." He'd never seen such long hair on a newborn.

Then again, he had seen exactly zero newborns up close before yesterday.

"It was all that pretty hair, huh?" Kanade cooed down at Chiharu, who was ignoring them all in favor of enjoying having his hair brushed. His mouth stretched wide in a yawn. "He's going to doze off on me..." Once she had gotten out the few flecks of blood and tissue that had been hiding in Chiharu's hair, she gave it another gentle scrub, then rinsed one final time. Chiharu never opened his eyes again, but his little mouth was parting and closing, and he gave a tiny sigh every now and then. Kanade turned the faucet off, then took a clean, dry washcloth, tucking it around Chiharu's wet hair. "And we're all done. He did so well." She emptied the bowl of the water it had collected, rinsing the sink out. A few beeps sounded from her belt pager. "Bathing doesn't take too long, and it's a wonderful opportunity for bonding time between parents and baby. A lot of parents like to do it right before bedtime, so baby will be warm and relaxed and ready for sweet dreams."

She posed a good point. Chiharu was putty in her hands.

The beeping persisted, and she frowned down at her pager, sighing. "Here, you'll have to take him and finish drying. I'm being paged to another ward, so I have to go. If you have anything you'd like him to wear, you can dress him in it now that he's all squeaky clean." She handed the contented newborn to Yuuri, and he tucked Chiharu into the crook of his arm, keeping the cloth from falling off of his head. With Chiharu safe in his arms again, the tension seeped from his shoulders. He hadn't even realized that he had still been on edge.

"Thank you for all your help, Kanade-san."

"My pleasure. If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask." With a pleasant smile and a backward wave, she was off.

With Viktor's hand at his back, Yuuri returned to the bed, placing Chiharu on the mattress and scooting until the baby was between his thighs. While Viktor retrieved a clean diaper, Yuuri gently patted and rubbed Chiharu's hair dry, catching any stray droplets that still dotted his forehead and temples. Chiharu's eyes cracked open, blinking drowsily, slowly moving across Yuuri's face.

"Hi there, sleepyhead," he whispered, unwrapping him from the towel and accepting the open diaper Viktor handed him. Gently taking both tiny pink feet in one hand, he lifted Chiharu's bottom so he could slide the open diaper underneath, but he second guessed himself, stilling his hand and glancing at Viktor sheepishly. "Do I have that turned the right way, or…?"

Viktor breathed a soft, fond chuckle. "You do. You're doing just fine."

Without too many mishaps, thankfully, Yuuri succeeded in wrapping the diaper around his son, securing it with the sticky tabs in the front. Even though it was a newborn size, it almost seemed too big for him.

"For how big you made your mama's belly, you certainly are a tiny bean," Viktor murmured, placing his finger in Chiharu's palm. The tiny fingers immediately wrapped around Viktor's larger one. He seemed to like holding his dad's finger so far. "Hmm…did we bring him anything to wear?"

Yuuri rubbed his forehead and let out a resigned sigh. He hadn't even thought about it, but he bet his mother probably had. "I didn't…I was counting on him staying put for another week, or at least until we got home." He smiled down at Chiharu. "Mama's silly. You wanted out of there, didn't you? You couldn't wait to meet us."

Chiharu suddenly sucked in a soft breath and let it out in the cutest, _tiniest_ sneeze, and Yuuri's heart felt like it could fly out of his chest at how adorable it was. "Goodness, that was a big sneeze for a little man," he gasped, wiping at Chiharu's nose and mouth.

" _будь здоров,_ " Viktor crooned, stroking the pink wrinkles of Chiharu's forehead.

"Is that 'bless you' in Russian?"

A sweet smile. "Sort of. We say 'be healthy', instead."

Russian was fascinating. Yuuri hoped to learn it one day, just like Viktor hoped to learn Japanese.

He loosened his hospital gown until he could slide it down his shoulders and off of his torso, then he wriggled under the sheets and blankets and lifted Chiharu to his bare chest. He settled him comfortably on his little tummy, pulling the blankets up to cover him, and placed a hand on his back as he reclined against the pillows.

"Until we find him something to wear, I'll just keep him like this. I like having him so close, he's like a little radiator." He smooched the top of Chiharu's head, breathing in the powdery scent of his clean, soft hair. He hadn't known that newborns smelled so sweet and adorable, but little bean sure did. It was a deeply comforting scent, soothing the motherly instincts that had scratched at his mind when Kanade had been bathing Chiharu. Having the warmth and weight of Chiharu on his chest helped a lot, too.

Little bean turned his head, rubbing his cheek against Yuuri's heart, and his fingers curled into the pliable squish of Yuuri's right breast. His eyelids were drooping more and more with every blink. He was probably tired out from his bath, and his tummy was already satisfied since he had nursed a few minutes before Kanade had bathed him, so he was ready for a nice, long nap.

Yuuri knew how he felt.

The bed dipped; Viktor had slipped his shoes off and climbed into bed with them, crawling underneath the covers and snuggling up to Yuuri's side. The heat from his body felt utterly amazing, since Yuuri was still a bit chilly. Ever since he had hemorrhaged, he hadn't been able to feel warm.

Luckily, he was engaged to a big, cuddly, human heating pad.

Viktor's cheek nestled onto his shoulder, and Yuuri dragged his fingers through the soft, silver fringe, pushing it off of Viktor's forehead so he could plant a kiss there.

"You look sleepy," he murmured, draping his arm around Viktor's broad shoulders.

A bit of an understatement, really. Viktor's face was pale, and his eyes were pinkened and shadowed with lack of rest. He was blinking hard and squinting, like they were hurting him.

Yuuri knew for a fact that Viktor had barely slept at all since the baby had been born. He claimed to have slept off and on during the early hours of the morning, but every time Yuuri had woken up to feed Chiharu every two or three hours, Viktor had either been sitting in the chair with the baby in his arms, or, most often, perched on the windowsill with his good leg folded underneath him, staring out at the falling snow as it caught the city lights. An air of melancholy had been present on the visible half of his face, something that ached with longing.

The look had dissipated immediately when Yuuri had stirred.

"I'm n…" A wide yawn interrupted what had sounded like the beginnings of a protest, and Viktor's cheeks flooded with pink.

Yuuri smiled sadly. "Get some sleep, honey. I'll be fine."

Had Viktor been more awake, he would have probably put up more of a fight. Instead, his head grew heavy on Yuuri's shoulder, the arm that had been draped over his torso going limp, fingers curling.

The quiet, even breathing of a deep sleep puffed against Yuuri's hospital gown, and his heart twisted up into a pretzel. Poor Viktor must have been fighting tooth and nail to stay awake.

Viktor spent so much time looking after Yuuri that he often neglected to look after himself. He could spoil Yuuri all day long, but when it came to a simple thing like allowing himself to sleep after being up for hours, it didn't even cross his mind if he felt that Yuuri needed him.

That protectiveness, that innate, selfless need to make sure Yuuri (and now Chiharu) was comfortable and safe…it made that ever-present, unnamed _something_ deep inside Yuuri's chest stretch and curl like a contented cat in the sunlight. And, in turn, it made him feel almost fiercely protective of Viktor. He wanted to shield Viktor's glass heart from all harm, to hold him against his chest and make him feel secure and loved.

Powerful things, instincts.

He leaned forward to smooch the part in Viktor's hair.

_Let yourself rest. You've done more than enough._

As his sweet baby boy dozed off on his chest and his treasure of a fiancé peacefully slumbered away, Yuuri watched them with quiet reflection in his heart, and smiled.

 

 

-

 

 

"He's the prettiest baby I've ever seen," Chris whispered, gazing down at Chiharu and stroking his tiny hand with the tip of one finger. "I've never seen a pretty newborn before, they're usually so…squished and wrinkly. Like miniature-sized old people."

Yuuri's chest may have puffed up in pride. Just a little.

"He gets it from his mama," Viktor informed him, sounding a bit too gleeful that he had obtained that knowledge. "Yuuri was the most _beautiful_ newborn, you should see—"

Yuuri clapped a hand over his mouth, muffling the words into a squawk. "He should _not_. Don't you dare." Viktor's eyes glassed over with sad puppy tears, and Yuuri immediately yanked his hand away, revealing a pitiful lip quiver. "Don't do that, either!" The corner of Viktor's mouth twitched, breaking character, and Yuuri huffed. "And don't look so smug about it…"

"Wow. Oscar-worthy," Phichit deadpanned. "If beanie inherits that talent, you two will never be able to say no to him."

Viktor winced. "Ooh. Let's, uh…not think about telling him no just yet…"

Mari snorted from her window seat. "You're doomed already."

"Hurry up," Phichit demanded, poking Chris' bicep. "I haven't even held him yet."

Chris choked. "Um, excuse me? You literally got to _photograph_ Yuuri pushing him out. Wait your turn, greedy."

"You've been holding him for like…twenty whole minutes!" Phichit exclaimed in exasperation. "At this rate, I'm gonna have to have my own kid to be able to hold a snuggly baby…"

One of Chris' elegant brows lifted. "I'd be glad to assist."

There was a long moment of spluttering before Phichit recovered. "What the f—uhhh, no. You're taken already, Casanova."

But Yuuri didn't miss the subtle blush that dusted across his cheeks and nose.

"Nice censor job," Yuuri interjected, tactfully changing the subject to save Phichit some awkwardness.

"Thanks. I tried super hard." Phichit sighed, gazing down at the baby in Chris' arms. "We'll all have to get used to censoring ourselves around him once he starts getting big enough to understand. I won't have my nephew's first word being the f-bomb.'" He gave Yuri a pointed glance, and he might as well have been scolding an angel from heaven, with how sweet and innocent the answering look was.

"I dunno what you're looking so accusingly at me for." Yuri tilted his head with grace and purpose, sending wispy blond fringe falling across his cherubic face like strands of wheat. "I've done nothing."

Yuuri pressed his lips together to hold in the raucous laughter that threatened to burst out. Everyone else was less successful.

As Chris finally handed Chiharu over with great reluctance and Phichit squealed and cooed over him, Yuuri picked up his phone. Now was his chance.

After snapping a few candid pictures of his smitten best friend, he accessed YouTube, typing rapidly into the search bar and immediately finding what he was looking for.

He quietly beckoned a curious Viktor, handing him an earbud and clicking on the video.

**[yuri plisetsky gpf exhibition 2017]**

Dressed in painted-on black pants of some sort of shimmering fabric and a ripped-up, burnt orange and gold _crop tank,_ of all things, Yuri circled the ice, waving and scowling in an intimidating fashion, as he always did. His long hair was loose and flowing, brushing his muscular shoulders and back and glittering like spun gold under the stadium lights. One arm was encased in a black, fingerless glove that nearly reached his armpit, and the other was bare, save for a sparkling gold cuff bracelet on his slim wrist. His eyes looked sleek and catlike, lids painted hot orange and dusted with golden glitter, and the winged eyeliner he sported looked to be the work of one Phichit Chulanont.

He looked so grown up compared to the previous year's Welcome to the Madness costume that Yuuri felt a pang of sad nostalgia hit his heart.

He wasn't a little kid anymore. He was becoming a handsome young man.

He stood at the center of the rink, closing his eyes and taking his starting pose. When the buzzing and drum beat of the song began, Yuri's movements matched it, writhing and jerking in a way that was almost robotic, then flowing like a ribbon in the wind once the verse started.

The [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhP3J0j9JmY) was familiar to Yuuri. The lyrics were raw and bleeding with hardship, ground out from a rough throat, and Yuri's skating matched it well. He wasn't being careful and meticulous like he did in competitions; he was throwing his whole weight into every movement, his eyes burning with passion and boring into the gaze of the viewer when he passed the cameraman. The way he was skating was haphazard, almost sloppy, but Yuuri knew it was for theatrical effect.

The first jump of the program made Yuuri suck in a soft gasp, less because Yuri nearly fell out of it, and more because he had literally just tried to do a quadruple axel.

_A quadruple fucking axel._

He glanced at Viktor, who was similarly astonished. His finger dragged the progress bar back on the video, playing the quad axel over again.

Now that he watched it again, Yuuri could tell that the near-fall was intentional, perhaps even planned, to break the momentum and save Yuri from completely wiping out.

Christ. This kid was a genius.

The program was stunning. Emotionally impactful. Yuri leaned into the music at all the right times, tossing his hair and giving scathing looks to the camera as he passed. He was mesmerizing to watch.

On the landing of the last jump, Yuri actually bared his teeth at the camera, curling his tongue up to touch his sharp canine, and Yuuri's back straightened at the glimpse of a sparkle he caught.

Had he really…?

The ending of the program distracted him before he could ask. Yuri skidded to his knees and raked his wind-tousled hair out of his face, arching his back and sliding his hand up to clutch his heaving chest under his top, and a tired, but wicked, grin stretched across his sweaty face. He looked so pleased with himself.

Little shit. He _knew_ he was going to cause some controversy with that program, and he was most likely looking forward to it. He did so enjoy ruffling feathers. Particularly Yakov's.

The video ended, and sure enough, when Yuuri scrolled down, he was met with comments full of incoherent key smashing and gratuitous caps lock use.

He bit back a grin, looking toward Yuri, but he was beaten to the question on the tip of his tongue by Viktor.

"Yuri Plisetsky, when in the hell did you get a tongue piercing?"

The chatter between Chris and Phichit broke off.

Yuri slowly tore his gaze away from Chiharu, raising his brows and giving a high, nonchalant "hm?" through a deliberately closed-mouth smile.

Laughter erupted around the room. Yuuri shook with it, mirth filling his chest, and he had to hold onto his stomach when it started to ache from the giggling.

He beckoned with one hand. "Come here, let me see."

Yuri obeyed, shoving his hands in his hoodie pocket and opening his mouth to reveal the gunmetal grey ball on the end of the piercing through his tongue. Part of Yuuri cringed, simply because he imagined it had been painful, but it somehow looked natural on Yuri.

He smiled up at Yuri's wary expression. "Looks neat. Did it hurt?"

Yuri relaxed, shaking his head. "Not as much as this one did." He tucked his hair back and pointed to his ear piercing.

"Hey, the two piercings sort of match," Viktor noted. He was right; they looked like two of the same kind of metal bar.

"So when did you get it?" Yuuri repeated.

"Couple weeks ago…maybe three."

"How did you hide that from us for so long?" Mari asked, and Yuri plopped back down in his chair.

"By talking carefully? I dunno. The grumps had no idea, either, until I flashed it during the exhibition. They, uh." His grin was decidedly gleeful. "They hate it."

"Well, I think it looks nice," Yuuri said honestly, and Yuri's cheeks turned a bit pink. "And your program was amazing. I just hate I missed seeing it in person."

A one-shouldered shrug. "Little dude wanted out. You couldn't help that. Besides, it's up on YouTube."

Phichit lit up. "I'll have to watch it later. I wanna see how well that makeup shimmered on camera. Yuuri, could you see that bomb ass wing job? I was proud of it."

Yuri sniffed. "He was too busy watching his kid's favorite uncle to notice your coloring skills, bushy brows."

Phichit sucked in a gasp, holding Chiharu a bit closer. "You take that back." He leaned and whispered down at Chiharu, who was awake and looking up at him with furrowed brow. "Don't listen to him, buddy, we all know I'm your fave."

"I wouldn't be so confident," Chris said with a smirk. "He slept like a doll the whole time I held him, and now he's staring at you like you have two heads."

"Oh, my God, he is," Yuri whooped. "I think we know who the _least_ favorite is, actually."

As if to prove Yuri correct, Chiharu started bawling.

As everyone laughed and Phichit hastily handed the hungry baby back to his mother, Yuuri couldn't help but feel like there was something missing from the gathering.

Or, rather, someone.

 

 

-

 

 

"It's not much," Yakov grunted, crossing his arms and pretending he wasn't sitting thigh to thigh with his ex-wife and being civil about it. "But I didn't send a gift to the baby shower."

Translation: Lilia sent a gift and I didn't want her to think badly of me.

"You really didn't have to get us anything." Yuuri's cheeks were flushed, and he was talking with his hands, as he always tended to when he was flustered. _Cute_ , Viktor thought admiringly. "We didn't want anyone to feel obligated to." He delicately pulled some of the mint green tissue paper out of the small bag.

"If I hadn't wanted to get you anything, I wouldn't have," Yakov said bluntly, and Yuuri gave a nearly imperceptible wince. "I don't buy things for people out of obligation."

"You can believe him; he _really_ doesn't," Yuri deadpanned from his place between Otabek and Lilia, where he was preoccupied with gazing at the sleeping baby in Otabek's arms and studying every part of his teeny hands.

"Well…okay…" Yuuri pulled out the first item, and as he held it up and it unfolded, his and Viktor's jaws both dropped.

It was the tiniest kigurumi Viktor had ever seen, perhaps made to fit a three-month-old. It was fluffy, toasty brown, and had poodle ears on the hood that looked an _awful_ lot like Makkachin's.

"That's…fucking adorable," Yuri said in a shocked monotone, and Lilia jabbed his leg, sending him a warning glare.

"Language, young man, there's a baby in the room. Horrible habit."

Yuri scoffed. "Please, he can't understand. His thought processes consist of 'eat, sleep, shit, cry', on infinite repeat." Otabek gave a quiet, closed-mouth chuckle, shaking his head, and Lilia let out a long-suffering sigh toward the ceiling.

Viktor grinned inwardly; getting Yuri to stop swearing was like telling Christophe to commit to celibacy.

"I love it," Yuuri murmured, a delighted smile lighting up his eyes as he petted and smoothed the fluff on the kigurumi. He turned it over; a floofy little tail hung from the backside. "That's so cute…"

Viktor could tell that Yakov was trying his hardest not to act pleased, shifting and blustering in typical Yakov fashion. "It was the smallest size, there was no newborn option. But it will fit him in a few months."

"Thank you so much, that will be nice and warm for the winter." Yuuri set the kigurumi aside, pulling out two onesies that were folded into each other.

One was heather grey, long-sleeved with long pant legs, and sported the words 'little bean' embroidered in white across the front. The other was short-sleeved and two-toned, fading from baby blue at the top to pale pink at the bottom, and the front of it read '#victorybaby' in metallic gold.

Viktor's heart stirred with affection. Yakov was an old softie.

"You know what a hashtag is?" Yuri asked in exaggerated astonishment, and Yakov gave him a scowl.

Yuuri turned big, wet eyes from the onesies to Yakov, his lip quivering on a smile. "They're perfect," he whispered thickly. Viktor saw his throat bob. He was trying not to cry; he hated crying in front of people, especially authority figures like Yakov and Lilia. It made him feel weak. He lifted a hand and caught the tear that escaped his dark lashes before it could trickle all the way down his cheek, turning his face away and voicing a weak, tearful laugh that sounded more like a sob. "Sorry," he murmured, his words wavering in the air. "Hormones are still all over the place, I think…"

Lilia's eyes were softer than Viktor had ever seen. "Don't be sorry. I understand…" she trailed off, as if she wanted to say more, but something was stopping her.

Viktor was puzzled. Lilia and Yakov had never had any children, so how could she…?

Yuuri sniffled, stuffing the kigurumi and blue and pink onesie back into the bag, keeping the grey one out. "Let's dress him in this one," he murmured, smoothing his fingertips along the embroidery.

Viktor gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze on the way up from his seat on the side of the bed, and was gifted with a precious smile.

Once he retrieved Chiharu from Otabek (after some grumbling and grousing from Yuri, who had been next in line to hold him), he placed him on the bed in front of Yuuri. As Yuuri unwrapped Chiharu from the blanket and unbuttoned the onesie, preparing to slip it over the baby's head, his movements were hesitant. He sent Viktor an uneasy glance.

"Will you help me?"

"You can do it," Viktor encouraged gently, rubbing up and down Yuuri's warm back. "Babies aren't as breakable as they seem."

"For real. If I can hold a baby without it breaking, then they're pretty damn sturdy," Yuri stated.

Yuuri looked quite unconvinced, but after a few moments of deliberation, he began the slow, tender task of dressing their baby.

It was so sweet to watch.

At first, his hands were visibly shaking, and he kept looking to Viktor with fear in his eyes, especially when Chiharu started waking up from being moved. But, gradually, he relaxed, probably because Chiharu stayed content and quiet, even once he was completely awake.

Chiharu was quite unbothered by Yuuri pulling the onesie over his head and guiding his arms and legs through the holes. He was such a good baby so far that Viktor was amazed, and very thankful. His nephew had screamed bloody murder any time clothes were put on him for the first several months of his life.

Considering how hard the pregnancy had been for Yuuri, he considered Chiharu being a calm baby to be quite the reward.

The love in Yuuri's eyes was such a raw, pure thing that Viktor's heart was touched. He talked as he worked, his voice rising and falling in a one-sided conversation much like the ones he'd had with his baby bump, before little bean was born.

 _"Good morning,"_ he murmured in Japanese, tracing Chiharu's tiny eyebrow and cheekbone with his fingertip. _"Did you sleep well? Oh, my, that's a big yawn…good, your diaper is clean. Mama's going to dress you so you don't get cold, okay? Grandpa gave you this to wear…he loves you so dearly, even though he might not say so. I hope you'll give him a lot of hugs and kisses when you get older. It would make him very happy."_

Viktor had to bite the inside of his lip to control the tears that threatened to well up. No one in the room but him would understand those words.

"There." Yuuri switched back to English, pressing the snaps on the onesie closed all along the inside of Chiharu's legs with a series of small pops. "Now you're all dressed up." His eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled down at the baby, who was gazing up at him sweetly, looking like a little model in a newborn magazine. Viktor still couldn't believe what a pretty baby they had. Utter perfection.

"It's a bit too big," Yakov sighed, badly hiding his disappointment. He had been watching like a hawk the entire time.

"That's alright, he's just an itty bitty bean," Yuuri cooed, lifting Chiharu to his shoulder, supporting his bottom with one hand. "He'll be warm and cozy now, that's the important thing. Thank you, Coach Feltsman."

"It's the least I could do."

"Well, no," Yuuri said thoughtfully, carefully scooting to the edge of the bed and easing to his feet. His voice was breathy and drawn taut by discomfort as he walked across the room. "The least you could have done would have been nothing. These were wonderful gifts, and I'll treasure them."

Yakov shifted and sputtered quietly as Yuuri held Chiharu out to him, finally giving up whatever protests he had been about to make and accepting the baby into his arms. His hold was slightly stiff and nervous, but somehow, that was incredibly endearing.

"I'm holding him for a solid hour after this, I've been robbed," Yuri muttered.

"He favors you quite a bit," Yakov said gruffly in Yuuri's direction as he sank back down onto the bed, and Yuuri perked up, his eyes lighting up with pride.

"He does, but…" Lilia leaned closer, and if Viktor wasn't imagining things, Yakov's leathery cheeks turned a bit ruddy. "He has Vitya's lip shape." She paused, and her volume dropped lower. "Dear Shurochka's lips were a lovely heart shape like that, too."

Viktor's heart gave a mild jerk.

Yuuri raised his eyebrows in confusion, and Viktor hoped his smile didn't look as strained as it felt.

"My mother," he supplied.

Yuuri's back straightened. "Really?" His voice went soft and high with awe and reverence. A muted sadness and longing glistened in his eyes for a moment, but then he smiled, though a bit timidly. "I'm so glad he inherited something from her."

Viktor stifled the grief and resentment that threatened to boil up in his chest.

As if to punish him, his knee pulsed faintly with pain.

_You have no right to resent her._

_Hypocrite._

As the chatter picked up around them again, he was sure Yuuri noticed him go quiet, because Yuuri noticed everything these days.

But never once did he question or press.

Instead, his slightly smaller hand slipped into Viktor's, giving it a gentle squeeze and lacing their fingers together. When Viktor looked up, Yuuri's tired brown eyes were quietly shining with affection.

Throughout the rest of the visit, Yuuri never let go of his hand.

 

 

-

 

 

Later that evening, after all of the visiting and baby meeting was over, Yuuri was the one who was quiet.

His eyes were roving over little bean's face, watching how his jaw flexed and his tiny, rosy lips flanged around the nipple as he suckled.

A soft laugh left Viktor. "His lips sort of look like a little fish."

"They do," Yuuri murmured, "I was just thinking that."

Well, part of his mind might have been. He had that look in his eye, the one that showed up when he was deep in thought, and maybe a bit sad.

Viktor rubbed up and down his thigh, feeling the warmth and softness of it. "Something wrong, love?"

Yuuri shook his head, lifting Chiharu to his shoulder once he released the nipple. "Not really. Just…thinking about Minami-kun, that's all." He rubbed and patted their newborn's back, lowering his gaze. "I wonder how he's doing…I've been so preoccupied that I haven't even thought to text him…I'm not even sure where my phone is, actually…"

So that was it…Viktor had wondered when he would bring it up.

"He's fine," he assured quietly. "I texted him earlier and checked on him."

Yuuri brightened, then dimmed. His eyes drifted downward, looking back and forth on the bedding, then he seemed to come to a decision.

"…Viktor?"

"Mm?"

Yuuri switched Chiharu to his other breast.

"…can you ask him to come here…?"

 

 

-

 

 

As Viktor held the hospital room door open for him, Minami carefully padded into the room in sock feet, swallowed up in an oversized grey t-shirt and a baggy pair of black sweatpants. His petite hands held onto the IV stand he rolled beside him, using it as a sort of crutch to support some of his weight.

Yuuri's heart sank like a rock in deep water, weighed down by guilt.

Minami's normally glowing, healthy complexion was very pale. The inside of his left elbow was smeared with bruises, like it had been struck with a baseball bat. The skin where the needle of the IV was taped to his arm was patchy with green and purple. There was a tiredness in his honey brown eyes that Yuuri had never seen from him before; he was always such a ball of energy and positivity.

A lump rose in Yuuri's throat, and he desperately swallowed it down, even though he knew he'd end up crying at some point, anyway.

When Minami's gaze met his own, his face went through a myriad of different emotions. Relieved joy, cutting grief, and finally, his eyes filled with tears.

"Yuuri-san," he whispered hoarsely, his hands tightening on the metal bar of the stand.

Sitting up and swinging his legs off of the bed, Yuuri waited until Minami was close enough, then slowly stood to his feet, gently settling his sleeping bundle in the middle of the bed and anchoring him with pillows.

Minami's face contorted in panic, and his pace quickened, causing his voice to waver. "Y-you shouldn't be standing, you could fall! Yuuri-san—"

When he was near enough, Yuuri reached out and pulled him close, silencing the worried babbling with a tight hug.

Minami trembled in his arms, so small, yet so strong, and his arms slowly wrapped around Yuuri's waist.

"Yuuri-san," he choked out, the words quivering and squeaking with restraint. Like a pop-up rain shower, he was suddenly sobbing weakly into Yuuri's shoulder. Another muffled, wailing _"Yuuri-san"_ warmed the fabric of Yuuri's hospital gown, such a sorrowful sound that Yuuri's own eyes flooded with tears.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Viktor give him a soft smile and step out of the room, probably to give their reunion some privacy.

Not for the last time, he was grateful that Viktor wasn't overly possessive of him. Any other person's hackles might have been a bit raised; Minami may have been short and petite, but that didn't change the nature of the strong, confident pheromones he gave off.

But Viktor knew that the love Minami felt for Yuuri was in no way romantic. It was simply hero worship, mixed with an awkward but genuine longing for friendship and closeness.

Viktor was too good of a person to be jealous of something so pure and innocent.

As Minami clung to him and wept into his shoulder, his tiny frame trembling with emotion, Yuuri couldn't help but give in to the urge to cry, too. Resting his chin on Minami's head, he closed his eyes and let the tears slip down his face in hot trails, quiet sobs shaking his shoulders. Once again, his heart filled with a gratitude so immense that it threatened to crush him under its weight.

He was sure that if Minami hadn't donated his blood, he wouldn't be standing here today.

Viktor would be bereaved at the young age of twenty-eight, made a widower before they had even had the chance to marry. His parents would have lost the baby boy they had so desperately hoped for while his mother was carrying him in her belly.

Chiharu's life would have been drastically changed forever, before it had even truly begun.

Minami was a godsend.

Yuuri sucked in a shuddering sniffle, rubbing up and down the curve of Minami's back. "I feel like…there's not even a way to adequately thank you," he whispered, Japanese falling from his lips without any conscious thought required. "What you did was the m-most precious, selfless gift I've ever been given."

With a series of gasping sniffles and hiccups, Minami caught his breath. Yuuri's heart was touched by how gently he was hugging his waist.

"I didn't…when they came in and said you were f-fading away and they didn't know how l-long you had, I didn't think about it for a second, I…they tried to protest and tell me I was too small to give so much blood and that there were health risks involved for me, b-but…" he shook his head, rubbing his wet face on Yuuri's chest, and more soft, grieved sobs tumbled from his lips. "The baby needs you more than I needed my blood."

Ohh, that nearly broke Yuuri's heart.

He nestled his lips in Minami's hair, stroking the back of it and feeling a parental protectiveness squeeze his chest.

"I'll never forget this. Not for the rest of my life." He leaned back, barely able to see Minami's emotion-pinched face through his own tears. "And you gave that to me, Minami-kun. I have the rest of my life, thanks to you."

Minami's mouth twisted, face crumbling, and he buried his face in Yuuri's chest once more.

Yuuri let him cry as long as he needed to. Sometimes the heart needed a good cry, especially after such an emotionally-charged day. It had obviously affected Minami pretty heavily; he was very sensitive, and far more in touch with his emotions than most teenage boys Yuuri knew.

Only when Yuuri's legs began to burn and quiver did he move to break the embrace.

He wiped his cheeks and reached for a few tissues, handing one to Minami. "Do you feel better?"

"Mhm," Minami nodded, patting his eyes with the tissue and blowing his nose. "A lot."

"Good." He gave Minami's shoulder a pat. "Now, wash your hands. Someone's been waiting to meet you."

Minami's eyes lit up with excitement.

While he dragged his IV stand to the sink and hastily scrubbed his hands, Yuuri sat back down on the bed, hoping his sigh of relief wasn't too obvious. Standing for a long time like that hadn't been very easy. His stomach was cramping pretty badly.

Slipping his hands underneath his blanket-wrapped newborn, he lifted him into his arms, loving the solid, warm weight of him. The bed creaked as Minami sat down, gazing at Chiharu with eyes filled with wonder, and he gladly held his arms out when Yuuri offered. From the way he nestled Chiharu in the crook of his elbow with ease, it was obvious that he had held a baby before.

"Hey, little guy," Minami whispered down at the baby, so quiet and tender that Yuuri's smile quivered. "It's nice to finally meet you in person. Well, outside of Yuuri-san's tummy, that is." Chiharu squirmed and wriggled, waking up from his nap and yawning. His sleepy blue eyes opened halfway, squinting up at Minami. "Oh…did I wake you? My bad…" Minami slipped his finger up under Chiharu's fist to loosen it, and the tiny fingers curled around his larger one. "So, how's life? Is it good so far?" Chiharu's lips parted as he studied Minami's face. "I bet it is, with a mom and dad like Yuuri-san and Viktor-san. They're really cool. You'll see that when you're older."

Yuuri snorted. "I hope he thinks so. He may end up thinking I'm lame."

Minami gave him an affronted glance. "I don't see how anyone could ever think that about you." His tone was sincere and genuine.

"We'll see, I guess."

The adorable conversation continued, and Yuuri watched with a relaxed smile on his face. He was pleased and relieved that Chiharu was such a calm baby so far, even when being held by strangers. Minami likely smelled vastly different from him, but Chiharu was as content as could be, watching Minami talk with rapt attention, utterly captivated by the rise and fall of his voice and his happy expressions.

That was the sight Viktor returned to. At some point, he had come back, but hadn't entered the room; he was leaning against the doorway with his arms loosely crossed and a fondness softening his handsome features, cast in the bright white light from the hallway.

His voice finally broke the quiet, words breathed out with affection and colored with his smile.

"Haru-chan has found himself a big brother, I see."

Minami lifted his gaze, and his smile was like a soft, warm light bulb in the rapidly dimming room; dusk was beginning to fall outside. The city lights sparkled in his eyes as he laughed. "I feel so honored."

"I'm serious." Viktor crossed the room, sitting on the bed next to them. "He already has three big sisters. The triplets claimed that title a long time ago." He rested a hand on Minami's slim shoulder. "I think he needs a big brother, too."

Minami's face slowly went blank. Disbelief overtook his features, and his eyes misted over. "You really mean that, don't you."

Viktor nodded softly. Yuuri echoed the gesture with a smile when Minami looked to him.

"We'd love for him to grow up with a big brother figure." Yuuri rested his hand between Minami's shoulder blades, feeling that same, parental affection fill his chest. "If you'd consider being a part of his life, _we_ would be honored."

Minami's smile was a fragile, precious thing. "I'd…I'd love to," he whispered. He scrubbed away a tear that fell. "I'll be the absolute best big brother I can possibly be." He looked down at Chiharu, who was still as quiet and relaxed as could be. "Hear that, little guy? If you ever need me, just say the word, and I'll come running. I'll protect you with everything in me. Need help catching bugs? Need someone to show you how to climb a tree? Need bullies taken care of? I'm your guy. You can count on Kenji-nii for anything." Chiharu wriggled and yawned, his tongue making a soft clicking against his gums once the yawn finished. "Glad you're as excited about it as I am."

Yuuri and Viktor both chuckled. Minami's enthusiasm was so contagious.

Chiharu's extended family was growing by the hour, and they all loved him fiercely.

He was a lucky kid, indeed.

 

 

-

 

 

The crunching snap of the camera went off two times in quick succession, and Yuuri lifted his head to see Phichit leaning back, surveying his screen with Viktor peeking over his shoulder.

"Oh, that's good. Look how sweet," Phichit whispered, tapping his finger on the screen of the camera, and Viktor looked utterly love-struck, like he could swoon and fall over at any moment.

"Hey, you took me off guard…" Yuuri reached out a grabby hand, the other still supporting Chiharu's back while he snoozed away in his arms, his tummy full and happy with his early morning meal. "Lemme see. You could have warned me, you know."

"Um, no. Then it wouldn't have been a candid shot. It's more genuine if you're unaware."

Phichit turned the camera around, and Yuuri felt his entire being soften.

"Perfect," he murmured.

Viktor nodded. "Agreed."

Phichit clicked a few buttons on the camera. "You sure you wanna post something? Your phone's gonna be blowing up for weeks."

"I'll just turn social media notifications off or something," Yuuri sighed, fingering the soft fabric of the blanket Chiharu was wrapped in. Little bean turned his head slightly, his warm cheek squishing on Yuuri's chest and a soft, sleepy sound leaving his lips. Was there anything sweeter than a sleeping newborn? Yuuri didn't think so. "I'm just afraid I'll have people beating down my hospital room door."

Viktor sank down on the bed next to Yuuri, phone in hand. "They won't know just from the picture what hospital we're in. We'll be safe until we can go home."

_Yeah, in six more days…_

Yuuri groaned inwardly. If his body hadn't pitched such a magnificent fit after giving birth, they might have been able to leave far sooner.

…well, maybe a couple of days sooner, at least. Japanese hospitals liked to keep new mothers for a few days, to give them plenty of time to rest up and make sure all was well, and to make sure the mother could breastfeed properly, if they so chose.

He patted down the irritation, realizing that he should be grateful, not grumpy. Their room was comfortable and homey, their caregiver was a literal saint, his family was a couple of buildings away, and he and Viktor had a beautiful baby boy to kiss and snuggle and love.

Most importantly…he was alive to see it all.

Viktor's phone pinged with what Yuuri assumed was the picture Phichit had just taken, and he began rapidly tapping and typing away, his pretty eyes moving back and forth on his screen and his heart-shaped lips curved into a proud smile.

Yuuri watched him silently, stroking his newborn's hair all the while and marveling at just how far he had come.

A year and eight months ago, with the April cherry blossoms covered in a late dusting of snow, he had slipped and stumbled his way through the onsen in a panicked frenzy, only to see Viktor stand up in the steaming water, naked as the day he was born and a charming smile on his handsome face, and reach out a gentle hand in invitation. He _still_ felt the burn in his cheeks from how hard he had blushed.

Now, Viktor was about to announce the birth of their baby boy to the world

He was so more than just an idol on a poster come to life now. He was Yuuri's best friend. His shoulder to cry on. The light of his life, through thick and thin.

The man he was going to marry, and would feel honored to spend the rest of his life with.

Those blue-green eyes glistened with a deep, weary pain, burdened with the things he had seen, but there was also something softer in them, a quiet, radiant joy.

Though he was world-worn, he was still the same Viktor that Yuuri had fallen head-over-heels for. In fact, Yuuri kept finding new reasons to love him, every single day.

Those vibrant eyes drifted up, catching Yuuri's gaze, and Viktor's silver brows lifted.

"What is it, baby?"

Oh, Yuuri loved it so much when Viktor called him that.

A soft smile formed on his lips. "Just watching my love."

The answering smile he received was as pure as freshly fallen snow.

Viktor leaned in to place a kiss on his mouth, and he reached up to hold him there for a moment, closing his eyes and savoring every part of it. Viktor's warm, soft lips…the press of the tip of Viktor's nose beside his own…the cool, silky brush of fringe on his cheek…

Tears stung his eyes, bringing a lump to his throat.

He'd never take Viktor's kisses for granted again.

When they broke the kiss and Viktor leaned back, his eyes were misty.

Perhaps he had been thinking the same.

Yuuri combed his fingers through the back of Viktor's hair, giving him a trembling smile. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too, solnyshko." Viktor traced his thumb over Yuuri's cheekbone, resting the other hand on the receiving blanket that held their newborn. "Ready to introduce little bean to the world?"

Yuuri brought their foreheads together tenderly, the tide of love ebbing and flowing in his heart.

"Ready."

 

 

-

 

 

 **v-nikiforov**  
♡24,864,692 likes  
As some of you noticed, I didn't skate in the GPF Exhibition Gala yesterday morning as planned. I sincerely apologize for the lack of notice.

But, as you can see, I had much more important things on my mind.

On December 10th, at 8:17 pm, after twenty-one grueling hours of labor, Yuuri gave birth to the most flawless masterpiece I've ever had the honor of laying my eyes on.

Our precious baby boy, Chiharu Fyodor Nikiforov.

He weighs 7 pounds, 8 ounces, and is 19 1/2" long. We are absolutely in love. Yuuri had some complications, but is recovering nicely.

At this time, we ask for privacy and courtesy while Yuuri heals, and while we bond with our sweet little bean.

Thank you all so much for being so incredibly supportive of us throughout Yuuri's pregnancy. We have the best supporters in the world! ♡

#victorybaby #hellochiharu #teamblueprevails #blackhairforthewin #helookssomuchlikehismama #wereblessed♡

  
**CherryBlossomPanic** HOLY SHIT WE WERE RIGHT I'M SOBBING LOOK HOW PRECIOUS HE IS FJDJFFJFNNNDKF #victorybaby  
18,394 likes

 **TimeToDuel** AAAAAIIIIEEEEEEE LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY, I WAS ROOTING FOR A BOY, YESSSSSSS #victorybaby  
15,292 likes

 **megumin-best-girl** Oh my god!!! Congratulations, Viktor and Yuuri, he's absolutely gorgeous!!! #victorybaby #prettyblackhair  
12,075 likes

 **g-popo** an absolutely perfect baby boy! I'm blown away by how precious he is! #victorybaby  
12,347 likes

 **december-rain** Look at what a beautiful creation he brought into the world…I'm a mess. Congrats  <33 #victorybaby  
12,002 likes

 **00Ophelia00** YAAAASSSSS TEAM BLUE WINS BITCHES, LOOK AT THAT PRETTY BABY I'M LITERALLY FIST PUMPING IN BED #victorybaby  
14,851 likes

 **mila-b** IM SOBBING IN MY KITCHEN HES THE PRETTIEST YOU GUYS IM SO PROUD #victorybaby #cantwaittomeetthelittleprince  
19,865 likes

 **Raiarain** oh my god we were right??? That's awesome!! Congrats and best wishes, Viktor and Yuuri!!! #victorybaby #imsoproudforthem  
10,469 likes

 **sign-of-igni** oof, 21 hours…my labor was only 15 and it still felt like an eternity. Bravo, Yuuri, you're a trooper! #victorybaby  
11,834 likes

 **+guanghongji+** OMG :hearteyes: he's beautiful!! Congratulations!!! #victorybaby  
29,481 likes

 **sukeota3sisters** WE CANT WAIT TO HOLD HIM ♡♡♡♡ -axel  
2,779 likes

 **v-nikiforov** As soon as we get home, you and your mom and dad will have to come visit! ♡  
     25,812 likes

 **sara-crisp** MICKEEYYYYY YUURI HAD THE BABY IM SCREAMING @mickey-crispino #victorybaby #ineedoxygen #iwannasnugglehim  
18,644 likes

 **mickey-crispino** oh wow! Congratulations!  
     18,357 likes

 **Emil-Neko** AHH! Look how sweet he is! Congrats, guys! #victorybaby  
9,897 likes

 **EdgeOfNight24** oh, god. am i the only one who understands the gravity of that middle name  
3,208 likes

 **motherfuckinjesseeisenberg** fyodor was viktor's dad's name ;_;  
     60,853 likes

 **izzy-yang** looooooook @Jjleroy!15 Yuuri had his baby!! I was right! Congratulations @katsuki-y and @v-nikiforov, he's gorgeous! ♡♡ #victorybaby  
16,243 likes

 **Jjleroy!15** blue team wins!! That's a handsome little dude, man! Proud of you! #victorybaby  
     30,869 likes

 **katsuki-y** thank you both! ^-^  
          53,256 likes

 **leo-de-la-iglesia** WOW!! That's a teeny tiny Yuuri clone if I ever saw one! Congrats, guys, he's amazing! #victorybaby  
9,465 likes

 **NeuroticPickle** look at their matching cowlicks I'm screaminggg #victorybaby  
4,295 likes

 

>>See 13,498 more comments

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much fun with that art, especially the lighting :') sweet bby looks just like his mama ♡
> 
> As always, thank you all so much for the support and love you've shown me and this story. This would never have kept going without your encouragement. Thank you <3
> 
> The next update may not be for a while, like this one was. I'm struggling with depression and anxiety and hating my job and not having time to write anymore, so please, yall, be patient with mama lil. She's having a hard time.
> 
> Next chapter: postpartum recovery, sweet bean bonding, coming to terms, and more.
> 
> Until next time, dearies. ♡


End file.
